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What is love?
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"just a four letter word .means nothin in the swingers world .i have played with many on here love no of them ." I wasn't asking in reference to swinging or meeting, I mean what is love to you personally, how do you know when you're in love? | |||
"Love is... like looking at the world through rose tinted glassed" Interesting and very poetic | |||
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"They are like your lighthouse in the storm of life. Just seeing them makes you feel warm, cared for and safe. You get butterflies when you think of them, when you see them, a warm fuzzy cosy feeling. " I like that, knowing that they care for you and guard your heart is a lovely feeling isn't it | |||
"The brightest spark lightning in a bottle happiest iv ever been but love brings fear " Which leads to hate, do not give in to fear | |||
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"They are like your lighthouse in the storm of life. Just seeing them makes you feel warm, cared for and safe. You get butterflies when you think of them, when you see them, a warm fuzzy cosy feeling. This for us! And we do love a lighthouse spotting trip " | |||
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"just a four letter word .means nothin in the swingers world .i have played with many on here love no of them . I wasn't asking in reference to swinging or meeting, I mean what is love to you personally, how do you know when you're in love? " sorry op.love is sharing a bag of chips listening to your mans lies but believing them .even though every one says not too. | |||
"They are like your lighthouse in the storm of life. Just seeing them makes you feel warm, cared for and safe. You get butterflies when you think of them, when you see them, a warm fuzzy cosy feeling. Ooooh, I so like that interpretation "  | |||
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"just a four letter word .means nothin in the swingers world .i have played with many on here love no of them . I wasn't asking in reference to swinging or meeting, I mean what is love to you personally, how do you know when you're in love? sorry op.love is sharing a bag of chips listening to your mans lies but believing them .even though every one says not too." Typical woman thinking all men lie giving us all a bad name lol | |||
"It’s her smile, eyes and laugh. Well it was in my case. I always wanted those things as they made my heart go faster, so I spent my time making her happy. But love is also letting go knowing those three things maybe easily achieved with someone else. I’m happy she’s happy now, even though I’d drop everything for another day with her. " thats nicely put steph very sincere x | |||
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"The brightest spark lightning in a bottle happiest iv ever been but love brings fear Which leads to hate, do not give in to fear" leads to pain i could never hate | |||
"What West wales wife said above. There’s lots of different forms of love. We have one word that gets stretched in many directions to cover them all and the risk is we devalue the word. "  | |||
"Am I the only one that saw the thread title and immediately said 'Baby dont hurt me?' "I was wondering how long before Haddaway came up... Thanks for not disappointing me | |||
"Baby dont hurt me.. Lol.. Well, ok go on then.. That is a great track.. But what is love? Alas it is a word that seems to have lost its definition, its depth, unfortunately it seems to be flung around these days with lil meaning. Love itself, that feeling, not the word is all powerful, it is a universe in which all becomes one and the one, the coming together of two souls, two flames that become one in mind, body, heart and soul "That sounds like you should be writing wedding vows! Beautifully put. | |||
"It’s her smile, eyes and laugh. Well it was in my case. I always wanted those things as they made my heart go faster, so I spent my time making her happy. But love is also letting go knowing those three things maybe easily achieved with someone else. I’m happy she’s happy now, even though I’d drop everything for another day with her. " That sounds very bittersweet, the end of love is like falling off a bridge that you thought was ongoing. | |||
"Am I the only one that saw the thread title and immediately said 'Baby dont hurt me?' "Nope.....me too, still bouncing round my head now! Jo x | |||
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"That 'in love' feeling when you first start dating are actually just chemical reactions in the body which stem from our genetic need to make babies! And love for your children is chemical again! Ensures we bring them up and why some people can't connect with their children All the rest? No idea! "Well all of our experiences and sensory reactions are just electrical and chemical, that's how we experience the world, through our delightful little meat suits! I know what you mean though. | |||
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"Am I the only one that saw the thread title and immediately said 'Baby dont hurt me?'
Nope.....me too, still bouncing round my head now!
Jo x"Your earworm for the day! You're welcome! | |||
"They are like your lighthouse in the storm of life. Just seeing them makes you feel warm, cared for and safe. You get butterflies when you think of them, when you see them, a warm fuzzy cosy feeling. " Sounds good x | |||
"Am I the only one that saw the thread title and immediately said 'Baby dont hurt me?'
Nope.....me too, still bouncing round my head now!
Jo x
Your earworm for the day!
You're welcome! "I thought Tina Turner  | |||
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"They are like your lighthouse in the storm of life. Just seeing them makes you feel warm, cared for and safe. You get butterflies when you think of them, when you see them, a warm fuzzy cosy feeling. " Couldn't have put it better!
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"I think it's unique to the individual partnership and could be a different feeling depending on who you're with, my dear old mother used to say "you'll know it when you know it", she was right I think. Look at all the different responses above, ppl feel differently, some won't ever open up to it, some seek it, some fear it, some don't have the capacity to recognise it, some don't respect it, some have never had it but just have an idea from what they've seen or heard. Some ppl are here because they're running from love, others running towards any love that's shown them. I came late to the party but it changed my whole perspective on life. For me it's an intensity of just about every emotion you could have, all directed towards your special person, permanently and constantly, first and last thought, even when you're apart. Xteve "I love this! (see what I did there?) I agree with you about this. I also think that you love different people in different ways and for different things but yes; nail, head. | |||
"Am I the only one that saw the thread title and immediately said 'Baby dont hurt me?'
Nope.....me too, still bouncing round my head now!
Jo x
Your earworm for the day!
You're welcome!
I thought Tina Turner "What's she got to do with it?... | |||
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"Love to me is about giving without expecting anything in return. " ‘I don't think it is about putting someone else first and prioritising their needs above your own. It's about all kinds of things, like trust, attraction, feeling like your best self when they're around, compassion, shared values, mutual respect etc. But I'm not going to always put someone else first and I don't expect someone to always put me first. It should be give and take, not just give. For me it's important that the person I love also loves and respects themselves, so I can trust them to say I'm being a knob if I'm being a knob, or to tell me if my actions and decisions are to their detriment in any way. Healthy love is working together so that both can have their needs met without losing any sense of self.’ | |||
"Love to me is about giving without expecting anything in return. ‘I don't think it is about putting someone else first and prioritising their needs above your own. It's about all kinds of things, like trust, attraction, feeling like your best self when they're around, compassion, shared values, mutual respect etc. But I'm not going to always put someone else first and I don't expect someone to always put me first. It should be give and take, not just give. For me it's important that the person I love also loves and respects themselves, so I can trust them to say I'm being a knob if I'm being a knob, or to tell me if my actions and decisions are to their detriment in any way. Healthy love is working together so that both can have their needs met without losing any sense of self.’" Agree wholeheartedly, also have reservations about "unconditional" love in the romantic context, sounds like a person with no boundaries. | |||
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"Love to me is about giving without expecting anything in return. ‘I don't think it is about putting someone else first and prioritising their needs above your own. It's about all kinds of things, like trust, attraction, feeling like your best self when they're around, compassion, shared values, mutual respect etc. But I'm not going to always put someone else first and I don't expect someone to always put me first. It should be give and take, not just give. For me it's important that the person I love also loves and respects themselves, so I can trust them to say I'm being a knob if I'm being a knob, or to tell me if my actions and decisions are to their detriment in any way. Healthy love is working together so that both can have their needs met without losing any sense of self.’" Yes, I think that a very good description of the reality of love and a healthy love. I sometimes think that problems occur when there's a friction between the romantic ideal (movie love) and your definition here. Also it's a balancing act, you both have to give and take, if one is doing more of either then it can be damaging. | |||
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"The Greek Philosophers were better at describing these things than I am. However with their help I’ll have a go at my latest take on it. The Greek philosophers used 4 words to describe love: Agape, Eros, Philia and Storge. Agape - this is unconditional love for all beings, that motivates to do good and wish good for all - our urge to do charitable and selfless acts of kindness for anyone. Our compassion for all beings. Philia is our love for friends where we are willing to be there for them no matter what. It transcends time and is why we can feel with friends like we have never been apart, even if we haven’t seen each other for years. Storge is the love for our family and particularly children; that feeling that we would lay down our life for them to prevent them from harm that motivates us to help them to learn, grow and become autonomous And finally Eros most akin to the notion of romantic love that begins as desire, lust and infatuation for another. In time and with consciousness it can transcend and transform into an appreciation of all that is beautiful, good and true about that person. With further time and consciousness transforms into seeking and appreciating beauty itself, the good in all its forms and ultimate truth. That is why contemplative practices like Tantra, mutual gazing and meditation are so powerful in transforming base level emotions of lust, desire and passion into higher order energies. As use those practices we learn to appreciate the power of Eros. Whilst in its base untransformed form I think it remains closely related to the baser emotions of lust, jealousy and envy which is probably why they were coined as the 3 of the seven deadly sins. In its raw form fear, as mentioned earlier in a couple of posts, can wreak havoc. This maybe all bollocks but I kind of like it. Courtesy of Doc’s Braifarts" I like your farts... Brainfarts I mean... Nicely put, it's never too early for a bit of classic philosophy, although it's all Greek to me | |||
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"The Greek Philosophers were better at describing these things than I am. However with their help I’ll have a go at my latest take on it. The Greek philosophers used 4 words to describe love: Agape, Eros, Philia and Storge. Agape - this is unconditional love for all beings, that motivates to do good and wish good for all - our urge to do charitable and selfless acts of kindness for anyone. Our compassion for all beings. Philia is our love for friends where we are willing to be there for them no matter what. It transcends time and is why we can feel with friends like we have never been apart, even if we haven’t seen each other for years. Storge is the love for our family and particularly children; that feeling that we would lay down our life for them to prevent them from harm that motivates us to help them to learn, grow and become autonomous And finally Eros most akin to the notion of romantic love that begins as desire, lust and infatuation for another. In time and with consciousness it can transcend and transform into an appreciation of all that is beautiful, good and true about that person. With further time and consciousness transforms into seeking and appreciating beauty itself, the good in all its forms and ultimate truth. That is why contemplative practices like Tantra, mutual gazing and meditation are so powerful in transforming base level emotions of lust, desire and passion into higher order energies. As use those practices we learn to appreciate the power of Eros. Whilst in its base untransformed form I think it remains closely related to the baser emotions of lust, jealousy and envy which is probably why they were coined as the 3 of the seven deadly sins. In its raw form fear, as mentioned earlier in a couple of posts, can wreak havoc. This maybe all bollocks but I kind of like it. Courtesy of Doc’s Braifarts I like your farts... Brainfarts I mean... Nicely put, it's never too early for a bit of classic philosophy, although it's all Greek to me" | |||
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"Wow my comment has spurned a reaction. I was basically summarising the thoughts of Dessler. I do think people out too much emphasis on conditions for love. I should add I never said my thoughts on love were about romantic love. My bad for no being me clear. I'll leave you with a quote “A love that is dependent on something – when the thing ceases, the love also ceases. But a love that is not dependent on anything never ceases (Ethics of the Fathers, 5:16)" Please excuse my typos, writing without specs on and not proof reading! Wrong words and bad grammar abound! | |||
"Wow my comment has spurned a reaction. I was basically summarising the thoughts of Dessler. I do think people out too much emphasis on conditions for love. I should add I never said my thoughts on love were about romantic love. My bad for no being me clear. I'll leave you with a quote “A love that is dependent on something – when the thing ceases, the love also ceases. But a love that is not dependent on anything never ceases (Ethics of the Fathers, 5:16)" My apologies for missing your first comment (I'm meant to be working...!) I think that what you're saying there is the difference between conditional love and unconditional love. I was originally discussing the concept of romantic love but I see what you mean. | |||
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"You just know, it can't really be defined. I've had many girlfriends and friends with benefits over the years but only truly felt love twice, once when I was 19 and the other time was much more intense when I was 26. I've always been a bit of a commitment phobe but with the girl in my mid 20's I'd have happily married her. Shame circumstances meant it didn't work out, I've never felt that way about anyone since." I agree... I think true all encompassing love comes totally unexpected... I've only experienced it twice... And once unrequited love which isn't the same. It makes me sad to think it might never happen again, but you can't force these things. | |||
"You just know, it can't really be defined. I've had many girlfriends and friends with benefits over the years but only truly felt love twice, once when I was 19 and the other time was much more intense when I was 26. I've always been a bit of a commitment phobe but with the girl in my mid 20's I'd have happily married her. Shame circumstances meant it didn't work out, I've never felt that way about anyone since." How did you know that it was love? What was the realisation for you? | |||
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"Love is when u sacrifice everything without expectation of return, to give them something that they desperately want, even though it isn’t what u want but it will help them reach a long sought goal of their own. And u can be happy for them even though they chose not to be with u. " She's right...this is love. Love makes you self less. | |||
"You just know, it can't really be defined. I've had many girlfriends and friends with benefits over the years but only truly felt love twice, once when I was 19 and the other time was much more intense when I was 26. I've always been a bit of a commitment phobe but with the girl in my mid 20's I'd have happily married her. Shame circumstances meant it didn't work out, I've never felt that way about anyone since. How did you know that it was love? What was the realisation for you? " I just knew and can't really describe it, I could feel it happening over the first month we were together. There was an intense lust but there were far deeper feelings behind that as well. I knew even more when she ended it while she was working abroad later that year  | |||
"Can romantic love be unconditional? I tenner reading an article about love which focuses on it being purely chemical and likened it to OCD in how it affects people. Perhaps romantic love is merely lust" In its base form lust is a big component of romantic love but over time it can be transformed into something deeper and more spiritual | |||
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"You just know, it can't really be defined. I've had many girlfriends and friends with benefits over the years but only truly felt love twice, once when I was 19 and the other time was much more intense when I was 26. I've always been a bit of a commitment phobe but with the girl in my mid 20's I'd have happily married her. Shame circumstances meant it didn't work out, I've never felt that way about anyone since. How did you know that it was love? What was the realisation for you? I just knew and can't really describe it, I could feel it happening over the first month we were together. There was an intense lust but there were far deeper feelings behind that as well. I knew even more when she ended it while she was working abroad later that year "I do think that it's bittersweet in its nature too, often we don't realise it and understand the depth of emotion until it's over. | |||
"Love is when u sacrifice everything without expectation of return, to give them something that they desperately want, even though it isn’t what u want but it will help them reach a long sought goal of their own. And u can be happy for them even though they chose not to be with u. She's right...this is love. Love makes you self less." I think there is that element to it too. | |||
"just a four letter word .means nothin in the swingers world .i have played with many on here love no of them . I wasn't asking in reference to swinging or meeting, I mean what is love to you personally, how do you know when you're in love? sorry op.love is sharing a bag of chips listening to your mans lies but believing them .even though every one says not too. Typical woman thinking all men lie giving us all a bad name lol " Typical man saying typical woman, thinking we’re all the same | |||
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"What is love? Baby don't hurt me, Don't hurt me, No more https://youtu.be/HEXWRTEbj1I" Love Haddaway | |||
"What is love? Baby don't hurt me, Don't hurt me, No more https://youtu.be/HEXWRTEbj1I" Made me think of Howard Jones not Haddaway. I’m so uncool  | |||
"What is love? Baby don't hurt me, Don't hurt me, No more https://youtu.be/HEXWRTEbj1I Love Haddaway "I don't, but the song is good | |||
""I'll leave you with a quote “A love that is dependent on something – when the thing ceases, the love also ceases. But a love that is not dependent on anything never ceases (Ethics of the Fathers, 5:16)" This I think. Love is timeless patient kind gentle seeks not for it's own satisfaction but for the peace and happiness of another. Perhaps no matter how many words we use they will never adequately define Love. It transcends language, and when we find it, no words can ever capture that earth shaking change in everything we see, do, and feel.... " Interesting that you say that, there is a school of philosophy that believes that we can't perceive that which our language can't describe. Whilst it may be hard to quantify or express, love is actually inherently in our perception of ourselves and so must be within our power of description. It's just a matter of 'how'. | |||
"What is love? Baby don't hurt me, Don't hurt me, No more https://youtu.be/HEXWRTEbj1I Love Haddaway
I don't, but the song is good "That's what I meant | |||
""I'll leave you with a quote “A love that is dependent on something – when the thing ceases, the love also ceases. But a love that is not dependent on anything never ceases (Ethics of the Fathers, 5:16)" This I think. Love is timeless patient kind gentle seeks not for it's own satisfaction but for the peace and happiness of another. Perhaps no matter how many words we use they will never adequately define Love. It transcends language, and when we find it, no words can ever capture that earth shaking change in everything we see, do, and feel.... " Beautiful | |||
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""I'll leave you with a quote “A love that is dependent on something – when the thing ceases, the love also ceases. But a love that is not dependent on anything never ceases (Ethics of the Fathers, 5:16)" This I think. Love is timeless patient kind gentle seeks not for it's own satisfaction but for the peace and happiness of another. Perhaps no matter how many words we use they will never adequately define Love. It transcends language, and when we find it, no words can ever capture that earth shaking change in everything we see, do, and feel.... Interesting that you say that, there is a school of philosophy that believes that we can't perceive that which our language can't describe. Whilst it may be hard to quantify or express, love is actually inherently in our perception of ourselves and so must be within our power of description. It's just a matter of 'how'. " Poets writers dreamers have tried to describe love for millennia. All seem to have their own definitions or ideas as to the language they use. Yet we are here doing the same. While the words may often be beyond us that makes it no less real. Perhaps the words matter less than the emotion itself and how each feels it in their life, and simply knows it, no matter what the words? In its simplest form..... Love is. | |||
"Reading some of these responses define lust to me rather than love. I don't think love can be as easily summed up as some are saying. But I think lust is often scorned rather than accepted. You can have feelings for someone but if we're all honest until you know someone from years with being with someone can it really be love? If love is what we feel for our children can that excitement when we believe we are falling in love really be love? I think what I'm trying to say is can love really be any one thing? Can it be summed up that simply because by some of the definitions above it would mean I love a lot of people. Does having feelings for someone automatically mean you love that person? But in the same instance with my close friends I would do a lot for I want them to be happy so does that mean I love them. I just don't think it can be summed up" I think that the different forms of love were framed quite nicely by a couple of posters ^^ courtesy of a the Greek philosophers. | |||
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"Not sure I should say this, but here goes, I love a girl. I know it because of the way I feel every time I think of her, it's a lot of times, every day. Asking me to describe that feeling is almost like asking me to platt fog, I lack the words, yet I know it in every part of my being. She could be the centre of my world.... If she ever felt the same. I cant change how she feels, that's for her. Yet I just know, and it doesnt change. " It's hard when that happens and it's almost the flip side of love but the only thing that you can do is to move on and live your life. A life lived in the past or mourning what couldve been is no life whatsoever. At some point you simply have to let go | |||
"I think it's difficult to explain in words... Love for me is wanting to make the other person happy..to tell them every day as much as possible how amazing they are.. And to make them feel wanted and needed. It's also the butterflies and excitement and anticipation when your going to see them.. Of thinking you cannot wait to fuck them and be naked with them.. Its getting lost in the moment when your together... When minutes kissing turns into hours and thats still not enough time. Love is so much more... Its a wonderful feeling falling in love.. I hope I get to experience it again and have someone fall in love with me too... "Fairy tale love you mean! Boy meets girl, falls in love etc.....not reality at all, especially when sifting out his grimers for the wash n they are covered in skid marks! You can keep ‘love’. As Prince Charles said in February 1981 when asked were they in love ‘whatever love means’.....he replied. Ha ha take no notice of me, I’m happy for all the couples who are compatible with each other | |||
"Not sure I should say this, but here goes, I love a girl. I know it because of the way I feel every time I think of her, it's a lot of times, every day. Asking me to describe that feeling is almost like asking me to platt fog, I lack the words, yet I know it in every part of my being. She could be the centre of my world.... If she ever felt the same. I cant change how she feels, that's for her. Yet I just know, and it doesnt change. " Unrequited love is sword that stabs you repeatedly and your heart bleeds a little more each time | |||
"I love you all #exceptyou"  | |||
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"Not sure I should say this, but here goes, I love a girl. I know it because of the way I feel every time I think of her, it's a lot of times, every day. Asking me to describe that feeling is almost like asking me to platt fog, I lack the words, yet I know it in every part of my being. She could be the centre of my world.... If she ever felt the same. I cant change how she feels, that's for her. Yet I just know, and it doesnt change. It's hard when that happens and it's almost the flip side of love but the only thing that you can do is to move on and live your life. A life lived in the past or mourning what couldve been is no life whatsoever. At some point you simply have to let go" Maybe too often we think love given has value only if it's ever returned.... | |||
Dotty x | |||
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