FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > The Real You
The Real You
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Most of us have a range of versions of ourselves, we change our behaviour depending on the company.
For example I act differently at work than I do with my parents and different still to how I act with friends.
My question is when, if ever, do you feel most like the "real" you, do you ever let your barriers down completely and just be yourself? What makes or stops that from happening? |
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I definitely have different faces for different situations
I say I have the following faces :-
- Mother
- family
- work colleagues
- friends, different depending on the person and what I deem is appropriate to them
- meets
I would say the truest to the real me is meets then friends, as I can truly just be myself
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I'd agree with Spurs, I definitely have different facets depending on the situation and where I find it easier to show all of me would be with my close friends and partner. I'm not sure I can adequately describe what helps me to be all of me with others. A certain sense of comfortableness and knowledge that all of me is accepted, allowed and appreciated. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m always myself. Sometimes I’m more reserved, or shy, but it’s still me. I don’t put on faces which can be a negative I suppose as it’s just all there wherever I am at  . - Mrs. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think we are just who we are....we certainly don't put on a persona in different situations."
I'm not sure it's a conscious thing though, our behaviour is just modified depending on the audience. I say things in front of my friends I'd never say in front of my parents for example.
They're all versions of ourselves, I just wondered when the unfiltered one comes out. |
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By *ammyDodgaMan
over a year ago
Nottingham/and everywhere my location says i am ;) |
Spent a lifetime wearing masks and it gets so tiring that I decided a few years back that everonw gets the same and accepted the fact I’m
https://youtu.be/MjufrmE7GY8 
Seriously though, think the only time the real me comes out, is with those who have been with you through the hard times and require nothing from you, except you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its only in the last year iv been comfortable enough to just let go and realise my potential
I like it"
forgot to add only 1 maybe 2 people know the real me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Still trying to work that out tbh. My work persona is very alpha, at home I'm more reserved and sometimes introverted, with friends I'm probably a mixture of the two.
Who knows....
Interesting question OP
 |
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"I think we are just who we are....we certainly don't put on a persona in different situations.
I'm not sure it's a conscious thing though, our behaviour is just modified depending on the audience. I say things in front of my friends I'd never say in front of my parents for example.
They're all versions of ourselves, I just wondered when the unfiltered one comes out. "
My parents (Flik) are outrageous and there's nothing I could say that would shock them...more likely to be the other way around but we've always been open with each other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think we are just who we are....we certainly don't put on a persona in different situations.
I'm not sure it's a conscious thing though, our behaviour is just modified depending on the audience. I say things in front of my friends I'd never say in front of my parents for example.
They're all versions of ourselves, I just wondered when the unfiltered one comes out.
My parents (Flik) are outrageous and there's nothing I could say that would shock them...more likely to be the other way around but we've always been open with each other."
My kids & I are wonderfully open with each other ... sometimes probably way too much plus they've grown up with me so are mostly unsociable! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm always me....how I present to others depends on context, usually around professional, family, or personal situations.
The me doesn't change, yet don't we all adapt to fit into our surroundings and sometimes others expectations of us?
While presentation may change those things and feelings that make me human, they remain the same, or at least I hope they do....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think life is too short to change how you act around different people or situations. Either take me as i am or dont let the door hit you on the arse on your way out! |
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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
"Most of us have a range of versions of ourselves, we change our behaviour depending on the company.
For example I act differently at work than I do with my parents and different still to how I act with friends.
My question is when, if ever, do you feel most like the "real" you, do you ever let your barriers down completely and just be yourself? What makes or stops that from happening? "
When I am with my man, especially when we are on a relaxing holiday, away from pressures and stresses. |
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When am I me?
When I sit alone on the moor, watching the clouds make shadows on the hillside as they chase across the sky. It is only then that I see the world and know my place in it.
I know that the valleys of my mind are as misted as the hidden valleys of the moor, and at their deepest runs a silvered stream rushing to be somewhere.
I know that my heart is often as open and yet as barren as the landscape spread before me, sometimes chilled by the harsh words of others as the the wind that stings my eyes, tousles the moorland grass
I know that I can be as strong as the granite tors that look down upon me or as soft as the mire that can trap my feet. I know that I can be both kind and dangerous, ugly and beautiful, I know that I am either or neither. Something or nothing. But perhaps most of all I know that I am both significant and insignificant. Alone on the moor, I am just another beating heart, another animal lost in deep thought, out there, down off the moor, the world accelerates and trip-turns with each passing hour, but on the moor I can be timeless |
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By *oppet22TV/TS
over a year ago
huddersfield |
Am the real me when dressed female as at work and around family I have to be strong and take charge I feel relaxed when dressed as no pressure to be something am not at work at time have to be nasty if work not getting done as am in charge of department all men and family would not speak to me if they know I dressed and was bi |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am what I am, tried to please people for many years, then thought fuck it! I'm not happy being an actress. Everyone gets me now. If you don't like carry on I'll take no offence. Only 1 person knows all of me truly, that's the good bad ugly and pissed. Some parts I hide for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me and B had a very similar conversation the day before yesterday.
We all have different sides to us, but hopefully they all combine in some way and overlap.
Of course I'm not gonna whip my baps out and talk about sex at work or in front of my kid or dad, but I still have the same sense of humour, randomness, weaknesses, strengths, morals and values.
The core of me is still me.
I shan't and won't live like a secret agent with multiple identities and none of them alike.
As someone said earlier, I think you're the "most you" with those who've seen you at your worst, as you've no desire to impress as such. You know they're there for YOU, the core of you, your soul.
P
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
I was thinking something around this last night; I’m not sure sometimes which *is* the real me. I often don’t feel very me with others but an extension of their own conversation/ persona / need. But it was late, and alcohol has been consumed and I was alone.
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was thinking something around this last night; I’m not sure sometimes which *is* the real me. I often don’t feel very me with others but an extension of their own conversation/ persona / need. But it was late, and alcohol has been consumed and I was alone.
"
I thought about it sober  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm the real me when I'm relaxing with family. I can just be who I am with no judgement
I would also say with my fwb too. He knows all my sides including when I'm being a total knob or stressing unnecessarily about things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I still put on a front depending on company but i would say over the last few years ive been more real then ever as ive learnt to drop my filters in most situations except maybe work as i would like to keep my job |
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"All the facets are the real me. Just me in different circumstances.
"
This is closest to me I think! All parts of me are me, it's not putting on a different face in different circumstances, rather that different parts come to the fore. The only person who knows all the parts is Mr
Mrs TMN x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical analysis so I do think that we expose different facettes of ourselves depending on who we enteract with.
I guess my true self is when I am alone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical analysis so I do think that we expose different facettes of ourselves depending on who we enteract with.
I guess my true self is when I am alone "
deep man deep |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical analysis so I do think that we expose different facettes of ourselves depending on who we enteract with.
I guess my true self is when I am alone deep man deep"
I'd hope that shit I have googled will help me to fuck a sappiofile ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am a firm believer of Goffman's dramaturgical analysis so I do think that we expose different facettes of ourselves depending on who we enteract with.
I guess my true self is when I am alone deep man deep
I'd hope that shit I have googled will help me to fuck a sappiofile ! "
i think it might just do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most of us have a range of versions of ourselves, we change our behaviour depending on the company.
For example I act differently at work than I do with my parents and different still to how I act with friends.
My question is when, if ever, do you feel most like the "real" you, do you ever let your barriers down completely and just be yourself? What makes or stops that from happening? "
I'm always the real me what you get is what you see and hear  |
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I'm increasingly confident being degrees of myself in most situations. It used to be that I had various masks, but it's exhausting. Now it's sort of, I've got a volume mixer and I emphasise different parts.
I only bring out the masks with very difficult people. |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
Great question!
I (he) even at home would say I'm 99% the real me, I still keep a bit back for me. Work wise about 60%. Butter wouldn't melt etc but that's how I like it when it comes to work colleagues, they don't know me, only in a work capacity.
Only 100% me when I'm alone.  |
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I am basically me all the time but have to act differently in certain situations for example I work with vulnerable people so I have to be careful on what I say and how I say it so as not to offend or appear patronising.
With family (kids, mum and siblings and their kids) I am the organiser and the go to person.
I have different groups of friends and I am mostly the same with each of them. Some I am more proactive in organising nights out and in others I wait till they organise things.
Don’t think I am ever false except when I don’t like someone but don’t want to offend then I try hard to be nice and if need be put sunglasses on so they can’t see the expression in my eyes  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My parents dont know me
My gran know nobody
My kids see a lot of real me
Siblings least of all
Mates nope
My best mate knows me
But the girl i refer to from time to time knows me most not 1 argument in all this time never had that so il take that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am basically me all the time but have to act differently in certain situations for example I work with vulnerable people so I have to be careful on what I say and how I say it so as not to offend or appear patronising.
With family (kids, mum and siblings and their kids) I am the organiser and the go to person.
I have different groups of friends and I am mostly the same with each of them. Some I am more proactive in organising nights out and in others I wait till they organise things.
Don’t think I am ever false except when I don’t like someone but don’t want to offend then I try hard to be nice and if need be put sunglasses on so they can’t see the expression in my eyes "
I should have read you’re post before I posted. I agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nah, im just myself all the time. Its a revelation not to put masks
So you speak to your parents exactly the same way you speak to your mates ?"
Yep, sounds strange but yeah. My family isnt a posh one. We enjoy a laugh as much as anyone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nah, im just myself all the time. Its a revelation not to put masks
So you speak to your parents exactly the same way you speak to your mates ?
Yep, sounds strange but yeah. My family isnt a posh one. We enjoy a laugh as much as anyone else. "
That’s good If it’s like that but nothing to do with being posh. My parents know me better than anyone but there are certain things they won’t understand so I don’t put them on an uncomfortable situation x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nah, im just myself all the time. Its a revelation not to put masks
So you speak to your parents exactly the same way you speak to your mates ?"
Do you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nah, im just myself all the time. Its a revelation not to put masks
So you speak to your parents exactly the same way you speak to your mates ?
Yep, sounds strange but yeah. My family isnt a posh one. We enjoy a laugh as much as anyone else.
That’s good If it’s like that but nothing to do with being posh. My parents know me better than anyone but there are certain things they won’t understand so I don’t put them on an uncomfortable situation x"
My parents know I'm on here. They might not approve but I speak freely it if that's what you re referring to . And yeah, posh was related. I'm sure prince doesnt speak like he speaks to his mates to the queen ;P |
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"Most of us have a range of versions of ourselves, we change our behaviour depending on the company.
For example I act differently at work than I do with my parents and different still to how I act with friends.
My question is when, if ever, do you feel most like the "real" you, do you ever let your barriers down completely and just be yourself? What makes or stops that from happening? "
Professional at work
Me at home and with close friends
Daughter and what my parents expect of me
Fab what I want people to see
Fan dates? Depends on the level of trust |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nah, im just myself all the time. Its a revelation not to put masks
So you speak to your parents exactly the same way you speak to your mates ?
Yep, sounds strange but yeah. My family isnt a posh one. We enjoy a laugh as much as anyone else.
That’s good If it’s like that but nothing to do with being posh. My parents know me better than anyone but there are certain things they won’t understand so I don’t put them on an uncomfortable situation x
My parents know I'm on here. They might not approve but I speak freely it if that's what you re referring to. And yeah, posh was related. I'm sure prince doesnt speak like he speaks to his mates to the queen ;P"
That’s cool mate I’m not judging, everyone to their own, it’s just something I’d rather not tell my parents. We all have opinions that’s why we’re on a forum no one is right and no one is wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nah, im just myself all the time. Its a revelation not to put masks
So you speak to your parents exactly the same way you speak to your mates ?
Yep, sounds strange but yeah. My family isnt a posh one. We enjoy a laugh as much as anyone else.
That’s good If it’s like that but nothing to do with being posh. My parents know me better than anyone but there are certain things they won’t understand so I don’t put them on an uncomfortable situation x
My parents know I'm on here. They might not approve but I speak freely it if that's what you re referring to. And yeah, posh was related. I'm sure prince doesnt speak like he speaks to his mates to the queen ;P
That’s cool mate I’m not judging, everyone to their own, it’s just something I’d rather not tell my parents. We all have opinions that’s why we’re on a forum no one is right and no one is wrong "
Of course  I like a good debate ahahah |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nah, im just myself all the time. Its a revelation not to put masks
So you speak to your parents exactly the same way you speak to your mates ?
Yep, sounds strange but yeah. My family isnt a posh one. We enjoy a laugh as much as anyone else.
That’s good If it’s like that but nothing to do with being posh. My parents know me better than anyone but there are certain things they won’t understand so I don’t put them on an uncomfortable situation x
My parents know I'm on here. They might not approve but I speak freely it if that's what you re referring to. And yeah, posh was related. I'm sure prince doesnt speak like he speaks to his mates to the queen ;P
That’s cool mate I’m not judging, everyone to their own, it’s just something I’d rather not tell my parents. We all have opinions that’s why we’re on a forum no one is right and no one is wrong
Of course I like a good debate ahahah "
You do realise that you’re wrong though? |
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"I sometimes wonder if GMF and the real me are actually alike?
Albeit, I'm rather fond of the sometimes pompous and self indulgent flirt of a guy..."
I’d say the two of you have similarities but are not alike. You play the forum (and the ladies) as GMF but, I’m sure the ‘real’ you is perhaps somewhat less arrogant or pompous and perhaps a little less of a bounder in person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I sometimes wonder if GMF and the real me are actually alike?
Albeit, I'm rather fond of the sometimes pompous and self indulgent flirt of a guy...
I’d say the two of you have similarities but are not alike. You play the forum (and the ladies) as GMF but, I’m sure the ‘real’ you is perhaps somewhat less arrogant or pompous and perhaps a little less of a bounder in person. "
thankyou |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nah, im just myself all the time. Its a revelation not to put masks
So you speak to your parents exactly the same way you speak to your mates ?
Yep, sounds strange but yeah. My family isnt a posh one. We enjoy a laugh as much as anyone else.
That’s good If it’s like that but nothing to do with being posh. My parents know me better than anyone but there are certain things they won’t understand so I don’t put them on an uncomfortable situation x
My parents know I'm on here. They might not approve but I speak freely it if that's what you re referring to. And yeah, posh was related. I'm sure prince doesnt speak like he speaks to his mates to the queen ;P
That’s cool mate I’m not judging, everyone to their own, it’s just something I’d rather not tell my parents. We all have opinions that’s why we’re on a forum no one is right and no one is wrong
Of course I like a good debate ahahah
You do realise that you’re wrong though? "
I d agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I sometimes wonder if GMF and the real me are actually alike?
Albeit, I'm rather fond of the sometimes pompous and self indulgent flirt of a guy...
I’d say the two of you have similarities but are not alike. You play the forum (and the ladies) as GMF but, I’m sure the ‘real’ you is perhaps somewhat less arrogant or pompous and perhaps a little less of a bounder in person. "
I'm a rebounder |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nah, im just myself all the time. Its a revelation not to put masks
So you speak to your parents exactly the same way you speak to your mates ?
Yep, sounds strange but yeah. My family isnt a posh one. We enjoy a laugh as much as anyone else.
That’s good If it’s like that but nothing to do with being posh. My parents know me better than anyone but there are certain things they won’t understand so I don’t put them on an uncomfortable situation x
My parents know I'm on here. They might not approve but I speak freely it if that's what you re referring to. And yeah, posh was related. I'm sure prince doesnt speak like he speaks to his mates to the queen ;P
That’s cool mate I’m not judging, everyone to their own, it’s just something I’d rather not tell my parents. We all have opinions that’s why we’re on a forum no one is right and no one is wrong
Of course I like a good debate ahahah
You do realise that you’re wrong though?
I d agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong "
I’ve already accepted I’m wrong regularly  |
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"I sometimes wonder if GMF and the real me are actually alike?
Albeit, I'm rather fond of the sometimes pompous and self indulgent flirt of a guy...
I’d say the two of you have similarities but are not alike. You play the forum (and the ladies) as GMF but, I’m sure the ‘real’ you is perhaps somewhat less arrogant or pompous and perhaps a little less of a bounder in person. thankyou "
Huh? Why did that apply to you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nah, im just myself all the time. Its a revelation not to put masks
So you speak to your parents exactly the same way you speak to your mates ?
Yep, sounds strange but yeah. My family isnt a posh one. We enjoy a laugh as much as anyone else.
That’s good If it’s like that but nothing to do with being posh. My parents know me better than anyone but there are certain things they won’t understand so I don’t put them on an uncomfortable situation x
My parents know I'm on here. They might not approve but I speak freely it if that's what you re referring to. And yeah, posh was related. I'm sure prince doesnt speak like he speaks to his mates to the queen ;P
That’s cool mate I’m not judging, everyone to their own, it’s just something I’d rather not tell my parents. We all have opinions that’s why we’re on a forum no one is right and no one is wrong
Of course I like a good debate ahahah
You do realise that you’re wrong though?
I d agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong
I’ve already accepted I’m wrong regularly "
Ditto ahahaha , unless we are debating weather buffalo mozzarella is better than the normal one...you d be 100% wrong xD ahaha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I sometimes wonder if GMF and the real me are actually alike?
Albeit, I'm rather fond of the sometimes pompous and self indulgent flirt of a guy...
I’d say the two of you have similarities but are not alike. You play the forum (and the ladies) as GMF but, I’m sure the ‘real’ you is perhaps somewhat less arrogant or pompous and perhaps a little less of a bounder in person. thankyou
Huh? Why did that apply to you?"
everything can be applied to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nah, im just myself all the time. Its a revelation not to put masks
So you speak to your parents exactly the same way you speak to your mates ?
Yep, sounds strange but yeah. My family isnt a posh one. We enjoy a laugh as much as anyone else.
That’s good If it’s like that but nothing to do with being posh. My parents know me better than anyone but there are certain things they won’t understand so I don’t put them on an uncomfortable situation x
My parents know I'm on here. They might not approve but I speak freely it if that's what you re referring to. And yeah, posh was related. I'm sure prince doesnt speak like he speaks to his mates to the queen ;P
That’s cool mate I’m not judging, everyone to their own, it’s just something I’d rather not tell my parents. We all have opinions that’s why we’re on a forum no one is right and no one is wrong
Of course I like a good debate ahahah
You do realise that you’re wrong though?
I d agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong
I’ve already accepted I’m wrong regularly
Ditto ahahaha , unless we are debating weather buffalo mozzarella is better than the normal one...you d be 100% wrong xD ahaha"
I just like having a laugh, we all have different tastes and interests it takes an arrogant individual to think it’s only what they think that matters, so thanks for the sense of humour |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nah, im just myself all the time. Its a revelation not to put masks
So you speak to your parents exactly the same way you speak to your mates ?
Yep, sounds strange but yeah. My family isnt a posh one. We enjoy a laugh as much as anyone else.
That’s good If it’s like that but nothing to do with being posh. My parents know me better than anyone but there are certain things they won’t understand so I don’t put them on an uncomfortable situation x
My parents know I'm on here. They might not approve but I speak freely it if that's what you re referring to. And yeah, posh was related. I'm sure prince doesnt speak like he speaks to his mates to the queen ;P
That’s cool mate I’m not judging, everyone to their own, it’s just something I’d rather not tell my parents. We all have opinions that’s why we’re on a forum no one is right and no one is wrong
Of course I like a good debate ahahah
You do realise that you’re wrong though?
I d agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong
I’ve already accepted I’m wrong regularly
Ditto ahahaha , unless we are debating weather buffalo mozzarella is better than the normal one...you d be 100% wrong xD ahaha
I just like having a laugh, we all have different tastes and interests it takes an arrogant individual to think it’s only what they think that matters, so thanks for the sense of humour "
We re all here for some good times, whoever wants the opposite can go, right there ahaha
Thanks for the humor too )) have cool evening pal |
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