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Ladies, about your ego...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi folks,
So this one is for the ladies. I’m sure all guys like a woman with confident ego. Besides what “guys want” all men and women should be confident in themselves and have a strong ego. If you do not believe it is the place of a man (me) to tell others what they should have then please let me know if you think men and women should have anything other then a strong ego and self confidence!
I have seen a few profiles on here where the women state they are trying to regain/increase confidence etc. So my questions for the ladies are the following
- What things boost your confidence.
- What things can a man/partner do to help encourage/boost your confidence?
- Do the high volume of random interest from men boost confidence? (I am assuming not?)
- Any other thoughts as to what is needed to help a woman rise up. Men and women think so differently that I think in communication men can say things which to males would be confidence boosting but to women it is not. A man getting 50 messages saying “fuck now?!” would probably make his head swell to the point of bursting!
It interests me as I do not like to see people feeling shit about themselves but with the human mind being so complex, it is interesting to see how people would like to be given confidence 
J.H |
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It's personal and depends on why the confidence isn't there to begin with. For me it took a lot of internal work. People I care about could have minimal effect. Strangers wanting to fuck me, zero to negative effect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We're all different but in general terms saying nice things won't work, if I'm feeling low I'll just think you're lying or pitying me. The only way a man could help involves feelings and random strangers online can't provide that, a stable and loving relationship can.
On the whole though my confidence and self esteem are mine and the only way to be more positive is in my head. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We're all different but in general terms saying nice things won't work, if I'm feeling low I'll just think you're lying or pitying me. The only way a man could help involves feelings and random strangers online can't provide that, a stable and loving relationship can.
On the whole though my confidence and self esteem are mine and the only way to be more positive is in my head."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's personal and depends on why the confidence isn't there to begin with. For me it took a lot of internal work. People I care about could have minimal effect. Strangers wanting to fuck me, zero to negative effect. "
Yep I agree. It is the self love which needs to increase. I was at a perfect weight with good abs and a great physique but looked in the mirror and believed I was obese. Now I look back and think what the hell was going on in my head! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We're all different but in general terms saying nice things won't work, if I'm feeling low I'll just think you're lying or pitying me. The only way a man could help involves feelings and random strangers online can't provide that, a stable and loving relationship can.
On the whole though my confidence and self esteem are mine and the only way to be more positive is in my head."
Yes it is long term positive reinforcement that is needed for sure |
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"I'd leave it alone. It's on them to figure it out. "
Yeah. I don't think it's up to men in general to help women with their confidence. In a relationship people should take care of each other and the only way to do that is by communication and respect. But men as a whole aren't responsible for making women feel better about themselves and not all women suffer from low self esteem. I'd say on fab low self confidence is about equal between men and women |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd leave it alone. It's on them to figure it out.
Yeah. I don't think it's up to men in general to help women with their confidence. In a relationship people should take care of each other and the only way to do that is by communication and respect. But men as a whole aren't responsible for making women feel better about themselves and not all women suffer from low self esteem. I'd say on fab low self confidence is about equal between men and women"
I’m not here to be saved by men  |
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"I'd leave it alone. It's on them to figure it out.
Yeah. I don't think it's up to men in general to help women with their confidence. In a relationship people should take care of each other and the only way to do that is by communication and respect. But men as a whole aren't responsible for making women feel better about themselves and not all women suffer from low self esteem. I'd say on fab low self confidence is about equal between men and women
I’m not here to be saved by men "
I'm beyond saving. Many have tried, few have succeeded |
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By *iolet82Woman
over a year ago
strathaven |
Self confidence comes from within the individual. If you depend on someone else to deliver you don’t have it. Nothing a man or anyone can do to change that. A lot of attention on here is superficial and doesn’t support ego in the long term if you are of sound mind. Very considerate thought op x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think strangers on the internet are really the best place to seek confidence. It has to come from within.
Ultimately if I'm feeling insecure or generally disliking my flaws , nothing anyone can say (even those close to me) will help .
Sadly it's always easier to believe something negative about myself than something positive.
A lot of people find various positive affirmation techniques work. Things like sticking positive thoughts in a jar and reading them back, actually saying them out loud often, even meditation.
Or focussing on achieving something every day, small things or big things. For some it might be just heading out or eating well, for others it might be a task etc. That sense of achievement can boost self worth.
What helps one person won't necessarily help another though.
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Everyone has a different, probably complex past as well as differing needs today.
I view self-confidence as fairly complex too and probably not the unified attribute that it may seem, there are many aspects of it. I see that people who may not have it as fully as they could, may also have some oppositional 'negative' attributes - sometimes counterbalancing, undermining or restraining somehow.
Our psyche is complex. Our beliefs about ourselves may be part of what limits us, as could our sense of our identity - if all of our attributes are not in alignment, we may stumble.
We're often stronger when we have a strong sense of self, aligned beliefs and our confidence, self-esteem , skill levels etc are good and we've flexibility across contexts
In other words, there can be multiple layers that may hold us back.
Letting us know that we are believed in, not being potentially oppressive by imposing, that some may construe as having doubts, letting us know that you are willing to help but letting us pick just if, when and with what, helps us to restore for ourselves, our self-confidence.
You can be like the provider of some scaffolding, that we'll put in place, whilst we regenerate. We won't be helped by any pressure - thongs take as long as they do. Think of things a little bit like nurturing a child.
If your confidence levels are good, it can help to guide us invisibly.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Half of them would fuck any thing so getting hundreds of messages doesn't do anything for my ego. I only open and read local messages anyway. What would give me more confidence would be less superficial things, like someone liking me for me and not just my pussy. Genuinely laughing together feeling like I am good company, someone giving me their time and attention rather than feeling like one of a whole hoard of ladies when we are together. I think all these things would make me feel better than a 1462 fuck me messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Giving a shit because they genuinely give a shit about the human, not because they want to get into the hole of said human.
I think it has less to do with the gender of the person who cares, and more to do with the fact that they do.
What I'd say is it isn't the role of men to try to inflate a woman's ego, however, their actions have the potential to do a lot of damage it.
My tired input anyway
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ladies have egos, eh ?
Never, not on fabswingers 
We all do it's just that some are more fragile than others. That goes for men too..."
I lost mine as part of the initiation which is never ending |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Giving a shit because they genuinely give a shit about the human, not because they want to get into the hole of said human.
I think it has less to do with the gender of the person who cares, and more to do with the fact that they do.
What I'd say is it isn't the role of men to try to inflate a woman's ego, however, their actions have the potential to do a lot of damage it.
My tired input anyway
P"
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My confidence or lack of it comes from my own thought's.
It does help when D, friends or family say positive things to motivate me but ultimately it's down to me to make me more Confident and that's a working progress.
Jo.Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think ego, confidence and self esteem are being confused here as they are actually totally different things!
High self esteem is attractive whereas being egotistical isn't in the slightest! Confidence is something different again!
A big ego means you love yourself too much, having a high self esteem means you realistically value yourself whereas being confident means you have have faith in your own abilities and believe in yourself.
Ego is just operating out of self interest when compared to the other two!
Hope this helps! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So self esteem comes from within and not sure if anyone can help, confidence can actually be externally improved but ego, I think all of US ladies get an inflated ego from being on fab!  |
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"Think ego, confidence and self esteem are being confused here as they are actually totally different things!
High self esteem is attractive whereas being egotistical isn't in the slightest! Confidence is something different again!
A big ego means you love yourself too much, having a high self esteem means you realistically value yourself whereas being confident means you have have faith in your own abilities and believe in yourself.
Ego is just operating out of self interest when compared to the other two!
Hope this helps! "
It does yes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think ego, confidence and self esteem are being confused here as they are actually totally different things!
High self esteem is attractive whereas being egotistical isn't in the slightest! Confidence is something different again!
A big ego means you love yourself too much, having a high self esteem means you realistically value yourself whereas being confident means you have have faith in your own abilities and believe in yourself.
Ego is just operating out of self interest when compared to the other two!
Hope this helps!
It does yes "
|
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"Half of them would fuck any thing so getting hundreds of messages doesn't do anything for my ego. I only open and read local messages anyway. What would give me more confidence would be less superficial things, like someone liking me for me and not just my pussy. Genuinely laughing together feeling like I am good company, someone giving me their time and attention rather than feeling like one of a whole hoard of ladies when we are together. I think all these things would make me feel better than a 1462 fuck me messages. "
You're kinda hard on yourself in your profile. I think you look better than you give yourself credit for... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ladies have egos, eh ?
Never, not on fabswingers
We all have egos, some are more inflated or fragile than others "
Safety pin for the inflated ones and hugs for the fragile ones |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Think ego, confidence and self esteem are being confused here as they are actually totally different things!
High self esteem is attractive whereas being egotistical isn't in the slightest! Confidence is something different again!
A big ego means you love yourself too much, having a high self esteem means you realistically value yourself whereas being confident means you have have faith in your own abilities and believe in yourself.
Ego is just operating out of self interest when compared to the other two!
Hope this helps! "
I’m sure ego is a synonym for self esteem or at least the sense of self esteem.
To be honest I only wrote ego as clickbait I was questioning more the idea of sexual confidence. Wayyy to many replies to reply to everyone now! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think ego, confidence and self esteem are being confused here as they are actually totally different things!
High self esteem is attractive whereas being egotistical isn't in the slightest! Confidence is something different again!
A big ego means you love yourself too much, having a high self esteem means you realistically value yourself whereas being confident means you have have faith in your own abilities and believe in yourself.
Ego is just operating out of self interest when compared to the other two!
Hope this helps!
I’m sure ego is a synonym for self esteem or at least the sense of self esteem.
To be honest I only wrote ego as clickbait I was questioning more the idea of sexual confidence. Wayyy to many replies to reply to everyone now! "
Ego and self esteem have nothing in common at all! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Think ego, confidence and self esteem are being confused here as they are actually totally different things!
High self esteem is attractive whereas being egotistical isn't in the slightest! Confidence is something different again!
A big ego means you love yourself too much, having a high self esteem means you realistically value yourself whereas being confident means you have have faith in your own abilities and believe in yourself.
Ego is just operating out of self interest when compared to the other two!
Hope this helps!
I’m sure ego is a synonym for self esteem or at least the sense of self esteem.
To be honest I only wrote ego as clickbait I was questioning more the idea of sexual confidence. Wayyy to many replies to reply to everyone now!
Ego and self esteem have nothing in common at all! "
Oxford dictionary definition of ego is against you! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don't consider swinging, sex or anything else has anything to do with ego/confidence. Making mistakes, learning from them, willing to try again, that's what gives you confidence"
Very much agree with that! Over coming fears has been the biggest confidence booster for myself. Pushing past that fear of the unknown. I think as well it builds mental strength when you over come fears! |
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