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The Uxbridge Dictionary

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hats off to Monkeytennis1 who reminded me of this by starting a great round of Mornington Crescent....

Tim Brooke Taylor recently added

Torpedo (n) a Glastonbury dwelling nonce

One of my favourite was always

Painting (n) a Jamaican instrument of torture

Anyone care to add?

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Deliver - to remove somebody's liver

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Dialysis - to call your sister

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Busking - owner of many buses

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

Avoidable - what a matador does

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

"Avoidable - what a matador does "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Avoidable - what a matador does "

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Brouhaha - a funny d*unk

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Adultery - comes after puberty

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

Himalayer - a transsexual rooster

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Dictaphone - ringing someone you don’t like

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Collywobbles - a three legged dog

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

A la carte - a muslim wheelbarrow

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Lamb shank - Sean Connery's sheep drowned

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Lamb shank - Sean Connery's sheep drowned"

Haha

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Equidistant - An ant who is being slagged off by a horse

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Equidistant - An ant who is being slagged off by a horse"

Nice

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Himalayer - a transsexual rooster "

This is fantastic

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

I've got one that alludes to a racially offensive term. Would that be a bad move?

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Purchase - Running after a cat

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Retail - Yorkshire bitter

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/07/19 20:32:47]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Retail - Yorkshire bitter "

Took me far too long to work that out. I'm an idiot

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Rusk - A world domination game for babies

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

"Retail - Yorkshire bitter

Took me far too long to work that out. I'm an idiot

You just know I can’t do accents and thus were confused.

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Metronome - a garden ornament that lives in cities.

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Hullabaloo - How to greet a bear

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Hippocampus - A very large gay cat.

I'd like to say I made that one up but I didn't.

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Navigate - A scandal involving road-builders.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Peer pressure ~ very persuasive French man

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Turmoil - Lubricant for schools.

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Tireless - A car on bricks.

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Nectarine - Giraffe paté

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Litre, what a Jawdee lights his fag with.

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Ostracize - About as big as an ostrich

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Navigate - A scandal involving road-builders."

That's outstanding

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

"Navigate - A scandal involving road-builders.

That's outstanding

Thank you. I made it up myself.

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Antique - the shrill cry of scared ant

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan over a year ago

Sussex

Tree fellers -Two or more Irish fellers who cut down trees.

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Judicious - Hebrew crockery

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Flibbertigibbet - dolphin gallows

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Infertile - Work out that a loose slate is causing yer roof to leak

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

Diction - she left when she saw his cock

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

Phobia - not real ale

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bin men.. Yorkshire Transvestites

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

These ones aren't originals of mine...

Oyster - A person who peppers their conversations with Yiddish expressions

Water otter - A kettle

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Celebrate - to rank famous people

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By *andonmessMan over a year ago

A world all of his own

Wheelie bin - where you've actually visited.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Abandon - Upcoming musical entertainment

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Veritude - well eaten

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Squeamish.. a bit like a scream

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I saw this one somewhere recently:

Piccaninny - the voting procedure for the new Tory leader.

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Livid - The French version of YouTube.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mascarpone: To conceal a small horse

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Conscript - An actor who ad-libs

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan over a year ago

Sussex

"Mascarpone: To conceal a small horse"

alt. The cheese flavour used in Fundus lasagne

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Conscript - An actor who ad-libs"

Or a prisoner who writes for the BBC

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Transvestite: Borrowing an undergarment to find it doesn't fit

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By *andonmessMan over a year ago

A world all of his own

Farting- slang term for a distant object.

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Stylist - Accommodation adverts for pigs.

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Renting - A small bird ringing a small bell.

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Baby seat ...french woman who's been fucked by a large coloured man

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Corsican....vote of confidence

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Prevail - A woman who hasn't tried on her wedding day attire yet

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Cedar tree... There's a tree over there

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Incandescent .. south American Indian going downhill

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Bolton.. screw something to something else

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Gravesend..post a tombstone somewhere

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Biggleswade .. pilot wearing gumboots

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan over a year ago

Sussex

Severe: what the Dr wrote on Van Gogh's medical notes

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Marmite...my mum has joined fab

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Marmalade...my mum has had a meet on fab

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Titleist... favourite section in my hotlist

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By *heffmMan over a year ago

sheffield

entry.. a chicken giving it a go

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By *isaAndNicoleTransTV/TS over a year ago

Southport / Ellesmere Port

In honour of the OP:

Optimist - bounce on one leg towards the fog

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Portray - A sub standard carrying implement

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By *isaAndNicoleTransTV/TS over a year ago

Southport / Ellesmere Port

...and:

Congenital - cheat your bollocks out of their life savings

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Portray - A sub standard carrying implement "

Portray - Illuminating after dinner tipple.

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Frequency - A campaign to release a medical examiner from prison.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Admiral, she needs more friends on face book

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Ambivalence - A vehicle for taking an uncertain person to hospital.

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Increase - Where you'll find the batsman.

I'm on fire here!

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Toilet - The rental of children's playthings.

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Document - The surgeon you were actually referring to.

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Inspire - where you get the best view from a church.

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Reverberant - An insect with an echo.

I'm going to bed now.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Therapist

Got a ten stretch.

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Fielding - late night microwaving in the dark

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Malady - a bit like a duck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Fielding - late night microwaving in the dark"

Very good, that.

I was on a 24 hour stretch so I missed this thread last night, but it is rather sharp.

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

"Fielding - late night microwaving in the dark

Very good, that.

I was on a 24 hour stretch so I missed this thread last night, but it is rather sharp."

Welcome back.

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Maritime - "You're pregnant"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I thinking (master slimmer) of these stupid things everywhere now.

Walking - master bricklayer

Breakfast - stop the car now!

Shampoo - fake shit

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Gravy - close to death

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Bespoke - how baby bees are made

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Horny - the middle of a prostitute's leg.

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Transfer - What a regendered person might wear

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

High street - when a robbery goes as planned in Newcastle.

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Binge - where Sean Connery puts his rubbish

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Bipolar - a bear who is grizzly one day and all white the next

(Groan!!)

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

Become - bee jizz

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Brandish..

.Aldis products

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Binge - where Sean Connery puts his rubbish"

Shellfish - When Sean Connery refuses to give you his last Rolo

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By *dam1971Man over a year ago

Bedford

Control: a short, hairy bloke living under a bridge who will deceive you

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Lizard - Don't pick a fight with Elizabeth

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sheffield - a cook who's been cured.

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Drink - A G.P. with tattoos

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Basket - what sea bass wear to football training.

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

Reindeer - mansplaining what the water coming out of the sky is!

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

Missive - South African for ‘very big’

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Damnation - A country with lots of otters

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

"Damnation - A country with lots of otters "

Do you mean beavers?

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Damnation - A country with lots of otters

Do you mean beavers?"

Yeah, that's the one

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

At - aborted sneeze.

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By *dam1971Man over a year ago

Bedford

Wheel:

What Jonathan Ross says isn’t fake

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Dungeness....domme

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Alpaca.. helpful person at the supermarket checkout called Alan

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Car park - part of a circle drawn by a fish.

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Bognor Regis..the king's kazi

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Effluent... good at swearing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Window - the lure of gambling

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Carlsberg - The lager that sunk the Titanic.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Optimist = spectacle fog

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

optimist Tim the operator is...

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Scarf - to eat in Knightsbridge

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By *dam1971Man over a year ago

Bedford

Sex: what coal is delivered in, in Knightsbridge

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Sanctity - multiple breasted Frenchwoman

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Caustic - "Good heavens! A twig!”

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Porcupine - to regret becoming a vegetarian

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Apology ... sorry I have an iPhone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Carpet ~ the spider that lives in the glovebox

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Sanctity - multiple breasted Frenchwoman"

Sanctity - When you drop your chicken piece in the canal.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Carpet ~ the spider that lives in the glovebox"

Carpet - when you have finished all your fish

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Porcupine - to regret becoming a vegetarian"

Porcupine - queue of poor people wanting disinfectant.

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Geriatric.. Germany football team scoring three goals

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Whitstable...the place in the pub where all the clever clogs sit

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Geriatric.. Germany football team scoring three goals"

I love this

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Trachiectomy - surgical removal of a shell suit

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Colonnade - A fizzy drink that's particularly good for your digestive system

Barricade - A fizzy drink named after the 44th POTUS.

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

"Trachiectomy - surgical removal of a shell suit "

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Physiology - the science of soft drinks

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Discombobulate - I saved my sperm for Bob but he never turned up

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Terraform- An unruly classroom .

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Spectacle - An incredibly small penis

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By *olacolaMan over a year ago

lincoln

Quince

Quite like a coincidence

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Trash - Yorkshire measles

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Slater - Abbreviation for "See you later."

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan over a year ago

Aylesbury

Agitator- a device that turns people into gits

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By *ust PeachyWoman over a year ago

Prestonish

"Dictaphone - ringing someone you don’t like"

Thought it was dialafuck for women and bi/gay men?

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Dictator - An amusingly-shaped vegetable of the type that featured regular on That's Life.

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Tallyho - a prostitute who's good at counting

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Geriatric.. Germany football team scoring three goals

I love this"

logophile - adoration of limbo dancers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Menopause - The self proclaimed act of continually moving.

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By *olacolaMan over a year ago

lincoln

Slippery

A lot like a slipper

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Constable - A seating area for assholes

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Countryside - Killing Piers Morgan

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Bi-curious

When a person wonders what it would be like to cycle to work.

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By *andonmessMan over a year ago

A world all of his own

Phone - the most acidic.

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Sorry to resurrect an old one but I've thought of more and this hasn't reached 175 yet.

Parsnip - What Dad does with scissors.

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan over a year ago

Sussex

"Mascarpone: To conceal a small horse"

Alt. The cheese flavouring used in Findus Lasagne

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Sorry to resurrect an old one but I've thought of more and this hasn't reached 175 yet.

Parsnip - What Dad does with scissors. "

You'll have some old old thread hater moaning......

carrot - what happens when you don't maintain your vehicle

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Sorry to resurrect an old one but I've thought of more and this hasn't reached 175 yet.

Parsnip - What Dad does with scissors. "

Parsnip - Tot of whisky for dads

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Lamb shank - Sean Connery's sheep drowned"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tannoy ~ white bits

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By *20cplMan over a year ago

Manchester

My favourite

Countryside - to kill Piers Morgan

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

TARDIS....the most difficult in Yorkshire

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

"Sorry to resurrect an old one but I've thought of more and this hasn't reached 175 yet.

Parsnip - What Dad does with scissors.

Parsnip - Tot of whisky for dads"

I should have said...

Parsnip - Vasectomy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Welder, agreeing sarcastically.

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