FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Can a parent be a parent nowadays?.
Can a parent be a parent nowadays?.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We had an interesting discussion about it yesterday, the difference of how it was back in the days, where the parent had more authority, compared to nowadays where they cant hardly lay a finger on them so to speak, if they have done something wrong, is the state raising them now, what is your view? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not hard to raise a child and not be an abusive twat... have they done something wrong? You can shout and be a knob or you can sit down and talk to them like they're humans, they actually respond to that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You don't have to hit a child to chastise them
There are other ways,yes,a whacking now n again did me no harm when I were a kid,but I still see it as wrong.
Grounding
Loss of privileges
Extra chores etc
Violence just teaches kids to be violent |
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If anyone has to repeatedly lay a finger on a child something's gone drastically wrong.
Unfortunately the level of parenting skills is dropping year on year (in general and not everyone) and sticking little Porscha in front of an iPad for hours because it keeps her quiet while they watch love island isn't the way to go.
Put down your own tech and the little ones and re connect with conversation, board games, reading etc
Once we get a generation of kids brought up properly again they'll teach there children and eventually old school values will return.
It's a big ask though ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If anyone has to repeatedly lay a finger on a child something's gone drastically wrong.
Unfortunately the level of parenting skills is dropping year on year (in general and not everyone) and sticking little Porscha in front of an iPad for hours because it keeps her quiet while they watch love island isn't the way to go.
Put down your own tech and the little ones and re connect with conversation, board games, reading etc
Once we get a generation of kids brought up properly again they'll teach there children and eventually old school values will return.
It's a big ask though !"
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For me quality time is really important just talking to them on a level. Investing time and energy is important. Letting them know who is the parent, whose in charge. And that their are boundaries and consequences if they are crossed. I am not one for smacking but have done. It didn't do them any harm. From experience it's not always easy and there a things I would have done differently. Now I have grandchildren and am proud to say that my kids are great parents. |
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I think the idea of parenting evolves, the importance of childhood and getting through it mostly unscathed has been recognised, and society struggles to keep up.
I for one am all for people not repeating abusive cycles generation after generation.
My childhood was strict/ abusive, and it did me absolutely no favours. |
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"How far do people think the state should be involved in how you raise your child? Leaving aside things that are abusive what should state approved parenting look like and is it acceptable?"
I suppose it depends on how you define abuse, which is probably part of the issue here.
You can't even hit a child! Some say. Err, good? Others say.
I think the state should provide a minimum and a safety net against parents who don't or can't do what their child needs to be able to become a minimally functional adult. Where that minimum is, I don't know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You don’t need to ‘lay a finger’ on your child to discipline them.
So yes, you can still raise your child. People who say otherwise are being ridiculous. |
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"How far do people think the state should be involved in how you raise your child? Leaving aside things that are abusive what should state approved parenting look like and is it acceptable?
I suppose it depends on how you define abuse, which is probably part of the issue here.
You can't even hit a child! Some say. Err, good? Others say.
I think the state should provide a minimum and a safety net against parents who don't or can't do what their child needs to be able to become a minimally functional adult. Where that minimum is, I don't know. "
I'm thinking of the people who say that children (usually not including theirs because they're absolutely great parents) should be taught certain values and core life skills in school, often values and life skills that they approve of. |
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Values are hard, because they're subjective. But I guess values are taught anyway, by the way schools expect people to behave or discuss certain topics, so maybe better to put it to a committee than an individual teacher who believes God knows what (inserting it how they see fit)? (still problems, but there are always going to be)
Life skills I do think are important, and again, it very much depends. I remember learning about interest and calculating taxes as scenarios in maths, for example.
These are things that good, proactive parents can work around, I'm sure. "Mrs Smith has taught you this, and it's important to know that some people think this way and you need to give those answers for the test. Mummy believes X, which is a bit different. It's up to you to decide what you believe for yourself" sort of thing. |
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"Values are hard, because they're subjective. But I guess values are taught anyway, by the way schools expect people to behave or discuss certain topics, so maybe better to put it to a committee than an individual teacher who believes God knows what (inserting it how they see fit)? (still problems, but there are always going to be)
Life skills I do think are important, and again, it very much depends. I remember learning about interest and calculating taxes as scenarios in maths, for example.
These are things that good, proactive parents can work around, I'm sure. "Mrs Smith has taught you this, and it's important to know that some people think this way and you need to give those answers for the test. Mummy believes X, which is a bit different. It's up to you to decide what you believe for yourself" sort of thing. "
The problem is that nearly everyone believes themselves to be a good proactive parent. |
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"True. But those who are can give their children the tools to figure this stuff out, and those who aren't... at least their kid has something. "
Is it the state that should make the decision about who can do this and who can't? |
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My values and skills are a mix of family, school, church, and stuff I figured out on my own.
But some of the shittiest bits of my childhood... school was a counterpoint. I'm not always a worthless piece of shit, sort of thing. Self esteem and why it's important to have it! |
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"True. But those who are can give their children the tools to figure this stuff out, and those who aren't... at least their kid has something.
Is it the state that should make the decision about who can do this and who can't?"
No (at least not before calling social services in). Which is why you teach everyone. Everyone gets taught basic interest as part of their maths lesson. The kids who need to be taught about banks learn something about banks. The kids who don't, have a maths lesson. |
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"My values and skills are a mix of family, school, church, and stuff I figured out on my own.
But some of the shittiest bits of my childhood... school was a counterpoint. I'm not always a worthless piece of shit, sort of thing. Self esteem and why it's important to have it! "
I think that's probably true for most of us. |
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"Just my opinion but the problems started when it became OK to be a single parent. "
What happened to those children before that, and was that not a problem? Why is one good parent better than two shitty ones? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just my opinion but the problems started when it became OK to be a single parent. "
Weird. My mum had to become a single parent as my ‘bio dad’ was abusing us in every way possible. Me and my brother turned out wonderfully (she met my step dad later on and had my two sisters).
I’d rather be a single parent than be stuck with someone I didn’t love, who’s abusive, who’s toxic etc. |
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"My values and skills are a mix of family, school, church, and stuff I figured out on my own.
But some of the shittiest bits of my childhood... school was a counterpoint. I'm not always a worthless piece of shit, sort of thing. Self esteem and why it's important to have it!
I think that's probably true for most of us. "
Indeed. But I think those lessons being streamlined is probably a good idea. Rather than Child A getting values from Mrs Smith who believes showing knee caps makes you a filthy whore, and Child B getting values from Mrs Jones who thinks that everyone needs Jesus. |
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"Just my opinion but the problems started when it became OK to be a single parent. "
So in WW2 then when "for the good of the country" most men with young children were conscripted and their mothers encouraged to work in factories etc? |
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"Just my opinion but the problems started when it became OK to be a single parent.
So in WW2 then when "for the good of the country" most men with young children were conscripted and their mothers encouraged to work in factories etc?"
I'm pretty sure that forced adoption, the shame or taint of being born out of wedlock (that was wielded against children in some instances), etc didn't help children. |
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"We had an interesting discussion about it yesterday, the difference of how it was back in the days, where the parent had more authority, compared to nowadays where they cant hardly lay a finger on them so to speak, if they have done something wrong, is the state raising them now, what is your view?"
I was disciplined and resented it at the time. Grew up in a poor neighbourhood were crime and procreation was the only ambition. My parents did the right thing as I'm very very successful in my career and that's partly down to my parents being disciplinarian. I'm grateful to them.
Knowing the difference between corporal punishment and EXTREME corporal punishment is not appreciated by most with sense. Some parents are vile, evil creatures who abuse kids due to their own issues. |
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"Just my opinion but the problems started when it became OK to be a single parent.
So in WW2 then when "for the good of the country" most men with young children were conscripted and their mothers encouraged to work in factories etc?
I'm pretty sure that forced adoption, the shame or taint of being born out of wedlock (that was wielded against children in some instances), etc didn't help children. "
You only need to watch Long Lost Families to see that |
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"We had an interesting discussion about it yesterday, the difference of how it was back in the days, where the parent had more authority, compared to nowadays where they cant hardly lay a finger on them so to speak, if they have done something wrong, is the state raising them now, what is your view?
I was disciplined and resented it at the time. Grew up in a poor neighbourhood were crime and procreation was the only ambition. My parents did the right thing as I'm very very successful in my career and that's partly down to my parents being disciplinarian. I'm grateful to them.
Knowing the difference between corporal punishment and EXTREME corporal punishment is not appreciated by most with sense. Some parents are vile, evil creatures who abuse kids due to their own issues."
So if you mess up at work, your boss can hit you, right? |
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"Just my opinion but the problems started when it became OK to be a single parent.
So in WW2 then when "for the good of the country" most men with young children were conscripted and their mothers encouraged to work in factories etc?
I'm pretty sure that forced adoption, the shame or taint of being born out of wedlock (that was wielded against children in some instances), etc didn't help children.
You only need to watch Long Lost Families to see that"
Quite. But down with loving single parent families  |
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"We had an interesting discussion about it yesterday, the difference of how it was back in the days, where the parent had more authority, compared to nowadays where they cant hardly lay a finger on them so to speak, if they have done something wrong, is the state raising them now, what is your view?
I was disciplined and resented it at the time. Grew up in a poor neighbourhood were crime and procreation was the only ambition. My parents did the right thing as I'm very very successful in my career and that's partly down to my parents being disciplinarian. I'm grateful to them.
Knowing the difference between corporal punishment and EXTREME corporal punishment is not appreciated by most with sense. Some parents are vile, evil creatures who abuse kids due to their own issues.
So if you mess up at work, your boss can hit you, right? "
Only if he's, bigger, stronger and considerably older than you |
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"We had an interesting discussion about it yesterday, the difference of how it was back in the days, where the parent had more authority, compared to nowadays where they cant hardly lay a finger on them so to speak, if they have done something wrong, is the state raising them now, what is your view?
I was disciplined and resented it at the time. Grew up in a poor neighbourhood were crime and procreation was the only ambition. My parents did the right thing as I'm very very successful in my career and that's partly down to my parents being disciplinarian. I'm grateful to them.
Knowing the difference between corporal punishment and EXTREME corporal punishment is not appreciated by most with sense. Some parents are vile, evil creatures who abuse kids due to their own issues.
So if you mess up at work, your boss can hit you, right?
Only if he's, bigger, stronger and considerably older than you"
But it's for your own good. He's violent because he loves you. |
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"Just my opinion but the problems started when it became OK to be a single parent. "
Oh I'd be your worst nightmare then... single parent, gymslip mum and now a swinging single grandparent... the end is nigh!!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is a problem the state/authority/governments watever you want to call them have created by going to wars and conflicts through history. Leaving behind abusive environments.
Please don't make my comment about you or single parenting. I am sure they do a great job.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a problem the state/authority/governments watever you want to call them have created by going to wars and conflicts through history. Leaving behind abusive environments.
Please don't make my comment about you or single parenting. I am sure they do a great job.
"
That’s not what you originally said though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a problem the state/authority/governments watever you want to call them have created by going to wars and conflicts through history. Leaving behind abusive environments.
Please don't make my comment about you or single parenting. I am sure they do a great job.
That’s not what you originally said though"
It's what I was trying to say but text does not always express the emotion behind it.
It was never meant to offend anyone. Just my opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just my opinion but the problems started when it became OK to be a single parent.
Oh I'd be your worst nightmare then... single parent, gymslip mum and now a swinging single grandparent... the end is nigh!!!!!"
You go for it girl!!
Life is an adventure and you only get 1 shot.
Fuck rules and opinions  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just my opinion but the problems started when it became OK to be a single parent.
Oh I'd be your worst nightmare then... single parent, gymslip mum and now a swinging single grandparent... the end is nigh!!!!!
You go for it girl!!
Life is an adventure and you only get 1 shot.
Fuck rules and opinions "
Is there any rules saying she can’t do any of that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just my opinion but the problems started when it became OK to be a single parent.
Oh I'd be your worst nightmare then... single parent, gymslip mum and now a swinging single grandparent... the end is nigh!!!!!
You go for it girl!!
Life is an adventure and you only get 1 shot.
Fuck rules and opinions
Is there any rules saying she can’t do any of that?"
No |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just my opinion but the problems started when it became OK to be a single parent.
Oh I'd be your worst nightmare then... single parent, gymslip mum and now a swinging single grandparent... the end is nigh!!!!!
You go for it girl!!
Life is an adventure and you only get 1 shot.
Fuck rules and opinions
Is there any rules saying she can’t do any of that?
No"
Well maybe actually, depending on your religious grounding  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just my opinion but the problems started when it became OK to be a single parent.
So in WW2 then when "for the good of the country" most men with young children were conscripted and their mothers encouraged to work in factories etc?
I'm pretty sure that forced adoption, the shame or taint of being born out of wedlock (that was wielded against children in some instances), etc didn't help children.
You only need to watch Long Lost Families to see that"
I was brought up in Orphanages run by The Poor Sisters of Nazareth from being a baby, beatings were a regular thing daily in some cases probably because we were the children of whores. The cruelty we endured was terrifying.
Only family I have ever known were my dorm mates, my name has no meaning as it was just given to me, my birthday was just a rough estimate. I have no children but I really dont think a child needs to be hit or smacked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree smacking or being violent towards a child achieves nothing. In fact it's that same process as the state going into war when they think they are more powerful than then the other.
Children grow up. |
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"I think the only way to know is if you’ve raised your children well is when they’ve grown up and instill your values into their own children. "
Maybe. I think happy functional adults is a better aim. Not all values are worth passing on, and not all happy functional adults have children. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
I very rarely even need to raise my voice to my daughter, even now that she's a stroppy teenager with an attitude. Some people say I am 'lucky' because she's just well behaved naturally, what they don't understand is that I put the work in when she was very young to make sure she ended up well behaved.
Children do as you do, not as you say so if you can bring your child up in a calm and settled environment, the likelihood is that they will also be settled. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just my opinion but the problems started when it became OK to be a single parent. "
Excuse me, I am 55 and my mum was a single parent since I was 7. You weren't even born then mate. There was the cane, slipper, slapping including head slapping in my primary school. There were still yobs, vandals ect. The real bad kids simply played truant.
You think things are worse now than then, you are wrong.
Back then there were kids who were racist,bullies, nasty little toe rags too. And they did not all come from single parent families.
I am also a single parent of 6 years because my kids dad died, so kindly don't imply it is unacceptable to be a single parent.
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"We had an interesting discussion about it yesterday, the difference of how it was back in the days, where the parent had more authority, compared to nowadays where they cant hardly lay a finger on them so to speak, if they have done something wrong, is the state raising them now, what is your view?"
Yes they can still be parents. The state does not raise children , it's too busy trying to raise the piss poor parents. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You shouldn't even have to raise a finger to your child for them to listen to you and if you think being physical with them is OK then I think you're a terrible and lazy parent. It's crazy that once upon a time it was acceptable and the norm to physically disipline your children and it saddens me that people still agree there was nothing wrong with that.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The OP was about the state trying to have control of our kids.
I am sure many single parent families are a great success and have been.
Read my further posts when I have tried to clarify my first post as emotion and expression can be a bit hard to express by text speech. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Just my opinion but the problems started when it became OK to be a single parent. "
It doesn't matter how many parents a child has in their life, if they have the right upbringing the child will be fine.
I'm a single parent and I'm often complimented on my child's behaviour and pleasant manners, her not having her father involved has actually been beneficial to her.
You really need to loom out of your narrow little box and see that single parents are ALWAYS better than a toxic environment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My point is:-
Who created that Toxic environment in the first place ? And now they want to control our kids..
We are on a very small forum discussing this and I am pleased to hear that single parents are doing a good job if not brilliant ...
If you look at the bigger picture, single parenting will not look so great. It creates a bigger problem for society allowing the state to teach our kids what they choose. Single parents would be too busy in trying to provide and won't know what the kids are being taught. Which then confuses the children even more ... |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"My point is:-
Who created that Toxic environment in the first place ? And now they want to control our kids..
We are on a very small forum discussing this and I am pleased to hear that single parents are doing a good job if not brilliant ...
If you look at the bigger picture, single parenting will not look so great. It creates a bigger problem for society allowing the state to teach our kids what they choose. Single parents would be too busy in trying to provide and won't know what the kids are being taught. Which then confuses the children even more ... "
The parents often cause the toxic environment themselves by not being consistent, backing each other up and generally giving their kids a good example. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My point is:-
Who created that Toxic environment in the first place ? And now they want to control our kids..
We are on a very small forum discussing this and I am pleased to hear that single parents are doing a good job if not brilliant ...
If you look at the bigger picture, single parenting will not look so great. It creates a bigger problem for society allowing the state to teach our kids what they choose. Single parents would be too busy in trying to provide and won't know what the kids are being taught. Which then confuses the children even more ...
The parents often cause the toxic environment themselves by not being consistent, backing each other up and generally giving their kids a good example. "
I agree and this has allowed the state to take control.
Broken families etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Parents dont raise kids anymore the internet does, I've seen kids ages 2-4 that know how to fully use an ipad, learning alphabet from youtube vids etc its mad"
I love sweeping statements |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"My point is:-
Who created that Toxic environment in the first place ? And now they want to control our kids..
We are on a very small forum discussing this and I am pleased to hear that single parents are doing a good job if not brilliant ...
If you look at the bigger picture, single parenting will not look so great. It creates a bigger problem for society allowing the state to teach our kids what they choose. Single parents would be too busy in trying to provide and won't know what the kids are being taught. Which then confuses the children even more ...
The parents often cause the toxic environment themselves by not being consistent, backing each other up and generally giving their kids a good example.
I agree and this has allowed the state to take control.
Broken families etc "
I hate that term 'broken family', my family isn't broken, it's perfect as it is.
Blaming the government isn't the answer, you need to look at the parents that simply cannot be bothered. I have said for a long time that kids who continually misbehave amd disrupt classes, their parents ought to be fined and the money put back into the school. |
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You don’t need to hit or scream at them. An authoritative voice / tone from a very early age when teaching them right from wrong should suffice. After that it’s a conversation or time out, yes I still use this the rare occasions I need to, or removal of privileges |
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By *hezuMan
over a year ago
London |
"Parents dont raise kids anymore the internet does, I've seen kids ages 2-4 that know how to fully use an ipad, learning alphabet from youtube vids etc its mad
I love sweeping statements "
What was sweeping about that |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Parents dont raise kids anymore the internet does, I've seen kids ages 2-4 that know how to fully use an ipad, learning alphabet from youtube vids etc its mad
I love sweeping statements
What was sweeping about that "
You didn't say some parents, you implied it was all parents. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Parents dont raise kids anymore the internet does, I've seen kids ages 2-4 that know how to fully use an ipad, learning alphabet from youtube vids etc its mad
I love sweeping statements
What was sweeping about that "
‘Parents don’t raise kids anymore the internet does’ |
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"Parents dont raise kids anymore the internet does, I've seen kids ages 2-4 that know how to fully use an ipad, learning alphabet from youtube vids etc its mad"
I'll send you some sand and a stick and you can teach them the alphabet.
Oh ... and you can do my washing by hand while you are at it.... and WALK here ...... fuck all that technology stuff they'll be letting people use it if we are not careful.
B.T.W...... are you speaking to me from carrier pigeon ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just my opinion but the problems started when it became OK to be a single parent.
What problem ? "
The problem of parents of having no say in how kids are being brought up and being taught.
Do you ever read the OP  |
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By *hezuMan
over a year ago
London |
"Parents dont raise kids anymore the internet does, I've seen kids ages 2-4 that know how to fully use an ipad, learning alphabet from youtube vids etc its mad
I love sweeping statements
What was sweeping about that
‘Parents don’t raise kids anymore the internet does’"
You'd love trump then he always doing that |
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"Just my opinion but the problems started when it became OK to be a single parent.
What problem ?
The problem of parents of having no say in how kids are being brought up and being taught.
Do you ever read the OP "
What utter nonsense that statement is !
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Parents dont raise kids anymore the internet does, I've seen kids ages 2-4 that know how to fully use an ipad, learning alphabet from youtube vids etc its mad
I love sweeping statements
What was sweeping about that
‘Parents don’t raise kids anymore the internet does’"
I agree with that. Where do you find the time, especially when it becomes just 1 of you.
Just feed them the telly and tablet and everything is fine.
It's not .. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Parents dont raise kids anymore the internet does, I've seen kids ages 2-4 that know how to fully use an ipad, learning alphabet from youtube vids etc its mad
I love sweeping statements
What was sweeping about that
‘Parents don’t raise kids anymore the internet does’
I agree with that. Where do you find the time, especially when it becomes just 1 of you.
Just feed them the telly and tablet and everything is fine.
It's not .. "
Are you a single parent? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Parents dont raise kids anymore the internet does, I've seen kids ages 2-4 that know how to fully use an ipad, learning alphabet from youtube vids etc its mad
I love sweeping statements
What was sweeping about that
‘Parents don’t raise kids anymore the internet does’
I agree with that. Where do you find the time, especially when it becomes just 1 of you.
Just feed them the telly and tablet and everything is fine.
It's not .. "
Oh my god 
I need to bow out of this one I think. Such a silly thing to think |
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By *hezuMan
over a year ago
London |
"Parents dont raise kids anymore the internet does, I've seen kids ages 2-4 that know how to fully use an ipad, learning alphabet from youtube vids etc its mad
I love sweeping statements
What was sweeping about that
You didn't say some parents, you implied it was all parents. "
I agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
At certain times but not full time.
This is not an attack on any single parents. I want to make that clear.
It's the society that has been created for us, I am afraid. |
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"Just my opinion but the problems started when it became OK to be a single parent.
What problem ?
The problem of parents of having no say in how kids are being brought up and being taught.
Do you ever read the OP "
Thanks for asking. I read every word of the O.P. My question was to you as you simply stated 'the problem' but gave NO indication of what the problem is. The O.P. does NOT mention the word problem either.
If someone wants to ask clever dick questions they have to be clever first.
What problem started with single parents ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Parents dont raise kids anymore the internet does, I've seen kids ages 2-4 that know how to fully use an ipad, learning alphabet from youtube vids etc its mad
I love sweeping statements
What was sweeping about that
‘Parents don’t raise kids anymore the internet does’
I agree with that. Where do you find the time, especially when it becomes just 1 of you.
Just feed them the telly and tablet and everything is fine.
It's not ..
Oh my god
I need to bow out of this one I think. Such a silly thing to think"
I have seen it happen. So only going off personal experience. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"At certain times but not full time.
This is not an attack on any single parents. I want to make that clear.
It's the society that has been created for us, I am afraid. "
Actually you are attacking single parents, almost everything you've said has been an attack on single parents.
I, for one, think I've done a great job with my daughter, if you feel that you can't cope as a part time single parent, that's your issue. Don't assume everyone else has the same issues. |
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"If anyone has to repeatedly lay a finger on a child something's gone drastically wrong.
Unfortunately the level of parenting skills is dropping year on year (in general and not everyone) and sticking little Porscha in front of an iPad for hours because it keeps her quiet while they watch love island isn't the way to go.
Put down your own tech and the little ones and re connect with conversation, board games, reading etc
Once we get a generation of kids brought up properly again they'll teach there children and eventually old school values will return.
It's a big ask though !"
Especially when Daddy is on the computer all night. |
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"Parents dont raise kids anymore the internet does, I've seen kids ages 2-4 that know how to fully use an ipad, learning alphabet from youtube vids etc its mad
I love sweeping statements
What was sweeping about that
‘Parents don’t raise kids anymore the internet does’
I agree with that. Where do you find the time, especially when it becomes just 1 of you.
Just feed them the telly and tablet and everything is fine.
It's not .. "
You are making a blanket statement about single parents !
We find the time because we have too. My child read, draws, plays outside, plays board games etc. iPad is for holiday travel only and there are no game consoles in our house. If we watch tv we do so together
You obviously have no idea what single parents do for their kids, so you best do your research better before making stupid propaganda sweeping statements ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"At certain times but not full time.
This is not an attack on any single parents. I want to make that clear.
It's the society that has been created for us, I am afraid.
Actually you are attacking single parents, almost everything you've said has been an attack on single parents.
I, for one, think I've done a great job with my daughter, if you feel that you can't cope as a part time single parent, that's your issue. Don't assume everyone else has the same issues."
Just you and I have applauded you and others on the thread for their efforts...
That doesn't mean the millions of other families are doing as good a job as you have.
Don't make it personal and you may see the bigger picture |
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Of course they can. You don’t need to hurt your child, you don’t need to throw around threats, you don’t need a sticker chart. All you need is to understand your child, respect them and have time for them. It’s worked very well so far me. My children are secure and confident, they know right from wrong and understand why it is right or wrong enabling them to make informed choices.
There’s a lot of studies on this style of parenting and is promoted because it creates a healthy and positive bond. Look up attachment parenting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"At certain times but not full time.
This is not an attack on any single parents. I want to make that clear.
It's the society that has been created for us, I am afraid.
Actually you are attacking single parents, almost everything you've said has been an attack on single parents.
I, for one, think I've done a great job with my daughter, if you feel that you can't cope as a part time single parent, that's your issue. Don't assume everyone else has the same issues.
Just you and I have applauded you and others on the thread for their efforts...
That doesn't mean the millions of other families are doing as good a job as you have.
Don't make it personal and you may see the bigger picture "
And stop making sweeping statements and you may see the bigger picture too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Parents dont raise kids anymore the internet does, I've seen kids ages 2-4 that know how to fully use an ipad, learning alphabet from youtube vids etc its mad
I love sweeping statements
What was sweeping about that
‘Parents don’t raise kids anymore the internet does’
I agree with that. Where do you find the time, especially when it becomes just 1 of you.
Just feed them the telly and tablet and everything is fine.
It's not ..
You are making a blanket statement about single parents !
We find the time because we have too. My child read, draws, plays outside, plays board games etc. iPad is for holiday travel only and there are no game consoles in our house. If we watch tv we do so together
You obviously have no idea what single parents do for their kids, so you best do your research better before making stupid propaganda sweeping statements ! "
Yet again you are making it personal to yourself ... and it's not about you. Understand this part.
At what point did I mention your name or _eeley or anyone one else on the thread? |
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By *hezuMan
over a year ago
London |
me mum was a single parent and i got loads of respect for her but I find it sad that she had to do the job of two people and gave up loads of things for it, now technology teaches kids its less stress on parents n that but in the future robots gon take of the younger gen and school is going to be from home using virtual reality n all that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"At certain times but not full time.
This is not an attack on any single parents. I want to make that clear.
It's the society that has been created for us, I am afraid.
Actually you are attacking single parents, almost everything you've said has been an attack on single parents.
I, for one, think I've done a great job with my daughter, if you feel that you can't cope as a part time single parent, that's your issue. Don't assume everyone else has the same issues.
Just you and I have applauded you and others on the thread for their efforts...
That doesn't mean the millions of other families are doing as good a job as you have.
Don't make it personal and you may see the bigger picture
And stop making sweeping statements and you may see the bigger picture too "
I explained myself in further posts.. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"At certain times but not full time.
This is not an attack on any single parents. I want to make that clear.
It's the society that has been created for us, I am afraid.
Actually you are attacking single parents, almost everything you've said has been an attack on single parents.
I, for one, think I've done a great job with my daughter, if you feel that you can't cope as a part time single parent, that's your issue. Don't assume everyone else has the same issues.
Just you and I have applauded you and others on the thread for their efforts...
That doesn't mean the millions of other families are doing as good a job as you have.
Don't make it personal and you may see the bigger picture "
It is personal when you say 'single parents do so and so thing'.
I'm nothing like what you've described so you make it personal with your blanket statements putting us all in one group. |
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Some parents are awful. Some parents are wonderful. Their relationship status has no bearing on that.
Giving parents, who find themselves without a secure relationship, the support they need, has got to be good for everyone. Especially the children. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just my opinion but the problems started when it became OK to be a single parent.
What problem ?
The problem of parents of having no say in how kids are being brought up and being taught.
Do you ever read the OP
Thanks for asking. I read every word of the O.P. My question was to you as you simply stated 'the problem' but gave NO indication of what the problem is. The O.P. does NOT mention the word problem either.
If someone wants to ask clever dick questions they have to be clever first.
What problem started with single parents ? "
I answered your question. Your choosing to read what you want to read to create something that doesn't exist |
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"Parents dont raise kids anymore the internet does, I've seen kids ages 2-4 that know how to fully use an ipad, learning alphabet from youtube vids etc its mad
I love sweeping statements
What was sweeping about that
‘Parents don’t raise kids anymore the internet does’
I agree with that. Where do you find the time, especially when it becomes just 1 of you.
Just feed them the telly and tablet and everything is fine.
It's not ..
You are making a blanket statement about single parents !
We find the time because we have too. My child read, draws, plays outside, plays board games etc. iPad is for holiday travel only and there are no game consoles in our house. If we watch tv we do so together
You obviously have no idea what single parents do for their kids, so you best do your research better before making stupid propaganda sweeping statements !
Yet again you are making it personal to yourself ... and it's not about you. Understand this part.
At what point did I mention your name or _eeley or anyone one else on the thread? "
No you didn’t mention my name. However make a statement so sweeping and you should expect to get shot down with your pathetic generalisation. You have basically tarred every single parent with your comment and “we” will react accordingly to disprove your comment
All families have problems whether it be with two parents or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Parents dont raise kids anymore the internet does, I've seen kids ages 2-4 that know how to fully use an ipad, learning alphabet from youtube vids etc its mad
I love sweeping statements
What was sweeping about that
‘Parents don’t raise kids anymore the internet does’
I agree with that. Where do you find the time, especially when it becomes just 1 of you.
Just feed them the telly and tablet and everything is fine.
It's not ..
You are making a blanket statement about single parents !
We find the time because we have too. My child read, draws, plays outside, plays board games etc. iPad is for holiday travel only and there are no game consoles in our house. If we watch tv we do so together
You obviously have no idea what single parents do for their kids, so you best do your research better before making stupid propaganda sweeping statements !
Yet again you are making it personal to yourself ... and it's not about you. Understand this part.
At what point did I mention your name or _eeley or anyone one else on the thread?
No you didn’t mention my name. However make a statement so sweeping and you should expect to get shot down with your pathetic generalisation. You have basically tarred every single parent with your comment and “we” will react accordingly to disprove your comment
All families have problems whether it be with two parents or not. "
I like your passion and _eeley for that matter but you are 2 successful single parents.
I have also applauded the job single parents do.. Why not see the positive of what I am posting ?
Why just the negative? |
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"Just my opinion but the problems started when it became OK to be a single parent.
What problem ?
The problem of parents of having no say in how kids are being brought up and being taught.
Do you ever read the OP
Thanks for asking. I read every word of the O.P. My question was to you as you simply stated 'the problem' but gave NO indication of what the problem is. The O.P. does NOT mention the word problem either.
If someone wants to ask clever dick questions they have to be clever first.
What problem started with single parents ?
I answered your question. Your choosing to read what you want to read to create something that doesn't exist "
My bike has pedals that go forward. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just my opinion but the problems started when it became OK to be a single parent.
What problem ?
The problem of parents of having no say in how kids are being brought up and being taught.
Do you ever read the OP
Thanks for asking. I read every word of the O.P. My question was to you as you simply stated 'the problem' but gave NO indication of what the problem is. The O.P. does NOT mention the word problem either.
If someone wants to ask clever dick questions they have to be clever first.
What problem started with single parents ?
I answered your question. Your choosing to read what you want to read to create something that doesn't exist
My bike has pedals that go forward. "
Never came across one that peddled backwards. |
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"Parents dont raise kids anymore the internet does, I've seen kids ages 2-4 that know how to fully use an ipad, learning alphabet from youtube vids etc its mad
I love sweeping statements
What was sweeping about that
‘Parents don’t raise kids anymore the internet does’
I agree with that. Where do you find the time, especially when it becomes just 1 of you.
Just feed them the telly and tablet and everything is fine.
It's not ..
You are making a blanket statement about single parents !
We find the time because we have too. My child read, draws, plays outside, plays board games etc. iPad is for holiday travel only and there are no game consoles in our house. If we watch tv we do so together
You obviously have no idea what single parents do for their kids, so you best do your research better before making stupid propaganda sweeping statements !
Yet again you are making it personal to yourself ... and it's not about you. Understand this part.
At what point did I mention your name or _eeley or anyone one else on the thread?
No you didn’t mention my name. However make a statement so sweeping and you should expect to get shot down with your pathetic generalisation. You have basically tarred every single parent with your comment and “we” will react accordingly to disprove your comment
All families have problems whether it be with two parents or not.
I like your passion and _eeley for that matter but you are 2 successful single parents.
I have also applauded the job single parents do.. Why not see the positive of what I am posting ?
Why just the negative? "
Because everything you're saying is an attempt to justify blaming huge societal problems on allowing single parents to exist without shame. |
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I think one of the main problems is that everyone is too ready to criticise other people's parenting. If only other people brought their children up better we wouldn't have all these problems, if only other people gave their children my values we'd all be OK, if only the schools taught other people's children the stuff I think they should know.
It's always somebody else who has the problem |
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I don’t see it as the state’s responsibility to teach my child “life” skills, that is my role. They will naturally learn at school basic manners and respect, but that is just enforcing what should be taught by the parents as part of being a parent |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"I don’t see it as the state’s responsibility to teach my child “life” skills, that is my role. They will naturally learn at school basic manners and respect, but that is just enforcing what should be taught by the parents as part of being a parent "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Our daughters are both women now we brought them up strictly enough so they have respect for other people. They are still very close to us and look at us as friends but they always knew when enough is enough and not to push Dad to the limit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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State education is indoctrination.
I was state educated, beaten at every turn, still remember the strap across the hand, the thin whippy cane from the headmaster, the ruler strikes across the knuckles. You got to be insane to go to a state school. All because I wouldn't conform, smoked me dad's woodbine behind the bicycle sheds as I touched up Jennifer Eccles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just my opinion but the problems started when it became OK to be a single parent. "
It takes a village to raise a child... I believe that with every piece of my soul...
Sweden has it down |
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