FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is it strange that I don’t want kids??
Is it strange that I don’t want kids??
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
Your 23, you're hardly in a place to attract unusual looks lol
Try being a woman and then tell me how people look at you!
Coming from someone 20+ years older and never regretted not having them  |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"What’s unusual about it ?
I had a vasectomy at 22, never wanted children a5 all"
That's young for a vasectomy I'm surprised it was done at that age.
Dick had 4 children by then and had his done at 23.
No op it's not weird I didn't want any till I was told I couldn't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely not silly. But be aware you could change your mind. It can hit you like that. Also be aware of the fertility window of women you get involved with. And be very clear to them about this. But they're not the be all and end all of life. (Though I made major sacrifices to have mine and would die for them I'm objective enough to see that we'd have had a nice life without them - albeit a very different life.) |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"What’s unusual about it ?
I had a vasectomy at 22, never wanted children a5 all"
How the hell did you manage that when it took a woman over 10 years+ to convince doctors to sterilise her?  |
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No OP not wanting children isn't weird.
As Foxy says, being a woman and not wanting children can be really difficult. There seems to be the assumption that all women want children.
One was enough for me. Yet when I married again many assumed we must want children |
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"People call me strange, or silly for saying this, but I can’t picture my life with them. Anyone feel like this??"
No not weird at all , just beware of spergulers otherwise you’ll have no say in the matter! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive never wanted children, from way back when i was a kid myself up to the present day, and im now almost 44. I still dont want them and i know my mindset will never change. So no there is nothing wrong with thinking the way you do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve never had kids and I don’t regret it. I was always going out clubbing in my 20’s and 30’s. I liked being able to do what I wanted with no ties. I like kids but I’ve enjoyed my life and don’t feel like I’ve missed out on anything. Some people are narrow minded, and think that if you aren’t married with kids by the age of 30 then there’s something wrong with you. But I’ve always thought it’s my life and it’s up to me what I choose to do with it  icedgem |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What’s unusual about it ?
I had a vasectomy at 22, never wanted children a5 all
That's young for a vasectomy I'm surprised it was done at that age.
Dick had 4 children by then and had his done at 23.
No op it's not weird I didn't want any till I was told I couldn't. "
I went private ,had a consultation gave my reasons why I didn’t want children then it went on from there ,put me on his nhs list then I was done under local anaesthetic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People call me strange, or silly for saying this, but I can’t picture my life with them. Anyone feel like this??"
I felt the same until my baby niece and nephew came along.
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"What’s unusual about it ?
I had a vasectomy at 22, never wanted children a5 all
That's young for a vasectomy I'm surprised it was done at that age.
Dick had 4 children by then and had his done at 23.
No op it's not weird I didn't want any till I was told I couldn't.
I went private ,had a consultation gave my reasons why I didn’t want children then it went on from there ,put me on his nhs list then I was done under local anaesthetic "
Aren't all vasectomies done under local? |
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I never wanted children then bam, overnight it was like a switch was turned on at 35.
I think it’s hard to say never but everyone has their own reasons and I hate when individuals feel pressurised to conform to the norm.
You can only do what feels right for you, this is one thing that is with you for the rest of your life
Personally I’m glad my lad is here and I can’t imagine it any other way |
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Back in the day it was considered strange. If someone expressed that they would get a look and many reasons why surely they must.
I have a female friend and she would get upset with peoples reactions to not having or wanting kids. Most of the time their opinion wasn't even asked for but people felt they had to express their negative feelings. I rather hope times have changed for the better as it's our right our choice and I'm sure not one taken lightly. There is more to life than having kids. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had one child when I was quite young and never wanted any more.
My sister struggled for years to have kids and it deeply affected her. I couldn’t relate to her at all, not sure if it’s because I have a grown up son now or just because I was totally devoid that desire
I love my nieces and nephews but glad they aren’t mine
I know, I’m a monster
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I've never wanted kids, it started that I just didn't want my clubbing and partying years getting cut short in my 20's, but as I've got older things like seeing how overpopulated the world is getting, knowing how much I enjoy travelling, holidays and adventures, being able to indulge my hobbies, or just how much I cherish being able to sit at home and do nothing if I feel like it have all become reasons I don't want them.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I'm already a mum so I guess I can't totally relate.
However, I had our kids young and we were too young to have experienced adult, independent life.
Now that our children are growing up, we have found ourselves getting a little more child free time in the last two years. We like it! We love our kids but we do long for the day that we can go on holiday alone and enjoy each other etc.
I appreciate how much easier life can be without kids.
I would never change my life, I would have always had kids because all I've ever wanted to be is a Mum. I do understand why some people dont though.
Long story short, you're not a monster.
I talk alot.
Eve. X |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Unless it is a firm held belief you want people to understand you don't have to tell anyone anything about your desire or lack of it to have children, especially at your age.
You may have low motility. You may change your mind. You may become even further committed to your childless stance. None of it is weird.
Look at AWOC - those of us without children have to consider our future care needs.
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
Not strange at all OP.
Most of my mates had kids at 16/17. I had my first at 35. I was just not maternal at all, still not to a certain extent.
If babies were brought into the office i’d look, congratulate and walk off. Not a cooing, let me hold it type at all.
I love my kids with every fibre of my being, but if someone had sat me down and honestly told me what having kids does to you:
A) emotionally
B) to a relationship
C) physically
D) Financially
I’d probably would have ignored the clanging of my biological clock.
I’m a selfish person who likes my own space and freedom to roam. But now i will forever be tethered by my heart to my bambinos.
And i worry about them. Constantly. And it’s exhausting!
So yes you may change your mind, or you may not. Don’t sweat it. Enjoy your time.
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From a teenager, knew I wasnt the maternal type. Have had one swither in my life at about 30. It didnt last long. 41 now and definitely know it was the right choice for me. Happy to be crazy aunt.. I can hand them back  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never wanted kids, it started that I just didn't want my clubbing and partying years getting cut short in my 20's, but as I've got older things like seeing how overpopulated the world is getting, knowing how much I enjoy travelling, holidays and adventures, being able to indulge my hobbies, or just how much I cherish being able to sit at home and do nothing if I feel like it have all become reasons I don't want them. "
You sound just like me. |
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"People call me strange, or silly for saying this, but I can’t picture my life with them. Anyone feel like this??"
My other half.
He has never wanted children, doesn't like them at all...then he met me in 2013 a mum of three. My children were adults. Now I have six grandkids he didn't bargain for...but them are the breaks. |
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My other half too ... he’s played stepdad in previous relationships and now to mine. He’s 40 this year and I’m kinda pleased he doesn’t want children as there’s no way I would have wanted more particularly in my 40’s as mine are grown up |
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"My other half too ... he’s played stepdad in previous relationships and now to mine. He’s 40 this year and I’m kinda pleased he doesn’t want children as there’s no way I would have wanted more particularly in my 40’s as mine are grown up "
I'd be pleased too can you imagine starting again! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have the same thing.
I get told "your not getting any younger" "you will regret it".
Iv even been told I'm not a "real" woman if I don't want kids.
People assume I can't have children but the reality is I don't want them.
I love children, I work with them, I have lots of God children and love my niece and nephew but some people don't seem to think its possible for a woman to genuinely not want any of her own. |
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"My other half too ... he’s played stepdad in previous relationships and now to mine. He’s 40 this year and I’m kinda pleased he doesn’t want children as there’s no way I would have wanted more particularly in my 40’s as mine are grown up
I'd be pleased too can you imagine starting again!"
God no , I love my kids dearly but now I’m enjoying the freedom to be me. 3 kids is hard work
I know friends of mine are still broody in their 40’s and those in new relationships feel they need a baby with their new partners to cement their relationship for some reason. Personally I like having holidays and nights out to create our own memories
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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago
Nottinghamshire |
No it's not wrong I have 3 all grown up now oldest being 26 youngest 16 of to college they hard work but worth it my daughter who 26 the same said from a teenager she dont want kids were I would love a grandkid it there choice each to there own if we were all the same it be boring life lol |
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"My other half too ... he’s played stepdad in previous relationships and now to mine. He’s 40 this year and I’m kinda pleased he doesn’t want children as there’s no way I would have wanted more particularly in my 40’s as mine are grown up
I'd be pleased too can you imagine starting again!
God no , I love my kids dearly but now I’m enjoying the freedom to be me. 3 kids is hard work
I know friends of mine are still broody in their 40’s and those in new relationships feel they need a baby with their new partners to cement their relationship for some reason. Personally I like having holidays and nights out to create our own memories
"
I hear you I have 3 and 2 grandchildren and I've never understood the cementing the relationship with a baby but I've seen it often. I too love my freedom and would never have started again it is hard work...rewarding but hard work none the less |
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It's strange you're asking if its strange. Straight away If only 2 people respond 1 saying yes it's strange and the other saying no it's not doesn't answer your question. Neither does if 2 people said it is or 2 people said its not. The question is why are you concerned?.. |
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"My other half too ... he’s played stepdad in previous relationships and now to mine. He’s 40 this year and I’m kinda pleased he doesn’t want children as there’s no way I would have wanted more particularly in my 40’s as mine are grown up
I'd be pleased too can you imagine starting again!
God no , I love my kids dearly but now I’m enjoying the freedom to be me. 3 kids is hard work
I know friends of mine are still broody in their 40’s and those in new relationships feel they need a baby with their new partners to cement their relationship for some reason. Personally I like having holidays and nights out to create our own memories
I hear you I have 3 and 2 grandchildren and I've never understood the cementing the relationship with a baby but I've seen it often. I too love my freedom and would never have started again it is hard work...rewarding but hard work none the less"
Wow grandchildren too !! You look fab for a nan
Actually I have to say that’s something I quite like ... My eldest daughter who’s 22 loves the fact we go shopping , lunch out etc ... and also likes the fact her mum makes an effort to look good
I think as your children grow you develop a different mutual respect for each other and as well as being parent and child you become friends too |
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"My other half too ... he’s played stepdad in previous relationships and now to mine. He’s 40 this year and I’m kinda pleased he doesn’t want children as there’s no way I would have wanted more particularly in my 40’s as mine are grown up
I'd be pleased too can you imagine starting again!
God no , I love my kids dearly but now I’m enjoying the freedom to be me. 3 kids is hard work
I know friends of mine are still broody in their 40’s and those in new relationships feel they need a baby with their new partners to cement their relationship for some reason. Personally I like having holidays and nights out to create our own memories
I hear you I have 3 and 2 grandchildren and I've never understood the cementing the relationship with a baby but I've seen it often. I too love my freedom and would never have started again it is hard work...rewarding but hard work none the less
Wow grandchildren too !! You look fab for a nan
Actually I have to say that’s something I quite like ... My eldest daughter who’s 22 loves the fact we go shopping , lunch out etc ... and also likes the fact her mum makes an effort to look good
I think as your children grow you develop a different mutual respect for each other and as well as being parent and child you become friends too "
Thanks Scarlett...I certainly am a 'fab' nan lol
Saturday night my daughter and I hit the dancefloor which we do now and again and everytime I get such a buzz from it from her and just look at her in awe at the beautiful woman she has become inside and out. We are definitely parent/child and friends. They do appreciate us making an effort as we make them as proud as they make us.
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"I have the same thing.
I get told "your not getting any younger" "you will regret it".
Iv even been told I'm not a "real" woman if I don't want kids.
People assume I can't have children but the reality is I don't want them.
I love children, I work with them, I have lots of God children and love my niece and nephew but some people don't seem to think its possible for a woman to genuinely not want any of her own. "
My sister and her husband never wanted their own children, choosing to adopt one of the many unwanted children in the world.
They were in a group of 14 couples waiting to adopt. They had to wait four years, one year of which was psychological evaluation as the adoption authorities thought them mad for not trying for a baby, undergoing ivf etc before going the adoption route.
As a mixed race couple living in Italy, the chance of them adopting in Italy was very slim to none. They finally adopted a girl from Brazil. They had to live in Brazil for three months with her.
That was eight years ago and it still annoys her she was seen as a freak of nature for not wanting to have her own children. |
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"My other half too ... he’s played stepdad in previous relationships and now to mine. He’s 40 this year and I’m kinda pleased he doesn’t want children as there’s no way I would have wanted more particularly in my 40’s as mine are grown up
I'd be pleased too can you imagine starting again!
God no , I love my kids dearly but now I’m enjoying the freedom to be me. 3 kids is hard work
I know friends of mine are still broody in their 40’s and those in new relationships feel they need a baby with their new partners to cement their relationship for some reason. Personally I like having holidays and nights out to create our own memories
"
I don't get that either. I've friends with several "baby daddies" as they feel compelled to get knocked up by every man they say hi too. |
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"People call me strange, or silly for saying this, but I can’t picture my life with them. Anyone feel like this??"
You don't want kids? What in earth is wrong with you?
Only kidding bud, you are far from the only one, me included |
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Probably best to say to person who calls you silly.. that if they want to move in for 18 years with you and be a free babysitter.. you will have kids then.
I didnt want kids for a long time too, so I understand. But glad that when the moment came i listened to my instinct.
Life without kids is not a lesser life. You can leave behind much more than your genes. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not strange.
I don't want kids.
Honestly, try being a 30 year old woman with none and constantly questioned about it. 
Only you know what's the right decision for you, don't let anyone make you feel any kinda way for it. (And try to ignore the "you'll change your mind" comments) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What’s unusual about it ?
I had a vasectomy at 22, never wanted children a5 all
That's young for a vasectomy I'm surprised it was done at that age.
Dick had 4 children by then and had his done at 23.
No op it's not weird I didn't want any till I was told I couldn't.
I went private ,had a consultation gave my reasons why I didn’t want children then it went on from there ,put me on his nhs list then I was done under local anaesthetic
Aren't all vasectomies done under local? "
No everyone else was going under |
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that might change over time
#obviously 