FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why do people get so upset when you simply say no thank you.
Why do people get so upset when you simply say no thank you.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Iv had a few of these in the last hour. I just wondered what they think is going to happen when they get rude but still say they want to meet.
So my question is has anyone ever met someone they said no to but after a lot of begging said... Oh go on then! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd be happy with a "no thanks". Well, I wouldn't be happy, but at least it would show that the person I sent a message to had the dignity to reply to a message to say that they weren't interested. I pretty much stop sending messages because I was tired of messages just being read and not being replied to |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No if I've said no thank u there a reason I've said that so no amount of begging would get me to meet them "
Absolutely, I just wondered if this approach had ever worked.  |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"Shows the real personality and not the facade they pretend they are. Stay clear. "
Exactly this once they get rude you know that's the real them and I am happy to not have wasted anymore time getting to try and know them.
Only one guy who came back a week after being rude I have continued to speak to as both of us were having a bad day when we first spoke we haven't met tho. The rest were just rude cockwombles who ended up blocked. |
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I never chase on purpose but awkward thing is if a lady never replied and you send them another message you get a reminder..
If she says no thanks so you leave her alone and forget her, if down the line you see a totally different pic and therefore think you’re sending a first message again there’s no way of knowing, so you send it, get a reply, try to apologise and find yourself blocked
It’s awkward but at least it stops there lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Shows the real personality and not the facade they pretend they are. Stay clear.
Exactly this once they get rude you know that's the real them and I am happy to not have wasted anymore time getting to try and know them.
Only one guy who came back a week after being rude I have continued to speak to as both of us were having a bad day when we first spoke we haven't met tho. The rest were just rude cockwombles who ended up blocked. "
Oh that's interesting, so you gave him another chance. So I guess sometimes it does get resolved.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I never chase on purpose but awkward thing is if a lady never replied and you send them another message you get a reminder..
If she says no thanks so you leave her alone and forget her, if down the line you see a totally different pic and therefore think you’re sending a first message again there’s no way of knowing, so you send it, get a reply, try to apologise and find yourself blocked
It’s awkward but at least it stops there lol"
Best way to stop this is if someone says no block them so this doesn't happen. |
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I met someone once who persistently sent messages and I ignored. He would message about things on my profile. One day I gave up, got talking, all was fine. Agreed to meet as a social only.
Well it was awful, he didn’t want it to be a social when we met. I ran away. Lesson learnt |
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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago
Nottinghamshire |
Same as the guys that u say yes I meet for a social first then they say but if we get on we book a room and have fun on the night and if u say no I do social first they never message again makes me laugh haha easy to le them out  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I met someone once who persistently sent messages and I ignored. He would message about things on my profile. One day I gave up, got talking, all was fine. Agreed to meet as a social only.
Well it was awful, he didn’t want it to be a social when we met. I ran away. Lesson learnt"
Oh so this approach does work... Well sort of. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No if I've said no thank u there a reason I've said that so no amount of begging would get me to meet them
Absolutely, I just wondered if this approach had ever worked. "
No its never worked but sometimes you're discounted on a pretty flimsy reason eg some discount on distance and I know in my case distance means nothing to me and I would always go to them  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No if I've said no thank u there a reason I've said that so no amount of begging would get me to meet them
Absolutely, I just wondered if this approach had ever worked. No its never worked but sometimes you're discounted on a pretty flimsy reason eg some discount on distance and I know in my case distance means nothing to me and I would always go to them "
But it's not flimsy to the person saying no. |
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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago
Nottinghamshire |
"No if I've said no thank u there a reason I've said that so no amount of begging would get me to meet them
Absolutely, I just wondered if this approach had ever worked. No its never worked but sometimes you're discounted on a pretty flimsy reason eg some discount on distance and I know in my case distance means nothing to me and I would always go to them
But it's not flimsy to the person saying no. "
Deffo not filmsy for the person saying no |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No if I've said no thank u there a reason I've said that so no amount of begging would get me to meet them
Absolutely, I just wondered if this approach had ever worked. No its never worked but sometimes you're discounted on a pretty flimsy reason eg some discount on distance and I know in my case distance means nothing to me and I would always go to them
But it's not flimsy to the person saying no.
Deffo not filmsy for the person saying no "
it is really all meets have to be planned wouldn’t you agree? So it's no big deal and although many say they want local....... Shock horror if you know the person or they're your children's friends parents. |
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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago
Nottinghamshire |
"No if I've said no thank u there a reason I've said that so no amount of begging would get me to meet them
Absolutely, I just wondered if this approach had ever worked. No its never worked but sometimes you're discounted on a pretty flimsy reason eg some discount on distance and I know in my case distance means nothing to me and I would always go to them
But it's not flimsy to the person saying no.
Deffo not filmsy for the person saying no it is really all meets have to be planned wouldn’t you agree? So it's no big deal and although many say they want local....... Shock horror if you know the person or they're your children's friends parents. "
I've spoke to two of here I grew up with after speaking we realised we knew each other one now is a really good mate we do clubs etc but never play the other I've played with Haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No if I've said no thank u there a reason I've said that so no amount of begging would get me to meet them
Absolutely, I just wondered if this approach had ever worked. No its never worked but sometimes you're discounted on a pretty flimsy reason eg some discount on distance and I know in my case distance means nothing to me and I would always go to them
But it's not flimsy to the person saying no.
Deffo not filmsy for the person saying no it is really all meets have to be planned wouldn’t you agree? So it's no big deal and although many say they want local....... Shock horror if you know the person or they're your children's friends parents.
I've spoke to two of here I grew up with after speaking we realised we knew each other one now is a really good mate we do clubs etc but never play the other I've played with Haha "
see lol a ring of truth to my wisdom |
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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago
Nottinghamshire |
"No if I've said no thank u there a reason I've said that so no amount of begging would get me to meet them
Absolutely, I just wondered if this approach had ever worked. No its never worked but sometimes you're discounted on a pretty flimsy reason eg some discount on distance and I know in my case distance means nothing to me and I would always go to them
But it's not flimsy to the person saying no.
Deffo not filmsy for the person saying no it is really all meets have to be planned wouldn’t you agree? So it's no big deal and although many say they want local....... Shock horror if you know the person or they're your children's friends parents.
I've spoke to two of here I grew up with after speaking we realised we knew each other one now is a really good mate we do clubs etc but never play the other I've played with Haha see lol a ring of truth to my wisdom "
Yes it is abit is shock horror we all come from same village to |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No if I've said no thank u there a reason I've said that so no amount of begging would get me to meet them
Absolutely, I just wondered if this approach had ever worked. No its never worked but sometimes you're discounted on a pretty flimsy reason eg some discount on distance and I know in my case distance means nothing to me and I would always go to them
But it's not flimsy to the person saying no.
Deffo not filmsy for the person saying no it is really all meets have to be planned wouldn’t you agree? So it's no big deal and although many say they want local....... Shock horror if you know the person or they're your children's friends parents.
I've spoke to two of here I grew up with after speaking we realised we knew each other one now is a really good mate we do clubs etc but never play the other I've played with Haha see lol a ring of truth to my wisdom
Yes it is abit is shock horror we all come from same village to "
Well luckily you can laugh about said encounters |
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"I never chase on purpose but awkward thing is if a lady never replied and you send them another message you get a reminder..
If she says no thanks so you leave her alone and forget her, if down the line you see a totally different pic and therefore think you’re sending a first message again there’s no way of knowing, so you send it, get a reply, try to apologise and find yourself blocked
It’s awkward but at least it stops there lol
Best way to stop this is if someone says no block them so this doesn't happen. "
Seriously, and this is going to sound sarcastic, but I do mean it, that’s a brilliant idea, I would be paranoid about blocking someone but on reflection, they would never know unless they changed their mind.... but think we have already covered the chances of that, so tough if they do... that’s how I will save the embarrassment of accidentally second messaging a polite no in the future..
Thanks again!!!! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I never chase on purpose but awkward thing is if a lady never replied and you send them another message you get a reminder..
If she says no thanks so you leave her alone and forget her, if down the line you see a totally different pic and therefore think you’re sending a first message again there’s no way of knowing, so you send it, get a reply, try to apologise and find yourself blocked
It’s awkward but at least it stops there lol
Best way to stop this is if someone says no block them so this doesn't happen.
Seriously, and this is going to sound sarcastic, but I do mean it, that’s a brilliant idea, I would be paranoid about blocking someone but on reflection, they would never know unless they changed their mind.... but think we have already covered the chances of that, so tough if they do... that’s how I will save the embarrassment of accidentally second messaging a polite no in the future..
Thanks again!!!! Xx"
It's what I do as it saves more disappointment. One couple used to send the same message every couple of weeks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I know I won't meet someone ever - then I reply with no thanks. Otherwise I read and delete the message. If they've read the profile they'll know it is not a no for ever, just for the time they've messaged.
So there will be a time when I'll say a yes to someone after saying a no initially. |
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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago
Nottinghamshire |
"I've given in to with people I've met before, but not with a stranger - and certainly not to aggression"
Given in to ppl u met before thsts odd u tend to know if u like to see them again when u meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've given in to with people I've met before, but not with a stranger - and certainly not to aggression
Given in to ppl u met before thsts odd u tend to know if u like to see them again when u meet "
It was more like it wasn't really convenient or I couldn't be arsed, but they were persistent and ...
well, yeah, it happened
Soft touch me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What words do people actually use? 3 words "no thank you"? I find that abrupt.
I have told people off for being rude when I've said no, and the absolute majority have apologised. Many I've chatted to a bit and they are normal human beings, just frustrated and/ or sad at no replies.
I haven't met them but we have usually 'cleared the air' and they wish me well. |
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By *at1Man
over a year ago
bedford |
Have meet someone in the club and we played. Thereafter, exchange fab username and phone number, only for me to discovered that she was one of those that said "no thank you" before I ran into her at the club hahaha you should see the length of the apologies text  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thing is, most assume it’s a sex site and therefor, looks etc just don’t come in to it, so when they get a “no thanks” reply, they’re a bit baffled by then get a little angry. |
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"Thing is, most assume it’s a sex site and therefor, looks etc just don’t come in to it, so when they get a “no thanks” reply, they’re a bit baffled by then get a little angry."
But sex still involves consent, attraction, etc.
It's not "Fab I'll spread my legs for any tosser have at it" |
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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
"Thing is, most assume it’s a sex site and therefor, looks etc just don’t come in to it, so when they get a “no thanks” reply, they’re a bit baffled by then get a little angry.
But sex still involves consent, attraction, etc.
It's not "Fab I'll spread my legs for any tosser have at it" "
Apologies for responding to you directly.
No sane person thinks that - it’s the equivalent of “all women want it” and we know where that leads
Anyway, sorry again |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Another thread which can be summed up as “loads of men want me and I love telling them no thanks”
It’s the equivalent of “why can’t I get any meets?”
"
Sorry but I think you need to re read this... Did I say it was men? |
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By *at1Man
over a year ago
bedford |
"Thing is, most assume it’s a sex site and therefor, looks etc just don’t come in to it, so when they get a “no thanks” reply, they’re a bit baffled by then get a little angry.
But sex still involves consent, attraction, etc.
It's not "Fab I'll spread my legs for any tosser have at it" "
Attraction can't only happen through text, picture or inbalance half baked truth people put on their profile. |
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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
"Another thread which can be summed up as “loads of men want me and I love telling them no thanks”
It’s the equivalent of “why can’t I get any meets?”
Sorry but I think you need to re read this... Did I say it was men?"
Apologies - “loads of people want me and I love saying no thanks”
Better?
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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
"Thing is, most assume it’s a sex site and therefor, looks etc just don’t come in to it, so when they get a “no thanks” reply, they’re a bit baffled by then get a little angry.
But sex still involves consent, attraction, etc.
It's not "Fab I'll spread my legs for any tosser have at it"
Attraction can't only happen through text, picture or inbalance half baked truth people put on their profile. "
Don’t say that, it’s way too realistic and sensible |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thing is, most assume it’s a sex site and therefor, looks etc just don’t come in to it, so when they get a “no thanks” reply, they’re a bit baffled by then get a little angry.
But sex still involves consent, attraction, etc.
It's not "Fab I'll spread my legs for any tosser have at it" "
most of us know this but from experience, guys aren’t interested in looks and attraction they just wanna blow their load and don’t care how they go about to get it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Another thread which can be summed up as “loads of men want me and I love telling them no thanks”
It’s the equivalent of “why can’t I get any meets?”
Sorry but I think you need to re read this... Did I say it was men?
Apologies - “loads of people want me and I love saying no thanks”
Better?
"
Why are you being so confrontational?
At no point have I said this. Did I say I love saying no thank you? Did I say loads of people what me?
I asked a question you being personal is not necessarily. It's perfectly possible to disagree without being personal. |
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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
"Thing is, most assume it’s a sex site and therefor, looks etc just don’t come in to it, so when they get a “no thanks” reply, they’re a bit baffled by then get a little angry.
But sex still involves consent, attraction, etc.
It's not "Fab I'll spread my legs for any tosser have at it"
most of us know this but from experience, guys aren’t interested in looks and attraction they just wanna blow their load and don’t care how they go about to get it."
Simply not true |
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By *at1Man
over a year ago
bedford |
"Thing is, most assume it’s a sex site and therefor, looks etc just don’t come in to it, so when they get a “no thanks” reply, they’re a bit baffled by then get a little angry.
But sex still involves consent, attraction, etc.
It's not "Fab I'll spread my legs for any tosser have at it"
Attraction can't only happen through text, picture or inbalance half baked truth people put on their profile.
Don’t say that, it’s way too realistic and sensible "
|
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By *at1Man
over a year ago
bedford |
"Thing is, most assume it’s a sex site and therefor, looks etc just don’t come in to it, so when they get a “no thanks” reply, they’re a bit baffled by then get a little angry.
But sex still involves consent, attraction, etc.
It's not "Fab I'll spread my legs for any tosser have at it"
most of us know this but from experience, guys aren’t interested in looks and attraction they just wanna blow their load and don’t care how they go about to get it."
I don't agree with you on this sorry |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thing is, most assume it’s a sex site and therefor, looks etc just don’t come in to it, so when they get a “no thanks” reply, they’re a bit baffled by then get a little angry."
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No thank you, no reply to a message, a wink or friend request ignored are all obviously clearly saying I don’t fancy you. Why do people expect a reply, or anything when they send a message. It’s a sex site if the person doesn’t fancy you why should they reply?
Would you chat to a weirdo in a pub if they tapped you on the shoulder and asked for a shag? |
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This thread amounts to, we try to do what people say is the right thing and are often abused for it. We can't win.
No one said anything about quantity of messages, and if I recall correctly the OP is in a relationship and is mostly/ entirely here for the forum anyway. So it could have been a single message in a month or more. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Anyway back to my OP...
Has this approach ever worked?
On my end, it's a block if they try. "
Same here. But from a few posts it seems to have done the trick. |
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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago
Nottinghamshire |
"Anyway back to my OP...
Has this approach ever worked? "
Woukd you be 100 percent into meeting a person that persuaded u to meet after saying no
The question would lie with why you said no in the first place |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"Another thread which can be summed up as “loads of men want me and I love telling them no thanks”
It’s the equivalent of “why can’t I get any meets?”
"
Blimey! Where did that come from? That’s not what was being said at all.
Lorna I say no thank you and overwhelming people respond with a thank you for replying message. What I do think though is that the ones around early doors are a different bunch. They have predominantly looking for sex right now and dirty chat, cam etc. It’s not the best time to respond in my opinion but either way, it shouldn’t be difficult for adults to accept a no thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Anyway back to my OP...
Has this approach ever worked?
Woukd you be 100 percent into meeting a person that persuaded u to meet after saying no
The question would lie with why you said no in the first place "
Exactly but I was just wondering if people have changed their mind and it appears that some have.
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By *rReyMan
over a year ago
Fleet |
"Iv had a few of these in the last hour. I just wondered what they think is going to happen when they get rude but still say they want to meet.
So my question is has anyone ever met someone they said no to but after a lot of begging said... Oh go on then! "
Because the already built up the moment and whole scenario in their head, setting their expectations high. So when the no comes it's a big blow to them.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have meet someone in the club and we played. Thereafter, exchange fab username and phone number, only for me to discovered that she was one of those that said "no thank you" before I ran into her at the club hahaha you should see the length of the apologies text "
People can be different when you meet in person. Sometimes messages can seem abrupt without seeing the cheeky grin that's behind it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had someone calling me scum as I didn't reply to them and that I should've deleted their message.
I guessed if I don't reply then there's no interest etc.
He kept messaging me saying delete my message, you're scum for not replying to me.
Wow, a bit of an over reaction.
Just another added to my block list x |
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"Have meet someone in the club and we played. Thereafter, exchange fab username and phone number, only for me to discovered that she was one of those that said "no thank you" before I ran into her at the club hahaha you should see the length of the apologies text
People can be different when you meet in person. Sometimes messages can seem abrupt without seeing the cheeky grin that's behind it. "
I don't see why anyone should apologise for not being interested... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If a person male or female said no repeatedly, but the other person kept going on, why would they continue the messaging and not block? Unless they were getting a kick out of it, maybe a power thing.
On the flip side if they give in and said yes, how mentally weak is that?
If you can't stick by your decisions in cyber world, then you must be getting walked all over in real life.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a person male or female said no repeatedly, but the other person kept going on, why would they continue the messaging and not block? Unless they were getting a kick out of it, maybe a power thing.
On the flip side if they give in and said yes, how mentally weak is that?
If you can't stick by your decisions in cyber world, then you must be getting walked all over in real life.
"
I don’t think anyone has ever gave in and said yes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have meet someone in the club and we played. Thereafter, exchange fab username and phone number, only for me to discovered that she was one of those that said "no thank you" before I ran into her at the club hahaha you should see the length of the apologies text
People can be different when you meet in person. Sometimes messages can seem abrupt without seeing the cheeky grin that's behind it.
I don't see why anyone should apologise for not being interested... "
He didn't say he forced her to apologise. Perhaps she's a nice person and apologised for that reason. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thing is, most assume it’s a sex site and therefor, looks etc just don’t come in to it, so when they get a “no thanks” reply, they’re a bit baffled by then get a little angry.
But sex still involves consent, attraction, etc.
It's not "Fab I'll spread my legs for any tosser have at it"
most of us know this but from experience, guys aren’t interested in looks and attraction they just wanna blow their load and don’t care how they go about to get it.
Simply not true "
Im afraid it is true
Ive had quite a few guys admit it to me
And many messages last night, asking me to meet them immediately
Not one of them had a clue what I look like |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Fancy getting banged....
No thankyou.....
Hahahaha, I wasn't interested anyway you'll be lucky ...
Errrr ok....
And that's a friendly msg.....
"
But could you ever be persuaded? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fancy getting banged....
No thankyou.....
Hahahaha, I wasn't interested anyway you'll be lucky ...
Errrr ok....
And that's a friendly msg.....
"
Haven't you got a lovely face |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In the time that i have been have I've probably had two or three people who have been upset.... I usually get thanks for the reply "
That has often been the case for me too but I was just interested to see if anyone had changed their mind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Iv had a few of these in the last hour. I just wondered what they think is going to happen when they get rude but still say they want to meet.
So my question is has anyone ever met someone they said no to but after a lot of begging said... Oh go on then! "
It’s the whole cave man ego OP, majority on here can not handle rejection. So sad  |
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"Fancy getting banged....
No thankyou.....
Hahahaha, I wasn't interested anyway you'll be lucky ...
Errrr ok....
And that's a friendly msg.....
But could you ever be persuaded? "
This is my opinion but it's like some guys, yes guys because I'm straight so women don't msg me......go through a list of names sending these MSG's and hope one will fall for the charm....if you don't then god help you, they have to reply to the rejection with a comment that will make them feel less of a douche..... |
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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago
Nottinghamshire |
"In the time that i have been have I've probably had two or three people who have been upset.... I usually get thanks for the reply
That has often been the case for me too but I was just interested to see if anyone had changed their mind. "
Are u interested in it for a reason are u thinking of changing your mind ?
And wondering what the outcome will be as no two situations are the same it could be a good thing or bad only you will know |
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"Another thread which can be summed up as “loads of men want me and I love telling them no thanks”
It’s the equivalent of “why can’t I get any meets?”
"
I'm not sure how you extrapolated that from what was actually written.
I think what a lot of people don't "get" is that undesirable is undesirable.
Doesn't matter how good you think your profile and pictures are, it could be an award winning profile, if I don't fancy you, I don't fancy you.
I might not reply and I'll most likely block to save the whining and inevitable abuse.
|
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"Anyway back to my OP...
Has this approach ever worked?
Woukd you be 100 percent into meeting a person that persuaded u to meet after saying no
The question would lie with why you said no in Pthe first place "
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I can understand people changing their mind after an initial rejection if a polite response was received to that rejection and then at a later date you started to see that person in a different light - but if someone is persistent and rude to an initial rejection, unless they completely change their ways and apologise for having been an arse and show over a period of time they have changed, then I really don't see why that initial rejection would change. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We usually get a “why?” After we’ve politely said no thank you . To be fair, it’s normally down to one of two things, distance or they haven’t read our profile, so aren’t what we are looking for ..after we list the reasons why not , it’s usually a block or a torrent of abuse.
Water off a ducks bavk now a days |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We usually get a “why?” After we’ve politely said no thank you . To be fair, it’s normally down to one of two things, distance or they haven’t read our profile, so aren’t what we are looking for ..after we list the reasons why not , it’s usually a block or a torrent of abuse.
Water off a ducks bavk now a days "
What's what I was thinking has a conversation ever sparked after the "why" message that has lead to a meet. A couple of people have said it had. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We usually get a “why?” After we’ve politely said no thank you . To be fair, it’s normally down to one of two things, distance or they haven’t read our profile, so aren’t what we are looking for ..after we list the reasons why not , it’s usually a block or a torrent of abuse.
Water off a ducks bavk now a days
What's what I was thinking has a conversation ever sparked after the "why" message that has lead to a meet. A couple of people have said it had. "
Depends how persuasive you are I've turned negatives into positives before |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I used to send messages saying no thank you. A few got quite abusive. Now I just block if they are not what I'm looking for  "
me to its the only way, I'm beating them off with a stick |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"I can understand people changing their mind after an initial rejection if a polite response was received to that rejection and then at a later date you started to see that person in a different light - but if someone is persistent and rude to an initial rejection, unless they completely change their ways and apologise for having been an arse and show over a period of time they have changed, then I really don't see why that initial rejection would change."
I agree with this. Some people can surprise you for the better if you give them a chance on here and out there in the physical world.
Just like how a first message can give a huge great impression but the social (or meet) ends up being far from what was initially thought. I'm always willing to chat to people, see if there is more to them that I don't see initially.
Granted for women I get it, I've seen some of the messages, and responses that you have to put up with. Had a few myself from some gay and bi men who push for the attention and are persistent. Never turned nasty after a no though.
I just never fully close the doors on friendly and respectful people for chance that anything comes from it.
As for the men only want to blow their load. A bit of a sweeping generalisation there, as anyone who has had a chat with me knows that yes I can chat while being sexually flirty but in no way do I come across as "let's fuck and I'll forget all about you once it's over". I'm sure I'm far from the only guy who is here for more than sex and go.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We usually get a “why?” After we’ve politely said no thank you . To be fair, it’s normally down to one of two things, distance or they haven’t read our profile, so aren’t what we are looking for ..after we list the reasons why not , it’s usually a block or a torrent of abuse.
Water off a ducks bavk now a days
What's what I was thinking has a conversation ever sparked after the "why" message that has lead to a meet. A couple of people have said it had. Depends how persuasive you are I've turned negatives into positives before "
Wouldn’t work with us. If someone can’t be bothered to spend a minute reading a profile before messaging to see if you’re at least compatible, getting into an argument about it isn’t going to change our minds |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I sometimes say no thank you.. then the tennis starts..
"Can i ask why"
"Why is it a no"
And so it goes on....
So now put not meeting.. and still get asked why..luckily i still have a backbone and a voice.
Please please.. i dont have to give anyone a reason i dont have to justify my actions to anyone.
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"Iv had a few of these in the last hour. I just wondered what they think is going to happen when they get rude but still say they want to meet.
So my question is has anyone ever met someone they said no to but after a lot of begging said... Oh go on then!
"
Yes!
Well, not in the fact I gave in, agreed to meet them.
But bumped into them, been introduced to them at group socials, clubs.
Quite funny, as I have a photographic memory on certain things.
They tell my their Fab name "oh yeah, I blocked you X mths ago for sending me 'blah blah blah'
Watching them squirm, deny it, make excuses.
Find them on my block list, check private notes
Yep... Look there it is
It has happened dozens of times, I'm sure it'll happen dozens more
 |
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Replying with a “no thanks” often opens the lines of communication and leads to further messages that are wasting the time of both parties.
That or you get abuse.
Some men see it as rude if you read and delete but personally I couldn’t care less. |
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"Iv had a few of these in the last hour. I just wondered what they think is going to happen when they get rude but still say they want to meet.
So my question is has anyone ever met someone they said no to but after a lot of begging said... Oh go on then!
Yes!
Well, not in the fact I gave in, agreed to meet them.
But bumped into them, been introduced to them at group socials, clubs.
Quite funny, as I have a photographic memory on certain things.
They tell my their Fab name "oh yeah, I blocked you X mths ago for sending me 'blah blah blah'
Watching them squirm, deny it, make excuses.
Find them on my block list, check private notes
Yep... Look there it is
It has happened dozens of times, I'm sure it'll happen dozens more
"
 |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"
As for the men only want to blow their load. A bit of a sweeping generalisation there, as anyone who has had a chat with me knows that yes I can chat while being sexually flirty but in no way do I come across as "let's fuck and I'll forget all about you once it's over". I'm sure I'm far from the only guy who is here for more than sex and go.
"
I don't think anyone has suggested that that statement was levelled at *all* men - and for sure there are plenty of decent guys for whom it's a lot more than that BUT the kind of user who sends abuse in response to a polite rejection IS likely going to fall into that category which is what was being suggested, or at least that's the way I took it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I used to send messages saying no thank you. A few got quite abusive. Now I just block if they are not what I'm looking for "
Me too. So much easier. Avoids all hassle. |
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"Iv had a few of these in the last hour. I just wondered what they think is going to happen when they get rude but still say they want to meet.
So my question is has anyone ever met someone they said no to but after a lot of begging said... Oh go on then! "
I have sent a new cock pic every day for 2 years, I would write the date on my cock and send it off. 700 cock pics later, I think I am getting somewhere as I got a message back last week “FFS” which as everyone knows stands for “Fanks For Sending” |
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"Iv had a few of these in the last hour. I just wondered what they think is going to happen when they get rude but still say they want to meet.
So my question is has anyone ever met someone they said no to but after a lot of begging said... Oh go on then!
I have sent a new cock pic every day for 2 years, I would write the date on my cock and send it off. 700 cock pics later, I think I am getting somewhere as I got a message back last week “FFS” which as everyone knows stands for “Fanks For Sending”"
I appreciate these in box everyday |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"
As for the men only want to blow their load. A bit of a sweeping generalisation there, as anyone who has had a chat with me knows that yes I can chat while being sexually flirty but in no way do I come across as "let's fuck and I'll forget all about you once it's over". I'm sure I'm far from the only guy who is here for more than sex and go.
I don't think anyone has suggested that that statement was levelled at *all* men - and for sure there are plenty of decent guys for whom it's a lot more than that BUT the kind of user who sends abuse in response to a polite rejection IS likely going to fall into that category which is what was being suggested, or at least that's the way I took it."
It may not have been the intent, and while yes generally it's not hard to assume it was targeted at the abusive crowd - it should also be worded better. All it takes is a single word, "some" to turn that statement around. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I used to send messages saying no thank you. A few got quite abusive. Now I just block if they are not what I'm looking for
Me too. So much easier. Avoids all hassle.
"
We send that.
But, we have had a few abusive ones back...
“Why? Am I too ugly, fat, etc?”
Or
“Oh, come one. I/we can show you how good we are”
Now we just delete message, block user(s)... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I never chase on purpose but awkward thing is if a lady never replied and you send them another message you get a reminder..
If she says no thanks so you leave her alone and forget her, if down the line you see a totally different pic and therefore think you’re sending a first message again there’s no way of knowing, so you send it, get a reply, try to apologise and find yourself blocked
It’s awkward but at least it stops there lol"
Use the private notes function and make a note on their profile that they aren't interested.
It should also tell you when you look at their profile if you've already messaged them previously.
The tools are there, you just need to use them
P |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"
As for the men only want to blow their load. A bit of a sweeping generalisation there, as anyone who has had a chat with me knows that yes I can chat while being sexually flirty but in no way do I come across as "let's fuck and I'll forget all about you once it's over". I'm sure I'm far from the only guy who is here for more than sex and go.
I don't think anyone has suggested that that statement was levelled at *all* men - and for sure there are plenty of decent guys for whom it's a lot more than that BUT the kind of user who sends abuse in response to a polite rejection IS likely going to fall into that category which is what was being suggested, or at least that's the way I took it.
It may not have been the intent, and while yes generally it's not hard to assume it was targeted at the abusive crowd - it should also be worded better. All it takes is a single word, "some" to turn that statement around."
To be honest I think you're unnecessarily nit picking at one post which as you yourself have said wasn't hard to "assume it was targeted at the abusive crowd" - I certainly didn't take any offence to it and am sure any other decent right thinking guy wouldn't either |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"Shows the real personality and not the facade they pretend they are. Stay clear.
Exactly this once they get rude you know that's the real them and I am happy to not have wasted anymore time getting to try and know them.
Only one guy who came back a week after being rude I have continued to speak to as both of us were having a bad day when we first spoke we haven't met tho. The rest were just rude cockwombles who ended up blocked.
Oh that's interesting, so you gave him another chance. So I guess sometimes it does get resolved. "
If I'm honest I had forgotten to block him. Lol but we had a laugh about it after. Turns out we were both in crappy form that night. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It may depend on the reason for the no thanks, I don't sent meet request messages as I don't want to meet from this profile, but if I got a "no thanks, I don't have time at the moment" I could send a follow up in a few months time, or if it's the usual "ARRGH you are one ugly dude" then I probably wouldn't respond |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I dont know.. it's usually men, male couples, bi couples or.. experienced couples that'll respond in that way with me.
Women tend to react much more positively.. to the point I've had some quite interesting, post rejection conversations.
Just because there isn't a sexual attraction, doesn't mean I/she/we can't be friendly.
I don't get upset about rejection, I laugh about it. There is a funny side to opening up, swallowing your pride and letting your feeling be known.. and then having it backfire and thrown back in your face. Lighten up, its Online Fuckery.
Misfortune is funny, provided nobody is seriously hurt. People need to chill the fuck out and accept the fact that most people are looking for something quite specific. Chances are it won't be you! You won't know unless you ask, so ask positively and hopefully, but bear in mind it's a probable no before you start. Come down off that pedestal you've placed yourself on.. and get used to the idea that you're not god's gift, no matter how many times mummy said you were. |
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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago
Nottinghamshire |
"I dont know.. it's usually men, male couples, bi couples or.. experienced couples that'll respond in that way with me.
Women tend to react much more positively.. to the point I've had some quite interesting, post rejection conversations.
Just because there isn't a sexual attraction, doesn't mean I/she/we can't be friendly.
I don't get upset about rejection, I laugh about it. There is a funny side to opening up, swallowing your pride and letting your feeling be known.. and then having it backfire and thrown back in your face. Lighten up, its Online Fuckery.
Misfortune is funny, provided nobody is seriously hurt. People need to chill the fuck out and accept the fact that most people are looking for something quite specific. Chances are it won't be you! You won't know unless you ask, so ask positively and hopefully, but bear in mind it's a probable no before you start. Come down off that pedestal you've placed yourself on.. and get used to the idea that you're not god's gift, no matter how many times mummy said you were."
This made me laugh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"and get used to the idea that you're not god's gift, no matter how many times mummy said you were."
That gods gift bloke was apparently conceived without an orgasm for either party, so wouldn't be much use on here |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"I dont know.. it's usually men, male couples, bi couples or.. experienced couples that'll respond in that way with me.
Women tend to react much more positively.. to the point I've had some quite interesting, post rejection conversations.
Just because there isn't a sexual attraction, doesn't mean I/she/we can't be friendly.
I don't get upset about rejection, I laugh about it. There is a funny side to opening up, swallowing your pride and letting your feeling be known.. and then having it backfire and thrown back in your face. Lighten up, its Online Fuckery.
Misfortune is funny, provided nobody is seriously hurt. People need to chill the fuck out and accept the fact that most people are looking for something quite specific. Chances are it won't be you! You won't know unless you ask, so ask positively and hopefully, but bear in mind it's a probable no before you start. Come down off that pedestal you've placed yourself on.. and get used to the idea that you're not god's gift, no matter how many times mummy said you were."
|
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"I never chase on purpose but awkward thing is if a lady never replied and you send them another message you get a reminder..
If she says no thanks so you leave her alone and forget her, if down the line you see a totally different pic and therefore think you’re sending a first message again there’s no way of knowing, so you send it, get a reply, try to apologise and find yourself blocked
It’s awkward but at least it stops there lol"
Try reading the words. |
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"I never chase on purpose but awkward thing is if a lady never replied and you send them another message you get a reminder..
If she says no thanks so you leave her alone and forget her, if down the line you see a totally different pic and therefore think you’re sending a first message again there’s no way of knowing, so you send it, get a reply, try to apologise and find yourself blocked
It’s awkward but at least it stops there lol
Try reading the words. "
On those rare occasions I message someone, if I get a no thanks I'll block them.
That way I can never message them again.
Tools.......
|
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By *udemattMan
over a year ago
Woodhall Spa |
I do like it when someone takes the time to send a no thank you so I always reply thanking them for letting me know. You never know that in the future the reason for rejection on that day might not be the same and they remember that you where respectful?
I also like when my message gets deleted so that I know that it's a no, its when it's just read and nothing I start thinking are they interested but not got the time to reply? Deep down I kind of know it's a no, but there is a bit of me that holds out hope. |
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