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Using sex to pay for holidays etc
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We know a woman who uses sex to get men to pay to take her away on holidays/ short breaks, meals, clothes, etc. She always tells them she's fallen in love with them after being together for just a couple of weeks.
She's now snared a good friend. He's a nice guy and people have tried to warn him off her. But she's 15 years younger than him and other men are jealous as she's hot. -He gets good sex and a big ego boost from being with her.
Is this actually a good situation? Is it ok because they are both using each other? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If they're both under no illusions about the situation then that's fine, if shes manipulating him emotionally and playing him for material gains, then that's a completely different thing.
Ultimately your friend is an adult and probably won't welcome your interference, if you've raised your concerns and they've been ignored then all you can do is be there when they realise.
Unfortunately lots of people do what this person is doing on varying levels, it's not right but it's not illegal.
Tea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My friends mum was like this; was quoted over £2000 for her garden to get done up. The gardener came, and on the very first day didn’t go home. Stayed for four nights.
Once her garden was finished she ended it because ‘he smokes and I don’t like it’
She also smokes
She does it all the time and she’s incredibly unhappy with her life. Is it worth it?
(Sorry I know that doesn’t answer any of your questions) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We know a woman who uses sex to get men to pay to take her away on holidays/ short breaks, meals, clothes, etc. She always tells them she's fallen in love with them after being together for just a couple of weeks.
She's now snared a good friend. He's a nice guy and people have tried to warn him off her. But she's 15 years younger than him and other men are jealous as she's hot. -He gets good sex and a big ego boost from being with her.
Is this actually a good situation? Is it ok because they are both using each other?"
It sounds like they deserve each other  |
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Yep got to agree, you can tell someone something once.
You may even debate it a second time, but then it's down to them to use the information you have provided and make their own choices and decisions.
If you try to force your own choices and will then they may resent that and you.
We are all played to different degrees by people we know and marketing by companies. She is just using what she had to a different level. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My friends mum was like this; was quoted over £2000 for her garden to get done up. The gardener came, and on the very first day didn’t go home. Stayed for four nights.
Once her garden was finished she ended it because ‘he smokes and I don’t like it’
She also smokes
She does it all the time and she’s incredibly unhappy with her life. Is it worth it?
(Sorry I know that doesn’t answer any of your questions)"
Are you saying she used him? My brain doesn't work on Sundays.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My friends mum was like this; was quoted over £2000 for her garden to get done up. The gardener came, and on the very first day didn’t go home. Stayed for four nights.
Once her garden was finished she ended it because ‘he smokes and I don’t like it’
She also smokes
She does it all the time and she’s incredibly unhappy with her life. Is it worth it?
(Sorry I know that doesn’t answer any of your questions)
Are you saying she used him? My brain doesn't work on Sundays. "
Yep
She also used a man who works at DFS to get an even bigger discount on a couch. She does it all the time, yet is so unhappy. Is an alcoholic and can barely function properly  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If they're both under no illusions about the situation then that's fine, if shes manipulating him emotionally and playing him for material gains, then that's a completely different thing.
Ultimately your friend is an adult and probably won't welcome your interference, if you've raised your concerns and they've been ignored then all you can do is be there when they realise.
Unfortunately lots of people do what this person is doing on varying levels, it's not right but it's not illegal.
Tea"
He believes that he loves her. This may be true but we're not convinced. She's already dumped him twice.
I'm leaving them to it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My friends mum was like this; was quoted over £2000 for her garden to get done up. The gardener came, and on the very first day didn’t go home. Stayed for four nights.
Once her garden was finished she ended it because ‘he smokes and I don’t like it’
She also smokes
She does it all the time and she’s incredibly unhappy with her life. Is it worth it?
(Sorry I know that doesn’t answer any of your questions)
Are you saying she used him? My brain doesn't work on Sundays.
Yep
She also used a man who works at DFS to get an even bigger discount on a couch. She does it all the time, yet is so unhappy. Is an alcoholic and can barely function properly "
That's sad. x
That's something I hadn't thought of, thank you. Perhaps she (woman in the OP) is unhappy too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yep got to agree, you can tell someone something once.
You may even debate it a second time, but then it's down to them to use the information you have provided and make their own choices and decisions.
If you try to force your own choices and will then they may resent that and you.
We are all played to different degrees by people we know and marketing by companies. She is just using what she had to a different level."
Fair point about us all being played in one way or another. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
Exchanging a service for another service, (for example I had a friend who cut my hair, I did her beauty treatments, no money changed hands) I have no issue with this. However, holidays or services for sex is just prostitution without the actual money changing hands in my opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At the moment they're both Happy, later someone could be less Happy. My only concern would be if the friend is a fragile Person, but in that case be prepared to sustain him without any judjment when he Will be let down, he probably already knows, deep in his Heart, that's not actually love, but sometimes a lie Is Better than nothing. |
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"If they're both under no illusions about the situation then that's fine, if shes manipulating him emotionally and playing him for material gains, then that's a completely different thing.
Ultimately your friend is an adult and probably won't welcome your interference, if you've raised your concerns and they've been ignored then all you can do is be there when they realise.
Unfortunately lots of people do what this person is doing on varying levels, it's not right but it's not illegal.
Tea
He believes that he loves her. This may be true but we're not convinced. She's already dumped him twice.
I'm leaving them to it.
"
I think that last comment changes the complexion of the relationship.
It does not sound such an equal arrangement between them. |
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"We know a woman who uses sex to get men to pay to take her away on holidays/ short breaks, meals, clothes, etc. She always tells them she's fallen in love with them after being together for just a couple of weeks.
She's now snared a good friend. He's a nice guy and people have tried to warn him off her. But she's 15 years younger than him and other men are jealous as she's hot. -He gets good sex and a big ego boost from being with her.
Is this actually a good situation? Is it ok because they are both using each other?"
I understand your concern
But he’s old enough and he’s obviously enjoying something he may not normally be getting
Each to their own so unless he’s a vulnerable adult |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
There is little you can do, if you have told him what she is like and he chooses to ignore your advice then so be it. Maybe he feels that the massive ego boost is worth the risk.
All you can do is be there for him should it all go wrong later. |
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How many men has she done this too?
How do you know she tells them she loves them after a few weeks ?
How do you know other men are jealous ?
Last question can you give her my number so I can get some holiday tips....
|
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By *omaMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"We know a woman who uses sex to get men to pay to take her away on holidays/ short breaks, meals, clothes, etc. She always tells them she's fallen in love with them after being together for just a couple of weeks.
She's now snared a good friend. He's a nice guy and people have tried to warn him off her. But she's 15 years younger than him and other men are jealous as she's hot. -He gets good sex and a big ego boost from being with her.
Is this actually a good situation? Is it ok because they are both using each other?"
Just remember NOT to say to this good friend "Told You So"
When it all goes tit's up  |
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"My friends mum was like this; was quoted over £2000 for her garden to get done up. The gardener came, and on the very first day didn’t go home. Stayed for four nights.
Once her garden was finished she ended it because ‘he smokes and I don’t like it’
She also smokes
She does it all the time and she’s incredibly unhappy with her life. Is it worth it?
(Sorry I know that doesn’t answer any of your questions)"
She's got a tidy lady garden now  |
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"We know a woman who uses sex to get men to pay to take her away on holidays/ short breaks, meals, clothes, etc. She always tells them she's fallen in love with them after being together for just a couple of weeks.
She's now snared a good friend. He's a nice guy and people have tried to warn him off her. But she's 15 years younger than him and other men are jealous as she's hot. -He gets good sex and a big ego boost from being with her.
Is this actually a good situation? Is it ok because they are both using each other?"
They're off....to the Isle of Fernando's |
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"At the moment they're both Happy, later someone could be less Happy. My only concern would be if the friend is a fragile Person, but in that case be prepared to sustain him without any judjment when he Will be let down, he probably already knows, deep in his Heart, that's not actually love, but sometimes a lie Is Better than nothing. "
Don't think they can both be happy... Maybe she's bashful...!!! |
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"
How many men has she done this too?
How do you know she tells them she loves them after a few weeks ?
How do you know other men are jealous ?
Last question can you give her my number so I can get some holiday tips....
"
Granny I will come with you and be your at your service all week lol x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"At the moment they're both Happy, later someone could be less Happy. My only concern would be if the friend is a fragile Person, but in that case be prepared to sustain him without any judjment when he Will be let down, he probably already knows, deep in his Heart, that's not actually love, but sometimes a lie Is Better than nothing. "
I agree that sometimes, something is better than nothing. X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
How many men has she done this too?
How do you know she tells them she loves them after a few weeks ?
How do you know other men are jealous ?
Last question can you give her my number so I can get some holiday tips....
"
Enough. 
She posts it online.
Our friend said that she told him many men want her.
Ha good idea!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So he gets a hot younger woman and is the envy of his mate's along with sex and age gets a holiday.
I think she's got the poorer end of the deal myself"
 |
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"
How many men has she done this too?
How do you know she tells them she loves them after a few weeks ?
How do you know other men are jealous ?
Last question can you give her my number so I can get some holiday tips....
Enough.
She posts it online.
Our friend said that she told him many men want her.
Ha good idea! "
I suspect he knows then if she posts it on line and is using holidays to pay for sex. I'm guessing they're using each other. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If they're both under no illusions about the situation then that's fine, if shes manipulating him emotionally and playing him for material gains, then that's a completely different thing.
Ultimately your friend is an adult and probably won't welcome your interference, if you've raised your concerns and they've been ignored then all you can do is be there when they realise.
Unfortunately lots of people do what this person is doing on varying levels, it's not right but it's not illegal.
Tea
He believes that he loves her. This may be true but we're not convinced. She's already dumped him twice.
I'm leaving them to it.
I think that last comment changes the complexion of the relationship.
It does not sound such an equal arrangement between them. "
Which comment, that she's dumped him twice?
She had a new boyfriend a few weeks after the last time she dumped him but it went wrong. So she got back with my friend- he said that she likes him more now as her last boyfriend was so bad. |
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I’d be honest with my friend because that’s what friends do.
As for the woman. To each their own but I’m not a fan of manipulating people as it’s pretty damn low. However adults should probably know of they’re being taken for a ride so... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
How many men has she done this too?
How do you know she tells them she loves them after a few weeks ?
How do you know other men are jealous ?
Last question can you give her my number so I can get some holiday tips....
Enough.
She posts it online.
Our friend said that she told him many men want her.
Ha good idea!
I suspect he knows then if she posts it on line and is using holidays to pay for sex. I'm guessing they're using each other. "
She doesn't admit she's using sex for that. She tells them she loves them then moves on. |
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"If they're both under no illusions about the situation then that's fine, if shes manipulating him emotionally and playing him for material gains, then that's a completely different thing.
Ultimately your friend is an adult and probably won't welcome your interference, if you've raised your concerns and they've been ignored then all you can do is be there when they realise.
Unfortunately lots of people do what this person is doing on varying levels, it's not right but it's not illegal.
Tea
He believes that he loves her. This may be true but we're not convinced. She's already dumped him twice.
I'm leaving them to it.
I think that last comment changes the complexion of the relationship.
It does not sound such an equal arrangement between them.
Which comment, that she's dumped him twice?
She had a new boyfriend a few weeks after the last time she dumped him but it went wrong. So she got back with my friend- he said that she likes him more now as her last boyfriend was so bad. "
Which decade of his life is your friend in?
I know a woman who met a Cypriot waiter in her late 50s. She's still with him 20 years later despite him still living in Cyprus with his wife. She's given him nearly all her money. My mum tried talking to her and her response was "you don't know what it's like to be lonely"
Some people know they're being fooled and still continue |
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A friend of mine used to say marriage was just legalised prostitution !
They both get things they need our id the relationship .
Whether it’s companionship or security , sex or family life
they compromise things to get what they want
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You already say that she dumped him twice, so even if she took advantage before it doesn't seem she want keep doing that.
Unfortunately I have more than one friend that ended on married this girl.
Is always younger, beautiful, and like to have amazing vacation, car, gadget big house...
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sadly, despite some optimistic and brave options above, you're never too old or wise to get fucked over where love is concerned.....
We all know it'll end in tears, usually even the participants....
Steve x |
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It’s sad but it’s no different to stuff that goes on here all the time op - maybe on here it’s just more straightforward?
The last time I was offered a ‘free’ holiday on here was yesterday - obviously I ignored the offer. Whether he’ll get someone he considers hot to take him up on his offer and effectively be a prostitute for a week I’ve no idea - but if he does so be it as long as they’re consenting adults and each knows what is expected of the other!
That’s kinda why I always turn back to fab after trying dating - on the whole people are more upfront about what they expect from one another! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If they're both under no illusions about the situation then that's fine, if shes manipulating him emotionally and playing him for material gains, then that's a completely different thing.
Ultimately your friend is an adult and probably won't welcome your interference, if you've raised your concerns and they've been ignored then all you can do is be there when they realise.
Unfortunately lots of people do what this person is doing on varying levels, it's not right but it's not illegal.
Tea
He believes that he loves her. This may be true but we're not convinced. She's already dumped him twice.
I'm leaving them to it.
I think that last comment changes the complexion of the relationship.
It does not sound such an equal arrangement between them.
Which comment, that she's dumped him twice?
She had a new boyfriend a few weeks after the last time she dumped him but it went wrong. So she got back with my friend- he said that she likes him more now as her last boyfriend was so bad.
Which decade of his life is your friend in?
I know a woman who met a Cypriot waiter in her late 50s. She's still with him 20 years later despite him still living in Cyprus with his wife. She's given him nearly all her money. My mum tried talking to her and her response was "you don't know what it's like to be lonely"
Some people know they're being fooled and still continue "
He's late 40's, she's early 30's.
Months ago, they booked a holiday for next month but then split. She was going to go with the new man instead but they split up. She's now back with our friend and looking forward to the holiday. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sadly, despite some optimistic and brave options above, you're never too old or wise to get fucked over where love is concerned.....
We all know it'll end in tears, usually even the participants....
Steve x "
But they will have fun in the meantime. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A friend of mine used to say marriage was just legalised prostitution !
They both get things they need our id the relationship .
Whether it’s companionship or security , sex or family life
they compromise things to get what they want
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If I used sex to pay for a holiday, I'd probably end up with an afternoon at an owl sanctuary.
You say that like it’s a bad thing. I like owls  "
It's hard to not like owls but if there's any freebies going I'd rather have a week in the sun, given the choice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sadly, despite some optimistic and brave options above, you're never too old or wise to get fucked over where love is concerned.....
We all know it'll end in tears, usually even the participants....
Steve x
But they will have fun in the meantime. "
Hope so! |
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"If they're both under no illusions about the situation then that's fine, if shes manipulating him emotionally and playing him for material gains, then that's a completely different thing.
Ultimately your friend is an adult and probably won't welcome your interference, if you've raised your concerns and they've been ignored then all you can do is be there when they realise.
Unfortunately lots of people do what this person is doing on varying levels, it's not right but it's not illegal.
Tea
He believes that he loves her. This may be true but we're not convinced. She's already dumped him twice.
I'm leaving them to it.
I think that last comment changes the complexion of the relationship.
It does not sound such an equal arrangement between them.
Which comment, that she's dumped him twice?
She had a new boyfriend a few weeks after the last time she dumped him but it went wrong. So she got back with my friend- he said that she likes him more now as her last boyfriend was so bad.
Which decade of his life is your friend in?
I know a woman who met a Cypriot waiter in her late 50s. She's still with him 20 years later despite him still living in Cyprus with his wife. She's given him nearly all her money. My mum tried talking to her and her response was "you don't know what it's like to be lonely"
Some people know they're being fooled and still continue
He's late 40's, she's early 30's.
Months ago, they booked a holiday for next month but then split. She was going to go with the new man instead but they split up. She's now back with our friend and looking forward to the holiday. "
Hmm. He *must* be aware of what's going, surely but as they say, love is blind |
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