FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Persistent or friendly?
Persistent or friendly?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Out of curiosity, if there's someone who messages you often, with general chit chat, whom you're not interested in meeting, do you assume they're being persistent in the hopes of getting into your pants eventually and tell them outright you're not interested? Or are you happy to keep chatting, they're just being friendly? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds like they're hopeful in a 'maybe a chance someday' opportunity. If you don't mind chit chatting then I think it's fine. You don't have to ever meet them. But there's also the chance they could get negative with you in the future for all this chit chat and no reward and cause you undue stress. But that's why we've a block button, till then chat away lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Out of curiosity, if there's someone who messages you often, with general chit chat, whom you're not interested in meeting, do you assume they're being persistent in the hopes of getting into your pants eventually and tell them outright you're not interested? Or are you happy to keep chatting, they're just being friendly? "
I think if it’s on your mind you should tell them your conversation isn’t going to lead to a meet, better to be honest with people.
If you’re enjoying the chit chat, keep doing it, but be clear that that’s all it will ever be.
And finally, be flattered, they clearly want to talk to you  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Generally speaking I keep my replies brief. And I'll almost always make a point of saying the conversation isn't going to go anywhere sexual whether it be in conversation or meeting.
I'm happy to chat but worry I'm somehow leading them on.
I'm not talking about anyone in particular btw, there are several guys I chat to regularly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it’s someone from the forums then I’m usually happy to chat. But nine times out of ten they usually assume that because I’m chatting, I’m willing to turn the chat sexual, or I’ll add them on kik and send videos etc. Even though I can point blank tell them ‘I’m not interested in you sexually’.
If it’s someone from outside the forums then nah I don’t chat. Again, they usually assume I’ll eventually be interested. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I call it how I see it. But overwhelmingly they seem to think they'll wear me down and fuck me eventually  "
If/when they get sexual, I'll generally end the conversation.
I just worry that by engaging in a normal conversation they're misreading the situation. |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
From the forums, yes i'll chat away to people I wouldn't be attracted to, we're unlikely to meet anyway in most cases and I talk that much rubbish that it rarely turn sexual anyway.
Outside of the forums, with people closer to home, I'm always very clear about my intentions one way or another  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's good to talk 
Not everything on fab has to be about meet ups and sex 
As long as you both know where you're coming from and no one's leading anyone on "
I'm inclined to agree |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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I quite like talking to people (shocker I know) and don't mind if people keep messaging me. The only time I don't like it is if they persist with overt sexual chat. Having typed that I'm now worried I am persistent with a few. Darn it OP for making me worry.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I quite like talking to people (shocker I know) and don't mind if people keep messaging me. The only time I don't like it is if they persist with overt sexual chat. Having typed that I'm now worried I am persistent with a few. Darn it OP for making me worry. "
I worry myself. I often write a message and delete it without sending for fear I'm barking up the wrong tree or being annoying  |
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"I quite like talking to people (shocker I know) and don't mind if people keep messaging me. The only time I don't like it is if they persist with overt sexual chat. Having typed that I'm now worried I am persistent with a few. Darn it OP for making me worry. "
The ones that annoy me usually can't keep up a normal conversation for days or sometimes hours without trying for "their due" again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I let them message but keep the communication brief. I’ve found that eventually it dries up.
Just like all the fannies of the Ladies that you pm then Doc  "
No that happens much more quickly |
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"I quite like talking to people (shocker I know) and don't mind if people keep messaging me. The only time I don't like it is if they persist with overt sexual chat. Having typed that I'm now worried I am persistent with a few. Darn it OP for making me worry.
I worry myself. I often write a message and delete it without sending for fear I'm barking up the wrong tree or being annoying "
Blokes get fewer messages anyway so it’s easier to deal with than women who get dozens offering a fuck.
Don’t hold back if you want to bark up my tree |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I worry myself. I often write a message and delete it without sending for fear I'm barking up the wrong tree or being annoying
I can't message anyone today now. Thanks a lot.  "
Awwww Meli!
Everyone loves you...message away |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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'Sexy talk' leaves me flat when it is merely words on a page
In person, it seems to have more meaning and it is nice to see someone react to it positively (or you get the message when you see them recoil in terror )
I tend towards polite and chatty in PM's, primarily because I find sex talk all a little bit cringey and pestering is well, pestering
Fab is just a medium in the process of getting to know someone
If they want the sex talk from the get go, chances are, we aren't a natural fit |
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By *rReyMan
over a year ago
Fleet |
I struggle with the grey area and when I haven't chatted to someone for a day or two (or more) then drop back in, I worry. I worry they presume I'm bored of chatting elsewhere, so I've come back to them. When all I'm trying to do is (poorly) juggle conversation. |
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"I struggle with the grey area and when I haven't chatted to someone for a day or two (or more) then drop back in, I worry. I worry they presume I'm bored of chatting elsewhere, so I've come back to them. When all I'm trying to do is (poorly) juggle conversation. "
I get that, I really do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I struggle with the grey area and when I haven't chatted to someone for a day or two (or more) then drop back in, I worry. I worry they presume I'm bored of chatting elsewhere, so I've come back to them. When all I'm trying to do is (poorly) juggle conversation. "
Don’t worry- that’s the nature of Fab - I don’t chat to my friends every day. They’d be bored stiff of me if I did. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I let them message but keep the communication brief. I’ve found that eventually it dries up.
Good tactic, it seems to work on me alright "
I didn’t know you’d messaged me |
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"I can usually tell if they think the chatting is going to lead somewhere and then I remind them that it really isn't, so if they think I'm leading them on then that's their problem and not mine."
If I do that I'm a bitch who's wasted their time leading them on. I tend to be much more direct, early, now. If I'm going to be a bitch, might as well get it over with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's good to talk
Not everything on fab has to be about meet ups and sex
As long as you both know where you're coming from and no one's leading anyone on "
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