FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How many men can’t get it up on a meet ?
How many men can’t get it up on a meet ?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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There was one time where we literally tried everything, but could I get it up, could I heck as like. Let just say my fingers saved me that day, lol.
Anywho, this is a question to the fellas who out there has failed to maintain or even get an erection on a meet. What was the reason and why ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Like they’re all gonna come and announce that lol
Why not, women say when they can’t orgasm on a meet ?!  "
Is not getting it up the same as not orgasming? I would have thought the equivalent would be not being able to orgasm either |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It happened to me too but for my defense the woman had two teeth missing and I was afraid that if my flaccid cock get sticked into that hole and I start to get hard I would break her jaws... So I didn't get erect to protect her really |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It happened to me too but for my defense the woman had two teeth missing and I was afraid that if my flaccid cock get sticked into that hole and I start to get hard I would break her jaws... So I didn't get erect to protect her really "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only happened once. The couple were really understanding. We went downstairs and watched a film and they made me a brew. I went home after a bit really embarrassed and tried to forget about it. They messaged me a couple of days later to ask me back. I accepted and that time we had a great time. Still no idea why it happened. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It happened to me too but for my defense the woman had two teeth missing and I was afraid that if my flaccid cock get sticked into that hole and I start to get hard I would break her jaws... So I didn't get erect to protect her really "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One guy just didn't fancy me.
The other said it was medical issues, high blood pressure and nerves. He was fine most of the time after the first."
My BP medicine combined with being over excited and nervous can affect it. Thankfully with patient and understanding partners it can be worked through |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our first swingers party C had issues with this. Viagra and 15 minutes later put paid to the issues haha"
I’ve never taken anything for it. I don’t want it interfering with my BP meds |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One guy just didn't fancy me.
The other said it was medical issues, high blood pressure and nerves. He was fine most of the time after the first.
My BP medicine combined with being over excited and nervous can affect it. Thankfully with patient and understanding partners it can be worked through"
Interesting as it happened to me once and he couldn’t understand why but i was convinced it was me and it really knocked my self confidence for a while as it had never happened with anyone else I’d been with. It wasn’t anybody from here by the way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happened to me on a meet once - the woman was amazingly hot and I wasn’t confident with how I looked, the more I thought about it the worse it was.
She was absolutely fine and we have met a few times since.
But yeah....that happened haha |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"It happened to me too but for my defense the woman had two teeth missing and I was afraid that if my flaccid cock get sticked into that hole and I start to get hard I would break her jaws... So I didn't get erect to protect her really "
 so thoughtful. You can break my jaw anytime pet x |
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When I go in a room with a couple, she turns out to be a pillow princess and he thinks he's a porn director. I need the female to be an active participant and I don't like a third party giving me instructions. I walk. |
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It's happened to me twice. The first time, the woman was like a super model, I felt under extreme pressure and he just wouldn't wake up at all. It was the most embarrassing thing ever, it devestated me and gave me a complex for a few months afterwards.
The second time, the woman was nice but I just wasn't attracted to her and I just wasn't feeling it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One guy just didn't fancy me.
The other said it was medical issues, high blood pressure and nerves. He was fine most of the time after the first.
My BP medicine combined with being over excited and nervous can affect it. Thankfully with patient and understanding partners it can be worked through
Interesting as it happened to me once and he couldn’t understand why but i was convinced it was me and it really knocked my self confidence for a while as it had never happened with anyone else I’d been with. It wasn’t anybody from here by the way. "
It has never in any way been attributable to anything to do with my partners. I know why it happens, I know where it comes from and thankfully I’ve made progress on how to deal with it. However it can play on a guy’s mind and that can make things worse.
Ill-fitting condoms are another source of it happening too, as well as mental blocks around condoms due to previous experiences.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I go in a room with a couple, she turns out to be a pillow princess and he thinks he's a porn director. I need the female to be an active participant and I don't like a third party giving me instructions. I walk. "
Pillow princess hahaha |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
My very first fab meet. I had some difficulty at first that were in all likelihood nerves. She understood and was patient and in the end we got there 
No problems ever since.
We're still good friends and I call her my fab fairy godmother |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One guy just didn't fancy me.
The other said it was medical issues, high blood pressure and nerves. He was fine most of the time after the first.
My BP medicine combined with being over excited and nervous can affect it. Thankfully with patient and understanding partners it can be worked through
Interesting as it happened to me once and he couldn’t understand why but i was convinced it was me and it really knocked my self confidence for a while as it had never happened with anyone else I’d been with. It wasn’t anybody from here by the way.
It has never in any way been attributable to anything to do with my partners. I know why it happens, I know where it comes from and thankfully I’ve made progress on how to deal with it. However it can play on a guy’s mind and that can make things worse.
Ill-fitting condoms are another source of it happening too, as well as mental blocks around condoms due to previous experiences.
"
It was the first time we got together but we did meet quite a few times after and it was all good. I still remember feeling a bit shit though although I didn’t say that to him obviously as he was embarrassed himself x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My very first fab meet. I had some difficulty at first that were in all likelihood nerves. She understood and was patient and in the end we got there
No problems ever since.
We're still good friends and I call her my fab fairy godmother "
Was that the first one of the night though or the 21st one? |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"My very first fab meet. I had some difficulty at first that were in all likelihood nerves. She understood and was patient and in the end we got there
No problems ever since.
We're still good friends and I call her my fab fairy godmother
Was that the first one of the night though or the 21st one? "
I've no.idea to what you're referring  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One guy just didn't fancy me.
The other said it was medical issues, high blood pressure and nerves. He was fine most of the time after the first.
My BP medicine combined with being over excited and nervous can affect it. Thankfully with patient and understanding partners it can be worked through
Interesting as it happened to me once and he couldn’t understand why but i was convinced it was me and it really knocked my self confidence for a while as it had never happened with anyone else I’d been with. It wasn’t anybody from here by the way.
It has never in any way been attributable to anything to do with my partners. I know why it happens, I know where it comes from and thankfully I’ve made progress on how to deal with it. However it can play on a guy’s mind and that can make things worse.
Ill-fitting condoms are another source of it happening too, as well as mental blocks around condoms due to previous experiences.
It was the first time we got together but we did meet quite a few times after and it was all good. I still remember feeling a bit shit though although I didn’t say that to him obviously as he was embarrassed himself x"
Isn’t it funny how we let our inner critic beat ourselves, even when there isn’t necessarily a valid reason? |
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"There was one time where we literally tried everything, but could I get it up, could I heck as like. Let just say my fingers saved me that day, lol.
Anywho, this is a question to the fellas who out there has failed to maintain or even get an erection on a meet. What was the reason and why ?
"
At the risk of committing Forum Meet Fabicide.......
Not and out and out not got wood; a couple of times in clubs it's been so hot it's exhausting.
I don't function well at anything in the heat, let alone having the sex.
We gave up, retired to our air conditioned hotel room and had a great time.
I do get anxious sometimes though, I suffer from high blood pressure and that makes things a challenge occasionally.
Trouble is, performance anxiety can be a self fulfilling prophesy.
I like a lot of time, a lot of build up, lots of tactile "stuff" to build up to the main event.
*hides profile
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I haven't had enough sleep, it can be difficult. And also sometimes if I've been focused on foreplay, ignoring him completely, and she suddenly says she wants it..."
Yep Ive experienced the extended foreplay focus before. It takes a while for him to wake up if he’s nodded off |
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"If I haven't had enough sleep, it can be difficult. And also sometimes if I've been focused on foreplay, ignoring him completely, and she suddenly says she wants it...
Yep Ive experienced the extended foreplay focus before. It takes a while for him to wake up if he’s nodded off "
I think any man struggles with this unless you have the anatomy of an Olympic athlete... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There was one time where we literally tried everything, but could I get it up, could I heck as like. Let just say my fingers saved me that day, lol.
Anywho, this is a question to the fellas who out there has failed to maintain or even get an erection on a meet. What was the reason and why ?
At the risk of committing Forum Meet Fabicide.......
Not and out and out not got wood; a couple of times in clubs it's been so hot it's exhausting.
I don't function well at anything in the heat, let alone having the sex.
We gave up, retired to our air conditioned hotel room and had a great time.
I do get anxious sometimes though, I suffer from high blood pressure and that makes things a challenge occasionally.
Trouble is, performance anxiety can be a self fulfilling prophesy.
I like a lot of time, a lot of build up, lots of tactile "stuff" to build up to the main event.
*hides profile
"
Thanks SB it’s really good that we can express these things. I think we can help others who are worrying about it silently  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I haven't had enough sleep, it can be difficult. And also sometimes if I've been focused on foreplay, ignoring him completely, and she suddenly says she wants it...
Yep Ive experienced the extended foreplay focus before. It takes a while for him to wake up if he’s nodded off
I think any man struggles with this unless you have the anatomy of an Olympic athlete... "
I struggled when I did. I was elite athlete fit when I was younger, but still had problems through nerves and anxiety at times. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It happened to me on my 2nd ever meet (not through Fab). I had met the bloke twice before socially. He started trying to fuck me , stopped, lay on top of me for 5 minutes , then he announced it wasn't working , told me to get dressed, then stood down the bottom of the stairs making it clear he wanted me to leave. I left. I kinda thought we could have coffee instead but he just slung me out.
Xx
|
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"If I haven't had enough sleep, it can be difficult. And also sometimes if I've been focused on foreplay, ignoring him completely, and she suddenly says she wants it...
Yep Ive experienced the extended foreplay focus before. It takes a while for him to wake up if he’s nodded off
I think any man struggles with this unless you have the anatomy of an Olympic athlete...
I struggled when I did. I was elite athlete fit when I was younger, but still had problems through nerves and anxiety at times."
Well I'm no doctor but it seems you struggled with mental factors whereas I was saying the majority of men will struggle with the physical factors... |
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"It happened to me on my 2nd ever meet (not through Fab). I had met the bloke twice before socially. He started trying to fuck me , stopped, lay on top of me for 5 minutes , then he announced it wasn't working , told me to get dressed, then stood down the bottom of the stairs making it clear he wanted me to leave. I left. I kinda thought we could have coffee instead but he just slung me out.
Xx
"
Lol, he probably panicked like crazy! |
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"There was one time where we literally tried everything, but could I get it up, could I heck as like. Let just say my fingers saved me that day, lol.
Anywho, this is a question to the fellas who out there has failed to maintain or even get an erection on a meet. What was the reason and why ?
At the risk of committing Forum Meet Fabicide.......
Not and out and out not got wood; a couple of times in clubs it's been so hot it's exhausting.
I don't function well at anything in the heat, let alone having the sex.
We gave up, retired to our air conditioned hotel room and had a great time.
I do get anxious sometimes though, I suffer from high blood pressure and that makes things a challenge occasionally.
Trouble is, performance anxiety can be a self fulfilling prophesy.
I like a lot of time, a lot of build up, lots of tactile "stuff" to build up to the main event.
*hides profile
Thanks SB it’s really good that we can express these things. I think we can help others who are worrying about it silently "
Absolutely. I know one day it's not going to happen at all, no matter how hard I/we try.
Thankfully on those occasions when I've not got full wood I've been with a really understanding partner and we've still had a good time.
Albeit eventually.
One of the reasons I don't rush into meets. Got to make exactly the right connection with the right person.
Nothing boils my piss more than seeing threads where a couple (it's usually a couple) belittling a meet for not getting it up.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It happened to me on my 2nd ever meet (not through Fab). I had met the bloke twice before socially. He started trying to fuck me , stopped, lay on top of me for 5 minutes , then he announced it wasn't working , told me to get dressed, then stood down the bottom of the stairs making it clear he wanted me to leave. I left. I kinda thought we could have coffee instead but he just slung me out.
Xx
Lol, he probably panicked like crazy!"
He had been drinking a lot of whisky the night before, I think that's what did it. He had got it hard once before when we just snogged xx |
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"It happened to me on my 2nd ever meet (not through Fab). I had met the bloke twice before socially. He started trying to fuck me , stopped, lay on top of me for 5 minutes , then he announced it wasn't working , told me to get dressed, then stood down the bottom of the stairs making it clear he wanted me to leave. I left. I kinda thought we could have coffee instead but he just slung me out.
Xx
"
Well I can honestly say the only time I have not been able to get it up no matter what I tried was due to drugs... it has happened more than once that my body is too tense and I'm physically exhausted due to general life stress/lack of sleep etc.
The key is to not stress over it, I find a shower and a short break is what works for me...
Making an issue of it is the worst thing and thats exactly what your man did, it will add an awkward dynamic to the evening but a hot shower and a relaxed 20 mins or so with your partner has always worked for me |
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No problems with any of my meets so far apart from once I went to club for first time with FWB and on second time around I thought it might not gonna happen with being very hot and some people watching.. but I did not gave up and we get there eventually  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There was one time where we literally tried everything, but could I get it up, could I heck as like. Let just say my fingers saved me that day, lol.
Anywho, this is a question to the fellas who out there has failed to maintain or even get an erection on a meet. What was the reason and why ?
At the risk of committing Forum Meet Fabicide.......
Not and out and out not got wood; a couple of times in clubs it's been so hot it's exhausting.
I don't function well at anything in the heat, let alone having the sex.
We gave up, retired to our air conditioned hotel room and had a great time.
I do get anxious sometimes though, I suffer from high blood pressure and that makes things a challenge occasionally.
Trouble is, performance anxiety can be a self fulfilling prophesy.
I like a lot of time, a lot of build up, lots of tactile "stuff" to build up to the main event.
*hides profile
Thanks SB it’s really good that we can express these things. I think we can help others who are worrying about it silently
Absolutely. I know one day it's not going to happen at all, no matter how hard I/we try.
Thankfully on those occasions when I've not got full wood I've been with a really understanding partner and we've still had a good time.
Albeit eventually.
One of the reasons I don't rush into meets. Got to make exactly the right connection with the right person.
Nothing boils my piss more than seeing threads where a couple (it's usually a couple) belittling a meet for not getting it up.
"
It certainly doesn’t help those who struggle for sure. It doesn’t piss me off more feel sad about their lack of sensitivity |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It happened to me on my 2nd ever meet (not through Fab). I had met the bloke twice before socially. He started trying to fuck me , stopped, lay on top of me for 5 minutes , then he announced it wasn't working , told me to get dressed, then stood down the bottom of the stairs making it clear he wanted me to leave. I left. I kinda thought we could have coffee instead but he just slung me out.
Xx
"
. Sorry to hear that, I guess everyone deals with it differently but that’s a horrible experience all round. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One guy just didn't fancy me.
The other said it was medical issues, high blood pressure and nerves. He was fine most of the time after the first.
My BP medicine combined with being over excited and nervous can affect it. Thankfully with patient and understanding partners it can be worked through
Interesting as it happened to me once and he couldn’t understand why but i was convinced it was me and it really knocked my self confidence for a while as it had never happened with anyone else I’d been with. It wasn’t anybody from here by the way.
It has never in any way been attributable to anything to do with my partners. I know why it happens, I know where it comes from and thankfully I’ve made progress on how to deal with it. However it can play on a guy’s mind and that can make things worse.
Ill-fitting condoms are another source of it happening too, as well as mental blocks around condoms due to previous experiences.
It was the first time we got together but we did meet quite a few times after and it was all good. I still remember feeling a bit shit though although I didn’t say that to him obviously as he was embarrassed himself x"
Same. I went back for a 2nd try because I felt so shit after the first time. I should have left it and never gone back. The ED wasn't the problem, he was. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There was one time where we literally tried everything, but could I get it up, could I heck as like. Let just say my fingers saved me that day, lol.
Anywho, this is a question to the fellas who out there has failed to maintain or even get an erection on a meet. What was the reason and why ?
At the risk of committing Forum Meet Fabicide.......
Not and out and out not got wood; a couple of times in clubs it's been so hot it's exhausting.
I don't function well at anything in the heat, let alone having the sex.
We gave up, retired to our air conditioned hotel room and had a great time.
I do get anxious sometimes though, I suffer from high blood pressure and that makes things a challenge occasionally.
Trouble is, performance anxiety can be a self fulfilling prophesy.
I like a lot of time, a lot of build up, lots of tactile "stuff" to build up to the main event.
*hides profile
Thanks SB it’s really good that we can express these things. I think we can help others who are worrying about it silently
Absolutely. I know one day it's not going to happen at all, no matter how hard I/we try.
Thankfully on those occasions when I've not got full wood I've been with a really understanding partner and we've still had a good time.
Albeit eventually.
One of the reasons I don't rush into meets. Got to make exactly the right connection with the right person.
Nothing boils my piss more than seeing threads where a couple (it's usually a couple) belittling a meet for not getting it up.
"
I hate those threads too.
I'm no good in heat for anything. Air con in clubs and hotels should be mandatory. |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"It happened to me on my 2nd ever meet (not through Fab). I had met the bloke twice before socially. He started trying to fuck me , stopped, lay on top of me for 5 minutes , then he announced it wasn't working , told me to get dressed, then stood down the bottom of the stairs making it clear he wanted me to leave. I left. I kinda thought we could have coffee instead but he just slung me out.
Xx
"
Not on a meet! There are so many other things you can do that are just as enjoyable for both of you. And a bit of that might get the rest going.
In a club I'd feel differently - if I can't give her what she wants, she might be better off getting someone else. But if there's no one else around, it's only polite to do the best you can with what you've got.
These things happen to all of us at some point. |
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When it’s happened to people I’ve met, the worst thing you can do is focus on it.
So grab a drink, have a chat, a laugh and a flirt and let nature take its course and if it doesn’t, it’s no biggie, there is always the morning |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When it’s happened to people I’ve met, the worst thing you can do is focus on it.
So grab a drink, have a chat, a laugh and a flirt and let nature take its course and if it doesn’t, it’s no biggie, there is always the morning "
Not if you meet during the day |
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"When it’s happened to people I’ve met, the worst thing you can do is focus on it.
So grab a drink, have a chat, a laugh and a flirt and let nature take its course and if it doesn’t, it’s no biggie, there is always the morning
Not if you meet during the day "
Well I’ve never done a daytime meet only over nighters. However there is still plenty of chill time in a day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When it’s happened to people I’ve met, the worst thing you can do is focus on it.
So grab a drink, have a chat, a laugh and a flirt and let nature take its course and if it doesn’t, it’s no biggie, there is always the morning
Not if you meet during the day
Well I’ve never done a daytime meet only over nighters. However there is still plenty of chill time in a day "
Of course |
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Yes I can confirm I once had problems...
Had no explanation.. was really into lady really keyed up prior to.
Have to say the lady was an angel, really understanding as no doubt was frustrated.
We just chatted and had a giggle about it.
Shit happens...
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"There was one time where we literally tried everything, but could I get it up, could I heck as like. Let just say my fingers saved me that day, lol.
Anywho, this is a question to the fellas who out there has failed to maintain or even get an erection on a meet. What was the reason and why ?
At the risk of committing Forum Meet Fabicide.......
Not and out and out not got wood; a couple of times in clubs it's been so hot it's exhausting.
I don't function well at anything in the heat, let alone having the sex.
We gave up, retired to our air conditioned hotel room and had a great time.
I do get anxious sometimes though, I suffer from high blood pressure and that makes things a challenge occasionally.
Trouble is, performance anxiety can be a self fulfilling prophesy.
I like a lot of time, a lot of build up, lots of tactile "stuff" to build up to the main event.
*hides profile
Thanks SB it’s really good that we can express these things. I think we can help others who are worrying about it silently
Absolutely. I know one day it's not going to happen at all, no matter how hard I/we try.
Thankfully on those occasions when I've not got full wood I've been with a really understanding partner and we've still had a good time.
Albeit eventually.
One of the reasons I don't rush into meets. Got to make exactly the right connection with the right person.
Nothing boils my piss more than seeing threads where a couple (it's usually a couple) belittling a meet for not getting it up.
It certainly doesn’t help those who struggle for sure. It doesn’t piss me off more feel sad about their lack of sensitivity "
Definitely a lack of sensitivity.
I do wonder how they'll feel when it happens to them.
And it surely will at some point.
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In the words of Forest Gump “It Happens”.
Yes I’ve had it happen. At the time I felt embarrassed, inadequate, frustrated and a failure for letting the couple down ‘literally’.
I questioned myself for a bit but came to the conclusion that I had no idea why  Hence “It Happens”. |
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