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Saying no over expense
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Has anyone turned down a meet as it would cost the other person a lot of money? I have been chatting to a guy that really wants to meet me but lives 200 miles away, I only play at mine but do not accom overnight, he says he will pay to stay in a hotel but being a seaside town the cheapest room is £50 so added to approx £80 petrol this really mounts up, so I have told him no as I don't think it is fair on him and I can't help him out cost wise (not that he has asked) as I am on a low income |
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"Has anyone turned down a meet as it would cost the other person a lot of money? I have been chatting to a guy that really wants to meet me but lives 200 miles away, I only play at mine but do not accom overnight, he says he will pay to stay in a hotel but being a seaside town the cheapest room is £50 so added to approx £80 petrol this really mounts up, so I have told him no as I don't think it is fair on him and I can't help him out cost wise (not that he has asked) as I am on a low income"
i havnt but i would do the same. i dont want to be guilty or obligated.
i would suggest we got together at a social or club night sometime(this kept me very busy last time i went to the pussy posse party lol).That way the expense wouldnt be soley to meet me and i would feel relaxed, especially if i discovered i didnt want to play with him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know where you're coming from
A trip of such a degree, to me, comes with a degree of expectation.
It is that expectation I would be uncomfortable with as opposed to the associated expense.
If you live at the seaside maybe suggest he makes a weekend of it another time, travel down with friends but agree on having some social time with you away from them.
If you both click, then brill, he can come back down another time.
If you don't, what has he lost ?
He has had a couple of days away with his mates and some pleasant female company to boot.
Plus there is no expectation on your part then to entertain for the whole weekend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive turned meets down on the grounds of distance, I wouldnt expect someone to drive too far to meet me, as I wouldnt want to feel obliged to play cos i felt like I owed them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's the same with clubs.
Fuel to get there and back.
The fee to get in.
Plus any other things you need buy for preparing to go the club/meet.
This government doesn't like swingers  |
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"Ive turned meets down on the grounds of distance, I wouldnt expect someone to drive too far to meet me, as I wouldnt want to feel obliged to play cos i felt like I owed them"
+1 - we turn down quite a lot like this. And as for travelling to them - I'm a lazy mare, 30-45 mins is my max (preferably less) - so I figure that anything more from them wouldn't be fair. If someone's in the area anyway, it's a different ballgame. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A few times a day to be honest. I will never let someone come to me that is more than about 45 mins drive away..
Simply because I think its unfair... as I know how much just fuel would cost.
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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op I totally agree with your post and you are registered blind, like I am, so it makes it impossible to travel to them. I only meet at clubs I know and that they are already members of. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Couldn't u meet him halfway ??? I've travelled up to meet guy before n was well worth it he's one in million.  "
As Dark Fairy says, I am registered blind, so traveling is not an option for me and is the reason I only meet at home as it is familiar territory |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i dont like guys traveling to far to meet me, 2 hours + is just to far for a first meet and even tho they are willing to do it i dont like the idea just incase i dont like them
So yes i would turn down a meet based on how far they have to travel and if its going to cost them a lot |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i dont like guys traveling to far to meet me, 2 hours + is just to far for a first meet and even tho they are willing to do it i dont like the idea just incase i dont like them
So yes i would turn down a meet based on how far they have to travel and if its going to cost them a lot"
this happened to me bout 4/5 years back
chatted to a bloke in edinburgh for weeks on end, online and on the phone.
he came down for a weekend but as soon as i picked him up at the station i knew it was a mistake - and i think the same was the case for him.
we had nothing in common, or what we did have we has already chatted about on the phone.
let's just say the weekend was 'awkward' and what sex there was was dreadful and it ended up with us sleeping in seperate rooms
it still makes me cringe to this day
am with the OP now - they all go home come bedtime, end of ! |
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"op I totally agree with your post and you are registered blind, like I am, so it makes it impossible to travel to them. I only meet at clubs I know and that they are already members of. "
Bloody hell getting like a RNIB convention on here now days lol, and before you string me up I am a member too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes. We turned down a meet from a guy who wanted us to pay his taxis"
I pay enough bloody taxes of my own, never mind paying a meets taxes  
Oh.... oppppps, you said 'taxis'  ....still wouldn't pay though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we get messages from guys the other end of Ireland some of them 4 or 5 hours away.
we wonder if they can not get a meet nearer to home what is wrong with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i remember years ago when i was still pretty new to this meeting a guy who had traveled a fair way and he had booked a hotel room too, when we met i really didnt like him, but cause i was new and nervous i was scared to say i didnt want to go back to his hotel, because he had traveled a long way and paid a lot in petrol and room etc so i went back anyway out of obligation i guess
It was horrible i just lay there cringing as he was touching me thinking...please hurry up
I went home and scrubbed myself in the shower for about half a hour
I remember thinking...well if this is what its all about im not meeting anyone again, and i didnt for ages
When i did meet again i set some solid rules for myself, never let anyone book a room before we have met, never meet anyone who isnt local and never shag anyone i dont like lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it depends on the circumstances of the people involved. I would travel a distance but then I like driving and I never travel with an expectancy.
I know some people get on well on the phone and online but in person its different. It's a chance ill take.
As long as boundaries are set from the outset and people respect each other there should be no issues.  |
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This is a small country and some of us travel all over it in the course of our work, on expenses. Meeting someone a long way from home for me certainly brings with it no more expectation than I would have if it were a local meeting. If I'm heading for a city I might check to see if there is anyone interesting there, doesn't mean I can't find anyone at home, only that I'm rarely there
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do feel really guilty about it, ive been enjoying the company of a gent who lives about 4 hours away and he wants to visit me.. for selfish reasons naturally id love his company, but its a heck of a distance and i do feel guilty.
was tempted to tell him to not bother coming down because of it, but he was adamant and insisted he wouldn't have suggested it if he wasn't comfortable with the cost of petrol and the time involved in traveling |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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IMHO, if the other person is fully aware of the distance involved, the time it would take for the journey, hotel cost, meal cost, etc. etc., and he is still willing to go ahead with the meet, then why say no?!
I am not comfortable about it myself, and would insist on the other person to think more carefully and re-consider all the factors.
However, if he still thinks meeting me is worth the time, effort and cost involved, then I am not going say no!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"With all due respect to the OP, I'm sure she's a hugely attractive woman, but.......... how come a guy has to travel 200 miles for some fun?? "
because sometimes people just 'click' if its quality not quantity then why not travel if things are compatible. I'm sure its not just a flit and after one message he's suggested it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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no, we havent that way round... but we have the other way around.. couple messaged us from newcastle, wouldnt travel, wouldnt accom over night but wanted us to travel up there and pay for a hotel.. no thanks..your hot but your not that hot lol...
but we accom over night so if anyone wants to travel to us we have no problem with how far they want to travel.. the further they travel the more likely we are to take them out into town for dinner show them around abit.. make their trip worth while ( if thats what they fancy)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"With all due respect to the OP, I'm sure she's a hugely attractive woman, but.......... how come a guy has to travel 200 miles for some fun?? "
Because he wants to?? this site isnt just about the sexual experiance for everyone on here |
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