FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Animal DEATHmatch

Animal DEATHmatch

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I've done this thread before but I love it, so here it is again..

For maximum reputation points alone.. What animal do you HONESTLY think you could take on, hand to claw.. in a fight to the death?

The Arena.. A singular football field, no goalposts or net. Edge of pitch is a cliff into the void. If picking a shark.. or something else aquatic.. you'll both be dropped in a half pool half pitch. Dont be a clever dick and just play it how its meant to be played.

No mamby pamby answers.. like "I wuv animaws".. Go take your head off a shit, this is "Animal deathmatch".

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

ps.. animal knows the rules as well. Its coming for you straight off the bat.. even if you did pick a hedgehog.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can't even squash a spider!!

I do however wish to stay alive so if a koala came at me I reckon I could take it

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I can't even squash a spider!!

I do however wish to stay alive so if a koala came at me I reckon I could take it

They're not very pleasant things to try and pick up you know

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I can't even squash a spider!!

I do however wish to stay alive so if a koala came at me I reckon I could take it

They're not very pleasant things to try and pick up you know

make an ungodly noise

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Hamster...mean little bitey bastards but I think I could take one down.

Different story of they tag teamed though....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A fly

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hamster...mean little bitey bastards but I think I could take one down.

Different story of they tag teamed though...."

Oh dear

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A fly

harder to kill than a hamster I guess

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By *parkle1974Woman over a year ago

Leeds

A ladybird

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Polar bears 3 this time

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’d take on that vicious and ferocious animal called a woman. Only if you clipped it’s nails first though and if wasn’t ‘on’

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A ladybird "

ffs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I reckon a could take a pigeon...if I got a chance I'd boot it really hard in the head.

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

I'm giving this serious thought, I'll be back

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Polar bears 3 this time

I admire your courage and although you're getting torn to shreds.. I give you rep points for going out in style.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’d take on that vicious and ferocious animal called a woman. Only if you clipped it’s nails first though and if wasn’t ‘on’

I dont fancy your chances mate. Max rep points if you win though.

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

"I've done this thread before but I love it, so here it is again..

For maximum reputation points alone.. What animal do you HONESTLY think you could take on, hand to claw.. in a fight to the death?

No mamby pamby answers.. like "I wuv animaws".. Go take your head off a shit, this is "Animal deathmatch".

Christ... no weapons at all, not even a knife in response to their teeth and claws?

Ok, in that case, maybe a small wolf, wild dog, or one of the smaller wimpier "big cats" like a cheetah, or perhaps a mountain lion, if I got lucky.

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"I've done this thread before but I love it, so here it is again..

For maximum reputation points alone.. What animal do you HONESTLY think you could take on, hand to claw.. in a fight to the death?

No mamby pamby answers.. like "I wuv animaws".. Go take your head off a shit, this is "Animal deathmatch".

What about you Ghengis, I'm imagining a Emu or maybe an Ostrich...

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By *ensualbicockMan over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

A Cobra

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By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Liverpool

A sloth. Those claws are deadly but I think I could out manoeuvre it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I reckon a could take a pigeon...if I got a chance I'd boot it really hard in the head. "

If not.. its be a long fight. It could peck your eyes out when you get bored and tired of trying to catch it.

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"A fly

harder to kill than a hamster I guess"

She's been swatting up on her answers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I reckon a could take a pigeon...if I got a chance I'd boot it really hard in the head.

If not.. its be a long fight. It could peck your eyes out when you get bored and tired of trying to catch it. "

Fucking pigeons going for my eyes! I'd wait and play dead then bam the old neck pull. Done and victorious

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By *r not quite virginMan over a year ago

rochdale

A sloth. Just pick it up and walk casually to the edge of the void and drop it off lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I've done this thread before but I love it, so here it is again..

For maximum reputation points alone.. What animal do you HONESTLY think you could take on, hand to claw.. in a fight to the death?

No mamby pamby answers.. like "I wuv animaws".. Go take your head off a shit, this is "Animal deathmatch".

Christ... no weapons at all, not even a knife in response to their teeth and claws?

Ok, in that case, maybe a small wolf, wild dog, or one of the smaller wimpier "big cats" like a cheetah, or perhaps a mountain lion, if I got lucky.

I'll give you wolf or wild dog.. I think most full grown adults in kill mode could take on one wild dog.. but it could easily flip the other way. A cheetah? Mountain Lion? Mate!? I wouldn't take on a Lynx or a Bobcat. Those claws frighten the life out of me. Cheetahs dont retract and ardnt as sharp.. but them and cougars are more than capable of killing a human with ease.

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

"I've done this thread before but I love it, so here it is again..

For maximum reputation points alone.. What animal do you HONESTLY think you could take on, hand to claw.. in a fight to the death?

No mamby pamby answers.. like "I wuv animaws".. Go take your head off a shit, this is "Animal deathmatch".

Christ... no weapons at all, not even a knife in response to their teeth and claws?

Ok, in that case, maybe a small wolf, wild dog, or one of the smaller wimpier "big cats" like a cheetah, or perhaps a mountain lion, if I got lucky.

Valid points, but there are documented cases of people fighting off mountain lions and surviving....and I'm going to be no-ones fucking supper lol!

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By *Man1263Man over a year ago

Stockport

Honey Badger

Afterwards means I have a proper hat to wear as well.

As a warm up, just to get the muscles loose, Cobra, well two, as fancy some snake skin shoes to match the alligator tie!

Did I mention the alligator whilst eating breakfast?

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

And... baring in mind they are armed, surely it would be fairer to at least let us have a hunting knife... or even a cricket bat?

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By *Man1263Man over a year ago

Stockport

"And... baring in mind they are armed, surely it would be fairer to at least let us have a hunting knife... or even a cricket bat?"

You have teeth!

Just remember to go for the jugular!

That and sharpen your toe nails into a point!

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By *yrdsisWoman over a year ago

Gleam Street

Have taken on several chickens and rabbits and won so far... without access to weaponry... I'm out... I know what those psycho coos can accomplish!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't reckon a horse would come back if you banged him right in the eye socket but the danger is that he/she rears up and kicks your head down the street first.

I'll stay safe and take out a mule.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I've done this thread before but I love it, so here it is again..

For maximum reputation points alone.. What animal do you HONESTLY think you could take on, hand to claw.. in a fight to the death?

No mamby pamby answers.. like "I wuv animaws".. Go take your head off a shit, this is "Animal deathmatch".

What about you Ghengis, I'm imagining a Emu or maybe an Ostrich..."

Wild Dog/wolf. Anything bigger is likely to be too strong to actually kill with your bare hands. Even if your not in as much perceived danger. You may not have the physical power to kill it. It takes a ion a fair few minutes of brutal strength to overpower a zebra.

Fuck an Ostritch or Emu.. they're like feathery Raptors!

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By *unniebee1970Woman over a year ago

The Hive

A magpie

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

A bull, I'd just stand near to the edge and wave a red flag at it. Job done

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A sloth. Just pick it up and walk casually to the edge of the void and drop it off lol

You do realise the aim of the game is to get as many rep points as possible for going dangerous?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Would you rather face one horse sized duck or 100 duck sized horses

I'd go for the duck sized horses

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm going to say a Tiger, I reckon with fake tan and mascara I could blend in and shoot the bloody thing when its backs turned

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I've done this thread before but I love it, so here it is again..

For maximum reputation points alone.. What animal do you HONESTLY think you could take on, hand to claw.. in a fight to the death?

No mamby pamby answers.. like "I wuv animaws".. Go take your head off a shit, this is "Animal deathmatch".

Christ... no weapons at all, not even a knife in response to their teeth and claws?

Ok, in that case, maybe a small wolf, wild dog, or one of the smaller wimpier "big cats" like a cheetah, or perhaps a mountain lion, if I got lucky.

Valid points, but there are documented cases of people fighting off mountain lions and surviving....and I'm going to be no-ones fucking supper lol!"

Documented accounts of people killing them bare handed though?

There was a 10yr of boy in Myanmar who saved himself from a Royal Burmese Python by chewing through its neck as it tried to do its thing.

Max Rep points.. new nickname: Mowgli

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Kermit. That frog is goin' down!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A magpie "
Their easy to beat have you not seen a Newcastle United match

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"Would you rather face one horse sized duck or 100 duck sized horses

I'd go for the duck sized horses"

What the hell are they going to do? Neigh you to death?

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

A frog.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan over a year ago

Okehampton

I would say a bear, If I was allowed both honey and marmalade sandwiches....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Honey Badger

Afterwards means I have a proper hat to wear as well.

As a warm up, just to get the muscles loose, Cobra, well two, as fancy some snake skin shoes to match the alligator tie!

Did I mention the alligator whilst eating breakfast?

You know they fight off lions and hyenas on a daily basis right? Honeybadger may have a new hat methinks. They can turn in on themselves like a cat. Make ungodly noises. Never give up and ard notoriously hard to kill.

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

"Kermit. That frog is goin' down!"

Miss Piggy would hunt you down tho, not worth the risk!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"And... baring in mind they are armed, surely it would be fairer to at least let us have a hunting knife... or even a cricket bat?"

no.. nature versus nature.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A lamb.

Could have it for dinner round at mine after, a big roast?!

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By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Liverpool

[Removed by poster at 08/07/19 19:49:07]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Have taken on several chickens and rabbits and won so far... without access to weaponry... I'm out... I know what those psycho coos can accomplish!"

you killed wabbits with your bard hands

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"A magpie Their easy to beat have you not seen a Newcastle United match

Lol

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"A sloth. Just pick it up and walk casually to the edge of the void and drop it off lol

You do realise the aim of the game is to get as many rep points as possible for going dangerous?"

To be fair, you didn't say that in your original post.

The rep point thing came in later.

I'm still going with hamster tho

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By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Liverpool

"And... baring in mind they are armed, surely it would be fairer to at least let us have a hunting knife... or even a cricket bat?"

They are no more armed than you really. You have teeth, and "claws" and "powerful" limbs. Theirs are just more honed and effective.

That is the whole point is it not?

Man vs beast naturally.

Man's natural defense against beasts is our brain and intelligence. Think fast!

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By *bwplaydateMan over a year ago

Newcastle and travel/hotel

A human being - the documentaries on them make them all look feeble and cowardly.

Especially that one on bbc 1, eastenders.

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By *iamondCougarWoman over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

I prefer an equal sparing partner ..... so I’d have to chose my equal and say a cougar. I’m sure the snarling and claw fighting would be pretty horrific but I’d give as good as I get.

Hopefully I’d get close enough to blind it with sparkling diamonds and stran gle it with my signature collar

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm going to say a Tiger, I reckon with fake tan and mascara I could blend in and shoot the bloody thing when its backs turned

"
can I just clarify when I said shoot it I meant with Hair bobbles till it backed of over the cliff edge

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don't reckon a horse would come back if you banged him right in the eye socket but the danger is that he/she rears up and kicks your head down the street first.

I'll stay safe and take out a mule."

Itd be interesting. The Ghengis Khans mongol horde rode small ponies, but are the hardest of all the equine breeds.

A mule still has a thunderous kick capable of breaking your leg. How do you actually kill it though? Supposing you do knock it down? Thatz a big airway with tonnes of muscle to restrict.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A magpie "

No chance

Clever little bastards.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A bull, I'd just stand near to the edge and wave a red flag at it. Job done

and hope you step the right direction

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm going to say a Tiger, I reckon with fake tan and mascara I could blend in and shoot the bloody thing when its backs turned

no weapons

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Kermit. That frog is goin' down!"

no rep points for killing a stuffed celebrity.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Kermit. That frog is goin' down!

Miss Piggy would hunt you down tho, not worth the risk!

I will refer you to Roald Dahl's attitude towards the three little pigs!

I do like a crispy bacon sandwich!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A frog."

what kind? could salvage a few rep points.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Kermit. That frog is goin' down!

no rep points for killing a stuffed celebrity."

I dont care for points.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm going to say a Tiger, I reckon with fake tan and mascara I could blend in and shoot the bloody thing when its backs turned

no weapons "
I did clarify hair bobbles , are they a weapon if so can I change my animal to a bearded dragon

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By *ickyRoosterMan over a year ago

Uppendown

A bee. A big eff off bumble bee mind. Sounds easy but those big furry buzzy fuckers float like a.....bee and sting like a........bee

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"A frog.

what kind? could salvage a few rep points."
Tree frog.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I would say a bear, If I was allowed both honey and marmalade sandwiches...."

Not if its Paddington you sick fuck

Hang on.. Paddington knows the rules and hes very lucky and a dangerously clumsy. You may be on minus rep

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I grew up in the back of beyond, with strange parents, and have been responsible for bringing in 'something for tea' on numerous occasions. I'm not fighting anything bigger than a hen!

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

"And... baring in mind they are armed, surely it would be fairer to at least let us have a hunting knife... or even a cricket bat?

They are no more armed than you really. You have teeth, and "claws" and "powerful" limbs. Theirs are just more honed and effective.

That is the whole point is it not?

Man vs beast naturally.

Man's natural defense against beasts is our brain and intelligence. Think fast!"

Oh boy, you are going down hard if you think we are well-matched against animals!

I've had the misfortune to be attacked by a dog, an Alsation, and trust me it wasn't just trying to give me a nip.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A lamb.

Could have it for dinner round at mine after, a big roast?!

no rep.. but may award you some if it's a tasty roast and I'm invited

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"And... baring in mind they are armed, surely it would be fairer to at least let us have a hunting knife... or even a cricket bat?

They are no more armed than you really. You have teeth, and "claws" and "powerful" limbs. Theirs are just more honed and effective.

That is the whole point is it not?

Man vs beast naturally.

Man's natural defense against beasts is our brain and intelligence. Think fast!"

Spot on that Man.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A human being - the documentaries on them make them all look feeble and cowardly.

Especially that one on bbc 1, eastenders. "

you dont get to choose which human though.. you may get The Rock.

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"A bull, I'd just stand near to the edge and wave a red flag at it. Job done

and hope you step the right direction

Oh yeah, it would go down quicker than an ACME Anvil before the big cloud of dust appears

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I prefer an equal sparing partner ..... so I’d have to chose my equal and say a cougar. I’m sure the snarling and claw fighting would be pretty horrific but I’d give as good as I get.

Hopefully I’d get close enough to blind it with sparkling diamonds and stran gle it with my signature collar

RIP x

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"I don't reckon a horse would come back if you banged him right in the eye socket but the danger is that he/she rears up and kicks your head down the street first.

I'll stay safe and take out a mule.

Itd be interesting. The Ghengis Khans mongol horde rode small ponies, but are the hardest of all the equine breeds.

A mule still has a thunderous kick capable of breaking your leg. How do you actually kill it though? Supposing you do knock it down? Thatz a big airway with tonnes of muscle to restrict."

Sit on its face .. job done

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I prefer an equal sparing partner ..... so I’d have to chose my equal and say a cougar. I’m sure the snarling and claw fighting would be pretty horrific but I’d give as good as I get.

Hopefully I’d get close enough to blind it with sparkling diamonds and stran gle it with my signature collar

RIP x"
But massive rep for going for a perceived equal.. than an easy kill.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Scorpion

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

An ant

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm going to say a Tiger, I reckon with fake tan and mascara I could blend in and shoot the bloody thing when its backs turned

can I just clarify when I said shoot it I meant with Hair bobbles till it backed of over the cliff edge

New rule. You are nekkid.. no clothing of bubbles.. red flags to wave at bulls. No retractable piercings. Your only weapon is your physical power, mental fortitude and knowledge.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Kermit. That frog is goin' down!

no rep points for killing a stuffed celebrity.

I dont care for points."

Neither do I in reality. In reality I dont go round punching wide animals either though x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Polar bears 3 this time

I admire your courage and although you're getting torn to shreds.. I give you rep points for going out in style."
im a viper 1 bite they go down

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A lamb.

Could have it for dinner round at mine after, a big roast?!

no rep.. but may award you some if it's a tasty roast and I'm invited

Bollocks!

I’ll redeem myself in the kitchen, and of course you are.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm going to say a Tiger, I reckon with fake tan and mascara I could blend in and shoot the bloody thing when its backs turned

no weapons I did clarify hair bobbles , are they a weapon if so can I change my animal to a bearded dragon

no.. you're stuck with your tiger.. you can choose the species if you think itll help

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A bee. A big eff off bumble bee mind. Sounds easy but those big furry buzzy fuckers float like a.....bee and sting like a........bee

if youd said wasp I'd be more impressed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A frog.

what kind? could salvage a few rep points. Tree frog."

poisonous one?

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"I'm going to say a Tiger, I reckon with fake tan and mascara I could blend in and shoot the bloody thing when its backs turned

can I just clarify when I said shoot it I meant with Hair bobbles till it backed of over the cliff edge

New rule. You are nekkid.. no clothing of bubbles.. red flags to wave at bulls. No retractable piercings. Your only weapon is your physical power, mental fortitude and knowledge. "

Changing the rules again....

I ain't fighting no hamster nekked, I'm not Richard Gere

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I grew up in the back of beyond, with strange parents, and have been responsible for bringing in 'something for tea' on numerous occasions. I'm not fighting anything bigger than a hen! "

lots of animals the size of a hen can be pretty savage. Is a hen your final answer?

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By *ickyRoosterMan over a year ago

Uppendown

"A bee. A big eff off bumble bee mind. Sounds easy but those big furry buzzy fuckers float like a.....bee and sting like a........bee

if youd said wasp I'd be more impressed."

He can bring all his stripey mates including that big gormless Zebra called Malky. I'll take them all.

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By *oftandGentle2Couple over a year ago

leeds

I could definitely take a bunny rabbit!!! Maybe even a cat if I was REALLY pissed off!!!

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By *r not quite virginMan over a year ago

rochdale

Haha okay then I'll take on a herd of hippos and try my luck

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Haha okay then I'll take on a herd of hippos and try my luck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm going to say a Tiger, I reckon with fake tan and mascara I could blend in and shoot the bloody thing when its backs turned

no weapons I did clarify hair bobbles , are they a weapon if so can I change my animal to a bearded dragon

no.. you're stuck with your tiger.. you can choose the species if you think itll help

"
Ok then I'm going to man up and say Bengal. Ive had Weetabix today bring it on you big orange stripy fucker (That's me trying to sound tough)

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By *acktar74Man over a year ago

leeds

I reckon I could sleeper hold a Panda

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"And... baring in mind they are armed, surely it would be fairer to at least let us have a hunting knife... or even a cricket bat?

They are no more armed than you really. You have teeth, and "claws" and "powerful" limbs. Theirs are just more honed and effective.

That is the whole point is it not?

Man vs beast naturally.

Man's natural defense against beasts is our brain and intelligence. Think fast!

Oh boy, you are going down hard if you think we are well-matched against animals!

I've had the misfortune to be attacked by a dog, an Alsation, and trust me it wasn't just trying to give me a nip.

I did dog handling course in the Army and was run down by a few dogs in the full suit and the leather arm. They bite much much harder in attack mode.

I still pick dog/wolf. I think I'd come off very badly, but I'd win by any number of ways if prepared to absorb a few savage limb bites in the process.. give it a target to distract what my target is.

A cat the same size would be far too athletic and its weaponry far too instantly crippling.

I'm going for rep though. Anything stronger than a dog, like a chimpanzee and you're likely to get battered to death by your own arms.

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

A Foreskin

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A bull, I'd just stand near to the edge and wave a red flag at it. Job done

and hope you step the right direction

Oh yeah, it would go down quicker than an ACME Anvil before the big cloud of dust appears

I'm giving you a 50 50 chance and rep points either way if you're prepared to take those odds. no red flag to wave.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don't reckon a horse would come back if you banged him right in the eye socket but the danger is that he/she rears up and kicks your head down the street first.

I'll stay safe and take out a mule.

Itd be interesting. The Ghengis Khans mongol horde rode small ponies, but are the hardest of all the equine breeds.

A mule still has a thunderous kick capable of breaking your leg. How do you actually kill it though? Supposing you do knock it down? Thatz a big airway with tonnes of muscle to restrict.

Sit on its face .. job done

trying to kill it, not turn it on

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"I'm going to say a Tiger, I reckon with fake tan and mascara I could blend in and shoot the bloody thing when its backs turned

can I just clarify when I said shoot it I meant with Hair bobbles till it backed of over the cliff edge

New rule. You are nekkid.. no red flags to wave at bulls."

Ah bollocks, I'll take on a kangaroo then near the edge again, and drop to the floor just before he's about to kick me. Job done

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Scorpion

what if you cant find it straight away and get sleepy?

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By *iamondCougarWoman over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"I prefer an equal sparing partner ..... so I’d have to chose my equal and say a cougar. I’m sure the snarling and claw fighting would be pretty horrific but I’d give as good as I get.

Hopefully I’d get close enough to blind it with sparkling diamonds and stran gle it with my signature collar

RIP x But massive rep for going for a perceived equal.. than an easy kill."

Easy kill is not my style, all or nothing!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm going to say a Tiger, I reckon with fake tan and mascara I could blend in and shoot the bloody thing when its backs turned

can I just clarify when I said shoot it I meant with Hair bobbles till it backed of over the cliff edge

New rule. You are nekkid.. no clothing of bubbles.. red flags to wave at bulls. No retractable piercings. Your only weapon is your physical power, mental fortitude and knowledge.

Changing the rules again....

I ain't fighting no hamster nekked, I'm not Richard Gere "

because everyone keeps trying to box clever and play without answering the question properly.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I could definitely take a bunny rabbit!!! Maybe even a cat if I was REALLY pissed off!!!

Youd get scratched up by a cat, badly, but youd win I think, so rep points.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Haha okay then I'll take on a herd of hippos and try my luck

Go big or go home, I like it

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

"Haha okay then I'll take on a herd of hippos and try my luck

Hippos kill more people in Africa than crocs and lions combined... you are fucked lol!

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"I'm going to say a Tiger, I reckon with fake tan and mascara I could blend in and shoot the bloody thing when its backs turned

can I just clarify when I said shoot it I meant with Hair bobbles till it backed of over the cliff edge

New rule. You are nekkid.. no clothing of bubbles.. red flags to wave at bulls. No retractable piercings. Your only weapon is your physical power, mental fortitude and knowledge.

Changing the rules again....

I ain't fighting no hamster nekked, I'm not Richard Gere

because everyone keeps trying to box clever and play without answering the question properly."

Oooooh!

And again oooooh!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm going to say a Tiger, I reckon with fake tan and mascara I could blend in and shoot the bloody thing when its backs turned

no weapons I did clarify hair bobbles , are they a weapon if so can I change my animal to a bearded dragon

no.. you're stuck with your tiger.. you can choose the species if you think itll help

Ok then I'm going to man up and say Bengal. Ive had Weetabix today bring it on you big orange stripy fucker (That's me trying to sound tough)

rep points for your "Fuck it gets do this you big story fuck" attitude. but you are very, very dead

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By *iamondCougarWoman over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"I don't reckon a horse would come back if you banged him right in the eye socket but the danger is that he/she rears up and kicks your head down the street first.

I'll stay safe and take out a mule.

Itd be interesting. The Ghengis Khans mongol horde rode small ponies, but are the hardest of all the equine breeds.

A mule still has a thunderous kick capable of breaking your leg. How do you actually kill it though? Supposing you do knock it down? Thatz a big airway with tonnes of muscle to restrict.

Sit on its face .. job done

trying to kill it, not turn it on

Hold its tongue to the right of its mouth .... stop dead in it’s tracks! True!

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By *ensualbicockMan over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

A Giraffe . I'll wear stilts

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I reckon I could sleeper hold a Panda"

I reckon you can't

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"I don't reckon a horse would come back if you banged him right in the eye socket but the danger is that he/she rears up and kicks your head down the street first.

I'll stay safe and take out a mule.

Itd be interesting. The Ghengis Khans mongol horde rode small ponies, but are the hardest of all the equine breeds.

A mule still has a thunderous kick capable of breaking your leg. How do you actually kill it though? Supposing you do knock it down? Thatz a big airway with tonnes of muscle to restrict.

Sit on its face .. job done

trying to kill it, not turn it on

Get it aroused, then str@ngle it with its own dick...

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I don't reckon a horse would come back if you banged him right in the eye socket but the danger is that he/she rears up and kicks your head down the street first.

I'll stay safe and take out a mule.

Itd be interesting. The Ghengis Khans mongol horde rode small ponies, but are the hardest of all the equine breeds.

A mule still has a thunderous kick capable of breaking your leg. How do you actually kill it though? Supposing you do knock it down? Thatz a big airway with tonnes of muscle to restrict.

Sit on its face .. job done

trying to kill it, not turn it on

Get it aroused, then str@ngle it with its own dick...

"
lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't say cassowary, don't say cassowary

I reckon I could take a goat, that's the size of a horse to me!

I'd ride it like a bucking bronco and get it in a sleeper hold.

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By *hloevtTV/TS over a year ago

norwich

Honey badger ! Think I could get the better of one of them , x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/07/19 20:22:22]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The Emperor penguin. Poke in the eye, head lock. Job done

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm going to say a Tiger, I reckon with fake tan and mascara I could blend in and shoot the bloody thing when its backs turned

can I just clarify when I said shoot it I meant with Hair bobbles till it backed of over the cliff edge

New rule. You are nekkid.. no red flags to wave at bulls.

Ah bollocks, I'll take on a kangaroo then near the edge again, and drop to the floor just before he's about to kick me. Job done

I dunno why, but I think both Tigers and kangaroos would be better at not falling over the edge than us

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Haha okay then I'll take on a herd of hippos and try my luck

"
1 is easy i kicked ones ass last game just throw marbles they cant resist eating them and break there teeth

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don't reckon a horse would come back if you banged him right in the eye socket but the danger is that he/she rears up and kicks your head down the street first.

I'll stay safe and take out a mule.

Itd be interesting. The Ghengis Khans mongol horde rode small ponies, but are the hardest of all the equine breeds.

A mule still has a thunderous kick capable of breaking your leg. How do you actually kill it though? Supposing you do knock it down? Thatz a big airway with tonnes of muscle to restrict.

Sit on its face .. job done

trying to kill it, not turn it on

Hold its tongue to the right of its mouth .... stop dead in it’s tracks! True!"

for a horse Lord by name. I dont know enough about them to know if you're billybushitting me or not

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By *ustme34Man over a year ago

Bingley

A Panda . Kung fu style

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A Giraffe . I'll wear stilts"

I'll use you as a golf ball.. have you seen them fight

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By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

"A lamb.

Could have it for dinner round at mine after, a big roast?!

no rep.. but may award you some if it's a tasty roast and I'm invited

Bollocks!

I’ll redeem myself in the kitchen, and of course you are.

Lambs are harder to kill than you'd think....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Such an alpha male post

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Don't say cassowary, don't say cassowary

I reckon I could take a goat, that's the size of a horse to me!

I'd ride it like a bucking bronco and get it in a sleeper hold.

If anyone could take on a cassowary, you could. Id love to see the first 20secs of you screaming being chased by it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm going to say a Tiger, I reckon with fake tan and mascara I could blend in and shoot the bloody thing when its backs turned

can I just clarify when I said shoot it I meant with Hair bobbles till it backed of over the cliff edge

New rule. You are nekkid.. no clothing of bubbles.. red flags to wave at bulls. No retractable piercings. Your only weapon is your physical power, mental fortitude and knowledge. "

To be fair the sight of me naked would prob kill any predator, so name your most fearsome choice!

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By *ensualbicockMan over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

"A Giraffe . I'll wear stilts

I'll use you as a golf ball.. have you seen them fight

"
Yeah. They take necking to a whole new level

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Honey badger ! Think I could get the better of one of them , x "

What makes you think you can kill one..? They fight lions and hyenas off. What woud you do..? they'd no weak spot and notoriously hard to kill.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The Emperor penguin. Poke in the eye, head lock. Job done

Easy.. buf we're aiming for hard but survivable

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A lamb.

Could have it for dinner round at mine after, a big roast?!

no rep.. but may award you some if it's a tasty roast and I'm invited

Bollocks!

I’ll redeem myself in the kitchen, and of course you are.

Lambs are harder to kill than you'd think...."

I know

My dad had a slaughter room under our butcher shop when we were kids. We were taught how to kill at 13.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Haha okay then I'll take on a herd of hippos and try my luck

1 is easy i kicked ones ass last game just throw marbles they cant resist eating them and break there teeth"

no weapons.. you fight naked

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A Panda . Kung fu style "

Has nobody seen the panda pulling guy through fence meme? powerful things.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Such an alpha male post

if the cap doth fit

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm going to say a Tiger, I reckon with fake tan and mascara I could blend in and shoot the bloody thing when its backs turned

can I just clarify when I said shoot it I meant with Hair bobbles till it backed of over the cliff edge

New rule. You are nekkid.. no clothing of bubbles.. red flags to wave at bulls. No retractable piercings. Your only weapon is your physical power, mental fortitude and knowledge.

To be fair the sight of me naked would prob kill any predator, so name your most fearsome choice!"

I'd risk it for a biscuit

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

A Shir Khan

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't say cassowary, don't say cassowary

I reckon I could take a goat, that's the size of a horse to me!

I'd ride it like a bucking bronco and get it in a sleeper hold.

If anyone could take on a cassowary, you could. Id love to see the first 20secs of you screaming being chased by it."

I'd probably try to give the bastard a great big kiss on it's forehead, then die whilst it freddy kruegered me to the heart.

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By *ustme34Man over a year ago

Bingley

"A Panda . Kung fu style

Has nobody seen the panda pulling guy through fence meme? powerful things."
no but theres plenty of videos of them falling and rolling over and being scared of farts

. I'd entice it with bamboo and 'WHAM' kung fu it all ove the field

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A Shir Khan"

Most well spoken tiger in the jungle

I prefer Bagheera. Less powerful, but better for it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Don't say cassowary, don't say cassowary

I reckon I could take a goat, that's the size of a horse to me!

I'd ride it like a bucking bronco and get it in a sleeper hold.

If anyone could take on a cassowary, you could. Id love to see the first 20secs of you screaming being chased by it.

I'd probably try to give the bastard a great big kiss on it's forehead, then die whilst it freddy kruegered me to the heart.

300 times in .5 of a second

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't say cassowary, don't say cassowary

I reckon I could take a goat, that's the size of a horse to me!

I'd ride it like a bucking bronco and get it in a sleeper hold.

If anyone could take on a cassowary, you could. Id love to see the first 20secs of you screaming being chased by it.

I'd probably try to give the bastard a great big kiss on it's forehead, then die whilst it freddy kruegered me to the heart.

300 times in .5 of a second"

A quick demise. That'll do me

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A Panda . Kung fu style

Has nobody seen the panda pulling guy through fence meme? powerful things. no but theres plenty of videos of them falling and rolling over and being scared of farts

. I'd entice it with bamboo and 'WHAM' kung fu it all ove the field"

thought you were going to say lure it in.. then fart on it! Panda panics and rolls of edge.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A lemming

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've done this thread before but I love it, so here it is again..

For maximum reputation points alone.. What animal do you HONESTLY think you could take on, hand to claw.. in a fight to the death?

No mamby pamby answers.. like "I wuv animaws".. Go take your head off a shit, this is "Animal deathmatch".

a bumble bee can sting me and die!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A lemming "

Its not true

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A fly

harder to kill than a hamster I guess"

That they are

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm going to say a Tiger, I reckon with fake tan and mascara I could blend in and shoot the bloody thing when its backs turned

can I just clarify when I said shoot it I meant with Hair bobbles till it backed of over the cliff edge

New rule. You are nekkid.. no clothing of bubbles.. red flags to wave at bulls. No retractable piercings. Your only weapon is your physical power, mental fortitude and knowledge.

To be fair the sight of me naked would prob kill any predator, so name your most fearsome choice!

I'd risk it for a biscuit"

Now where would I hide that!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I've done this thread before but I love it, so here it is again..

For maximum reputation points alone.. What animal do you HONESTLY think you could take on, hand to claw.. in a fight to the death?

No mamby pamby answers.. like "I wuv animaws".. Go take your head off a shit, this is "Animal deathmatch".

a bumble bee can sting me and die!"

are you choosing a bee?

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By *ustme34Man over a year ago

Bingley

"A Panda . Kung fu style

Has nobody seen the panda pulling guy through fence meme? powerful things. no but theres plenty of videos of them falling and rolling over and being scared of farts

. I'd entice it with bamboo and 'WHAM' kung fu it all ove the field

thought you were going to say lure it in.. then fart on it! Panda panics and rolls of edge. "
tactics .. I like it .. good team talk .... now wheres this panda

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I once drop kicked a Pekingese over a fence. Not proud of it at all. It had got loose and was biting at my trousers on my way home from school some 40 years ago. I swung my leg to get it off and unfortunately it held on a little too long and instead of just being shaken off, cleared the garden wall of its home and landed on the garden. Fortunately it wasn’t hurt but I was horrified. So If push came to shove I have the measure of a yappy Pekingese.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

realise I missed ant and cobra out of my replies.

Ant? What kind?

Cobra? I take it you've snake handing knowledge? theres no sticks about.. it's a grass field.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I once drop kicked a Pekingese over a fence. Not proud of it at all. It had got loose and was biting at my trousers on my way home from school some 40 years ago. I swung my leg to get it off and unfortunately it held on a little too long and instead of just being shaken off, cleared the garden wall of its home and landed on the garden. Fortunately it wasn’t hurt but I was horrified. So If push came to shove I have the measure of a yappy Pekingese."

I'm giving you rep points for admitting that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The Emperor penguin. Poke in the eye, head lock. Job done

Easy.. buf we're aiming for hard but survivable"

Its not going to be easy trying to keep a Emperor penguin in a head lock while its wings or flippers are flapping around, those slippery suckers would be hard to hold..especially after you've just poked it in the eye. But yeah I get your point, not much of a threat coming back.

A small black bear. A very small one

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

A Bahumabahana Ant

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By *ustme34Man over a year ago

Bingley

"The Emperor penguin. Poke in the eye, head lock. Job done

Easy.. buf we're aiming for hard but survivable

A small black bear. A very small one

"
keep throwing fish like a breadcrumb trail towards the edge then drop kick it from behind

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By *illy_the_tvTV/TS over a year ago

hoorn, Netherlands

Maybe a wolf, all about just jumping on them first and choking them out, same with most medium sized animals. Also they dont have like claws too take with like a big cat does so just jumping around and kicking the face should be adequate enough

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The Emperor penguin. Poke in the eye, head lock. Job done

Easy.. buf we're aiming for hard but survivable

A small black bear. A very small one

equivalent to taking on a larger wild dog I think. You're getting torn up for sure, but you've got my confidence because you chose to go small black. Not big black bear.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A Bahumabahana Ant

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The Emperor penguin. Poke in the eye, head lock. Job done

Easy.. buf we're aiming for hard but survivable

A small black bear. A very small one

keep throwing fish like a breadcrumb trail towards the edge then drop kick it from behind "

nobody reads the rules

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"I've done this thread before but I love it, so here it is again..

For maximum reputation points alone.. What animal do you HONESTLY think you could take on, hand to claw.. in a fight to the death?

No mamby pamby answers.. like "I wuv animaws".. Go take your head off a shit, this is "Animal deathmatch".

a bumble bee can sting me and die!"

I like your thinking

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Maybe a wolf, all about just jumping on them first and choking them out, same with most medium sized animals. Also they dont have like claws too take with like a big cat does so just jumping around and kicking the face should be adequate enough"

I think it's harder than you describe.. but yes.. you're getting savagely hurt, but you get big rep

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By *illy_the_tvTV/TS over a year ago

hoorn, Netherlands

I think it's harder than you describe.. but yes.. you're getting savagely hurt, but you get big rep"
may get hurt, depends on who gets the first launch in. Alternately, they do pounce when they attack so you could sit right at the edge of the void and try to use their momentum to launch them off the edge.

(Also previous comment was meant to say rake, autocorrected to take)

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"The Emperor penguin. Poke in the eye, head lock. Job done

Easy.. buf we're aiming for hard but survivable

A small black bear. A very small one

keep throwing fish like a breadcrumb trail towards the edge then drop kick it from behind

nobody reads the rules

We too busy fighting!

Rules are for pussies

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I think it's harder than you describe.. but yes.. you're getting savagely hurt, but you get big rep may get hurt, depends on who gets the first launch in. Alternately, they do pounce when they attack so you could sit right at the edge of the void and try to use their momentum to launch them off the edge.

(Also previous comment was meant to say rake, autocorrected to take)"

*Ghengis looks down at you from his lofty pony perch*

"Join my People"

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The Emperor penguin. Poke in the eye, head lock. Job done

Easy.. buf we're aiming for hard but survivable

A small black bear. A very small one

keep throwing fish like a breadcrumb trail towards the edge then drop kick it from behind

nobody reads the rules

We too busy fighting!

Rules are for pussies

+5 rep points awarded for gobbling off to the ref whilst mid scrap.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The Emperor penguin. Poke in the eye, head lock. Job done

Easy.. buf we're aiming for hard but survivable

A small black bear. A very small one

keep throwing fish like a breadcrumb trail towards the edge then drop kick it from behind

nobody reads the rules

We too busy fighting!

Rules are for pussies

+5 rep points awarded for gobbling off to the ref whilst mid scrap."

+10 if you gobble off the ref

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By *illy_the_tvTV/TS over a year ago

hoorn, Netherlands

(Also previous comment was meant to say rake, autocorrected to take)

*Ghengis looks down at you from his lofty pony perch*

"Join my People""

I'm more the lone wolf type that comes when needed but wont be tied down to a group of people

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"The Emperor penguin. Poke in the eye, head lock. Job done

Easy.. buf we're aiming for hard but survivable

A small black bear. A very small one

keep throwing fish like a breadcrumb trail towards the edge then drop kick it from behind

nobody reads the rules

We too busy fighting!

Rules are for pussies

+5 rep points awarded for gobbling off to the ref whilst mid scrap.

+10 if you gobble off the ref

I don't think that's in the rules....but what the hell

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I grew up in the back of beyond, with strange parents, and have been responsible for bringing in 'something for tea' on numerous occasions. I'm not fighting anything bigger than a hen!

lots of animals the size of a hen can be pretty savage. Is a hen your final answer?"

Yep!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

(Also previous comment was meant to say rake, autocorrected to take)

*Ghengis looks down at you from his lofty pony perch*

"Join my People"

I'm more the lone wolf type that comes when needed but wont be tied down to a group of people

That is my people

Away with you Wolf Queen

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I grew up in the back of beyond, with strange parents, and have been responsible for bringing in 'something for tea' on numerous occasions. I'm not fighting anything bigger than a hen!

lots of animals the size of a hen can be pretty savage. Is a hen your final answer?

Yep! "

(Chinese knockoff emoji *Thumbs down*) I know you can do better than that.

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By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Liverpool

The majority of the human race stand no chance against most animal species that are attacking them. Without weapons at least.

In this specific scenario I assume since the animal knows the rules that they won't get scared and have a flight response - they will be in pure primal animalistic defense fight mode.

Anything above a medium sized dog is going to destroy most humans. Better equiped for "hand to hand" combat. Be it through horns, claws, teeth etc or just pure strength.

Chimpanzee for example fairly "small" but the power in one of those guys puts humans to shame.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The majority of the human race stand no chance against most animal species that are attacking them. Without weapons at least.

In this specific scenario I assume since the animal knows the rules that they won't get scared and have a flight response - they will be in pure primal animalistic defense fight mode.

Anything above a medium sized dog is going to destroy most humans. Better equiped for "hand to hand" combat. Be it through horns, claws, teeth etc or just pure strength.

Chimpanzee for example fairly "small" but the power in one of those guys puts humans to shame. "

*Ghengis eyes you coldy*

You are my people as well

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd just love it if a peacock started something, your dumb cunt feathers don't scare me you fancy prick

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I grew up in the back of beyond, with strange parents, and have been responsible for bringing in 'something for tea' on numerous occasions. I'm not fighting anything bigger than a hen!

lots of animals the size of a hen can be pretty savage. Is a hen your final answer?

Yep!

(Chinese knockoff emoji *Thumbs down*) I know you can do better than that."

Somwme hens are very vicious!

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By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Liverpool

"The majority of the human race stand no chance against most animal species that are attacking them. Without weapons at least.

In this specific scenario I assume since the animal knows the rules that they won't get scared and have a flight response - they will be in pure primal animalistic defense fight mode.

Anything above a medium sized dog is going to destroy most humans. Better equiped for "hand to hand" combat. Be it through horns, claws, teeth etc or just pure strength.

Chimpanzee for example fairly "small" but the power in one of those guys puts humans to shame.

*Ghengis eyes you coldy*

You are my people as well

Realistic faith in the human race, but overwhelming respect for the animal world?

Slight adjustment too!

Quite a few animals smaller than medium dogs will fuck us up too.

Honey Badger and a fair few snake species would do quite a bit of damage.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'd just love it if a peacock started something, your dumb cunt feathers don't scare me you fancy prick"

I imagine it having a scouse accent..

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The majority of the human race stand no chance against most animal species that are attacking them. Without weapons at least.

In this specific scenario I assume since the animal knows the rules that they won't get scared and have a flight response - they will be in pure primal animalistic defense fight mode.

Anything above a medium sized dog is going to destroy most humans. Better equiped for "hand to hand" combat. Be it through horns, claws, teeth etc or just pure strength.

Chimpanzee for example fairly "small" but the power in one of those guys puts humans to shame.

*Ghengis eyes you coldy*

You are my people as well

Realistic faith in the human race, but overwhelming respect for the animal world?

Slight adjustment too!

Quite a few animals smaller than medium dogs will fuck us up too.

Honey Badger and a fair few snake species would do quite a bit of damage. "

I wouldn't go near a honey badger.. dogs I know. Snakes scare me in a different way. A poisonous one would make me freeze up a bit, especially a larger one like a Cobra.

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