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Can this idea work?
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Me and the wife have decided to allow me to play on here, this was a decision taken some time ago!
We have very different sex drives and this is kind of a last ditch attempt to keep an otherwise solid relationship going. The alternative I suppose would be that we either part ways (not ideal we have children) or that I put up with the sexless marriage and we survive as a platonic couple more like room mates than husband and wife and wife
Has anyone got any experience of this? Has it been successful?
Ladies I’m probably asking in the wrong place as you’re here but have you any experience of this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You’re going to get annihilated for this question ...
"
I agree even if it is a real question and relevant to so many
I’m afraid I don’t have an answer or an experienced opinion
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You’re going to get annihilated for this question ...
I agree even if it is a real question and relevant to so many
I’m afraid I don’t have an answer or an experienced opinion
"
It’s the wording that will or may cause a tad amount animosity |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are thousands of different dynamics that work within couples. What works for one, won't necessarily work for another.
That arrangement wouldn't work for me...but it's your relationship.
Good luck OP.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Does your wife want be kept informed about who you meet? Agreeing to it is one thing but the reality may be harder to handle.
All that I can say is make sure that you pay your wife lots of attention as well as the family unit. Your relationship should be more than sex anyway
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Reading your profile I think a lot will struggle to believe that your wife consents without being able to speak to your wife. I play with my husbands consent even though he isn't interested in what I get up to people are welcome to chat to him and make sure he's cool with everything |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest that's largely why I joined. I have one veri from an unlos who I have had a couple of drinks with occasionally. I did have a mmf 3some a few years ago which at the time I enjoyed but having been asked for another I declined a few times.
At the back of my mind, I'd rather be with the mrs, even though I know it's unlikely to happen (been over two years now). I enjoy the banter on the forums and won't rule out a meet, but if I meet anyone here, it's got to be more than just a quick hookup, it needs to be for something adventurous.
The reality is that while a few people have got my attention, we've never managed to get things sorted out for a meet, either it turns out they aren't being as honest with their intentions as it first appeared or they just go quiet on me.
At the moment I'm not really looking to meet but if the right opportunity presents itself I'm open to it.
I did meet a cd when I first joined fab. Had a bj and ran a mile, showered in bleach and got really screwed up by it. That was before the mmf threesome which I really enjoyed. |
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You need to read your own strap line as it makes you look a bit hypocritical -so are you trying to save your relationship or are you just one of 1000's cheating men on here? I'd expect confirmation you are playing with consent from your partner. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It wouldn’t be for me.
And I probably wouldn’t believe it, unless I actually spoke to your wife. But I probably just wouldn’t meet you, I’d feel it wouldn’t be worth the hassle. So many men play the ‘oh my wife knows I’m here, she just doesn’t want to know about it...’ card to try and justify cheating.
Not saying that’s the case for you. Its just very common. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes it can work. I'd be happy with that arrangement if I was her. I understand why she wouldn't want to be chatting with the people you meet.
However most women will assume you're cheating and won't meet you. Some won't care and prefer the way you are looking. Good luck.  |
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I'm sorry I have no answers for you mate only a question. I noticed in your opening post you mention your children as a reason why it not ideal I think you put it that you end your relationship with your wife. My question is do you concider your children the only reason for continuing your relationship. If you do I would suggest and speaking from being a father myself you reconsider your thinking on that as in my mind your broken relationship will only contribute to your children unhappiness. Children are not a valid reason to continue in a broken relationship. I. Sorry it's just my opinion nothing more. Best of luck my friend. |
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The relationship is generally great all in all. The lack of a physical relationship however is beginning to put strain on it if we are honest! Hence this avenue being explored . She has very little to no interest of hearing what I may be up to and with whom, she said this may change in time however at the minute it’s just too new.
Totally understand people being cautious as I’m sure there are many who have and will continue to exploit the situation. Not a great deal o can do about that to be honest. Thanks for the replies so far! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When my mrs stopped meeting she did say i could carry on by myself, i had one meet after she said that and i knew she wasn’t best pleased, so i’ve not met anyone since, waiting for her to get back to meeting again before i have another meet myself. |
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Some of the most popular forum contributors are in a similar position to you op and do get meets. It does work but it's very much about how you manage the situation and how you word your requests. I've noticed that the successful guys mention their partner and situation briefly and without referring to their reasons, they also never discuss their partner in the forum.
I think that if you wish to continue with any success you should just do your thing quietly. |
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"Communication with her is key"
How do you mean?
We have agreed that I will be upfront about where I am going and when, she has also asked that she read the message on the profile to be sure that it’s nothing more than what we have discussed. She has said that she’s possibly be happier if it were 1-2 regular people rather than lots of different ones. ( doubt I have that ability anyways to be honest ha ha) I’m sure to be fairly low down on people’s lists. |
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"Reading your profile I think a lot will struggle to believe that your wife consents without being able to speak to your wife. I play with my husbands consent even though he isn't interested in what I get up to people are welcome to chat to him and make sure he's cool with everything"
Any pointers as to how I can change the angle of my profile would be most welcome. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lots of couples have meets where only one partner plays. For example the wife fucks another man but the husband never joins in or just watches.
Or they play 'separate room' with other people in different locations.
I see it as the same thing really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me and the wife have decided to allow me to play on here, this was a decision taken some time ago!
We have very different sex drives and this is kind of a last ditch attempt to keep an otherwise solid relationship going. The alternative I suppose would be that we either part ways (not ideal we have children) or that I put up with the sexless marriage and we survive as a platonic couple more like room mates than husband and wife and wife
Has anyone got any experience of this? Has it been successful?
Ladies I’m probably asking in the wrong place as you’re here but have you any experience of this "
I know this wasn't advice asked, OP, however I am curious; was her sex drive higher when you first met and she has now lost interest in sex? Or has it always been low and now has become an issue for you? |
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"Me and the wife have decided to allow me to play on here, this was a decision taken some time ago!
We have very different sex drives and this is kind of a last ditch attempt to keep an otherwise solid relationship going. The alternative I suppose would be that we either part ways (not ideal we have children) or that I put up with the sexless marriage and we survive as a platonic couple more like room mates than husband and wife and wife
Has anyone got any experience of this? Has it been successful?
Ladies I’m probably asking in the wrong place as you’re here but have you any experience of this
I know this wasn't advice asked, OP, however I am curious; was her sex drive higher when you first met and she has now lost interest in sex? Or has it always been low and now has become an issue for you?"
It was always lower than mine, but had become more apparent in recent years. The stresses of life are harder on some than others I guess! It’s become an issue for us both more recently.
We have exhausted most other avenues, hence this drastic measure. |
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"Lots of couples have meets where only one partner plays. For example the wife fucks another man but the husband never joins in or just watches.
Or they play 'separate room' with other people in different locations.
I see it as the same thing really. "
Great to hear that some people are comfortable with the idea. Hopefully it’s a good sign of things to come ! Fingers crossed eh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me and the wife have decided to allow me to play on here, this was a decision taken some time ago!
We have very different sex drives and this is kind of a last ditch attempt to keep an otherwise solid relationship going. The alternative I suppose would be that we either part ways (not ideal we have children) or that I put up with the sexless marriage and we survive as a platonic couple more like room mates than husband and wife and wife
Has anyone got any experience of this? Has it been successful?
Ladies I’m probably asking in the wrong place as you’re here but have you any experience of this
I know this wasn't advice asked, OP, however I am curious; was her sex drive higher when you first met and she has now lost interest in sex? Or has it always been low and now has become an issue for you?
It was always lower than mine, but had become more apparent in recent years. The stresses of life are harder on some than others I guess! It’s become an issue for us both more recently.
We have exhausted most other avenues, hence this drastic measure. "
Have you tried taking some of the stress away from her, and making her feel like she is an amazing princess? Or is the sex with other people a big want from you now? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Me and the wife have decided to allow me to play on here, this was a decision taken some time ago!
We have very different sex drives and this is kind of a last ditch attempt to keep an otherwise solid relationship going. The alternative I suppose would be that we either part ways (not ideal we have children) or that I put up with the sexless marriage and we survive as a platonic couple more like room mates than husband and wife and wife
Has anyone got any experience of this? Has it been successful?
Ladies I’m probably asking in the wrong place as you’re here but have you any experience of this "
I'm in a similar situation. My wife for various reasons has gone right off sex but is happy for me to meet other women & couples for sex,as long as I put her & my family first & don't spend the night with anyone else. It's worked ok for us,not that I've had many meets in the last few years. I don't go into any details about who I see & exactly what we get upto unless she asks me. Every marriage is different so wouldn't necessarily work for every one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't see why it wouldn't work. If you're happy everywhere else in your relationship and she is truly OK with you going elsewhere for sex I think it will be fine. My advice would be don't catch feelings and make sure that you're honest with her and communicate with each other. Good luck OP. |
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"Me and the wife have decided to allow me to play on here, this was a decision taken some time ago!
We have very different sex drives and this is kind of a last ditch attempt to keep an otherwise solid relationship going. The alternative I suppose would be that we either part ways (not ideal we have children) or that I put up with the sexless marriage and we survive as a platonic couple more like room mates than husband and wife and wife
Has anyone got any experience of this? Has it been successful?
Ladies I’m probably asking in the wrong place as you’re here but have you any experience of this
I know this wasn't advice asked, OP, however I am curious; was her sex drive higher when you first met and she has now lost interest in sex? Or has it always been low and now has become an issue for you?
It was always lower than mine, but had become more apparent in recent years. The stresses of life are harder on some than others I guess! It’s become an issue for us both more recently.
We have exhausted most other avenues, hence this drastic measure.
Have you tried taking some of the stress away from her, and making her feel like she is an amazing princess? Or is the sex with other people a big want from you now?"
This was actually her suggestion, we’ve tried almost all other things. We have imposed sex bans to take away the pressure, spoken about this in Greta detail many times. We’ve booked trips away, bought toys and games. Even tried scheduling sex! Nothing has worked and has ultimately left me feeling dissatisfied and her feeling as though she’s failing |
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I feel sad whenever I read about things like this.
When I was in my teens, I somewhere, read a phrase which says "love will come and go but friendship last forever".
My naive idea at that time was love will get the 2 people married and friendship between them will keep them together.
Whatever your choice OP, I wish both of you and your partner the best.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me and the wife have decided to allow me to play on here, this was a decision taken some time ago!
We have very different sex drives and this is kind of a last ditch attempt to keep an otherwise solid relationship going. The alternative I suppose would be that we either part ways (not ideal we have children) or that I put up with the sexless marriage and we survive as a platonic couple more like room mates than husband and wife and wife
Has anyone got any experience of this? Has it been successful?
Ladies I’m probably asking in the wrong place as you’re here but have you any experience of this
I know this wasn't advice asked, OP, however I am curious; was her sex drive higher when you first met and she has now lost interest in sex? Or has it always been low and now has become an issue for you?
It was always lower than mine, but had become more apparent in recent years. The stresses of life are harder on some than others I guess! It’s become an issue for us both more recently.
We have exhausted most other avenues, hence this drastic measure.
Have you tried taking some of the stress away from her, and making her feel like she is an amazing princess? Or is the sex with other people a big want from you now?
This was actually her suggestion, we’ve tried almost all other things. We have imposed sex bans to take away the pressure, spoken about this in Greta detail many times. We’ve booked trips away, bought toys and games. Even tried scheduling sex! Nothing has worked and has ultimately left me feeling dissatisfied and her feeling as though she’s failing "
Aw that's really sad but so good that you are open and communicating.. I wish you good luck op. |
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