FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Women’s honest answer.
Women’s honest answer.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Good morning ladies, this is pickle (female half)
We have a couples profile and an open relationship. I never have any trouble getting meets.
However our male does, are women put off by us being a couple?
Would he be better with a singles profile too?
I can’t understand why he never gets any luck 
Cheers guys. |
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For me it's the whole guys on couples profiles, where the relationship has broken down or the woman never existed (not saying in your case), makes me a bit wary if you see what I mean.
Although with single male profiles, comes with its own problems.
Tricky one really. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For me it's the whole guys on couples profiles, where the relationship has broken down or the woman never existed (not saying in your case), makes me a bit wary if you see what I mean.
Although with single male profiles, comes with its own problems.
Tricky one really. "
Thanks for that, we hoped our Veris would be reassuring and are happy to prove we are a consenting couple. Happy for socials first etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Better off with a single profile. Let people know he's part of a couple, and that you can confirm it with any potential playmate.
It may take him time, but that's the single male ticket. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I see a lot of couples profiles that then link to single profiles for them to have solo play.
I guess it comes down to the aged old fab problem of single men looking for meets.
I would want a three way chat at the very start to make sure that his partner was happy with the arrangement |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Single profile is the way to go - just cross-reference to all other profiles and do the same in reverse.
It works for me anyway 
He will then be in the pool with all other single guys and it won't guarantee a thing of course but if he sets up a decent profile and pics and has the right attitude, approach and expectations he'll be on the right track  |
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It's not that at all, it's simply a numbers game. Whether people like to admit it or not, very few women are into NSA sex whereas many men on the other hand are.
A sexual woman is in great demand. A sexual man is in great supply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m afraid it’s a case of the few spoiling it for the many, we all know how it is with some “couples” contacting you and of course over time it turns out to be a single guy which I’m sure is not the case here. My experiences with those people would make me instinctively wary or someone in the position you describe for your partner and it’s horrid that it should be that way for him but all in all I would recommend a singles profile for him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good morning ladies, this is pickle (female half)
We have a couples profile and an open relationship. I never have any trouble getting meets.
However our male does, are women put off by us being a couple?
Would he be better with a singles profile too?
I can’t understand why he never gets any luck
Cheers guys."
I think the euphemism ' shrek ' doesn't help but don't forget if he's looking for meets as a single guy he's now finding out how difficult it is for some |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not that at all, it's simply a numbers game. Whether people like to admit it or not, very few women are into NSA sex whereas many men on the other hand are.
A sexual woman is in great demand. A sexual man is in great supply."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd meet an attached man where his partner was unaware, but I'd never meet one half of a swinging couple where their partner knows they are meeting. "
For me it be reversed, I am a straight female so no interest in the girl but I be much happier knowing their partner is cool with it and knows |
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"I'd meet an attached man where his partner was unaware, but I'd never meet one half of a swinging couple where their partner knows they are meeting. "
What's your thinking behind preferring somebody meeting without permission over somebody with? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd meet an attached man where his partner was unaware, but I'd never meet one half of a swinging couple where their partner knows they are meeting.
What's your thinking behind preferring somebody meeting without permission over somebody with? "
Found that interesting too. |
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Personally I’m wary of meeting couples separately - if I don’t know them very well, I don’t know how much drama that could cause - jealousy etc. And I don’t want to risk being in the middle if it all goes bang! |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Men always struggle, women can just click there fingers and men will fall at their feet. How many men can say they can do that? "
To be honest I wouldn't want to be able to click my fingers and have someone fall at my feet and I'll wager many women wouldn't want to either.
I'd much rather take my time and find the *right* people for me that are interested in me for me, as I am them for them, where there's a connection and chemistry and a meeting of minds - in fact I'd go as far as to say I'd prefer to have no meets than a series of meets where I had simply clicked my fingers |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally I’m wary of meeting couples separately - if I don’t know them very well, I don’t know how much drama that could cause - jealousy etc. And I don’t want to risk being in the middle if it all goes bang! "
That’s a fair point, but we are one of the unicorn couples who don’t suffer from jealousy. I meet on my own, he’s met others on his own. I just wanted to know peoples views on the couples vs singles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd meet an attached man where his partner was unaware, but I'd never meet one half of a swinging couple where their partner knows they are meeting.
What's your thinking behind preferring somebody meeting without permission over somebody with? "
A swinging couple would discuss the meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well thanks for your advice, look for another single profile linked to a couples profile soon!"
I think that's definitely the best way to do it. And mention the other profile on both profiles so people know it's all in the open.
Men often struggle but if there's a link to a couple profile with verifications I think that will help. Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good morning ladies, this is pickle (female half)
We have a couples profile and an open relationship. I never have any trouble getting meets.
However our male does, are women put off by us being a couple?
Would he be better with a singles profile too?
I can’t understand why he never gets any luck
Cheers guys."
No male on here has luck unless you turn up to every social and club night.... Yes I am salty before people start lipping to me as usual so save your breath . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Good morning ladies, this is pickle (female half)
We have a couples profile and an open relationship. I never have any trouble getting meets.
However our male does, are women put off by us being a couple?
Would he be better with a singles profile too?
I can’t understand why he never gets any luck
Cheers guys.
No male on here has luck unless you turn up to every social and club night.... Yes I am salty before people start lipping to me as usual so save your breath ."
Rubbish. Some do |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Good morning ladies, this is pickle (female half)
We have a couples profile and an open relationship. I never have any trouble getting meets.
However our male does, are women put off by us being a couple?
Would he be better with a singles profile too?
I can’t understand why he never gets any luck
Cheers guys.
No male on here has luck unless you turn up to every social and club night.... Yes I am salty before people start lipping to me as usual so save your breath ."
Actually in one respect you're right - it's not entirely down to luck at all, although luck can play a part (e.g. sending a message at just the right time for it to be noticed and stand out) but I disagree that it requires attendance at every social and club night too, although getting to socials and clubs doesn't hurt either.
Ultimately it does come down to attitude, approach and expectations though - get them right, and more importantly right for you the individual, not what you think others want to see, then there's every chance of having an enjoyable experience from the site, get them wrong though and frustration and disappointment awaits. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I am half of a couple and we each have our own profiles to me3t seperately.We cross reference each profile on the other and i have happily confirmed to couples and single women that i am happy for Jack to meet alone. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I am half of a couple and we each have our own profiles to me3t seperately.We cross reference each profile on the other and i have happily confirmed to couples and single women that i am happy for Jack to meet alone."
Thanks for that Morgan, he’s going to make his own profile tonight. See how he gets on! |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"I am half of a couple and we each have our own profiles to me3t seperately.We cross reference each profile on the other and i have happily confirmed to couples and single women that i am happy for Jack to meet alone.
Thanks for that Morgan, he’s going to make his own profile tonight. See how he gets on!"
Aww hope all goes well  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men always struggle, women can just click there fingers and men will fall at their feet. How many men can say they can do that?
To be honest I wouldn't want to be able to click my fingers and have someone fall at my feet and I'll wager many women wouldn't want to either.
I'd much rather take my time and find the *right* people for me that are interested in me for me, as I am them for them, where there's a connection and chemistry and a meeting of minds - in fact I'd go as far as to say I'd prefer to have no meets than a series of meets where I had simply clicked my fingers "
Bingo!
Taking time in the present saves a lot of time in the future. It's all about getting to know the person as an individual without outside interference/influence. Can start off with simple banter/conversations... just go with the flow to build a rapport and that could spark connection/chemistry.
For the record:
Men don't always struggle and good guys don't always finish last.
For the OP:
I agree with setting up a single profile and linking it to couples one as other posters have said. See if that will be fruitful for you |
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"Good morning ladies, this is pickle (female half)
We have a couples profile and an open relationship. I never have any trouble getting meets.
However our male does, are women put off by us being a couple?
Would he be better with a singles profile too?
I can’t understand why he never gets any luck
Cheers guys.
No male on here has luck unless you turn up to every social and club night.... Yes I am salty before people start lipping to me as usual so save your breath .
Rubbish. Some do "
Absolutely! Men can and do have "luck". I guarantee it. But the man has to understand how it works. |
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"Men always struggle, women can just click there fingers and men will fall at their feet. How many men can say they can do that?
To be honest I wouldn't want to be able to click my fingers and have someone fall at my feet and I'll wager many women wouldn't want to either.
I'd much rather take my time and find the *right* people for me that are interested in me for me, as I am them for them, where there's a connection and chemistry and a meeting of minds - in fact I'd go as far as to say I'd prefer to have no meets than a series of meets where I had simply clicked my fingers
Bingo!
Taking time in the present saves a lot of time in the future. It's all about getting to know the person as an individual without outside interference/influence. Can start off with simple banter/conversations... just go with the flow to build a rapport and that could spark connection/chemistry.
For the record:
Men don't always struggle and good guys don't always finish last.
For the OP:
I agree with setting up a single profile and linking it to couples one as other posters have said. See if that will be fruitful for you "
Well said Adam and Gemini. I am Morgans other half who commented further up.
I dont actively look for meets that often. But if I see a profile I like, I will send a polite message introducing myself, show that I have read their profile, attach a few pics etc. If they reply then great and the conversation can develop. If they dont, no problem. I'm no Brad Pitt by any stretch of the imagination but have had some great meets on here. Its also how me and Morgan got together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good morning ladies, this is pickle (female half)
We have a couples profile and an open relationship. I never have any trouble getting meets.
However our male does, are women put off by us being a couple?
Would he be better with a singles profile too?
I can’t understand why he never gets any luck
Cheers guys.
No male on here has luck unless you turn up to every social and club night.... Yes I am salty before people start lipping to me as usual so save your breath .
Rubbish. Some do
Absolutely! Men can and do have "luck". I guarantee it. But the man has to understand how it works."
There are men on here who really don’t give a toss and will meet anyone and there are some men who do have respect for themselves and others and are just as fussy as some of the women on here. Annoys me when they all get labelled the same. You have a choice of the kind of people you want to attract by your profile text, your pics and how you conduct yourself on public forums etc. I really believe that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Good morning ladies, this is pickle (female half)
We have a couples profile and an open relationship. I never have any trouble getting meets.
However our male does, are women put off by us being a couple?
Would he be better with a singles profile too?
I can’t understand why he never gets any luck
Cheers guys.
No male on here has luck unless you turn up to every social and club night.... Yes I am salty before people start lipping to me as usual so save your breath .
Rubbish. Some do "
Sorry should have put 10/10 lads aswell |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Good morning ladies, this is pickle (female half)
We have a couples profile and an open relationship. I never have any trouble getting meets.
However our male does, are women put off by us being a couple?
Would he be better with a singles profile too?
I can’t understand why he never gets any luck
Cheers guys.
No male on here has luck unless you turn up to every social and club night.... Yes I am salty before people start lipping to me as usual so save your breath .
Rubbish. Some do
Sorry should have put 10/10 lads aswell "
Don’t understand that comment. Sorry |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And the rest is rubbish, I pull 9 times out of ten on a night out so I'm obviously fit - if my only avenue of getting a shag was on here it'd be falling off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd be happier conversing with him on a single profile if we intended to meet just us. I'd want the chat to be just us.
While I absolutely respect his relationship it would be weird for me mailing a couple's profile and not know who is reading it. I do know he could show you his single one but it feels different somehow. |
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"I'd meet an attached man where his partner was unaware, but I'd never meet one half of a swinging couple where their partner knows they are meeting.
What's your thinking behind preferring somebody meeting without permission over somebody with?
A swinging couple would discuss the meet. "
In the sense that you wouldn’t wish the meet discussed with someone not present? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And the rest is rubbish, I pull 9 times out of ten on a night out so I'm obviously fit - if my only avenue of getting a shag was on here it'd be falling off "
Obviously |
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"And the rest is rubbish, I pull 9 times out of ten on a night out so I'm obviously fit - if my only avenue of getting a shag was on here it'd be falling off "
Lol, I've just read your profile! Are you joking or serious? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Good morning ladies, this is pickle (female half)
We have a couples profile and an open relationship. I never have any trouble getting meets.
However our male does, are women put off by us being a couple?
Would he be better with a singles profile too?
I can’t understand why he never gets any luck
Cheers guys.
No male on here has luck unless you turn up to every social and club night.... Yes I am salty before people start lipping to me as usual so save your breath ."
Some do ok it's quite often about the initial approaches, who you approach and what you expect and want from the site, expect nothing and you may be pleasantly surprised when something unexpected comes your way |
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"Good morning ladies, this is pickle (female half)
We have a couples profile and an open relationship. I never have any trouble getting meets.
However our male does, are women put off by us being a couple?
Would he be better with a singles profile too?
I can’t understand why he never gets any luck
Cheers guys."
Generally, a large amount of blokes don't care if a woman is attached where as the lions share of women do care if a bloke is attached. There is also the dislike of blokes using couples profiles to get access to ladies who are "not looking for single guys".
If it was me, I would have a single profile and reference both the couples profile and your single ladies profile too.
Cal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it's fanny that normally sells
I never understand why a couple who may play separate think that the male half will do any better than a single guy will."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd meet an attached man where his partner was unaware, but I'd never meet one half of a swinging couple where their partner knows they are meeting.
What's your thinking behind preferring somebody meeting without permission over somebody with?
A swinging couple would discuss the meet.
In the sense that you wouldn’t wish the meet discussed with someone not present?"
Yes.
I realise it's weird as I have met couples together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd be happier conversing with him on a single profile if we intended to meet just us. I'd want the chat to be just us.
While I absolutely respect his relationship it would be weird for me mailing a couple's profile and not know who is reading it. I do know he could show you his single one but it feels different somehow. "
I can understand this, I also have a different view that I'm trying to work out in my own head at the moment.
We're a new couple, still finding what works for us in certain areas.
Separate meets is the one that I'm really struggling with. I know I want B to have the sense of freedom to meet alone and not worry I'm freaking out.
My main issue isn't the him fucking another woman, my main issue is the other woman herself. I've seen first hand how sneaky some can be, I've seen relationships destroyed by those who get kicks out of the "power" they get by being with another woman's partner, feeling like they must be sooooooo worthy and wonderful coz he's leaving his partner behind for a meet with them. There are some truly fucked up people.
I don't know at the moment if I need 100% transparency or if I need to know absolutely nothing about it and pretend it's not happening to be able to process it and deal with it.
We have rules and boundaries that are deal breakers and relationship enders if they are broken.
I personally think all involved have a responsibility to stick within the rules, to be honest. How many times a day do we read on here about people shirking responsibility when it comes to damage they have been part of in peoples relationships? The whole "that's their relationship, that's their problem" line. People literally going in for the kill to get what they want and fuck the consequences. When I met part of a couple alone as a single, he wanted to break one of the rules, yes, it would have been something I'd have enjoyed, however I was absolutely not prepared to jeopardise someone else's relationship for something enjoyable to me for a brief moment. Many many wouldn't have done what I did and gone ahead with it anyway. People can get caught up in the moment, or not fully respect boundaries due to not understanding them or thinking certain rules may be silly.
I think for me I'd probably be better or less concerned if the woman he met alone was one we had already met as a couple and I felt I could trust her, and that she understood me, rather than someone who doesn't know me, doesn't respect me etc.
P |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"And the rest is rubbish, I pull 9 times out of ten on a night out so I'm obviously fit - if my only avenue of getting a shag was on here it'd be falling off "
So what are you hoping for on here, if you can 'pull' in the outside world? |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I'd meet an attached man where his partner was unaware, but I'd never meet one half of a swinging couple where their partner knows they are meeting.
What's your thinking behind preferring somebody meeting without permission over somebody with?
A swinging couple would discuss the meet.
In the sense that you wouldn’t wish the meet discussed with someone not present?
Yes.
I realise it's weird as I have met couples together. "
I don't find that weird. I understand where you're coming from. I want shared moments and interactions to be between those who are present at the moment unless it's a particular dynamic I've agreed to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And the rest is rubbish, I pull 9 times out of ten on a night out so I'm obviously fit - if my only avenue of getting a shag was on here it'd be falling off
So what are you hoping for on here, if you can 'pull' in the outside world? "
A bang mid week, once every 3 weeks takes its toll on the old todger |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"And the rest is rubbish, I pull 9 times out of ten on a night out so I'm obviously fit - if my only avenue of getting a shag was on here it'd be falling off
So what are you hoping for on here, if you can 'pull' in the outside world?
A bang mid week, once every 3 weeks takes its toll on the old todger "
Ok |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And the rest is rubbish, I pull 9 times out of ten on a night out so I'm obviously fit - if my only avenue of getting a shag was on here it'd be falling off
So what are you hoping for on here, if you can 'pull' in the outside world? "
sex on the beach maybe |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"And the rest is rubbish, I pull 9 times out of ten on a night out so I'm obviously fit - if my only avenue of getting a shag was on here it'd be falling off
So what are you hoping for on here, if you can 'pull' in the outside world? sex on the beach maybe "
Haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And the rest is rubbish, I pull 9 times out of ten on a night out so I'm obviously fit - if my only avenue of getting a shag was on here it'd be falling off
So what are you hoping for on here, if you can 'pull' in the outside world? sex on the beach maybe
Haha "
we both know it's a great place to enjoy it lol obviously in the right part of the dunes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd meet an attached man where his partner was unaware, but I'd never meet one half of a swinging couple where their partner knows they are meeting. "
Bizarrely this for me aswell I think. I would assume I was intruding on something if I was to meet one half alone, 'permissions' given or not. I'd much rather both were there. |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"And the rest is rubbish, I pull 9 times out of ten on a night out so I'm obviously fit - if my only avenue of getting a shag was on here it'd be falling off
So what are you hoping for on here, if you can 'pull' in the outside world? sex on the beach maybe
Haha we both know it's a great place to enjoy it lol obviously in the right part of the dunes "
Obviously and with a lookout |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd meet an attached man where his partner was unaware, but I'd never meet one half of a swinging couple where their partner knows they are meeting.
Bizarrely this for me aswell I think. I would assume I was intruding on something if I was to meet one half alone, 'permissions' given or not. I'd much rather both were there. "
The intruding bit makes sense to me, that's kinda how I feel when I think about it. The only times I've spent time with one half of a couple when the other hadn't been there was if I'd met them as a couple previously and felt we had a level of respect, trust and understanding, or if we've hung out together for a coffee etc as mates. I knew their rules, they knew mine. Oddly enough I've only felt comfortable meeting them separately when it was the one that wouldn't be there who asked me if I'd meet the other alone.
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some person can get down when speak to the man-half of a couple.
But is not necessarily the fact he want to play alone, is just that is a man.
As a single profile is almoust impossible even to have an answer I can't imagine a meet, we are too many I think, and people have pre-concept about men alone here both single or with wife permission.
Last time I was speaking with a couple, we exchange kik she ask to see me like "live proof" etc...and after all, they didn't want even to give me a web verification because she was "not sure I'm real" ... without verif. You cant meet.
I get tired to have to justify myself as if staying here is a mortal sin for a man, so I usually spend time enjoy the forum.
My advice is keep it as a couple and participate to message at least, so people will see that he have wife consent for real |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd be happier conversing with him on a single profile if we intended to meet just us. I'd want the chat to be just us.
While I absolutely respect his relationship it would be weird for me mailing a couple's profile and not know who is reading it. I do know he could show you his single one but it feels different somehow.
I can understand this, I also have a different view that I'm trying to work out in my own head at the moment.
We're a new couple, still finding what works for us in certain areas.
Separate meets is the one that I'm really struggling with. I know I want B to have the sense of freedom to meet alone and not worry I'm freaking out.
My main issue isn't the him fucking another woman, my main issue is the other woman herself. I've seen first hand how sneaky some can be, I've seen relationships destroyed by those who get kicks out of the "power" they get by being with another woman's partner, feeling like they must be sooooooo worthy and wonderful coz he's leaving his partner behind for a meet with them. There are some truly fucked up people.
I don't know at the moment if I need 100% transparency or if I need to know absolutely nothing about it and pretend it's not happening to be able to process it and deal with it.
We have rules and boundaries that are deal breakers and relationship enders if they are broken.
I personally think all involved have a responsibility to stick within the rules, to be honest. How many times a day do we read on here about people shirking responsibility when it comes to damage they have been part of in peoples relationships? The whole "that's their relationship, that's their problem" line. People literally going in for the kill to get what they want and fuck the consequences. When I met part of a couple alone as a single, he wanted to break one of the rules, yes, it would have been something I'd have enjoyed, however I was absolutely not prepared to jeopardise someone else's relationship for something enjoyable to me for a brief moment. Many many wouldn't have done what I did and gone ahead with it anyway. People can get caught up in the moment, or not fully respect boundaries due to not understanding them or thinking certain rules may be silly.
I think for me I'd probably be better or less concerned if the woman he met alone was one we had already met as a couple and I felt I could trust her, and that she understood me, rather than someone who doesn't know me, doesn't respect me etc.
P"
We met alone and he wanted to tell me all about it but I preferred not to know. It didn't bother me that he was meeting alone. I was ok being in the same room and not joining in.
I didn't try and change my mind about how I felt, I just figured out what I was happy with.
It makes sense to me about meeting someone you've met before. Perhaps meet a couple, but swap separately? All 4 are busy at the same time but 'meeting alone '. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some person can get down when speak to the man-half of a couple.
But is not necessarily the fact he want to play alone, is just that is a man.
As a single profile is almoust impossible even to have an answer I can't imagine a meet, we are too many I think, and people have pre-concept about men alone here both single or with wife permission.
Last time I was speaking with a couple, we exchange kik she ask to see me like "live proof" etc...and after all, they didn't want even to give me a web verification because she was "not sure I'm real" ... without verif. You cant meet.
I get tired to have to justify myself as if staying here is a mortal sin for a man, so I usually spend time enjoy the forum.
My advice is keep it as a couple and participate to message at least, so people will see that he have wife consent for real"
I agree about seeing the wife's consent is real. Good point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd meet an attached man where his partner was unaware, but I'd never meet one half of a swinging couple where their partner knows they are meeting.
Bizarrely this for me aswell I think. I would assume I was intruding on something if I was to meet one half alone, 'permissions' given or not. I'd much rather both were there.
The intruding bit makes sense to me, that's kinda how I feel when I think about it. The only times I've spent time with one half of a couple when the other hadn't been there was if I'd met them as a couple previously and felt we had a level of respect, trust and understanding, or if we've hung out together for a coffee etc as mates. I knew their rules, they knew mine. Oddly enough I've only felt comfortable meeting them separately when it was the one that wouldn't be there who asked me if I'd meet the other alone.
P"
Its a weird dynamic isnt it to get inbetween. I think meeting both first is a good idea, but then seeing them all happy together would probably make me even less inclined to meet seperately, even if thats what they really wanted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd be happier conversing with him on a single profile if we intended to meet just us. I'd want the chat to be just us.
While I absolutely respect his relationship it would be weird for me mailing a couple's profile and not know who is reading it. I do know he could show you his single one but it feels different somehow.
I can understand this, I also have a different view that I'm trying to work out in my own head at the moment.
We're a new couple, still finding what works for us in certain areas.
Separate meets is the one that I'm really struggling with. I know I want B to have the sense of freedom to meet alone and not worry I'm freaking out.
My main issue isn't the him fucking another woman, my main issue is the other woman herself. I've seen first hand how sneaky some can be, I've seen relationships destroyed by those who get kicks out of the "power" they get by being with another woman's partner, feeling like they must be sooooooo worthy and wonderful coz he's leaving his partner behind for a meet with them. There are some truly fucked up people.
I don't know at the moment if I need 100% transparency or if I need to know absolutely nothing about it and pretend it's not happening to be able to process it and deal with it.
We have rules and boundaries that are deal breakers and relationship enders if they are broken.
I personally think all involved have a responsibility to stick within the rules, to be honest. How many times a day do we read on here about people shirking responsibility when it comes to damage they have been part of in peoples relationships? The whole "that's their relationship, that's their problem" line. People literally going in for the kill to get what they want and fuck the consequences. When I met part of a couple alone as a single, he wanted to break one of the rules, yes, it would have been something I'd have enjoyed, however I was absolutely not prepared to jeopardise someone else's relationship for something enjoyable to me for a brief moment. Many many wouldn't have done what I did and gone ahead with it anyway. People can get caught up in the moment, or not fully respect boundaries due to not understanding them or thinking certain rules may be silly.
I think for me I'd probably be better or less concerned if the woman he met alone was one we had already met as a couple and I felt I could trust her, and that she understood me, rather than someone who doesn't know me, doesn't respect me etc.
P
We met alone and he wanted to tell me all about it but I preferred not to know. It didn't bother me that he was meeting alone. I was ok being in the same room and not joining in.
I didn't try and change my mind about how I felt, I just figured out what I was happy with.
It makes sense to me about meeting someone you've met before. Perhaps meet a couple, but swap separately? All 4 are busy at the same time but 'meeting alone '. "
That a good idea as it happens, would take a lot of organising as we have limited time together as it is
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men always struggle, women can just click there fingers and men will fall at their feet. How many men can say they can do that?
To be honest I wouldn't want to be able to click my fingers and have someone fall at my feet and I'll wager many women wouldn't want to either.
I'd much rather take my time and find the *right* people for me that are interested in me for me, as I am them for them, where there's a connection and chemistry and a meeting of minds - in fact I'd go as far as to say I'd prefer to have no meets than a series of meets where I had simply clicked my fingers
Bingo!
Taking time in the present saves a lot of time in the future. It's all about getting to know the person as an individual without outside interference/influence. Can start off with simple banter/conversations... just go with the flow to build a rapport and that could spark connection/chemistry.
For the record:
Men don't always struggle and good guys don't always finish last.
For the OP:
I agree with setting up a single profile and linking it to couples one as other posters have said. See if that will be fruitful for you
Well said Adam and Gemini. I am Morgans other half who commented further up.
I dont actively look for meets that often. But if I see a profile I like, I will send a polite message introducing myself, show that I have read their profile, attach a few pics etc. If they reply then great and the conversation can develop. If they dont, no problem. I'm no Brad Pitt by any stretch of the imagination but have had some great meets on here. Its also how me and Morgan got together. "
Thank you for introducing yourself in here Jack. I have just checked all 3 profiles and that is amazing. You and Morgan met and became stronger together. Wowzer! Love it!
#PrimeExample
#Happiness
#Respect
Just goes to show the true potential of Fab... this platform/site is big enough to create many more happy stories/memories. |
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If anyone in a couple is looking to meet solo they should have a singles profile for that purpose.
We’ve had so many messages from the Male half of a couple looking to meet alone. Sometimes they genuinely are part of a couple and looking with partners consent but this is rare.
Op if this is something that your looking for then the best advice is to set up a singles profile and reference to each profile in the text |
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"Men always struggle, women can just click there fingers and men will fall at their feet. How many men can say they can do that?
To be honest I wouldn't want to be able to click my fingers and have someone fall at my feet and I'll wager many women wouldn't want to either.
I'd much rather take my time and find the *right* people for me that are interested in me for me, as I am them for them, where there's a connection and chemistry and a meeting of minds - in fact I'd go as far as to say I'd prefer to have no meets than a series of meets where I had simply clicked my fingers
Bingo!
Taking time in the present saves a lot of time in the future. It's all about getting to know the person as an individual without outside interference/influence. Can start off with simple banter/conversations... just go with the flow to build a rapport and that could spark connection/chemistry.
For the record:
Men don't always struggle and good guys don't always finish last.
For the OP:
I agree with setting up a single profile and linking it to couples one as other posters have said. See if that will be fruitful for you
Well said Adam and Gemini. I am Morgans other half who commented further up.
I dont actively look for meets that often. But if I see a profile I like, I will send a polite message introducing myself, show that I have read their profile, attach a few pics etc. If they reply then great and the conversation can develop. If they dont, no problem. I'm no Brad Pitt by any stretch of the imagination but have had some great meets on here. Its also how me and Morgan got together.
Thank you for introducing yourself in here Jack. I have just checked all 3 profiles and that is amazing. You and Morgan met and became stronger together. Wowzer! Love it!
#PrimeExample
#Happiness
#Respect
Just goes to show the true potential of Fab... this platform/site is big enough to create many more happy stories/memories."
Thank you very much. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn’t look to meet the male half of a couple on here, potential for fallout drama.
I do think though if a couple is meeting separately then they should have a separate profile that reflects that status. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to enjoy meeting couples until the male of my favourite couple started asking me to meet separately, without permission or her knowledge. I was asked to "keep it between us". He put a lot of pressure on me so I had to part company as no way would I ever do that, no matter how bloody gorgeous he was. I often wonder how he explained things to her?
So now, I won't meet couples or the male of the couple, even if he had a single profile and I could cross reference he had consent. I just don't trust now. Obviously I'm missing out because I'm bi and don't get to play with fems now but that experience blew it for me. |
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