.. Difficult one this one. So I have just started meeting someone from a regular dating site.. We have met twice and on both occasions we have had sex (hotel and my place), my dating profile is very clear about being NSA...
... But though it has only been a couple of weeks we are growing fond of one another...
Do I confess to being a swinger or just hide my profile and see how things develop? I want to be honest and say "this is a side of me you should know about" before things get carried away, but I don't want to shock her or hurt her. I don't want to be a cake and eat it kind of guy and I would hate to lose her as a friend, but I feel she needs to have informed choice as to where her emotions run...
Any advice gratefully received. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But if the relationship progress would you still want the swinging life style? Is it something you enjoy what do you enjoy about it ? Is it having sex with other women ? If you plan on making it a long term relationship then she needs to know this is the kind of thing that you do other wise it could be classed as cheating
Mrscxxx |
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"What if she's on fab as well? And feels the same about telling you she's on here?"
She's not, I did check. That's the thing about being down here, it's quite easy to find dual dating/swingers.
Part of me wants to tell her so that it's out in the open come what may, neither of us are particularly looking for longevity I think, but words have been said and I do like her |
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"But if the relationship progress would you still want the swinging life style? Is it something you enjoy what do you enjoy about it ? Is it having sex with other women ? If you plan on making it a long term relationship then she needs to know this is the kind of thing that you do other wise it could be classed as cheating
Mrscxxx "
I've been swinging most of my adult life, in the past when in relationships (and actually, I haven't had that many), I completely knocked it on the head and buried it, I can't cope with infidelity. But something was always missing.
This lifestyle is now a part of my life and I would of course love to share that, but I wouldn't want someone to agree to it, purely because they had grown fond of me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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".. Difficult one this one. So I have just started meeting someone from a regular dating site.. We have met twice and on both occasions we have had sex (hotel and my place), my dating profile is very clear about being NSA...
... But though it has only been a couple of weeks we are growing fond of one another...
Do I confess to being a swinger or just hide my profile and see how things develop? I want to be honest and say "this is a side of me you should know about" before things get carried away, but I don't want to shock her or hurt her. I don't want to be a cake and eat it kind of guy and I would hate to lose her as a friend, but I feel she needs to have informed choice as to where her emotions run...
Any advice gratefully received. "
As you're still at the stage of meeting for NSA I wouldn't say anything about here. If your feelings develop and you get closer to her then you might decide you're not as interested about this place. You could potentially risk a good relationship by being too open too soon |
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"Be honest and kind
If feelings are developing, don’t run away. It’s lovely "
That's the thing Floro, I don't want feelings to develop without her knowing my true nature, and I don't want to mask that true nature just to get my leg over. I think I shall tell her.
What you said "don't run away" that's the truth of it.. I am who I am. Thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be honest and kind
If feelings are developing, don’t run away. It’s lovely
That's the thing Floro, I don't want feelings to develop without her knowing my true nature, and I don't want to mask that true nature just to get my leg over. I think I shall tell her.
What you said "don't run away" that's the truth of it.. I am who I am. Thank you x"
If you like her ... focus on her. You may find all this fades into insignificance xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tell her. Some people are pretty disgusted by swingers and if you are developing feelings you need to know how she feels not about the future but about your past. If it freaks her out better for both of you to walk away sooner rather than later |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I was her I'd want to know. NSA can mean different things to different people, being honest about what you both want and need is the only way to stop crossed wires and someone feeling duped or lead on. Whether you meet other people or not and how much you tell each other is one of those things you should agree on I think. |
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Thank You all, you have confirmed in my mind what to do, too long in the past I have been guilty by omission, and I don’t want to be that guy anymore.
Kisses x (yeah even the fellas... straight my arse) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What if she's on fab as well? And feels the same about telling you she's on here?
She's not, I did check. That's the thing about being down here, it's quite easy to find dual dating/swingers.
Part of me wants to tell her so that it's out in the open come what may, neither of us are particularly looking for longevity I think, but words have been said and I do like her"
I'd go the honesty route, if things do develop its a nasty skeleton to have in your closet.
Tea |
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