FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > New talent onto the forums

New talent onto the forums

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

So I’ve been here for a short while now and am having a blast.

Following another thread and something a certain Mr Touch raised about forumites all thinking the same. Personally, im not convinced about that, but it is true that it’s basically the same people posting and getting all cosy with each other. Fine, get it that you’ve probably known each other ages and blah blah.

However it’s very excluding for newbies to the forum.

Can’t we encourage new posters more? Can’t you pm your lovey, dovey, cliquey messages to each other? Thoughts please

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wish more newbies joined in. Everyone starts somewhere

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So I’ve been here for a short while now and am having a blast.

However it’s very excluding for newbies to the forum.

Can’t we encourage new posters more? Can’t you pm your lovey, dovey, cliquey messages to each other? Thoughts please

Agreed, the forums are often very intimidating when you're trying to "get known", to quote a loathesome phrase. Most of my posts still seem to disappear under a tide of mutual adoration, especially when I'm trying to talk to people on event threads.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wish more newbies joined in. Everyone starts somewhere "

I remember when I first started joining in with the forums I disagreed with a very popular formite on a subject they asked advice on. I got sent a tone of abuse via pm by them and their pals. Put me off the forums for aaaaaaaaages.

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By *aven RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

I don't think all forumites think the same, that's why I like the forums, so many different opinions x

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

Come on lurkers, say hello.

It’s love a lurker day.

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By *_RiderMan over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I've been trying to join in and finding everyone seems to reply to each other and when I reply or quote it's ignored.

I will see the irony if this one follows in the same vein

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By *astyEricMan over a year ago

Hull

I'm just getting post like.

"that old chestnut"

Well sorry but it's new to me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've been trying to join in and finding everyone seems to reply to each other and when I reply or quote it's ignored.

I will see the irony if this one follows in the same vein

Hello

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"So I’ve been here for a short while now and am having a blast.

However it’s very excluding for newbies to the forum.

Can’t we encourage new posters more? Can’t you pm your lovey, dovey, cliquey messages to each other? Thoughts please

You’re right though about the importance of getting known. Keep posting and I’ll keep an eye out for you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So I’ve been here for a short while now and am having a blast.

However it’s very excluding for newbies to the forum.

Can’t we encourage new posters more? Can’t you pm your lovey, dovey, cliquey messages to each other? Thoughts please

"
lol hey nice thought

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wish more newbies joined in. Everyone starts somewhere

Same happened to me and sometimes still does.

I don't think we all think or post the same but sometimes having an opinion different to some forumites just isn't worth the hassle.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The pond is very small in here and many are good friends or couples that enjoy forum banter.. not sure what you’d be left with if you removed that.

Maybe focus on extending the pool rather than deride those that actually like each other.

Saff

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I wish more newbies joined in. Everyone starts somewhere

Hear you sister

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By *amissCouple over a year ago

chelmsford

"I've been trying to join in and finding everyone seems to reply to each other and when I reply or quote it's ignored.

I will see the irony if this one follows in the same vein

Hello

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wish more newbies joined in. Everyone starts somewhere

That happened to me on a certain Fet site. A woman took offence at a comment I made and her friends flooded me with abuse and threats of violence. I left the site after a few days of that.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan over a year ago

Liverpool

Relatively new to the forums. Does sometimes appear to be a bit 'cliquey' on some threads. Most often the things I post get tumble - or maybe I'm just boring!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've been trying to join in and finding everyone seems to reply to each other and when I reply or quote it's ignored.

I will see the irony if this one follows in the same vein

Hello

"
Hi how's your tan

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wish more newbies joined in. Everyone starts somewhere

Same happened to me and sometimes still does.

I don't think we all think or post the same but sometimes having an opinion different to some forumites just isn't worth the hassle. "

Pretty much! Sometimes I’ll type something out and I think ‘you know what, it’s not even worth the hassle’

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By *heHookyMonsterMan over a year ago

Liverpool

"I've been trying to join in and finding everyone seems to reply to each other and when I reply or quote it's ignored.

I will see the irony if this one follows in the same vein

Very often the way!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The pond is very small in here and many are good friends or couples that enjoy forum banter.. not sure what you’d be left with if you removed that.

Maybe focus on extending the pool rather than deride those that actually like each other.

Saff"

I get that but when a personal conversation takes over a thread? I pm the person then.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We always try and include and encourage the lurkers...

But they are lurkers for a reason..

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By *wesomepearWoman over a year ago

Northamptonshire

I’m a lurker/occasional poster.

I don’t feel like I’ve been ignored when I have joined in, but I do tend to bite my tongue if I don’t agree and not get involved.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The pond is very small in here and many are good friends or couples that enjoy forum banter.. not sure what you’d be left with if you removed that.

Maybe focus on extending the pool rather than deride those that actually like each other.

Saff

I get that but when a personal conversation takes over a thread? I pm the person then."

Or when a handful of people take over a thread, just chatting about nonsense that has nothing to do with the subject. I’ve done it a few times, I reaaaaaaally try not too cause it annoys me when folk do it to my threads

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By *amissCouple over a year ago

chelmsford

"I've been trying to join in and finding everyone seems to reply to each other and when I reply or quote it's ignored.

I will see the irony if this one follows in the same vein

Hello

Hi how's your tan "

Off to Corfu in couple of weeks, so be topping it up then

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

"I've been trying to join in and finding everyone seems to reply to each other and when I reply or quote it's ignored.

I will see the irony if this one follows in the same vein

Very often the way! "

Yes, even people that have been here years will often post things that get ignored. It’s just how it goes. It’s important not to take it personally.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I'm all for encouraging newbies and trying to make them feel welcome, although you also can't discount the long term regulars who *do* know and bounce off each other.

I tend to think of the forums a bit like a local pub, in that you get the groups of regulars who are always here, the passing drinkers who pop in for a pint when they fancy one, the people who pop in for a drink but don't like the decor so aren't seen again, the people who happened to be passing and thought they'd give it a try, some of whom keep coming back, some who don't.

To an extent as much as it's down to the regulars to make others feel welcome though, it's also down to the newbies to make the effort to mix in and get themselves known.

In the three years I've been here, pretty much all of it spent on the forums, I've seen people come and go, and one group be replaced by another and whilst there are times the regulars can be hostile to outsiders, it's usually most prevalent when someone comes in being offensive or outspoken in a bad way.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The pond is very small in here and many are good friends or couples that enjoy forum banter.. not sure what you’d be left with if you removed that.

Maybe focus on extending the pool rather than deride those that actually like each other.

Saff

I get that but when a personal conversation takes over a thread? I pm the person then."

Happens constantly and not sure what can be done about it tbh.. I think more new faces would water it down. At the moment it’s the same faces all of the time. Seriously needs a recruitment drive..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've been trying to join in and finding everyone seems to reply to each other and when I reply or quote it's ignored.

I will see the irony if this one follows in the same vein

Hello

Hi how's your tan

Off to Corfu in couple of weeks, so be topping it up then

"
you'll have a way to go to surpass me lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The pond is very small in here and many are good friends or couples that enjoy forum banter.. not sure what you’d be left with if you removed that.

Maybe focus on extending the pool rather than deride those that actually like each other.

Saff"

I kinda get what your saying but iv been told many times I'm too new and need to get involved more! Seriously what more can I do?

I go to socials, I comment daily on a variety of threads.

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By *irth.Minge.FireMan over a year ago

Seen in far off places

I don't believe I think the same as many forumites...

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

"The pond is very small in here and many are good friends or couples that enjoy forum banter.. not sure what you’d be left with if you removed that.

Maybe focus on extending the pool rather than deride those that actually like each other.

Saff

I get that but when a personal conversation takes over a thread? I pm the person then.

Happens constantly and not sure what can be done about it tbh.. I think more new faces would water it down. At the moment it’s the same faces all of the time. Seriously needs a recruitment drive.."

Yes, especially women not too far from Bristol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm new! Only been on the forums a few days. I really like them, you see alot of the same people but I think everyone is pretty nice and respectful.

Everyone gets involved if it's a good topic I think.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The pond is very small in here and many are good friends or couples that enjoy forum banter.. not sure what you’d be left with if you removed that.

Maybe focus on extending the pool rather than deride those that actually like each other.

Saff

I get that but when a personal conversation takes over a thread? I pm the person then."

Unfortunately it happens, and yes its annoying... usually the people who are prone to doing it are all matey and don't have a clue they are doing it and all gang together when they are called out over it...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I've been trying to join in and finding everyone seems to reply to each other and when I reply or quote it's ignored.

I will see the irony if this one follows in the same vein

Very often the way!

Yes, even people that have been here years will often post things that get ignored. It’s just how it goes. It’s important not to take it personally. "

I disagree. When you’re new to the forums, you’re vulnerable and the regulars should realise this.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm new! Only been on the forums a few days. I really like them, you see alot of the same people but I think everyone is pretty nice and respectful.

Everyone gets involved if it's a good topic I think."

Hello and welcome.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The pond is very small in here and many are good friends or couples that enjoy forum banter.. not sure what you’d be left with if you removed that.

Maybe focus on extending the pool rather than deride those that actually like each other.

Saff

I kinda get what your saying but iv been told many times I'm too new and need to get involved more! Seriously what more can I do?

I go to socials, I comment daily on a variety of threads. "

Too new?!? Bloody hell you’ve been here longer than me! I only posted in December.. x

I’m ignored as much as anyone now I’m in a couple..

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By *amissCouple over a year ago

chelmsford

"I'm new! Only been on the forums a few days. I really like them, you see alot of the same people but I think everyone is pretty nice and respectful.

Everyone gets involved if it's a good topic I think."

Welcome to the forums, hope you enjoy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm new! Only been on the forums a few days. I really like them, you see alot of the same people but I think everyone is pretty nice and respectful.

Everyone gets involved if it's a good topic I think."

Welcome!

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By *edmark07Man over a year ago

liverpool

Nice thread op. Hopefully it will attract a new audience. Quite new myself and I've been through that whole ignored and tumble thing quite a bit but it's just about posting something interesting, humourous or profound and the clique accept you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The pond is very small in here and many are good friends or couples that enjoy forum banter.. not sure what you’d be left with if you removed that.

Maybe focus on extending the pool rather than deride those that actually like each other.

Saff

I get that but when a personal conversation takes over a thread? I pm the person then.

Happens constantly and not sure what can be done about it tbh.. I think more new faces would water it down. At the moment it’s the same faces all of the time. Seriously needs a recruitment drive..

Yes, especially women not too far from Bristol.

Ha ha get your status updated to recruit some!!

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By *uciyassMan over a year ago

sheffield

Usually when new formulites come on 90% are cocky and looking for a shag. Well that’s what I think

Aside from that most of us who post do it for a laugh and to help others out if possible or provide some kind of advice

Unfortunately any newbie who post a thread “ look at my profile is it ok” or “ why don’t I get replies” will inevitably get ripped to shreds by light hearted banter

Well that what I think

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

"I've been trying to join in and finding everyone seems to reply to each other and when I reply or quote it's ignored.

I will see the irony if this one follows in the same vein

Very often the way!

Yes, even people that have been here years will often post things that get ignored. It’s just how it goes. It’s important not to take it personally.

I disagree. When you’re new to the forums, you’re vulnerable and the regulars should realise this."

Then we agree! But not every post will get picked up. So it’s important to keep trying.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The pond is very small in here and many are good friends or couples that enjoy forum banter.. not sure what you’d be left with if you removed that.

Maybe focus on extending the pool rather than deride those that actually like each other.

Saff

I get that but when a personal conversation takes over a thread? I pm the person then.

Happens constantly and not sure what can be done about it tbh.. I think more new faces would water it down. At the moment it’s the same faces all of the time. Seriously needs a recruitment drive.."

Come on then. How we going to do it? My list of people I would like to have sex with needs growing and as I pick them from the forums, the urge is real...

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By *carlet_woman_xxWoman over a year ago

somewhere

I'm new. I put threads up. Chat to loads. I'm having fun

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The pond is very small in here and many are good friends or couples that enjoy forum banter.. not sure what you’d be left with if you removed that.

Maybe focus on extending the pool rather than deride those that actually like each other.

Saff

I kinda get what your saying but iv been told many times I'm too new and need to get involved more! Seriously what more can I do?

I go to socials, I comment daily on a variety of threads.

Too new?!? Bloody hell you’ve been here longer than me! I only posted in December.. x

I’m ignored as much as anyone now I’m in a couple.. "

Exactly my point.

I have noticed some people's attitudes towards have changed since iv been with Ash. Some for better, some for worse.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The pond is very small in here and many are good friends or couples that enjoy forum banter.. not sure what you’d be left with if you removed that.

Maybe focus on extending the pool rather than deride those that actually like each other.

Saff

I get that but when a personal conversation takes over a thread? I pm the person then.

Happens constantly and not sure what can be done about it tbh.. I think more new faces would water it down. At the moment it’s the same faces all of the time. Seriously needs a recruitment drive..

Come on then. How we going to do it? My list of people I would like to have sex with needs growing and as I pick them from the forums, the urge is real..."

Status updates to inform people of the lounges existence.. and a thread to say hello??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m a lurker/occasional poster.

I don’t feel like I’ve been ignored when I have joined in, but I do tend to bite my tongue if I don’t agree and not get involved. "

Same here. Some of the threads you can just see how it's going to end up so it's easier to just move away from that thread lol

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By *eavenscentitCouple over a year ago

barnstaple

"I've been trying to join in and finding everyone seems to reply to each other and when I reply or quote it's ignored.

I will see the irony if this one follows in the same vein

I am ignored mostly but, I hold opinions others may dislike. I am never part of the popular group and, that's ok, I still enjoy reading etc. It makes me chuckle most days.

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

"The pond is very small in here and many are good friends or couples that enjoy forum banter.. not sure what you’d be left with if you removed that.

Maybe focus on extending the pool rather than deride those that actually like each other.

Saff

I get that but when a personal conversation takes over a thread? I pm the person then.

Happens constantly and not sure what can be done about it tbh.. I think more new faces would water it down. At the moment it’s the same faces all of the time. Seriously needs a recruitment drive..

Yes, especially women not too far from Bristol.

Ha ha get your status updated to recruit some!!

Good idea. It’s done.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm new. I put threads up. Chat to loads. I'm having fun

You’ve got stuck in

Saff

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The pond is very small in here and many are good friends or couples that enjoy forum banter.. not sure what you’d be left with if you removed that.

Maybe focus on extending the pool rather than deride those that actually like each other.

Saff

I get that but when a personal conversation takes over a thread? I pm the person then.

Very good point. I don’t think some of them realise it... however some exclude on purpose.

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

I'm not sure Op. I can see what you're saying but only agree to a certain extent.

You've posted in flirty ways to other forum users before - you tend to interact with those who you probably interact with away from the forum more. Those you are interested in. I think it's human nature.

I'm going to agree with GeminiMan on this one (fuck yes I am). I think that the onus falls on those who want to get involved to get involved and the forum regulars to interact with them also. So both parties to put effort in.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nice thread op. Hopefully it will attract a new audience. Quite new myself and I've been through that whole ignored and tumble thing quite a bit but it's just about posting something interesting, humourous or profound and the clique accept you

Exactly.

Welcome by the way.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Relatively new to the forums. Does sometimes appear to be a bit 'cliquey' on some threads. Most often the things I post get tumble - or maybe I'm just boring!

The problem is it’s difficult to comment on everyone’s posts and unrealistic so we as humans have a tendency to gravitate towards opinions we agree with or strongly disagree with. There is no doubt there can be a pack mentality at times, not necessarily consciously either. Groupthink is common in these kind of settings. As people come on here for fun, and we mainly have fun with friends and people we know, it’s natural to gravitate towards them.

I endeavour to be inclusive but probably fail miserably, because I can’t afford the time nor have the energy to be inclusive all the time. Also the forum software doesn’t enable us easily to acknowledge a post we like or don’t like without replying and quoting. Editing quotes is also a pain in the arse in a phone, so that doesn’t help as posts become massive and all you want to do is make a comment on a particular aspect of a post perhaps.

Anyway I’ve waffled on....just keep posting

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The pond is very small in here and many are good friends or couples that enjoy forum banter.. not sure what you’d be left with if you removed that.

Maybe focus on extending the pool rather than deride those that actually like each other.

Saff

I kinda get what your saying but iv been told many times I'm too new and need to get involved more! Seriously what more can I do?

I go to socials, I comment daily on a variety of threads. "
I love your posts

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By *asmeenTV/TS over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I'm new. I put threads up. Chat to loads. I'm having fun

"
Fan xxxx xxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm new. I put threads up. Chat to loads. I'm having fun

Ok. You’re on the recruitment team too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm not sure Op. I can see what you're saying but only agree to a certain extent.

Well put.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't forget the lampposts pissers!

Steer well clear of them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The pond is very small in here and many are good friends or couples that enjoy forum banter.. not sure what you’d be left with if you removed that.

Maybe focus on extending the pool rather than deride those that actually like each other.

Saff

I kinda get what your saying but iv been told many times I'm too new and need to get involved more! Seriously what more can I do?

I go to socials, I comment daily on a variety of threads.

Too new?!? Bloody hell you’ve been here longer than me! I only posted in December.. x

I’m ignored as much as anyone now I’m in a couple..

Exactly my point.

I have noticed some people's attitudes towards have changed since iv been with Ash. Some for better, some for worse. "

Big time.. if you’re not available to flirt with some have no idea what to say so just ignore you x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm new to the forums. some i read and dont comment on because the 'in' jokes take over

some I comment on but am ignored

however I'm trying

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The pond is very small in here and many are good friends or couples that enjoy forum banter.. not sure what you’d be left with if you removed that.

Maybe focus on extending the pool rather than deride those that actually like each other.

Saff

I kinda get what your saying but iv been told many times I'm too new and need to get involved more! Seriously what more can I do?

I go to socials, I comment daily on a variety of threads. I love your posts "

Oh ta, OK I take it all back! I'm beloved on here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’m a lurker/occasional poster.

I don’t feel like I’ve been ignored when I have joined in, but I do tend to bite my tongue if I don’t agree and not get involved.

Same here. Some of the threads you can just see how it's going to end up so it's easier to just move away from that thread lol"

No no no. Pleeeease post

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm not new or old here but I've virtually stopped posting because I get either hammered, stalk trolled or ignored whenever I do....

From what I see the "clique" is just the increasing number of single, frustrated, needy women who won't engage with anyone unless they're eligible and sexually available....

It's not just shit here exclusively for the newbies, innit

The place needs a few more single male characters imho

Call me cynical

Xteve

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm new to the forums. some i read and dont comment on because the 'in' jokes take over

some I comment on but am ignored

however I'm trying

It happens all the time, just keep posting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I've been trying to join in and finding everyone seems to reply to each other and when I reply or quote it's ignored.

I will see the irony if this one follows in the same vein

I am ignored mostly but, I hold opinions others may dislike. I am never part of the popular group and, that's ok, I still enjoy reading etc. It makes me chuckle most days."

Please post

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve been here for a few Weeks and have tried joining into a few but find myself reading and lurking more cuz it’s hard to keep up with the massive amount of replies lol

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By *wist my nipplesCouple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

We just post whenever and wherever we feel we have something to say. Sometimes it’s responded to, sometimes not. We’re not using it as a base for meets though so either way it doesn’t much matter - we just like joining in and have had some lovely chats along the way

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm not new or old here but I've virtually stopped posting because I get either hammered, stalk trolled or ignored whenever I do....

From what I see the "clique" is just the increasing number of single, frustrated, needy women who won't engage with anyone unless they're eligible and sexually available....

It's not just shit here exclusively for the newbies, innit

The place needs a few more single male characters imho

Call me cynical

Xteve "

You’re on the recruitment team too then

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm new. I put threads up. Chat to loads. I'm having fun

The gagging order is just being processed

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't forget the lampposts pissers!

Steer well clear of them

I'd never head that term before I joined the forums.

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

"I'm new to the forums. some i read and dont comment on because the 'in' jokes take over

some I comment on but am ignored

however I'm trying

Keep trying. It’s lovely to see you here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm not new or old here but I've virtually stopped posting because I get either hammered, stalk trolled or ignored whenever I do....

From what I see the "clique" is just the increasing number of single, frustrated, needy women who won't engage with anyone unless they're eligible and sexually available....

It's not just shit here exclusively for the newbies, innit

The place needs a few more single male characters imho

Call me cynical

Xteve "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm new to the forums. some i read and dont comment on because the 'in' jokes take over

some I comment on but am ignored

however I'm trying

Welcome

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

"I'm not new or old here but I've virtually stopped posting because I get either hammered, stalk trolled or ignored whenever I do....

From what I see the "clique" is just the increasing number of single, frustrated, needy women who won't engage with anyone unless they're eligible and sexually available....

It's not just shit here exclusively for the newbies, innit

The place needs a few more single male characters imho

Call me cynical

Xteve "

Cynical.

I think that how you post affects how people respond to you. Saff is taken and gets a lot of positive responses to her threads and her posts.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've been trying to join in and finding everyone seems to reply to each other and when I reply or quote it's ignored.

I will see the irony if this one follows in the same vein

Very often the way!

Yes, even people that have been here years will often post things that get ignored. It’s just how it goes. It’s important not to take it personally.

I disagree. When you’re new to the forums, you’re vulnerable and the regulars should realise this."
Women will always be accepted and men will generally always support a woman's view unless it's a criticism of men lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’ve been here for a few Weeks and have tried joining into a few but find myself reading and lurking more cuz it’s hard to keep up with the massive amount of replies lol

Just Do it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m a lurker/occasional poster.

I don’t feel like I’ve been ignored when I have joined in, but I do tend to bite my tongue if I don’t agree and not get involved.

Same here. Some of the threads you can just see how it's going to end up so it's easier to just move away from that thread lol

No no no. Pleeeease post

I will lol. My couple's profile was better known so it's like starting all over again with this account. But it will happen lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We always try and include and encourage the lurkers...

But they are lurkers for a reason..

Because they've been shoved into the background by the forum prima donnas?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I get involved from time to time and others I just read and move on xx don't feel intimidated at all just depends on my mood and the time I have xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm new, the forums are entertaining and often amusing. I think reading forums are good for filtering out people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't forget the lampposts pissers!

Steer well clear of them

I'd never head that term before I joined the forums.

Blowing smoke up peoples arses... that's another phrase peculiar to the forums

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I do try to join in but generally go unheard...can be disheartening for forum newbies so just tend to lurk now...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’ve been here for a few Weeks and have tried joining into a few but find myself reading and lurking more cuz it’s hard to keep up with the massive amount of replies lol

I have the same problem after 5 years and have a hoard of fake Bifem PAs to do my posting for me.

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By *elshsunsWoman over a year ago

Flintshire

"I've been trying to join in and finding everyone seems to reply to each other and when I reply or quote it's ignored.

I will see the irony if this one follows in the same vein

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By *_RiderMan over a year ago

Shrewsbury

"I've been trying to join in and finding everyone seems to reply to each other and when I reply or quote it's ignored.

I will see the irony if this one follows in the same vein

Hello"

Ah hello back at you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've been trying to join in and finding everyone seems to reply to each other and when I reply or quote it's ignored.

I will see the irony if this one follows in the same vein

Very often the way!

Yes, even people that have been here years will often post things that get ignored. It’s just how it goes. It’s important not to take it personally.

I disagree. When you’re new to the forums, you’re vulnerable and the regulars should realise this."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've been trying to join in and finding everyone seems to reply to each other and when I reply or quote it's ignored.

I will see the irony if this one follows in the same vein

Hello

Ah hello back at you."

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By *_RiderMan over a year ago

Shrewsbury

"I've been trying to join in and finding everyone seems to reply to each other and when I reply or quote it's ignored.

I will see the irony if this one follows in the same vein

Hello

And hello to you guys also.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've been trying to join in and finding everyone seems to reply to each other and when I reply or quote it's ignored.

I will see the irony if this one follows in the same vein

Very often the way!

Yes, even people that have been here years will often post things that get ignored. It’s just how it goes. It’s important not to take it personally.

I disagree. When you’re new to the forums, you’re vulnerable and the regulars should realise this.Women will always be accepted and men will generally always support a woman's view unless it's a criticism of men lol "

I think you’ll find that really isn’t always the case at all, however there are plenty of men who do themselves no favours.

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By *amissCouple over a year ago

chelmsford

"I've been trying to join in and finding everyone seems to reply to each other and when I reply or quote it's ignored.

I will see the irony if this one follows in the same vein

Hello

And hello to you guys also."

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By *erotic_adventureMan over a year ago

London, Scotland & The North,

Always willing to say hi and get to know peeps better

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wish more newbies joined in. Everyone starts somewhere

This is a very frequent thing for many people.

Despite what people say there IS a clique and you either fit it or you don't.

I don't, but I still post if i feel like it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm new to the forums. some i read and dont comment on because the 'in' jokes take over

some I comment on but am ignored

however I'm trying

Keep trying. It’s lovely to see you here. "

thank you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As a newbie on the forums I’ve found a better class of fabber posting on the forums.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You have to be a massive pain in the ass, I was ignored for the first few hours I joined the forums and to be honest I felt like maybe I was better off being a lurker. But after I started my 8th thread of the day, everyone come round to my way of thinking and realised how great I am. It took a while to get my first reply and quote, but since then I haven’t looked back.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm new to the forums. some i read and dont comment on because the 'in' jokes take over

some I comment on but am ignored

however I'm trying

Welcome

"
.

thank you & hello

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm new to the forums. some i read and dont comment on because the 'in' jokes take over

some I comment on but am ignored

however I'm trying

Keep trying. It’s lovely to see you here.

thank you

"
I love seeing you

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I do try to join in but generally go unheard...can be disheartening for forum newbies so just tend to lurk now..."

I think it can happen to anyone though, particularly on fast moving threads, or ones where the bulk of opinion is swayed one way, or where there's no response needed because you've made a valid point that doesn't need further comment.

To give an example, with the exception of Meli agreeing with me (which I'm not sure I've got over the shock of yet

) my previous post in this thread has been largely ignored - doesn't bother me in the slightest that it has (it was my usually waffly essay where a sentence would have done) but it does happen to all of us.

The key is just to keep plugging away, and you'll actually be surprised how much you are noticed, even though you think you're not - I've certainly noticed your posts before now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm new. Have a laugh.

Is infinitely better than some kik groups I used to be in.

With all their clicky bollocks.

And I was admin in a couple of those.

At least on here. The rules, like em or not are adhered to mainly.

I'm probably not known that well because I don't have an avatar.

I can live with that.

As long as I can chip in occasionally.

Is still amusing.

Any one that wants to put a face to the name can always just ask me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You have to be a massive pain in the ass, I was ignored for the first few hours I joined the forums and to be honest I felt like maybe I was better off being a lurker. But after I started my 8th thread of the day, everyone come round to my way of thinking and realised how great I am. It took a while to get my first reply and quote, but since then I haven’t looked back.

This genuinely made me laugh, and I never laugh.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm new. Have a laugh.

Is infinitely better than some kik groups I used to be in.

With all their clicky bollocks.

And I was admin in a couple of those.

At least on here. The rules, like em or not are adhered to mainly.

I'm probably not known that well because I don't have an avatar.

I can live with that.

As long as I can chip in occasionally.

Is still amusing.

Any one that wants to put a face to the name can always just ask me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I haven't posted for a while but I do enjoy trying to get involved every now and then

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wish more newbies joined in. Everyone starts somewhere

This is a very frequent thing for many people.

Despite what people say there IS a clique and you either fit it or you don't.

I don't, but I still post if i feel like it

"
this

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By *he riverdeep69Couple over a year ago

North west ish

The irony, OP is that alot of the regular posters probably have never met in real life. The illusion of friendship on the internet is a strange one. Just post what you are interested in and don't get drawn into any popularity contest. It's all smoke and mirrors on here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Always been a forum lurker. I've added to the threads occassionally but I found that your messages tend to get lost in the endless sea of Friends Messages and people having full blown conversations with each other. Plus when people quote others entire messages, it soon fills the screen up.

In saying that though, I was usually found on live chat and I've noticed that times change and people/friends move on. My personal circumstances changed so I'm no longer a part of the lifestyle so to speak, but I do like to have a nose of what's going on still from time to time. So this all suits

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Saff. Took your advice and added it to my update. Just getting pmed now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This genuinely made me laugh, and I never laugh."

See lurkers, this is what I’m Capable of. You too, can be like me, with a little bit of Determination and an compromising attitude.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thank you! Hello to you to

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Saff. Took your advice and added it to my update. Just getting pmed now

Ha ha good luck with that!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wish more newbies joined in. Everyone starts somewhere

This is a very frequent thing for many people.

Despite what people say there IS a clique and you either fit it or you don't.

I don't, but I still post if i feel like it

this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Saff. Took your advice and added it to my update. Just getting pmed now

I’m the same

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This genuinely made me laugh, and I never laugh.

See lurkers, this is what I’m Capable of. You too, can be like me, with a little bit of Determination and an compromising attitude."

Even I’m laughing now

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By *uciyassMan over a year ago

sheffield

"Saff. Took your advice and added it to my update. Just getting pmed now

And I’m not surprised either lol x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Saff. Took your advice and added it to my update. Just getting pmed now

I’m the same

At least we’ll gontonsleep tonight knowing we tried

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This genuinely made me laugh, and I never laugh.

See lurkers, this is what I’m Capable of. You too, can be like me, with a little bit of Determination and an compromising attitude.

Even I’m laughing now"

My work is done here, don’t forget to start a part 2 OP, cause I predict this thread will go the distance.

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By *musedforlifeMan over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I view the forums daily, have done since I joined. Never interacted much but made a conscious decision to post more and get involved trying to chat to others. I wont change my views to try and fit in though, if no one likes me, or what I say, tough. I wont lose sleep about not fitting in

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wish more newbies joined in. Everyone starts somewhere

This is a very frequent thing for many people.

Despite what people say there IS a clique and you either fit it or you don't.

I don't, but I still post if i feel like it

This

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wish more newbies joined in. Everyone starts somewhere

This is a very frequent thing for many people.

Despite what people say there IS a clique and you either fit it or you don't.

I don't, but I still post if i feel like it

this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I do try to join in but generally go unheard...can be disheartening for forum newbies so just tend to lurk now...

To give an example, with the exception of Meli agreeing with me (which I'm not sure I've got over the shock of yet

The key is just to keep plugging away, and you'll actually be surprised how much you are noticed, even though you think you're not - I've certainly noticed your posts before now

Then I shall keep plugging away until I’m a pain in the ass and people start talking to me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wish more newbies joined in. Everyone starts somewhere

This is a very frequent thing for many people.

Despite what people say there IS a clique and you either fit it or you don't.

I don't, but I still post if i feel like it

This

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

"I view the forums daily, have done since I joined. Never interacted much but made a conscious decision to post more and get involved trying to chat to others. I wont change my views to try and fit in though, if no one likes me, or what I say, tough. I wont lose sleep about not fitting in

I think as long as you express your views in a way that isn’t deliberately trying to score points off someone else then it makes for good discussion. So keep doing it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We were all new on here once. You'll always find people who know each other, will gravitate towards each other. It's not exclusive to fab. I don't believe in excluding others though. I think some take the fact that they dont get quoted very personally, when sometimes they are simply overlooked. It can take time to become a familiar name on the forums. You do see new names pop up and become a staple of the fab forums though, if they stick to it. When I initially started commenting, it was 6 years ago and most of those recognised names are no longer here. It just takes a little time and patience. No different to moving to a new area and introducing yourself to the 'local' folk.

Holly

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Saff. Took your advice and added it to my update. Just getting pmed now

I’m the same

I will put one up later but iv got such tight fillers, if by some miracle anyone wants to talk to me they will have to come to the forums!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I do try to join in but generally go unheard...can be disheartening for forum newbies so just tend to lurk now...

To give an example, with the exception of Meli agreeing with me (which I'm not sure I've got over the shock of yet

The key is just to keep plugging away, and you'll actually be surprised how much you are noticed, even though you think you're not - I've certainly noticed your posts before now

Then I shall keep plugging away until I’m a pain in the ass and people start talking to me

Or until someone asks to be a pain in your ass?

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By *musedforlifeMan over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I think as long as you express your views in a way that isn’t deliberately trying to score points off someone else then it makes for good discussion. So keep doing it. "

Cheers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im new, hello everybody x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Lurking

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By *ouplelooking99Couple over a year ago

leicerster

"Come on lurkers, say hello.

It’s love a lurker day. "

Hey x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im new, hello everybody x"

Hello

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Lurking"

Gherkin

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

"Then I shall keep plugging away until I’m a pain in the ass and people start talking to me

That's how it worked for me! Well actually I was an argumentative twat. Don't try that.

These things take time. I've not been responded to by the Op. I've only had one response to my post. I've been posting for donkeys. As wise old GM says it happens to all of us.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm not new or old here but I've virtually stopped posting because I get either hammered, stalk trolled or ignored whenever I do....

From what I see the "clique" is just the increasing number of single, frustrated, needy women who won't engage with anyone unless they're eligible and sexually available....

It's not just shit here exclusively for the newbies, innit

The place needs a few more single male characters imho

Call me cynical

Xteve

Cynical.

I think that how you post affects how people respond to you. Saff is taken and gets a lot of positive responses to her threads and her posts. "

I'm not whinging, not intentionally anyway lol, just explaining its the same challenge for old and new. Nobody should complain, you either get involved or you don't. Most newbies want the status that the regulars have and will eventually earn it if they're any good and then they'll "clique" all over posts with other regs. It's the life cycle of a forumite and some ppl should just enjoy their childhood lol

I'm not here to massage the egos of the oversensitive. Just here when I am here for giggles and old and new mates

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

"Come on lurkers, say hello.

It’s love a lurker day.

Hey x"

Welcome to the thread.

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By *astyEricMan over a year ago

Hull

"Lurking

Gherkin"

May be mistaken but that's different post

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I jump in get involved and get ignored most of the time but I will keep posting on things that peak my interest don’t bother me that much

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Guess I'm a 'Gemini Man' passing drinker. Dip in and out and have had some replies on comments but most pass by into the ether. I've said on similar threads that regulars forumites will always communicate easier with each other and that's not necessarily a clique. I'll continue to pop in the pub but not likely to have a dedicate stool at the bar.

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

"Im new, hello everybody x"

Hi. Good to see you

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

"I've been trying to join in and finding everyone seems to reply to each other and when I reply or quote it's ignored.

I will see the irony if this one follows in the same vein

We’ve all been there. Don’t give up.

Sometimes it can feel like you are getting lost in the mass amid comments, but also it could just be a response wasn’t warranted.

Keep posting and joining in where you wish

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple over a year ago

Cardiff

Great post!

The first thread I posted to I felt quite unwelcome I have to say.

Been here a short while now and feel much more confident about posting and have chatted to some really nice peeps both Male and female.

Jo x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im new, hello everybody x"

Hi Simon, if you want to get noticed, just keep reply and quoting me and telling me how hilarious I am, that’s your best way to get into the forum clique.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple over a year ago

North west ish

"I wish more newbies joined in. Everyone starts somewhere

Yep happened to us too. Makes me laugh tho cos the 'so called friends' were mega two faced, but hey ho gang mentality at its best. Just makes me post my own thing. People either agree or not. Either way we need more new people on here to shake things up.....so come on people.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

"I'm just getting post like.

"that old chestnut"

Well sorry but it's new to me

Keep posting topics you wish to discuss, it might have been done before but for a lot of us it can be a new subject.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wish more newbies joined in. Everyone starts somewhere

Yep!!! Makes me laugh as well

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Im new, hello everybody x

Hi Simon, if you want to get noticed, just keep reply and quoting me and telling me how hilarious I am, that’s your best way to get into the forum clique.

Simon. I have never acknowledged this person before. Do your own thing

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By *rviennaCouple over a year ago

Kent

As a newbie to the site and only recently got photos verified I find that you can start reading a thread and before you know it there are 100 posts! Someone may even have written this previously but I haven’t had chance to read them all!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Then I shall keep plugging away until I’m a pain in the ass and people start talking to me

That's how it worked for me! Well actually I was an argumentative twat. Don't try that.

These things take time. I've not been responded to by the Op. I've only had one response to my post. I've been posting for donkeys. As wise old GM says it happens to all of us."

Ahh but Meli. One you don’t need any help and two, I’m one hell of an argumentative twat

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

"I'm not sure Op. I can see what you're saying but only agree to a certain extent.

I can see what both you and GM are saying however, the point is even when the “newbies” post on a thread they are generally overlooked / ignored (whatever you would like to call it).

An example is the threads where it’s a simple as “say something about the poster above” so many times you see individuals picking those they want to respond to rather than the actual poster above.

So the newbies can make all the effort they like, but the regulars need to be accepting and also encouraging them to speak up and join in

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

A big shout out to all the old and new faces. To the new...welcome x

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By *othrockercplCouple over a year ago

Halloween Town

Old but never been in a clique.

Ms GR

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm not sure Op. I can see what you're saying but only agree to a certain extent.

I can see what both you and GM are saying however, the point is even when the “newbies” post on a thread they are generally overlooked / ignored (whatever you would like to call it).

So the newbies can make all the effort they like, but the regulars need to be accepting and also encouraging them to speak up and join in"

Beautifully explained with examples and everything

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

"I'm new to the forums. some i read and dont comment on because the 'in' jokes take over

some I comment on but am ignored

however I'm trying

Welcome and keep trying

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"As a newbie to the site and only recently got photos verified I find that you can start reading a thread and before you know it there are 100 posts! Someone may even have written this previously but I haven’t had chance to read them all!"

Just dive in

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

"I’m a lurker/occasional poster.

I don’t feel like I’ve been ignored when I have joined in, but I do tend to bite my tongue if I don’t agree and not get involved.

Same here. Some of the threads you can just see how it's going to end up so it's easier to just move away from that thread lol

No no no. Pleeeease post

Totally agree... you can see how it will end up, but if you / we don’t post it will never change

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By *carlet_woman_xxWoman over a year ago

somewhere

"I'm new. I put threads up. Chat to loads. I'm having fun

You’ve got stuck in

Saff "

Only way to do it. I don't do ignored

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im new, hello everybody x

Hi Simon, if you want to get noticed, just keep reply and quoting me and telling me how hilarious I am, that’s your best way to get into the forum clique.

Simon. I have never acknowledged this person before. Do your own thing

Simon, she messages all the time mate!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I jump in get involved and get ignored most of the time but I will keep posting on things that peak my interest don’t bother me that much"
.

Exactly. Wish I was as grown up as you. I just stick my nose in everywhere

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Im new, hello everybody x

Hi Simon, if you want to get noticed, just keep reply and quoting me and telling me how hilarious I am, that’s your best way to get into the forum clique.

Simon. I have never acknowledged this person before. Do your own thing

Simon, she messages all the time mate! "

Just messaged you Simon.

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By *carlet_woman_xxWoman over a year ago

somewhere

"I'm new. I put threads up. Chat to loads. I'm having fun

Fan xxxx xxxx"

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

"I'm not new or old here but I've virtually stopped posting because I get either hammered, stalk trolled or ignored whenever I do....

From what I see the "clique" is just the increasing number of single, frustrated, needy women who won't engage with anyone unless they're eligible and sexually available....

It's not just shit here exclusively for the newbies, innit

The place needs a few more single male characters imho

Call me cynical

Xteve "

Not cynical, some truth in what you say.

I will also be brave enough to say, and likely to get yelled at, but there is a sense of pack and sheep following mentality sometimes

Just be yourselves, post what you want to say (within the rules) and try to enjoy it

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

"I’ve been here for a few Weeks and have tried joining into a few but find myself reading and lurking more cuz it’s hard to keep up with the massive amount of replies lol

Keep posting and learn to read faster

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

"I do try to join in but generally go unheard...can be disheartening for forum newbies so just tend to lurk now..."

Hello and keep posting

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm not sure Op. I can see what you're saying but only agree to a certain extent.

I can see what both you and GM are saying however, the point is even when the “newbies” post on a thread they are generally overlooked / ignored (whatever you would like to call it).

So the newbies can make all the effort they like, but the regulars need to be accepting and also encouraging them to speak up and join in"

I only go on 'like the person above' thread when I'm looking for rejection

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By *i winkersCouple over a year ago

manchester

Ooo well I don't post very often except for events to be honest.... Definitely going to try to post more now.

Have had people from the forums get slightly patronising with us because of the amount of verifications we have. But saying that we have played with some of them as well.

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

"I'm going to agree with GeminiMan on this one (fuck yes I am). I think that the onus falls on those who want to get involved to get involved and the forum regulars to interact with them also. So both parties to put effort in.

I can see what both you and GM are saying however, the point is even when the “newbies” post on a thread they are generally overlooked / ignored (whatever you would like to call it).

So the newbies can make all the effort they like, but the regulars need to be accepting and also encouraging them to speak up and join in"

Hence why I said both parties need to put the effort in, not just the one (that being the newbies).

The examples you gave - sometimes it can be difficult to say something not so eyerolling generic about a newbie because you don't know them. When everyone is receiving "personal" compliments, I don't want to be the one says "they have red hair" for example.

I try and interact with newbies as much as I can in threads that interest me.

Instead of a them vs us thing I think if everyone was more mindful it could be a far more inclusive and welcoming forum. People naturally interact with those they 'know'/like more but yes regulars could be more welcoming. Newbies could make more of an effort.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I started by playing the word games and other simple posts, mark you haven't got much further but early days.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Always trying to get involved but must get skipped past!

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

"I'm not sure Op. I can see what you're saying but only agree to a certain extent.

I can see what both you and GM are saying however, the point is even when the “newbies” post on a thread they are generally overlooked / ignored (whatever you would like to call it).

So the newbies can make all the effort they like, but the regulars need to be accepting and also encouraging them to speak up and join in

Beautifully explained with examples and everything

Well you need to be constructive and examples always help

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm not new or old here but I've virtually stopped posting because I get either hammered, stalk trolled or ignored whenever I do....

From what I see the "clique" is just the increasing number of single, frustrated, needy women who won't engage with anyone unless they're eligible and sexually available....

It's not just shit here exclusively for the newbies, innit

The place needs a few more single male characters imho

Call me cynical

Xteve

Not cynical, some truth in what you say.

I will also be brave enough to say, and likely to get yelled at, but there is a sense of pack and sheep following mentality sometimes

Just be yourselves, post what you want to say (within the rules) and try to enjoy it

Fo sho!

I used to post utter bollocks on here as a single and certain women would be all over my posts. Now all our old mates are dead scared to talk to us except a few who seem to try to message privately on "other messaging apps" with a strange motivation to try to trip us up..... Pmsl

Xteve

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By *icetouch83Man over a year ago

swansea

I post when I feel like but today's not that day

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

"Ooo well I don't post very often except for events to be honest.... Definitely going to try to post more now.

Have had people from the forums get slightly patronising with us because of the amount of verifications we have. But saying that we have played with some of them as well.

Sorry you felt that way, how everyone uses fab is different, but just do what works for you, your veris are your business.

Look forward to seeing your posts

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

I can see what both you and GM are saying however, the point is even when the “newbies” post on a thread they are generally overlooked / ignored (whatever you would like to call it).

So the newbies can make all the effort they like, but the regulars need to be accepting and also encouraging them to speak up and join in

Hence why I said both parties need to put the effort in, not just the one (that being the newbies).

I try and interact with newbies as much as I can in threads that interest me.

I think we will have to agree to disagree for now and see how things pan out for the newbies and oldies alike

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The thread was started to get us all thinking. Job done and thank you for contributing

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

"I post when I feel like but today's not that day

But you just did

Come back another day !

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By *musedforlifeMan over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"The thread was started to get us all thinking. Job done and thank you for contributing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i lurk, ive also been sent abuse (mostly from single men) if i join in. especially if i interact with my wife

but im starting to post more. work is quiet !

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

I’m relatively new and enjoy interacting with the forumites old and new. Some get and understand my sense of humour some think I’m being rude. Over time I think / hope they’ll see I’m having banter with no malice intended.

In my relatively short time on here I can see that it’s mainly the same active faces and I can see why people would say they’d like to see more newbie’s joining in with the forums.

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

"I think we will have to agree to disagree for now and see how things pan out for the newbies and oldies alike

Agreed.

I'll hold out for a united utopia of a forum.

I'd forgotten how much fun it was to not just stick with the music/food/daily activity threads and be more old Meli.

This has been an interesting discussion, thanks rasch!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The way I see it is the forums are forever changing. To people who haven't been here long it can seem full of regulars all talking to each other but I can assure you most of those people haven't actually been around that long either.

The "in crowd" is forever changing and evolving, I can name maybe 10 people who I'd say were more prominent when I first joined who I still see posting now.

I do get that it can be difficult at first but the ones who last and stand out tend to be the ones who post with conviction rather than trying to fit in.

Oh yeah, and we all get ignored at times. It's easy to feel like a victim if you're not aware it's actually just normal.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I do try to join in but generally go unheard...can be disheartening for forum newbies so just tend to lurk now..."

Please keep posting. It simply isn’t possible to notice every newbie’s post. I posted a thread that helped me to get started, but even then I got accused of a few things with an innocent question about clubs in the North West. I came onto the Lounge a bit later just for a nosey and found some interesting threads and threw myself in. However I didn’t get much response until I participated in two threads a Winking Thread and a Show Yourself (predecessor to Face Pic Friday) thread. I made a lot of jokey comments and flirted a bit and miraculously started to get some interaction. That gradually built over time and I’m now part of the furniture, but like others have said my posts are often not responded to, but that doesn’t mean they were ignored. As sometimes things I’ve said on a previous thread I’d long forgotten are brought up in a private conversation.

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

I only started posting a few weeks ago and have found it a very welcoming place. There are some regular posters on here whose posts I make a point of reading because I like them personally.

We may think alike in that we are going to have fairly liberal attitudes to be here in the first place, but I see a diversity of views. There is certainly some homophobia on here which I think is unfortunate.

I'm trying to be more accepting of single men. It's very easy to focus on comments from people I'm most interested in. I think in general polite or funny posters are treated well and arrogant and entitled posters get knocked down a peg. I'd say the balance is pretty well handled.

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