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Tweets from history

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By *layfullsam OP Man over a year ago

Solihull

For one moment let's pretend that twitter has been around for ever.

What kind of tweets would have been made ?

@i.newton

ffs, that hurt my head

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By *orenzoVonMatterhornMan over a year ago

Lincoln

Off to the opera, should be a great night.

- TheAbrahamLincoln

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By *layfullsam OP Man over a year ago

Solihull

@kingH

Stupid Normans will never hit me from that distance

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

@D.Cameron

Fuck off! No one's gonna vote to leave....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@titanicpassenger

I'd love a bit of ice in my drink.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

@PompeiiSpaAttendant

You hear a rumble ?

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By *eviant KnightMan over a year ago

Norton

@MLKing

Speech time #ihaveadream #dream #americandream #washington #dc #dreamer

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What more is there for me to learn about mathematics and science, I want to sit under this apple tree and watch the ladies go by

-isaac_cambs

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By *urning the kinkMan over a year ago

bristol

@rod hull

The roof doesn't look slippery

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By *ensualbicockMan over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

"@rod hull

The roof doesn't look slippery

Emu well pushed him

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

@EnglandNFT66

This final feels like it’s never going to end...

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By *layfullsam OP Man over a year ago

Solihull

"@kingH

Stupid Normans will never hit me from that distance"

Later on

@kingH

Me and my big mouth, feck that hurts

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By *urning the kinkMan over a year ago

bristol

"@rod hull

The roof doesn't look slippery

Emu well pushed him

Do you blame him.

Poor bird got fisted most of his life

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By *ensualbicockMan over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

"@rod hull

The roof doesn't look slippery

Emu well pushed him

Do you blame him.

Poor bird got fisted most of his life

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@vangogh

Reading tweets is so much easier than lip reading.

#wishidkeptmyear

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By *layfullsam OP Man over a year ago

Solihull

@winstonC

Come over hear @adolfH if you think your hard enough

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By *ensualbicockMan over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

@challenger shuttle

I'll snapchat you when i get there

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By *easidegirlWoman over a year ago

south shore

@neil Armstrong

'Sorry guys it was all fake'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@JFK40125

Nice day for a drive with the roof down

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By *ensualbicockMan over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

@Aryton Senna

Can we use our phones while dri..................

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By *cgkcCouple over a year ago

Hitchin

From @TheQueenVic

@DiePrinceAlbert Faf? #amused

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

@•¥¥QueenCleopatra¥¥•

OMG Carpet Burns are the worst lolz

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

Our Woodworking skillz be cray cray

#suprise! #presents #horse #Greece

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"@•¥¥QueenCleopatra¥¥•

OMG Carpet Burns are the worst lolz

@•¥¥QueenCleopatra¥¥•

Bathing in milk is awesome at soothing dem burnz tho!

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

"@•¥¥QueenCleopatra¥¥•

OMG Carpet Burns are the worst lolz

@•¥¥QueenCleopatra¥¥•

Bathing in milk is awesome at soothing dem burnz tho! "

True dat!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Off to the opera, should be a great night.

- TheAbrahamLincoln"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Who knew having a rib removed could cause so much fucking grief?

@AdamThe1st

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By *ensualbicockMan over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

@Moon landing

Neil won paper, scissors , stone and gets to step outside first

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just invented the telephone. DM me for my digitz.

@AlGrayBell

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@KingH

Ow, my eye.

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By *eviant KnightMan over a year ago

Norton

@JesusChrist

I'm back bitches!!!

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By *ensualbicockMan over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

"@JesusChrist

I'm back bitches!!! "

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By *r_RobertMan over a year ago

Dagenham

@WiggyVanBeethoven

Orchestra taking the piss again by playing and talking too quietly #notfunnyguys

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"@JesusChrist

I'm back bitches!!! "

#Eastereggs4all

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"@neil Armstrong

'Sorry guys it was all fake'"

'Just joking, though it is cheese, like edam'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@churchill_winston

Told you what would happen @AdolfH, we fought you on the beaches and never surrendered

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@freddiestar

A little boney but with a bit of brown sauce I could have another one

#hamstermeat #downinone

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By *r_RobertMan over a year ago

Dagenham

@TheRealLazarus

#YOLO

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By *ooking4othersMan over a year ago

Here ...

@Tim_Berners-Lee

Just invented the internet ... get onto Fabswingers!

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

Too stressed to think! I’m going to give up and take a bath.

#rubberducky

@archimedes

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By *cgkcCouple over a year ago

Hitchin

@TheMaidOfOrleans

It's getting hot on here...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@C.S._Lewis

Thinking of a story about a lying bitch in a wardrobe. Not sure if it's right for kids though so gonna work on it a bit

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"@TheRealLazarus

#YOLO"

@TheRealLazarus, I beg to differ.

@TheRealJesusHChrist

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@billclintz

@vanish does it get yoghurt out of a dress...asking for a friend

#itwasntme #wasgudtho

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@IronLady

Going to teach that Galtieri a lesson. Nobody invades a British territory on my watch.

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By *orraine999Woman over a year ago

Somewhere

I'll be home in time to grill those steaks for the Teamsters barbecue. @jimmyh

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Jude is having trouble writing new material for us, Ringo and I suggested he does a cover version instead! @TheBeatles

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"@EnglandNFT66

This final feels like it’s never going to end..."

That one would still be getting retweeted now

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By *ensualbicockMan over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

@SidJames

Hahahaha

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

The wine’s running out. Off license is closed. What’s a messiah going to do!?

#ain’tnopartylikearabbiiparty

@JC

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By *otlovefun42Couple over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

@Walter_Raleigh.

Does anyone think that rolling leaves up in paper, sticking it in your mouth and setting fire to it will ever catch on?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"@D.Cameron

Fuck off! No one's gonna vote to leave.... "

lol

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By *otlovefun42Couple over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

@Jesus_Christ.

Who the fuck is Brian?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"@WiggyVanBeethoven

Orchestra taking the piss again by playing and talking too quietly #notfunnyguys"

Class that!! Lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"@Tim_Berners-Lee

Just invented the internet ... get onto Fabswingers!"

Ha ha

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By *rAngleseyMan over a year ago

Anglesey

This ship is fucked.

@EJS1912

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

"@Walter_Raleigh.

Does anyone think that rolling leaves up in paper, sticking it in your mouth and setting fire to it will ever catch on?"

@OriginalQueenLiz

I’m glad to see you've moved on trying to smoke potatoes then!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@Briansmum

He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy.#

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@QueenEI

Virginity sucks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@queen Elizabeth (first one knobheads)

Christ, I could do with some dick!

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

Great job offer from the local chip shop. Retirement plans are in place now.

@Elvis_theKing

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By *layfullsam OP Man over a year ago

Solihull

@dinosaurs

Wow what a pretty burning light coming tow........

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@Henry8

Really fancy shagging that Anne Boleyn, but she won't while I'm still married to Kate. Bloody Catholic church won't let me divorce her either. What to do.

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

@POTUS35_JFK

Lovely sunny day in Dallas, I think I’ll ask for the top down in the motorcade today.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Great job offer from the local chip shop. Retirement plans are in place now.

@Elvis_theKing"

Prick in the chippy swears he Elvis, he’s a liar. @ Kirsty MacColl

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By *layfullsam OP Man over a year ago

Solihull

@adam

Wow Eve looks different to me, I wonder where I insert this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"@POTUS35_JFK

Lovely sunny day in Dallas, I think I’ll ask for the top down in the motorcade today.

Fuming me! Well stitched up, I only went the pictures!! @LH Oswald

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"@Henry8

Really fancy shagging that Anne Boleyn, but she won't while I'm still married to Kate. Bloody Catholic church won't let me divorce her either. What to do."

Think I’m in love, feels like I’m losing my head! @Ann B

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

I knew I shouldn’t have quoted for painting the ceiling without an on site visit.

#NoJobTooBigMyArse

Michelangelo

@MikesPaintingAndDecorating

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@Hadrian

Done enough conquering in England. Those from the far north are a bit mad though. Gonna build a wall to keep them out of my bit

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By *orraine999Woman over a year ago

Somewhere

"@dinosaurs

Wow what a pretty burning light coming tow........"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@LeoTheVinci

Designed the helicopter this morning. Got some tart called Lisa coming over this afternoon wanting me to paint her picture. Better get it done cos all she ever does is moan.

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By *orraine999Woman over a year ago

Somewhere

Take a walk thru the desert they said, it'll be fun they said

#lostmoses #40yearsisalongtime

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@will.i.shakes

Making up words again lol fuck I hate you plebs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@Noah

Gonna build myself a little boat

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

@Columbus

The fuck I am!!

#lost #IndiaAhoy!

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

I fucking hate turtles

@Donatello

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

"I fucking hate turtles

@Donatello

@Leonardo

I feel you bruv

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@ChuckNoland

It's Christmas and I'm flying to Malaysia! The joys of work eh! I can't wait to get back and spend Christmas with my wife @KellyFrears.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@Kevin

Well they did it again. I'm home alone.

#parentsoftheyear #partytime #kidvscrooks

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

@Adolf_oneball

It’s time to make Germany great again!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@jimmy savile.. now then now then

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

@Juliet_Capulet

I know he’ll be gutted for a while but Romeo will be buzzing when I wake up in a few days!

#Can’tWaitToSeeTheLookOnHisFace

#GoodnightLover

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@JCesar

luv you guys .... Marcus Junius Brutus, Cassius Longinus, Decimus Brutus

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By *elloIntrigueMan over a year ago

North West UK

@RichardTThird

Over @BosworthField today. Conditions look good for the battle. Hope we can get one over on the enemy.

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By *elloIntrigueMan over a year ago

North West UK

#boxing Looking forward to watching the big #television match between - @RealArchieSexton & @Laurie_Raiteri in London.

#boutof1933

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

#jesusC

If anybody asks you to try out a cross for size, don’t, it’s a trick

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By *elloIntrigueMan over a year ago

North West UK

"#jesusC

If anybody asks you to try out a cross for size, don’t, it’s a trick"

Also from same user

Fed the 5000 today. #fish went a long way.

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By *elloIntrigueMan over a year ago

North West UK

@real_sirwalter_raleigh

Brought a strange vegetable back with me. People that I spoke with said it was called a potato. Her Maj will be impressed.

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

@Mrs_Schrödinger

Great trip, home tomorrow. Can’t wait to see Erwin and Tiddles

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By *evil_u_knowMan over a year ago

city

After 3 years we are both happy with the painting, check out my insta for photos of this and more of my interior designs insta:michelangelo_interior_designs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

loving these

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By *ily Con CarneTV/TS over a year ago

Cornwall

Pharaoh..

This is a pic of my cat

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

@Phythagorus

I had a weird dream about some square hippopotamus! On the plus side, I feel a breakthrough is close on my work with triangles.

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By *ensualbicockMan over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

[Removed by poster at 23/08/19 12:44:08]

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

@TheOriginalCeaser

Had a meal with Brutus tonight. I had one pizza but Brutus ate two!

#Ihaveabadfeelingaboutthis

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By *ensualbicockMan over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

@Brutus

They skinny steptoe lookalike only ate spinach again .................Cheat!

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

@GuyFawkes

I know it’s soon, but I’m buggered if I can remember what day I’m meant to blow up parliament!

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By *evil_u_knowMan over a year ago

city

I've spilled the bath water everywhere again.. wait a minute!!!!! @archimedes

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By *rReyMan over a year ago

Fleet

[Removed by poster at 23/08/19 13:46:19]

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By *rReyMan over a year ago

Fleet

@ATuring_BletchleyShhhh

Broken the Enigma code,result, this could be game changer, also close to completing the design of a machine that can handle massive complex mathematical computations. I'm gonna call it a computer. I wonder if now is the right time to come out of the closet to my employer. They say I'm up for a medal. Things are looking up.

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By *r FirecrackerMan over a year ago

London

@Darwin

Your a genius! Natural selection is real! Do you know how many people have died taking selfies?

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

@pontiouspilot

I’m going to nail you later @jesus so make sure you keep Friday clear TTFN

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By *rAngleseyMan over a year ago

Anglesey

No room at the Inn.. Should have known it would be busy at Christmas. @MaryJoseph

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

Loving this thread

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

@Gonville Bromhead

I'm not being ordered by a newly appointed engineer !

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

@John Chard

How many ? 4000 !!! We got this.

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By *cgkcCouple over a year ago

Hitchin

@KingDick3

Need help. Send horse. Reward. #kingdom

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

Anyone free to cut my hair in Coventry? Must have easy horse parking, thanks! @LadyGodiva

#willhubbynotice #domyboobslookcoveredunderthis

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By *ierced 2Couple over a year ago

Village near Great Yarmouth

@lordmayorofhiroshima

Wtf was that!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@Leonidas I

This is Sparta! Aroooooo

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By *rReyMan over a year ago

Fleet

@theresamay

Deal or no deal @noeledmunds

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@Area51boss

They'll never know if we keep schtum.

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By *hesterXXXMan over a year ago

in your dreams

Dang that darn sheath has split - Donald Trump Snr

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

@MadamCurie

Pierre told me I looked ‘radiant’ today!

Love that man!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@AH

I hear Poland is nice this time of year?

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

@Galileo

Bad weather forecast. Thunder bolts and lightning, very very frightening!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

#hannibal

Anyone know where I can get snow shoes for elephants?

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By *layfullsam OP Man over a year ago

Solihull

@Fredrick_Fleet

Alls's calm, not an iceberg in sight

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@che_rev_guevara

Anyone know how to do wheelies on a motorcycle

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By *ensualbicockMan over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

@MichaelFish

Some woman has just said a storm is coming lol

Start the BBQ love, I'm off tomorrow. Could do with a blow x

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By *ensualbicockMan over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

@Chenobyl

Whats that button do?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@m_marceau

" "

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By *spotpleasurerMan over a year ago

Norwich

@Joseph

Is my wife a swinger without my knowledge?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@Captain Cook

Just going ashore to get a few coconuts ..won't be long.

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

@Siggy_Freud

My new book ‘Reverse Psychology’ is out next week. Don’t bother buying it!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@sir_mix_often

Who else likes big butts?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@Marie_Curie

How many Nobel prizes have you won @albert_gman_einstein

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By *elloIntrigueMan over a year ago

North West UK

@WilliamShakespeare

Damn hot today, inspired to write sonnet 18. struggled first but got into it.

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

@PuddingLaneBakery

Special offer! Burnt cakes - half price

#toosoon?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Next stop Waterloo!

@N_Bonaparte

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By *elloIntrigueMan over a year ago

North West UK

@DrakeFrancis

Visited Cadiz and destroyed the Spanish fleet #standardday

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By *eviant KnightMan over a year ago

Norton

@madeleinemccann

Day 3867 still not been found

#hideandseekchampionoftheworld

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sat by seashore with my courtiers.

Just felt like a right c*nt. Feckin waves!

@King_Cnut

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That Henry Tudor is giving me the right hump.

@RichardIII

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Threesome? #arthur_guinevere

@sir_lancelot

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@pepys

Londons on fire!! I need 20 good men to dig up my fucking cheese and take it to Ipswich

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

@CatherineTheGreat

I’m ruined! He was hung like a horse.

#wasahorse

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@dooochamp

lol just dumped a signed toilet in the @grandcentralpalace ... they accepted it!! Art is dead, I've made a mockery of it. #antiart #dada

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

"@dooochamp

lol just dumped a signed toilet in the @grandcentralpalace ... they accepted it!! Art is dead, I've made a mockery of it. #antiart #dada"

#takingthepiss

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"For one moment let's pretend that twitter has been around for ever.

What kind of tweets would have been made ?

@i.newton

ffs, that hurt my head"
the rockets come off its tracks and William tell was cross bolted through head but apple still stuck to his greasy head

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@Diogenes

I'll carry this lamp til I find an honest man, KEEP AWAY FROM MY FUCKING JAR!!!

#alwxandertheclown

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Davey crockett we won at the alamo 3-0

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Damn, I'm beginning to miss summer already.

- Noah

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@Mona_lisa

Feeling cute, might take down later

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

One small step for womankind

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

"@pepys

Londons on fire!! I need 20 good men to dig up my fucking cheese and take it to Ipswich "

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

@humptydumpty

Scambled eggs anyone?

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

@Casanova

It’s been 3 days since i sniffed a womans bloomers. Who fancies some naughty fun what what..

#hoebag #slutsbelovinthedick #doublestandards

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

@NewMember

#allfakes #timewasters #dontreplytomessages #goingunlosificantgetashag

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@YeOldeSeeside

Ye Zero Meete Club doth open

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@MacaulayCulkin

Omg omg omg! I'm staying at @jacko's ranch tonight! #excited #amazingmemories

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am his fucking lover. Don't believe @jacko the lying shitbag.

@BillyJean

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@DeccaRecords

The Beatles? Rubbish.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We need you Enoch powell

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

@EPresley

#goingforashit

#backinaminute

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By *pitfiremk10Man over a year ago

Gloucester

What the fuck was that!!!??

Mayor of Hiroshima

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@CaptainScott

South Pole piece of piss.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@Einstein

My latest theory will be out relativity shortly ...

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Elizabeth Windsor@queen_uk April 1st

Have decided to abdicate #kidding #aprilfools #sorry

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

@DFS1837

#Salestartstodayoneweekonly

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@Ed Smith

Bullocks didn’t see that coming up

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/08/19 20:16:08]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@JesusHChrist you'd have got more than #5loavesAnd2fishes for your money with us. #feedingthe5000

@aldi_uk

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@JC.....nice cross, what's it for?

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By *ensualbicockMan over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

@PrincessLeia

The plans to the Death Star are...................

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I dont do twits

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@little big horn

#winning

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Thank fuck its Sabbath ..god

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@Joan of ark

# very hot here

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Henryswives

@anne_boleyn

Chop chop #dontloseurhead

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/08/19 20:50:09]

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

@ColonelMustard

#itwasntme

#notthelibrary

#candlestick

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@ Brian

What are the Romans doing for us

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"@ Brian

What are the Romans doing for us "

#conjugatetheverb

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@kingalfred1066

Has optrex been invented yet?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@Xerxes

This river is gonna get such a whipping #persianworldproblems

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@ThomasBecket

Having a quiet knight in..

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