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Your trials did not come to punish you but to awaken you!
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Not me. I don believe 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' either. It's all along the same lines that religion tells us i.e. suffering is good.
Take what you can from bad experiences and learn from them but that is all. |
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Victim blaming bullshit.
Sometimes bad things happen. Some people overcome and thrive. Others sink. Still others become worse at coping.
It's all very well to wrap a neat bow around it and say there must be a good reason for it, but in my experience it just serves to make other people less uncomfortable about the suffering going on around them.
Maybe if more people were uncomfortable shit would get fixed. |
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"Who believes in it? "
I've never thought that when things go badly wrong its to "punish" me.
I do think that even when everything goes severely tits up you can learn from it and even ultimately benefit from it.
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"Victim blaming bullshit.
Sometimes bad things happen. Some people overcome and thrive. Others sink. Still others become worse at coping.
It's all very well to wrap a neat bow around it and say there must be a good reason for it, but in my experience it just serves to make other people less uncomfortable about the suffering going on around them.
Maybe if more people were uncomfortable shit would get fixed. "
Yep.
It's all lumped together with karma and the concept of heaven and hell.
Oh your legs hanging off, you must have done something really bad for that to happen |
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"Victim blaming bullshit.
Sometimes bad things happen. Some people overcome and thrive. Others sink. Still others become worse at coping.
It's all very well to wrap a neat bow around it and say there must be a good reason for it, but in my experience it just serves to make other people less uncomfortable about the suffering going on around them.
Maybe if more people were uncomfortable shit would get fixed. "
Well said!  |
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I've seen some shit, and I'm probably now strong. Because of it? Maybe. But please tell me that that was worth a quarter of a century of my life, ongoing health problems, etc. That it couldn't have been done another way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who believes in it?
I've never thought that when things go badly wrong its to "punish" me.
I do think that even when everything goes severely tits up you can learn from it and even ultimately benefit from it.
"
I think this has applied in my life.
However I can also think of some of the shit people, I have known, have gone through, it is very hard to see any positives in it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Victim blaming bullshit.
Sometimes bad things happen. Some people overcome and thrive. Others sink. Still others become worse at coping.
It's all very well to wrap a neat bow around it and say there must be a good reason for it, but in my experience it just serves to make other people less uncomfortable about the suffering going on around them.
Maybe if more people were uncomfortable shit would get fixed. "
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"Your trials did not come to punish you but to awaken you"
Are people misreading this or am I missing something?
My interpretation of the above is opposite of what some of you are saying.
Trials aren't "a punishment" or "karma"...but you can learn from them, or they can make you reassess things, or try to change things.
I read that as a positive statement, not an accusatory one.
|
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""Your trials did not come to punish you but to awaken you"
Are people misreading this or am I missing something?
My interpretation of the above is opposite of what some of you are saying.
Trials aren't "a punishment" or "karma"...but you can learn from them, or they can make you reassess things, or try to change things.
I read that as a positive statement, not an accusatory one.
"
But the flip side of it is that suffering is a learning opportunity, often to be embraced. Fuck that shit. |
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"I've seen some shit, and I'm probably now strong. Because of it? Maybe. But please tell me that that was worth a quarter of a century of my life, ongoing health problems, etc. That it couldn't have been done another way."
Yes, we've had some really tough times. It's made us wiser, more experienced and able to help other people in similar situations but as you say we could have got where we are an easier way. Read bad stuff happens, there isn't a reason and telling someone whose child has a terminal illness for instance that its designed to awaken them would earn a well deserved decking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've seen some shit, and I'm probably now strong. Because of it? Maybe. But please tell me that that was worth a quarter of a century of my life, ongoing health problems, etc. That it couldn't have been done another way.
Yes, we've had some really tough times. It's made us wiser, more experienced and able to help other people in similar situations but as you say we could have got where we are an easier way. Read bad stuff happens, there isn't a reason and telling someone whose child has a terminal illness for instance that its designed to awaken them would earn a well deserved decking."
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"I've seen some shit, and I'm probably now strong. Because of it? Maybe. But please tell me that that was worth a quarter of a century of my life, ongoing health problems, etc. That it couldn't have been done another way.
Yes, we've had some really tough times. It's made us wiser, more experienced and able to help other people in similar situations but as you say we could have got where we are an easier way. Read bad stuff happens, there isn't a reason and telling someone whose child has a terminal illness for instance that its designed to awaken them would earn a well deserved decking."
I occasionally see people telling children with terminal illnesses or who've otherwise suffered horrifically that it's worth it to strengthen the people around them. And I'm sort of like, fuck you with something tetanus laden and let me have your tetanus immunity while you're at it. |
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""Your trials did not come to punish you but to awaken you"
Are people misreading this or am I missing something?
My interpretation of the above is opposite of what some of you are saying.
Trials aren't "a punishment" or "karma"...but you can learn from them, or they can make you reassess things, or try to change things.
I read that as a positive statement, not an accusatory one.
But the flip side of it is that suffering is a learning opportunity, often to be embraced. Fuck that shit. "
Valid point.
Another viewpoint is you can learn from something without embracing it.
I've had less than positive life experiences , shall we say, that I certainly wouldn't embrace but I've definitely learnt from. |
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""Your trials did not come to punish you but to awaken you"
Are people misreading this or am I missing something?
My interpretation of the above is opposite of what some of you are saying.
Trials aren't "a punishment" or "karma"...but you can learn from them, or they can make you reassess things, or try to change things.
I read that as a positive statement, not an accusatory one.
"
If you can look at a bad experience and acknowledge your part in making it happen, change yourself, move on and become a happier better person that's great. However one experience I had in particular that left me numb with shock has absolutely nothing about it that I can learn, change or reassess. It was a pointless, random, awful event that nobody benefited from in any way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Your trials did not come to punish you but to awaken you"
Are people misreading this or am I missing something?
My interpretation of the above is opposite of what some of you are saying.
Trials aren't "a punishment" or "karma"...but you can learn from them, or they can make you reassess things, or try to change things.
I read that as a positive statement, not an accusatory one.
But the flip side of it is that suffering is a learning opportunity, often to be embraced. Fuck that shit.
Valid point.
Another viewpoint is you can learn from something without embracing it.
I've had less than positive life experiences , shall we say, that I certainly wouldn't embrace but I've definitely learnt from."
I’m all for framing things positively and reframing our experiences but allowing people to feel what they are feeling and empathising is far more powerful than a trite cliché that can discourage the very real present suffering of people. |
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""Your trials did not come to punish you but to awaken you"
Are people misreading this or am I missing something?
My interpretation of the above is opposite of what some of you are saying.
Trials aren't "a punishment" or "karma"...but you can learn from them, or they can make you reassess things, or try to change things.
I read that as a positive statement, not an accusatory one.
But the flip side of it is that suffering is a learning opportunity, often to be embraced. Fuck that shit.
Valid point.
Another viewpoint is you can learn from something without embracing it.
I've had less than positive life experiences , shall we say, that I certainly wouldn't embrace but I've definitely learnt from."
Yes, but my extensive experience with both the suffering and the reaction to it is that people have tried to make it into some sort of redemption story. Maybe I wouldn't have needed redeeming if people had been less self-satisfied and helped me when I was helpless and needed rescuing? Maybe I would have been stronger as a person without having to shovel all that shit? |
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A well known quote by Paramahansa yoganadi
Just enlightenment bullshit.......
A bit of scouse bullshit might be ........
The light that leaves you , leaves you not because you are not worthy of light but because you are worthy of being touched by a far greater force xxx
OR.
Turn around n walk or i'll punch your fucking lights out.
Both are true. One is more easily understood. |
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""Your trials did not come to punish you but to awaken you"
Are people misreading this or am I missing something?
My interpretation of the above is opposite of what some of you are saying.
Trials aren't "a punishment" or "karma"...but you can learn from them, or they can make you reassess things, or try to change things.
I read that as a positive statement, not an accusatory one.
But the flip side of it is that suffering is a learning opportunity, often to be embraced. Fuck that shit.
Valid point.
Another viewpoint is you can learn from something without embracing it.
I've had less than positive life experiences , shall we say, that I certainly wouldn't embrace but I've definitely learnt from.
I’m all for framing things positively and reframing our experiences but allowing people to feel what they are feeling and empathising is far more powerful than a trite cliché that can discourage the very real present suffering of people."
Exactly! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
""Your trials did not come to punish you but to awaken you"
Are people misreading this or am I missing something?
My interpretation of the above is opposite of what some of you are saying.
Trials aren't "a punishment" or "karma"...but you can learn from them, or they can make you reassess things, or try to change things.
I read that as a positive statement, not an accusatory one.
But the flip side of it is that suffering is a learning opportunity, often to be embraced. Fuck that shit.
Valid point.
Another viewpoint is you can learn from something without embracing it.
I've had less than positive life experiences , shall we say, that I certainly wouldn't embrace but I've definitely learnt from.
I’m all for framing things positively and reframing our experiences but allowing people to feel what they are feeling and empathising is far more powerful than a trite cliché that can discourage the very real present suffering of people.
Exactly! "
That was meant to say ‘discount the ..suffering’ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who believes in it? "
Sounds a bit too much like religious talk to me. Why are we required to be tested? Who has the right to test us?
My opinion. Life is full of ups and downs, trials- don’t like that word. We fail, we sink, we survive, we thrive. All parts together make up a normal life. At the time we’re living anyy of these parts, we can be consumed by the intensity of them. Later, perhaps, we can reflect and learn something from them. Sometimes however, it’s better to just leave the past in the past.  |
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"Who believes in it?
Sounds a bit too much like religious talk to me. Why are we required to be tested? Who has the right to test us?
My opinion. Life is full of ups and downs, trials- don’t like that word. We fail, we sink, we survive, we thrive. All parts together make up a normal life. At the time we’re living anyy of these parts, we can be consumed by the intensity of them. Later, perhaps, we can reflect and learn something from them. Sometimes however, it’s better to just leave the past in the past. "
And don’t you forget it OP. Consider yourself told  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
""Your trials did not come to punish you but to awaken you"
Are people misreading this or am I missing something?
My interpretation of the above is opposite of what some of you are saying.
Trials aren't "a punishment" or "karma"...but you can learn from them, or they can make you reassess things, or try to change things.
I read that as a positive statement, not an accusatory one.
But the flip side of it is that suffering is a learning opportunity, often to be embraced. Fuck that shit.
Valid point.
Another viewpoint is you can learn from something without embracing it.
I've had less than positive life experiences , shall we say, that I certainly wouldn't embrace but I've definitely learnt from.
I’m all for framing things positively and reframing our experiences but allowing people to feel what they are feeling and empathising is far more powerful than a trite cliché that can discourage the very real present suffering of people.
Exactly!
That was meant to say ‘discount the ..suffering’"
Indeed. Would I be the person I am today without the past? No. Do I want to be the person I am today? Not really, I'd much rather have not gone through all that crap, not have/had PTSD and a breakdown.
The only positive I can pull from it is that I'm alive and do have a future which I didn't before, not one that contained smiles anyway, and that hopefully I can give hope to others that they can be happy after going through trauma. I just wish there weren't the hidden scars that pop up when you least expect them and the constant learning about what you can and can't handle.
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Your trials did not come to punish you but to awaken you"
Are people misreading this or am I missing something?
My interpretation of the above is opposite of what some of you are saying.
Trials aren't "a punishment" or "karma"...but you can learn from them, or they can make you reassess things, or try to change things.
I read that as a positive statement, not an accusatory one.
But the flip side of it is that suffering is a learning opportunity, often to be embraced. Fuck that shit.
Valid point.
Another viewpoint is you can learn from something without embracing it.
I've had less than positive life experiences , shall we say, that I certainly wouldn't embrace but I've definitely learnt from.
I’m all for framing things positively and reframing our experiences but allowing people to feel what they are feeling and empathising is far more powerful than a trite cliché that can discourage the very real present suffering of people.
Exactly!
That was meant to say ‘discount the ..suffering’
Indeed. Would I be the person I am today without the past? No. Do I want to be the person I am today? Not really, I'd much rather have not gone through all that crap, not have/had PTSD and a breakdown.
The only positive I can pull from it is that I'm alive and do have a future which I didn't before, not one that contained smiles anyway, and that hopefully I can give hope to others that they can be happy after going through trauma. I just wish there weren't the hidden scars that pop up when you least expect them and the constant learning about what you can and can't handle.
P"
Hugs xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who believes in it?
Sounds a bit too much like religious talk to me. Why are we required to be tested? Who has the right to test us?
My opinion. Life is full of ups and downs, trials- don’t like that word. We fail, we sink, we survive, we thrive. All parts together make up a normal life. At the time we’re living anyy of these parts, we can be consumed by the intensity of them. Later, perhaps, we can reflect and learn something from them. Sometimes however, it’s better to just leave the past in the past.
And don’t you forget it OP. Consider yourself told "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep I agree. I have grown so much through challenges I've faced. And am able to take a long hard look at myself in the mirror and be honest about the type of person I am.
Ego is well and truly out of the door for me now, I am enlightened |
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""Your trials did not come to punish you but to awaken you"
Are people misreading this or am I missing something?
My interpretation of the above is opposite of what some of you are saying.
Trials aren't "a punishment" or "karma"...but you can learn from them, or they can make you reassess things, or try to change things.
I read that as a positive statement, not an accusatory one.
But the flip side of it is that suffering is a learning opportunity, often to be embraced. Fuck that shit.
Valid point.
Another viewpoint is you can learn from something without embracing it.
I've had less than positive life experiences , shall we say, that I certainly wouldn't embrace but I've definitely learnt from.
I’m all for framing things positively and reframing our experiences but allowing people to feel what they are feeling and empathising is far more powerful than a trite cliché that can discourage the very real present suffering of people."
The two aren't mutually exclusive?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Your trials did not come to punish you but to awaken you"
Are people misreading this or am I missing something?
My interpretation of the above is opposite of what some of you are saying.
Trials aren't "a punishment" or "karma"...but you can learn from them, or they can make you reassess things, or try to change things.
I read that as a positive statement, not an accusatory one.
But the flip side of it is that suffering is a learning opportunity, often to be embraced. Fuck that shit.
Valid point.
Another viewpoint is you can learn from something without embracing it.
I've had less than positive life experiences , shall we say, that I certainly wouldn't embrace but I've definitely learnt from.
I’m all for framing things positively and reframing our experiences but allowing people to feel what they are feeling and empathising is far more powerful than a trite cliché that can discourage the very real present suffering of people.
The two aren't mutually exclusive?
"
They may be at a particular moment in time. We work through our ordeals and painful experiences at our own pace. Childhood and adolescent traumas and the associated repressed emotions, in my experience, can’t simply be dealt with by positive reframing. That reframing comes as those emotions are processed in a healthy way. An injunction to view things as a wake up call rather than a punishment is at best unhelpful and more realistically disrespectful and lacking compassion. The traumatised child, adolescent or adult in us needs nurturing and to experience love, not to be presented with platitudes.
Of course I may be wrong though |
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""Your trials did not come to punish you but to awaken you"
Are people misreading this or am I missing something?
My interpretation of the above is opposite of what some of you are saying.
Trials aren't "a punishment" or "karma"...but you can learn from them, or they can make you reassess things, or try to change things.
I read that as a positive statement, not an accusatory one.
But the flip side of it is that suffering is a learning opportunity, often to be embraced. Fuck that shit.
Valid point.
Another viewpoint is you can learn from something without embracing it.
I've had less than positive life experiences , shall we say, that I certainly wouldn't embrace but I've definitely learnt from.
I’m all for framing things positively and reframing our experiences but allowing people to feel what they are feeling and empathising is far more powerful than a trite cliché that can discourage the very real present suffering of people.
The two aren't mutually exclusive?
They may be at a particular moment in time. We work through our ordeals and painful experiences at our own pace. Childhood and adolescent traumas and the associated repressed emotions, in my experience, can’t simply be dealt with by positive reframing. That reframing comes as those emotions are processed in a healthy way. An injunction to view things as a wake up call rather than a punishment is at best unhelpful and more realistically disrespectful and lacking compassion. The traumatised child, adolescent or adult in us needs nurturing and to experience love, not to be presented with platitudes.
Of course I may be wrong though"
Again I agree with you.
Years ago a friend of mine had a pregnancy scan that showed a possible problem. She came straight to my house because as she said she knew I would say "oh shit!" rather than dish put platitudes. We need to acknowledge that sometimes bad things have to be borne and only acceptance that it happened for no particular reason will allow us to live with it peacefully |
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"Who believes in it? what about my tribulations?  "
If life gives you lemons make lemonade, what does not kill you makes you stronger, you will get your reward in heaven, god/the universe only sends trials and tribulations to those strong enough to bear them, karma is paying you a visit and other random crap designed to make the person saying it to you feel as if they've helped . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Your trials did not come to punish you but to awaken you"
Are people misreading this or am I missing something?
My interpretation of the above is opposite of what some of you are saying.
Trials aren't "a punishment" or "karma"...but you can learn from them, or they can make you reassess things, or try to change things.
I read that as a positive statement, not an accusatory one.
But the flip side of it is that suffering is a learning opportunity, often to be embraced. Fuck that shit.
Valid point.
Another viewpoint is you can learn from something without embracing it.
I've had less than positive life experiences , shall we say, that I certainly wouldn't embrace but I've definitely learnt from.
I’m all for framing things positively and reframing our experiences but allowing people to feel what they are feeling and empathising is far more powerful than a trite cliché that can discourage the very real present suffering of people.
The two aren't mutually exclusive?
They may be at a particular moment in time. We work through our ordeals and painful experiences at our own pace. Childhood and adolescent traumas and the associated repressed emotions, in my experience, can’t simply be dealt with by positive reframing. That reframing comes as those emotions are processed in a healthy way. An injunction to view things as a wake up call rather than a punishment is at best unhelpful and more realistically disrespectful and lacking compassion. The traumatised child, adolescent or adult in us needs nurturing and to experience love, not to be presented with platitudes.
Of course I may be wrong though
Again I agree with you.
Years ago a friend of mine had a pregnancy scan that showed a possible problem. She came straight to my house because as she said she knew I would say "oh shit!" rather than dish put platitudes. We need to acknowledge that sometimes bad things have to be borne and only acceptance that it happened for no particular reason will allow us to live with it peacefully"
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To be fair a few years my old happy life and future plans were completely torn away from me. My concepts of what I thought was reality shattered. Leacing me not knowing what was real and what was manipulation. Leaving me lost, broken, in a new scary world with a huge load of things to shoulder going forward. I rebuilt my self and started to move forward. From despair I'm navigating my way into a new more complex, less certain but more rewarding world. I am not the same man I was a few years ago. I am stronger, wiser and a better person. I have far better understanding of my self, others and the world we live in. Life is harder these day and far more complicated than when I was just the head of a traditional nuclear family. But I am happy, I have found true love and although the future is not so clear cut anymore I know I will make the world a better place and I will be ok. So as sad and broken as I was I'd never change things. I'd would trade true love and the understanding I have now over the blissful lies and ignorance of my former easy chocolate box life. I don't believe my struggles were sent to make me better but I do believe they have made me more awake and wiser than ever before. |
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"To be fair a few years my old happy life and future plans were completely torn away from me. My concepts of what I thought was reality shattered. Leacing me not knowing what was real and what was manipulation. Leaving me lost, broken, in a new scary world with a huge load of things to shoulder going forward. I rebuilt my self and started to move forward. From despair I'm navigating my way into a new more complex, less certain but more rewarding world. I am not the same man I was a few years ago. I am stronger, wiser and a better person. I have far better understanding of my self, others and the world we live in. Life is harder these day and far more complicated than when I was just the head of a traditional nuclear family. But I am happy, I have found true love and although the future is not so clear cut anymore I know I will make the world a better place and I will be ok. So as sad and broken as I was I'd never change things. I'd would trade true love and the understanding I have now over the blissful lies and ignorance of my former easy chocolate box life. I don't believe my struggles were sent to make me better but I do believe they have made me more awake and wiser than ever before."
Yes, some life experiences do work out that way, just not all. |
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In fact now I've thought about it trials aren't sent by anyone or anything they either randomly happen or they're a consequence of your or someone else's actions. Some can be dealt with and eventually you can learn, grow and become a stronger wiser person 'if' you have the emotional maturity, strength of character and support so to do. Others can't be processed in such a way either because you don't possess the qualities required or because there is absolutely nothing but sadness to be found in the experience. |
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"Who believes in it? what about my tribulations?
If life gives you lemons make lemonade, what does not kill you makes you stronger, you will get your reward in heaven, god/the universe only sends trials and tribulations to those strong enough to bear them, karma is paying you a visit and other random crap designed to make the person saying it to you feel as if they've helped . you did I feel at home with my lot "
Good, I feel I was put on this earth to spout platitudes. Walk your own path kimosabe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who believes in it?
I don't believe in any higher force sending trials to test/punish/awaken or anything else.
I think that shit happens and we must do our best to deal with it.
Cal"
the process of natural evolution succinctly put |
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"Who believes in it? what about my tribulations?
If life gives you lemons make lemonade, what does not kill you makes you stronger, you will get your reward in heaven, god/the universe only sends trials and tribulations to those strong enough to bear them, karma is paying you a visit and other random crap designed to make the person saying it to you feel as if they've helped . you did I feel at home with my lot
Good, I feel I was put on this earth to spout platitudes. Walk your own path kimosabe.lol OK I may stumble periodically "
That's ok the angels will lift you up and set you back on your path to enlightenment through intense emotional pain
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"To be fair a few years my old happy life and future plans were completely torn away from me. My concepts of what I thought was reality shattered. Leacing me not knowing what was real and what was manipulation. Leaving me lost, broken, in a new scary world with a huge load of things to shoulder going forward. I rebuilt my self and started to move forward. From despair I'm navigating my way into a new more complex, less certain but more rewarding world. I am not the same man I was a few years ago. I am stronger, wiser and a better person. I have far better understanding of my self, others and the world we live in. Life is harder these day and far more complicated than when I was just the head of a traditional nuclear family. But I am happy, I have found true love and although the future is not so clear cut anymore I know I will make the world a better place and I will be ok. So as sad and broken as I was I'd never change things. I'd would trade true love and the understanding I have now over the blissful lies and ignorance of my former easy chocolate box life. I don't believe my struggles were sent to make me better but I do believe they have made me more awake and wiser than ever before.
Yes, some life experiences do work out that way, just not all."
Yep, I agree. Like I said I don't believe it was sent by some divine hand or something like that. Just the way the cookie crumbled for me. Likewise I take a very cynical veiw on the phase what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Maybe sometimes but often it leaves you damaged and less capable. But sometimes destruction does bread new life. |
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"To be fair a few years my old happy life and future plans were completely torn away from me. My concepts of what I thought was reality shattered. Leacing me not knowing what was real and what was manipulation. Leaving me lost, broken, in a new scary world with a huge load of things to shoulder going forward. I rebuilt my self and started to move forward. From despair I'm navigating my way into a new more complex, less certain but more rewarding world. I am not the same man I was a few years ago. I am stronger, wiser and a better person. I have far better understanding of my self, others and the world we live in. Life is harder these day and far more complicated than when I was just the head of a traditional nuclear family. But I am happy, I have found true love and although the future is not so clear cut anymore I know I will make the world a better place and I will be ok. So as sad and broken as I was I'd never change things. I'd would trade true love and the understanding I have now over the blissful lies and ignorance of my former easy chocolate box life. I don't believe my struggles were sent to make me better but I do believe they have made me more awake and wiser than ever before.
Yes, some life experiences do work out that way, just not all.
Yep, I agree. Like I said I don't believe it was sent by some divine hand or something like that. Just the way the cookie crumbled for me. Likewise I take a very cynical veiw on the phase what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Maybe sometimes but often it leaves you damaged and less capable. But sometimes destruction does bread new life."
Yes it does I think humans try to find meaning in everything. How many times do we hear the phrase 'We didn't want their death to be meaningless' from bereaved parents who are raising money in their child's name.
Of the people I know who experienced the awfulness of cot death one became an alcoholic who made a pretty good job of ruining her other children's lives the other tried to help people going through the same thing.
Life is hard, then you die. |
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"Not me. I don believe 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' either. It's all along the same lines that religion tells us i.e. suffering is good.
Take what you can from bad experiences and learn from them but that is all."
I agree,my experiences haven't made me stronger they've just chipped away at me making me weaker. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be fair a few years my old happy life and future plans were completely torn away from me. My concepts of what I thought was reality shattered. Leacing me not knowing what was real and what was manipulation. Leaving me lost, broken, in a new scary world with a huge load of things to shoulder going forward. I rebuilt my self and started to move forward. From despair I'm navigating my way into a new more complex, less certain but more rewarding world. I am not the same man I was a few years ago. I am stronger, wiser and a better person. I have far better understanding of my self, others and the world we live in. Life is harder these day and far more complicated than when I was just the head of a traditional nuclear family. But I am happy, I have found true love and although the future is not so clear cut anymore I know I will make the world a better place and I will be ok. So as sad and broken as I was I'd never change things. I'd would trade true love and the understanding I have now over the blissful lies and ignorance of my former easy chocolate box life. I don't believe my struggles were sent to make me better but I do believe they have made me more awake and wiser than ever before.
Yes, some life experiences do work out that way, just not all.
Yep, I agree. Like I said I don't believe it was sent by some divine hand or something like that. Just the way the cookie crumbled for me. Likewise I take a very cynical veiw on the phase what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Maybe sometimes but often it leaves you damaged and less capable. But sometimes destruction does bread new life.
Yes it does I think humans try to find meaning in everything. How many times do we hear the phrase 'We didn't want their death to be meaningless' from bereaved parents who are raising money in their child's name.
Of the people I know who experienced the awfulness of cot death one became an alcoholic who made a pretty good job of ruining her other children's lives the other tried to help people going through the same thing.
Life is hard, then you die."
yes work work work eat sleep work work work eat sleep.......... Die omg I'm retiring now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No I don’t, my sons were too little to learn from serious illness though it’s had lifelong repercussions for them. Have I learned from my trials, yes but there has to be easier less damaging ways x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like to think that we need the bad times.. to fully appreciate the good times when they come along.
It's TRUE, but it just is, there's no reason, rhyme, or fate to it. Just life and death.
According to me. |
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"To be fair a few years my old happy life and future plans were completely torn away from me. My concepts of what I thought was reality shattered. Leacing me not knowing what was real and what was manipulation. Leaving me lost, broken, in a new scary world with a huge load of things to shoulder going forward. I rebuilt my self and started to move forward. From despair I'm navigating my way into a new more complex, less certain but more rewarding world. I am not the same man I was a few years ago. I am stronger, wiser and a better person. I have far better understanding of my self, others and the world we live in. Life is harder these day and far more complicated than when I was just the head of a traditional nuclear family. But I am happy, I have found true love and although the future is not so clear cut anymore I know I will make the world a better place and I will be ok. So as sad and broken as I was I'd never change things. I'd would trade true love and the understanding I have now over the blissful lies and ignorance of my former easy chocolate box life. I don't believe my struggles were sent to make me better but I do believe they have made me more awake and wiser than ever before.
Yes, some life experiences do work out that way, just not all.
Yep, I agree. Like I said I don't believe it was sent by some divine hand or something like that. Just the way the cookie crumbled for me. Likewise I take a very cynical veiw on the phase what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Maybe sometimes but often it leaves you damaged and less capable. But sometimes destruction does bread new life.
Yes it does I think humans try to find meaning in everything. How many times do we hear the phrase 'We didn't want their death to be meaningless' from bereaved parents who are raising money in their child's name.
Of the people I know who experienced the awfulness of cot death one became an alcoholic who made a pretty good job of ruining her other children's lives the other tried to help people going through the same thing.
Life is hard, then you die."
Yes, but a fatal flaw in my opinion is to live in negatively and cynicism. Negativity and gloom is destructive and contagious disease. Love, tenacity and optimism on the other hand is also contagious but repairs and builds. The world is a dark place. Sometimes it crushes people. I have seen humanity at some of its darkest in my life. There's not always a happy ending but we'll have more happy endings if don't we trade hope for dispare, tenacity for surrender, openness for ignorance and love for hate. |
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"To be fair a few years my old happy life and future plans were completely torn away from me. My concepts of what I thought was reality shattered. Leacing me not knowing what was real and what was manipulation. Leaving me lost, broken, in a new scary world with a huge load of things to shoulder going forward. I rebuilt my self and started to move forward. From despair I'm navigating my way into a new more complex, less certain but more rewarding world. I am not the same man I was a few years ago. I am stronger, wiser and a better person. I have far better understanding of my self, others and the world we live in. Life is harder these day and far more complicated than when I was just the head of a traditional nuclear family. But I am happy, I have found true love and although the future is not so clear cut anymore I know I will make the world a better place and I will be ok. So as sad and broken as I was I'd never change things. I'd would trade true love and the understanding I have now over the blissful lies and ignorance of my former easy chocolate box life. I don't believe my struggles were sent to make me better but I do believe they have made me more awake and wiser than ever before.
Yes, some life experiences do work out that way, just not all.
Yep, I agree. Like I said I don't believe it was sent by some divine hand or something like that. Just the way the cookie crumbled for me. Likewise I take a very cynical veiw on the phase what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Maybe sometimes but often it leaves you damaged and less capable. But sometimes destruction does bread new life.
Yes it does I think humans try to find meaning in everything. How many times do we hear the phrase 'We didn't want their death to be meaningless' from bereaved parents who are raising money in their child's name.
Of the people I know who experienced the awfulness of cot death one became an alcoholic who made a pretty good job of ruining her other children's lives the other tried to help people going through the same thing.
Life is hard, then you die.
Yes, but a fatal flaw in my opinion is to live in negatively and cynicism. Negativity and gloom is destructive and contagious disease. Love, tenacity and optimism on the other hand is also contagious but repairs and builds. The world is a dark place. Sometimes it crushes people. I have seen humanity at some of its darkest in my life. There's not always a happy ending but we'll have more happy endings if don't we trade hope for dispare, tenacity for surrender, openness for ignorance and love for hate."
I absolutely agree and despite my posts on this thread I try to live that way. However relentless positivity is not always useful to everyone at all times. |
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"To be fair a few years my old happy life and future plans were completely torn away from me. My concepts of what I thought was reality shattered. Leacing me not knowing what was real and what was manipulation. Leaving me lost, broken, in a new scary world with a huge load of things to shoulder going forward. I rebuilt my self and started to move forward. From despair I'm navigating my way into a new more complex, less certain but more rewarding world. I am not the same man I was a few years ago. I am stronger, wiser and a better person. I have far better understanding of my self, others and the world we live in. Life is harder these day and far more complicated than when I was just the head of a traditional nuclear family. But I am happy, I have found true love and although the future is not so clear cut anymore I know I will make the world a better place and I will be ok. So as sad and broken as I was I'd never change things. I'd would trade true love and the understanding I have now over the blissful lies and ignorance of my former easy chocolate box life. I don't believe my struggles were sent to make me better but I do believe they have made me more awake and wiser than ever before.
Yes, some life experiences do work out that way, just not all.
Yep, I agree. Like I said I don't believe it was sent by some divine hand or something like that. Just the way the cookie crumbled for me. Likewise I take a very cynical veiw on the phase what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Maybe sometimes but often it leaves you damaged and less capable. But sometimes destruction does bread new life.
Yes it does I think humans try to find meaning in everything. How many times do we hear the phrase 'We didn't want their death to be meaningless' from bereaved parents who are raising money in their child's name.
Of the people I know who experienced the awfulness of cot death one became an alcoholic who made a pretty good job of ruining her other children's lives the other tried to help people going through the same thing.
Life is hard, then you die.
Yes, but a fatal flaw in my opinion is to live in negatively and cynicism. Negativity and gloom is destructive and contagious disease. Love, tenacity and optimism on the other hand is also contagious but repairs and builds. The world is a dark place. Sometimes it crushes people. I have seen humanity at some of its darkest in my life. There's not always a happy ending but we'll have more happy endings if don't we trade hope for dispare, tenacity for surrender, openness for ignorance and love for hate.
I absolutely agree and despite my posts on this thread I try to live that way. However relentless positivity is not always useful to everyone at all times."
Personally I like to be fully at grips with the reality of a situation however dire. Positivity isn't just a Tigger like bouncy entity and it does not need naive. Sometimes positivity is quiet, it's just standing firm, just being there and moving forward. |
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