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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I’m off sick from work and feeling sorry for myself.
Can someone cheer me up please?
Cringe chat up lines or funny/embarrassing sexual stories more than welcome! "
Did you sleep with your brother? How sick are you? Lol
Big hugs, hope you feel better soon xo |
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"So I’m off sick from work and feeling sorry for myself.
Can someone cheer me up please?
Cringe chat up lines or funny/embarrassing sexual stories more than welcome!
Did you sleep with your brother? How sick are you? Lol
Big hugs, hope you feel better soon xo"
Hhaha I’m an only child! Thanks babe x |
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"Are you wearing Christian Louboutin shoes in you 14th March picture?
I certainly am  
Lush...
Do you want to go out on a date when you're feeling better? "
Do you just want me for my taste in heels?! |
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"Are you wearing Christian Louboutin shoes in you 14th March picture?
I certainly am
Lush...
Do you want to go out on a date when you're feeling better?
Do you just want me for my taste in heels?! "
And for your en-flique eyebrows and gorgeous dark hair  x |
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Archeologists recently found a tomb in Egypt that's never been opened in nearly 3000 years.
They found sacred ornaments, jewellry but the most important find was chocolate and nuts perfectly preserved.
Turns out it was the tomb of Pharoah Rocher |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So I’m off sick from work and feeling sorry for myself.
Can someone cheer me up please?
Cringe chat up lines or funny/embarrassing sexual stories more than welcome! "
First of all, you are beautiful! Not only pretty but stunningly hot too 
I know your profile says you are not meeting at the moment so somebody might be going in the hotlist for now
A young priest is taking over confession and a woman enters.
"Forgive me father for I have sinned. Last night I had oral sex with my boyfriend"
The young priest scratches his head unsure how many hail Mary's oral sex is worth. So he leans out of the booth and sees an old lady cleaning the floor
"how much does father give for a blowjob?"
"A tenner if I take my teeth out"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So I’m off sick from work and feeling sorry for myself.
Can someone cheer me up please?
Cringe chat up lines or funny/embarrassing sexual stories more than welcome! "
Get well soon.
I cocked up at work. A announcement went out to the public. Lets just say bristol is now prissy temple meads lol |
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By *odkajemWoman
over a year ago
Liverpool |
On the same night out I got these two chat up lines
"I bet you're a right dirty bitch aren't you"
And
"I want to ch oke fuck you"
I'd like to add this was in a student shit hole dive bar, not a club or summat! Jeebles!!! 
(fab won't allow the word c h o k e in one ) |
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get well soon 
Why are pirates called pirates? Because they ARRRRRRR!
Hope your feeling better soon