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Educate me about divorce
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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but hold the stampede, I'm not about to ht the market anytime soon, or ever hopefully. Serious thread for a change.
If a couple have been split for 5 years, no kids involved but there is a property, what's the deal? Roughly how much will a divorce cost and what's involved, solicitors etc?
With regards to the property, the male lives there and has solely paid the mortgage since the split and the female just wants back what she paid in.
I have zero knowledge of such matters but I have this close friend who's needs somebody to give him a good kick up the arse so he can get on with his life before it's too late. I'm done with being the shoulder to cry on and I'm going to try and guide him down the righteous path.
All serious answers will be appreciated, all attempts at humour will be marked out of ten. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
In all honesty it very much depends on a number of factors - how amicable it really is, whether there are kids involved, whether when push comes to shove one party or the other will want more than what has been agreed previously etc etc.
In theory if both parties are in complete agreement about who owes who what, they could go to a solicitor get an agreement drawn up and walk away happy with a fairly minor fee payable to a solicitor for doing the legal stuff - however IF one party doesn't agree and it goes long and drawn out then legal fees can mount up into thousands as both parties argue the toss and eventually end up in court.
There are three sides to a divorce, the financial settlement and the divorce itself, plus any contact arrangements for any kids involved if applicable - they are all separate from one another and don't even have to be done at the same time (although I think a financial agreement has to be in place before, or at the same time as a divorce agreement).
My advice would be to seek legal advice before doing anything though - most solicitors will offer a free hour to explain the process and go over high level details. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Husband and I split same way.. we were completely amicable so filed our own documents for a few hundred pounds. We agreed the amount I was owed, he paid me and we contacted the mortgage company. It was very simple but only because we were friends with a clear agreement.
Saff |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can it not be resolved between the two parties, keeping legal involvement to a minimum ?
I walked away with the clothes on my back and an assurance that any loans in my name would be written off as part of a re-mortgage
We only involved solicitors for the dotted line stuff. The costs were minimal. |
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"Husband and I split same way.. we were completely amicable so filed our own documents for a few hundred pounds. We agreed the amount I was owed, he paid me and we contacted the mortgage company. It was very simple but only because we were friends with a clear agreement.
Saff"
This  |
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Hello.
Log on to the court website. All the necessary papers are there.
It doesn't cost much. A few hundred pounds.
He won't need a solicitor as long as they agree everything themselves.
A solicitor is only necessary if they can't agree or if there are children and access and maintenance needs to be agreed.
If they are married they own the house equally but if one partner decides to say 'fuck it - you have it' and signs the house over then it's done.....
in 2006 I paid the courts about 300 so in today's money I don't know what that will be.
If they can agree then there is no need for solicitors people should realise this. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In all honesty it very much depends on a number of factors - how amicable it really is, whether there are kids involved, whether when push comes to shove one party or the other will want more than what has been agreed previously etc etc.
In theory if both parties are in complete agreement about who owes who what, they could go to a solicitor get an agreement drawn up and walk away happy with a fairly minor fee payable to a solicitor for doing the legal stuff - however IF one party doesn't agree and it goes long and drawn out then legal fees can mount up into thousands as both parties argue the toss and eventually end up in court.
There are three sides to a divorce, the financial settlement and the divorce itself, plus any contact arrangements for any kids involved if applicable - they are all separate from one another and don't even have to be done at the same time (although I think a financial agreement has to be in place before, or at the same time as a divorce agreement).
My advice would be to seek legal advice before doing anything though - most solicitors will offer a free hour to explain the process and go over high level details."
Thank Gemini. It's amicable to the point where she's saying just get on with it but he won't do anything about it. She doesn't want anything because she was strayed. I'm pushing him in case she changes her mind at any time. She's got f all, he's got a decent pension coming in the next 3-5 years...which is why I'm pushing him to get this sorted but he's being an arse. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hello.
Log on to the court website. All the necessary papers are there.
It doesn't cost much. A few hundred pounds.
He won't need a solicitor as long as they agree everything themselves.
A solicitor is only necessary if they can't agree or if there are children and access and maintenance needs to be agreed.
If they are married they own the house equally but if one partner decides to say 'fuck it - you have it' and signs the house over then it's done.....
in 2006 I paid the courts about 300 so in today's money I don't know what that will be.
If they can agree then there is no need for solicitors people should realise this. "
This one? https://www.gov.uk/apply-for-divorce |
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"In all honesty it very much depends on a number of factors - how amicable it really is, whether there are kids involved, whether when push comes to shove one party or the other will want more than what has been agreed previously etc etc.
In theory if both parties are in complete agreement about who owes who what, they could go to a solicitor get an agreement drawn up and walk away happy with a fairly minor fee payable to a solicitor for doing the legal stuff - however IF one party doesn't agree and it goes long and drawn out then legal fees can mount up into thousands as both parties argue the toss and eventually end up in court.
There are three sides to a divorce, the financial settlement and the divorce itself, plus any contact arrangements for any kids involved if applicable - they are all separate from one another and don't even have to be done at the same time (although I think a financial agreement has to be in place before, or at the same time as a divorce agreement).
My advice would be to seek legal advice before doing anything though - most solicitors will offer a free hour to explain the process and go over high level details.
Thank Gemini. It's amicable to the point where she's saying just get on with it but he won't do anything about it. She doesn't want anything because she was strayed. I'm pushing him in case she changes her mind at any time. She's got f all, he's got a decent pension coming in the next 3-5 years...which is why I'm pushing him to get this sorted but he's being an arse."
Technically in relation to pe sions the other person in entitled to 50% regardless but if she is in agreement then you can have a consent order completed where you declare everything you have and then both parties sign to agree to how it has been split or if one agrees not have the pension. It also means that with a consent order/clean break neither party can come back for money in the future once this has been approved by the court.
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We went the mediation route as the ex wanted more than her fair share.
Cost about £100 each if I recall.
Worked out ok, mediator did the job, solicitor rubber stamped it.
Court approved it.
Job done. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Divorce and property rights are separate issues. A divorce can be undertaken with or without financial settlement.
Property only becomes a legal matter if one or both parties pursue it as such. However, the cost for doing so is, relatively speaking, high.
Additionally, nobody is obliged to do anything, least of all respond to letters from solicitors. A court summons is pretty much the only document that carries any weight. Short of that, there's no case to answer. |
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"Hello.
Log on to the court website. All the necessary papers are there.
It doesn't cost much. A few hundred pounds.
He won't need a solicitor as long as they agree everything themselves.
A solicitor is only necessary if they can't agree or if there are children and access and maintenance needs to be agreed.
If they are married they own the house equally but if one partner decides to say 'fuck it - you have it' and signs the house over then it's done.....
in 2006 I paid the courts about 300 so in today's money I don't know what that will be.
If they can agree then there is no need for solicitors people should realise this.
This one? https://www.gov.uk/apply-for-divorce"
Dear God. £550 robbing bastards. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hope this might help assuming they are married (which is the simplest).
Firstly costs. If the couple work out the financial settlement amicably between themselves then a couple of grand for the solicitors to do all the legal stuff. If they can't then they go to mediation and costs go up to about £5K. If they can't agree a settlement through mediatiin and go to court to fight it out you are looking at about typically £20K in costs.
The financial settlement is usually finalised between the decree nisi and decree absolute (ie it is required to be finalised for absolute) but can be done anytime earlier. If the house is in joint name then neither party should agree to sell the house until the financial settlement is agreed and drawn up legally.
As for the actual settlement it is difficult to say without detailed financial analysis of the circumstances. Essentially it boils down to splitting the wealth accumulated whilst married plus future maintenence which very much depends on age, length of marriage and future earning potential of each partner. Some of the lump sum from the split of the capital can be used as a forward payment against future maintenance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also who was at fault for the divorce does not effect the financial settlement. The UK essentially operates a no fault system when deciding how to split everything. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"In all honesty it very much depends on a number of factors - how amicable it really is, whether there are kids involved, whether when push comes to shove one party or the other will want more than what has been agreed previously etc etc.
In theory if both parties are in complete agreement about who owes who what, they could go to a solicitor get an agreement drawn up and walk away happy with a fairly minor fee payable to a solicitor for doing the legal stuff - however IF one party doesn't agree and it goes long and drawn out then legal fees can mount up into thousands as both parties argue the toss and eventually end up in court.
There are three sides to a divorce, the financial settlement and the divorce itself, plus any contact arrangements for any kids involved if applicable - they are all separate from one another and don't even have to be done at the same time (although I think a financial agreement has to be in place before, or at the same time as a divorce agreement).
My advice would be to seek legal advice before doing anything though - most solicitors will offer a free hour to explain the process and go over high level details.
Thank Gemini. It's amicable to the point where she's saying just get on with it but he won't do anything about it. She doesn't want anything because she was strayed. I'm pushing him in case she changes her mind at any time. She's got f all, he's got a decent pension coming in the next 3-5 years...which is why I'm pushing him to get this sorted but he's being an arse."
Without going into detail I know how fast "amicable" can turn into absolute hatred, so my advice would be to get a legally binding financial agreement in place NOW, even if your friend doesn't want to go down the divorce route yet - without a financial agreement in place either party can backtrack on any verbal agreement at any time and have a legal claim to a share of the assets.
To give an extreme example - your friend has verbally agreed to give his ex £50k for her share of the house and assets which is a fair and agreed sum but then wins this Friday's Euromillions and is £20m to the good - without a financial agreement in place for the £50k agreed, the ex would have a legal claim to half of the £20m.
Now that in itself wouldn't be so awful, because your friend would still have £10m and may just accept that - however let's say he got made redundant and got a pay out of £50k and was then unable to find another job so needed the money to support himself till he did - the ex would still be able to lay a claim to part of that additional £50k with no legal agreement.
So for no other reason than to legally protect himself, your friend should at least get a financial agreement. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In all honesty it very much depends on a number of factors - how amicable it really is, whether there are kids involved, whether when push comes to shove one party or the other will want more than what has been agreed previously etc etc.
In theory if both parties are in complete agreement about who owes who what, they could go to a solicitor get an agreement drawn up and walk away happy with a fairly minor fee payable to a solicitor for doing the legal stuff - however IF one party doesn't agree and it goes long and drawn out then legal fees can mount up into thousands as both parties argue the toss and eventually end up in court.
There are three sides to a divorce, the financial settlement and the divorce itself, plus any contact arrangements for any kids involved if applicable - they are all separate from one another and don't even have to be done at the same time (although I think a financial agreement has to be in place before, or at the same time as a divorce agreement).
My advice would be to seek legal advice before doing anything though - most solicitors will offer a free hour to explain the process and go over high level details.
Thank Gemini. It's amicable to the point where she's saying just get on with it but he won't do anything about it. She doesn't want anything because she was strayed. I'm pushing him in case she changes her mind at any time. She's got f all, he's got a decent pension coming in the next 3-5 years...which is why I'm pushing him to get this sorted but he's being an arse.
Without going into detail I know how fast "amicable" can turn into absolute hatred, so my advice would be to get a legally binding financial agreement in place NOW, even if your friend doesn't want to go down the divorce route yet - without a financial agreement in place either party can backtrack on any verbal agreement at any time and have a legal claim to a share of the assets.
To give an extreme example - your friend has verbally agreed to give his ex £50k for her share of the house and assets which is a fair and agreed sum but then wins this Friday's Euromillions and is £20m to the good - without a financial agreement in place for the £50k agreed, the ex would have a legal claim to half of the £20m.
Now that in itself wouldn't be so awful, because your friend would still have £10m and may just accept that - however let's say he got made redundant and got a pay out of £50k and was then unable to find another job so needed the money to support himself till he did - the ex would still be able to lay a claim to part of that additional £50k with no legal agreement.
So for no other reason than to legally protect himself, your friend should at least get a financial agreement."
Sounds like sage advice and on the face of it a legally binding financial agreement looks perfect for this situation, much appreciated. |
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"Hello.
Log on to the court website. All the necessary papers are there.
It doesn't cost much. A few hundred pounds.
He won't need a solicitor as long as they agree everything themselves.
A solicitor is only necessary if they can't agree or if there are children and access and maintenance needs to be agreed.
If they are married they own the house equally but if one partner decides to say 'fuck it - you have it' and signs the house over then it's done.....
in 2006 I paid the courts about 300 so in today's money I don't know what that will be.
If they can agree then there is no need for solicitors people should realise this.
This one? https://www.gov.uk/apply-for-divorce
Dear God. £550 robbing bastards. "
Jesus H Christ!! Knew I should of done my divorce when it was still I. The 300 mark. If I could take my arse off and kick it I would  |
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Well a good friend of mine got divorced three times. What he learnt from the two divorce cases, which he applied in the third marriage. Every time he purchased something he said it’s the wife’s. The third divorce was less painful as everything was hers from day one. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In all honesty it very much depends on a number of factors - how amicable it really is, whether there are kids involved, whether when push comes to shove one party or the other will want more than what has been agreed previously etc etc.
In theory if both parties are in complete agreement about who owes who what, they could go to a solicitor get an agreement drawn up and walk away happy with a fairly minor fee payable to a solicitor for doing the legal stuff - however IF one party doesn't agree and it goes long and drawn out then legal fees can mount up into thousands as both parties argue the toss and eventually end up in court.
There are three sides to a divorce, the financial settlement and the divorce itself, plus any contact arrangements for any kids involved if applicable - they are all separate from one another and don't even have to be done at the same time (although I think a financial agreement has to be in place before, or at the same time as a divorce agreement).
My advice would be to seek legal advice before doing anything though - most solicitors will offer a free hour to explain the process and go over high level details.
Thank Gemini. It's amicable to the point where she's saying just get on with it but he won't do anything about it. She doesn't want anything because she was strayed. I'm pushing him in case she changes her mind at any time. She's got f all, he's got a decent pension coming in the next 3-5 years...which is why I'm pushing him to get this sorted but he's being an arse.
Technically in relation to pe sions the other person in entitled to 50% regardless but if she is in agreement then you can have a consent order completed where you declare everything you have and then both parties sign to agree to how it has been split or if one agrees not have the pension. It also means that with a consent order/clean break neither party can come back for money in the future once this has been approved by the court.
"
It's his pension that bothers me the most, he's just not awake to the situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In all honesty it very much depends on a number of factors - how amicable it really is, whether there are kids involved, whether when push comes to shove one party or the other will want more than what has been agreed previously etc etc.
In theory if both parties are in complete agreement about who owes who what, they could go to a solicitor get an agreement drawn up and walk away happy with a fairly minor fee payable to a solicitor for doing the legal stuff - however IF one party doesn't agree and it goes long and drawn out then legal fees can mount up into thousands as both parties argue the toss and eventually end up in court.
There are three sides to a divorce, the financial settlement and the divorce itself, plus any contact arrangements for any kids involved if applicable - they are all separate from one another and don't even have to be done at the same time (although I think a financial agreement has to be in place before, or at the same time as a divorce agreement).
My advice would be to seek legal advice before doing anything though - most solicitors will offer a free hour to explain the process and go over high level details.
Thank Gemini. It's amicable to the point where she's saying just get on with it but he won't do anything about it. She doesn't want anything because she was strayed. I'm pushing him in case she changes her mind at any time. She's got f all, he's got a decent pension coming in the next 3-5 years...which is why I'm pushing him to get this sorted but he's being an arse."
Although it's all sounding OK at the moment I suspect it won't end up being so. At some point she will (rightly) take some legal advice once presented with signing a settlement and at that point the solicitor will give her good advice. Your obligations are your obligations in divorce (and they are pretty fair really) and although your friend has not taken their pension yet it is already in play. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"In all honesty it very much depends on a number of factors - how amicable it really is, whether there are kids involved, whether when push comes to shove one party or the other will want more than what has been agreed previously etc etc.
In theory if both parties are in complete agreement about who owes who what, they could go to a solicitor get an agreement drawn up and walk away happy with a fairly minor fee payable to a solicitor for doing the legal stuff - however IF one party doesn't agree and it goes long and drawn out then legal fees can mount up into thousands as both parties argue the toss and eventually end up in court.
There are three sides to a divorce, the financial settlement and the divorce itself, plus any contact arrangements for any kids involved if applicable - they are all separate from one another and don't even have to be done at the same time (although I think a financial agreement has to be in place before, or at the same time as a divorce agreement).
My advice would be to seek legal advice before doing anything though - most solicitors will offer a free hour to explain the process and go over high level details.
Thank Gemini. It's amicable to the point where she's saying just get on with it but he won't do anything about it. She doesn't want anything because she was strayed. I'm pushing him in case she changes her mind at any time. She's got f all, he's got a decent pension coming in the next 3-5 years...which is why I'm pushing him to get this sorted but he's being an arse.
Technically in relation to pe sions the other person in entitled to 50% regardless but if she is in agreement then you can have a consent order completed where you declare everything you have and then both parties sign to agree to how it has been split or if one agrees not have the pension. It also means that with a consent order/clean break neither party can come back for money in the future once this has been approved by the court.
It's his pension that bothers me the most, he's just not awake to the situation. "
Any asset, including pensions, endowments etc can be included in a financial agreement.
The other option that may be open to him is mediation - which is generally cheaper than a solicitors but still provides a legally binding agreement - if both parties already agree who has what it should be fairly straightforward. |
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"In all honesty it very much depends on a number of factors - how amicable it really is, whether there are kids involved, whether when push comes to shove one party or the other will want more than what has been agreed previously etc etc.
In theory if both parties are in complete agreement about who owes who what, they could go to a solicitor get an agreement drawn up and walk away happy with a fairly minor fee payable to a solicitor for doing the legal stuff - however IF one party doesn't agree and it goes long and drawn out then legal fees can mount up into thousands as both parties argue the toss and eventually end up in court.
There are three sides to a divorce, the financial settlement and the divorce itself, plus any contact arrangements for any kids involved if applicable - they are all separate from one another and don't even have to be done at the same time (although I think a financial agreement has to be in place before, or at the same time as a divorce agreement).
My advice would be to seek legal advice before doing anything though - most solicitors will offer a free hour to explain the process and go over high level details.
Thank Gemini. It's amicable to the point where she's saying just get on with it but he won't do anything about it. She doesn't want anything because she was strayed. I'm pushing him in case she changes her mind at any time. She's got f all, he's got a decent pension coming in the next 3-5 years...which is why I'm pushing him to get this sorted but he's being an arse.
Technically in relation to pe sions the other person in entitled to 50% regardless but if she is in agreement then you can have a consent order completed where you declare everything you have and then both parties sign to agree to how it has been split or if one agrees not have the pension. It also means that with a consent order/clean break neither party can come back for money in the future once this has been approved by the court.
It's his pension that bothers me the most, he's just not awake to the situation. "
I've just had a meeting about mine. Legally she will be entitled to 50%....absolutely nothing you can do about it if it was contributed to while married!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In all honesty it very much depends on a number of factors - how amicable it really is, whether there are kids involved, whether when push comes to shove one party or the other will want more than what has been agreed previously etc etc.
In theory if both parties are in complete agreement about who owes who what, they could go to a solicitor get an agreement drawn up and walk away happy with a fairly minor fee payable to a solicitor for doing the legal stuff - however IF one party doesn't agree and it goes long and drawn out then legal fees can mount up into thousands as both parties argue the toss and eventually end up in court.
There are three sides to a divorce, the financial settlement and the divorce itself, plus any contact arrangements for any kids involved if applicable - they are all separate from one another and don't even have to be done at the same time (although I think a financial agreement has to be in place before, or at the same time as a divorce agreement).
My advice would be to seek legal advice before doing anything though - most solicitors will offer a free hour to explain the process and go over high level details.
Thank Gemini. It's amicable to the point where she's saying just get on with it but he won't do anything about it. She doesn't want anything because she was strayed. I'm pushing him in case she changes her mind at any time. She's got f all, he's got a decent pension coming in the next 3-5 years...which is why I'm pushing him to get this sorted but he's being an arse.
Although it's all sounding OK at the moment I suspect it won't end up being so. At some point she will (rightly) take some legal advice once presented with signing a settlement and at that point the solicitor will give her good advice. Your obligations are your obligations in divorce (and they are pretty fair really) and although your friend has not taken their pension yet it is already in play. "
He had his chance when she was beside herself with guilt and other factors were in play. Her own life is getting back on track now and may start thinking more clearly. |
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"In all honesty it very much depends on a number of factors - how amicable it really is, whether there are kids involved, whether when push comes to shove one party or the other will want more than what has been agreed previously etc etc.
In theory if both parties are in complete agreement about who owes who what, they could go to a solicitor get an agreement drawn up and walk away happy with a fairly minor fee payable to a solicitor for doing the legal stuff - however IF one party doesn't agree and it goes long and drawn out then legal fees can mount up into thousands as both parties argue the toss and eventually end up in court.
There are three sides to a divorce, the financial settlement and the divorce itself, plus any contact arrangements for any kids involved if applicable - they are all separate from one another and don't even have to be done at the same time (although I think a financial agreement has to be in place before, or at the same time as a divorce agreement).
My advice would be to seek legal advice before doing anything though - most solicitors will offer a free hour to explain the process and go over high level details.
Thank Gemini. It's amicable to the point where she's saying just get on with it but he won't do anything about it. She doesn't want anything because she was strayed. I'm pushing him in case she changes her mind at any time. She's got f all, he's got a decent pension coming in the next 3-5 years...which is why I'm pushing him to get this sorted but he's being an arse.
Without going into detail I know how fast "amicable" can turn into absolute hatred, so my advice would be to get a legally binding financial agreement in place NOW, even if your friend doesn't want to go down the divorce route yet - without a financial agreement in place either party can backtrack on any verbal agreement at any time and have a legal claim to a share of the assets.
To give an extreme example - your friend has verbally agreed to give his ex £50k for her share of the house and assets which is a fair and agreed sum but then wins this Friday's Euromillions and is £20m to the good - without a financial agreement in place for the £50k agreed, the ex would have a legal claim to half of the £20m.
Now that in itself wouldn't be so awful, because your friend would still have £10m and may just accept that - however let's say he got made redundant and got a pay out of £50k and was then unable to find another job so needed the money to support himself till he did - the ex would still be able to lay a claim to part of that additional £50k with no legal agreement.
So for no other reason than to legally protect himself, your friend should at least get a financial agreement."
Totally agree with Gemini - get the financial bit sorted 1st - financial remedy order costs about £225 to get through court, there’s templates on line if you want to avoid the solicitors fees.
Things change really quickly when theirs money involved and guilt fades, so get it agreed early, and get everything down in black and white, That way no one can come back in years to come and claim part of the pension pot, or more money on the house.
The divorce bit is easy - don’t need a solicitor £550 for the nisi & an extra £50 for the absolute. Good luck xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In all honesty it very much depends on a number of factors - how amicable it really is, whether there are kids involved, whether when push comes to shove one party or the other will want more than what has been agreed previously etc etc.
In theory if both parties are in complete agreement about who owes who what, they could go to a solicitor get an agreement drawn up and walk away happy with a fairly minor fee payable to a solicitor for doing the legal stuff - however IF one party doesn't agree and it goes long and drawn out then legal fees can mount up into thousands as both parties argue the toss and eventually end up in court.
There are three sides to a divorce, the financial settlement and the divorce itself, plus any contact arrangements for any kids involved if applicable - they are all separate from one another and don't even have to be done at the same time (although I think a financial agreement has to be in place before, or at the same time as a divorce agreement).
My advice would be to seek legal advice before doing anything though - most solicitors will offer a free hour to explain the process and go over high level details.
Thank Gemini. It's amicable to the point where she's saying just get on with it but he won't do anything about it. She doesn't want anything because she was strayed. I'm pushing him in case she changes her mind at any time. She's got f all, he's got a decent pension coming in the next 3-5 years...which is why I'm pushing him to get this sorted but he's being an arse.
Technically in relation to pe sions the other person in entitled to 50% regardless but if she is in agreement then you can have a consent order completed where you declare everything you have and then both parties sign to agree to how it has been split or if one agrees not have the pension. It also means that with a consent order/clean break neither party can come back for money in the future once this has been approved by the court.
It's his pension that bothers me the most, he's just not awake to the situation.
I've just had a meeting about mine. Legally she will be entitled to 50%....absolutely nothing you can do about it if it was contributed to while married!!!! "
As it should be. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In all honesty it very much depends on a number of factors - how amicable it really is, whether there are kids involved, whether when push comes to shove one party or the other will want more than what has been agreed previously etc etc.
In theory if both parties are in complete agreement about who owes who what, they could go to a solicitor get an agreement drawn up and walk away happy with a fairly minor fee payable to a solicitor for doing the legal stuff - however IF one party doesn't agree and it goes long and drawn out then legal fees can mount up into thousands as both parties argue the toss and eventually end up in court.
There are three sides to a divorce, the financial settlement and the divorce itself, plus any contact arrangements for any kids involved if applicable - they are all separate from one another and don't even have to be done at the same time (although I think a financial agreement has to be in place before, or at the same time as a divorce agreement).
My advice would be to seek legal advice before doing anything though - most solicitors will offer a free hour to explain the process and go over high level details.
Thank Gemini. It's amicable to the point where she's saying just get on with it but he won't do anything about it. She doesn't want anything because she was strayed. I'm pushing him in case she changes her mind at any time. She's got f all, he's got a decent pension coming in the next 3-5 years...which is why I'm pushing him to get this sorted but he's being an arse.
Without going into detail I know how fast "amicable" can turn into absolute hatred, so my advice would be to get a legally binding financial agreement in place NOW, even if your friend doesn't want to go down the divorce route yet - without a financial agreement in place either party can backtrack on any verbal agreement at any time and have a legal claim to a share of the assets.
To give an extreme example - your friend has verbally agreed to give his ex £50k for her share of the house and assets which is a fair and agreed sum but then wins this Friday's Euromillions and is £20m to the good - without a financial agreement in place for the £50k agreed, the ex would have a legal claim to half of the £20m.
Now that in itself wouldn't be so awful, because your friend would still have £10m and may just accept that - however let's say he got made redundant and got a pay out of £50k and was then unable to find another job so needed the money to support himself till he did - the ex would still be able to lay a claim to part of that additional £50k with no legal agreement.
So for no other reason than to legally protect himself, your friend should at least get a financial agreement.
Totally agree with Gemini - get the financial bit sorted 1st - financial remedy order costs about £225 to get through court, there’s templates on line if you want to avoid the solicitors fees.
Things change really quickly when theirs money involved and guilt fades, so get it agreed early, and get everything down in black and white, That way no one can come back in years to come and claim part of the pension pot, or more money on the house.
The divorce bit is easy - don’t need a solicitor £550 for the nisi & an extra £50 for the absolute. Good luck xx
"
Thank you, I'm on the case. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
8.5/10 
I shoulda used a different avatar to increase my score.
Ahem. Taps fingers. "
With my tongue wrapped around yours, why do you need more than 8.5? It's just greedy. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"
8.5/10
I shoulda used a different avatar to increase my score.
Ahem. Taps fingers.
With my tongue wrapped around yours, why do you need more than 8.5? It's just greedy. "
6.75/10
I just am. Greedy. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"
Although it's all sounding OK at the moment I suspect it won't end up being so. At some point she will (rightly) take some legal advice once presented with signing a settlement and at that point the solicitor will give her good advice. Your obligations are your obligations in divorce (and they are pretty fair really) and although your friend has not taken their pension yet it is already in play. "
I'd agree with this - in my situation, a verbal settlement had been agreed and paid, all done amicably, why involve solicitors and pay them to do something we could agree amicably being the thought process - a few years later on when it was agreed to actually divorce, and this at a time when house prices were rising rapidly, one consultation with a solicitor later, during which she was advised she could get more, and in her words "talked into it by the solicitor" I was facing a further claim for a lot more money, that resulted in astronomical legal fees and a situation that to an extent still impacts me now.
Had we of got a financial agreement when we made the amicable agreement that would have been an end to it, and no claim could have been made. |
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If the settlement isn’t deemed as being fair by the judge , he won’t grant it . Yes , seriously , he has the power to say no , even if both parties agree to the terms .
So it needs to be presented in a fair way , and even though she strayed it makes not one bit of difference . Nor does the fact that he has continued to pay the mortgage on his own . She is , and this is the thing , entitled to half the value of the family home . No kids is also irrelevant in this case .
So if I was him I would present the papers stating she will get half the value of the house and hope that the judge is happy with that . She could get half his pension too ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know someone in the same situ (4 years prior to divorce proceedings). Because hes been away for 4 years and she has soley payed the mortgage for that time no kids envolved ect hes been fighting the courts for a further 2 years for a outcome he wants as initially he put 70k into the house and has decided he now wants that back because shes asked for a divorce.
Unfortunately for him its cost nearly 35k in legal costs and the time hes been away from the address hes entitled to nothing.... the donkey is still fighting it and winding himself in more debt. |
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