FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why isn’t love free anymore??
Why isn’t love free anymore??
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Was there ever a time when you were able to grab love in an instant?? I think I'm in the wrong generation. I've been struggling for a long time to find someone, but for some reason there is like a invisible wall blocking us from connecting. Is it because of phones? Reality shows? Or are just now meant to be this way now.
It seems like now you have to buy love these days, that is without a doubt the fakest love you can ever get, and it's disgusting. It breaks my heart that people out there buy love, and families. Love is meant to be for free. Not anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think technology has killed love , when I was younger you went out and connected with people , you talked laughed and danced now you swipe left or right , and if you get lucky to meet a real person in the flesh they spend most of there time on there bloody mobiles , looking for the next victim , I've got old |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think you have to buy love. Love comes when you expect it the least and that is coming from me, who has been ghosted million times in the past and then when I was fed up of guys, I fell in love with a guy from fab who was supposed to be just a one off.
Making a connection in a real life is definitely harder than it used to be so just try to use social media and all the apps to your advantage and you might find what you didn't even know you were looking for. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
Do people still not fall in love by possibly seeing someone on the bus and starting off with a smile, or in the supermarket or cafe. It doesn’t have to be via a device.
The next person you bump into maybe the one.
Think positive and good luck |
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"I think technology has killed love , when I was younger you went out and connected with people , you talked laughed and danced now you swipe left or right , and if you get lucky to meet a real person in the flesh they spend most of there time on there bloody mobiles , looking for the next victim , I've got old "
Technology can't kill love  |
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"I think technology has killed love , when I was younger you went out and connected with people , you talked laughed and danced now you swipe left or right , and if you get lucky to meet a real person in the flesh they spend most of there time on there bloody mobiles , looking for the next victim , I've got old
Technology can't kill love "
Before phones if a date was going badly there were other ways to be uninterested. It's not like all dates were wonderful until mobile phones. The notion is absurd. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Love isn't instant, whatever you might read or people tell you.
Attraction can be instant and that can turn into love.
Like can turn into love.
I think people dismiss opportunities too quickly because they think they have infinite choice and the opportunity to swipe left and right. Some will always seek to get the perceived upgrade on the choice they have in front of them.
Love isn't easy, it takes work, but that work shouldn't feel like a chore.
It's not something you can be totally passive about and expect it to happen.
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"Love is not minding somebody else's farts." - Kirsty MacColl.
OP, I see you're 23. I fear you have an overly romanticised idea of what love is and should be. You've been told what to search for. It will come, and you will know it. Maybe you're looking too hard?
Love comes in many forms, and I'm very lucky to love, and be loved by, various people from all stages of my life. |
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"I think technology has killed love , when I was younger you went out and connected with people , you talked laughed and danced now you swipe left or right , and if you get lucky to meet a real person in the flesh they spend most of there time on there bloody mobiles , looking for the next victim , I've got old
Technology can't kill love
Before phones if a date was going badly there were other ways to be uninterested. It's not like all dates were wonderful until mobile phones. The notion is absurd. "
Ain't 'that' the truth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Love is a little word with many big meanings. I struggled with been single for many years and have to admit I was in love with the idea of been in love. I had a lot of crushes in that time and struggled with them.
When I did get into relationships, they hurt bad when they ended because each time I thought I'd found the one, rather than chill and enjoy the scenario.
Then when I got into dating again three women came along at once and I had to choose and ended up marrying one of them five years later. 18 years on I have 3 great children but a wife who can barely say a complimentary word to me let alone even want sex with me so I probably feel pursuing love hasn't quite worked out for me.
The grass isn't always greener and that's probably the thing to remember, but when your time comes just enjoy it, don't carry great expectations but enjoy it while its there.
I guess all the others who pay for it are doing the same, except their enjoyment is much shorter hence they crsve for more as well as with others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think people are more cynical about love, but I still think it exists for free because, let's face it, everything to one side, whilst it lasts it feels fkin great |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I think people are more cynical about love, but I still think it exists for free because, let's face it, everything to one side, whilst it lasts it feels fkin great "
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0n3OepDn5GU
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Love still exists.. and dont agree that it costs. The problem is people struggle to communicate face to face without their face against some sort of electrical device. Im quite old fashioned it seems. |
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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago
somewhere |
"I don't think you have to buy love. Love comes when you expect it the least and that is coming from me, who has been ghosted million times in the past and then when I was fed up of guys, I fell in love with a guy from fab who was supposed to be just a one off.
Making a connection in a real life is definitely harder than it used to be so just try to use social media and all the apps to your advantage and you might find what you didn't even know you were looking for. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Love still exists.. and dont agree that it costs. The problem is people struggle to communicate face to face without their face against some sort of electrical device. Im quite old fashioned it seems."
Your pinny is the giveaway.  |
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"I think technology has killed love , when I was younger you went out and connected with people , you talked laughed and danced now you swipe left or right , and if you get lucky to meet a real person in the flesh they spend most of there time on there bloody mobiles , looking for the next victim , I've got old
Technology can't kill love
Before phones if a date was going badly there were other ways to be uninterested. It's not like all dates were wonderful until mobile phones. The notion is absurd. "
If a phone comes out when I’m with someone, that’s a big no no, unless we are using it to look something up jointly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Was there ever a time when you were able to grab love in an instant?? I think I'm in the wrong generation. I've been struggling for a long time to find someone, but for some reason there is like a invisible wall blocking us from connecting. Is it because of phones? Reality shows? Or are just now meant to be this way now.
It seems like now you have to buy love these days, that is without a doubt the fakest love you can ever get, and it's disgusting. It breaks my heart that people out there buy love, and families. Love is meant to be for free. Not anymore."
If you have to buy it it ain’t love. When you find love then nothing else matters, money, belongings, trappings of wealth, they mean nothing and you’d happily live in a cardboard box with that person. You talk some random nonsense like you’ve lived a thousand years and you know it all. Maybe you’ve had some bad experiences but those arn’t the norm and just because you have experienced something, that doesn’t mean that’s how the rest of the world works. Nobody buys love, love just happens. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Love still exists.. and dont agree that it costs. The problem is people struggle to communicate face to face without their face against some sort of electrical device. Im quite old fashioned it seems."
There's nothing better than an excuse to turn the phone off and communicate with someone. But without the phone and the tech in the first place though we wouldnt have necessarily met the people we have in all these far flung places, widening the net for that illusive love to happen. Swings and roundabouts.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Love still exists.. and dont agree that it costs. The problem is people struggle to communicate face to face without their face against some sort of electrical device. Im quite old fashioned it seems.
Your pinny is the giveaway. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Love does not exist anymore in the form of partners, we live in a society now where it’s justvall sex sex sex, I found out the hard way ( no pun intended) and have come to terms with being single now forever |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Love does not exist anymore in the form of partners, we live in a society now where it’s justvall sex sex sex, I found out the hard way ( no pun intended) and have come to terms with being single now forever"
Not sure it’s totally gone, just think things are a lot different from the ideals we were brought up with x |
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"Love does not exist anymore in the form of partners, we live in a society now where it’s justvall sex sex sex, I found out the hard way ( no pun intended) and have come to terms with being single now forever"
it really does exist in the form of partners. Lots of our kids friends are long term partnered and married |
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I don't get the ops point, so more details needed please.
In days of olde, people may be chosen due to their wealth, status and more, with family involved. People now have more freedom and choice but more options may overwhelm. Fab isn't an exclusive dating site but is free for all and people do find love, as well as good sex partners.
If you need to raise your self esteem and confidence, to help you feel able to date as an equal, then there are ways you could pursue this.
Being yourself and living the life that you want, enjoying it whether single or with a partner, will help you to enjoy healthy wellbeing. Enjoying your interests actively may help you to meet others who share those interests. Many pursuits are free or low cost and if you do them for the pleasure it gives you, any friends or dates that may happen are an added enrichment to your life.
If you want to date people who are not materialistic, you'll still find that love is free. Plenty of free things to enjoy together too.
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I think abortion killed love.
People became more practical, they could abort and focus on their jobs, they made more money, the price of houses rose from one income to two incomes. Women waited longer and aborted babies with problems as they were only going to have one, two max children. The birth rate stagnated. and now the first chat a woman needs to have with a man is how much he makes, as if he does not make much then they cant have a house together, cant have the children, so its a non starter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Love can’t be purchased. It’s a concept. "
Actually a concept can be purchased, companies do it all the time. Love is a feeling and (true) feelings can't be purchased.
OP
I am not disagree that it is different now, but do you think that every generation or two goes through this?
That they base these things on how it was or how things worked two generations ago?
If you were your parents or grandparents generation you would probably be saying the same, blaming it on some other form of advancement.
What a difference it made to dating to have newspapers printed with lonely heart sections and be able to pick up your landline phone to call the number, and call multiple people. How about with the rise of speed dating events.
This doesn't just apply to dating and love, it applies to many things in life. It is different, in some ways worse while others better, but comparing it to the way it was before then the grass will always look greener on the other side. We have lost something, but we have also gained something. The old ways still exist and there is nothing stopping you using them instead. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think technology has killed love , when I was younger you went out and connected with people , you talked laughed and danced now you swipe left or right , and if you get lucky to meet a real person in the flesh they spend most of there time on there bloody mobiles , looking for the next victim , I've got old
Technology can't kill love "
it kills conversation though  |
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"I think abortion killed love.
People became more practical, they could abort and focus on their jobs, they made more money, the price of houses rose from one income to two incomes. Women waited longer and aborted babies with problems as they were only going to have one, two max children. The birth rate stagnated. and now the first chat a woman needs to have with a man is how much he makes, as if he does not make much then they cant have a house together, cant have the children, so its a non starter."
Yikes 
Or women are no longer stuck with men they don't love, who don't love them, and are free to be full members of society? |
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"Do people still not fall in love by possibly seeing someone on the bus and starting off with a smile, or in the supermarket or cafe. It doesn’t have to be via a device.
The next person you bump into maybe the one.
Think positive and good luck"
Indeed. All my children met their husbands the "conventional" way and they're 28, 32 and 36.
The youngest met her future husband when she was 12 at church. My middle daughter was in the same primary school as her future husband and my eldest met her future husband on a train.
(Good to see you back). |
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"First you get the job, then you get the love.
First question on any date will be what you work at."
I can understand why. Times are hard. If you're working and struggling the last thing you want is someone not working.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Love does not exist anymore in the form of partners, we live in a society now where it’s justvall sex sex sex, I found out the hard way ( no pun intended) and have come to terms with being single now forever"
That’s like saying being rich doesn’t exist because I am not rich. Just because you don’t have something or have had a bad experience doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist any more. Love is everywhere, there are people madly in love everywhere, of course it exists. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Love does not exist anymore in the form of partners, we live in a society now where it’s justvall sex sex sex, I found out the hard way ( no pun intended) and have come to terms with being single now forever
That’s like saying being rich doesn’t exist because I am not rich. Just because you don’t have something or have had a bad experience doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist any more. Love is everywhere, there are people madly in love everywhere, of course it exists."
^This 100%.
Its very sad you dont believe in love. I have experienced in every relationship
All be it im always in long term relationships and i do experience it now.
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"Was there ever a time when you were able to grab love in an instant?? I think I'm in the wrong generation. I've been struggling for a long time to find someone, but for some reason there is like a invisible wall blocking us from connecting. Is it because of phones? Reality shows? Or are just now meant to be this way now.
It seems like now you have to buy love these days, that is without a doubt the fakest love you can ever get, and it's disgusting. It breaks my heart that people out there buy love, and families. Love is meant to be for free. Not anymore."
I think you might have been burnt by a woman in the past and it's poisoned your _iew of women
Of course actual love is free, if you have to buy it you're either with a prostitute or a gold digger |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Love is free, you've just got to know where it is.
It will find you when you least expect it and there's not much you can do when it does.
"
boom titty boom titty boom boom boom |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Social media has a lot to blame. Look on facebook and most people will only post the good in their lives which is fair enough of them, but seeing nothing but hunky dorey stories about people in relationships could put strain on an existing relationship that is struggling. Throw in gifts couples buy for each other and holidays etc and the next things people are spending above their means to emulate what they've seen on facebook thinking they mutate keep their relationship healthy. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I think abortion killed love.
People became more practical, they could abort and focus on their jobs, they made more money, the price of houses rose from one income to two incomes. Women waited longer and aborted babies with problems as they were only going to have one, two max children. The birth rate stagnated. and now the first chat a woman needs to have with a man is how much he makes, as if he does not make much then they cant have a house together, cant have the children, so its a non starter."
Back street abortions leading to sepsis and death certainly killed love.
Gilead is here.
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