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"Fake profiles? One half of a couple tolerating the sexual preferences of the other? They actually like it that way?" I appreciate there's not a one size fits all answer and I'm not judging their preferences I was just curious as to why it does/doesn't work. | |||
"Sorry rubes im of no help here" It's OK Jim I'll let you off. | |||
"Ahhhhh the old couple ploy. Well as we all know the majority of these dodgy profiles are well excercised ploys by single men to entice other couples or single ladies into sexi times and the sharing of the so called tributing photos They can also be called con artists and many have been reported. Seriously though the number of profiles like that that have contacted me , the wife always seems to be out shopping or at her mothers. Either way they will get caught out " Yeah there are definitely a fair few of those but I mean the genuine ones who do meet separately. | |||
"Sorry rubes im of no help here It's OK Jim I'll let you off. " i watched bulseye yesterday still dont here it | |||
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"Where's Queenie? She'll explain " Yes! She's my target market! | |||
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"As a couple we have met a few other couples where the man is happy for the woman to go and fuck other men , we both only play together though separate rooms sometimes!" It does seem to be more women than men who do it yet the general consensus is that men have a higher sex drive. | |||
"Trying to second guess motivation on fab, you'll go crazy pretty one..." I'm just curious, I don't need a definitive answer. | |||
"Ahhhhh the old couple ploy. Well as we all know the majority of these dodgy profiles are well excercised ploys by single men to entice other couples or single ladies into sexi times and the sharing of the so called tributing photos They can also be called con artists and many have been reported. Seriously though the number of profiles like that that have contacted me , the wife always seems to be out shopping or at her mothers. Either way they will get caught out Yeah there are definitely a fair few of those but I mean the genuine ones who do meet separately. " Wifey doesn’t know?? Or hubby does but is too afraid to partake ? I know there are stronger characters in every relationship. For example I met a couple last year. The wife wanted to experience a MMf full on where her hubby partook in a bit of how’s your father with me. We had met previously socially and got on well. Anyway when the deed started and she saw what her hubby and I were doing she asked us to stop as it was freaking her out now all we were doing was orally challenging each other but I respected her wish and stopped. Moral of the story maybe some things aren’t for everyone Perhaps ? Maybe ? | |||
"As a couple we have met a few other couples where the man is happy for the woman to go and fuck other men , we both only play together though separate rooms sometimes! It does seem to be more women than men who do it yet the general consensus is that men have a higher sex drive. " I have a higher sex drive than the wife | |||
"Because life happens and we've found what works for us. It's not harder to maintain trust - we've always had a very open level of communication regarding this sort of thing. I think the trust is either there or it isn't to some extent." Yeah that makes sense, you need a strong foundation before even considering swinging at a basic "wife swap" level. | |||
"We have a cpls profile and a single one for Mrs as we line the hotwife / stag / vixen lifestyle Works fir us as a single fem will get more mail and Mrs can chat away to guys she likes On cpls we chat to all and would meet as cpl x" What do you get from it if/when she meets alone? Is it a sense of pride? Excitement of what she will come home and tell you? | |||
"Me and the wife have separate accounts and she plays all the time, I dont manage to play no one wants me " women always do better | |||
"We only meet males, but hubby is always involved, but not with the males. He enjoys seeing me with other men, I like the fact that he does. Its win win. But there are so many variations and often people don't read profile and assume we both play. I know couples profiles can get bad rep for being fake but theres so many fakers and dreamers anyway. Jo x " Have you ever considered meeting alone or would that change the dynamic too much? Is him being there a big part of the turn on? | |||
"I've noticed there are plenty of couples on here where only one half meets and I wondered why that was? What does the other person get out of it? Is it harder to maintain trust in that situation? " It's a simple factor (in the case of non fakes) of dynamics. I've known quite a few couples over the years where they meet separately, I was in a couple with that dynamic for 2 years. For me, it was a strange mix of pride, envy and the knowledge that the 'reclamation' sex was always amazing. It's a hard thing to explain but the knowledge that you don't own the other person, they're truly free to do what they want but choose you every time is incredibly reassuring and stabilising in an open and trusting relationship. That's without getting into cuck dynamics of course. Tea | |||
"Ahhhhh the old couple ploy. Well as we all know the majority of these dodgy profiles are well excercised ploys by single men to entice other couples or single ladies into sexi times and the sharing of the so called tributing photos They can also be called con artists and many have been reported. Seriously though the number of profiles like that that have contacted me , the wife always seems to be out shopping or at her mothers. Either way they will get caught out Yeah there are definitely a fair few of those but I mean the genuine ones who do meet separately. Wifey doesn’t know?? Or hubby does but is too afraid to partake ? I know there are stronger characters in every relationship. For example I met a couple last year. The wife wanted to experience a MMf full on where her hubby partook in a bit of how’s your father with me. We had met previously socially and got on well. Anyway when the deed started and she saw what her hubby and I were doing she asked us to stop as it was freaking her out now all we were doing was orally challenging each other but I respected her wish and stopped. Moral of the story maybe some things aren’t for everyone Perhaps ? Maybe ?" I guess in that way it's a bit like a social activity for one of them? They love golf, the wife doesn't so he goes to play and she doesn't. | |||
"As a couple we have met a few other couples where the man is happy for the woman to go and fuck other men , we both only play together though separate rooms sometimes! It does seem to be more women than men who do it yet the general consensus is that men have a higher sex drive. I have a higher sex drive than the wife " Does it frustrate you then when she has more sex than you? | |||
"For me, it was a strange mix of pride, envy and the knowledge that the 'reclamation' sex was always amazing. It's a hard thing to explain but the knowledge that you don't own the other person, they're truly free to do what they want but choose you every time is incredibly reassuring and stabilising in an open and trusting relationship. Tea" Oh this is such a perfect description Tea. Nice one. | |||
"We only meet males, but hubby is always involved, but not with the males. He enjoys seeing me with other men, I like the fact that he does. Its win win. But there are so many variations and often people don't read profile and assume we both play. I know couples profiles can get bad rep for being fake but theres so many fakers and dreamers anyway. Jo x Have you ever considered meeting alone or would that change the dynamic too much? Is him being there a big part of the turn on? " Talked about it yes, it may well happen but it wouldn't be a regular thing for us I don't think. Have talked about meeting guys on my own we have both met before. Jo x | |||
"I've noticed there are plenty of couples on here where only one half meets and I wondered why that was? What does the other person get out of it? Is it harder to maintain trust in that situation? It's a simple factor (in the case of non fakes) of dynamics. I've known quite a few couples over the years where they meet separately, I was in a couple with that dynamic for 2 years. For me, it was a strange mix of pride, envy and the knowledge that the 'reclamation' sex was always amazing. It's a hard thing to explain but the knowledge that you don't own the other person, they're truly free to do what they want but choose you every time is incredibly reassuring and stabilising in an open and trusting relationship. That's without getting into cuck dynamics of course. Tea" Yes I was ignoring the fake ones! That does make sense, they're sharing bodies but not emotions so it is quite freeing. | |||
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"We are a couple and we wouldn't be interested in meeting separately" What is it that puts you off? | |||
"I've noticed there are plenty of couples on here where only one half meets and I wondered why that was? What does the other person get out of it? Is it harder to maintain trust in that situation? It's a simple factor (in the case of non fakes) of dynamics. I've known quite a few couples over the years where they meet separately, I was in a couple with that dynamic for 2 years. For me, it was a strange mix of pride, envy and the knowledge that the 'reclamation' sex was always amazing. It's a hard thing to explain but the knowledge that you don't own the other person, they're truly free to do what they want but choose you every time is incredibly reassuring and stabilising in an open and trusting relationship. That's without getting into cuck dynamics of course. Tea Yes I was ignoring the fake ones! That does make sense, they're sharing bodies but not emotions so it is quite freeing. " Yes, the fact that it's 'just sex' is the basis of any swinging relationship, the further dynamics and emotions can be complex though. Each couple will have subtle variations on general themes as to what works for them. Understanding those, for me, was more difficult until I lived it and understood it for myself. Tea | |||
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"I've noticed there are plenty of couples on here where only one half meets and I wondered why that was? What does the other person get out of it? Is it harder to maintain trust in that situation? " Great question OP. We started our journey (I know, very x factor) thinking we would always play together, but quickly discovered that me going out alone is very hot too! It was partly due to convenience - difficult to go out together due to kids - so we thought we'd try it, I'd get pics and vids, and if we hated it we wouldn't do it again. Loved it! The sex we have when I come home is incredible - that sense of reconnecting and relieving all the details. Mr can chip in with what exactly it does for him. I think trust is crucial whether you meet separately or not, plus talk talk talk - just because it works for you at the moment, doesn't mean it always will. We always say if it stops being fun for one of us, then we'll stop. Our own relationship always comes first. Mrs TMN x | |||
"We are a couple and we wouldn't be interested in meeting separately What is it that puts you off? " It's not something we have ever wanted to do, this is still quite new to us both, being honest I'm not interested in full sex with another man as its women I'm interested in. And part of the thrill I get is from my hubby and a female/couple there all playing | |||
"I've noticed there are plenty of couples on here where only one half meets and I wondered why that was? What does the other person get out of it? Is it harder to maintain trust in that situation? It's a simple factor (in the case of non fakes) of dynamics. I've known quite a few couples over the years where they meet separately, I was in a couple with that dynamic for 2 years. For me, it was a strange mix of pride, envy and the knowledge that the 'reclamation' sex was always amazing. It's a hard thing to explain but the knowledge that you don't own the other person, they're truly free to do what they want but choose you every time is incredibly reassuring and stabilising in an open and trusting relationship. That's without getting into cuck dynamics of course. Tea Yes I was ignoring the fake ones! That does make sense, they're sharing bodies but not emotions so it is quite freeing. Yes, the fact that it's 'just sex' is the basis of any swinging relationship, the further dynamics and emotions can be complex though. Each couple will have subtle variations on general themes as to what works for them. Understanding those, for me, was more difficult until I lived it and understood it for myself. Tea" Yeah I totally understand that, it will be different for each couple as are many parts of a relationship. | |||
"I've noticed there are plenty of couples on here where only one half meets and I wondered why that was? What does the other person get out of it? Is it harder to maintain trust in that situation? Great question OP. We started our journey (I know, very x factor) thinking we would always play together, but quickly discovered that me going out alone is very hot too! It was partly due to convenience - difficult to go out together due to kids - so we thought we'd try it, I'd get pics and vids, and if we hated it we wouldn't do it again. Loved it! The sex we have when I come home is incredible - that sense of reconnecting and relieving all the details. Mr can chip in with what exactly it does for him. I think trust is crucial whether you meet separately or not, plus talk talk talk - just because it works for you at the moment, doesn't mean it always will. We always say if it stops being fun for one of us, then we'll stop. Our own relationship always comes first. Mrs TMN x" I should say, we meet together too | |||
"Because life happens and we've found what works for us. It's not harder to maintain trust - we've always had a very open level of communication regarding this sort of thing. I think the trust is either there or it isn't to some extent." This rings true for us | |||
"I gain nothing from it apart from a twisted up head and a sense of despair. If we're together I'm sound but separate is a whole different ball game and one that knocks me physically sick. Being so far apart most of the time, we don't have the opportunity to partake in reclamation sex which many people say is an integral part of swinging separately and something that makes a lot of sense to me. We don't live together, our time is very limited and to be sharing that limited time with someone else seems like a bum deal to me, like I'm getting cast aside. I'm aware I have internal work to do! I've seen so many people ignore any "moral code" and not care who's lives they destroy in the process of getting their rocks off, sneaky devious behaviour, lies and manipulation, that yes, I trust B completely but other people I can't say the same for. I don't meet others alone as I've no real desire to, but my main reason is this. If I met someone and they caused trouble or brought drama into our lives I'd struggle to forgive myself for putting us in that position. I could absolutely understand and feel totally relaxed, secure and confident if there was a kink or something B was into that I had no interest in, the thought of him partaking in something with someone else there doesn't phase me, providing it was something I'd already tried and really didn't enjoy. P" That makes sense, I would be the same, questioning why he would choose to spend what little time we had with someone else. But yes, reclamation sex I understand and can imagine how intense that would be. | |||
"I've noticed there are plenty of couples on here where only one half meets and I wondered why that was? What does the other person get out of it? Is it harder to maintain trust in that situation? It's a simple factor (in the case of non fakes) of dynamics. I've known quite a few couples over the years where they meet separately, I was in a couple with that dynamic for 2 years. For me, it was a strange mix of pride, envy and the knowledge that the 'reclamation' sex was always amazing. It's a hard thing to explain but the knowledge that you don't own the other person, they're truly free to do what they want but choose you every time is incredibly reassuring and stabilising in an open and trusting relationship. That's without getting into cuck dynamics of course. Tea" Oh this is a great explanation | |||
"I've noticed there are plenty of couples on here where only one half meets and I wondered why that was? What does the other person get out of it? Is it harder to maintain trust in that situation? Great question OP. We started our journey (I know, very x factor) thinking we would always play together, but quickly discovered that me going out alone is very hot too! It was partly due to convenience - difficult to go out together due to kids - so we thought we'd try it, I'd get pics and vids, and if we hated it we wouldn't do it again. Loved it! The sex we have when I come home is incredible - that sense of reconnecting and relieving all the details. Mr can chip in with what exactly it does for him. I think trust is crucial whether you meet separately or not, plus talk talk talk - just because it works for you at the moment, doesn't mean it always will. We always say if it stops being fun for one of us, then we'll stop. Our own relationship always comes first. Mrs TMN x" Do you have a sob story we can play at the start of this? Logistics seems to play a part for quite a few couples, like this way they still get to experience the thrill of swinging without having to wait weeks or months to get a babysitter. | |||
"As a couple we have met a few other couples where the man is happy for the woman to go and fuck other men , we both only play together though separate rooms sometimes! It does seem to be more women than men who do it yet the general consensus is that men have a higher sex drive. " Think it is more to do with opportunity on here. Mrs is out on a girls night out tomorrow and I have been winding her up all week about putting up a status that says "only Male available meet now" she has jokingly said go ahead as she knows there will be no takers. Now if she was to do the same thing our inbox would be inundated within seconds. | |||
"We are a couple and we wouldn't be interested in meeting separately What is it that puts you off? It's not something we have ever wanted to do, this is still quite new to us both, being honest I'm not interested in full sex with another man as its women I'm interested in. And part of the thrill I get is from my hubby and a female/couple there all playing" So it's more about sharing your sex life with others with you both participating. | |||
"As a couple we have met a few other couples where the man is happy for the woman to go and fuck other men , we both only play together though separate rooms sometimes! It does seem to be more women than men who do it yet the general consensus is that men have a higher sex drive. Think it is more to do with opportunity on here. Mrs is out on a girls night out tomorrow and I have been winding her up all week about putting up a status that says "only Male available meet now" she has jokingly said go ahead as she knows there will be no takers. Now if she was to do the same thing our inbox would be inundated within seconds." Definitely, women are in high demand here! | |||
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"I've noticed there are plenty of couples on here where only one half meets and I wondered why that was? What does the other person get out of it? Is it harder to maintain trust in that situation? Great question OP. We started our journey (I know, very x factor) thinking we would always play together, but quickly discovered that me going out alone is very hot too! It was partly due to convenience - difficult to go out together due to kids - so we thought we'd try it, I'd get pics and vids, and if we hated it we wouldn't do it again. Loved it! The sex we have when I come home is incredible - that sense of reconnecting and relieving all the details. Mr can chip in with what exactly it does for him. I think trust is crucial whether you meet separately or not, plus talk talk talk - just because it works for you at the moment, doesn't mean it always will. We always say if it stops being fun for one of us, then we'll stop. Our own relationship always comes first. Mrs TMN x Do you have a sob story we can play at the start of this? "It was a cold autumn night. I was pissed and flirting with my pal. She asked if I'd heard of fab. And so it began..." Logistics seems to play a part for quite a few couples, like this way they still get to experience the thrill of swinging without having to wait weeks or months to get a babysitter. " Absolutely. There are things we do together - on the kink side, I wouldn't want to be completely submissive without him there, from a safety and an emotional perspective. So if we have to wait a few months, so be it. But for a straight up fuck? I get fucked, we have great sex after, he gets some private porn to watch - it's win win! | |||
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"We are a couple and we wouldn't be interested in meeting separately What is it that puts you off? It's not something we have ever wanted to do, this is still quite new to us both, being honest I'm not interested in full sex with another man as its women I'm interested in. And part of the thrill I get is from my hubby and a female/couple there all playing So it's more about sharing your sex life with others with you both participating. " Yes that's probably a good way of putting it, we was hoping for one of those mysterious unicorns but we got talking to another couple and that worked out for us all, ground rules established and we all had a great night. Maybe in future I might play solo but only with another female though | |||
"R wasn't on Fab when she was with her ex, but she often played separately to him - hotwifed in fact. The reason was she was much more highly sexed than him and needed more, he was fine about that as long as she didn't bring her men and women friends home. He didn't want to know any details afterwards. There must be many couples with different sex-drives, it's good when both in the relationship are happy with that. " Definitely, it shows great strength and trust to allow your partner to be themselves, I can imagine how frustrating it would be for both parties if they had differing sex drives but this way they both get what they need which in turn protects their relationship. | |||
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"It's not something we have ever understood, other than different people like different things. Dot's explanation is the first I have heard that makes sense to me (Luke), so I thank you for it. Having said that, I am perfectly happy for Hannah to have experiences with women, and the ones she's had haven't involved me in any way. Likewise, she would be quite happy for me to have an experience with a man but that desire for anything same-sex is considerably lower with me and I've hardly gone down that route. When it comes to opposite-sex experiences, we want to explore that together. I feel an enhanced closeness to each other by being together when others are involved that would be absent if one of us went somewhere else for sex. " At first I wondered why the sex of the person was important but then I guess it's because it's not something you can experience together, you can't suddenly grow a vagina and let her experience FF interactions! | |||
"you mean the ones where they message you to say my wife said its ok i can play with you or the ones that pretend they are the wife offering or asking if you will go with the husband ... insant block everytime" I meant the genuine ones | |||
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"It's not something we have ever understood, other than different people like different things. Dot's explanation is the first I have heard that makes sense to me (Luke), so I thank you for it. Having said that, I am perfectly happy for Hannah to have experiences with women, and the ones she's had haven't involved me in any way. Likewise, she would be quite happy for me to have an experience with a man but that desire for anything same-sex is considerably lower with me and I've hardly gone down that route. When it comes to opposite-sex experiences, we want to explore that together. I feel an enhanced closeness to each other by being together when others are involved that would be absent if one of us went somewhere else for sex. At first I wondered why the sex of the person was important but then I guess it's because it's not something you can experience together, you can't suddenly grow a vagina and let her experience FF interactions! " That's a big aspect of it. Our guiding principle is whatever we do with others must not be to the detriment of our relationship. We both know I'm not going to leave her for a man and I have total confidence she's not going to leave me for a woman, partly because we are both more into the opposite sex than the same. And to be a bit more pervy about it, I find it an astonishing turn-on when she tells me she's had sex with a woman, especially since I know that woman socially and we all talk quite openly that it happened! | |||
" genuine holy moly woman your on the wrong site " Why's that? We're all on here for different reasons. The couples all have different dynamics that work for them, I was just curious about this one as it's not something I've experienced. I'd say I was on the right site if I can post threads like this and speak to people who are actually living it. | |||
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"Yes we’ve seen a lot of the male only free for whatever reason, then the suspect profile and no verifications. " There's definitely a few of them around. I find it interesting though that the genuine couples seem to lean toward it being the female who meets alone rather than the male. | |||
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"It's not something we have ever understood, other than different people like different things. Dot's explanation is the first I have heard that makes sense to me (Luke), so I thank you for it. Having said that, I am perfectly happy for Hannah to have experiences with women, and the ones she's had haven't involved me in any way. Likewise, she would be quite happy for me to have an experience with a man but that desire for anything same-sex is considerably lower with me and I've hardly gone down that route. When it comes to opposite-sex experiences, we want to explore that together. I feel an enhanced closeness to each other by being together when others are involved that would be absent if one of us went somewhere else for sex. At first I wondered why the sex of the person was important but then I guess it's because it's not something you can experience together, you can't suddenly grow a vagina and let her experience FF interactions! That's a big aspect of it. Our guiding principle is whatever we do with others must not be to the detriment of our relationship. We both know I'm not going to leave her for a man and I have total confidence she's not going to leave me for a woman, partly because we are both more into the opposite sex than the same. And to be a bit more pervy about it, I find it an astonishing turn-on when she tells me she's had sex with a woman, especially since I know that woman socially and we all talk quite openly that it happened!" I can see how that would be a turn on, you know what happened but you didn't see it so your imagination will be in overdrive. | |||
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"As a single I am probably not the best person to comment but fuckit. My understanding has always been that swinging is part of life not the whole of life and this is probably true of a relationship, in that sex is part of a relationship not the whole of the relationship. Depending on how you view sex will impact how willing/unwilling you are for your partner to indulge with/without you. If you see it as a recreational activity then you are more inclined to share or be unphased by your partner having sex with someone else (after all I can’t always make ballroom dance lessons, but does that mean my imaginary partner shouldn’t go and dance with someone else?) It is the other elements of a relationship in the above scenario that create the “couple”, things that swinging can not replace. Sex, like dancing or crochet is a hobby and who doesn’t like to see and know that the person they love is living a full life? " Absolutely. It makes sense that for some it is completely separate to their relationship. When you think of being single and having one night stands the sex is just for fun so it's something you enjoy, some just carry on enjoying it whilst also having a loving relationship with someone else. | |||
"We would only meet as a couple... it’s most fun when you’re both there! " So on the back of Decadent_Devon's post would you say you don't see sex as separate to your relationship? Although you are having sex with other people you are both there so it is a shared experience as part of your sex life together? | |||
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"As a single I am probably not the best person to comment but fuckit. My understanding has always been that swinging is part of life not the whole of life and this is probably true of a relationship, in that sex is part of a relationship not the whole of the relationship. Depending on how you view sex will impact how willing/unwilling you are for your partner to indulge with/without you. If you see it as a recreational activity then you are more inclined to share or be unphased by your partner having sex with someone else (after all I can’t always make ballroom dance lessons, but does that mean my imaginary partner shouldn’t go and dance with someone else?) It is the other elements of a relationship in the above scenario that create the “couple”, things that swinging can not replace. Sex, like dancing or crochet is a hobby and who doesn’t like to see and know that the person they love is living a full life? " Now I can understand where you're coming from here. But what about when their dance partner is sending messages during a romantic dinner with your partner? When you and your partner are snuggled in bed? Would you think hang on, this isn't part of the deal? What about if their dance partner is enticing them to engage in other dances that aren't ballroom, or go to more dance classes a week, at other dance studios. Would you be comfortable with that? If they are meant to just be dancing, but hang on, it's more than just going to dance class once a week/month/year. It's spending hours messaging over the course of the week, it's learning each others most intimate desires and what makes each other tick, it's getting inside each others minds and wanting to give each other nothing but pleasure, closeness and the feeling that they're the only 2 people on the planet at that moment in time.... your partner wants to do those things with you but you fancy a change, so they're left doing the dishes. P | |||
"Although there's elements of her going off for a meet without me that I find hot I don't think we would actually do it as we would find it even hotter to meet a guy together. So why do the less hot thing I guess." So you fit somewhere in the middle then, you could separate sex from emotions and have her meeting without you but you prefer not to because sharing turns you on more. | |||
"nothing more horny going home to the man you love and telling him what you have done and then watch him become so turned on too been doing it nearly 25 years now .... we are solid as a rock because its alway been what we both wanted no 40/60 30/70 always 50/50 most of those years were bi play and hotwife now its cuckold lifes never boring " Why do you think your relationship has changed then? How did you end up as a cuckold couple? | |||
"Also with us Red is happy with just my penis if she's having one at a time, there's not really any desire for others one on one. So meeting other guys would be about her having more than one penis at a time which would typically mean me plus another. " See that was part of my curiosity. Why would I meet a man when I have one at home who knows exactly how to press my buttons? | |||
"Also with us Red is happy with just my penis if she's having one at a time, there's not really any desire for others one on one. So meeting other guys would be about her having more than one penis at a time which would typically mean me plus another. See that was part of my curiosity. Why would I meet a man when I have one at home who knows exactly how to press my buttons? " Yeah exactly, so that along with the fact we find it hotter for me to be there too is why we would probably not do it. But never say never. | |||
"Where's Queenie? She'll explain " She was napping! Turns my husband on if I fuck other men Doesn’t turn me on him being with anyone else. Simple | |||
"Where's Queenie? She'll explain She was napping! Turns my husband on if I fuck other men Doesn’t turn me on him being with anyone else. Simple " And I wouldn’t say it’s harder to maintain trust, I dunno it’s weird to explain. It’s not something we’ve ever had to discuss because we trust each other fully (I know it’s more about him trusting me, but yeah) | |||
"Also with us Red is happy with just my penis if she's having one at a time, there's not really any desire for others one on one. So meeting other guys would be about her having more than one penis at a time which would typically mean me plus another. See that was part of my curiosity. Why would I meet a man when I have one at home who knows exactly how to press my buttons? " To affirm that choice? To get them worked up for an even hotter reunion? Statistically there isn't only one person that can push those buttons, even if you prefer that a specific person does. But statistics don't account for feelings & preferences. | |||
"Where's Queenie? She'll explain She was napping! Turns my husband on if I fuck other men Doesn’t turn me on him being with anyone else. Simple And I wouldn’t say it’s harder to maintain trust, I dunno it’s weird to explain. It’s not something we’ve ever had to discuss because we trust each other fully (I know it’s more about him trusting me, but yeah) " How about if you didn't live together, weren't married and only saw each other every month or so? Do you think you'd continue or do you think it has the potential to damage what you have? Would he still feel the same? P | |||
"nothing more horny going home to the man you love and telling him what you have done and then watch him become so turned on too been doing it nearly 25 years now .... we are solid as a rock because its alway been what we both wanted no 40/60 30/70 always 50/50 most of those years were bi play and hotwife now its cuckold lifes never boring Why do you think your relationship has changed then? How did you end up as a cuckold couple? " from hotwife to cuckold well he had major heart probs and other health probs that it affected him in the erection department so to cut a long story short he asked if we could try cuckold as its not a million miles from hotwife and he was not ready to lose a sex life so we tried it and he found it very hot i found it very hot so we dived in and 2 years in still doing and loving it we were alway a very adventurous couple never shy or afraid to try anything | |||
"As a single I am probably not the best person to comment but fuckit. My understanding has always been that swinging is part of life not the whole of life and this is probably true of a relationship, in that sex is part of a relationship not the whole of the relationship. Depending on how you view sex will impact how willing/unwilling you are for your partner to indulge with/without you. If you see it as a recreational activity then you are more inclined to share or be unphased by your partner having sex with someone else (after all I can’t always make ballroom dance lessons, but does that mean my imaginary partner shouldn’t go and dance with someone else?) It is the other elements of a relationship in the above scenario that create the “couple”, things that swinging can not replace. Sex, like dancing or crochet is a hobby and who doesn’t like to see and know that the person they love is living a full life? Now I can understand where you're coming from here. But what about when their dance partner is sending messages during a romantic dinner with your partner? When you and your partner are snuggled in bed? Would you think hang on, this isn't part of the deal? What about if their dance partner is enticing them to engage in other dances that aren't ballroom, or go to more dance classes a week, at other dance studios. Would you be comfortable with that? If they are meant to just be dancing, but hang on, it's more than just going to dance class once a week/month/year. It's spending hours messaging over the course of the week, it's learning each others most intimate desires and what makes each other tick, it's getting inside each others minds and wanting to give each other nothing but pleasure, closeness and the feeling that they're the only 2 people on the planet at that moment in time.... your partner wants to do those things with you but you fancy a change, so they're left doing the dishes. P" I think that's where it comes down to boundaries and communication within the relationship. Establishing and building a connection, to some, is an important part and thrill of the meet. Making sure there's a balance is the key. In my experience, I never saw it as any different really than chatting to friends, she would share the conversation with me and I with her. We had boundaries about what we were comfortable with each other sharing with meets which was all part of the trust. Tea | |||
"Also with us Red is happy with just my penis if she's having one at a time, there's not really any desire for others one on one. So meeting other guys would be about her having more than one penis at a time which would typically mean me plus another. See that was part of my curiosity. Why would I meet a man when I have one at home who knows exactly how to press my buttons? " Cause it’s bloody fun, why not? When me and C got married I had only been with him and I fully expected that to be the case until I died (or something happened and we split up) and I was happy with that. I don’t even know if I’m really suitable to answer cause I have been ‘swinging’ for a year now and am totally unsure if I will again. | |||
"Where's Queenie? She'll explain She was napping! Turns my husband on if I fuck other men Doesn’t turn me on him being with anyone else. Simple And I wouldn’t say it’s harder to maintain trust, I dunno it’s weird to explain. It’s not something we’ve ever had to discuss because we trust each other fully (I know it’s more about him trusting me, but yeah) How about if you didn't live together, weren't married and only saw each other every month or so? Do you think you'd continue or do you think it has the potential to damage what you have? Would he still feel the same? P" I honestly couldn’t say. I know he would still feel the same way, but seeing as we’ve lived together since I was sixteen (well pretty much since I was fourteen) then I genuinely have no idea. Since the age of sixteen I have spent one night apart from him, and that was the night before our wedding. So I don’t know. | |||
"Cause it’s bloody fun, why not?" My last meet went back to her husband soaking & horny as hell - all the better for him. He sent me a lovely message the next day. | |||
"Also with us Red is happy with just my penis if she's having one at a time, there's not really any desire for others one on one. So meeting other guys would be about her having more than one penis at a time which would typically mean me plus another. See that was part of my curiosity. Why would I meet a man when I have one at home who knows exactly how to press my buttons? " For me, it wasn't just about meeting someone else, it was about the thrill of being together again afterwards. If it's *just* about meeting the other person then I can see your point, although sometimes meeting someone new is fun in itself. It also involves and revolves around your partner in many situations, it's about the thrill that they get from it which you both feed off. Tea | |||
"As a single I am probably not the best person to comment but fuckit. My understanding has always been that swinging is part of life not the whole of life and this is probably true of a relationship, in that sex is part of a relationship not the whole of the relationship. Depending on how you view sex will impact how willing/unwilling you are for your partner to indulge with/without you. If you see it as a recreational activity then you are more inclined to share or be unphased by your partner having sex with someone else (after all I can’t always make ballroom dance lessons, but does that mean my imaginary partner shouldn’t go and dance with someone else?) It is the other elements of a relationship in the above scenario that create the “couple”, things that swinging can not replace. Sex, like dancing or crochet is a hobby and who doesn’t like to see and know that the person they love is living a full life? Now I can understand where you're coming from here. But what about when their dance partner is sending messages during a romantic dinner with your partner? When you and your partner are snuggled in bed? Would you think hang on, this isn't part of the deal? What about if their dance partner is enticing them to engage in other dances that aren't ballroom, or go to more dance classes a week, at other dance studios. Would you be comfortable with that? If they are meant to just be dancing, but hang on, it's more than just going to dance class once a week/month/year. It's spending hours messaging over the course of the week, it's learning each others most intimate desires and what makes each other tick, it's getting inside each others minds and wanting to give each other nothing but pleasure, closeness and the feeling that they're the only 2 people on the planet at that moment in time.... your partner wants to do those things with you but you fancy a change, so they're left doing the dishes. P I think that's where it comes down to boundaries and communication within the relationship. Establishing and building a connection, to some, is an important part and thrill of the meet. Making sure there's a balance is the key. In my experience, I never saw it as any different really than chatting to friends, she would share the conversation with me and I with her. We had boundaries about what we were comfortable with each other sharing with meets which was all part of the trust. Tea" Sorry I known I'm nit picking about the negatives but these are things that pop in my noggin. Let's say you had a great meet, that person seemed sound but then things start going bad. They're telling lies about convos you may have had, things that happened during the meet. You know they're lies but now your partner is in a daze. She wants to believe you but has been lied to many times in the past and swore she would never let herself end up in a position again where she's questioning what's real and what's not. Would you feel like shit for putting her in that position or would you simply feel it's a case of "well if you love me, you'd trust me? If you really knew me, you'd know I'd not so those things?" Coz she heard that plenty times whilst being lied to in the past by others. P | |||
"Also with us Red is happy with just my penis if she's having one at a time, there's not really any desire for others one on one. So meeting other guys would be about her having more than one penis at a time which would typically mean me plus another. See that was part of my curiosity. Why would I meet a man when I have one at home who knows exactly how to press my buttons? For me, it wasn't just about meeting someone else, it was about the thrill of being together again afterwards. If it's *just* about meeting the other person then I can see your point, although sometimes meeting someone new is fun in itself. It also involves and revolves around your partner in many situations, it's about the thrill that they get from it which you both feed off. Tea" You know how to word things when I don’t | |||
"As a single I am probably not the best person to comment but fuckit. My understanding has always been that swinging is part of life not the whole of life and this is probably true of a relationship, in that sex is part of a relationship not the whole of the relationship. Depending on how you view sex will impact how willing/unwilling you are for your partner to indulge with/without you. If you see it as a recreational activity then you are more inclined to share or be unphased by your partner having sex with someone else (after all I can’t always make ballroom dance lessons, but does that mean my imaginary partner shouldn’t go and dance with someone else?) It is the other elements of a relationship in the above scenario that create the “couple”, things that swinging can not replace. Sex, like dancing or crochet is a hobby and who doesn’t like to see and know that the person they love is living a full life? Now I can understand where you're coming from here. But what about when their dance partner is sending messages during a romantic dinner with your partner? When you and your partner are snuggled in bed? Would you think hang on, this isn't part of the deal? What about if their dance partner is enticing them to engage in other dances that aren't ballroom, or go to more dance classes a week, at other dance studios. Would you be comfortable with that? If they are meant to just be dancing, but hang on, it's more than just going to dance class once a week/month/year. It's spending hours messaging over the course of the week, it's learning each others most intimate desires and what makes each other tick, it's getting inside each others minds and wanting to give each other nothing but pleasure, closeness and the feeling that they're the only 2 people on the planet at that moment in time.... your partner wants to do those things with you but you fancy a change, so they're left doing the dishes. P I think that's where it comes down to boundaries and communication within the relationship. Establishing and building a connection, to some, is an important part and thrill of the meet. Making sure there's a balance is the key. In my experience, I never saw it as any different really than chatting to friends, she would share the conversation with me and I with her. We had boundaries about what we were comfortable with each other sharing with meets which was all part of the trust. Tea Sorry I known I'm nit picking about the negatives but these are things that pop in my noggin. Let's say you had a great meet, that person seemed sound but then things start going bad. They're telling lies about convos you may have had, things that happened during the meet. You know they're lies but now your partner is in a daze. She wants to believe you but has been lied to many times in the past and swore she would never let herself end up in a position again where she's questioning what's real and what's not. Would you feel like shit for putting her in that position or would you simply feel it's a case of "well if you love me, you'd trust me? If you really knew me, you'd know I'd not so those things?" Coz she heard that plenty times whilst being lied to in the past by others. P" That wouldn't be a scenario. I would have seen the conversation before hand, known what was going on and talked after. Yes, you get folks who are clingy, want more or in extremes, try and cause problems. That's where trust and honesty come into play. I never asked to see what they were talking about nor her me, but we always showed our conversations. If either of us were uncomfortable with how things were going then we'd stop. No meet is ever worth a relationship. I never lived with my ex, we saw each other once or twice a week but communication about meets was never an issue. Tea | |||
" For me, it wasn't just about meeting someone else, it was about the thrill of being together again afterwards. If it's *just* about meeting the other person then I can see your point, although sometimes meeting someone new is fun in itself. It also involves and revolves around your partner in many situations, it's about the thrill that they get from it which you both feed off. Tea You know how to word things when I don’t " Again, this bit I can understand, but I can't understand when your partner isn't involved. When your partner is kept in the dark as far as all messages go so it feels like they've been disconnected from the situation and aren't welcome, when your partner has no clue what's happening at the meet so is left with their mind in overdrive, when there could be weeks if not months before you see your partner again to reconnect in the flesh. P | |||
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" For me, it wasn't just about meeting someone else, it was about the thrill of being together again afterwards. If it's *just* about meeting the other person then I can see your point, although sometimes meeting someone new is fun in itself. It also involves and revolves around your partner in many situations, it's about the thrill that they get from it which you both feed off. Tea You know how to word things when I don’t Again, this bit I can understand, but I can't understand when your partner isn't involved. When your partner is kept in the dark as far as all messages go so it feels like they've been disconnected from the situation and aren't welcome, when your partner has no clue what's happening at the meet so is left with their mind in overdrive, when there could be weeks if not months before you see your partner again to reconnect in the flesh. P" Dunno what to say to that as that isn’t my situation so I’m no help | |||
" For me, it wasn't just about meeting someone else, it was about the thrill of being together again afterwards. If it's *just* about meeting the other person then I can see your point, although sometimes meeting someone new is fun in itself. It also involves and revolves around your partner in many situations, it's about the thrill that they get from it which you both feed off. Tea You know how to word things when I don’t Again, this bit I can understand, but I can't understand when your partner isn't involved. When your partner is kept in the dark as far as all messages go so it feels like they've been disconnected from the situation and aren't welcome, when your partner has no clue what's happening at the meet so is left with their mind in overdrive, when there could be weeks if not months before you see your partner again to reconnect in the flesh. P" I know of some people who feed off that dynamic, although that's far more of a cuck/cuck queen scenario. I'd say that it should be a case where you both know exactly what's going on, if you feel marginalised by your partner and don't want to be then something is wrong in that situation for you. I found that reconnection was better immediately but a few days was fine, so long as we talked after. Tea | |||
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"i have met people who like to play mind game like when im with them and we talk then they like to fire a message off to hubs saying things like well your mrs said this n that thinking ive told him nothing as if they want trouble but shock horror hubs just thinks its funny as i tell him everything some people are dangerous and vindictive maybe jealous of what some couples have. " Thank you for your honesty Jen surrounding this issue. People can be vindictive and dangerous and this is precisely one of my major reservations about meeting separately P | |||
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"i have met people who like to play mind game like when im with them and we talk then they like to fire a message off to hubs saying things like well your mrs said this n that thinking ive told him nothing as if they want trouble but shock horror hubs just thinks its funny as i tell him everything some people are dangerous and vindictive maybe jealous of what some couples have. " Yes, it does happen. My ex had guys messaging her after trying to be intimate etc. It's often guys who don't get or understand the dynamic of the couple that they're meeting. The old "if she was my girlfriend, I wouldn't let her..." is symptomatic of that. Tea | |||
"i have met people who like to play mind game like when im with them and we talk then they like to fire a message off to hubs saying things like well your mrs said this n that thinking ive told him nothing as if they want trouble but shock horror hubs just thinks its funny as i tell him everything some people are dangerous and vindictive maybe jealous of what some couples have. Thank you for your honesty Jen surrounding this issue. People can be vindictive and dangerous and this is precisely one of my major reservations about meeting separately P" you must do what you want nobody is the same and as in all walks of life there are sharks everywhere | |||
"if a couple has no trust or no trust from one side then this lifestyle is not for them simple as that ... swinging is built on trust hence why so many dont make it as they use it to try and repair there sex lives if your sex life is broken between two of you how the hell do you expect it to be ok with more" If me and my husband didn’t trust each other 100% then we wouldn’t be here. Swinging has had no affect on our trust or our relationship really - just for a time, while he was at working I’d maybe fuck someone else. Then he’d come home and fuck me, and it was lovely. I did only meet about 20 times overall, and only met three other men. They had no contact with my husband (I’m unsure why they would) and nothing vindictive ever happened. And even if it did, it wouldn’t matter as our trust is solid. | |||
"if a couple has no trust or no trust from one side then this lifestyle is not for them simple as that ... swinging is built on trust hence why so many dont make it as they use it to try and repair there sex lives if your sex life is broken between two of you how the hell do you expect it to be ok with more If me and my husband didn’t trust each other 100% then we wouldn’t be here. Swinging has had no affect on our trust or our relationship really - just for a time, while he was at working I’d maybe fuck someone else. Then he’d come home and fuck me, and it was lovely. I did only meet about 20 times overall, and only met three other men. They had no contact with my husband (I’m unsure why they would) and nothing vindictive ever happened. And even if it did, it wouldn’t matter as our trust is solid. " yep solid relationships is the key knowing each other inside out love trust .... its why i never understand those people who ask quesions on the forums about how they get there wife to do this n that or husbands ??? amazes me how many people actually dont know there partners | |||
"As a single I am probably not the best person to comment but fuckit. My understanding has always been that swinging is part of life not the whole of life and this is probably true of a relationship, in that sex is part of a relationship not the whole of the relationship. Depending on how you view sex will impact how willing/unwilling you are for your partner to indulge with/without you. If you see it as a recreational activity then you are more inclined to share or be unphased by your partner having sex with someone else (after all I can’t always make ballroom dance lessons, but does that mean my imaginary partner shouldn’t go and dance with someone else?) It is the other elements of a relationship in the above scenario that create the “couple”, things that swinging can not replace. Sex, like dancing or crochet is a hobby and who doesn’t like to see and know that the person they love is living a full life? Now I can understand where you're coming from here. But what about when their dance partner is sending messages during a romantic dinner with your partner? When you and your partner are snuggled in bed? Would you think hang on, this isn't part of the deal? What about if their dance partner is enticing them to engage in other dances that aren't ballroom, or go to more dance classes a week, at other dance studios. Would you be comfortable with that? If they are meant to just be dancing, but hang on, it's more than just going to dance class once a week/month/year. It's spending hours messaging over the course of the week, it's learning each others most intimate desires and what makes each other tick, it's getting inside each others minds and wanting to give each other nothing but pleasure, closeness and the feeling that they're the only 2 people on the planet at that moment in time.... your partner wants to do those things with you but you fancy a change, so they're left doing the dishes. P I think that's where it comes down to boundaries and communication within the relationship. Establishing and building a connection, to some, is an important part and thrill of the meet. Making sure there's a balance is the key. In my experience, I never saw it as any different really than chatting to friends, she would share the conversation with me and I with her. We had boundaries about what we were comfortable with each other sharing with meets which was all part of the trust. Tea Sorry I known I'm nit picking about the negatives but these are things that pop in my noggin. Let's say you had a great meet, that person seemed sound but then things start going bad. They're telling lies about convos you may have had, things that happened during the meet. You know they're lies but now your partner is in a daze. She wants to believe you but has been lied to many times in the past and swore she would never let herself end up in a position again where she's questioning what's real and what's not. Would you feel like shit for putting her in that position or would you simply feel it's a case of "well if you love me, you'd trust me? If you really knew me, you'd know I'd not so those things?" Coz she heard that plenty times whilst being lied to in the past by others. P" Hm okay so I think if I was having those doubts (finding it hard to trust even as much as I wanted to) and C tried the whole ‘well if you loved me you’d trust me’ I’d probably feel a bit shit and call a stop (even if temporary) to swinging so we can work on things. I wouldn’t feel comfortable if there was even the slightest of doubts | |||
"if a couple has no trust or no trust from one side then this lifestyle is not for them simple as that ... swinging is built on trust hence why so many dont make it as they use it to try and repair there sex lives if your sex life is broken between two of you how the hell do you expect it to be ok with more If me and my husband didn’t trust each other 100% then we wouldn’t be here. Swinging has had no affect on our trust or our relationship really - just for a time, while he was at working I’d maybe fuck someone else. Then he’d come home and fuck me, and it was lovely. I did only meet about 20 times overall, and only met three other men. They had no contact with my husband (I’m unsure why they would) and nothing vindictive ever happened. And even if it did, it wouldn’t matter as our trust is solid. yep solid relationships is the key knowing each other inside out love trust .... its why i never understand those people who ask quesions on the forums about how they get there wife to do this n that or husbands ??? amazes me how many people actually dont know there partners" Baffles me as well, but I guess unless they’re in a relationship like this they’ll never know. I get loads of messages asking if my husband ‘is enough’ for me, if he’s shit in bed, is he a cuck, am I actually just a cheater etc. So odd. | |||
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"We have a cpls profile and a single one for Mrs as we line the hotwife / stag / vixen lifestyle Works fir us as a single fem will get more mail and Mrs can chat away to guys she likes On cpls we chat to all and would meet as cpl x What do you get from it if/when she meets alone? Is it a sense of pride? Excitement of what she will come home and tell you? " I love watching HW play , listening , taking pics then claim back sex is awesome x | |||
"if a couple has no trust or no trust from one side then this lifestyle is not for them simple as that ... swinging is built on trust hence why so many dont make it as they use it to try and repair there sex lives if your sex life is broken between two of you how the hell do you expect it to be ok with more" | |||
"i have met people who like to play mind game like when im with them and we talk then they like to fire a message off to hubs saying things like well your mrs said this n that thinking ive told him nothing as if they want trouble but shock horror hubs just thinks its funny as i tell him everything some people are dangerous and vindictive maybe jealous of what some couples have. Thank you for your honesty Jen surrounding this issue. People can be vindictive and dangerous and this is precisely one of my major reservations about meeting separately P" Why are you considering meeting separately if it's already making you worry? | |||
"Fake profiles? One half of a couple tolerating the sexual preferences of the other? They actually like it that way?" Just this x | |||
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"Thanks everyone, I hit too busy to keep replying but it's certainly an interesting read. I find it fascinating here because there is such a diverse range of things people are looking for and why. Fingers crossed we all continue to find it! " *got | |||
"i have met people who like to play mind game like when im with them and we talk then they like to fire a message off to hubs saying things like well your mrs said this n that thinking ive told him nothing as if they want trouble but shock horror hubs just thinks its funny as i tell him everything some people are dangerous and vindictive maybe jealous of what some couples have. Thank you for your honesty Jen surrounding this issue. People can be vindictive and dangerous and this is precisely one of my major reservations about meeting separately P Why are you considering meeting separately if it's already making you worry? " It's not something that I want to do, not now at least, but I know it's something B would like and wants to do in the future. I think for me to be completely comfortable with it I need more than we have at the moment, time wise especially. P | |||
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"As a single I am probably not the best person to comment but fuckit. My understanding has always been that swinging is part of life not the whole of life and this is probably true of a relationship, in that sex is part of a relationship not the whole of the relationship. Depending on how you view sex will impact how willing/unwilling you are for your partner to indulge with/without you. If you see it as a recreational activity then you are more inclined to share or be unphased by your partner having sex with someone else (after all I can’t always make ballroom dance lessons, but does that mean my imaginary partner shouldn’t go and dance with someone else?) It is the other elements of a relationship in the above scenario that create the “couple”, things that swinging can not replace. Sex, like dancing or crochet is a hobby and who doesn’t like to see and know that the person they love is living a full life? Now I can understand where you're coming from here. But what about when their dance partner is sending messages during a romantic dinner with your partner? When you and your partner are snuggled in bed? Would you think hang on, this isn't part of the deal? What about if their dance partner is enticing them to engage in other dances that aren't ballroom, or go to more dance classes a week, at other dance studios. Would you be comfortable with that? If they are meant to just be dancing, but hang on, it's more than just going to dance class once a week/month/year. It's spending hours messaging over the course of the week, it's learning each others most intimate desires and what makes each other tick, it's getting inside each others minds and wanting to give each other nothing but pleasure, closeness and the feeling that they're the only 2 people on the planet at that moment in time.... your partner wants to do those things with you but you fancy a change, so they're left doing the dishes. P" Fuck that! Get a dishwasher. .. | |||
"As a couple we have met a few other couples where the man is happy for the woman to go and fuck other men , we both only play together though separate rooms sometimes! It does seem to be more women than men who do it yet the general consensus is that men have a higher sex drive. Think it is more to do with opportunity on here. Mrs is out on a girls night out tomorrow and I have been winding her up all week about putting up a status that says "only Male available meet now" she has jokingly said go ahead as she knows there will be no takers. Now if she was to do the same thing our inbox would be inundated within seconds. Definitely, women are in high demand here! " On a side issue, they are, but it's harder for them to get decent meets than a well executed appealing single male profile I've found, as he'd have a circle of regular ladies he'd see plus new ladies contacting him would be in a few enough number to manage and make holding conversations and getting to know them and decide if they were for him simple enough. Whereas a single lady's profile would have 100s of messages a day pouring in and it would be bloody impossible to keep track! And to follow on from our earlier post, yes the lack of time we get together does inflammate the notion. tbf, though so far it's not been an issue for us anyway as our own indulgences together are wonderful for me anyway? And to the guy who said he wouldn't get much response if he posted "male half meeting alone" on their couples profile, he'd probably have more success posting a meet of such a nature on a single male's profile as it happens as apart from some who didn't know the pair in question thinking such a status indicated a bullshit profile of a man pretending to be a couple ladies would probably be more interested in meeting a guy without the possibility of the lady of the couple flipping out or having to seek her approval as well first? B | |||
"I've noticed there are plenty of couples on here where only one half meets and I wondered why that was? What does the other person get out of it? Is it harder to maintain trust in that situation? " We meet together or not at all. M does have a singles profile but really only uses it for forum socials and toss about on the threads. He's of that age where he's not really at the top of anyone's "want to meet" list. E | |||