FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How do YOU define masculinity?
How do YOU define masculinity?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Someone who will stand up for what they believe in, regardless of the pressure of their peers.
Someone who isn't afraid to be themselves. A person who isn't afraid to show emotion.
Masculinity comes in many forms, but being true to oneself is the greatest measure of a man for me.
P |
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"Someone who will stand up for what they believe in, regardless of the pressure of their peers.
Someone who isn't afraid to be themselves. A person who isn't afraid to show emotion.
Masculinity comes in many forms, but being true to oneself is the greatest measure of a man for me.
P"
I attribute those to women too. They don't have to be masculine or butch to show those characteristics. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh goodness. You’re brave. This should be a fun read 
How so? It's a normal question."
That was my thought, it seems an interesting question about definitions of masculinity.
Tea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh goodness. You’re brave. This should be a fun read
How so? It's a normal question.
That was my thought, it seems an interesting question about definitions of masculinity.
Tea"
Just from similar previous threads. Yes it is an interesting question. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Which culture are you thinking of ??
I'm asking You, not the Vikings or African tribes.
And you assume i'm white western ? "
Why would I assume who you are, I'm asking for your definition of masculinity not your ethnic background. |
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"Cock length and girth  This as long at it's 8"plus and thick as a can.
Correct, anything smaller you can’t be classed as a man surely? 
Thank Allah yours is the size of a giant salami "
It made your eyes water Granny |
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"Which culture are you thinking of ??
I'm asking You, not the Vikings or African tribes.
And you assume i'm white western ?
Why would I assume who you are, I'm asking for your definition of masculinity not your ethnic background."
It's dependent on the culture of the person that's having their masculinity defined. |
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"Cock length and girth This as long at it's 8"plus and thick as a can.
Correct, anything smaller you can’t be classed as a man surely?
Thank Allah yours is the size of a giant salami
It made your eyes water Granny "
It made my ears weep ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The definition of masculinity is not commenting on the forums, but putting your time to better use. For example giving the lady you love some flowers, or maybe fixing the cv boot on her car. A true man rarely starts threads and that’s why you will never see me on the forums but instead I’m busy fixing a leaking tap or trimming Mavis’s bush next door. Often I am found in my shed, tinkering with my tools. But also I have a very sensitive side, I cried when I watched mamma Mia. Women love all that bollocks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone who will stand up for what they believe in, regardless of the pressure of their peers.
Someone who isn't afraid to be themselves. A person who isn't afraid to show emotion.
Masculinity comes in many forms, but being true to oneself is the greatest measure of a man for me.
P
I attribute those to women too. They don't have to be masculine or butch to show those characteristics."
I described me. I'm secretly a man.
P |
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What makes anyone anything? It's perception. Be it in one's self or in the eyes of another. what you may feel makes you a man may not be what another feels makes a man.
Some may see strength as being manly, while others may see compassion and being a protector as being a man.
It's all perception.
A wise man once said.
“It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.”
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Which culture are you thinking of ??
I'm asking You, not the Vikings or African tribes.
And you assume i'm white western ?
Why would I assume who you are, I'm asking for your definition of masculinity not your ethnic background.
It's dependent on the culture of the person that's having their masculinity defined. "
Really? If only I could have had that in mind when asking the question...
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"Which culture are you thinking of ??
I'm asking You, not the Vikings or African tribes.
And you assume i'm white western ?
Why would I assume who you are, I'm asking for your definition of masculinity not your ethnic background.
It's dependent on the culture of the person that's having their masculinity defined. Really? If only I could have had that in mind when asking the question...
"
If only .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"masculinity can be defined by how many raw eggs you can drink
Thought everybody knew that??!
Hen eggs ?
Ostrich
P
Yeah .. big man ... big eggs.
Think we've cracked it! "
Eggsellent work G-Crumps!
P |
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"The definition of masculinity is not commenting on the forums, but putting your time to better use. For example giving the lady you love some flowers, or maybe fixing the cv boot on her car. A true man rarely starts threads and that’s why you will never see me on the forums but instead I’m busy fixing a leaking tap or trimming Mavis’s bush next door. Often I am found in my shed, tinkering with my tools. But also I have a very sensitive side, I cried when I watched mamma Mia. Women love all that bollocks."
You missed out the puppy bit, you must love and be kind to animals.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"masculinity can be defined by how many raw eggs you can drink
Thought everybody knew that??!
Hen eggs ?
Free range
None of that battery crap"
They're shocking if you lick them
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The characteristics that I associate with masculinity are assertiveness, courage, risk-taking, physical, mental and emotional strength. solution-oriented whereas the characteristics I associate with femininity are compassion, kindness, empathy and love. Neither sets of characteristics are unique to men or women and the mark of being a good man or woman is how well we blend those characteristics given our genetic make up. Emotional Intelligence seems to play a huge part in it. |
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There is probably as many definitions as there are people in the world.
Obviously a large degree of overlap, but each of us will have our own.
I'm also certain that every answer is right. It's dangerous to say this set of characteristics/behaviours are what you need to be masculine.
I've never really fitted the tradition British description. But not worried too much about that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ok, can he lead? Yes.
But can he lead by example? Yes.
Ok, that's a mighty fine start.
Can he listen? Truly listen? Yes.
Excellent
Is he caring, and about more than just himself? Yes.
He sounds like a swell fella.
Do I feel safe when he's around? Yes.
Alriiiighty then, I am listening
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Muscles, but it vary across different cultures.
Oh no..... the C word.
Yes, the muscle word 
Muscle doesn’t begin with C, Shag."
I know, but it have a c in there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When in doubt, open the book..
masculinity
noun
qualities or attributes regarded as characteristic of men.
"handsome, muscled, and driven, he's a prime example of masculinity"
synonyms: virility, manliness, maleness, vigour, strength, muscularity, ruggedness, toughness, robustness
Now for some reason me being bi, seems to effect others perceptions on how masculine I am to them. Which is odd, also, if I decided to wear a pair of knickers, even just the once.. that'd effect it too.. even though it's just an item of clothing.
Nothing to do with my ruggedness, virility, maleness (it's just clothing), vigour, strength, toughness or robustness. Nor how handsome, muscled or driven I may be. That remains pretty constant regardless of what I do of how I'm dressed. |
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"Muscles, but it vary across different cultures.
Oh no..... the C word.
Yes, the muscle word
Muscle doesn’t begin with C, Shag.I know, but it have a c in there."
You shame me ......  There are lot's of c's in here shag.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Muscles, but it vary across different cultures.
Oh no..... the C word.
Yes, the muscle word
Muscle doesn’t begin with C, Shag.I know, but it have a c in there.
You shame me ...... There are lot's of c's in here shag.... "
It's one of those silent yet deadly Cs......
P |
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"When in doubt, open the book..
masculinity
noun
qualities or attributes regarded as characteristic of men.
"handsome, muscled, and driven, he's a prime example of masculinity"
synonyms: virility, manliness, maleness, vigour, strength, muscularity, ruggedness, toughness, robustness
Now for some reason me being bi, seems to effect others perceptions on how masculine I am to them. Which is odd, also, if I decided to wear a pair of knickers, even just the once.. that'd effect it too.. even though it's just an item of clothing.
Nothing to do with my ruggedness, virility, maleness (it's just clothing), vigour, strength, toughness or robustness. Nor how handsome, muscled or driven I may be. That remains pretty constant regardless of what I do of how I'm dressed."
Conversation in itself. Don't the 'knickers' bring out your femininity or don't you think you have any ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There is probably as many definitions as there are people in the world.
Obviously a large degree of overlap, but each of us will have our own.
I'm also certain that every answer is right. It's dangerous to say this set of characteristics/behaviours are what you need to be masculine.
I've never really fitted the tradition British description. But not worried too much about that. "
That is why I put "YOU" in capital letters.
The question isn't about how different culture and subcultures define masculinity, it's about your own opinion.
I'm not here to say whether you're right or wrong, but I may question your answer to get more out of it.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When in doubt, open the book..
masculinity
noun
qualities or attributes regarded as characteristic of men.
"handsome, muscled, and driven, he's a prime example of masculinity"
synonyms: virility, manliness, maleness, vigour, strength, muscularity, ruggedness, toughness, robustness
Now for some reason me being bi, seems to effect others perceptions on how masculine I am to them. Which is odd, also, if I decided to wear a pair of knickers, even just the once.. that'd effect it too.. even though it's just an item of clothing.
Nothing to do with my ruggedness, virility, maleness (it's just clothing), vigour, strength, toughness or robustness. Nor how handsome, muscled or driven I may be. That remains pretty constant regardless of what I do of how I'm dressed.
Conversation in itself. Don't the 'knickers' bring out your femininity or don't you think you have any ?"
That would be roleplaying in my case. Acting. I'm all man. Even as Cixi.. I was still myself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Muscles, but it vary across different cultures.
Oh no..... the C word.
Yes, the muscle word
Muscle doesn’t begin with C, Shag.I know, but it have a c in there.
You shame me ...... There are lot's of c's in here shag....
It's one of those silent yet deadly Cs......
P"
Yes it is and there is just one c |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ok, can he lead? Yes.
But can he lead by example? Yes.
Ok, that's a mighty fine start.
Can he listen? Truly listen? Yes.
Excellent
(Is he caring, and about more than just himself? Yes.)
He sounds like a swell fella.
Do I feel safe when he's around? Yes.
Alriiiighty then, I am listening
P"
The bracket one is a tricky one, because humans are ultimately selfish. Everything you do, including helping others is a selfish act. |
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Conversation in itself. Don't the 'knickers' bring out your femininity or don't you think you have any ?"
That would be roleplaying in my case. Acting. I'm all man. Even as Cixi.. I was still myself.
Not necessarily. It could be that certain characteristics you have come to the fore.
I'm more masculine than feminine ( using societal concepts and descriptors ) most times. Sometimes i'm totally passive. Neither are role play. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think ascribing qualities to each gender is pointless and limiting. Hopefully we move beyond such ideas in time. "
Are you suggesting we all become gender fluid/gender neutral |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think ascribing qualities to each gender is pointless and limiting. Hopefully we move beyond such ideas in time. "
If there are certain qualities you look for in a specific gender there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, as long as you cause no harm to others. |
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"Muscles, but it vary across different cultures."
I was once talking to someone about the abuse I get here that lifting makes you masculine. I jokingly said I could put on lipstick before my deadlift.
He said, tell them to make their lifting masculine, if they can, and let me worry about making my lifting feminine (if I care). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think ascribing qualities to each gender is pointless and limiting. Hopefully we move beyond such ideas in time. "
I agree ascribing qualities to a gender is limiting, however I think understanding the biological processes that produce the characteristics of masculinity and femininity can help us to understand them and through emotional intelligence be able to blend them more effectively to develop as human beings. |
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"I think ascribing qualities to each gender is pointless and limiting. Hopefully we move beyond such ideas in time.
I agree ascribing qualities to a gender is limiting, however I think understanding the biological processes that produce the characteristics of masculinity and femininity can help us to understand them and through emotional intelligence be able to blend them more effectively to develop as human beings."
Biology, nature, nurture... but allowing people to be who they want to be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think ascribing qualities to each gender is pointless and limiting. Hopefully we move beyond such ideas in time.
I agree ascribing qualities to a gender is limiting, however I think understanding the biological processes that produce the characteristics of masculinity and femininity can help us to understand them and through emotional intelligence be able to blend them more effectively to develop as human beings.
Biology, nature, nurture... but allowing people to be who they want to be. "
Indeed we should be able to use our free will to become what we wish to become and be who we want to be . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Conversation in itself. Don't the 'knickers' bring out your femininity or don't you think you have any ?"
That would be roleplaying in my case. Acting. I'm all man. Even as Cixi.. I was still myself.
Not necessarily. It could be that certain characteristics you have come to the fore.
I'm more masculine than feminine ( using societal concepts and descriptors ) most times. Sometimes i'm totally passive. Neither are role play. "
For me it is roleplay and curiosity. Though I agree with what you're saying for others.
Which is why I lean towards the dictionary definition than what the majority think should be societal norms.
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It used to make me cross/curious/bewildered when people ( adults , teachers, peers ) told me to act like a girl.
I'm a strong woman. I'm straight. Blokes appeal to me.
Took me many years to realise many things not least that I am not from an inferior gender and that being me is pretty fucking amazing and a condescending-assumptive twat is just that - regardless of gender identity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Muscles, but it vary across different cultures.
I was once talking to someone about the abuse I get here that lifting makes you masculine. I jokingly said I could put on lipstick before my deadlift.
He said, tell them to make their lifting masculine, if they can, and let me worry about making my lifting feminine (if I care). "
|
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"Conversation in itself. Don't the 'knickers' bring out your femininity or don't you think you have any ?"
That would be roleplaying in my case. Acting. I'm all man. Even as Cixi.. I was still myself.
Not necessarily. It could be that certain characteristics you have come to the fore.
I'm more masculine than feminine ( using societal concepts and descriptors ) most times. Sometimes i'm totally passive. Neither are role play.
For me it is roleplay and curiosity. Though I agree with what you're saying for others.
Which is why I lean towards the dictionary definition than what the majority think should be societal norms.
"
I think the dictionary definition is a product of culture too. |
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"It used to make me cross/curious/bewildered when people ( adults , teachers, peers ) told me to act like a girl.
I'm a strong woman. I'm straight. Blokes appeal to me.
Took me many years to realise many things not least that I am not from an inferior gender and that being me is pretty fucking amazing and a condescending-assumptive twat is just that - regardless of gender identity."
Yup. I'm a woman and I'm feminine whether I perform societal expectations or not.
Ditto for men. |
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"Someone who will stand up for what they believe in, regardless of the pressure of their peers.
Someone who isn't afraid to be themselves. A person who isn't afraid to show emotion.
Masculinity comes in many forms, but being true to oneself is the greatest measure of a man for me.
P"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It used to make me cross/curious/bewildered when people ( adults , teachers, peers ) told me to act like a girl.
I'm a strong woman. I'm straight. Blokes appeal to me.
Took me many years to realise many things not least that I am not from an inferior gender and that being me is pretty fucking amazing and a condescending-assumptive twat is just that - regardless of gender identity."
It's always infuriated me that genders are boxed into what acceptable and what isn't.
I remember a Padre telling me in the army that the only reason women weren't allowed on the frontline.. is because the Great British Public didn't like seeing women come home in body bags.
Which tells you what we think of our men.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It used to make me cross/curious/bewildered when people ( adults , teachers, peers ) told me to act like a girl.
I'm a strong woman. I'm straight. Blokes appeal to me.
Took me many years to realise many things not least that I am not from an inferior gender and that being me is pretty fucking amazing and a condescending-assumptive twat is just that - regardless of gender identity."
I heard similar shit as a boy growing up, especially in a school with a motto aimed at it. Shifting the societal norms is challenge for all of us. |
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Someone who is comfortable in their own skin and doesn't feel they have to fit into society's definition of masculinity.
Same goes for a woman!
I guess I have just answered the question "What makes a person a person?" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A real man can take rejection and be mature as polite about it. As he knows not everyone is for everyone "
That goes for women too. It’s about emotional intelligence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone who is comfortable in their own skin and doesn't feel they have to fit into society's definition of masculinity.
Same goes for a woman!
I guess I have just answered the question "What makes a person a person?" "
|
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"It used to make me cross/curious/bewildered when people ( adults , teachers, peers ) told me to act like a girl.
I'm a strong woman. I'm straight. Blokes appeal to me.
Took me many years to realise many things not least that I am not from an inferior gender and that being me is pretty fucking amazing and a condescending-assumptive twat is just that - regardless of gender identity.
I heard similar shit as a boy growing up, especially in a school with a motto aimed at it. Shifting the societal norms is challenge for all of us."
Yes.
If you want to be a "traditional" man, have at it! Just leave guys who don't alone to do what makes them happy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone who is comfortable in their own skin and doesn't feel they have to fit into society's definition of masculinity.
Same goes for a woman!
I guess I have just answered the question "What makes a person a person?" "
that's why I used the dictionary before answering mine  |
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"Or what makes a man, a man?
His ability to miss the toilet and pee on the seat
And leaving the toilet seat up once he's finished.
flushed or unflushed?
I'm learning here."
Unflushed brings certain death! |
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"Someone who is comfortable in their own skin and doesn't feel they have to fit into society's definition of masculinity.
Same goes for a woman!
I guess I have just answered the question "What makes a person a person?"
that's why I used the dictionary before answering mine "
Touche. |
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My grandmother died young of something entirely unpreventable, which took her quickly and brutally.
I remember vividly sitting next to my grandfather at her funeral. He was crying and trying desperately hard to hide it, including rebuffing me when I tried to comfort him.
He worked his whole life in physically demanding jobs with punishing hours to provide for and give the best for his family. He was a devoted husband and father (and grandfather). He honoured my grandmother and the promises he'd made to her father to protect her and give her a good life.
I later found out (I wasn't very old) that he didn't want to be seen as less of a man by letting anyone see him cry. Including his family. Despite all the other traditional masculinity I outlined above.
We owe our men and boys better. |
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By *MP3Man
over a year ago
Between Scylla and Charybdis |
"Or what makes a man, a man?
His ability to miss the toilet and pee on the seat
And leaving the toilet seat up once he's finished.
Why shouldn't you ? You found it down didn't you ? "
One should always leave it as one finds it, unless it's up, in which case it should be put down. |
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"My grandmother died young of something entirely unpreventable, which took her quickly and brutally.
I remember vividly sitting next to my grandfather at her funeral. He was crying and trying desperately hard to hide it, including rebuffing me when I tried to comfort him.
He worked his whole life in physically demanding jobs with punishing hours to provide for and give the best for his family. He was a devoted husband and father (and grandfather). He honoured my grandmother and the promises he'd made to her father to protect her and give her a good life.
I later found out (I wasn't very old) that he didn't want to be seen as less of a man by letting anyone see him cry. Including his family. Despite all the other traditional masculinity I outlined above.
We owe our men and boys better. "
My grandad was a train driver. A tough, physical job which left him partially deaf. I always remember him crying at family occasions - it was so touching. Now I look back, I am so glad he felt able to share that emotion.
He would have been 100 today. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My grandmother died young of something entirely unpreventable, which took her quickly and brutally.
I remember vividly sitting next to my grandfather at her funeral. He was crying and trying desperately hard to hide it, including rebuffing me when I tried to comfort him.
He worked his whole life in physically demanding jobs with punishing hours to provide for and give the best for his family. He was a devoted husband and father (and grandfather). He honoured my grandmother and the promises he'd made to her father to protect her and give her a good life.
I later found out (I wasn't very old) that he didn't want to be seen as less of a man by letting anyone see him cry. Including his family. Despite all the other traditional masculinity I outlined above.
We owe our men and boys better. "
that's what I'd define as toxic masculinity.. the idea that it's not ok for a man to cry in that situation.. to be so stoic in the face of such grief.. you cant expect that from anyone. It's not fair.
It's a reflection of society, but not one I think is intended. I think many of us watch films and the like.. take it all in subconsciously.
Men and women of my generation arent too bad at talking about our own issues and our sharing it has helped the generation that's come after and fuelled a massive growth in the awareness of mental health.
That talking, crying, being emotional.. is what's needed to get through periods of trauma, grief, tragedy and stress. To check up on our friends and stop ridiculing people for being different. Less Bully, more Tribal Family. |
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"Or what makes a man, a man?
His ability to miss the toilet and pee on the seat
And leaving the toilet seat up once he's finished.
Why shouldn't you ? You found it down didn't you ?
One should always leave it as one finds it, unless it's up, in which case it should be put down."
I don't have a loo seat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My grandmother died young of something entirely unpreventable, which took her quickly and brutally.
I remember vividly sitting next to my grandfather at her funeral. He was crying and trying desperately hard to hide it, including rebuffing me when I tried to comfort him.
He worked his whole life in physically demanding jobs with punishing hours to provide for and give the best for his family. He was a devoted husband and father (and grandfather). He honoured my grandmother and the promises he'd made to her father to protect her and give her a good life.
I later found out (I wasn't very old) that he didn't want to be seen as less of a man by letting anyone see him cry. Including his family. Despite all the other traditional masculinity I outlined above.
We owe our men and boys better.
that's what I'd define as toxic masculinity.. the idea that it's not ok for a man to cry in that situation.. to be so stoic in the face of such grief.. you cant expect that from anyone. It's not fair.
It's a reflection of society, but not one I think is intended. I think many of us watch films and the like.. take it all in subconsciously.
Men and women of my generation arent too bad at talking about our own issues and our sharing it has helped the generation that's come after and fuelled a massive growth in the awareness of mental health.
That talking, crying, being emotional.. is what's needed to get through periods of trauma, grief, tragedy and stress. To check up on our friends and stop ridiculing people for being different. Less Bully, more Tribal Family."
I agree GK |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not being a sniffly little shit who complains about hurt feelings. Pathetic little fannies that seem to be about all of a sudden "
Wow. Here's hoping you don't have any sons who may want to open up to you with problems.
I find closed mindedness, unapproachableness, and the inability to understand men can get hurt, well, to use your word... pathetic.
P |
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" that's what I'd define as toxic masculinity.. the idea that it's not ok for a man to cry in that situation.. to be so stoic in the face of such grief.. you cant expect that from anyone. It's not fair.
It's a reflection of society, but not one I think is intended. I think many of us watch films and the like.. take it all in subconsciously.
Men and women of my generation arent too bad at talking about our own issues and our sharing it has helped the generation that's come after and fuelled a massive growth in the awareness of mental health.
That talking, crying, being emotional.. is what's needed to get through periods of trauma, grief, tragedy and stress. To check up on our friends and stop ridiculing people for being different. Less Bully, more Tribal Family."
I agree it's toxic, although for his generation it was just expected. (he was a loving, gentle soul, I will say)
But that's why I think that these definitions are problematic. They force people to be other than who they are.
Like, don't be a dick if you can help it, but why can't a man cry, bake, play with makeup, or a woman (say) lift weights? So what? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not being a sniffly little shit who complains about hurt feelings. Pathetic little fannies that seem to be about all of a sudden
Wow. Here's hoping you don't have any sons who may want to open up to you with problems.
I find closed mindedness, unapproachableness, and the inability to understand men can get hurt, well, to use your word... pathetic.
P"
Well said P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" that's what I'd define as toxic masculinity.. the idea that it's not ok for a man to cry in that situation.. to be so stoic in the face of such grief.. you cant expect that from anyone. It's not fair.
It's a reflection of society, but not one I think is intended. I think many of us watch films and the like.. take it all in subconsciously.
Men and women of my generation arent too bad at talking about our own issues and our sharing it has helped the generation that's come after and fuelled a massive growth in the awareness of mental health.
That talking, crying, being emotional.. is what's needed to get through periods of trauma, grief, tragedy and stress. To check up on our friends and stop ridiculing people for being different. Less Bully, more Tribal Family.
I agree it's toxic, although for his generation it was just expected. (he was a loving, gentle soul, I will say)
But that's why I think that these definitions are problematic. They force people to be other than who they are.
Like, don't be a dick if you can help it, but why can't a man cry, bake, play with makeup, or a woman (say) lift weights? So what? "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" that's what I'd define as toxic masculinity.. the idea that it's not ok for a man to cry in that situation.. to be so stoic in the face of such grief.. you cant expect that from anyone. It's not fair.
It's a reflection of society, but not one I think is intended. I think many of us watch films and the like.. take it all in subconsciously.
Men and women of my generation arent too bad at talking about our own issues and our sharing it has helped the generation that's come after and fuelled a massive growth in the awareness of mental health.
That talking, crying, being emotional.. is what's needed to get through periods of trauma, grief, tragedy and stress. To check up on our friends and stop ridiculing people for being different. Less Bully, more Tribal Family.
I agree it's toxic, although for his generation it was just expected. (he was a loving, gentle soul, I will say)
But that's why I think that these definitions are problematic. They force people to be other than who they are.
Like, don't be a dick if you can help it, but why can't a man cry, bake, play with makeup, or a woman (say) lift weights? So what? "
Agreed again |
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By *MP3Man
over a year ago
Between Scylla and Charybdis |
"Or what makes a man, a man?
His ability to miss the toilet and pee on the seat
And leaving the toilet seat up once he's finished.
Why shouldn't you ? You found it down didn't you ?
One should always leave it as one finds it, unless it's up, in which case it should be put down.
I don't have a loo seat. "
No etiquette exists for that particular situation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not being a sniffly little shit who complains about hurt feelings. Pathetic little fannies that seem to be about all of a sudden
I think that's a toxic attitude. "
And people question why suicide is the biggest killer in men of a certain age.
P |
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"Not being a sniffly little shit who complains about hurt feelings. Pathetic little fannies that seem to be about all of a sudden
I think that's a toxic attitude.
And people question why suicide is the biggest killer in men of a certain age.
P"
Indeed. In this instance, we need to stop oppressing men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or what makes a man, a man?
His ability to miss the toilet and pee on the seat
And leaving the toilet seat up once he's finished.
Why shouldn't you ? You found it down didn't you ?
One should always leave it as one finds it, unless it's up, in which case it should be put down.
I don't have a loo seat.
No etiquette exists for that particular situation "
hover |
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"Not being a sniffly little shit who complains about hurt feelings. Pathetic little fannies that seem to be about all of a sudden
I think that's a toxic attitude.
And people question why suicide is the biggest killer in men of a certain age.
P"
Agree If it needs to be let out then I’m all for it if that helps the person. I’ve bawled at sad times, shouted during angry moments and cried with laughter at happier moments. The sadness part is key though, some sort of outlet is needed and shouldn’t be seen as weakness. |
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"Not being a sniffly little shit who complains about hurt feelings. Pathetic little fannies that seem to be about all of a sudden "
That’s the spirit! Repress those feelings boys and men, that works out well historically. Just out of interest, which of you two holds this opinion? Mr. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think ascribing qualities to each gender is pointless and limiting. Hopefully we move beyond such ideas in time.
Are you suggesting we all become gender fluid/gender neutral"
Identity crisis? |
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"Or what makes a man, a man?
His ability to miss the toilet and pee on the seat
And leaving the toilet seat up once he's finished.
Why shouldn't you ? You found it down didn't you ?
One should always leave it as one finds it, unless it's up, in which case it should be put down.
I don't have a loo seat.
No etiquette exists for that particular situation "
I know. It's great. Very hygienic. Saw it first in a hotel and thought ....... im having one of those...... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In my book. A man would defend his family for all its worth.
What about single men with no family?
Looks after his mum"
Interesting you say just his mom and not dad.
What about if he's an orphan with no siblings? |
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By *ty31Man
over a year ago
NW London |
Strength, knowledge and wisdom. Ability to cope with life's problems and to stand up for what's right and what they believe in. Willingness to go above and beyond to overcome life's difficulties. Not to be a bully towards others or seek to impose their will on those weaker. |
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