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Sex and Physical Attraction
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I saw a post on TwitTwat a couple of weeks ago that has been niggling my little noggin. I'm opening it up for your brains to unpick:
"Why do so many people seem to confuse 'I find physically attractive' with 'I want to sleep with'? They are not mutually exclusive or the same thing..."
I have had sex (lots) with people that I have not found physically attractive, as such. That doesn't mean that I haven't found other characteristics attractive, hence the sex.
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"I saw a post on TwitTwat a couple of weeks ago that has been niggling my little noggin. I'm opening it up for your brains to unpick:
"Why do so many people seem to confuse 'I find physically attractive' with 'I want to sleep with'? They are not mutually exclusive or the same thing..."
I have had sex (lots) with people that I have not found physically attractive, as such. That doesn't mean that I haven't found other characteristics attractive, hence the sex.
"
Conversely, there are many people I find physically attractive but they have zero sex appeal to me. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I saw a post on TwitTwat a couple of weeks ago that has been niggling my little noggin. I'm opening it up for your brains to unpick:
"Why do so many people seem to confuse 'I find physically attractive' with 'I want to sleep with'? They are not mutually exclusive or the same thing..."
I have had sex (lots) with people that I have not found physically attractive, as such. That doesn't mean that I haven't found other characteristics attractive, hence the sex.
Conversely, there are many people I find physically attractive but they have zero sex appeal to me."
Me too! Some are just pretty to look at, especially if they don't speak and reveal what's in/not in their brain.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say the 2 aren't exclusive.
For me you can find someone physically attractive and not want to sleep with them, but then I wouldn't sleep with someone I didn't find physically attractive in some way. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'd say the 2 aren't exclusive.
For me you can find someone physically attractive and not want to sleep with them, but then I wouldn't sleep with someone I didn't find physically attractive in some way."
Your response is confusing; you end by saying that the two are exclusive for you.
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Nice to have the choice....come on, it had to be said!
You have no people you want to sleep with or find physically attractive?
The exact opposite!  "
How do you know NO ONE finds you physically attractive or doesn't want to sleep with you? That's a lot of people.
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
I have to find someone physically attractive and sexy to me who always has a connection with me. Other wise my body just doesnt react and I just couldn't do it.
No matter how lovely of a personality they have. I've met loads of lovely guys but physical attraction doesnt seem easy for me to find. Maybe shallow who knows.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree.
I can find women physically attractive for example but I don’t want to sleep with them, because I’m straight.
I find lots of men physically attractive but I don’t want to sleep with all of them! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have to find someone physically attractive and sexy to me who always has a connection with me. Other wise my body just doesnt react and I just couldn't do it.
No matter how lovely of a personality they have. I've met loads of lovely guys but physical attraction doesnt seem easy for me to find. Maybe shallow who knows. "
Ask for a face pic first to see if you are physically attracted then |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I have to find someone physically attractive and sexy to me who always has a connection with me. Other wise my body just doesnt react and I just couldn't do it.
No matter how lovely of a personality they have. I've met loads of lovely guys but physical attraction doesnt seem easy for me to find. Maybe shallow who knows. "
Careful letting anyone know you find them attractive - it's a green light for sex. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I agree.
I can find women physically attractive for example but I don’t want to sleep with them, because I’m straight.
I find lots of men physically attractive but I don’t want to sleep with all of them! "
Good point on sexual orientation. There are so many women I find physically attractive.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personality wins me and then once that excites me, the rest follows and then in hooked
Recently tho, i seem to be devoping a voice fetish for a certain someone who can get me wet by just growling at me down the phone lol which is a first for me.. In fact just thinking about them growling at me has me groaning... |
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Attraction is a complex thing, even just physical attraction. As pure an element as how someone moves or holds themselves can ignite the fire of passion - or you may simply love this about someone, still not wanting sex with them.
Similarly, I think too that being in the company of some people can be sexually catalytic - you can find aspects of something about them attractive. But still not want sex with them.
Fetishes that people have can also be fired up by aspects of scenarios or people - there can be some attraction but people don't want sex with them.
Our experiences with others will often deter us from picking similar people - though we may find a lot of things attractive about them, we won't want to risk repeating poor experiences.
Our sexual tastes are all diverse, from those wanting a solitary partner for life, to someone taking all cummers blindfolded.
I think it partly links to the non-binary aspects of life that we typically have, where we gauge things on a spectrum, or multiples of them, where the right permutations of multiple criteria are met, we will choose to have sex, otherwise we may more simply have an appreciation of someone, finding them attractive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I saw a post on TwitTwat a couple of weeks ago that has been niggling my little noggin. I'm opening it up for your brains to unpick:
"Why do so many people seem to confuse 'I find physically attractive' with 'I want to sleep with'? They are not mutually exclusive or the same thing..."
I have had sex (lots) with people that I have not found physically attractive, as such. That doesn't mean that I haven't found other characteristics attractive, hence the sex.
Conversely, there are many people I find physically attractive but they have zero sex appeal to me."
 |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I'm going to be using the term TwitTwat so thank you for that.
If you don't find someone physically attractive, how do you still get wet enough? Or do you mean they are not classically attractive? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nice to have the choice....come on, it had to be said!
You have no people you want to sleep with or find physically attractive?
The exact opposite!
How do you know NO ONE finds you physically attractive or doesn't want to sleep with you? That's a lot of people.
"
Er, no one has offered to!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I couldn’t have sex with someone I didn’t find physically attractive, however I wouldn’t have sex with someone I found physically attractive that I didn’t like and didn’t have chemistry with. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Personality wins me and then once that excites me, the rest follows and then in hooked
Recently tho, i seem to be devoping a voice fetish for a certain someone who can get me wet by just growling at me down the phone lol which is a first for me.. In fact just thinking about them growling at me has me groaning... "
Someone hooked me like that back in the '80s. When we eventually met he was not as I imagined but I was hooked.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I couldn’t have sex with someone I didn’t find physically attractive, however I wouldn’t have sex with someone I found physically attractive that I didn’t like and didn’t have chemistry with."
.
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Attraction is a complex thing, even just physical attraction. As pure an element as how someone moves or holds themselves can ignite the fire of passion - or you may simply love this about someone, still not wanting sex with them.
Similarly, I think too that being in the company of some people can be sexually catalytic - you can find aspects of something about them attractive. But still not want sex with them.
Fetishes that people have can also be fired up by aspects of scenarios or people - there can be some attraction but people don't want sex with them.
Our experiences with others will often deter us from picking similar people - though we may find a lot of things attractive about them, we won't want to risk repeating poor experiences.
Our sexual tastes are all diverse, from those wanting a solitary partner for life, to someone taking all cummers blindfolded.
I think it partly links to the non-binary aspects of life that we typically have, where we gauge things on a spectrum, or multiples of them, where the right permutations of multiple criteria are met, we will choose to have sex, otherwise we may more simply have an appreciation of someone, finding them attractive. "
The blindfold might help... |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'm going to be using the term TwitTwat so thank you for that.
If you don't find someone physically attractive, how do you still get wet enough? Or do you mean they are not classically attractive? "
Sometimes it's the words that tumble from their lips, sometimes it's the pheromones, sometimes it's the way they walk or their physicality rather than a physical attraction to face and body.
I can get wet reading the right words from people I have never seen let alone met.
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I couldn’t have sex with someone I didn’t find physically attractive, however I wouldn’t have sex with someone I found physically attractive that I didn’t like and didn’t have chemistry with."
That's a good distinction.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Two of my absolute most favourite people to have sex with I wouldnt have initially picked out of a line up of men I found physically attractive, based on my historic likes (thats not to say they arent of course, if you're listening)
Someone I find atttactive just happens to be a bit of a prat so I wouldnt want to get naked with them particulary, So I get what you are saying yes.
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I'm going to be using the term TwitTwat so thank you for that.
If you don't find someone physically attractive, how do you still get wet enough? Or do you mean they are not classically attractive?
Sometimes it's the words that tumble from their lips, sometimes it's the pheromones, sometimes it's the way they walk or their physicality rather than a physical attraction to face and body.
I can get wet reading the right words from people I have never seen let alone met.
"
But when you do meet don't you still have to find them physically attractive?
I understand what you're saying about lexicon, about the wetness that can follow from a well crafted message from a certain person (god do I know that one). It's interesting because I want all of your aforementioned things but I also want to find someone quite attractive as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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'Handsome' is another one
I can recognise a guy is handsome but not find him sexually attractive
I also tend to prefer 'pretty' women than 'beautiful' women
Unadultered beauty and perfection is not sexually attractive to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm going to be using the term TwitTwat so thank you for that.
If you don't find someone physically attractive, how do you still get wet enough? Or do you mean they are not classically attractive?
Sometimes it's the words that tumble from their lips, sometimes it's the pheromones, sometimes it's the way they walk or their physicality rather than a physical attraction to face and body.
I can get wet reading the right words from people I have never seen let alone met.
But when you do meet don't you still have to find them physically attractive?
I understand what you're saying about lexicon, about the wetness that can follow from a well crafted message from a certain person (god do I know that one). It's interesting because I want all of your aforementioned things but I also want to find someone quite attractive as well. "
I think in that case that you just do find them attractive absolutely |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'm going to be using the term TwitTwat so thank you for that.
If you don't find someone physically attractive, how do you still get wet enough? Or do you mean they are not classically attractive?
Sometimes it's the words that tumble from their lips, sometimes it's the pheromones, sometimes it's the way they walk or their physicality rather than a physical attraction to face and body.
I can get wet reading the right words from people I have never seen let alone met.
But when you do meet don't you still have to find them physically attractive?
I understand what you're saying about lexicon, about the wetness that can follow from a well crafted message from a certain person (god do I know that one). It's interesting because I want all of your aforementioned things but I also want to find someone quite attractive as well. "
There are some physical things that can definitely, viscerally put me off. what someone's face looks like is largely out of their control and bodies can sometimes be the same.
If they've won me over enough to meet them then I'm predisposed to liking them and it's theirs to lose. Some go all out to tick the ditch list. 
The phone person from the '80s would make a good double for Quasimodo. Like Quasimodo he was endearing and charming and we had a year long fling.
If they turn out to have the alluring Adonis V and face that pleases and I feel thrilled to be with them then that's cake, icing and my cherry.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm going to be using the term TwitTwat so thank you for that.
If you don't find someone physically attractive, how do you still get wet enough? Or do you mean they are not classically attractive?
Sometimes it's the words that tumble from their lips, sometimes it's the pheromones, sometimes it's the way they walk or their physicality rather than a physical attraction to face and body.
I can get wet reading the right words from people I have never seen let alone met.
"
I do quite well creating a level of attraction with my words and even my pictures, but that usually doesn’t translate into sexual attraction. There’s more to it - that ‘je ne sais quoi’ - that turns being an interesting, lovely guy into someone who is sexually attractive.
And similarly for me that ingredient that turns an interesting, lovely woman into someone I’m really sexually attracted to. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"'Handsome' is another one
I can recognise a guy is handsome but not find him sexually attractive
I also tend to prefer 'pretty' women than 'beautiful' women
Unadultered beauty and perfection is not sexually attractive to me "
'Perfection' can be distancing. I had a conversation with a woman who can be described and classically Western perfection who told me that almost every man she spoke to fell into two categories: overawed and what-are-you-doing-with-him challenger. Rarely there would be someone who was oblivious to her beauty and that was attractive.
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'm going to be using the term TwitTwat so thank you for that.
If you don't find someone physically attractive, how do you still get wet enough? Or do you mean they are not classically attractive?
Sometimes it's the words that tumble from their lips, sometimes it's the pheromones, sometimes it's the way they walk or their physicality rather than a physical attraction to face and body.
I can get wet reading the right words from people I have never seen let alone met.
I do quite well creating a level of attraction with my words and even my pictures, but that usually doesn’t translate into sexual attraction. There’s more to it - that ‘je ne sais quoi’ - that turns being an interesting, lovely guy into someone who is sexually attractive.
And similarly for me that ingredient that turns an interesting, lovely woman into someone I’m really sexually attracted to."
I use pheromones as a shorthand for that. I think they exist, others don't.
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"The phone person from the '80s would make a good double for Quasimodo. Like Quasimodo he was endearing and charming and we had a year long fling.
If they turn out to have the alluring Adonis V and face that pleases and I feel thrilled to be with them then that's cake, icing and my cherry.
"
I fear I'm someone's phone Quasimodo now. Geez Lickety, not something I'd ever considered before.
I hope you find your Adonis V man soon. Ideally with a great nose as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm going to be using the term TwitTwat so thank you for that.
If you don't find someone physically attractive, how do you still get wet enough? Or do you mean they are not classically attractive?
Sometimes it's the words that tumble from their lips, sometimes it's the pheromones, sometimes it's the way they walk or their physicality rather than a physical attraction to face and body.
I can get wet reading the right words from people I have never seen let alone met.
I do quite well creating a level of attraction with my words and even my pictures, but that usually doesn’t translate into sexual attraction. There’s more to it - that ‘je ne sais quoi’ - that turns being an interesting, lovely guy into someone who is sexually attractive.
And similarly for me that ingredient that turns an interesting, lovely woman into someone I’m really sexually attracted to.
I use pheromones as a shorthand for that. I think they exist, others don't.
"
Hmm maybe bottling my dodgy snake oil might come in useful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not sure if I'm going off topic, but the more adventurous,uninhibited and chilled someone is, the more attractive I find them. I'm absolutely no Adonis but the best sex I've ever had was with someone I wouldn't have been physically attracted to if I passed them in the street. However, once I got to know her, she was totally irresistible |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"The phone person from the '80s would make a good double for Quasimodo. Like Quasimodo he was endearing and charming and we had a year long fling.
If they turn out to have the alluring Adonis V and face that pleases and I feel thrilled to be with them then that's cake, icing and my cherry.
I fear I'm someone's phone Quasimodo now. Geez Lickety, not something I'd ever considered before.
I hope you find your Adonis V man soon. Ideally with a great nose as well. "
I know I have been people's short Quasimodo. They liked the endearing and charming for a while but the call to the tall, less hairy, more classically Western always came.
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By *lex D.Man
over a year ago
London |
"I saw a post on TwitTwat a couple of weeks ago that has been niggling my little noggin. I'm opening it up for your brains to unpick:
"Why do so many people seem to confuse 'I find physically attractive' with 'I want to sleep with'? They are not mutually exclusive or the same thing..."
I have had sex (lots) with people that I have not found physically attractive, as such. That doesn't mean that I haven't found other characteristics attractive, hence the sex.
"
I'm not into 'curvy' ladies but if I find her face, say, beautifully attractive and she has an A class personality then the parameters may indeed change. On the other hand a gorgeous slim "my type" young lady can screw my preferences by uttering just a single word. x |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Not sure if I'm going off topic, but the more adventurous,uninhibited and chilled someone is, the more attractive I find them. I'm absolutely no Adonis but the best sex I've ever had was with someone I wouldn't have been physically attracted to if I passed them in the street. However, once I got to know her, she was totally irresistible "
Confidence and devil-may-care is attractive, regardless what someone looks like. Once we get to know people they either become more or much less attractive.
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I saw a post on TwitTwat a couple of weeks ago that has been niggling my little noggin. I'm opening it up for your brains to unpick:
"Why do so many people seem to confuse 'I find physically attractive' with 'I want to sleep with'? They are not mutually exclusive or the same thing..."
I have had sex (lots) with people that I have not found physically attractive, as such. That doesn't mean that I haven't found other characteristics attractive, hence the sex.
I'm not into 'curvy' ladies but if I find her face, say, beautifully attractive and she has an A class personality then the parameters may indeed change. On the other hand a gorgeous slim "my type" young lady can screw my preferences by uttering just a single word. x "
Skew it towards them or away from them?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"U can put lipstick on a pig its still a pig
Some might like pig (not actual pig, that would be wrong!).
"
never said pigs were bad everyone loves peppa not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not sure if I'm going off topic, but the more adventurous,uninhibited and chilled someone is, the more attractive I find them. I'm absolutely no Adonis but the best sex I've ever had was with someone I wouldn't have been physically attracted to if I passed them in the street. However, once I got to know her, she was totally irresistible
Confidence and devil-may-care is attractive, regardless what someone looks like. Once we get to know people they either become more or much less attractive.
"
Exactly that |
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