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Repeat message etiquette
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By *eclanH OP Man
over a year ago
Liphook |
Clearly it’s bad etiquette to message someone repeadedly. But when / if is it okay to send another message.
I ask because in my searches, I find profiles that I like, only to see that I messaged them 6 months ago (with no reply). Now, I’m hesitant to message again. I can’t remember what I wrote or if it was read or unread. But I do think, a fair number of my messages do appear unread in general and that women do get spammed, so maybe my original message was never read, so sending another can’t hurt. That’s okay, right?
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By *obletonMan
over a year ago
A Home Among The Woodland Creatures |
There have been numerous occasions where I have spotted someone on here who, because of what they said about themselves on their profile, made me think I was a really good match for them.
So sent them one of my trademark utterly unique, witty, sexy and hilarious messages - only to receive no response whatsoever.
However a few months down the line, they have either contacted me (not a reply to my original message) - or have responded positively to another message or speculative wink from me, and things have worked out.
When it's come up in conversation that I had messaged them before, more than half have no recollection - most likely my message was lost in a swamped inbox and cleared out in a mass delete never having been read or read properly.
The other half remember it - liked it - but already had more than enough on their plates to give it their full attention (realistically how many simultaneous conversations can you maintain and meets can you plan before it becomes a chore or your diary is full for the forseeable?) and just didn't want to waste my time or theirs by spreading themselves too thinly.
So short answer:
Yes - Unless you have received an unequivocal "not interested response, it is 100% fine to re-message
How long? - I generally reckon 2 months or so - but give yourself a little leeway - perhaps they put a particularly interesting status update or a "meet today" that might warrant an earlier message - use your judgement.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Message them again - then use the notes function on their profile to say what you said, and when - and then edit the note if they read it and delete, don’t read it etc.
I don’t mind the odd message from someone who’s contacted before, but when they’re trying it often, I just block  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As long as it's not in quick succession I don't mind it. Twice is enough though, some guys mail once or twice a day for weeks, I don't understand how they can't tell how desperate they look!  |
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"Message them again - then use the notes function on their profile to say what you said, and when - and then edit the note if they read it and delete, don’t read it etc.
I don’t mind the odd message from someone who’s contacted before, but when they’re trying it often, I just block "
Omg there's a note section.....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There have been numerous occasions where I have spotted someone on here who, because of what they said about themselves on their profile, made me think I was a really good match for them.
So sent them one of my trademark utterly unique, witty, sexy and hilarious messages - only to receive no response whatsoever.
However a few months down the line, they have either contacted me (not a reply to my original message) - or have responded positively to another message or speculative wink from me, and things have worked out.
When it's come up in conversation that I had messaged them before, more than half have no recollection - most likely my message was lost in a swamped inbox and cleared out in a mass delete never having been read or read properly.
The other half remember it - liked it - but already had more than enough on their plates to give it their full attention (realistically how many simultaneous conversations can you maintain and meets can you plan before it becomes a chore or your diary is full for the forseeable?) and just didn't want to waste my time or theirs by spreading themselves too thinly.
So short answer:
Yes - Unless you have received an unequivocal "not interested response, it is 100% fine to re-message
How long? - I generally reckon 2 months or so - but give yourself a little leeway - perhaps they put a particularly interesting status update or a "meet today" that might warrant an earlier message - use your judgement.
"
Great answer. Although I have not had your experience I would agree with your guidance for those reasons as well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Clearly it’s bad etiquette to message someone repeadedly. But when / if is it okay to send another message.
I ask because in my searches, I find profiles that I like, only to see that I messaged them 6 months ago (with no reply). Now, I’m hesitant to message again. I can’t remember what I wrote or if it was read or unread. But I do think, a fair number of my messages do appear unread in general and that women do get spammed, so maybe my original message was never read, so sending another can’t hurt. That’s okay, right?
"
just message again it probably wasn't read I've had great success doing this..... Of course as always interesting messages |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Message them again - then use the notes function on their profile to say what you said, and when - and then edit the note if they read it and delete, don’t read it etc.
I don’t mind the odd message from someone who’s contacted before, but when they’re trying it often, I just block
Omg there's a note section..... "
Yep - I have used it twice. I forget it’s there! |
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No for various reason (I.e. lost in their mass mail flow) the may not of got the message. So always worth trying again. I find good message escalation etiquette as so:
1st. Zup?
2nd (next day). Zup?
3rd (next 3 day). Zup? (With attached cock pic)
4th (10 mins later). Wana fuck?
5th (10 mins later). Cum on know yo wana.
6th (5 mins later). Do be so stuck up, I have loads wana suc dis cock.
7th (5 mins later). Look yo wana or not
8th (5 mins later). Stop being so tight you fat bitch. I was only messaging you because your so ugly I felt sorry.
9th (1 mins later). Sorry your well beautiful. Wana suc my cock.
10th (30 mins later). Hope you die in a freak yachting accident you fat bint.
11th (2 days later) Zup?
As a gentleman that's the code of etiquette I like to follow (call me old fashioned) |
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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago
so near and yet so far.... |
"No for various reason (I.e. lost in their mass mail flow) the may not of got the message. So always worth trying again. I find good message escalation etiquette as so:
1st. Zup?
2nd (next day). Zup?
3rd (next 3 day). Zup? (With attached cock pic)
4th (10 mins later). Wana fuck?
5th (10 mins later). Cum on know yo wana.
6th (5 mins later). Do be so stuck up, I have loads wana suc dis cock.
7th (5 mins later). Look yo wana or not
8th (5 mins later). Stop being so tight you fat bitch. I was only messaging you because your so ugly I felt sorry.
9th (1 mins later). Sorry your well beautiful. Wana suc my cock.
10th (30 mins later). Hope you die in a freak yachting accident you fat bint.
11th (2 days later) Zup?
As a gentleman that's the code of etiquette I like to follow (call me old fashioned)"
100% guaranteed??  |
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By *obletonMan
over a year ago
A Home Among The Woodland Creatures |
"No for various reason (I.e. lost in their mass mail flow) the may not of got the message. So always worth trying again. I find good message escalation etiquette as so:
1st. Zup?
2nd (next day). Zup?
3rd (next 3 day). Zup? (With attached cock pic)
4th (10 mins later). Wana fuck?
5th (10 mins later). Cum on know yo wana.
6th (5 mins later). Do be so stuck up, I have loads wana suc dis cock.
7th (5 mins later). Look yo wana or not
8th (5 mins later). Stop being so tight you fat bitch. I was only messaging you because your so ugly I felt sorry.
9th (1 mins later). Sorry your well beautiful. Wana suc my cock.
10th (30 mins later). Hope you die in a freak yachting accident you fat bint.
11th (2 days later) Zup?
As a gentleman that's the code of etiquette I like to follow (call me old fashioned)"
what I said but also this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't you usually get a warning saying you have messaged them before and they haven't replied, if they didnt respond?
If you don't get the warning I'd go for it..
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By *eclanH OP Man
over a year ago
Liphook |
"Don't you usually get a warning saying you have messaged them before and they haven't replied, if they didnt respond?
If you don't get the warning I'd go for it..
"
I do get warning. That’s why I’m asking this question. Is it okay to send despite warning, if the last time you messaged them was months ago. If they had replied, (you can see that they did reply but you don’t have the message necessarily) and in that case, if I can’t remember the conversation, I would not send another message as I’d assumed that they must have actively said no thanks. |
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"Don't you usually get a warning saying you have messaged them before and they haven't replied, if they didnt respond?
If you don't get the warning I'd go for it..
I do get warning. That’s why I’m asking this question. Is it okay to send despite warning, if the last time you messaged them was months ago. If they had replied, (you can see that they did reply but you don’t have the message necessarily) and in that case, if I can’t remember the conversation, I would not send another message as I’d assumed that they must have actively said no thanks."
Which is it? With or without reply because you’ve said one and then another..
Without reply, is a don’t..
With reply, it’s up to you to note it, women do it so why can’t you.. |
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By *obletonMan
over a year ago
A Home Among The Woodland Creatures |
"
I do get warning. That’s why I’m asking this question. Is it okay to send despite warning, if the last time you messaged them was months ago. If they had replied, (you can see that they did reply but you don’t have the message necessarily) and in that case, if I can’t remember the conversation, I would not send another message as I’d assumed that they must have actively said no thanks."
I assumed the warning timed out after 30 days - like the wink warning (I'm a serial winker  )
But yeah - if you can see it was months ago that you messaged then go for it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would definitely message again max three times. Sometimes I delete messages without reading them just because I have too many. If you sent 4 or 5 and I’m really not interested, sorry but I’ll block you. |
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By *obletonMan
over a year ago
A Home Among The Woodland Creatures |
"I would definitely message again max three times. Sometimes I delete messages without reading them just because I have too many. If you sent 4 or 5 and I’m really not interested, sorry but I’ll block you."
Nothing wrong with being blocked though
It's an unequivocal expression of lack of interest and therefore a result |
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By *eclanH OP Man
over a year ago
Liphook |
"Don't you usually get a warning saying you have messaged them before and they haven't replied, if they didnt respond?
If you don't get the warning I'd go for it..
I do get warning. That’s why I’m asking this question. Is it okay to send despite warning, if the last time you messaged them was months ago. If they had replied, (you can see that they did reply but you don’t have the message necessarily) and in that case, if I can’t remember the conversation, I would not send another message as I’d assumed that they must have actively said no thanks.
Which is it? With or without reply because you’ve said one and then another..
Without reply, is a don’t..
With reply, it’s up to you to note it, women do it so why can’t you.. "
Perhaps you’ve misunderstood, or more likely I’ve articulated poorly.
Scenario 1:
I sent a message 6 months ago, and I know the person did not reply.
Scenario 2:
I sent a message 6 months ago, and I know the person did, in fact, reply.
In both scenarios, the original message(s) are no longer available, and in both cases I do not recall my original message or the reply (if there had been one).
My original question was only in the context of scenario 1. That’s because in scenario 2, I will not send a second message because I would assume their reply was a no thank you.
In scenario 1, I wanted to know if it’s okay to send a message after a few months, despite the Fav warning that I had sent a message which had not been replied to.
I think it’s okay to do this, and several people here agree. The reason it’s okay is because it’s not persistent and there’s a reasonably good chance that the original message was not read by the recipient in the first place. |
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"Don't you usually get a warning saying you have messaged them before and they haven't replied, if they didnt respond?
If you don't get the warning I'd go for it..
I do get warning. That’s why I’m asking this question. Is it okay to send despite warning, if the last time you messaged them was months ago. If they had replied, (you can see that they did reply but you don’t have the message necessarily) and in that case, if I can’t remember the conversation, I would not send another message as I’d assumed that they must have actively said no thanks.
Which is it? With or without reply because you’ve said one and then another..
Without reply, is a don’t..
With reply, it’s up to you to note it, women do it so why can’t you..
Perhaps you’ve misunderstood, or more likely I’ve articulated poorly.
Scenario 1:
I sent a message 6 months ago, and I know the person did not reply.
Scenario 2:
I sent a message 6 months ago, and I know the person did, in fact, reply.
In both scenarios, the original message(s) are no longer available, and in both cases I do not recall my original message or the reply (if there had been one).
My original question was only in the context of scenario 1. That’s because in scenario 2, I will not send a second message because I would assume their reply was a no thank you.
In scenario 1, I wanted to know if it’s okay to send a message after a few months, despite the Fav warning that I had sent a message which had not been replied to.
I think it’s okay to do this, and several people here agree. The reason it’s okay is because it’s not persistent and there’s a reasonably good chance that the original message was not read by the recipient in the first place."
Ah I see, I’m sure you’ll get the answer you’re looking for from a few..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Clearly it’s bad etiquette to message someone repeadedly. But when / if is it okay to send another message.
I ask because in my searches, I find profiles that I like, only to see that I messaged them 6 months ago (with no reply). Now, I’m hesitant to message again. I can’t remember what I wrote or if it was read or unread. But I do think, a fair number of my messages do appear unread in general and that women do get spammed, so maybe my original message was never read, so sending another can’t hurt. That’s okay, right?
"
Fckinell mate, what's the worst that's gonna happen? |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Clearly it’s bad etiquette to message someone repeadedly. But when / if is it okay to send another message.
I ask because in my searches, I find profiles that I like, only to see that I messaged them 6 months ago (with no reply). Now, I’m hesitant to message again. I can’t remember what I wrote or if it was read or unread. But I do think, a fair number of my messages do appear unread in general and that women do get spammed, so maybe my original message was never read, so sending another can’t hurt. That’s okay, right?
Fckinell mate, what's the worst that's gonna happen?"
 |
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By *eclanH OP Man
over a year ago
Liphook |
"Clearly it’s bad etiquette to message someone repeadedly. But when / if is it okay to send another message.
I ask because in my searches, I find profiles that I like, only to see that I messaged them 6 months ago (with no reply). Now, I’m hesitant to message again. I can’t remember what I wrote or if it was read or unread. But I do think, a fair number of my messages do appear unread in general and that women do get spammed, so maybe my original message was never read, so sending another can’t hurt. That’s okay, right?
Fckinell mate, what's the worst that's gonna happen?"
The sky will fall |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Clearly it’s bad etiquette to message someone repeadedly. But when / if is it okay to send another message.
I ask because in my searches, I find profiles that I like, only to see that I messaged them 6 months ago (with no reply). Now, I’m hesitant to message again. I can’t remember what I wrote or if it was read or unread. But I do think, a fair number of my messages do appear unread in general and that women do get spammed, so maybe my original message was never read, so sending another can’t hurt. That’s okay, right?
Fckinell mate, what's the worst that's gonna happen?
The sky will fall"
To be honest you've mashed your chances with all this pithering. All you're going to end up with is a Candice Marie and I doubt there's many of them on here. |
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By *eclanH OP Man
over a year ago
Liphook |
"Never message again bro if they don't message back first place they're stuck up and you're to good for them
I disagree with all three of your points."
Unless sarcasm, then I wholeheartedly agree. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No for various reason (I.e. lost in their mass mail flow) the may not of got the message. So always worth trying again. I find good message escalation etiquette as so:
1st. Zup?
2nd (next day). Zup?
3rd (next 3 day). Zup? (With attached cock pic)
4th (10 mins later). Wana fuck?
5th (10 mins later). Cum on know yo wana.
6th (5 mins later). Do be so stuck up, I have loads wana suc dis cock.
7th (5 mins later). Look yo wana or not
8th (5 mins later). Stop being so tight you fat bitch. I was only messaging you because your so ugly I felt sorry.
9th (1 mins later). Sorry your well beautiful. Wana suc my cock.
10th (30 mins later). Hope you die in a freak yachting accident you fat bint.
11th (2 days later) Zup?
As a gentleman that's the code of etiquette I like to follow (call me old fashioned)"
Dont i get this and block and i don’t block enou |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I would definitely message again max three times. Sometimes I delete messages without reading them just because I have too many. If you sent 4 or 5 and I’m really not interested, sorry but I’ll block you.
Nothing wrong with being blocked though
It's an unequivocal expression of lack of interest and therefore a result"
This is true too |
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By *eclanH OP Man
over a year ago
Liphook |
"Clearly it’s bad etiquette to message someone repeadedly. But when / if is it okay to send another message.
I ask because in my searches, I find profiles that I like, only to see that I messaged them 6 months ago (with no reply). Now, I’m hesitant to message again. I can’t remember what I wrote or if it was read or unread. But I do think, a fair number of my messages do appear unread in general and that women do get spammed, so maybe my original message was never read, so sending another can’t hurt. That’s okay, right?
Fckinell mate, what's the worst that's gonna happen?
The sky will fall
To be honest you've mashed your chances with all this pithering. All you're going to end up with is a Candice Marie and I doubt there's many of them on here."
You’re so smart. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Clearly it’s bad etiquette to message someone repeadedly. But when / if is it okay to send another message.
I ask because in my searches, I find profiles that I like, only to see that I messaged them 6 months ago (with no reply). Now, I’m hesitant to message again. I can’t remember what I wrote or if it was read or unread. But I do think, a fair number of my messages do appear unread in general and that women do get spammed, so maybe my original message was never read, so sending another can’t hurt. That’s okay, right?
Fckinell mate, what's the worst that's gonna happen?
The sky will fall
To be honest you've mashed your chances with all this pithering. All you're going to end up with is a Candice Marie and I doubt there's many of them on here.
You’re so smart."
Thanks but this is no time for fawning over me, you need to be decisive in other areas. |
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By *eclanH OP Man
over a year ago
Liphook |
"Clearly it’s bad etiquette to message someone repeadedly. But when / if is it okay to send another message.
I ask because in my searches, I find profiles that I like, only to see that I messaged them 6 months ago (with no reply). Now, I’m hesitant to message again. I can’t remember what I wrote or if it was read or unread. But I do think, a fair number of my messages do appear unread in general and that women do get spammed, so maybe my original message was never read, so sending another can’t hurt. That’s okay, right?
Fckinell mate, what's the worst that's gonna happen?
The sky will fall
To be honest you've mashed your chances with all this pithering. All you're going to end up with is a Candice Marie and I doubt there's many of them on here.
You’re so smart.
Thanks but this is no time for fawning over me, you need to be decisive in other areas."
Mesmerised and distracted by big words, I’m afraid. |
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By *obletonMan
over a year ago
A Home Among The Woodland Creatures |
"
To be honest you've mashed your chances with all this pithering. All you're going to end up with is a Candice Marie and I doubt there's many of them on here."
Is that a Nuts In May reference ? |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"
To be honest you've mashed your chances with all this pithering. All you're going to end up with is a Candice Marie and I doubt there's many of them on here.
Is that a Nuts In May reference ?"
It better be, Keith |
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By *obletonMan
over a year ago
A Home Among The Woodland Creatures |
"
To be honest you've mashed your chances with all this pithering. All you're going to end up with is a Candice Marie and I doubt there's many of them on here.
Is that a Nuts In May reference ?
It better be, Keith"
I find Nuts in May to be a test of taste and character - anyone I meet who knows and loves that film immediately goes up in my estimation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Never message again bro if they don't message back first place they're stuck up and you're to good for them
I disagree with all three of your points."
Only two points made boss FFS |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"
To be honest you've mashed your chances with all this pithering. All you're going to end up with is a Candice Marie and I doubt there's many of them on here.
Is that a Nuts In May reference ?
It better be, Keith
I find Nuts in May to be a test of taste and character - anyone I meet who knows and loves that film immediately goes up in my estimation."
You're breaking the laws of the campsite and the laws of the country code! |
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By *eclanH OP Man
over a year ago
Liphook |
"Never message again bro if they don't message back first place they're stuck up and you're to good for them
I disagree with all three of your points.
Only two points made boss FFS "
I count three but bevermind that. Was your original point(s) serious. I don’t know you well enough to judge. |
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By *obletonMan
over a year ago
A Home Among The Woodland Creatures |
"
To be honest you've mashed your chances with all this pithering. All you're going to end up with is a Candice Marie and I doubt there's many of them on here.
Is that a Nuts In May reference ?
It better be, Keith
I find Nuts in May to be a test of taste and character - anyone I meet who knows and loves that film immediately goes up in my estimation.
You're breaking the laws of the campsite and the laws of the country code!"
There's a car going up the B3351 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Never message again bro if they don't message back first place they're stuck up and you're to good for them
I disagree with all three of your points.
Only two points made boss FFS
I count three but bevermind that. Was your original point(s) serious. I don’t know you well enough to judge."
The only point I made was you're too good for them and they are stuck up and both are serious |
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By *eclanH OP Man
over a year ago
Liphook |
"Never message again bro if they don't message back first place they're stuck up and you're to good for them
I disagree with all three of your points.
Only two points made boss FFS
I count three but bevermind that. Was your original point(s) serious. I don’t know you well enough to judge.
The only point I made was you're too good for them and they are stuck up and both are serious"
Okay. Thanks for clarifying.
I disagree that they are stuck up
I disagree that I’m too good for them
I disagree that I should never message them again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If the stuck up bitch dont not reply in an hour then I fink she's a chancer or a les or a fake.
Ether way i block them.
Can't work out y there's only 29 birds left on fab. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"
To be honest you've mashed your chances with all this pithering. All you're going to end up with is a Candice Marie and I doubt there's many of them on here.
Is that a Nuts In May reference ?
It better be, Keith
I find Nuts in May to be a test of taste and character - anyone I meet who knows and loves that film immediately goes up in my estimation.
You're breaking the laws of the campsite and the laws of the country code!
There's a car going up the B3351"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If the stuck up bitch dont not reply in an hour then I fink she's a chancer or a les or a fake.
Ether way i block them.
Can't work out y there's only 29 birds left on fab. |
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"If the stuck up bitch dont not reply in an hour then I fink she's a chancer or a les or a fake.
Ether way i block them.
Can't work out y there's only 29 birds left on fab."
It must be a les.... yeah..... one of those dirty lezzies..... or she'd be all over you like a fly over shit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If the stuck up bitch dont not reply in an hour then I fink she's a chancer or a les or a fake.
Ether way i block them.
Can't work out y there's only 29 birds left on fab.
It must be a les.... yeah..... one of those dirty lezzies..... or she'd be all over you like a fly over shit."
Thats sooo romantik |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just mind what you message again. We had someone message along the lines of "we chatted before, got on well, would like to renew the conversation". We do use private notes so we knew there was no chatting, we didn't get on and the only reply we gave at the time was no thanks.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just mind what you message again. We had someone message along the lines of "we chatted before, got on well, would like to renew the conversation". We do use private notes so we knew there was no chatting, we didn't get on and the only reply we gave at the time was no thanks.
Mrs "
Haha I’ve had that
I could still view the last of the conversation we had so I just screenshotted it and sent them it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest you've mashed your chances with all this pithering. All you're going to end up with is a Candice Marie and I doubt there's many of them on here.
Is that a Nuts In May reference ?
It better be, Keith
I find Nuts in May to be a test of taste and character - anyone I meet who knows and loves that film immediately goes up in my estimation."
I'm not saying it's the best thing I've ever seen but it's my top one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
To be honest you've mashed your chances with all this pithering. All you're going to end up with is a Candice Marie and I doubt there's many of them on here.
Is that a Nuts In May reference ?
It better be, Keith
I find Nuts in May to be a test of taste and character - anyone I meet who knows and loves that film immediately goes up in my estimation.
You're breaking the laws of the campsite and the laws of the country code!"
Have you seen Sightseers? it's a bit like an up to date, darker Nuts in May? |
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By *eclanH OP Man
over a year ago
Liphook |
"Just mind what you message again. We had someone message along the lines of "we chatted before, got on well, would like to renew the conversation". We do use private notes so we knew there was no chatting, we didn't get on and the only reply we gave at the time was no thanks.
Mrs "
Well, I try not to lie |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just mind what you message again. We had someone message along the lines of "we chatted before, got on well, would like to renew the conversation". We do use private notes so we knew there was no chatting, we didn't get on and the only reply we gave at the time was no thanks.
Mrs
Haha I’ve had that
I could still view the last of the conversation we had so I just screenshotted it and sent them it "
Brilliant 
Mrs |
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