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Party Trick.....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have three.
I can do the splits (always shocks them when a fat girl can manage it  )
I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue.
And I can do voices, impressions, accents...
I'm a hoot! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can balance a pint on my boobs. One day soon it'll be my arse as well."
Have you seen the porn of a fat guy fucking a woman and she's got a tin of sweet corn balancing on her arse as her fucks her from behind? He keeps picking up the tin and taking swigs of sweet corn... |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I can balance a pint on my boobs. One day soon it'll be my arse as well.
Have you seen the porn of a fat guy fucking a woman and she's got a tin of sweet corn balancing on her arse as her fucks her from behind? He keeps picking up the tin and taking swigs of sweet corn... "
No. My porn viewing is clearly really dull to yours. |
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"I have three.
I can do the splits (always shocks them when a fat girl can manage it )
I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue.
And I can do voices, impressions, accents...
I'm a hoot! "
Impressive!  |
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"I can balance a pint on my boobs. One day soon it'll be my arse as well."
Is this on the boobs or tucked in between?
I can probably balance a mug of tea...will have to work my way up to the pint
#boobie goals |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Giving people piggy bags. Big people, men people.
I'm like a motherfucking shetland pony (they're the strong ones right?)
P
lol "
I've only just noticed I typed bags instead of backs.
I do not go around giving people snout wallets. I carry people on my back and set them down oh so gently at their desired destination.
P |
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"I give good eyebrow wiggle, can curl my tongue into a w shape. By far my best talent is hitting notes that don't exist when singing. I can clear a room with my dulcet tones. "
I can do the tongue thing as well!
I can apply my own sunscreen everywhere, I’m hyper flexible! X  |
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"I have three.
I can do the splits (always shocks them when a fat girl can manage it )
I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue.
And I can do voices, impressions, accents...
I'm a hoot! "
Eileen ..next time I throw apart I'm sending an invite your way |
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"Giving people piggy bags. Big people, men people.
I'm like a motherfucking shetland pony (they're the strong ones right?)
P
lol
I've only just noticed I typed bags instead of backs.
I do not go around giving people snout wallets. I carry people on my back and set them down oh so gently at their desired destination.
P"
Good Lordingtons!
I saw a woman actually do this recently. Her big lanky mate was complaining her shoes hurt, boohoohoo, and she couldn't make it back to the hotel ...so the little woman flung her on her back and away they galloped into the night!
It proper tickled me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Giving people piggy bags. Big people, men people.
I'm like a motherfucking shetland pony (they're the strong ones right?)
P
lol
I've only just noticed I typed bags instead of backs.
I do not go around giving people snout wallets. I carry people on my back and set them down oh so gently at their desired destination.
P
Good Lordingtons!
I saw a woman actually do this recently. Her big lanky mate was complaining her shoes hurt, boohoohoo, and she couldn't make it back to the hotel ...so the little woman flung her on her back and away they galloped into the night!
It proper tickled me "
Us little ones are strong with a low centre of gravity. Least you won't fall far if we do topple over
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can also spin on one hand. Used to be able to spin on my head also though havent tried that one in a while.
I can also lift really heavey things. That one comes in useful after people pass out d*unk.
Im basically your very own cool security guard for your house parties.  |
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By *Man1263Man
over a year ago
Stockport |
"I have three.
I can do the splits (always shocks them when a fat girl can manage it )
I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue.
And I can do voices, impressions, accents...
I'm a hoot! "
You forgot Owl impression as well.
|
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"I can also spin on one hand. Used to be able to spin on my head also though havent tried that one in a while.
I can also lift really heavey things. That one comes in useful after people pass out d*unk.
Im basically your very own cool security guard for your house parties. "
A break dancing security guard, now that's something I'd love to see |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's your party trick?
I can touch my nose with my tongue...
Over to you..."
Hi My party trick I can cum in a glass and drink it bet you never seen that before do you think it would turn you on???? Also do cum tributes Kik bencummy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can cum twice. First time as normal and then if I push my groin, 2nd money shot. Upto 5 mins after too
And how did you discover you could do this? "
I had an internal skin graft to replace part of my urethra after a bike crash |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can turn my eye lids inside out"
Ewwww the doctor did that to me once while trying to get a bit of metal off my eyeball!! He used a cotton bid or something similar and rolled my eyelid up like a Tom and Jerry roller blind.
It felt very weird. |
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"I can turn my eye lids inside out
Ewwww the doctor did that to me once while trying to get a bit of metal off my eyeball!! He used a cotton bid or something similar and rolled my eyelid up like a Tom and Jerry roller blind.
It felt very weird."
It’s a very strange feeling, wish I never discovered it but I amuse myself with people’s reactions |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can turn my eye lids inside out
Ewwww the doctor did that to me once while trying to get a bit of metal off my eyeball!! He used a cotton bid or something similar and rolled my eyelid up like a Tom and Jerry roller blind.
It felt very weird.
It’s a very strange feeling, wish I never discovered it but I amuse myself with people’s reactions "
I hope youre amused at mine!! And I haven't even seen you do it yet. |
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"I can turn my eye lids inside out
Ewwww the doctor did that to me once while trying to get a bit of metal off my eyeball!! He used a cotton bid or something similar and rolled my eyelid up like a Tom and Jerry roller blind.
It felt very weird.
It’s a very strange feeling, wish I never discovered it but I amuse myself with people’s reactions
I hope youre amused at mine!! And I haven't even seen you do it yet."
I can’t get a photo, they keep pinging back haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can turn my eye lids inside out
Ewwww the doctor did that to me once while trying to get a bit of metal off my eyeball!! He used a cotton bid or something similar and rolled my eyelid up like a Tom and Jerry roller blind.
It felt very weird.
It’s a very strange feeling, wish I never discovered it but I amuse myself with people’s reactions
I hope youre amused at mine!! And I haven't even seen you do it yet.
I can’t get a photo, they keep pinging back haha"
You maybe need some glue?
Or video then maybe try and edit the video to get a still shot?
I'm actually grinning and cringeing imagining you trying  |
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"I can turn my eye lids inside out
Ewwww the doctor did that to me once while trying to get a bit of metal off my eyeball!! He used a cotton bid or something similar and rolled my eyelid up like a Tom and Jerry roller blind.
It felt very weird.
It’s a very strange feeling, wish I never discovered it but I amuse myself with people’s reactions
I hope youre amused at mine!! And I haven't even seen you do it yet.
I can’t get a photo, they keep pinging back haha
You maybe need some glue?
Or video then maybe try and edit the video to get a still shot?
I'm actually grinning and cringeing imagining you trying "
I’ve stopped trying, I look like I’ve sat through a video with adorable puppies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can turn my eye lids inside out
Ewwww the doctor did that to me once while trying to get a bit of metal off my eyeball!! He used a cotton bid or something similar and rolled my eyelid up like a Tom and Jerry roller blind.
It felt very weird.
It’s a very strange feeling, wish I never discovered it but I amuse myself with people’s reactions
I hope youre amused at mine!! And I haven't even seen you do it yet.
I can’t get a photo, they keep pinging back haha
You maybe need some glue?
Or video then maybe try and edit the video to get a still shot?
I'm actually grinning and cringeing imagining you trying
I’ve stopped trying, I look like I’ve sat through a video with adorable puppies"
What? Like cute boobs?  |
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"I can turn my eye lids inside out
Ewwww the doctor did that to me once while trying to get a bit of metal off my eyeball!! He used a cotton bid or something similar and rolled my eyelid up like a Tom and Jerry roller blind.
It felt very weird.
It’s a very strange feeling, wish I never discovered it but I amuse myself with people’s reactions
I hope youre amused at mine!! And I haven't even seen you do it yet.
I can’t get a photo, they keep pinging back haha
You maybe need some glue?
Or video then maybe try and edit the video to get a still shot?
I'm actually grinning and cringeing imagining you trying
I’ve stopped trying, I look like I’ve sat through a video with adorable puppies
What? Like cute boobs? "
Pretty much |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can turn my eye lids inside out
Ewwww the doctor did that to me once while trying to get a bit of metal off my eyeball!! He used a cotton bid or something similar and rolled my eyelid up like a Tom and Jerry roller blind.
It felt very weird.
It’s a very strange feeling, wish I never discovered it but I amuse myself with people’s reactions
I hope youre amused at mine!! And I haven't even seen you do it yet.
I can’t get a photo, they keep pinging back haha
You maybe need some glue?
Or video then maybe try and edit the video to get a still shot?
I'm actually grinning and cringeing imagining you trying
I’ve stopped trying, I look like I’ve sat through a video with adorable puppies
What? Like cute boobs?
Pretty much "
I am sooooo gonna struggle to sleep tonight |
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"I can turn my eye lids inside out
Ewwww the doctor did that to me once while trying to get a bit of metal off my eyeball!! He used a cotton bid or something similar and rolled my eyelid up like a Tom and Jerry roller blind.
It felt very weird.
It’s a very strange feeling, wish I never discovered it but I amuse myself with people’s reactions
I hope youre amused at mine!! And I haven't even seen you do it yet.
I can’t get a photo, they keep pinging back haha
You maybe need some glue?
Or video then maybe try and edit the video to get a still shot?
I'm actually grinning and cringeing imagining you trying
I’ve stopped trying, I look like I’ve sat through a video with adorable puppies
What? Like cute boobs?
Pretty much
I am sooooo gonna struggle to sleep tonight "
You’d struggle more if I managed to get a photo, scary stuff! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can turn my eye lids inside out
Ewwww the doctor did that to me once while trying to get a bit of metal off my eyeball!! He used a cotton bid or something similar and rolled my eyelid up like a Tom and Jerry roller blind.
It felt very weird.
It’s a very strange feeling, wish I never discovered it but I amuse myself with people’s reactions
I hope youre amused at mine!! And I haven't even seen you do it yet.
I can’t get a photo, they keep pinging back haha
You maybe need some glue?
Or video then maybe try and edit the video to get a still shot?
I'm actually grinning and cringeing imagining you trying
I’ve stopped trying, I look like I’ve sat through a video with adorable puppies
What? Like cute boobs?
Pretty much
I am sooooo gonna struggle to sleep tonight
You’d struggle more if I managed to get a photo, scary stuff!"
Are you still trying? I'm still imagining. The farrier might be able to help. |
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"I can turn my eye lids inside out
Ewwww the doctor did that to me once while trying to get a bit of metal off my eyeball!! He used a cotton bid or something similar and rolled my eyelid up like a Tom and Jerry roller blind.
It felt very weird.
It’s a very strange feeling, wish I never discovered it but I amuse myself with people’s reactions
I hope youre amused at mine!! And I haven't even seen you do it yet.
I can’t get a photo, they keep pinging back haha
You maybe need some glue?
Or video then maybe try and edit the video to get a still shot?
I'm actually grinning and cringeing imagining you trying
I’ve stopped trying, I look like I’ve sat through a video with adorable puppies
What? Like cute boobs?
Pretty much
I am sooooo gonna struggle to sleep tonight
You’d struggle more if I managed to get a photo, scary stuff!
Are you still trying? I'm still imagining. The farrier might be able to help."
Give him a call please, I just can’t do it myself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can turn my eye lids inside out
Ewwww the doctor did that to me once while trying to get a bit of metal off my eyeball!! He used a cotton bid or something similar and rolled my eyelid up like a Tom and Jerry roller blind.
It felt very weird.
It’s a very strange feeling, wish I never discovered it but I amuse myself with people’s reactions
I hope youre amused at mine!! And I haven't even seen you do it yet.
I can’t get a photo, they keep pinging back haha
You maybe need some glue?
Or video then maybe try and edit the video to get a still shot?
I'm actually grinning and cringeing imagining you trying
I’ve stopped trying, I look like I’ve sat through a video with adorable puppies
What? Like cute boobs?
Pretty much
I am sooooo gonna struggle to sleep tonight
You’d struggle more if I managed to get a photo, scary stuff!
Are you still trying? I'm still imagining. The farrier might be able to help.
Give him a call please, I just can’t do it myself "
I think he'll be in bed!!
I have an idea though..there's a forge down the road from me that does blacksmith courses, I'll go along there in the morning and see if I can get trained up. Would that be helpful? |
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"I can turn my eye lids inside out
Ewwww the doctor did that to me once while trying to get a bit of metal off my eyeball!! He used a cotton bid or something similar and rolled my eyelid up like a Tom and Jerry roller blind.
It felt very weird.
It’s a very strange feeling, wish I never discovered it but I amuse myself with people’s reactions
I hope youre amused at mine!! And I haven't even seen you do it yet.
I can’t get a photo, they keep pinging back haha
You maybe need some glue?
Or video then maybe try and edit the video to get a still shot?
I'm actually grinning and cringeing imagining you trying
I’ve stopped trying, I look like I’ve sat through a video with adorable puppies
What? Like cute boobs?
Pretty much
I am sooooo gonna struggle to sleep tonight
You’d struggle more if I managed to get a photo, scary stuff!
Are you still trying? I'm still imagining. The farrier might be able to help.
Give him a call please, I just can’t do it myself
I think he'll be in bed!!
I have an idea though..there's a forge down the road from me that does blacksmith courses, I'll go along there in the morning and see if I can get trained up. Would that be helpful?"
Very helpful, you’re a gem |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can turn my eye lids inside out
Ewwww the doctor did that to me once while trying to get a bit of metal off my eyeball!! He used a cotton bid or something similar and rolled my eyelid up like a Tom and Jerry roller blind.
It felt very weird.
It’s a very strange feeling, wish I never discovered it but I amuse myself with people’s reactions
I hope youre amused at mine!! And I haven't even seen you do it yet.
I can’t get a photo, they keep pinging back haha
You maybe need some glue?
Or video then maybe try and edit the video to get a still shot?
I'm actually grinning and cringeing imagining you trying
I’ve stopped trying, I look like I’ve sat through a video with adorable puppies
What? Like cute boobs?
Pretty much
I am sooooo gonna struggle to sleep tonight
You’d struggle more if I managed to get a photo, scary stuff!
Are you still trying? I'm still imagining. The farrier might be able to help.
Give him a call please, I just can’t do it myself
I think he'll be in bed!!
I have an idea though..there's a forge down the road from me that does blacksmith courses, I'll go along there in the morning and see if I can get trained up. Would that be helpful?
Very helpful, you’re a gem"
I need to get off to bed now, but I'll give you a shout tomorrow and let you know how I got on.
Is that ok? |
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"I can turn my eye lids inside out
Ewwww the doctor did that to me once while trying to get a bit of metal off my eyeball!! He used a cotton bid or something similar and rolled my eyelid up like a Tom and Jerry roller blind.
It felt very weird.
It’s a very strange feeling, wish I never discovered it but I amuse myself with people’s reactions
I hope youre amused at mine!! And I haven't even seen you do it yet.
I can’t get a photo, they keep pinging back haha
You maybe need some glue?
Or video then maybe try and edit the video to get a still shot?
I'm actually grinning and cringeing imagining you trying
I’ve stopped trying, I look like I’ve sat through a video with adorable puppies
What? Like cute boobs?
Pretty much
I am sooooo gonna struggle to sleep tonight
You’d struggle more if I managed to get a photo, scary stuff!
Are you still trying? I'm still imagining. The farrier might be able to help.
Give him a call please, I just can’t do it myself
I think he'll be in bed!!
I have an idea though..there's a forge down the road from me that does blacksmith courses, I'll go along there in the morning and see if I can get trained up. Would that be helpful?
Very helpful, you’re a gem
I need to get off to bed now, but I'll give you a shout tomorrow and let you know how I got on.
Is that ok?"
Perfect, I shall await your message. Sweet dreams |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can turn my eye lids inside out
Ewwww the doctor did that to me once while trying to get a bit of metal off my eyeball!! He used a cotton bid or something similar and rolled my eyelid up like a Tom and Jerry roller blind.
It felt very weird.
It’s a very strange feeling, wish I never discovered it but I amuse myself with people’s reactions
I hope youre amused at mine!! And I haven't even seen you do it yet.
I can’t get a photo, they keep pinging back haha
You maybe need some glue?
Or video then maybe try and edit the video to get a still shot?
I'm actually grinning and cringeing imagining you trying
I’ve stopped trying, I look like I’ve sat through a video with adorable puppies
What? Like cute boobs?
Pretty much
I am sooooo gonna struggle to sleep tonight
You’d struggle more if I managed to get a photo, scary stuff!
Are you still trying? I'm still imagining. The farrier might be able to help.
Give him a call please, I just can’t do it myself
I think he'll be in bed!!
I have an idea though..there's a forge down the road from me that does blacksmith courses, I'll go along there in the morning and see if I can get trained up. Would that be helpful?
Very helpful, you’re a gem
I need to get off to bed now, but I'll give you a shout tomorrow and let you know how I got on.
Is that ok?
Perfect, I shall await your message. Sweet dreams "
Well I'll probably not actually get any sleep for thinking about you trying to invest your eyelids!!
I will definitely message you though. Nite |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can also spin on one hand. Used to be able to spin on my head also though havent tried that one in a while.
I can also lift really heavey things. That one comes in useful after people pass out d*unk.
Im basically your very own cool security guard for your house parties.
A break dancing security guard, now that's something I'd love to see "
Welp you missed going out in Brixton in the late 00's then. We used to do it all the time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I used to be able to dislocate both my shoulders and hold the opposite ear lobes (left hand right ear right hand left ear) with my arms behind my back but now I’m older I can only dislocate my shoulders |
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"I used to be able to dislocate both my shoulders and hold the opposite ear lobes (left hand right ear right hand left ear) with my arms behind my back but now I’m older I can only dislocate my shoulders "
Owwww! |
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