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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So I was speaking to a friend earlier and she mentioned a ex gaslights her.
So as you you Google go on the forums and search what the hell this means... As you do right now (Google is your friend)
What I want to know after her speaking to the police and them not being interested in helping
What else can she do ?? |
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"So I was speaking to a friend earlier and she mentioned a ex gaslights her.
So as you you Google go on the forums and search what the hell this means... As you do right now (Google is your friend)
What I want to know after her speaking to the police and them not being interested in helping
What else can she do ??"
It only has an effect if you let it, if you can be confident enough to say "I don't care about your opinion" then it has no impact.
Cal |
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"Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, making them question their own memory, perception, and sanity."
Based on THIS description, nothing illegal has occurred, though the behaviour is poor. However by your friend continue to pursue action against, she is still manipulated, in that she cares and the gaslighter is still impacting her sanity and emotional state. Therefore my advice would be, walk away, breathe some new air into your life and do not give succour to the offending article |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Get the shotgun 
And the shovel
Really ? Cos they had an argument for a long long time ?
He should die ?
Don't be ex number 2 now jimi..... or your days are numbered. "
no im in an over reaction mode you just killed me for being a tiger |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She has to block him on any phone and social media. Keep a diary of any attempts he makes to contact her via any/other means. If it’s really badly affecting her, if he was/is abusive contact organisations trained at helping women like her. Hope she’s going to be ok xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She has to block him on any phone and social media. Keep a diary of any attempts he makes to contact her via any/other means. If it’s really badly affecting her, if he was/is abusive contact organisations trained at helping women like her. Hope she’s going to be ok xx
"
I agree with this. It's so hard to break away from people like this. Just keep being her friend and supporting her  |
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"She has to block him on any phone and social media. Keep a diary of any attempts he makes to contact her via any/other means. If it’s really badly affecting her, if he was/is abusive contact organisations trained at helping women like her. Hope she’s going to be ok xx
Great advice - got to stop all contact, it's the only way to get out of these types of situations! Stop feeding the fire and it will go out eventually!
I agree with this. It's so hard to break away from people like this. Just keep being her friend and supporting her "
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"I'm just going to add that if it's from an abusive relationship its VERY easy to judge and just say 'well theres no problem', much much harder after years of abuse."
Agreed, very naive to say "it's an ex, ignore".
Not so easy if you have kids together, or live in the same area.
I'd advise her to look at the Womens Aid website, or speak to them.
Keep records of all incidents and I'd contact the police again with evidence, particularly if she feels threatened or in physical danger.
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She's already done the most important thing which is to recognise it. That way she can be stronger than him and not let it affect her in the way he wants.
I doubt what he's doing is illegal, so all she can do is put up barriers to prevent communication from him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm just going to add that if it's from an abusive relationship its VERY easy to judge and just say 'well theres no problem', much much harder after years of abuse.
Agreed, very naive to say "it's an ex, ignore".
Not so easy if you have kids together, or live in the same area.
I'd advise her to look at the Womens Aid website, or speak to them.
Keep records of all incidents and I'd contact the police again with evidence, particularly if she feels threatened or in physical danger.
"
Evidence of what though?
Gaslighting isn't physical threats |
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"Get the shotgun
And the shovel
Really ? Cos they had an argument for a long long time ?
He should die ?
Don't be ex number 2 now jimi..... or your days are numbered. no im in an over reaction mode you just killed me for being a tiger"
I did. You are right Tigers can't use shotguns |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm just going to add that if it's from an abusive relationship its VERY easy to judge and just say 'well theres no problem', much much harder after years of abuse.
Agreed, very naive to say "it's an ex, ignore".
Not so easy if you have kids together, or live in the same area.
I'd advise her to look at the Womens Aid website, or speak to them.
Keep records of all incidents and I'd contact the police again with evidence, particularly if she feels threatened or in physical danger.
"
The law was changed in 2015.
www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/everything-you-need-to-know-about-the-new-psychological-abuse-law-a6789271.html
www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-abuse-how-to-get-help
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Get the shotgun
And the shovel
Really ? Cos they had an argument for a long long time ?
He should die ?
Don't be ex number 2 now jimi..... or your days are numbered. no im in an over reaction mode you just killed me for being a tiger
I did. You are right Tigers can't use shotguns"
Definitely a man |
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I would second contacting Women's Aid.. National Domestic Abuse helpline, social service if kids involved.. and local women charities, such as women centre. They usually provide courses to help survivors leave safely or set healthy boundaries and implement safety measures/changes..
Best thing she did was to speak up. It takes a courage.. and gaslightning i believe can be classed as a form of coercive behaviour/DA |
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"Get the shotgun
And the shovel
Really ? Cos they had an argument for a long long time ?
He should die ?
Don't be ex number 2 now jimi..... or your days are numbered. no im in an over reaction mode you just killed me for being a tiger
I did. You are right Tigers can't use shotguns
Definitely a man "
Who is ? |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"There’s something called the grey stone technique, tell her to google it. Essentially cut contact, make herself completely stone like- no emotion, no feeling, no response, no reply.
"
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Look at doing the Freedom Programme. There is an online version but it can help to go to sessions with other people. (There is a version for men too).
It is primarily about domestic abuse but covers gaslighting too.
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By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago
button moon |
My ex has spent 10 yrs doing this. Few months ago I just stopped responding. He got worse and worse, bit I just kept blocking all new contact. Screen shooting all the abuse, and he seems to be loosing interest. |
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""Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, making them question their own memory, perception, and sanity."
Based on THIS description, nothing illegal has occurred, though the behaviour is poor. However by your friend continue to pursue action against, she is still manipulated, in that she cares and the gaslighter is still impacting her sanity and emotional state. Therefore my advice would be, walk away, breathe some new air into your life and do not give succour to the offending article"
Could it be suggested in law it's a, harassment and b, would not one of the body harm acronyms cover psychological distress
It seems so easy for us to say ignore, for many of us it would be but this behaviour and programming began while in the relationship, chemicals and neural pathways have been set to a degree it's hard to understand, but dammn iv seen it and I'd go so far to say it can permanently ruin a person's life !
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By *lex D.Man
over a year ago
London |
"So I was speaking to a friend earlier and she mentioned a ex gaslights her.
So as you you Google go on the forums and search what the hell this means... As you do right now (Google is your friend)
What I want to know after her speaking to the police and them not being interested in helping
What else can she do ??"
She needs to ask him kindly to stay away if she doesn't want gaslightened. If she does this she can then call the police if je pursues. The crime will fall under assault through trespass to the person. xx |
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