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Does anyone
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Refrain from messaging a profile when you match perfectly but are too worried that you wont be attractive enough or there type. Or just me? Lol (expects lots of just you) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I read their profile and it’s clear I’m not their type, I won’t message.
As for them being too attractive, I’ve not come across someone that I’ve wanted to contact first that I’ve found ‘too attractive’.
Usually they message me, and I’m a bit wary to begin with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Refrain from messaging a profile when you match perfectly but are too worried that you wont be attractive enough or there type. Or just me? Lol (expects lots of just you)"
Yep. Saw a meet posted earlier then decided not worth me messaging and adding to her queue of 300+ messages. Having said that swinging really has built my body confidence up no end, but that more clubs than Fab. |
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By *lex D.Man
over a year ago
London |
"Refrain from messaging a profile when you match perfectly but are too worried that you wont be attractive enough or there type. Or just me? Lol (expects lots of just you)"
Never. Because I'd match perfectly. What happens next is entirely out of my hands. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Refrain from messaging a profile when you match perfectly but are too worried that you wont be attractive enough or there type. Or just me? Lol (expects lots of just you)"
Yes but then i do it and hope for the a reply  |
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"Refrain from messaging a profile when you match perfectly but are too worried that you wont be attractive enough or there type. Or just me? Lol (expects lots of just you)"
Years ago we were doing our usual search for who was looking to meet in our vicinity. It was about 9.00 on a Friday evening and I saw a couple looking for a meet and the meet had just been put up. I was 52 at the time, my wife was 32 and I’m certainly no looker! This couple were new, joined up a week previous and the pics looked stunning with both being in their early 20s. Probably more fakes I thought, but messaged anyway with our face and body pics. Straight away an answer came back saying they’d love to meet, with face pics enclosed and their address. It was only twenty minutes away so I said we would be there in half an hour. Told the Mrs and showed her the pics, she thought the same as me, definitely fake, but we set off anyway.
Well when we got there they were exactly as they said they would be and looked just as their pics showed. Fuck me I felt old, and my wife went straight to the loo when we went in and messaged me to say she felt uncomfortable. I said we may have to make it just a social as we may have an issue with the sitter as I read the msg. They said friends of theirs were coming in five minutes and hoped we could stay. We sat chatting and my wife seemed ok then the doorbell goes and their friends, another stunning couple in their mid twenties come in. And I mean stunning, so there’s us sat there thinking wtf?
Well to cut a long story short my Mrs simply did her thing, and before I knew it all of us were having a wild time and any thoughts of us not being good enough were long gone. I took some pics and a couple of them sat as the most fabbed on here for a few days. We subsequently met them again lots of times so the moral here is never think you’re not good enough. People are people, and you could be very surprised with who floats who’s boat. What’s to lose ? |
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"Refrain from messaging a profile when you match perfectly but are too worried that you wont be attractive enough or there type. Or just me? Lol (expects lots of just you)
Years ago we were doing our usual search for who was looking to meet in our vicinity. It was about 9.00 on a Friday evening and I saw a couple looking for a meet and the meet had just been put up. I was 52 at the time, my wife was 32 and I’m certainly no looker! This couple were new, joined up a week previous and the pics looked stunning with both being in their early 20s. Probably more fakes I thought, but messaged anyway with our face and body pics. Straight away an answer came back saying they’d love to meet, with face pics enclosed and their address. It was only twenty minutes away so I said we would be there in half an hour. Told the Mrs and showed her the pics, she thought the same as me, definitely fake, but we set off anyway.
Well when we got there they were exactly as they said they would be and looked just as their pics showed. Fuck me I felt old, and my wife went straight to the loo when we went in and messaged me to say she felt uncomfortable. I said we may have to make it just a social as we may have an issue with the sitter as I read the msg. They said friends of theirs were coming in five minutes and hoped we could stay. We sat chatting and my wife seemed ok then the doorbell goes and their friends, another stunning couple in their mid twenties come in. And I mean stunning, so there’s us sat there thinking wtf?
Well to cut a long story short my Mrs simply did her thing, and before I knew it all of us were having a wild time and any thoughts of us not being good enough were long gone. I took some pics and a couple of them sat as the most fabbed on here for a few days. We subsequently met them again lots of times so the moral here is never think you’re not good enough. People are people, and you could be very surprised with who floats who’s boat. What’s to lose ?"
Great answer. Can't claim to have this exact sort of meeting, but I'm frequently surprised at the number of friends I've made on here with younger people. But then, lets face it, most people on the circuit are younger than this old codger. |
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"Refrain from messaging a profile when you match perfectly but are too worried that you wont be attractive enough or there type. Or just me? Lol (expects lots of just you)
Years ago we were doing our usual search for who was looking to meet in our vicinity. It was about 9.00 on a Friday evening and I saw a couple looking for a meet and the meet had just been put up. I was 52 at the time, my wife was 32 and I’m certainly no looker! This couple were new, joined up a week previous and the pics looked stunning with both being in their early 20s. Probably more fakes I thought, but messaged anyway with our face and body pics. Straight away an answer came back saying they’d love to meet, with face pics enclosed and their address. It was only twenty minutes away so I said we would be there in half an hour. Told the Mrs and showed her the pics, she thought the same as me, definitely fake, but we set off anyway.
Well when we got there they were exactly as they said they would be and looked just as their pics showed. Fuck me I felt old, and my wife went straight to the loo when we went in and messaged me to say she felt uncomfortable. I said we may have to make it just a social as we may have an issue with the sitter as I read the msg. They said friends of theirs were coming in five minutes and hoped we could stay. We sat chatting and my wife seemed ok then the doorbell goes and their friends, another stunning couple in their mid twenties come in. And I mean stunning, so there’s us sat there thinking wtf?
Well to cut a long story short my Mrs simply did her thing, and before I knew it all of us were having a wild time and any thoughts of us not being good enough were long gone. I took some pics and a couple of them sat as the most fabbed on here for a few days. We subsequently met them again lots of times so the moral here is never think you’re not good enough. People are people, and you could be very surprised with who floats who’s boat. What’s to lose ?
Great answer. Can't claim to have this exact sort of meeting, but I'm frequently surprised at the number of friends I've made on here with younger people. But then, lets face it, most people on the circuit are younger than this old codger."
As they say your as old as the person your feeling. So if you've got some younger friends then hey  x |
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So do the people who avoid messaging certain profiles only contact people they think aren't very attractive? I've quickly checked, nobody has messaged us but if they had I'd be feeling a bit second best right about now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So do the people who avoid messaging certain profiles only contact people they think aren't very attractive? I've quickly checked, nobody has messaged us but if they had I'd be feeling a bit second best right about now."
I got a shot with the uglies
(Joking of course. I only message the sexy folk) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No
Ive always messaged who i like without a thought the worst they can do is say there not interested"
Exactly
Worst they can do is say no or block you. Best case, you meet and fuck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So do the people who avoid messaging certain profiles only contact people they think aren't very attractive? I've quickly checked, nobody has messaged us but if they had I'd be feeling a bit second best right about now."
No but just means we are surprised if we get a reply..lol |
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"You never know if you don't 
Agreed but if you don't have much faith in yourself...it's hard to believe anyone else would "
You need to learn to be confident in yourself and that will show to others  |
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By *bzcoupleCouple
over a year ago
Aberdeenshire |
"Refrain from messaging a profile when you match perfectly but are too worried that you wont be attractive enough or there type. Or just me? Lol (expects lots of just you)"
I should think this is pretty normal!
I (mr) have tinnitus (high pitched noise in ears) and Mrs has tried to get me to try some alternative treatments. I haven’t yet, because I know if they don’t work, that’s it, it’s game over. I’m stuck with it for life. However, by not going, I have hope that it could help in the future.
It’s quite similar, by not messaging, you have the hope that you’d hit it off and live happily ever after. But if you do message and are rejected, it’s over!
Humans are stupid really huh?
PS you’ve way more hope of getting a reply than I do of fixing tinnitus so just go for it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont message.
i came across missD and she went into my hotlist... i really wanted to message but thought 'nah ill fuck it up' i thought she was a 10/10 and would have no chance... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Refrain from messaging a profile when you match perfectly but are too worried that you wont be attractive enough or there type. Or just me? Lol (expects lots of just you)"
I mostly refrain, full stop. Just seems futile to try |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont message.
i came across missD and she went into my hotlist... i really wanted to message but thought 'nah ill fuck it up' i thought she was a 10/10 and would have no chance... "
and she blocked you, nooooooo  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just refrain from messaging people generally."
awwww hey its the best way, no negativity, no disappointment and no having to doll yourself up for a meet |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
There’s a local man who has messaged me a few times who i’ve refused to meet based on his gorgeousness.
I just know i’d never be able to look at him so there’s no point. I’ve told him and he thinks i’m joking. I’m not.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont message.
i came across missD and she went into my hotlist... i really wanted to message but thought 'nah ill fuck it up' i thought she was a 10/10 and would have no chance... and she blocked you, nooooooo "
Thankfully not... not sure what ive done but were having a amazing journey now  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont message.
i came across missD and she went into my hotlist... i really wanted to message but thought 'nah ill fuck it up' i thought she was a 10/10 and would have no chance... and she blocked you, nooooooo
Thankfully not... not sure what ive done but were having a amazing journey now "
see theirs something for everyone here, at least 3 weddings next year |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So do the people who avoid messaging certain profiles only contact people they think aren't very attractive? I've quickly checked, nobody has messaged us but if they had I'd be feeling a bit second best right about now."
No I don’t message people I feel are unattractive at all, I sometimes message if I just can’t resist, but I don’t initiate messages very much. -Mrs |
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"Refrain from messaging a profile when you match perfectly but are too worried that you wont be attractive enough or there type. Or just me? Lol (expects lots of just you)"
Never. If you dont ask you dont get. If they say no thanks then fair enough but at least you tried.x |
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I rarely send first messages, but until fairly recently I was much more cautious/ sceptical when someone I considered a 10/10 messaged me. Like, honey, dream on, they won't want you, what's the catch? |
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"So do the people who avoid messaging certain profiles only contact people they think aren't very attractive? I've quickly checked, nobody has messaged us but if they had I'd be feeling a bit second best right about now.
No I don’t message people I feel are unattractive at all, I sometimes message if I just can’t resist, but I don’t initiate messages very much. -Mrs "
The general gist seems to me to be that a lot of people feel they aren't good enough for those they feel are very attractive. I find this quite insulting towards the people they feel they are good enough for. It's the same with this bloody leagues and punching above your weight everyone seems so concerned with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I generally send messages to anyone I like if I think they’ll respond positively. I don’t set myself up for disappointment. However I find it more challenging to stay on someone’s radar after the early conversations. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I did a few years ago. I thought it sensible and didn't want to face rejection or possible laughter. But then I thought fuck it and realised I have a lot to offer and I'm sexy in my own way. I remember one man from the fora who I was convinced would never say yes and would tell myself well he's met absolute stunners, you have no chance. But we've met. We continue to do so.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Refrain from messaging a profile when you match perfectly but are too worried that you wont be attractive enough or there type. Or just me? Lol (expects lots of just you)"
Always. Clearly plenty of us have self confidence issues  |
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"So do the people who avoid messaging certain profiles only contact people they think aren't very attractive? I've quickly checked, nobody has messaged us but if they had I'd be feeling a bit second best right about now.
No I don’t message people I feel are unattractive at all, I sometimes message if I just can’t resist, but I don’t initiate messages very much. -Mrs
The general gist seems to me to be that a lot of people feel they aren't good enough for those they feel are very attractive. I find this quite insulting towards the people they feel they are good enough for. It's the same with this bloody leagues and punching above your weight everyone seems so concerned with."
I don't know if it's insulting? One, confidence is mostly about you, so it's not a reflection on anyone else. Two, I can think highly of the local restaurant while knowing it's not Michelin star quality. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Refrain from messaging a profile when you match perfectly but are too worried that you wont be attractive enough or there type. Or just me? Lol (expects lots of just you)"
Absolutely, my age is totally against me now!  |
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I find myself often writing a message out to someone who I like the look of and has a good write up on their profile and then not bothering to send the message.
There's a veriety of thoughts as to why I don't send it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So do the people who avoid messaging certain profiles only contact people they think aren't very attractive? I've quickly checked, nobody has messaged us but if they had I'd be feeling a bit second best right about now.
No I don’t message people I feel are unattractive at all, I sometimes message if I just can’t resist, but I don’t initiate messages very much. -Mrs
The general gist seems to me to be that a lot of people feel they aren't good enough for those they feel are very attractive. I find this quite insulting towards the people they feel they are good enough for. It's the same with this bloody leagues and punching above your weight everyone seems so concerned with.
I don't know if it's insulting? One, confidence is mostly about you, so it's not a reflection on anyone else. Two, I can think highly of the local restaurant while knowing it's not Michelin star quality. "
It only reflects on you if you let it. The thinking goes something like. Crikey if they think they’re out of their league and they rejected me, what league am I in?’
I just message people I like. If it’s not reciprocated ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained’.
I do puzzle over how I screw up promising starts though. |
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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago
Stoke-on-Trent |
Attractive people are just people. Attraction is nebulous, it's not only based on one thing, whether that's physical, personality, a way with words. It will be no consolation to someone that you find them 'too attractive', especially if you've been chatting & they find you attractive. |
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If we find someone attractive and we are looking for for the same things we will always drop them a message. If the attraction isn't a mutual one then that's absolutely fair enough, unfortunately we can't be everyones cup of tea but we don't tend to dwell on it and beat ourselves up about it as it is what is |
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"
It only reflects on you if you let it. The thinking goes something like. Crikey if they think they’re out of their league and they rejected me, what league am I in?’
I just message people I like. If it’s not reciprocated ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained’.
I do puzzle over how I screw up promising starts though."
Fair. I don't go telling anyone what league I think they're in, and attraction is individual. (and I mostly reject before I think about attraction to be fair!)
I suppose I see it as "no/ not now" (but that's about me and it isn't a reflection on you), yes, and "oh god I'd love to but I don't measure up". My scale is private, partly to save hurt feelings (or argument, lol) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It only reflects on you if you let it. The thinking goes something like. Crikey if they think they’re out of their league and they rejected me, what league am I in?’
I just message people I like. If it’s not reciprocated ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained’.
I do puzzle over how I screw up promising starts though.
Fair. I don't go telling anyone what league I think they're in, and attraction is individual. (and I mostly reject before I think about attraction to be fair!)
I suppose I see it as "no/ not now" (but that's about me and it isn't a reflection on you), yes, and "oh god I'd love to but I don't measure up". My scale is private, partly to save hurt feelings (or argument, lol) "
I don’t think I have a scale except how much I like someone. |
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"So do the people who avoid messaging certain profiles only contact people they think aren't very attractive? I've quickly checked, nobody has messaged us but if they had I'd be feeling a bit second best right about now.
No I don’t message people I feel are unattractive at all, I sometimes message if I just can’t resist, but I don’t initiate messages very much. -Mrs
The general gist seems to me to be that a lot of people feel they aren't good enough for those they feel are very attractive. I find this quite insulting towards the people they feel they are good enough for. It's the same with this bloody leagues and punching above your weight everyone seems so concerned with.
I don't know if it's insulting? One, confidence is mostly about you, so it's not a reflection on anyone else. Two, I can think highly of the local restaurant while knowing it's not Michelin star quality. "
It becomes about someone else if you try to include them in your low opinion of yourself. I will message you because I can see that you are equally as unattractive as I believe myself to be is not complimentary. Of course its possible to appreciate all levels of restaurant and eat at them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So do the people who avoid messaging certain profiles only contact people they think aren't very attractive? I've quickly checked, nobody has messaged us but if they had I'd be feeling a bit second best right about now.
No I don’t message people I feel are unattractive at all, I sometimes message if I just can’t resist, but I don’t initiate messages very much. -Mrs
The general gist seems to me to be that a lot of people feel they aren't good enough for those they feel are very attractive. I find this quite insulting towards the people they feel they are good enough for. It's the same with this bloody leagues and punching above your weight everyone seems so concerned with.
I don't know if it's insulting? One, confidence is mostly about you, so it's not a reflection on anyone else. Two, I can think highly of the local restaurant while knowing it's not Michelin star quality.
It becomes about someone else if you try to include them in your low opinion of yourself. I will message you because I can see that you are equally as unattractive as I believe myself to be is not complimentary. Of course its possible to appreciate all levels of restaurant and eat at them. "
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" It becomes about someone else if you try to include them in your low opinion of yourself. I will message you because I can see that you are equally as unattractive as I believe myself to be is not complimentary. Of course its possible to appreciate all levels of restaurant and eat at them. "
Maybe. But I can think I'm an 8/10 and be more wary about 9s and 10s (on my own private scale which I don't share)... 6-8 is still good/great, just not exceptional. I don't think, say "I think you're hot, you excite me, and I want to share pleasure with you (even if you're not quite Brad Pitt)" is insulting, you know? (I'd never say it like that, and other celebrities are available) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Refrain from messaging a profile when you match perfectly but are too worried that you wont be attractive enough or there type. Or just me? Lol (expects lots of just you)"
Have my own insecurities,so only message if get some interest first,so generally don’t send any messages |
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" It becomes about someone else if you try to include them in your low opinion of yourself. I will message you because I can see that you are equally as unattractive as I believe myself to be is not complimentary. Of course its possible to appreciate all levels of restaurant and eat at them.
Maybe. But I can think I'm an 8/10 and be more wary about 9s and 10s (on my own private scale which I don't share)... 6-8 is still good/great, just not exceptional. I don't think, say "I think you're hot, you excite me, and I want to share pleasure with you (even if you're not quite Brad Pitt)" is insulting, you know? (I'd never say it like that, and other celebrities are available) "
I think there's a difference between being realistic about who you're likely to be compatible with and believing yourself not to be good enough for someone because of how you perceive them.
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" It becomes about someone else if you try to include them in your low opinion of yourself. I will message you because I can see that you are equally as unattractive as I believe myself to be is not complimentary. Of course its possible to appreciate all levels of restaurant and eat at them.
Maybe. But I can think I'm an 8/10 and be more wary about 9s and 10s (on my own private scale which I don't share)... 6-8 is still good/great, just not exceptional. I don't think, say "I think you're hot, you excite me, and I want to share pleasure with you (even if you're not quite Brad Pitt)" is insulting, you know? (I'd never say it like that, and other celebrities are available)
I think there's a difference between being realistic about who you're likely to be compatible with and believing yourself not to be good enough for someone because of how you perceive them.
"
Perhaps. I think the lines are blurred, at least in my head. |
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" It becomes about someone else if you try to include them in your low opinion of yourself. I will message you because I can see that you are equally as unattractive as I believe myself to be is not complimentary. Of course its possible to appreciate all levels of restaurant and eat at them.
Maybe. But I can think I'm an 8/10 and be more wary about 9s and 10s (on my own private scale which I don't share)... 6-8 is still good/great, just not exceptional. I don't think, say "I think you're hot, you excite me, and I want to share pleasure with you (even if you're not quite Brad Pitt)" is insulting, you know? (I'd never say it like that, and other celebrities are available)
I think there's a difference between being realistic about who you're likely to be compatible with and believing yourself not to be good enough for someone because of how you perceive them.
Perhaps. I think the lines are blurred, at least in my head. "
I think the lines probably are blurred. Anyway I'm off to message an achingly good looking 35 year old guy who only wants 25 year old, gym fit women |
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" It becomes about someone else if you try to include them in your low opinion of yourself. I will message you because I can see that you are equally as unattractive as I believe myself to be is not complimentary. Of course its possible to appreciate all levels of restaurant and eat at them.
Maybe. But I can think I'm an 8/10 and be more wary about 9s and 10s (on my own private scale which I don't share)... 6-8 is still good/great, just not exceptional. I don't think, say "I think you're hot, you excite me, and I want to share pleasure with you (even if you're not quite Brad Pitt)" is insulting, you know? (I'd never say it like that, and other celebrities are available)
I think there's a difference between being realistic about who you're likely to be compatible with and believing yourself not to be good enough for someone because of how you perceive them.
Perhaps. I think the lines are blurred, at least in my head.
I think the lines probably are blurred. Anyway I'm off to message an achingly good looking 35 year old guy who only wants 25 year old, gym fit women "
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"There's a couple on here that check out our profile about 4-5 times a day, they have winked us we we've winked bk sent message then they deleted our message confusing or what  "
Block 'em confusion finished.
It's probably one looking and the other vetoing a meet. |
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