FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > We need a plan...
We need a plan...
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
After chatting with three different people on Fab, all of us had one thing in common. Ok two. The first one, we’re all fabulous  , the second, we all had to deal with a no show this weekend...
As we’re relatively new perhaps we’re missing something? Ok they were social meets but it’s still annoying as f**k. What do you veterans do to avoid this happening? Please share  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"After chatting with three different people on Fab, all of us had one thing in common. Ok two. The first one, we’re all fabulous , the second, we all had to deal with a no show this weekend...
As we’re relatively new perhaps we’re missing something? Ok they were social meets but it’s still annoying as f**k. What do you veterans do to avoid this happening? Please share "
Nothing is promised in this world |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"After chatting with three different people on Fab, all of us had one thing in common. Ok two. The first one, we’re all fabulous , the second, we all had to deal with a no show this weekend...
As we’re relatively new perhaps we’re missing something? Ok they were social meets but it’s still annoying as f**k. What do you veterans do to avoid this happening? Please share
Nothing is promised in this world "
But how often does this happen? I had a plan B lined up so I was ok but the others are sad... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"After chatting with three different people on Fab, all of us had one thing in common. Ok two. The first one, we’re all fabulous , the second, we all had to deal with a no show this weekend...
As we’re relatively new perhaps we’re missing something? Ok they were social meets but it’s still annoying as f**k. What do you veterans do to avoid this happening? Please share "
No shows and timewasters are rife.... block and move on - it’s a pain when you’re all excited too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Sorry to hear that it’s never nice when it happens.
I’ve been here since end of November and I’ve had 8 no shows so far.
Unfortunately it is something that happens and even with the best planning, making sure genuine, talking etc beforehand it will still happen
All I can say is try not to let it get to you, don’t see it as a missed opportunity, but leaving you free to explore better things
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *bcums3Couple
over a year ago
lanarkshire |
"Sorry to hear that it’s never nice when it happens.
I’ve been here since end of November and I’ve had 8 no shows so far.
Unfortunately it is something that happens and even with the best planning, making sure genuine, talking etc beforehand it will still happen
All I can say is try not to let it get to you, don’t see it as a missed opportunity, but leaving you free to explore better things
"
Good way of looking at it, leaving you free to explore other things we have a lot of time wasters just glad it doesn’t get as far as being stood up on the meet, but nevertheless still frustrating xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"After chatting with three different people on Fab, all of us had one thing in common. Ok two. The first one, we’re all fabulous , the second, we all had to deal with a no show this weekend...
As we’re relatively new perhaps we’re missing something? Ok they were social meets but it’s still annoying as f**k. What do you veterans do to avoid this happening? Please share
Nothing is promised in this world
But how often does this happen? I had a plan B lined up so I was ok but the others are sad..."
No expectations, the key here. There isn't anything you can do, we as a rule only meet in clubs. So a no show isn't a big deal |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
I just go to clubs, I only meet people completely by chance there unless I already know them in person. That way I'm guaranteed to have a social enjoyable night with the chance of a deeper sexual connection developing with somebody.
You can say if there's chemistry between you, you can see if they match their profile description, you can see how you get along, plus you can socialise to your hearts content. That's what works best for me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Thanks for all the advice btw. It is however, rather difficult for a single woman to go to a club. I’m not shy by any means but I don’t think I could  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"After chatting with three different people on Fab, all of us had one thing in common. Ok two. The first one, we’re all fabulous , the second, we all had to deal with a no show this weekend...
As we’re relatively new perhaps we’re missing something? Ok they were social meets but it’s still annoying as f**k. What do you veterans do to avoid this happening? Please share "
Sorry to hear about your no show OP |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
"Thanks for all the advice btw. It is however, rather difficult for a single woman to go to a club. I’m not shy by any means but I don’t think I could "
I'm a single woman and there is quite a few of us who go to clubs. Most clubs are extremely receptive to single women and will give you a tour and introduce you to people. It's just like going to a pub or nightclub but much more friendly.
There was some threads a few months ago from single women offering to meet other single women in clubs to offer a friendly face until they got settled. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it really a reportable offence 
"
Yes, when you select "report profile" it is one of the options given. I never use it for someone who cancels however last minute but I have used it for someone who just went silent at meet time with no explanation ever given. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Thanks for all the advice btw. It is however, rather difficult for a single woman to go to a club. I’m not shy by any means but I don’t think I could "
Your local to me. I have been to a club a couple of times. I'd be up for a club we could be each others wing woman x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
There isn't a great deal you can do unfortunately OP other than taking time to form a connection and a little due diligence to be as sure as you can be that the other person is as invested in meeting you as you are them and even then it's no guarantee - some people are just out to lead you astray, or enjoy the thrill of the chase more than the actual meeting.
Pretty much all of my meets have been with people I have been chatting to for some time (usually months) before we've got round to meeting, by which time I'm pretty sure they are going to turn up - hasn't failed me yet.
Sorry it's happened to you though.
Clubs are usually very welcoming of single ladies and will take time to ensure that they don't feel pressured or awkward but appreciate that it is daunting. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have been swinging on and off for about 8 years and never had a no show.. Nor been one.
Advice? It's difficult because I don't know how you select potential meets or what criteria you use, some rules I stick by:
1. If the meeting is arranged after midnight (even if its for a week in advance), it generally means it won't happen (d*unk, lonely or wanking)
2. I only meet verified (by meeting or photo)
3. I tend to avoid newbies, no offense to any, just I think it's good for people to bed themselves in a little and get their head around things.
4. I message before I leave for the meeting (either phone or fab), this message is prearranged with the person/s I am meeting the day before, with the caveat that if they don't respond, I won't be coming
5. I don't do sex talk when messaging on here, some people are in it for the wanks and they soon lose interest if you don't engage
6. Judge the tone of the messages pre-meet, I don't know how to word this one, but it's down to how you read people.
That's about it, sorry if it's a bit "knowitall", I certainly don't but you asked for advice.
Meow x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"After chatting with three different people on Fab, all of us had one thing in common. Ok two. The first one, we’re all fabulous , the second, we all had to deal with a no show this weekend...
As we’re relatively new perhaps we’re missing something? Ok they were social meets but it’s still annoying as f**k. What do you veterans do to avoid this happening? Please share "
Never meet lol you avoid disappointment 100%  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have been swinging on and off for about 8 years and never had a no show.. Nor been one.
Advice? It's difficult because I don't know how you select potential meets or what criteria you use, some rules I stick by:
1. If the meeting is arranged after midnight (even if its for a week in advance), it generally means it won't happen (d*unk, lonely or wanking)
2. I only meet verified (by meeting or photo)
3. I tend to avoid newbies, no offense to any, just I think it's good for people to bed themselves in a little and get their head around things.
4. I message before I leave for the meeting (either phone or fab), this message is prearranged with the person/s I am meeting the day before, with the caveat that if they don't respond, I won't be coming
5. I don't do sex talk when messaging on here, some people are in it for the wanks and they soon lose interest if you don't engage
6. Judge the tone of the messages pre-meet, I don't know how to word this one, but it's down to how you read people.
That's about it, sorry if it's a bit "knowitall", I certainly don't but you asked for advice.
Meow x"
Thank you. This is very useful. Mine was a newbie who said he’d been in and off Fab for years... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As others have said, there is very little you can do about it.
Someone earlier mentioned having no expectations of others on here, that is paramount, a lot of people, men, women and couples, love the fantasy of this way of life, they love to talk about, go toy shopping and take pics, but in reality, that’s their limit.
I think the number of people on here are actually genuine about meeting and so is quite small compared to the total membership number.
Clubs are a good bet, but totally hear you about being a one woman, so I would suggest finding one that’s holding a couples and single women’s night, they tend to less bullish than the nights that allow single guys in. I’ve known single women who go to clubs just to watch, they don’t play at all. Really it’s entirely down to you and what you want from such a trip.
But back to your original point, it sucks, it will happen a lot, a lot of people will be blocked by you as a result, but when you do find the right ones, just WOW!
So shake off the weekend and look forward to the future OP x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There isn't a great deal you can do unfortunately OP other than taking time to form a connection and a little due diligence to be as sure as you can be that the other person is as invested in meeting you as you are them and even then it's no guarantee - some people are just out to lead you astray, or enjoy the thrill of the chase more than the actual meeting.
Pretty much all of my meets have been with people I have been chatting to for some time (usually months) before we've got round to meeting, by which time I'm pretty sure they are going to turn up - hasn't failed me yet.
Sorry it's happened to you though.
Clubs are usually very welcoming of single ladies and will take time to ensure that they don't feel pressured or awkward but appreciate that it is daunting."
Thank you, as always, oh wise one  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Thanks for all the advice btw. It is however, rather difficult for a single woman to go to a club. I’m not shy by any means but I don’t think I could
Your local to me. I have been to a club a couple of times. I'd be up for a club we could be each others wing woman x"
Going to pm you about this.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Thanks for all the advice btw. It is however, rather difficult for a single woman to go to a club. I’m not shy by any means but I don’t think I could
Your local to me. I have been to a club a couple of times. I'd be up for a club we could be each others wing woman x
Going to pm you about this.."
Great |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"As others have said, there is very little you can do about it.
Someone earlier mentioned having no expectations of others on here, that is paramount, a lot of people, men, women and couples, love the fantasy of this way of life, they love to talk about, go toy shopping and take pics, but in reality, that’s their limit.
I think the number of people on here are actually genuine about meeting and so is quite small compared to the total membership number.
Clubs are a good bet, but totally hear you about being a one woman, so I would suggest finding one that’s holding a couples and single women’s night, they tend to less bullish than the nights that allow single guys in. I’ve known single women who go to clubs just to watch, they don’t play at all. Really it’s entirely down to you and what you want from such a trip.
But back to your original point, it sucks, it will happen a lot, a lot of people will be blocked by you as a result, but when you do find the right ones, just WOW!
So shake off the weekend and look forward to the future OP x"
Thank you for the advice. Makes total sense! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Is it really a reportable offence
Very much so, if they arrange a meet with you and don't show up it is suggested by admin to report."
I just tried and poof! He’s disappeared... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have been swinging on and off for about 8 years and never had a no show.. Nor been one.
Advice? It's difficult because I don't know how you select potential meets or what criteria you use, some rules I stick by:
1. If the meeting is arranged after midnight (even if its for a week in advance), it generally means it won't happen (d*unk, lonely or wanking)
2. I only meet verified (by meeting or photo)
3. I tend to avoid newbies, no offense to any, just I think it's good for people to bed themselves in a little and get their head around things.
4. I message before I leave for the meeting (either phone or fab), this message is prearranged with the person/s I am meeting the day before, with the caveat that if they don't respond, I won't be coming
5. I don't do sex talk when messaging on here, some people are in it for the wanks and they soon lose interest if you don't engage
6. Judge the tone of the messages pre-meet, I don't know how to word this one, but it's down to how you read people.
That's about it, sorry if it's a bit "knowitall", I certainly don't but you asked for advice.
Meow x"
Absolutely, all of the above is spot on.
I do give newbies a chance but yes all of the rest works for me.
I've probably had around 4 or 5 no shows in two years and they've all been for socials, which is pretty good going I think.
You get a feel for the genuine folk out there, and theres plenty of us out there.
Good luck!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Thanks for all the advice btw. It is however, rather difficult for a single woman to go to a club. I’m not shy by any means but I don’t think I could "
I completely understand that feeling. I can imagine going on my own, would have to be with someone I trust. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have been swinging on and off for about 8 years and never had a no show.. Nor been one.
Advice? It's difficult because I don't know how you select potential meets or what criteria you use, some rules I stick by:
1. If the meeting is arranged after midnight (even if its for a week in advance), it generally means it won't happen (d*unk, lonely or wanking)
2. I only meet verified (by meeting or photo)
3. I tend to avoid newbies, no offense to any, just I think it's good for people to bed themselves in a little and get their head around things.
4. I message before I leave for the meeting (either phone or fab), this message is prearranged with the person/s I am meeting the day before, with the caveat that if they don't respond, I won't be coming
5. I don't do sex talk when messaging on here, some people are in it for the wanks and they soon lose interest if you don't engage
6. Judge the tone of the messages pre-meet, I don't know how to word this one, but it's down to how you read people.
That's about it, sorry if it's a bit "knowitall", I certainly don't but you asked for advice.
Meow x"
Good advice, however even doing all of this it still happens, nothing is guaranteed |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thanks for all the advice btw. It is however, rather difficult for a single woman to go to a club. I’m not shy by any means but I don’t think I could "
I go to clubs alone. Its not difficult x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"After chatting with three different people on Fab, all of us had one thing in common. Ok two. The first one, we’re all fabulous , the second, we all had to deal with a no show this weekend...
As we’re relatively new perhaps we’re missing something? Ok they were social meets but it’s still annoying as f**k. What do you veterans do to avoid this happening? Please share "
Rule one...expect every person who contacts you to be a complete timewasting moronic fake until they prove otherwise.
This way you will make sure you don't get taken in by the numpties, and the subsequent meets will all go well.
Proof that rule one works...11 years swinging...zero no-shows. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Rule two.
Most single guys on here are either married, or only after one thing... or both, so expect them to lie and be unreliable. Go to a club, organised group social or party to meet them, at least that way if they don't show you will still have a great night. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've been swinging for about 15 years. Never had a no show for most of that time. Recently though I've had lots despite not altering the way i chose and arrange meets so it's odd that it's only happening now. Had a no show friday and one yesterday too. Luckily yesterday i still had fun .... i meet at clubs. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Your in Birmingham, xststia is a lovely club and I've been with another single fem. Had a ball. Infact me and trim have both been but seperate as singles and both had a great time on our individual nights out which where probably a year apart. If I was you I'd start there |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
