FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > false compassion
false compassion
Jump to: Newest in thread
To keep Fabios Fabrice Muamba thread for its original purpose i have moved my comment to a new thread.
Everyone is probably going to think i am a heartless bitch about this but more and more recently i have become aware of wave of false compassion taking over society.
is this time of 24hr, world wide news and social networking developed this? it seems every day i am being told i must feel sorry for someone tragically losing their lives, and yes of course it is a sad thing but i did not know them, if they hadnt of made the news i would never have heard of them in my life, why should i now mourn them?
life is tough eough without having to bear the weight of all this sadness |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It might be genuine compassion though.. Just because you don't feel it, it doesn't mean they don't.
But I somewhat agree as I don't care what happens to anyone outside if my family |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
well to be honest I dont no the guy nor
Copied and pasted from fabios thread as I dont want to be seen to hijack it wityh some humour
do I like football. Yeah ok its sad for his family and friends who no him well. I am not one of the above and am not likely to be either. So there ya go. If im really honest yes its sad if the chap is really ill but quite frankly my dear I couldnt give a dam
Sorry Fabio m8 just my humble opinion to a thread on a public |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It might be genuine compassion though.. Just because you don't feel it, it doesn't mean they don't.
But I somewhat agree as I don't care what happens to anyone outside if my family "
maybe compassion is the wrong word....i think i mean grief, people actually acting as if they have lost a close friend when in fact they have no connection to the person themselves |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It might be genuine compassion though.. Just because you don't feel it, it doesn't mean they don't.
But I somewhat agree as I don't care what happens to anyone outside if my family "
 same here really unless the local pie shop burns down the night before a buy one get one free sale
Then I be fackin heart broken and in mourning for at least an hour before I get over to the other shop opporsite end of town |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
There is a huge difference between genuine, heart felt compassion and taking somebody else's grief on which happened to many people when Princess Di died. The former one is healthy, the latter prossibly means that those who are deeply affected may be grieving about something else altogether. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There is a huge difference between genuine, heart felt compassion and taking somebody else's grief on which happened to many people when Princess Di died. The former one is healthy, the latter prossibly means that those who are deeply affected may be grieving about something else altogether. "
Yeah hun tell me about it already. I mean they was steak and kidney as well grrrrrrrrrrrr feckin arseonists they should shoot um
With a meatless potatoe gun hahaha POTATOE |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"It might be genuine compassion though.. Just because you don't feel it, it doesn't mean they don't.
But I somewhat agree as I don't care what happens to anyone outside if my family
maybe compassion is the wrong word....i think i mean grief, people actually acting as if they have lost a close friend when in fact they have no connection to the person themselves"
Think it started with the mass outpouring of grief when Princess Diana died...yes, these are all tragedies, but they are happening every second of every day to people all over.....sad and tragic but I don't grieve over a personality/celeb, I spare a thought for their families and in some cases think what a waste of life when that talentless junkie Pete Docherty is still alive and kicking..... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It might be genuine compassion though.. Just because you don't feel it, it doesn't mean they don't.
But I somewhat agree as I don't care what happens to anyone outside if my family
maybe compassion is the wrong word....i think i mean grief, people actually acting as if they have lost a close friend when in fact they have no connection to the person themselves
Think it started with the mass outpouring of grief when Princess Diana died...yes, these are all tragedies, but they are happening every second of every day to people all over.....sad and tragic but I don't grieve over a personality/celeb, I spare a thought for their families and in some cases think what a waste of life when that talentless junkie Pete Docherty is still alive and kicking....."
I dont no think on the positive side kids theres always work that comes from these sort of things. Why a mate of mine had just been laid off from the AA at the time and was called upon as he was at the time the only one qualified enough to take the engine block intact out out of an ageing princess
Ok ok so I no its wrong but come on you knew I would tho didnt you so bog off haha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"To keep Fabios Fabrice Muamba thread for its original purpose i have moved my comment to a new thread.
Everyone is probably going to think i am a heartless bitch about this but more and more recently i have become aware of wave of false compassion taking over society.
is this time of 24hr, world wide news and social networking developed this? it seems every day i am being told i must feel sorry for someone tragically losing their lives, and yes of course it is a sad thing but i did not know them, if they hadnt of made the news i would never have heard of them in my life, why should i now mourn them?
life is tough eough without having to bear the weight of all this sadness"
do you have compassion for those poor boys that have laid down their live on foriegn soil or have lost limbs ?
you don't know them
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If it doesn't involve me and mine then usually it doesn't bother me.
Ask any parent (myself included) not to be touched in some way by the Belgian bus crash and you can't help but feel for them and the families.
We are all different and have different feelings about certain situations, so somebody, somewhere will connect with a catastrophy or what they consider serious to them personally.
I do agree that there are a lot crocodile tears these days over little or nothing though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To keep Fabios Fabrice Muamba thread for its original purpose i have moved my comment to a new thread.
Everyone is probably going to think i am a heartless bitch about this but more and more recently i have become aware of wave of false compassion taking over society.
is this time of 24hr, world wide news and social networking developed this? it seems every day i am being told i must feel sorry for someone tragically losing their lives, and yes of course it is a sad thing but i did not know them, if they hadnt of made the news i would never have heard of them in my life, why should i now mourn them?
life is tough eough without having to bear the weight of all this sadness
do you have compassion for those poor boys that have laid down their live on foriegn soil or have lost limbs ?
you don't know them
"
Yeah I probarbly served with one or two
But there ya go man they no what there signing up for |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"It might be genuine compassion though.. Just because you don't feel it, it doesn't mean they don't.
But I somewhat agree as I don't care what happens to anyone outside if my family
maybe compassion is the wrong word....i think i mean grief, people actually acting as if they have lost a close friend when in fact they have no connection to the person themselves
Think it started with the mass outpouring of grief when Princess Diana died...yes, these are all tragedies, but they are happening every second of every day to people all over.....sad and tragic but I don't grieve over a personality/celeb, I spare a thought for their families and in some cases think what a waste of life when that talentless junkie Pete Docherty is still alive and kicking.....
I dont no think on the positive side kids theres always work that comes from these sort of things. Why a mate of mine had just been laid off from the AA at the time and was called upon as he was at the time the only one qualified enough to take the engine block intact out out of an ageing princess
Ok ok so I no its wrong but come on you knew I would tho didnt you so bog off haha"
'kin hell Bob, had to read that twice before I realised 
You'll never get into heaven you terrible boy  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"False Compassion?
Are you suggesting people display fake empathy for others misfortunes?"
Oooow thinking on the positive side of this folks. I cant seem to get a meet tonight who fancies giving me a sympathy shag then??? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think the grief can be genuine in the case of fans... I agree with the above that it's maybe a bit unhealthy to be that wrapped up in a person you don't really know - but it does genuinely happen.
I don't grieve strangers, but I also don't just 'Not give a shit' there is always a fleeting moment of something when I hear something like this, sometimes more than others.
...As to 'humour' I don't mind it so much, Timbers comment about the left over pies was quite amusing.
I remember on another site a thread got started when Morrisey collapsed on stage, the thread did get a bit over the top I thought, so when someone said "I hope he gets better" I said "I've been saying that for years" I got a right slating and nasty messages for that.
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think the grief can be genuine in the case of fans... I agree with the above that it's maybe a bit unhealthy to be that wrapped up in a person you don't really know - but it does genuinely happen.
I don't grieve strangers, but I also don't just 'Not give a shit' there is always a fleeting moment of something when I hear something like this, sometimes more than others.
...As to 'humour' I don't mind it so much, Timbers comment about the left over pies was quite amusing.
I remember on another site a thread got started when Morrisey collapsed on stage, the thread did get a bit over the top I thought, so when someone said "I hope he gets better" I said "I've been saying that for years" I got a right slating and nasty messages for that.
"
Awwww right so thats were his inperation came from to write his last album then was it? hmmmm I didnt no that.
No wonder I had the sudden urge to reach for a razor blade to slice my feckin wrists after queing up for one of the first copies of Morrisy album lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"To keep Fabios Fabrice Muamba thread for its original purpose i have moved my comment to a new thread.
Everyone is probably going to think i am a heartless bitch about this but more and more recently i have become aware of wave of false compassion taking over society.
is this time of 24hr, world wide news and social networking developed this? it seems every day i am being told i must feel sorry for someone tragically losing their lives, and yes of course it is a sad thing but i did not know them, if they hadnt of made the news i would never have heard of them in my life, why should i now mourn them?
life is tough eough without having to bear the weight of all this sadness
do you have compassion for those poor boys that have laid down their live on foriegn soil or have lost limbs ?
you don't know them
"
i have already said on here that i used the wrong word with compassion, i meant grief
many thousand apologies for making a mistake  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"False Compassion?
Are you suggesting people display fake empathy for others misfortunes?"
once again, will point out my second post on this thread where i acknowledge my mistaken use of the word compassion |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"False Compassion?
Are you suggesting people display fake empathy for others misfortunes?
once again, will point out my second post on this thread where i acknowledge my mistaken use of the word compassion"
Dont say sorry hun you have done nothing wrong at all. This is after all a PUBLIC forum and you are entitled to have an opinion either way. Right or wrong thats not your problem how others may or may not read your posts. Thats there problem not yours.
Dont say sorry just think sod you and let them move on.
And thats the only serious thought your going to get from me tonight now letts move on already and have some banter yeah. If people want to grieve let them start there own threads off and we will leave them to it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I feel compassion for anyone that tragically loses their life and you would have to be heartless to not feel anything but I don't grieve every person that dies in these tragic circumstances only people that I have known. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"To keep Fabios Fabrice Muamba thread for its original purpose i have moved my comment to a new thread.
Everyone is probably going to think i am a heartless bitch about this but more and more recently i have become aware of wave of false compassion taking over society.
is this time of 24hr, world wide news and social networking developed this? it seems every day i am being told i must feel sorry for someone tragically losing their lives, and yes of course it is a sad thing but i did not know them, if they hadnt of made the news i would never have heard of them in my life, why should i now mourn them?
life is tough eough without having to bear the weight of all this sadness"
i tried to point this out once...google grief tourism there are some very good papers by psycologists on it.
This from wiki sums up why i find it distasteful....
"Why people want to express grief over people they don't know personally is unclear. It may well be that that some individuals are very emotional and will genuinely react if the event does resonate with them in some way.[2] However, in this case, why would people not be flocking to Africa to weep for the millions dying of famine or AIDS every time a news report is shown? One possible explanation could be desensitization, that images of the poor and starving in Africa, with their bodies swarming with flies are common, while the images of middle-class children being killed are not. Another possibility is that, like with prayer, grief tourists feel the need to do something, or at least feel something, especially after viewing others on the news who are in tears because a celebrity that they had never met had just died in fairly mundane circumstances. Thus, grief tourism allows individuals to satisfy the need to do or feel something in a convenient manner."
i have actually prayed fro the Bolton footballer...knowing God can heal, as i pray when ever i hear of illness or pain. But i do not grieve, and i think it shows no respect for those who are really grieving to jump on their pain and try to claim it.
So i will join u in the heartless bitch corner...content to be self aware and in control of my emotions.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"False Compassion?
Are you suggesting people display fake empathy for others misfortunes?
once again, will point out my second post on this thread where i acknowledge my mistaken use of the word compassion"
actually i think u used the perfect word...it is false...compassion would be to see that what they feel is nothing to the friends and family of the footballer and respect them enough to acknowledge that.
Empathy is seeing someone in a hole and handing them a rope to get out, not jumping down into the hole to give them a hug |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
alot of soldiers died in wars(lets loosley define some as plainly financial/politcal agendas), a princess died in a car crash
alot of people died in 9/11
alot of people died in japans earth quake,the tsunami approx 10yrs ago
children were gunned down in scotland while at school , the anniversary of this was this week
i know where my compassion goes...i dont need to justify who i give it to, i dont have to know them
but I will not think that because it happens 'somewhere else' or to someone else, their lives mean nothing to me...I dont need to grieve for them in online dispays
and i wont change my 'status's' to reflect it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"False Compassion?
Are you suggesting people display fake empathy for others misfortunes?
once again, will point out my second post on this thread where i acknowledge my mistaken use of the word compassion
actually i think u used the perfect word...it is false...compassion would be to see that what they feel is nothing to the friends and family of the footballer and respect them enough to acknowledge that.
Empathy is seeing someone in a hole and handing them a rope to get out, not jumping down into the hole to give them a hug"
I got called out to respond to reports of two women stuck down a well shaft once. I pointed out that one of the women had a ladder in her tights so if they used there heads there would be no need for me to climb down and get mi pants all dirty.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"alot of soldiers died in wars(lets loosley define some as plainly financial/politcal agendas), a princess died in a car crash
alot of people died in 9/11
alot of people died in japans earth quake,the tsunami approx 10yrs ago
children were gunned down in scotland while at school , the anniversary of this was this week
i know where my compassion goes...i dont need to justify who i give it to, i dont have to know them
but I will not think that because it happens 'somewhere else' or to someone else, their lives mean nothing to me...I dont need to grieve for them in online dispays
and i wont change my 'status's' to reflect it"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"alot of soldiers died in wars(lets loosley define some as plainly financial/politcal agendas), a princess died in a car crash
alot of people died in 9/11
alot of people died in japans earth quake,the tsunami approx 10yrs ago
children were gunned down in scotland while at school , the anniversary of this was this week
i know where my compassion goes...i dont need to justify who i give it to, i dont have to know them
but I will not think that because it happens 'somewhere else' or to someone else, their lives mean nothing to me...I dont need to grieve for them in online dispays
and i wont change my 'status's' to reflect it"
Well said you. Now stop being so bloody serious already cos it dont suit you sir |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"alot of soldiers died in wars(lets loosley define some as plainly financial/politcal agendas), a princess died in a car crash
alot of people died in 9/11
alot of people died in japans earth quake,the tsunami approx 10yrs ago
children were gunned down in scotland while at school , the anniversary of this was this week
i know where my compassion goes...i dont need to justify who i give it to, i dont have to know them
but I will not think that because it happens 'somewhere else' or to someone else, their lives mean nothing to me...I dont need to grieve for them in online dispays
and i wont change my 'status's' to reflect it"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
"False Compassion?
Are you suggesting people display fake empathy for others misfortunes?
once again, will point out my second post on this thread where i acknowledge my mistaken use of the word compassion
Dont say sorry hun you have done nothing wrong at all. This is after all a PUBLIC forum and you are entitled to have an opinion either way. Right or wrong thats not your problem how others may or may not read your posts. Thats there problem not yours.
Dont say sorry just think sod you and let them move on.
And thats the only serious thought your going to get from me tonight now letts move on already and have some banter yeah. If people want to grieve let them start there own threads off and we will leave them to it"
as you say timbers it's a public forum.
the question was asked,and people give their opinions,that's how it works.
it would make for a boring forum,if everyone was sycophantic,with their opinions.
to answer the question.i think if you did not feel compassion/sympathy,for the starving in africa,the victims of any natural disaster etc etc.
even though i don't personally know anyone directly affected by any such events,but i do feel for the victims,and yes i think it would be a pretty heartless person,who did not. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"False Compassion?
Are you suggesting people display fake empathy for others misfortunes?
once again, will point out my second post on this thread where i acknowledge my mistaken use of the word compassion
Dont say sorry hun you have done nothing wrong at all. This is after all a PUBLIC forum and you are entitled to have an opinion either way. Right or wrong thats not your problem how others may or may not read your posts. Thats there problem not yours.
Dont say sorry just think sod you and let them move on.
And thats the only serious thought your going to get from me tonight now letts move on already and have some banter yeah. If people want to grieve let them start there own threads off and we will leave them to it
as you say timbers it's a public forum.
the question was asked,and people give their opinions,that's how it works.
it would make for a boring forum,if everyone was sycophantic,with their opinions.
to answer the question.i think if you did not feel compassion/sympathy,for the starving in africa,the victims of any natural disaster etc etc.
even though i don't personally know anyone directly affected by any such events,but i do feel for the victims,and yes i think it would be a pretty heartless person,who did not. "
I agree, it is the difference between feeling empathy for somebody you dont know and getting personally depressed and affected by that person's experience. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"False Compassion?
Are you suggesting people display fake empathy for others misfortunes?
once again, will point out my second post on this thread where i acknowledge my mistaken use of the word compassion
Dont say sorry hun you have done nothing wrong at all. This is after all a PUBLIC forum and you are entitled to have an opinion either way. Right or wrong thats not your problem how others may or may not read your posts. Thats there problem not yours.
Dont say sorry just think sod you and let them move on.
And thats the only serious thought your going to get from me tonight now letts move on already and have some banter yeah. If people want to grieve let them start there own threads off and we will leave them to it
as you say timbers it's a public forum.
the question was asked,and people give their opinions,that's how it works.
it would make for a boring forum,if everyone was sycophantic,with their opinions.
to answer the question.i think if you did not feel compassion/sympathy,for the starving in africa,the victims of any natural disaster etc etc.
even though i don't personally know anyone directly affected by any such events,but i do feel for the victims,and yes i think it would be a pretty heartless person,who did not. "
For Africa erm na I couldnt really give a toss to be honest. I did my bit by buying the Band Aid live album and then the Christmas do they no single.
They didnt get any of the money hardly that was sent as there goverment are corrupt.
Sod um its not my problem let um sort them selfs out.
Infact best thing they can do is put a ban on shaggin as for a nation full of starvin peopole they seem to muster the strengh to shag like rabbits and pop out little bambinos like shelling peas then expect the rest of the world to feed them lol fuck that right off |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"alot of soldiers died in wars(lets loosley define some as plainly financial/politcal agendas), a princess died in a car crash
alot of people died in 9/11
alot of people died in japans earth quake,the tsunami approx 10yrs ago
children were gunned down in scotland while at school , the anniversary of this was this week
i know where my compassion goes...i dont need to justify who i give it to, i dont have to know them
but I will not think that because it happens 'somewhere else' or to someone else, their lives mean nothing to me...I dont need to grieve for them in online dispays
and i wont change my 'status's' to reflect it
Well said you. Now stop being so bloody serious already cos it dont suit you sir "
dont worry timbers, am on the hunt for another shag the nite...just passing through lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
There is nothing wrong with thinking about the people themselves or the families left behind after a tragedy even if you don't know them personally.
If that makes me false in some peoples eyes......I can live with that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"False Compassion?
Are you suggesting people display fake empathy for others misfortunes?
once again, will point out my second post on this thread where i acknowledge my mistaken use of the word compassion
Dont say sorry hun you have done nothing wrong at all. This is after all a PUBLIC forum and you are entitled to have an opinion either way. Right or wrong thats not your problem how others may or may not read your posts. Thats there problem not yours.
Dont say sorry just think sod you and let them move on.
And thats the only serious thought your going to get from me tonight now letts move on already and have some banter yeah. If people want to grieve let them start there own threads off and we will leave them to it
as you say timbers it's a public forum.
the question was asked,and people give their opinions,that's how it works.
it would make for a boring forum,if everyone was sycophantic,with their opinions.
to answer the question.i think if you did not feel compassion/sympathy,for the starving in africa,the victims of any natural disaster etc etc.
even though i don't personally know anyone directly affected by any such events,but i do feel for the victims,and yes i think it would be a pretty heartless person,who did not.
For Africa erm na I couldnt really give a toss to be honest. I did my bit by buying the Band Aid live album and then the Christmas do they no single.
They didnt get any of the money hardly that was sent as there goverment are corrupt.
Sod um its not my problem let um sort them selfs out.
Infact best thing they can do is put a ban on shaggin as for a nation full of starvin peopole they seem to muster the strengh to shag like rabbits and pop out little bambinos like shelling peas then expect the rest of the world to feed them lol fuck that right off"
i do believe procreation is survival, we might someday have the same issues ie drastic global change...people end up 'breeding' to survive and carry on the genes
excuse me while i pinch my clones sperm count |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"False Compassion?
Are you suggesting people display fake empathy for others misfortunes?
once again, will point out my second post on this thread where i acknowledge my mistaken use of the word compassion
Dont say sorry hun you have done nothing wrong at all. This is after all a PUBLIC forum and you are entitled to have an opinion either way. Right or wrong thats not your problem how others may or may not read your posts. Thats there problem not yours.
Dont say sorry just think sod you and let them move on.
And thats the only serious thought your going to get from me tonight now letts move on already and have some banter yeah. If people want to grieve let them start there own threads off and we will leave them to it
as you say timbers it's a public forum.
the question was asked,and people give their opinions,that's how it works.
it would make for a boring forum,if everyone was sycophantic,with their opinions.
to answer the question.i think if you did not feel compassion/sympathy,for the starving in africa,the victims of any natural disaster etc etc.
even though i don't personally know anyone directly affected by any such events,but i do feel for the victims,and yes i think it would be a pretty heartless person,who did not. I agree, it is the difference between feeling empathy for somebody you dont know and getting personally depressed and affected by that person's experience."
Exactly and grief is therefore not the emotion to be feeling, for your own mental health if nothing else |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"To keep Fabios Fabrice Muamba thread for its original purpose i have moved my comment to a new thread.
Everyone is probably going to think i am a heartless bitch about this but more and more recently i have become aware of wave of false compassion taking over society.
is this time of 24hr, world wide news and social networking developed this? it seems every day i am being told i must feel sorry for someone tragically losing their lives, and yes of course it is a sad thing but i did not know them, if they hadnt of made the news i would never have heard of them in my life, why should i now mourn them?
life is tough eough without having to bear the weight of all this sadness
i tried to point this out once...google grief tourism there are some very good papers by psycologists on it.
This from wiki sums up why i find it distasteful....
"Why people want to express grief over people they don't know personally is unclear. It may well be that that some individuals are very emotional and will genuinely react if the event does resonate with them in some way.[2] However, in this case, why would people not be flocking to Africa to weep for the millions dying of famine or AIDS every time a news report is shown? One possible explanation could be desensitization, that images of the poor and starving in Africa, with their bodies swarming with flies are common, while the images of middle-class children being killed are not. Another possibility is that, like with prayer, grief tourists feel the need to do something, or at least feel something, especially after viewing others on the news who are in tears because a celebrity that they had never met had just died in fairly mundane circumstances. Thus, grief tourism allows individuals to satisfy the need to do or feel something in a convenient manner."
i have actually prayed fro the Bolton footballer...knowing God can heal, as i pray when ever i hear of illness or pain. But i do not grieve, and i think it shows no respect for those who are really grieving to jump on their pain and try to claim it.
So i will join u in the heartless bitch corner...content to be self aware and in control of my emotions.
"
i'm glad someone gets it!!
as i said in my OP i feel sad at the news of loss of life but some people literaly fall over themselves to sho how much they feel sorry for them
yes i care about people starving, its why i give to charity when i can (elieve it of not i did a few 24hr famines when i was school )
yes i care about soldiers who have died in wars, i just dont trawl the web to find their names and post it all over facebook saying people should feel loss for them! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
more people seemed to care about a scottish football manager dying(quite naturally)in early 2000's,than most of the combined deaths of some of the more recent subjects of 'mourning' I've suggested
I find it ridiculous |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
Grief is a very personal thing, there is no right or wrong really. All I am saying is that grieving, as in becoming seriously affected by the death of a celebrety for example Princess Di, should perhaps look at why they are grieving this much - it may not be over that event but more over something else that happened in their own life where they did not allow themselves to grieve. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"To keep Fabios Fabrice Muamba thread for its original purpose i have moved my comment to a new thread.
Everyone is probably going to think i am a heartless bitch about this but more and more recently i have become aware of wave of false compassion taking over society.
is this time of 24hr, world wide news and social networking developed this? it seems every day i am being told i must feel sorry for someone tragically losing their lives, and yes of course it is a sad thing but i did not know them, if they hadnt of made the news i would never have heard of them in my life, why should i now mourn them?
life is tough eough without having to bear the weight of all this sadness
i tried to point this out once...google grief tourism there are some very good papers by psycologists on it.
This from wiki sums up why i find it distasteful....
"Why people want to express grief over people they don't know personally is unclear. It may well be that that some individuals are very emotional and will genuinely react if the event does resonate with them in some way.[2] However, in this case, why would people not be flocking to Africa to weep for the millions dying of famine or AIDS every time a news report is shown? One possible explanation could be desensitization, that images of the poor and starving in Africa, with their bodies swarming with flies are common, while the images of middle-class children being killed are not. Another possibility is that, like with prayer, grief tourists feel the need to do something, or at least feel something, especially after viewing others on the news who are in tears because a celebrity that they had never met had just died in fairly mundane circumstances. Thus, grief tourism allows individuals to satisfy the need to do or feel something in a convenient manner."
i have actually prayed fro the Bolton footballer...knowing God can heal, as i pray when ever i hear of illness or pain. But i do not grieve, and i think it shows no respect for those who are really grieving to jump on their pain and try to claim it.
So i will join u in the heartless bitch corner...content to be self aware and in control of my emotions.
i'm glad someone gets it!!
as i said in my OP i feel sad at the news of loss of life but some people literaly fall over themselves to sho how much they feel sorry for them
yes i care about people starving, its why i give to charity when i can (elieve it of not i did a few 24hr famines when i was school )
yes i care about soldiers who have died in wars, i just dont trawl the web to find their names and post it all over facebook saying people should feel loss for them!"
Or on your swinging profile...that just gets me everytime i see it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Grief is a very personal thing, there is no right or wrong really. All I am saying is that grieving, as in becoming seriously affected by the death of a celebrety for example Princess Di, should perhaps look at why they are grieving this much - it may not be over that event but more over something else that happened in their own life where they did not allow themselves to grieve."
or its just a way of saying those who are better than us deserve some more compassion trough their deaths...sorry, I'm very anti-celebrity and even more anti-celebrity death respect.
the only people i really think of is those affected by natural disasters or major accidents...that generally happen in their moments of innocence
and in respect of anyones opinions on soldiers, i do come from a soldier family background, I agree its sad to see them die and the effect on the families...but they are there doing a job/lifestyle(again i question WHY some are in places)...
I cant equate the above to sitting in ur office space and a airplane smashing through the window,a giant tsunami,being gunned down in primary school, being tied up molested raped tortured by a sadistic sick pair
I'll mourn innocence(of age or situation) in its many forms above all else |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"
I'll mourn innocence(of age or situation) in its many forms above all else"
For me personally, I would agree with that and I am thinking of e.g. Jamie Bulger many years ago, the children of Dunblane and those killed in the tragic coach crash. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
kind of agree with OP.
i dont feel compassion for others generally as, like has been said, i dont know them, and i really didnt give a flying one about 9/11.
i think, for me anyway, its more empathy as you can feel how others may feel about the situation. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"False Compassion?
Are you suggesting people display fake empathy for others misfortunes?
once again, will point out my second post on this thread where i acknowledge my mistaken use of the word compassion
Dont say sorry hun you have done nothing wrong at all. This is after all a PUBLIC forum and you are entitled to have an opinion either way. Right or wrong thats not your problem how others may or may not read your posts. Thats there problem not yours.
Dont say sorry just think sod you and let them move on.
And thats the only serious thought your going to get from me tonight now letts move on already and have some banter yeah. If people want to grieve let them start there own threads off and we will leave them to it
as you say timbers it's a public forum.
the question was asked,and people give their opinions,that's how it works.
it would make for a boring forum,if everyone was sycophantic,with their opinions.
to answer the question.i think if you did not feel compassion/sympathy,for the starving in africa,the victims of any natural disaster etc etc.
even though i don't personally know anyone directly affected by any such events,but i do feel for the victims,and yes i think it would be a pretty heartless person,who did not.
For Africa erm na I couldnt really give a toss to be honest. I did my bit by buying the Band Aid live album and then the Christmas do they no single.
They didnt get any of the money hardly that was sent as there goverment are corrupt.
Sod um its not my problem let um sort them selfs out.
Infact best thing they can do is put a ban on shaggin as for a nation full of starvin peopole they seem to muster the strengh to shag like rabbits and pop out little bambinos like shelling peas then expect the rest of the world to feed them lol fuck that right off"
+1 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
wow at some viewpoints,
'Glad it was them and not me'
minute it could happen on ur doorstep...am sure its U who wil be wondering why others can be so dismissive of ur pain.
reap that FFS! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"wow at some viewpoints,
'Glad it was them and not me'
minute it could happen on ur doorstep...am sure its U who wil be wondering why others can be so dismissive of ur pain.
reap that FFS!"
being honest, the reason i didnt care about 9/11 was because my nan had died 2 days beforehand.
would my opinion have changed if not? who knows. but i can tell you i really really didnt care. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"wow at some viewpoints,
'Glad it was them and not me'
minute it could happen on ur doorstep...am sure its U who wil be wondering why others can be so dismissive of ur pain.
reap that FFS!
being honest, the reason i didnt care about 9/11 was because my nan had died 2 days beforehand.
would my opinion have changed if not? who knows. but i can tell you i really really didnt care."
I'm sorry for that, but someone far away may have also cared about ur situation was.
And if people want to start talking about 3rd world countries aid etc, maybe they can actually sound like ts being directed not to those simply trying to maintain their race/bloodline and actually direct it to those abusing the power...everyone knows africa etc have money...its who uses that power to fend for themselves.Its not the everyday people struggling for life that some of the above comments should be directed at.
I'm not asking people do donate aid etc, as I dont myself...but I have a concept of humanity...that isnt about 'them' in another countries...as the case of 'them' could be easily someone next door etc
I realy dont care for peoples opinions on issues regarding who deserves more recognition to be mourned, bu I dont think its above peoples basic regard for other humans,or animals to see them suffer or have little tolerance or knowledge to what their plight is.
being grateful it isnt happeing to u or someone close isnt a thing to be guilty of, but condemming others to...'others' status is the real reason why the world can be horrible and disgusting.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I kind of understand. I feel for Muamba because I have seen him play and have great admiration for him as a person and player. However, if you take the recent killings in Afghanistan by that US soldier. My reaction is completely different. Although I am able to appreciate the tragedy of it all. My initial response was outrage at the US military for their failure to take care of the mental welfare of one of their troops. My first thoughts should have been for the people that died and their families. However, it is simply harder to empathise with people who you know nothing about. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It might be genuine compassion though.. Just because you don't feel it, it doesn't mean they don't.
But I somewhat agree as I don't care what happens to anyone outside if my family "
i wouldnt go that far, there are many people in my life i care about thats not in my family, but i also have to agree i cant feel genuine sadness about someone i dont know
Ok sometimes you will think, oh thats a shame and feel a little sad about certain situations but lets be honest its not going to be life changing if someone you never knew is on the news for loosing their life |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It might be genuine compassion though.. Just because you don't feel it, it doesn't mean they don't.
But I somewhat agree as I don't care what happens to anyone outside if my family
i wouldnt go that far, there are many people in my life i care about thats not in my family, but i also have to agree i cant feel genuine sadness about someone i dont know
Ok sometimes you will think, oh thats a shame and feel a little sad about certain situations but lets be honest its not going to be life changing if someone you never knew is on the news for loosing their life"
I posted something personal last week...with no intent of it being a lookatmethread(everyone knows im modest).......
I was crying seeing a friend(one ive not met and not from fab), if U cant look into someones eyes nd see a senseless act(of man or 'god'), can u seriously look at other people close to u and have the selfish gene saying...thank fuck it wasnt me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *waymanMan
over a year ago
newcastle |
"If it doesn't involve me and mine then usually it doesn't bother me.
Ask any parent (myself included) not to be touched in some way by the Belgian bus crash and you can't help but feel for them and the families.
We are all different and have different feelings about certain situations, so somebody, somewhere will connect with a catastrophy or what they consider serious to them personally.
I do agree that there are a lot crocodile tears these days over little or nothing though."
I can empathize with the parents of the bus crash victims; I can be grateful that I am not in their position. But like the OP I think there's something overblown, false and worthless about public over-reactions and the way the media pick and choose who should be mourned, or praised, or recorded as worthy.
Hundreds of thousands of people appear to be having a collective orgy of emotion on the interweb over a poorly footballer - most of them didn't give a flying fuck when the same thing happened to Rhys Thomas a few months ago in training, and they lack the insight to realize that there is more going on in the world than whatever they happen to notice at the moment.
And don't even get me started on the people who attach flowers to lampposts as if re-creating the gygpsy boy's grave is some kind of creditable or worthwhile way of flaunting their grief in public.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
That's compassion to Mulumbu. 