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Standing up for yourself
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Recent work issue. I thought let it slide but then i got angry saw red and decided “no i will make my thoughts clear”
In life do you stand up for yourself or shy away from confrontation?
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Do I fuck.
I have absolutely no concept of tact and diplomatic resolve when it comes to workplace confrontations.
I've even gone through my Managing Director when I knew he was in the wrong.
To be more humble on that subject I was VERY fortunate to come away with my job after that. x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm terrible at standing up for my self. I bottle things up.
In my personal life I get Sulky then eventually let it all out so it ends up being much worse than discussing it 
I wish I wasn't like this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had to learn how to speak out when I'm being bulldozed by others. Life is much less stressful now. I'm always tactful and fair though. I won't confront people if I'm feeling over emotional. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Recent work issue. I thought let it slide but then i got angry saw red and decided “no i will make my thoughts clear”
In life do you stand up for yourself or shy away from confrontation?
"
theirs a time and a place, I'm very placid most things go over my head but |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This type of thread mostly gets the response of ....
Grrrrrrrrrrrr im really hard but have self control too .... but Grrrrrrrrrrr if you make me mad oh Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr on you.
"
Sorry granny x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This type of thread mostly gets the response of ....
Grrrrrrrrrrrr im really hard but have self control too .... but Grrrrrrrrrrr if you make me mad oh Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr on you.
"
grrrrr hulk smaaaaaaaaash |
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"This type of thread mostly gets the response of ....
Grrrrrrrrrrrr im really hard but have self control too .... but Grrrrrrrrrrr if you make me mad oh Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr on you.
Sorry granny x"
What for ? I like reading the responses. Makes me chuckle......
But Grrrrrrrrrrr i'm hard me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to talk things through, but found I was being lied to a lot, sometimes I think it was purely for the sake of it at times, to see how much I would challenge, how gullible I could be or how much I believed in the other person...would my loyalty to them blinker me? Other times to protect themselves from backlash, because it was the easiest thing to do, or simply because they believed their own bullshit.
From there I became a hot head. I had been burned badly and the first sign of things not adding up with anyone I'd jump straight into defense mode... walls up, heckles up, and battle on. I found myself gathering evidence to prove myself right (a necessary survival technique that undoubtedly saved my life in the darkness of someone purposely trying to convince me I was going crazy)
I talk much more again now though, probably too much but that's how I process and straighten things out in my head.
But yeah, I can come close to losing my shit if I believe I'm being taken for a cunt.
Sometimes I walk away, sometimes I'll sit quietly, watching, waiting. Other times it's pretty fucking obvious I want blood.
The workplace.. colleagues I take their life circumstances into consideration before acting. We all know each other really well so I'll generally see if there's something under the surface first.
Speaking of work... I must start
P |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
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At work I keep things strictly professional and address any issues in that way. Outside of work I often just let things go. Life is too short to do battle over silly things. If I felt really strongly about it then I would discuss it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At work I keep things strictly professional and address any issues in that way. Outside of work I often just let things go. Life is too short to do battle over silly things. If I felt really strongly about it then I would discuss it. "
I feel strongly about your pic can we discuss it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my job I have to constantly defend and protect my staff which I can do...when it comes to myself I'm a right walk over. In normal life I'm terrible for letting people take advantage because I hate letting anyone down and confrontation. Wish I was stronger that way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always best to stand up for yourself. Bullying doesn't just happen in playgrounds. Good on ya I say.
At least ya voiced ya opinion, if it continues then you have no other choice but to put the smackdown.
Bet ya feel alot better after saying it though.
We keep things going through our mind that annoy us, it brews falls to your tummy n comes out like poison.
Better saying it while it's in the ya head.
All the best. XO |
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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago
Bristol East |
"Recent work issue. I thought let it slide but then i got angry saw red and decided “no i will make my thoughts clear”
In life do you stand up for yourself or shy away from confrontation?
"
Depends what the objective is.
When I know that, I work my way back and look for the path of least resistance to achieving that objective.
I won't chuck my toys out of the pram for no reason - well, not usually lol - only if it helps achieve what I set out to do.
If this makes sense.
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"Lots of pushy competitive ppl about these days!! Life is not a competition
It is tho .......... nah it’s not,I cudant care less what other ppl have"
You are not the whole of life.....
I find life to be very competitive.
Whether it should or should not be is another thing.
Anyway...... stop competing with me and agree.  |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"At work I keep things strictly professional and address any issues in that way. Outside of work I often just let things go. Life is too short to do battle over silly things. If I felt really strongly about it then I would discuss it. I feel strongly about your pic can we discuss it "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of pushy competitive ppl about these days!! Life is not a competition
It is tho .......... nah it’s not,I cudant care less what other ppl have
You are not the whole of life.....
I find life to be very competitive.
Whether it should or should not be is another thing.
Anyway...... stop competing with me and agree. "
haha funny bugger |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This type of thread mostly gets the response of ....
Grrrrrrrrrrrr im really hard but have self control too .... but Grrrrrrrrrrr if you make me mad oh Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr on you.
"
Yeah exactly, it's not right or wrong if you do or don't stand up for yourself, it's just you and how you deal with things.
Trying to be someone you aren't won't work, just be yourself I say. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Standing up for yourself is just natural....learnt from an early age I think.......
"Oooooo you best watch out for me when I'm angry" is just a pissing contest...... "
Some people are just confrontational that's not the same thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This type of thread mostly gets the response of ....
Grrrrrrrrrrrr im really hard but have self control too .... but Grrrrrrrrrrr if you make me mad oh Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr on you.
grrrrr hulk smaaaaaaaaash"
Ha ha been a while since seen hulk smash |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can let alot of things slide. I hate confrontation, but there are times when I know I am in the right I will stand up for myself but I have learnt to do things in a positive way. My partner at work loves saying how I turn any negative into a positive and points out how well i handle situations. Something I have always struggled with.
In the past I could be pushed and pusher but push me too far I and that was it. Always remember the look on a manager's face when he heard what I really thought |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This type of thread mostly gets the response of ....
Grrrrrrrrrrrr im really hard but have self control too .... but Grrrrrrrrrrr if you make me mad oh Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr on you.
grrrrr hulk smaaaaaaaaash
Ha ha been a while since seen hulk smash "
smaaaaaaaaaaaash  |
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"Standing up for yourself is just natural....learnt from an early age I think.......
"Oooooo you best watch out for me when I'm angry" is just a pissing contest...... Some people are just confrontational that's not the same thing "
I've not a scooby doo what you mean....but heh mush don't be starting on me!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Recent work issue. I thought let it slide but then i got angry saw red and decided “no i will make my thoughts clear”
In life do you stand up for yourself or shy away from confrontation?
"
I'm very hotblooded, but mild mannered, calm and empathetic. I can see why people lose it, so before I complain/stick up for myself, I have a bit of a think first.
Sometimes I'll allow someone to behave a certain way, for a certain amount of time.. before pulling them up on it.
I try to do so respectfully and with consideration as to what may be going on in there personal lives.
I pity ANYONE who is rude or insulting to me though. I'm Mr Placcid/Chilledout/Relaxed.. but if you come at me, you'll get your own venom back ten-fold. I have an eclectic selection of insults and I can think quite quickly on the spot.
Probably why I've been on the receiving end of the Iron Fists of the Forum police so often.
The way I look at it is.. if you started it, I've the right to end it. Forum rules, or not, societies rules, or not.
Treat others like you'd like to be treated yourself, so if you're rude, I can only assume you want it back. I'm providing a good service. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Standing up for yourself is just natural....learnt from an early age I think.......
"Oooooo you best watch out for me when I'm angry" is just a pissing contest...... Some people are just confrontational that's not the same thing
I've not a scooby doo what you mean....but heh mush don't be starting on me!
"
lol pud em up |
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If its an important issue, I'll stand up for myself then and there. If it's something petty, I'll let it go, but I will lose any respect for the person responsible, so chances are, it'll have deeper consequences further down the line. |
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"Standing up for yourself is just natural....learnt from an early age I think.......
"Oooooo you best watch out for me when I'm angry" is just a pissing contest...... Some people are just confrontational that's not the same thing
I've not a scooby doo what you mean....but heh mush don't be starting on me!
lol pud em up "
Haaaaaa |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Recent work issue. I thought let it slide but then i got angry saw red and decided “no i will make my thoughts clear”
In life do you stand up for yourself or shy away from confrontation?
I'm very hotblooded, but mild mannered, calm and empathetic. I can see why people lose it, so before I complain/stick up for myself, I have a bit of a think first.
Sometimes I'll allow someone to behave a certain way, for a certain amount of time.. before pulling them up on it.
I try to do so respectfully and with consideration as to what may be going on in there personal lives.
I pity ANYONE who is rude or insulting to me though. I'm Mr Placcid/Chilledout/Relaxed.. but if you come at me, you'll get your own venom back ten-fold. I have an eclectic selection of insults and I can think quite quickly on the spot.
Probably why I've been on the receiving end of the Iron Fists of the Forum police so often.
The way I look at it is.. if you started it, I've the right to end it. Forum rules, or not, societies rules, or not.
Treat others like you'd like to be treated yourself, so if you're rude, I can only assume you want it back. I'm providing a good service. "
That post was so good I read it twice! Can definitely relate to a few things in there. Allowing someone to behave in a certain way is great for as an example "liars" if you pull them up on it straight away you won't know how deep they can go. If it's just basic or to the extreme "compulsive liar" there was a thread on this which covered the different views/opinions.
I am one level below what the above poster said in terms of "if they started, I have right to end it" a few enjoy confrontation. They get off on it... it's what they do. So when "they" forumites came for me years ago... (some are still on here posting) I didn't engage directly to end it. I bypassed them. All of them and carried on enjoying my journey/time. They were getting annoyed thinking why can't we get rid of him from the forums like they did to others... it got to the point where they went to "war" with each other... groups splitting up... all sorts of shenanigans were going on.
So many lies/petty things. They tried all sorts. Through that experience I learnt how they operate/conduct themselves so on occasions I post sharing my knowledge for others on what tell tell signs to look out for and/or how to overcome them. People go offline in groups for a reason... will post that topic in another thread because important.
I personally don't mind if "they" come for me because if the unwanted negative "eyes" are on me it takes the heat off others... in the past I defended people because if I witness e.g. 6/7 forumites targeting or picking on an individual that is a no no. I have zero tolerance for any form of abuse/bullies on/offline. Friend or no friend there are no excuses for grouping up to hurt individuals. Everyone has to take a stand at some point. Only so much you can take. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I usually do... Except when I am at the barber ! I swear sometimes I feel like he does whatever he fuck wants with my haircut without listening to what I say to him !! Yet I don't say anything... I pay...go out and being pissed off all day |
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"Standing up for myself doesn't work so I don't bother.
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It would. It's not the getting your own way that matters. It's the feeling better about yourself when you have expressed yourself civily. It's the respect people will have for you. It's the realising that the shitheads that ruin your day are shitheads and what can you do with a shithead? xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Standing up for myself doesn't work so I don't bother.
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Sometimes someone else standing in your corner and standing up for you is enough to make you believe it's worth it x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Standing up for myself doesn't work so I don't bother.
At least tell the guy that a social will be a social
Sacre bleu! vous vilain homme assumant!"
You could add that I have a nice penis ! |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Recent work issue. I thought let it slide but then i got angry saw red and decided “no i will make my thoughts clear”
In life do you stand up for yourself or shy away from confrontation?
"
I think it can be quite useful to reflect and see if the world is throwing you the same lessons time and again, perhaps it’s time to handle it differently this time and that’s the lesson to learn. So if you usually blow up or react then perhaps try not doing so, but if you usually let things go and are the one to absorb issues for the sake of not causing a scene or being a burden then this time perhaps what the lesson to be learned is, it’s time to assert yourself and get something on the record about what you will and won’t tolerate. This doesn’t have to be about vilifying someone but about helping educate someone in the negative impact they’re having on others/you or simply asking someone to be and do better.
If it’s time to assert and you usually let things slide for the greater good, remember that you’re actually setting a legacy for yourself and others of better, and safety in asking for better, by tackling this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Standing up for myself doesn't work so I don't bother.
It would. It's not the getting your own way that matters. It's the feeling better about yourself when you have expressed yourself civily. It's the respect people will have for you. It's the realising that the shitheads that ruin your day are shitheads and what can you do with a shithead? xx
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Oh Granny.  The shitheads can ruin your life. X
But yeah I did express myself to one person and even though he didn't care I did feel better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Standing up for myself doesn't work so I don't bother.
Sometimes someone else standing in your corner and standing up for you is enough to make you believe it's worth it x"
I don't have that. There are nice people though. X |
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For the main I’m very easy going and I don’t lose my cool very often and even then you have to push my buttons ALOT.
At work always the consummate professional.
I will stand my ground where I think it’s necessary but would rather resolution be found. Hard pushed I will go head to head....that’s very rare mind
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lol I’ve patience of a saint x
