FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Stood Up?
Stood Up?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just checked into a hotel room half an hour ago and I haven't seen or heard from a lady friend who was gonna meet me here today.
I booked a room for the two of us and I said to her the check in time is 2pm and we were looking forward to meeting up around that time.
Now I don't know what is up. I haven't spoken to her since last night. I've left her a message to let her know I was on my way but she hasn't been online recently.
Have I been stood up? |
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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago
Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire |
"Just checked into a hotel room half an hour ago and I haven't seen or heard from a lady friend who was gonna meet me here today.
I booked a room for the two of us and I said to her the check in time is 2pm and we were looking forward to meeting up around that time.
Now I don't know what is up. I haven't spoken to her since last night. I've left her a message to let her know I was on my way but she hasn't been online recently.
Have I been stood up?"
Happens from time to time. Rarely a good sign when there are no comms on the day.
Chalk it down to experience and learn from it |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
Give her some more time but if she isn't answering you there's a good chance she won't show. If people go quiet on the day it's not usually a good sign. But I hope she turns up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just checked into a hotel room half an hour ago and I haven't seen or heard from a lady friend who was gonna meet me here today.
I booked a room for the two of us and I said to her the check in time is 2pm and we were looking forward to meeting up around that time.
Now I don't know what is up. I haven't spoken to her since last night. I've left her a message to let her know I was on my way but she hasn't been online recently.
Have I been stood up?"
Sorry to hear that. I'd set a cut off time of allowing her to contact you. Then see if any other ladies are interested in meeting socially for a drink and then maybe fun. It's worth a try x
Good luck x |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"Yes probably. Don't you have her number? Call or text her to find out what's up.
I haven’t no"
Oh OK then yes I'd say you've been stood up. A face pic and gold membership mean nothing, that could be anyone's face. It's crappy that this happened to you but hopefully you'll learn something from it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Certainly sounds like it. Is she verified?
She isn't no but she does have a face pic and has gold membership"
Gold membership costs a fiver. Face pics are easy to get.
In future before paying out for a hotel I suggest you go on a social or the very least talk on the phone or have some live photos sent to you /have a webcam chat. |
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"Certainly sounds like it. Is she verified?
She isn't no but she does have a face pic and has gold membership
Gold membership costs a fiver. Face pics are easy to get.
In future before paying out for a hotel I suggest you go on a social or the very least talk on the phone or have some live photos sent to you /have a webcam chat. "
This is exactly why I use a well known messaging app for live pics and usually a socia meet before anything else happens. Put it down to experience and make the best of it. |
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"Certainly sounds like it. Is she verified?
She isn't no but she does have a face pic and has gold membership
Gold membership costs a fiver. Face pics are easy to get.
In future before paying out for a hotel I suggest you go on a social or the very least talk on the phone or have some live photos sent to you /have a webcam chat. "
she probably got someone to pay for the gold membership anyway lol that is if it was a female and not a male with a random fac pic posted  |
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"Certainly sounds like it. Is she verified?
She isn't no but she does have a face pic and has gold membership
Gold membership costs a fiver. Face pics are easy to get.
In future before paying out for a hotel I suggest you go on a social or the very least talk on the phone or have some live photos sent to you /have a webcam chat.
she probably got someone to pay for the gold membership anyway lol that is if it was a female and not a male with a random fac pic posted "
Or she's stuck under the wardrobe that fell over whilst she was getting ready and no once had come to her rescue as she can't reach her phone  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm so sorry dear chap it appears you have , was she even phot verified , and have you actually spoken ? I fear it may be a chap stringing you along I'm sorry to say |
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"If there is one thing I don't like is getting upset and when I do, it puts me into a minor depression which would put me off doing anything."
Don’t take it personally, most of us have had it at some stage, it’s just one of those learning curve things. Put in place some filtering systems and you should be able to make sure it doesn’t happen again. |
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"If there is one thing I don't like is getting upset and when I do, it puts me into a minor depression which would put me off doing anything."
Most of us have been there. Go grab a drink and try and forget about it, easier said than done I know as been there.
It’s a blip, a lesson learnt but don’t let it get you down or put you off xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"best call "ghostbusters" OP you been ghosted!!!!!! "
Oh damn! That is bad 
OP - See how it goes today. If no show or no communication learn from it. Remember the tell tell signs so you don't repeat... e.g. you had no communication since last night. When it comes to booking hotel and you spend money you really do need to know the person well as other posters have said with possibly meeting for social first.
You mentioned "last time you book hotel for someone" please remember this is not the end... don't allow anyone to stop you from having fun or doing what you joined the site for. As long as you're genuine you will meet fellow like minded Fabbers. You can use this to become stronger or allow it to take you down a path of frustration by allowing someone to stop you from having potential future meets...
The choice is yours on how you deal with this. I personally have not been in the position that you find yourself in today, but know many people that had similar situations. Those that went forward and continued their time on here put this experience behind them as a learning curve.
All the best  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If there is one thing I don't like is getting upset and when I do, it puts me into a minor depression which would put me off doing anything.
Don’t take it personally, most of us have had it at some stage, it’s just one of those learning curve things. Put in place some filtering systems and you should be able to make sure it doesn’t happen again."
Chin up dear chap , chalk it up to experience. It's happened to us all .
You have a room , a jolly good profile , so get messaging possible chums |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You won't be the first and you certainly won't be the last.
Even happened to me. I know, me!
Don't take it to heart, I know that's easier said than done.
P |
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Sorry this happened.
If a meet goes quiet and I've not heard from them the same day I assume the meet is off.
99 percent of the time I do a social first. If they turn up for the social you know they're a real person not an inmate of Fantasy Island.
If you use a day use hotel and things get cancelled you can cancel the room on the same day without being charged.
If in doubt ask to speak on the phone first.
Better luck next time.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've put a word out if any ladies in the Oldham area want to meet up even if it's for a social.
I'm doing my best to not beat myself up over being stood up as when I feel down, I would have negative thoughts going through my head that would make me want to shut myself off from the world. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Cheer up OP, i think there’s a couple of clubs quite local to you- treat yourself and visit one."
I've checked and there aren't any clubs near where I am in Oldham. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just checked into a hotel room half an hour ago and I haven't seen or heard from a lady friend who was gonna meet me here today.
I booked a room for the two of us and I said to her the check in time is 2pm and we were looking forward to meeting up around that time.
Now I don't know what is up. I haven't spoken to her since last night. I've left her a message to let her know I was on my way but she hasn't been online recently.
Have I been stood up?"
bad luck man it sucks when you shell out money, theirs some ignorant people around but maybe she has no signal and can't login to site got held up at home but knows you're going to be there all night and is on her way or her car broke down, wait for a while yet |
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
It's probably happened to most of us.
This is why I insist on a social first usually. At least I can enjoy a coffee or a drink on my own then if worst comes to the worst.
I also tend to stick to people that have already been verified by meeting.
You do have to have a thick skin for this lifestyle really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cheer up OP, i think there’s a couple of clubs quite local to you- treat yourself and visit one.
I've checked and there aren't any clubs near where I am in Oldham."
try dropem it's close by  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Cheer up OP, i think there’s a couple of clubs quite local to you- treat yourself and visit one.
I've checked and there aren't any clubs near where I am in Oldham.try dropem it's close by "
Never heard of it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's probably happened to most of us.
This is why I insist on a social first usually. At least I can enjoy a coffee or a drink on my own then if worst comes to the worst.
I also tend to stick to people that have already been verified by meeting.
You do have to have a thick skin for this lifestyle really. "
I haven’t done a hotel meet in two years and that was with a friend who was at the hotel before I did.
I've been mainly going to Cupids over the past two years and had no problems meeting up with friends I made there. |
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"I've been stood up several times for social meets. Some have been verified some haven't. Now I only meet at mine so I don't waste my time."
A social meet isn't a waste of time for me.
If they don't turn up then up at most I've wasted 30 minutes of my day.
And had a decent coffee.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry this has happened. Try and turn it into a positive and have some relaxing me time if nothing else or to a pub for a drink pretend you are on holiday.
Try not to get too upset as above you need a thick skin for this lifestyle |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think people who have been stood up at hotel meets should be reimbursed the money they wasted on the hotel room.
By who?
 "
I don't know. I just think it's unfair to pay for a hotel room and then to be played like a mug. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sorry this has happened. Try and turn it into a positive and have some relaxing me time if nothing else or to a pub for a drink pretend you are on holiday.
Try not to get too upset as above you need a thick skin for this lifestyle "
I'll do my best but with me being autistic, it can be tricky sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just checked into a hotel room half an hour ago and I haven't seen or heard from a lady friend who was gonna meet me here today.
I booked a room for the two of us and I said to her the check in time is 2pm and we were looking forward to meeting up around that time.
Now I don't know what is up. I haven't spoken to her since last night. I've left her a message to let her know I was on my way but she hasn't been online recently.
Have I been stood up?"
I was stood up for a social, good job I'm comfortable having drinks on my own. Turned out a good night regardless. |
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Chalk it up to experience.
Don’t play without a social.
You have been had with your pants down this time and may feel like a fool. But you won’t be the first and you won’t be the last.
Don’t dwell on it mate. Get yourself out and find something to do in eh Oldham? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Chalk it up to experience.
Don’t play without a social.
You have been had with your pants down this time and may feel like a fool. But you won’t be the first and you won’t be the last.
Don’t dwell on it mate. Get yourself out and find something to do in eh Oldham? "
The only thing I found was a nearby pub. I'll probably just have the one pint and then call it a night. |
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"I think people who have been stood up at hotel meets should be reimbursed the money they wasted on the hotel room.
By who?
I don't know. I just think it's unfair to pay for a hotel room and then to be played like a mug."
If someone hasnt turned up for a meet, they're unlikely to go oh fair enough I'll pay for the room, are they?
Its annoying but put it down to experience. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think people who have been stood up at hotel meets should be reimbursed the money they wasted on the hotel room.
By who?
I don't know. I just think it's unfair to pay for a hotel room and then to be played like a mug.
If someone hasnt turned up for a meet, they're unlikely to go oh fair enough I'll pay for the room, are they?
Its annoying but put it down to experience."
Fair enough. To make sure I don't fall for it again, I'm not doing any hotel meets at all. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"I think people who have been stood up at hotel meets should be reimbursed the money they wasted on the hotel room.
By who?
I don't know. I just think it's unfair to pay for a hotel room and then to be played like a mug."
It is but you can't do a thing about it apart from learn from this. Do what twisted said turn it in to a positive otherwise you're going to beat yourself up about it.
Social first next time, somewhere mutual, and free. Yes? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think people who have been stood up at hotel meets should be reimbursed the money they wasted on the hotel room.
By who?
I don't know. I just think it's unfair to pay for a hotel room and then to be played like a mug.
It is but you can't do a thing about it apart from learn from this. Do what twisted said turn it in to a positive otherwise you're going to beat yourself up about it.
Social first next time, somewhere mutual, and free. Yes? "
I'll try. I find it hard enough to put my foot through door when it comes to introducing myself to any ladies I don't know on Fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think people who have been stood up at hotel meets should be reimbursed the money they wasted on the hotel room.
By who?
I don't know. I just think it's unfair to pay for a hotel room and then to be played like a mug.
It is but you can't do a thing about it apart from learn from this. Do what twisted said turn it in to a positive otherwise you're going to beat yourself up about it.
Social first next time, somewhere mutual, and free. Yes?
I'll try. I find it hard enough to put my foot through door when it comes to introducing myself to any ladies I don't know on Fab."
Opp it sounds like you have fallen fowl to yet anougher fab fake profile and it was a bloke. I wont meet anybody that isnt atleast pic varied but really only like more than one varie. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well, it's near 5pm and still not seen or heard from her so I've reported her for standing me up.
Like I said, this is the last time I'm doing a hotel meet and never doing it again. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ah mate, same thing happened to me. I had 7 women booked for a hotel room on Friday, and only 5 showed up. I was GUTTED!lol did you go to dropem? "
What is this dropem? I've never heard of it. |
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"Ah mate, same thing happened to me. I had 7 women booked for a hotel room on Friday, and only 5 showed up. I was GUTTED!lol did you go to dropem?
What is this dropem? I've never heard of it."
Think it’s a joke mate. Play on words. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ah mate, same thing happened to me. I had 7 women booked for a hotel room on Friday, and only 5 showed up. I was GUTTED!lol did you go to dropem?
What is this dropem? I've never heard of it.
Think it’s a joke mate. Play on words. "
Ah ok |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well, it's near 5pm and still not seen or heard from her so I've reported her for standing me up.
Like I said, this is the last time I'm doing a hotel meet and never doing it again."
Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater there fella. It's not the hotel meet that was the issue here.
I understand your frustration and irritation with the situation but the most important thing is to learn the important lessons from this;
Always do your due diligence, that means having a phone number or a call to verify they are 'real'.
Have a social, that way you can tell if they are who they say and to ascertain chemistry.
Make sure you hear from them on the day, even if it's just a 'hi, still on for today?'.
Don't book anything that can't be cancelled, it might mean paying a little more on the day but even the most reliable, real people cancel at times.
Have a 'plan B' in the event of being let down. Not someone else lined up, that's cruel. I mean have something else that you can do in the event of plans falling through, so you're not left sitting around.
I'm not blaming you for being caught out, it happens to everyone. Just learn for next time and chin up fella.
Tea
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well, it's near 5pm and still not seen or heard from her so I've reported her for standing me up.
Like I said, this is the last time I'm doing a hotel meet and never doing it again.
Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater there fella. It's not the hotel meet that was the issue here.
I understand your frustration and irritation with the situation but the most important thing is to learn the important lessons from this;
Always do your due diligence, that means having a phone number or a call to verify they are 'real'.
Have a social, that way you can tell if they are who they say and to ascertain chemistry.
Make sure you hear from them on the day, even if it's just a 'hi, still on for today?'.
Don't book anything that can't be cancelled, it might mean paying a little more on the day but even the most reliable, real people cancel at times.
Have a 'plan B' in the event of being let down. Not someone else lined up, that's cruel. I mean have something else that you can do in the event of plans falling through, so you're not left sitting around.
I'm not blaming you for being caught out, it happens to everyone. Just learn for next time and chin up fella.
Tea
"
I'll keep it in mind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Certainly sounds like it. Is she verified?
She isn't no but she does have a face pic and has gold membership"
'He' is probably a more likely description. You've been had. Older and wiser now |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As you can see in my other threads, everything turned out alright in the end as two friends of mine who I know on here took me to the Gatehouse and I had a great time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think people who have been stood up at hotel meets should be reimbursed the money they wasted on the hotel room.
By who?
I don't know. I just think it's unfair to pay for a hotel room and then to be played like a mug."
Next time before booking a hotel for a person you havnt met before have a phone conversation/exchange specific photos/have a social.
Im guessing it was a man with a stolen photo.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think people who have been stood up at hotel meets should be reimbursed the money they wasted on the hotel room.
By who?
I don't know. I just think it's unfair to pay for a hotel room and then to be played like a mug.
Next time before booking a hotel for a person you havnt met before have a phone conversation/exchange specific photos/have a social.
Im guessing it was a man with a stolen photo.
"
Lesson learned |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As you can see in my other threads, everything turned out alright in the end as two friends of mine who I know on here took me to the Gatehouse and I had a great time "
Fantastic!
Good on them and good on you for not slumping
P |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As you can see in my other threads, everything turned out alright in the end as two friends of mine who I know on here took me to the Gatehouse and I had a great time
Fantastic!
Good on them and good on you for not slumping
P"
Yeah. They were planning on going to the Gatehouse themselves but when I told them about what happened, they asked if I wanted to come along and they would drop me back off at the hotel afterwards and I said yeah ok.
I'm glad I went as it certainly beat being in a hotel on my own all night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As you can see in my other threads, everything turned out alright in the end as two friends of mine who I know on here took me to the Gatehouse and I had a great time
Fantastic!
Good on them and good on you for not slumping
P
Yeah. They were planning on going to the Gatehouse themselves but when I told them about what happened, they asked if I wanted to come along and they would drop me back off at the hotel afterwards and I said yeah ok.
I'm glad I went as it certainly beat being in a hotel on my own all night "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As you can see in my other threads, everything turned out alright in the end as two friends of mine who I know on here took me to the Gatehouse and I had a great time
Fantastic!
Good on them and good on you for not slumping
P
Yeah. They were planning on going to the Gatehouse themselves but when I told them about what happened, they asked if I wanted to come along and they would drop me back off at the hotel afterwards and I said yeah ok.
I'm glad I went as it certainly beat being in a hotel on my own all night "
glad you had a great time |
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This is why Fab frustrates me!
Just when I think I have found a genuine single man, he stands me up!
I always report those who do stand me up and then block
Unless they have actually given me enough time and warning with an actual reason!
This is why I don’t do first time play meets, it’s always a social, if they can’t show up for that then I don’t trust them to make further plans where money is required!! |
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