FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Talking about your feelings...

Talking about your feelings...

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Do you find it easy? Is it a struggle for you to open up? Do you cover up the soppy stuff with humour? Does not being able to express your emotions push your dear one's away? Do you like it when people tell you how they feel or do you get fidgety and have a sudden urge to discuss the weather?

I've always found it easy to express how I feel. In fact, it occasionally makes some people uncomfortable because it's so beyond their capabilities. I think the word is 'oversharing'

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

Hi, I'm Meli and I'm an oversharer.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hi, I'm Meli and I'm an oversharer."

Hi Meli, glad to have you with us

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi, I'm Meli and I'm an oversharer."

That makes two of you on here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've learnt to be a lot more open , which is a dashed healthy way to be

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you open the floodgates heaven help you. Im a good listener too though

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By *nowwhitexxx1Woman over a year ago

Hull

If I like someone then I don't have any problems telling them. The problem on here is that feelings on the whole seem to be against the grain so I tend to suppress them more and thats what I struggle with and ends up making me unhappy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im crap about saying how i feel and there's times that when i do let people know ,i sit back and think i shouldnt of done that and feel stupid after one day i Will learn

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm an oversharer too.. sometimes embarrassingly so but better out than in i always say

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By *nowwhitexxx1Woman over a year ago

Hull

"Hi, I'm Meli and I'm an oversharer."

And don't you go changing

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By *bcums3Couple over a year ago

lanarkshire

I totally overshare (Mrs) it’s good to talk...about anything

wouldn’t be me if I didn’t ( I’m sure it nips the hubby’s head sometimes) lol

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

I can open up with some people but not others, not that I often have things to open up about though. If I’m comfortable then I can share but I’m always conscious of privacy.

I am a very good listener though

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm an oversharer too.. sometimes embarrassingly so but better out than in i always say

There are times when I cringe so much after an overshare! I have to give myself a pep talk to get over the embarrassment

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It totally depends who I am talking to ... Sometimes I'm an open book and sometimes I say nothing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Up until my meltdown two year ago, never.. But since then I m open about my feelings.. Bottling it up makes for the run of femons in the head

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hi I'm P, another oversharer.

My issue lies with sometimes I over share before I've made sense of stuff in my noggin. So one day I could feel one way, the next totally different because in between shares my brain has worked out the "why" in how I feel, so it can be confusing as fuck to B. The good bit in all of that though is we're both learning, and seeing things and feelings from conception of said feelings and out the other side, with answers and knowledge.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I'm a very private person. I rarely share with anyone but those closest to me

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hi I'm P, another oversharer.

That's a lovely way of looking at it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hi Nell

I'm a complete rock, solid, almost impervious, and hide in a cave.

The only problem with that is rocks erode, very slowly. So I usually hide in plain view, divert attention from "feelings" behind flippancy jokes and sometimes even sarcasm.

When all that rain erodes the rock, maybe then I admit my emotions, but if I do.....

Today I may be a rock, tomorrow just sand washed away in a storm....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If I like someone then I don't have any problems telling them. The problem on here is that feelings on the whole seem to be against the grain so I tend to suppress them more and thats what I struggle with and ends up making me unhappy.

This.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm an oversharer too.. sometimes embarrassingly so but better out than in i always say

There are times when I cringe so much after an overshare! I have to give myself a pep talk to get over the embarrassment

Oh yes..i often say to myself after ' why the f**k did i say that!'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It entirely depends on the situation for me

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hi Nell

I'm a complete rock, solid, almost impervious, and hide in a cave.

The only problem with that is rocks erode, very slowly. So I usually hide in plain view, divert attention from "feelings" behind flippancy jokes and sometimes even sarcasm.

When all that rain erodes the rock, maybe then I admit my emotions, but if I do.....

Today I may be a rock, tomorrow just sand washed away in a storm....

So you're saying that being a rock is fragile and unsustainable?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi I'm P, another oversharer.

That's a lovely way of looking at it. "

I'm not sure he feels the same but here's hoping

If we understand the processes and the whys, it helps tackle future things.

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By * Lexi xWoman over a year ago

stockport

"Do you find it easy? Is it a struggle for you to open up? Do you cover up the soppy stuff with humour? Does not being able to express your emotions push your dear one's away? Do you like it when people tell you how they feel or do you get fidgety and have a sudden urge to discuss the weather?

I've always found it easy to express how I feel. In fact, it occasionally makes some people uncomfortable because it's so beyond their capabilities. I think the word is 'oversharing'

This is me!!!

I’ve not that long ago had an experience of being too honest and I’m not a “yes” girl.

I would rather express my feelings and if they do a runner so be-it.

I’m extremely soppy with the right person if I let my guard down.

I don’t see the point in bull shit.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't share with strangers but I do share with family, thankfully I have great siblings

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I love how it's 99.9% oversharers who have replied!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi Nell

I'm a complete rock, solid, almost impervious, and hide in a cave.

The only problem with that is rocks erode, very slowly. So I usually hide in plain view, divert attention from "feelings" behind flippancy jokes and sometimes even sarcasm.

When all that rain erodes the rock, maybe then I admit my emotions, but if I do.....

Today I may be a rock, tomorrow just sand washed away in a storm....

Dangerous ground...x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For me, it was always the most natural thing in life because doing so always felt full of depth and substance. But I've learnt not to as I reached my late 30s, mainly because I find most people don't, won't, or can't... which I find very sad and frustrating.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I find bottling everything up the norm but I do hate it. But being on fab has taught me to open up a little but I find it really difficult

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By *bcums3Couple over a year ago

lanarkshire

"I love how it's 99.9% oversharers who have replied!

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By *Man1263Man over a year ago

Stockport

I can be very open with those I am comfortable and trusting with.

If I am having a bad time, will talk about it, and expect those around me to be the same.

So when I ask "How are you?" I actually mean it and really want to know.

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

I tell people I like them. I tell people I love them when I do. Life is too short not to. Obviously not everyone wants to hear/read feelings stuff for a myriad of reasons but yes I share. A lot.

Sometimes people have been really fucking great and I want to smother them with my boob hugs and kisses so I tell them that. Sometimes people make me feel so many positive emotions and I fizz away with happiness and have to share it with them. I have feelings for people from here.

I like people who are direct with how they feel about me because then it doesn't leave any doubt, but also it's nice to hear/read these things. I value the messages saying nice feelings stuff like "Hey Meli, you really do make me smile and my cock chunky you know." That's adorable.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

[Removed by poster at 19/06/19 22:00:15]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I love how it's 99.9% oversharers who have replied!

Coz we own it rather than hide behind a disguise. We're heart on the sleevers, not say what people think to please the masses.

Not all, but some.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I find it incredibly difficult to discuss.. I keep my circle of trusted ones small as I’m terrified of letting the wrong ones in. I’m better than I was, but still very much a work in progress.

Saff

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I find bottling everything up the norm but I do hate it. But being on fab has taught me to open up a little but I find it really difficult"

Is that because you were taught not to open up as a child or is it innate? My eldest son gives a running commentary on how he's feeling, yet my youngest would rather stick pins in his eyes than show emotion.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

I’m a much better listener and counsellor to friends and work colleagues than I am sharing my own issues with anyone

It’s a rarity I open up to anyone, takes a lot of trust for me to do so

Talking about any other matters is not a problem at all, including telling people how I feel about them

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I tell people I like them. I tell people I love them when I do. Life is too short not to. Obviously not everyone wants to hear/read feelings stuff for a myriad of reasons but yes I share. A lot.

Love you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi Nell

I'm a complete rock, solid, almost impervious, and hide in a cave.

The only problem with that is rocks erode, very slowly. So I usually hide in plain view, divert attention from "feelings" behind flippancy jokes and sometimes even sarcasm.

When all that rain erodes the rock, maybe then I admit my emotions, but if I do.....

Today I may be a rock, tomorrow just sand washed away in a storm....

So you're saying that being a rock is fragile and unsustainable? "

When rocks break they can cause an avalanche.

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By *HX6969Man over a year ago

St Albans

I'm Latin., so everything is about showing your feelings.... Even as you're talking...

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By *ntrigued32Couple over a year ago

Nottingham

I don't talk about me much, I prefer to be the listener and advisor.

Jo.Xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't talk about me much, I prefer to be the listener and advisor.

Jo.Xx "

I need advice! How do I love a bird up?

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By *ristolcouple21Couple over a year ago

Bristol

I (fem) come from a family where we pretty much bottle everything in until we explode. That said I do wear my heart on my sleeve and my face gives everything away.. but I can never really say how I truly feel to anyone.. other than my sissy, who just gets it and me!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I find it incredibly difficult to discuss.. I keep my circle of trusted ones small as I’m terrified of letting the wrong ones in. I’m better than I was, but still very much a work in progress.

Saff"

I was like that, still spoke of a lot but didn't let people close as such.

I just figured that if my experiences or warped logic helped another, then I'd take the chance.

I've been bitten a few times, not from those you'd expect either! I'm not very trusting now, but I absolutely go with my gut and sometimes it's like I can feel people are good souls.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

My family are not expressive in the slightest. They're not comfortable with expressing emotion and find me an oddity. I don't know where I got it from

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hate speaking about my feelings my worst fear

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hate speaking about my feelings my worst fear

What's the fear?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm a oversharer with my friends but with the people I like I tend to skirt round to let them know what they mean to me but not actually say it for the fear of scaring them away or being rejected.

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By *nowwhitexxx1Woman over a year ago

Hull

What about on fab OP... Does that affect your feelings or how much you share compared to real life? Xx

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

I'm an oversharer, mostly.

I usually have no problem saying what I think, about alot of things.

I have no issue confiding with my girlyfriends or telling someone they've offended me

There are some things right now, I do wish I could say, could open up about, but my own insecurities take over.

I'll end up pressing the self destruct button, walking away, as it feels like the easiest option

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I tell people I like them. I tell people I love them when I do. Life is too short not to. Obviously not everyone wants to hear/read feelings stuff for a myriad of reasons but yes I share. A lot.

Love you

She's amazeballs ain't she.

We love you Meli!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hate speaking about my feelings my worst fear

What's the fear? "

No idea just get nervous and uncomfortable

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By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Travelling

Depends who with and my exact mood at the time.

A few select people I can just spill how I feel, others I'm very reserved.

With that said as I have gotten older I've been more open about things, again still restricted to the above factors.

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

Love you too Op, x

I'm happy your threads are back. Definitely.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For a man I’m very emotionally expressive, I’m very comfortable with my feelings and those of others. I have expressed too much on here at times and been too open. I do have a self-deprecation habit that no longer serves me well as well.

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By *ickyRoosterMan over a year ago

Uppendown

Good listener and do what I can to help. But I'm afraid I'm a confirmed 'bottler upperer'.

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By *ntrigued32Couple over a year ago

Nottingham

"I don't talk about me much, I prefer to be the listener and advisor.

Jo.Xx

I need advice! How do I love a bird up?"

Love a bird up?

Jo.Xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I find it incredibly difficult to discuss.. I keep my circle of trusted ones small as I’m terrified of letting the wrong ones in. I’m better than I was, but still very much a work in progress.

Saff

I was like that, still spoke of a lot but didn't let people close as such.

I just figured that if my experiences or warped logic helped another, then I'd take the chance.

I've been bitten a few times, not from those you'd expect either! I'm not very trusting now, but I absolutely go with my gut and sometimes it's like I can feel people are good souls.

I speak a lot about stuff I’m comfortable with.. but deep shiz I’m really guarded about. Nobody has got close to me in a very long time x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm a oversharer with my friends but with the people I like I tend to skirt round to let them know what they mean to me but not actually say it for the fear of scaring them away or being rejected. "

So it's a fear of bei g vulnerable? I was once told that I shouldn't tell people so much about myself as the information could be used against me. I only open up to those I'm close to so I didn't really understand what he meant, until we broke up and he tried to use what I'd disclosed as a weapon against me. He only made himself look bad though.

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Feelings? Nope. I barely speak.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The way I see it feelings aren't "wrong"

Some people love to hit you with the line "you shouldn't feel like that"

Hang on, it ain't a case of what you THINK I should feel, I'm telling you how I DO feel.

Feelings are real and people telling you you're wrong for feeling a certain way doesn't do anyone any favours.

It's about taking action (or sometimes no action) and working things out. Sometimes working out the why, the "I wasn't expecting that, where the hell did that come from"

We're human, we're individual and we're all shaped by experiences from birth to this point right now.

Some of us have scars, some of us don't. It ain't about being wrong, it's about tackling the whatever and making it comfortable

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't talk about me much, I prefer to be the listener and advisor.

Jo.Xx

I need advice! How do I love a bird up?

Love a bird up?

Jo.Xx "
you know, a gf or at least a promise ring or something

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I find it incredibly difficult to discuss.. I keep my circle of trusted ones small as I’m terrified of letting the wrong ones in. I’m better than I was, but still very much a work in progress.

Saff

I was like that, still spoke of a lot but didn't let people close as such.

I just figured that if my experiences or warped logic helped another, then I'd take the chance.

I've been bitten a few times, not from those you'd expect either! I'm not very trusting now, but I absolutely go with my gut and sometimes it's like I can feel people are good souls.

I speak a lot about stuff I’m comfortable with.. but deep shiz I’m really guarded about. Nobody has got close to me in a very long time x"

Well you know I think you're a good soul Saffster

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What about on fab OP... Does that affect your feelings or how much you share compared to real life? Xx"

I'm more guarded on here than in real life. I'm very open with people I'm close to but it can take a long time for me to form those bonds. I have a very small social circle and don't tend to have acquaintances that I hang out with. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There aren't many that get a piece of me. Confide in few, reveal little.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sharing feelings is healthy, but is dependent on the right time, the right place and the right person.

I find it awkward when people lack boundaries in social settings and share too much info with me. Keep those feelings to yourself!

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

"There aren't many that get a piece of me. Confide in few, reveal little.

I like your piece.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sharing feelings is healthy, but is dependent on the right time, the right place and the right person.

I find it awkward when people lack boundaries in social settings and share too much info with me. Keep those feelings to yourself!

Like, "I can feel a fart brewing" and let one rip in the lift?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Feelings? *Ptoooey!*

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I used to be very stoic and unexpresive and still can be at times to especially if I find that people are careless with my emotions and my trust.

I'm working on being more open recently though and it's very freeing to share things with people, I may overshare at times but I see it as a kind of strength to own your emotions and let others see that.

We all have feelings, owning them, understanding them and working through them is a healthy thing. I'd much rather do that than bottle things up like I used to.

Tea

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don’t talk about my feelings at all. My family wasn’t the type to talk about things like that and I was married to a man that I had to keep everything secret. So I don’t tell people anything much about myself. Mr has to prise but by bit out of me x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Feelings? *Ptoooey!*"

Don't make me smack you with a rolled up newspaper

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm a oversharer with my friends but with the people I like I tend to skirt round to let them know what they mean to me but not actually say it for the fear of scaring them away or being rejected.

I think it's more a fear of scaring them away to be honest as I think when you talk feelings people instantly think you want things to change how they are now or that you want something back from them so sometimes it's easier to just skirt around the subject and not say how you feel.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Terrible for it, My feelings seem to be mine and mine only!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I find it incredibly difficult to discuss.. I keep my circle of trusted ones small as I’m terrified of letting the wrong ones in. I’m better than I was, but still very much a work in progress.

Saff

I was like that, still spoke of a lot but didn't let people close as such.

I just figured that if my experiences or warped logic helped another, then I'd take the chance.

I've been bitten a few times, not from those you'd expect either! I'm not very trusting now, but I absolutely go with my gut and sometimes it's like I can feel people are good souls.

I speak a lot about stuff I’m comfortable with.. but deep shiz I’m really guarded about. Nobody has got close to me in a very long time x

Well you know I think you're a good soul Saffster

Ditto

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I struggle. Only those closest to me know what's really going on with me and how I feel about things

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I struggle. Only those closest to me know what's really going on with me and how I feel about things

Holly haha

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

I think sometimes you can shout help in the middle of a room and it be missed. If you’re used to listening to others’ feelings, it can be hard to find the oxygen for yours. I mean the deep feelings not the get along in the world, build rapport or provide support feelings (which are all still valid) but your dark feelings.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think sometimes you can shout help in the middle of a room and it be missed. If you’re used to listening to others’ feelings, it can be hard to find the oxygen for yours. I mean the deep feelings not the get along in the world, build rapport or provide support feelings (which are all still valid) but your dark feelings. "

Couldn't have put that better myself

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I can relate to this. There are some things that I really struggle to express because I know very few people will understand.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm happy to listen to you. If I think I can help you I will, if I can't, I'll tell you.

I'm fucked though.

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By *dam1971Man over a year ago

Bedford

I keep people at a distance most of the time, but following therapy I’m much better at opening up to people I trust.

I’ve even written a from the heart bit on here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Feelings? *Ptoooey!*

Don't make me smack you with a rolled up newspaper

*wags tail*

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I'm very open, sometimes too open, and I'm also a terrible overthinker who reads too much into things at times and get myself into a complete pickle as a result.

A lot is made on here, by others, that I'm the voice of reason and wisdom, and I grudgingly admit I can listen to others and offer advice and opinion when they ask for it - trouble is I'm not always good at taking and using my own advice.

I'm definitely someone who, if I have a problem, likes to talk it through openly and honestly, until I have it straightened out in my head, and find it very frustrating when I come up against people who are the opposite.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There aren't many that get a piece of me. Confide in few, reveal little.

I like your piece."

I know. When can I have it back?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The way I see it feelings aren't "wrong"

Some people love to hit you with the line "you shouldn't feel like that"

Hang on, it ain't a case of what you THINK I should feel, I'm telling you how I DO feel.

Feelings are real and people telling you you're wrong for feeling a certain way doesn't do anyone any favours.

It's about taking action (or sometimes no action) and working things out. Sometimes working out the why, the "I wasn't expecting that, where the hell did that come from"

We're human, we're individual and we're all shaped by experiences from birth to this point right now.

Some of us have scars, some of us don't. It ain't about being wrong, it's about tackling the whatever and making it comfortable

This. As ever Peach perfectly put.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple over a year ago

in Lancashire

"I've learnt to be a lot more open , which is a dashed healthy way to be

This..

I was the typical quiet bloke, all OK charade..

Not easy to change but a far better place to be..

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By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

I don't have feelings. It helps.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't have feelings. It helps."

This is the way to go I think

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't have feelings. It helps.

This is the way to go I think"

Noooooo, don't be a robot

Our feelings are part of our souls.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I don't have feelings. It helps.

This is the way to go I think

Noooooo, don't be a robot

Our feelings are part of our souls.

They are, but sometimes I wish they had a volume control

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't have feelings. It helps.

This is the way to go I think

Noooooo, don't be a robot

Our feelings are part of our souls.

They are, but sometimes I wish they had a volume control"

Oh fuck yeah, mine is pretty much cranked up to 11!

You know what helps?... talking.

Which brings me back to the OP, yep, I over share, I over care

But I'm me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't have feelings. It helps.

This is the way to go I think

Noooooo, don't be a robot

Our feelings are part of our souls.

They are, but sometimes I wish they had a volume control

Oh fuck yeah, mine is pretty much cranked up to 11!

You know what helps?... talking.

Which brings me back to the OP, yep, I over share, I over care

But I'm me.

That helps you to work through your stuff. As long as you respect the boundaries of those who you share with it isn’t a problem at all. Hmm I need to think about that one myself...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't have feelings. It helps.

This is the way to go I think

Noooooo, don't be a robot

Our feelings are part of our souls.

They are, but sometimes I wish they had a volume control

Oh fuck yeah, mine is pretty much cranked up to 11!

You know what helps?... talking.

Which brings me back to the OP, yep, I over share, I over care

But I'm me.

That helps you to work through your stuff. As long as you respect the boundaries of those who you share with it isn’t a problem at all. Hmm I need to think about that one myself..."

Eeeeek, I hadn't thought about it that way.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't have feelings. It helps.

This is the way to go I think

Noooooo, don't be a robot

Our feelings are part of our souls.

They are, but sometimes I wish they had a volume control"

Or gave us a day or two off. I cant keep the obsessions up without some rest inbetween

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I don't have feelings. It helps.

This is the way to go I think

Noooooo, don't be a robot

Our feelings are part of our souls.

They are, but sometimes I wish they had a volume control

Oh fuck yeah, mine is pretty much cranked up to 11!

You know what helps?... talking.

Which brings me back to the OP, yep, I over share, I over care

But I'm me.

Talking always helps for sure and needs two people to do so - the voices in my head aren't good counsel for each other

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't have feelings. It helps.

This is the way to go I think

Noooooo, don't be a robot

Our feelings are part of our souls.

They are, but sometimes I wish they had a volume control

Or gave us a day or two off. I cant keep the obsessions up without some rest inbetween

Sertraline. Knocked me out for 3 weeks.

I'm not actually endorsing a brand or saying you need em, just my own twisted humour

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't have feelings. It helps.

This is the way to go I think

Noooooo, don't be a robot

Our feelings are part of our souls.

They are, but sometimes I wish they had a volume control

Oh fuck yeah, mine is pretty much cranked up to 11!

You know what helps?... talking.

Which brings me back to the OP, yep, I over share, I over care

But I'm me.

Talking always helps for sure and needs two people to do so - the voices in my head aren't good counsel for each other

You're lucky tho, I got dumb and dumber in my noggin fighting it out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't have feelings. It helps.

This is the way to go I think

Noooooo, don't be a robot

Our feelings are part of our souls.

They are, but sometimes I wish they had a volume control

Oh fuck yeah, mine is pretty much cranked up to 11!

You know what helps?... talking.

Which brings me back to the OP, yep, I over share, I over care

But I'm me.

Talking always helps for sure and needs two people to do so - the voices in my head aren't good counsel for each other

P already knows but if you ever need to talk Gem I’m here for you as well.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't have feelings. It helps.

This is the way to go I think

Noooooo, don't be a robot

Our feelings are part of our souls.

They are, but sometimes I wish they had a volume control

Oh fuck yeah, mine is pretty much cranked up to 11!

You know what helps?... talking.

Which brings me back to the OP, yep, I over share, I over care

But I'm me.

Talking always helps for sure and needs two people to do so - the voices in my head aren't good counsel for each other

P already knows but if you ever need to talk Gem I’m here for you as well."

Feeling the love

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't have feelings. It helps.

This is the way to go I think

Noooooo, don't be a robot

Our feelings are part of our souls.

They are, but sometimes I wish they had a volume control

Or gave us a day or two off. I cant keep the obsessions up without some rest inbetween

Sertraline. Knocked me out for 3 weeks.

I'm not actually endorsing a brand or saying you need em, just my own twisted humour

I keep thinking a good long sleep would be great actually. A month or two without having to think of a thing. Xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've spent a very long time suppressing and hiding my feelings so they won't be used against me. Now it's hard to properly process them sometimes.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I don't have feelings. It helps.

This is the way to go I think

Noooooo, don't be a robot

Our feelings are part of our souls.

They are, but sometimes I wish they had a volume control

Oh fuck yeah, mine is pretty much cranked up to 11!

You know what helps?... talking.

Which brings me back to the OP, yep, I over share, I over care

But I'm me.

Talking always helps for sure and needs two people to do so - the voices in my head aren't good counsel for each other

You're lucky tho, I got dumb and dumber in my noggin fighting it out

I'll swap you Dumb and Dumber for Tledum and Tledee

And thanks Doc, I appreciate it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't have feelings. It helps.

This is the way to go I think

Noooooo, don't be a robot

Our feelings are part of our souls.

They are, but sometimes I wish they had a volume control

Oh fuck yeah, mine is pretty much cranked up to 11!

You know what helps?... talking.

Which brings me back to the OP, yep, I over share, I over care

But I'm me.

Talking always helps for sure and needs two people to do so - the voices in my head aren't good counsel for each other

P already knows but if you ever need to talk Gem I’m here for you as well.

Feeling the love

There’s an abundant source of it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

May I just say that I adore over-sharers. There is nothing more attractive and I genuinely want to hear it. Whatever it is. Just spill.

I can keep any secret too.

X James

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've spent a very long time suppressing and hiding my feelings so they won't be used against me. Now it's hard to properly process them sometimes."

I can totally understand this one.

I had mine used against me for a long arsed time. I couldn't suppress tho. I could keep my gob shut but not suppress. Then like a melting pot it got me.

Not everyone is a wanker that will use them against you, but yes, without doubt some will.

You'll find people that will use your feelings .... and use them WITH you, and that's precious. These are the peeps worth hanging onto.

I'm proper rooting for you ya know.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't have feelings. It helps.

This is the way to go I think

Noooooo, don't be a robot

Our feelings are part of our souls.

Love this Peach.

Without feelings our lives become a little more grey and empty, perhaps almost meaningless.

If we can't feel how can we ever really know another...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't have feelings. It helps.

This is the way to go I think

Noooooo, don't be a robot

Our feelings are part of our souls.

Love this Peach.

Without feelings our lives become a little more grey and empty, perhaps almost meaningless.

If we can't feel how can we ever really know another...

That raised a tear in my left peeper.

Hauntingly beautiful

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By *ig_eric_tionMan over a year ago

IPSWICH

I've always been one to keep things to myself. Only relatively recently I realised its not been good for me. It's such a relief to get it out of your system.

I wouldn't say I over share but just talk about it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't have feelings. It helps.

This is the way to go I think

Noooooo, don't be a robot

Our feelings are part of our souls.

Love this Peach.

Without feelings our lives become a little more grey and empty, perhaps almost meaningless.

If we can't feel how can we ever really know another...

So true, beautifully put.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I find it waaaaaaay too easy to discuss how I’m feeling. My therapist once sat back and said ‘well you’ve got this all sussed out, I’m not really needed am I?’

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I pretty good at letting all my feelings come out!!...sometimes it's not always a good thing!! Lol!!

PT x

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By *an_LexaCouple over a year ago

Sunderland

I have absolutely no problem saying if I want to fuck someone. Possibly because in reality I separate fucking as a singular fun thing in itself. I can get well wrapped up it, don’t get me wrong. But sex is sex, simple as.

I kinda see myself as a bit of an emotional retard when it comes down to the real stuff though. Grown up stuff I’ll joke, I’ll run from, build a wall, block out and avoid that might hurt me in some way

Lex

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I,m pretty open about myself and very empathetic in company of others . I cry in public without embarrassment it’s natural,it’s just a release mechanism.

Think too many people keep things inside I think and that’s not too healthy

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By *inkysexpotMan over a year ago

leeds

Always been a struggle and found it easier to bottle emotions up which is never a good thing to do!!

The past year I've been trying not to bottle things up which I'm doing reasonably well at doing so far.

As for others opening up I've been encouraging them to do it too, good or bad talk about it!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Good feelings everyone

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

I’m very comfortable talking about my feelings. I don’t see what’s scary about talking about them. It’s not like they stay the same.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No. I don’t talk about my feelings. I don’t see the need. If I have a drama I’ll sort it out by myself.

I’m quite resistant to being told I need to talk about my feelings. Why? It’s my choice to deal with them how I want.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No. I don’t talk about my feelings. I don’t see the need. If I have a drama I’ll sort it out by myself.

I’m quite resistant to being told I need to talk about my feelings. Why? It’s my choice to deal with them how I want. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't have feelings anymore since my golden fish died

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/06/19 09:19:18]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No. I don’t talk about my feelings. I don’t see the need. If I have a drama I’ll sort it out by myself.

I’m quite resistant to being told I need to talk about my feelings. Why? It’s my choice to deal with them how I want.

Just to clarify - my thumbs up was that I agree with your sentiment although I prefer to talk through my feelings, express them, I respect anyone’s wish who wants to process the feelings in their own way. We all march to the beat of different drums. You march your way, I’ll march mine

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By *an_LexaCouple over a year ago

Sunderland

I’m talking about a whole range of feelings here when I say I don’t do them. I’m not just talking love, intimacy, the good stuff. I shy away from the bad stuff too. I let any of it in I feel it zaps any of my strength to deal with the day to day. It makes me feel vulnerable and that’s a state I can’t imagine putting myself into with anyone

Lex

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm definitely an over sharer

I'm not embarrassed about it either.

I would prefer it if everyone got their feelings out in the open.

Life would be a lot easier.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm definitely an over sharer

I'm not embarrassed about it either.

I would prefer it if everyone got their feelings out in the open.

Life would be a lot easier."

Somethings I don’t want people to know and I’d rather not tell them.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"No. I don’t talk about my feelings. I don’t see the need. If I have a drama I’ll sort it out by myself.

I’m quite resistant to being told I need to talk about my feelings. Why? It’s my choice to deal with them how I want.

Absolutely bro, we each deal with feelings, problems etc in our own way, and the way we find that works for us - for me, as I suggested further up, I have to let them out otherwise they build and build until they explode, often spectacularly and that isn't usually a good thing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No. I don’t talk about my feelings. I don’t see the need. If I have a drama I’ll sort it out by myself.

I’m quite resistant to being told I need to talk about my feelings. Why? It’s my choice to deal with them how I want.

Absolutely, and I’m not decrying anyone who wishes to talk their feelings over. I’ll lend always lend an ear.

It’s just not for me. I know I don’t need it. It’s also interesting how many people are almost offended that I don’t want to talk about my feelings.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

If i talk about my problems then I admit that they're real. If i keep them inside then i can try and forget about them. Although im not sure how much longer I can go on feeling like this.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m talking about a whole range of feelings here when I say I don’t do them. I’m not just talking love, intimacy, the good stuff. I shy away from the bad stuff too. I let any of it in I feel it zaps any of my strength to deal with the day to day. It makes me feel vulnerable and that’s a state I can’t imagine putting myself into with anyone

Lex "

Do you like it that way Lex? Or do you just feel you have to keep it that way?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No. I don’t talk about my feelings. I don’t see the need. If I have a drama I’ll sort it out by myself.

I’m quite resistant to being told I need to talk about my feelings. Why? It’s my choice to deal with them how I want.

Absolutely, and I’m not decrying anyone who wishes to talk their feelings over. I’ll lend always lend an ear.

It’s just not for me. I know I don’t need it. It’s also interesting how many people are almost offended that I don’t want to talk about my feelings. "

They need the message of different drummers. They need to put away their pet Pygmalion projects and let others be themselves

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would prefer it if everyone got their feelings out in the open.

This is what I mean. That’s nothing to do with the other person but purely about you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If i talk about my problems then I admit that they're real. If i keep them inside then i can try and forget about them. Although im not sure how much longer I can go on feeling like this. "

Is this a lyric from a ‘80’s power ballad ?

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

"If i talk about my problems then I admit that they're real. If i keep them inside then i can try and forget about them. Although im not sure how much longer I can go on feeling like this.

Is this a lyric from a ‘80’s power ballad ? "

I wish.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Learning to be more open to those who matter rather than keeping it to myself not very good at it though

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m fine with talking about my feelings but usually with female friends rather than my male friends. It just seems easier and girls tend to offer better advice when it comes to issues of the heart. I’m good at listening too, the same female friends talk to me about their feelings and they tell me I give good advice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If i talk about my problems then I admit that they're real. If i keep them inside then i can try and forget about them. Although im not sure how much longer I can go on feeling like this. "

That doesn't sound sustainable. Do you feel like a pressure cooker at times? Do you have an alternative outlet to vent?

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

"If i talk about my problems then I admit that they're real. If i keep them inside then i can try and forget about them. Although im not sure how much longer I can go on feeling like this.

That doesn't sound sustainable. Do you feel like a pressure cooker at times? Do you have an alternative outlet to vent? "

Yes i do. And no, generally i let time sort things out.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If i talk about my problems then I admit that they're real. If i keep them inside then i can try and forget about them. Although im not sure how much longer I can go on feeling like this. "

Don't know if you're serious but this for me too. Something really bad is going to happen.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan over a year ago

Coventry

I pretty open with people, including my feeling. It's something I learnt to be open about many years ago in my old career. Opening up can't always change a situation, but it can help you to cope and let others know you could do with some support. Or more basicly I've found talking saves lives (especially when it comes to men). In my experience if your open and talk about your own feelings people open up and talk about theirs, especially when you've been in a similar dark spot. So sometimes being open your self is the best way to start to help others.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's not something I'm very good at. I've got a bit better recently about telling certain people things but it takes me a while to be able to build up to doing it.

I always worry about burdening someone else with my problems.

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

I’ve not read the whole thread but my experience is men don’t open up as they see it as a form of weakness and some colleagues have really suffered from this.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

"If i talk about my problems then I admit that they're real. If i keep them inside then i can try and forget about them. Although im not sure how much longer I can go on feeling like this.

That doesn't sound sustainable. Do you feel like a pressure cooker at times? Do you have an alternative outlet to vent? "

For me it's a culmination of things, for instance this last 7 days, something really really unpleasant happened at work,kind of on going, then i found out my dad was being conned by a double glazing company, i got that sorted, then my brother tells me mum has been conned out of 10k! That's lost. And what is really pushing me to my limit now is that my cat has been missing since Saturday. Doesn't sound much, but that disappearance has pushed me into the red.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m fine with talking about my feelings but usually with female friends rather than my male friends. It just seems easier and girls tend to offer better advice when it comes to issues of the heart. I’m good at listening too, the same female friends talk to me about their feelings and they tell me I give good advice. "

I generally find it easier with female friends although I do have male friends who talk to me. My ability to listen and help people work stuff out is one of my strengths. I’m a bit of a wounded healer and much of what I help others with I have needed to help myself with or need to apply to myself too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If i talk about my problems then I admit that they're real. If i keep them inside then i can try and forget about them. Although im not sure how much longer I can go on feeling like this.

That doesn't sound sustainable. Do you feel like a pressure cooker at times? Do you have an alternative outlet to vent?

Yep that’s quite a mixed bag of strong emotions to have to process at the same time. As Nell said it’s a pressure cooker waiting to blow.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yeah I’m pretty much the same, my job helps too. I solve people’s problems for a living so if I havn't had personal experience of an issue you can bet I’ve had it at work.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If i talk about my problems then I admit that they're real. If i keep them inside then i can try and forget about them. Although im not sure how much longer I can go on feeling like this.

Don't know if you're serious but this for me too. Something really bad is going to happen. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yeah I’m pretty much the same, my job helps too. I solve people’s problems for a living so if I havn't had personal experience of an issue you can bet I’ve had it at work. "
Ditto

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm definitely an over sharer

I'm not embarrassed about it either.

I would prefer it if everyone got their feelings out in the open.

Life would be a lot easier.

Somethings I don’t want people to know and I’d rather not tell them. "

What I want isn't usually what others want.

If someone doesn't want to share their feelings with me what can I do about it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's not something I'm very good at. I've got a bit better recently about telling certain people things but it takes me a while to be able to build up to doing it.

I always worry about burdening someone else with my problems. "

A problem shared is a problem doubled

Seriously, for me when people trust me enough to share their problems I feel honoured rather than burdened. The only issue is having enough time to give them quality attention

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't have feelings. It helps.

This is the way to go I think"

No, you just have to acknowledge them and not let them get the better of you...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm definitely an over sharer

I'm not embarrassed about it either.

I would prefer it if everyone got their feelings out in the open.

Life would be a lot easier.

Somethings I don’t want people to know and I’d rather not tell them.

What I want isn't usually what others want.

If someone doesn't want to share their feelings with me what can I do about it?

All you can do is let them know that you're willing to listen if they do.

Sometimes just knowing someone is there can be all the comfort blanket they need.

If we're talking feelings as in how you feel about another and it isn't reciprocated or you're being left in limbo because they won't tell you, well, that's kind of unfair of them as we all deserve to know where we stand.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm definitely an over sharer

I'm not embarrassed about it either.

I would prefer it if everyone got their feelings out in the open.

Life would be a lot easier.

Somethings I don’t want people to know and I’d rather not tell them.

What I want isn't usually what others want.

If someone doesn't want to share their feelings with me what can I do about it?

Not a lot. Maybe just be there for them if they change their mind?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's not something I'm very good at. I've got a bit better recently about telling certain people things but it takes me a while to be able to build up to doing it.

I always worry about burdening someone else with my problems.

A problem shared is a problem doubled

Seriously, for me when people trust me enough to share their problems I feel honoured rather than burdened. The only issue is having enough time to give them quality attention "

Totally this.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If the person your talking to is a good listener and does not judge then its easy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm definitely an over sharer

I'm not embarrassed about it either.

I would prefer it if everyone got their feelings out in the open.

Life would be a lot easier.

Somethings I don’t want people to know and I’d rather not tell them.

What I want isn't usually what others want.

If someone doesn't want to share their feelings with me what can I do about it?

All you can do is let them know that you're willing to listen if they do.

Sometimes just knowing someone is there can be all the comfort blanket they need.

Oh yeah. That’s a good point

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If the person your talking to is a good listener and does not judge then its easy. "
Easier for some. Some will still find it difficult or not want to.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm definitely an over sharer

I'm not embarrassed about it either.

I would prefer it if everyone got their feelings out in the open.

Life would be a lot easier.

Somethings I don’t want people to know and I’d rather not tell them.

What I want isn't usually what others want.

If someone doesn't want to share their feelings with me what can I do about it?

Nothing, everyone should have the choice and not feel bad either way. You said you’d prefer everyone to get their feelings out, some people aren’t comfortable with sharing and prefer that people don’t know everything about them.

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By *ibblingnewtWoman over a year ago

by the sea

I open up to people that are on my wavelength on people that I know well

To meet anyone from here and being able to open up Just wouldn’t happen

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

In terms of negative feelings, I rarely open up about them. People can use them against you, people don't really listen to you. They hear what you're saying but don't actually listen to you. And I don't like being too vulnerable with people. People can be mean and callous and self serving. I can feel like I am burdening them and also because I don't want to be treated differently. I don't really trust people to not hurt me and the negative ones are where they can. I try and be supportive to others as much as possible though.

How I discusss feelings is an odd dichotomy I guess. Meh!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’ve not read the whole thread but my experience is men don’t open up as they see it as a form of weakness and some colleagues have really suffered from this."

I think sometimes it’s also because others see it as a sign of weakness too.

I wear a thin sensitive skin because I actually feel stronger that way than when I wore a lot more emotionally defensive armour. I do make myself vulnerable and sometimes misjudge it, and get knocked. But only like a Weeble gets knocked. I wobble, but don’t fall down (showing my age). I process it fast now and come back stronger with a bit more wisdom.

Mutual vulnerability also can transform both people. I have had conversations with friends on here where we have both felt transformed by the conversation, because of the mutual trust and sharing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's always easier to help deal objectively with other people's feelings than it is your own. That's why it helps to share, although it might he advisable to share them only with someone you trust., or oddly, a total stranger who has no preconceptions of you or your life. There are no guarantees with either option. ..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's always easier to help deal objectively with other people's feelings than it is your own. That's why it helps to share, although it might he advisable to share them only with someone you trust., or oddly, a total stranger who has no preconceptions of you or your life. There are no guarantees with either option. .."
That is true too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Remember people, you aren't a burden.

Those that don't want to be there for you won't, those that do .... well, they don't see you as a burden, they see you as a person.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Remember people, you aren't a burden.

Those that don't want to be there for you won't, those that do .... well, they don't see you as a burden, they see you as a person.

Well said.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Remember people, you aren't a burden.

Those that don't want to be there for you won't, those that do .... well, they don't see you as a burden, they see you as a person.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I think if you are going to talk about your feelings freely with anybody you need to have emotional strength and maturity coupled with a strong sense of self. You also need the ability to recognise where people will use your feelings against you. Vulnerability is good but making yourself vulnerable without thought for the consequences isn't in my opinion

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By *r TriomanMan over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

I'm generally a very happy positive person and I don't really feel many other emotions; I get grumpy and moan but that makes me even happier. More than happy to talk about the (few) feelings that I have.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

"Remember people, you aren't a burden.

Those that don't want to be there for you won't, those that do .... well, they don't see you as a burden, they see you as a person.

To true

A quote I like.... “a true friend is someone who doesn’t like getting wet in the rain, but will accompany you as you’re going through a storm”

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think if you are going to talk about your feelings freely with anybody you need to have emotional strength and maturity coupled with a strong sense of self. You also need the ability to recognise where people will use your feelings against you. Vulnerability is good but making yourself vulnerable without thought for the consequences isn't in my opinion"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Remember people, you aren't a burden.

Those that don't want to be there for you won't, those that do .... well, they don't see you as a burden, they see you as a person.

To true

A quote I like.... “a true friend is someone who doesn’t like getting wet in the rain, but will accompany you as you’re going through a storm”"

Damn right.

I forgot about the fuckers who won't see you as a burden but won't see you as a person either. There are also those out there that will see you as a target/their next victim

These ones aren't easy to spot sadly.

So yeah, it might serve you well to remain guarded, but at the same time angels can be found in the most unlikely places.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I think there's also an element of feeling, on here at least, that because of the nature of the site, that you shouldn't show feelings, or air them in the same way as you might in a "normal" setting - things you might query or raise in general day to day life you keep hidden to an extent because it's "not the done thing" and gives rise to comments like "It's supposed to be NSA, you can't say that" but as my dear Princess Peach said earlier you can't help feelings, they're not something you can switch on and off they just are.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple over a year ago

Leicestershire

Something we as a couple have always been very good at. I think it's one of the main reasons we are at 25 years and still going strong.

Complete openness and honesty is the way forward. We have found that a lot of people we dont know that we make contact with on here can treat it with scepticism and not trust that we do actually mean exactly what we say.

If we didn't mean it we simply wouldn't say it.

Those that can start to lend that lottle bit of trust we have found often leads to fantastic friendships and more with.

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By *ambsLad2Man over a year ago

Peterborough

I gave up talking to my wife about my feelings years ago. Whatever I said was met with a rebuff, scorn, ridicule or something else. I have a confidante. She listens and understands, but I don't bother with my wife anymore, it's not worth it. It does cause issues, but those pale into insignificance given those which occur when I try to explain things. As Unlucky Alf would say, "bugger".

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thank you everyone for contributing to the thread. It's been a fascinating and heart warming conversation.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think there's also an element of feeling, on here at least, that because of the nature of the site, that you shouldn't show feelings, or air them in the same way as you might in a "normal" setting - things you might query or raise in general day to day life you keep hidden to an extent because it's "not the done thing" and gives rise to comments like "It's supposed to be NSA, you can't say that" but as my dear Princess Peach said earlier you can't help feelings, they're not something you can switch on and off they just are."

Which in itself can be a bit of a contradiction when you really think about it. So many people say they don't want to be viewed as a slab of meat, as a possession, as a hole, yet they won't express how they feel. It ain't always a bad thing staying guarded, not at all, but neither is showing someone you're a human being with depth and a life that's shaped you thus far.

Feelings covers a huge umbrella from excitement to fear, elation to grief.

Maybe if we act more like humans, we will get treated more like humans.

Yes I'm wittering, pondering, reflecting I guess.

I suppose I think the more we share, the more we understand. Even if that level of sharing is... I don't share feelings as I'm not comfortable doing so.

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