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I’m not enough
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"What do you do when you feel like you aren’t good enough for someone? Not in fab terms, or sex etc. Say family or friends, or someone you love. " mainly have a good cry | |||
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"Certainly appears I am not good enough for fab Probably just scrub my profile, can’t think of a better solution " The OP literally says ‘not in terms of fab’  | |||
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"As I got older I had more of a fuck it attitude. If someone feels I'm not enough for them then they should walk out of my life or get over themselves. I'm me and there's nothing they can do to change that."  | |||
"If you’re made to feel that you aren’t good enough, you walk away Toxic relationships aren’t good for anyone " | |||
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"Certainly appears I am not good enough for fab Probably just scrub my profile, can’t think of a better solution The OP literally says ‘not in terms of fab’ "If you would have punctuated your opening post more correctly I would agree, but hey this goes to prove the attitude of so many round here | |||
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"Certainly appears I am not good enough for fab Probably just scrub my profile, can’t think of a better solution The OP literally says ‘not in terms of fab’
If you would have punctuated your opening post more correctly I would agree, but hey this goes to prove the attitude of so many round here"Well said | |||
"Certainly appears I am not good enough for fab Probably just scrub my profile, can’t think of a better solution The OP literally says ‘not in terms of fab’
If you would have punctuated your opening post more correctly I would agree, but hey this goes to prove the attitude of so many round here"Sorry, I just assumed that people would actually read the OP before responding. My bad | |||
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"What do you do when you feel like you aren’t good enough for someone? Not in fab terms, or sex etc. Say family or friends, or someone you love. " A really really common way to feel when your pregnant OP, hormones, fear, often lack if decent sleep, worry about everything coming etc etc just breathe deeply and go with it ... I found a jolly good cry helped! Nothing is going to change how you're feeling about except it, go with it and give yourself a stern "I can do this" talk ... sleep will help and put your feet higher than your hips (it actually helps!) | |||
"What do you do when you feel like you aren’t good enough for someone? Not in fab terms, or sex etc. Say family or friends, or someone you love. " I just move on and carry on doing what I do lost a very good friend over it years ago never seen him since | |||
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"What do you do when you feel like you aren’t good enough for someone? Not in fab terms, or sex etc. Say family or friends, or someone you love. " Yeah. Always tough. Even though I think I've broken through I might still call on acceptance. If I see myself going down that route or identify a matter which potentially lowers my mood I'm lucky to bounceback quickly. What helps is for me to accept more who I am and think less about what others think about me. xx | |||
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"What do you do when you feel like you aren’t good enough for someone? Not in fab terms, or sex etc. Say family or friends, or someone you love. " I eventually distance myself from them as they are not good for me and you can only take so much of feeling like that | |||
  ). I usually wouldn’t care if I’m not ‘good enough’. I know I’m enough for me, I’m enough for C, I’m (usually) happy with myself, so if I’m not enough for someone else, fuck ‘em. It’s their problem. I’m not going to change who I am to try and please them.
But C is at poker and I’m alone and just have time to sit and over think things. So just a bit upset. But I’ll be all good soon enough
And some lovely advice on this thread x | |||
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"I don't ever feel like that. I know I'm awesome. " I’m usually the same. A slight blip in my psyche | |||
"I don't ever feel like that. I know I'm awesome. I’m usually the same. A slight blip in my psyche " Get over it sweetie x | |||
"What do you do when you feel like you aren’t good enough for someone? Not in fab terms, or sex etc. Say family or friends, or someone you love. " I never feel like that. A lot would depend on whether these feelings were coming from within myself or the other person had voiced them. I never EVER feel I am not good enough for others. I don't expect to get on with everyone or for everyone to like me but being 'good enough' isn't something I doubt. Due to my philosophies not due to me thinking I am wonderful. | |||
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"What do you do when you feel like you aren’t good enough for someone? Not in fab terms, or sex etc. Say family or friends, or someone you love. " If you respect that person then improve yourself in the areas you feel you let them down | |||
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"What do you do when you feel like you aren’t good enough for someone? Not in fab terms, or sex etc. Say family or friends, or someone you love. If you respect that person then improve yourself in the areas you feel you let them down " Lol okay, and what if I respect myself? I’d let myself down trying to change myself. | |||
"It probably won't change. Hasn't his brother got a new baby too? They will probably compare the 2 little ones and not favourably. It's their issue not yours. Look after your growing family and enjoy it all. Your baby may bring them closer but if he doesn't, don't beat yourself up about it. X" Yep, baby is about seven months old now. And that’s what I’m worried about - we constantly hear about how amazing he is (makes us feel a bit uncomfortable as we’ve been told we aren’t allowed to see photos, ask questions, get to know him etc) and I’m worried things will be compared. And I’m trying not too - I’ve already cheered up a bit x | |||
"What do you do when you feel like you aren’t good enough for someone? Not in fab terms, or sex etc. Say family or friends, or someone you love. " If they make you feel like that, then they are not worthy of your love. Fuck 'em | |||
"It probably won't change. Hasn't his brother got a new baby too? They will probably compare the 2 little ones and not favourably. It's their issue not yours. Look after your growing family and enjoy it all. Your baby may bring them closer but if he doesn't, don't beat yourself up about it. X Yep, baby is about seven months old now. And that’s what I’m worried about - we constantly hear about how amazing he is (makes us feel a bit uncomfortable as we’ve been told we aren’t allowed to see photos, ask questions, get to know him etc) and I’m worried things will be compared. And I’m trying not too - I’ve already cheered up a bit x"Their baby will always 'be in front' of yours just because he's older. He'll walk, be teething, talk, etc etc first. So not worth worrying about.
Glad you've cheered up. | |||
"What do you do when you feel like you aren’t good enough for someone? Not in fab terms, or sex etc. Say family or friends, or someone you love. If they make you feel like that, then they are not worthy of your love. Fuck 'em " Hear, hear | |||
"What do you do when you feel like you aren’t good enough for someone? Not in fab terms, or sex etc. Say family or friends, or someone you love. If you respect that person then improve yourself in the areas you feel you let them down Lol okay, and what if I respect myself? I’d let myself down trying to change myself. " you're asking advice, you don't have to change drastically just a few things you feel you let person down with, you obviously feel like you need to | |||
"What do you do when you feel like you aren’t good enough for someone? Not in fab terms, or sex etc. Say family or friends, or someone you love. If you respect that person then improve yourself in the areas you feel you let them down Lol okay, and what if I respect myself? I’d let myself down trying to change myself. you're asking advice, you don't have to change drastically just a few things you feel you let person down with, you obviously feel like you need to " I don’t feel like I need to at all | |||
"What do you do when you feel like you aren’t good enough for someone? Not in fab terms, or sex etc. Say family or friends, or someone you love. If you respect that person then improve yourself in the areas you feel you let them down " What a ridiculous statement!!!!! | |||
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"I tried to message you Q.L. " I’ve sent you one | |||
"What do you do when you feel like you aren’t good enough for someone? Not in fab terms, or sex etc. Say family or friends, or someone you love. If you respect that person then improve yourself in the areas you feel you let them down What a ridiculous statement!!!!!" lol is it I could say the same of your criticism, I raise your ridiculous and call  | |||
"What do you do when you feel like you aren’t good enough for someone? Not in fab terms, or sex etc. Say family or friends, or someone you love. " I take a step back, try and revalue why I'm feeling like that and then act upon it. | |||
"Basically it’s my MIL. I got with C when I was 14 and it was always rocky with her...she was always very close with his brother’s girlfriends (his brother is my age) but I dunno, we got on but just weren’t as close. It all kicked off after our wedding a couple of years ago and we ended up not speaking to his mum and dad for a year (we still don’t speak to his brother or his wife). Things had been going on for years with his brother (which I can’t get into) but after our wedding it was clear that I couldn’t continue my relationship with them. C couldn’t either - he ended up being off work for three months with severe anxiety and depression. His brother has always been the favourite - to the point were other family members have pointed it out, my family can see it, bloody everyone can. We get on well enough now, they only live a two min drive away so we pop up a couple of times a week. But it still feels like no matter what I do I’ll never be enough for his mum. Everything is ‘oh Carly this..’ ‘Carly that...’ (the brothers wife) and everything we do, is compared to them. They know fine well we don’t speak to his brother and his wife, and they know why. They used to get involved with it but C begged them not too, and when they didn’t, we didn’t speak for a year. But it just feels like no matter what I do or say, it won’t be enough. I make C happy, we’re having a baby, we love each other and are in a good place in our lives. It’s just a bit meh. But - I think I’m hormonal (obviously ). I usually wouldn’t care if I’m not ‘good enough’. I know I’m enough for me, I’m enough for C, I’m (usually) happy with myself, so if I’m not enough for someone else, fuck ‘em. It’s their problem. I’m not going to change who I am to try and please them.
But C is at poker and I’m alone and just have time to sit and over think things. So just a bit upset. But I’ll be all good soon enough
And some lovely advice on this thread x"Some people you just cannot please no matter what you do, and if you try then you will do so at the detriment of your own mental health and wellbeing. I've been through similar with my brothers wife, she hates me, always has done! And I used to take all the shit she gave me because I did not want to upset my brother. I took all I could take when she started on my son, one thing to treat me like that, but my son! No fucking way. She got it from me After we stayed mutual but she can't help herself. She caused me so much shit after my Mum died, my brother finally turned on her, too little too late. Like I say fuck 'em They will be the ones missing out when they have a new Grandchild, but who's fault is that!! Not yours that's for sure. Hold your head high, take stock of what really matters xx Take care, the stress is not worth it Hakuna Matata!! Xx | |||
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"Basically it’s my MIL. I got with C when I was 14 and it was always rocky with her...she was always very close with his brother’s girlfriends (his brother is my age) but I dunno, we got on but just weren’t as close. It all kicked off after our wedding a couple of years ago and we ended up not speaking to his mum and dad for a year (we still don’t speak to his brother or his wife). Things had been going on for years with his brother (which I can’t get into) but after our wedding it was clear that I couldn’t continue my relationship with them. C couldn’t either - he ended up being off work for three months with severe anxiety and depression. His brother has always been the favourite - to the point were other family members have pointed it out, my family can see it, bloody everyone can. We get on well enough now, they only live a two min drive away so we pop up a couple of times a week. But it still feels like no matter what I do I’ll never be enough for his mum. Everything is ‘oh Carly this..’ ‘Carly that...’ (the brothers wife) and everything we do, is compared to them. They know fine well we don’t speak to his brother and his wife, and they know why. They used to get involved with it but C begged them not too, and when they didn’t, we didn’t speak for a year. But it just feels like no matter what I do or say, it won’t be enough. I make C happy, we’re having a baby, we love each other and are in a good place in our lives. It’s just a bit meh. But - I think I’m hormonal (obviously ). I usually wouldn’t care if I’m not ‘good enough’. I know I’m enough for me, I’m enough for C, I’m (usually) happy with myself, so if I’m not enough for someone else, fuck ‘em. It’s their problem. I’m not going to change who I am to try and please them.
But C is at poker and I’m alone and just have time to sit and over think things. So just a bit upset. But I’ll be all good soon enough
And some lovely advice on this thread x"Awww chin up hun. I can relate to how your feeling and it’s only natural to want your mil to like you. If I was in your position I’d just keep doing what your doing by being polite but I wouldn’t go out of my way to visit as often. Your baby will be here soon and baby can often change family dynamics for better. Hope your ok x | |||
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"Basically it’s my MIL. I got with C when I was 14 and it was always rocky with her...she was always very close with his brother’s girlfriends (his brother is my age) but I dunno, we got on but just weren’t as close. It all kicked off after our wedding a couple of years ago and we ended up not speaking to his mum and dad for a year (we still don’t speak to his brother or his wife). Things had been going on for years with his brother (which I can’t get into) but after our wedding it was clear that I couldn’t continue my relationship with them. C couldn’t either - he ended up being off work for three months with severe anxiety and depression. His brother has always been the favourite - to the point were other family members have pointed it out, my family can see it, bloody everyone can. We get on well enough now, they only live a two min drive away so we pop up a couple of times a week. But it still feels like no matter what I do I’ll never be enough for his mum. Everything is ‘oh Carly this..’ ‘Carly that...’ (the brothers wife) and everything we do, is compared to them. They know fine well we don’t speak to his brother and his wife, and they know why. They used to get involved with it but C begged them not too, and when they didn’t, we didn’t speak for a year. But it just feels like no matter what I do or say, it won’t be enough. I make C happy, we’re having a baby, we love each other and are in a good place in our lives. It’s just a bit meh. But - I think I’m hormonal (obviously ). I usually wouldn’t care if I’m not ‘good enough’. I know I’m enough for me, I’m enough for C, I’m (usually) happy with myself, so if I’m not enough for someone else, fuck ‘em. It’s their problem. I’m not going to change who I am to try and please them.
But C is at poker and I’m alone and just have time to sit and over think things. So just a bit upset. But I’ll be all good soon enough
And some lovely advice on this thread x
Some people you just cannot please no matter what you do, and if you try then you will do so at the detriment of your own mental health and wellbeing.
I've been through similar with my brothers wife, she hates me, always has done! And I used to take all the shit she gave me because I did not want to upset my brother.
I took all I could take when she started on my son, one thing to treat me like that, but my son! No fucking way. She got it from me
After we stayed mutual but she can't help herself.
She caused me so much shit after my Mum died, my brother finally turned on her, too little too late.
Like I say fuck 'em
They will be the ones missing out when they have a new Grandchild, but who's fault is that!! Not yours that's for sure.
Hold your head high, take stock of what really matters xx
Take care, the stress is not worth it
Hakuna Matata!! Xx "Jesus how awful! That just sounds so similar to my situation - I’ll never get on with my brother in law or his wife but needs be, I’d put on a face and get on with it! And thank you xx | |||
"My late MIL was the same, she was just a bitter old woman and missed out on 3 beautiful grandchildren. Their loss and your hubby and child will love you no matter what, that’s the important thing x "  xx | |||
"Basically it’s my MIL. I got with C when I was 14 and it was always rocky with her...she was always very close with his brother’s girlfriends (his brother is my age) but I dunno, we got on but just weren’t as close. It all kicked off after our wedding a couple of years ago and we ended up not speaking to his mum and dad for a year (we still don’t speak to his brother or his wife). Things had been going on for years with his brother (which I can’t get into) but after our wedding it was clear that I couldn’t continue my relationship with them. C couldn’t either - he ended up being off work for three months with severe anxiety and depression. His brother has always been the favourite - to the point were other family members have pointed it out, my family can see it, bloody everyone can. We get on well enough now, they only live a two min drive away so we pop up a couple of times a week. But it still feels like no matter what I do I’ll never be enough for his mum. Everything is ‘oh Carly this..’ ‘Carly that...’ (the brothers wife) and everything we do, is compared to them. They know fine well we don’t speak to his brother and his wife, and they know why. They used to get involved with it but C begged them not too, and when they didn’t, we didn’t speak for a year. But it just feels like no matter what I do or say, it won’t be enough. I make C happy, we’re having a baby, we love each other and are in a good place in our lives. It’s just a bit meh. But - I think I’m hormonal (obviously ). I usually wouldn’t care if I’m not ‘good enough’. I know I’m enough for me, I’m enough for C, I’m (usually) happy with myself, so if I’m not enough for someone else, fuck ‘em. It’s their problem. I’m not going to change who I am to try and please them.
But C is at poker and I’m alone and just have time to sit and over think things. So just a bit upset. But I’ll be all good soon enough
And some lovely advice on this thread x
Awww chin up hun. I can relate to how your feeling and it’s only natural to want your mil to like you. If I was in your position I’d just keep doing what your doing by being polite but I wouldn’t go out of my way to visit as often.
Your baby will be here soon and baby can often change family dynamics for better. Hope your ok x"Me and C had a chat when me came home and we’ve decided to stop going down as often. We’ll see if they pop up and see us for a change! And thank you x | |||
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"They obviously do these things to try and impact on you. Why is that do you reckon? As to me it reeks of insecurity and the need for approbation from others. Just be the best you can be. Don’t change for them. And appear unaffected and serene. Rise above that shit and pay everybody the greatest compliment and that is to be yourself. " | |||
"What do you do when you feel like you aren’t good enough for someone? Not in fab terms, or sex etc. Say family or friends, or someone you love. If you respect that person then improve yourself in the areas you feel you let them down What a ridiculous statement!!!!!" I think we all need to take a chill pill, here. I think what Gerry is trying to say, is that the road to self-belief is to do your best, and to try and look at yourself from the outside in to improve and better yourself in any way, shape or form. Nobody is perfect, and there is always room for self improvement. Even if that consists of working on respecting yourself, and not others. OP, I've been in the exact situation you are in. Focus on that baby, and feel the joy it gives you. Focus on your family (as in yourself, your husband and your little bundle of joy) and as hard as it seems, try and visualise yourself in a bubble when you are in the company of your husband's family - they probably don't even realise how upsetting their comments are.... Let them wash over you. So next time they say something about his brother and super bloody Carly, just nod, change the subject back to your baby. All the best and chin up! x Niki | |||
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"What do you do when you feel like you aren’t good enough for someone? Not in fab terms, or sex etc. Say family or friends, or someone you love. If you respect that person then improve yourself in the areas you feel you let them down What a ridiculous statement!!!!! I think we all need to take a chill pill, here. I think what Gerry is trying to say, is that the road to self-belief is to do your best, and to try and look at yourself from the outside in to improve and better yourself in any way, shape or form. Nobody is perfect, and there is always room for self improvement. Even if that consists of working on respecting yourself, and not others. OP, I've been in the exact situation you are in. Focus on that baby, and feel the joy it gives you. Focus on your family (as in yourself, your husband and your little bundle of joy) and as hard as it seems, try and visualise yourself in a bubble when you are in the company of your husband's family - they probably don't even realise how upsetting their comments are.... Let them wash over you. So next time they say something about his brother and super bloody Carly, just nod, change the subject back to your baby. All the best and chin up! x Niki" Thank you xxx | |||
" Jesus how awful! That just sounds so similar to my situation - I’ll never get on with my brother in law or his wife but needs be, I’d put on a face and get on with it! And thank you xx" I was 10 when she met my brother, and was vile. My Dad was the only one who defended me at the time. She asked my Mum once if she was more important to her than me. My Mum did not mince her words. I was with my Mum when she passed away, later the Nurse handed me the jewellery Mum had been wearing, I popped it in Mums bag, later on when we read the will Mum had stipulated I was to have her jewellery my sister out law threw a fit. Within 20 minutes of my Mum dying she was wearing Mum's jewellery. I laughed in her face as she had to take it all off in front of me! So tempted to burn it all in front of her! And told her so. Fair fucks my brother was mortified. Then as I was a few minutes late to at the funeral she spent her time slagging me off to anyone who listened as my Mum's body was being loaded up. I wasn't told until later, that's when I told my Brother to keep her away from me now and in the future, or I'd bury the fat cunt! Saving face is not worth it, nobody is worth sacrificing your happiness for xx | |||
" And sorry, not trying to dominate this thread, but in terms of "not being enough", you are ALL and EVERYTHING that that little soul inside you needs. Everything! So give it that, be yourself and be happy! xx Niki" I appreciate it xxx | |||
" Jesus how awful! That just sounds so similar to my situation - I’ll never get on with my brother in law or his wife but needs be, I’d put on a face and get on with it! And thank you xx I was 10 when she met my brother, and was vile. My Dad was the only one who defended me at the time. She asked my Mum once if she was more important to her than me. My Mum did not mince her words. I was with my Mum when she passed away, later the Nurse handed me the jewellery Mum had been wearing, I popped it in Mums bag, later on when we read the will Mum had stipulated I was to have her jewellery my sister out law threw a fit. Within 20 minutes of my Mum dying she was wearing Mum's jewellery. I laughed in her face as she had to take it all off in front of me! So tempted to burn it all in front of her! And told her so. Fair fucks my brother was mortified. Then as I was a few minutes late to at the funeral she spent her time slagging me off to anyone who listened as my Mum's body was being loaded up. I wasn't told until later, that's when I told my Brother to keep her away from me now and in the future, or I'd bury the fat cunt! Saving face is not worth it, nobody is worth sacrificing your happiness for xx " Oh my god she sounds absolutely vile! I don’t understand how people can be that disgusting. And at your own mum’s funeral - bloody vile  xx | |||
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