FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Blocked for having a stoma ??
Blocked for having a stoma ??
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Cant believe some people just because i have a colostomy bag doesnt make me me any different from anyone else my body still works its so people can live a better life. But to ask whats that on your stomach and i reply its a colostomy bag then be blocked just goes to show |
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"Cant believe some people just because i have a colostomy bag doesnt make me me any different from anyone else my body still works its so people can live a better life. But to ask whats that on your stomach and i reply its a colostomy bag then be blocked just goes to show "
I would have thought that it was completely understandable for SOME people to be uncomfortable with it?
The best advice that anyone will give you on here is "don't worry about the people who won't meet you, concentrate on those who might"
Cal |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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There are options with it smaller bags like caps / a band to go around my waist but unfortunately i cant take it off unless thats what ur into which to be honest thats not my thing haha but if it was really an off put theres doggy and plenty of alternatives blindfolds etc |
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"Thats. Very true point lol just makes u laugh we all here to chat have bit fun some people just dont even get given the light of day. "
People without stomas get ignored.
I'm sure there are many people who will chat and meet with you.
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"There are options with it smaller bags like caps / a band to go around my waist but unfortunately i cant take it off unless thats what ur into which to be honest thats not my thing haha but if it was really an off put theres doggy and plenty of alternatives blindfolds etc"
I'm sure there are loads of ways around it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had one for 4 years & didn't tell anyone I met here unless they specifically asked & those who didn't notice, or ask were none the wiser until it was reversed. Not so easy for a man to hide but I've met men with a bag before that & since. Be out n proud with it, don't feel the need to explain yourself X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I had one for 4 years & didn't tell anyone I met here unless they specifically asked & those who didn't notice, or ask were none the wiser until it was reversed. Not so easy for a man to hide but I've met men with a bag before that & since. Be out n proud with it, don't feel the need to explain yourself X"
Thanks mate |
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"I had one for 4 years & didn't tell anyone I met here unless they specifically asked & those who didn't notice, or ask were none the wiser until it was reversed. Not so easy for a man to hide but I've met men with a bag before that & since. Be out n proud with it, don't feel the need to explain yourself X"
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There are options with it smaller bags like caps / a band to go around my waist but unfortunately i cant take it off unless thats what ur into which to be honest thats not my thing haha but if it was really an off put theres doggy and plenty of alternatives blindfolds etc
I'm sure there are loads of ways around it.
Sure is
"
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"And yeah i understand its not everyone’s cup of tea but still a simple sorry instead of an instant block isnt to much to ask is it lol"
Well if you were in conversation with this person, then I agree a simple no, to you,rather than a block would seem reasonable  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And yeah i understand its not everyone’s cup of tea but still a simple sorry instead of an instant block isnt to much to ask is it lol"
I agree with this. Just blocking seems really rude to me and a bit chicken.
Perhaps they don't know what to say and don't want to hurt your feelings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll meet you for an ice cream if you want ?
Feeling rejected 
I know ! An offer right in front of his face in public and BOOM ...... you were dumped  "
Is it because of my shoes? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'll meet you for an ice cream if you want ?
Feeling rejected
At least I didn't get a block  "
Haha cheers for the offer mate but im not looking to meet guys |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"And yeah i understand its not everyone’s cup of tea but still a simple sorry instead of an instant block isnt to much to ask is it lol
I agree with this. Just blocking seems really rude to me and a bit chicken.
Perhaps they don't know what to say and don't want to hurt your feelings. "
Maybe |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'll meet you for an ice cream if you want ?
Feeling rejected
I know ! An offer right in front of his face in public and BOOM ...... you were dumped
Is it because of my shoes? "
They are a bit squeaky clean arent they lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well I personally think you are a good looking guy and There’s always ways round things
Good luck with it all luv
Xxxxx"
Thank you just need a few local ladys to say that to me lol |
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By *ilth500Man
over a year ago
Merseyside |
"Cant believe some people just because i have a colostomy bag doesnt make me me any different from anyone else my body still works its so people can live a better life. But to ask whats that on your stomach and i reply its a colostomy bag then be blocked just goes to show "
thats wrong because..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And yeah i understand its not everyone’s cup of tea but still a simple sorry instead of an instant block isnt to much to ask is it lol"
Hello, you would think not but unfortunately manners is one of the many things lacking by many on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cant believe some people just because i have a colostomy bag doesnt make me me any different from anyone else my body still works its so people can live a better life. But to ask whats that on your stomach and i reply its a colostomy bag then be blocked just goes to show
I would have thought that it was completely understandable for SOME people to be uncomfortable with it?
The best advice that anyone will give you on here is "don't worry about the people who won't meet you, concentrate on those who might"
Cal"
Excellent comment. |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
I've had an ilieostomy/stoma/bag since I was 22.
It's so far put a grand total of nobody off. So much so that I used to mention it, but now I never do.
You can never really know why someone blocks you. I'd chalk it up to experience and move on. |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"I was about to say you can get caps for a small amount of time. "
They suck balls. Its highly likely that if you were wearing one and your stoma started to work during sex, it'd come off.
I have elasticated belt things that I wear, helps for sport too.
You can get them at comfizz. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's bloody fantastic that your showing it and it wouldn't personally put me off but I also think you need to understand that some people will be put off by it, especially if they don't understand.
Part of the reason of fabs for some people is that it's about fantasy.
However you say above that you can't take it off, I really think you should chat to your stoma nurse as you can do a irrigation and pop a cap on so you won't need to wear the bag for play, just an idea and something that may be more suitable for meeting on fab. |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"I think it's bloody fantastic that your showing it and it wouldn't personally put me off but I also think you need to understand that some people will be put off by it, especially if they don't understand.
Part of the reason of fabs for some people is that it's about fantasy.
However you say above that you can't take it off, I really think you should chat to your stoma nurse as you can do a irrigation and pop a cap on so you won't need to wear the bag for play, just an idea and something that may be more suitable for meeting on fab. "
Honestly, like I said, they are shite.
Just wear your bag, with a sport strap and if they don't like it, its their problem.
Honestly, if someone has my pants off and all they can think about is my bag, I'm failing.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it's bloody fantastic that your showing it and it wouldn't personally put me off but I also think you need to understand that some people will be put off by it, especially if they don't understand.
Part of the reason of fabs for some people is that it's about fantasy.
However you say above that you can't take it off, I really think you should chat to your stoma nurse as
you can do a irrigation and pop a cap on so you
won't need to wear the bag for play, just an idea and something that may be more suitable for meeting on fab. "
Thats actually on my list to do next |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I opened a thread the other week about people being uncomfortable around disability
You might not see the stoma as a disability, but others will
A lot of the feedback on the thread was that the unfamiliarity of it is what causes the discomfort
Even in every day life, people will flee rather than try to understand and overcome their discomfort
Put this into a largely sexual arena and what, for many by extension, is a fantasy sexual landscape, those with disabilities are overlooked in much the same way is the overweight male, the underheight male and the bi-sexual male are
For all those 'categories' however, there are people here who WILL meet them
I am not surprised you have been blocked, but I am surprised that you are
Surely you recognise it will be an inhibitor for some if not the majority?
I'm sure you don't want pity or 'there, theres', so all I will say is that there are people out there who will meet you, who do understand your circumstance
You will just have a bit more of an uphill battle than others in finding them
I'd look at getting to know people first (in person) at clubs and/or socials
It is very easy to dismiss a few words and a selection of 2D images
When people know you and see the great guy you are, they are more likely to be more understanding of your circumstance
They will see you, the person, first and not the stoma |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"I opened a thread the other week about people being uncomfortable around disability
You might not see the stoma as a disability, but others will
A lot of the feedback on the thread was that the unfamiliarity of it is what causes the discomfort
Even in every day life, people will flee rather than try to understand and overcome their discomfort
Put this into a largely sexual arena and what, for many by extension, is a fantasy sexual landscape, those with disabilities are overlooked in much the same way is the overweight male, the underheight male and the bi-sexual male are
For all those 'categories' however, there are people here who WILL meet them
I am not surprised you have been blocked, but I am surprised that you are
Surely you recognise it will be an inhibitor for some if not the majority?
I'm sure you don't want pity or 'there, theres', so all I will say is that there are people out there who will meet you, who do understand your circumstance
You will just have a bit more of an uphill battle than others in finding them
I'd look at getting to know people first (in person) at clubs and/or socials
It is very easy to dismiss a few words and a selection of 2D images
When people know you and see the great guy you are, they are more likely to be more understanding of your circumstance
They will see you, the person, first and not the stoma "
I'm mildly surprised, given that I have a stoma and its never happened to me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I opened a thread the other week about people being uncomfortable around disability
You might not see the stoma as a disability, but others will
A lot of the feedback on the thread was that the unfamiliarity of it is what causes the discomfort
Even in every day life, people will flee rather than try to understand and overcome their discomfort
Put this into a largely sexual arena and what, for many by extension, is a fantasy sexual landscape, those with disabilities are overlooked in much the same way is the overweight male, the underheight male and the bi-sexual male are
For all those 'categories' however, there are people here who WILL meet them
I am not surprised you have been blocked, but I am surprised that you are
Surely you recognise it will be an inhibitor for some if not the majority?
I'm sure you don't want pity or 'there, theres', so all I will say is that there are people out there who will meet you, who do understand your circumstance
You will just have a bit more of an uphill battle than others in finding them
I'd look at getting to know people first (in person) at clubs and/or socials
It is very easy to dismiss a few words and a selection of 2D images
When people know you and see the great guy you are, they are more likely to be more understanding of your circumstance
They will see you, the person, first and not the stoma
I'm mildly surprised, given that I have a stoma and its never happened to me."
Nicely said |
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