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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all,
I don’t really have anyone else to talk to apart from doughnut but I’m feeling really teary tonight, 2 years ago tomorrow my best friend died and tonight is the last time I spoke to her, around about this time when she was saying goodbye to me (I didn’t know that at the time) and I’m finding it very tough.
I know it gets easier over time and it’s days like today and tomorrow I get really emotional and I never want to burden anyone I know to be ‘that person still harping on about it’, just wanted to write something and get it off my chest if that’s ok?
Much love to you all xx
Danish x |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
Awwww sending you lots of hugs. Tell us something wonderful about her, something uniquely her (if you’d like). I think what’s often really tough is we don’t really get to talk about people we’ve lost so much.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Awwww sending you lots of hugs. Tell us something wonderful about her, something uniquely her (if you’d like). I think what’s often really tough is we don’t really get to talk about people we’ve lost so much. "
She was absolutely beautiful and she never ever loved herself, she had the biggest smile and heart of gold, she loved a drink and would always spill her wine and smoke like dot cotton when she had one too many, every special occasion we have a drink on the table, just for her and take it in turns at the end of the night to spill some.
She had a bucket list in her funeral book and I’ve ticked some off and last weekend for her birthday (that was 1st June) I drank cocktails all day, just like she wanted, ok it was meant to be on the beach and I managed it almost so that’s another thing off the list x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Getting sad is understandable
As long as it's a wave and it passes, you're doing just fine
My friend died 8 years ago now and I miss him like fuck every day
He was a gem
I hold on to the good times, he was supremely clever, toe curlingly eccentric and just piss funny
He left an impression on my life for sure
I wouldn't be where I'm at today without him
So, think about the fun times, what you did for each other and how your lives enriched each other
Don't mourn the future that you never had together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sending huge huggles your way
She sounds like a womderful person, you were both lucky to have known each other.
I honestly believe those we love are always with us in some way, when you miss her, talk to her, she can still hear you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Big hugs sweetheart we never really get over the loss of loosing some one close we just learn to live with out them it’s hard am not guna lie but your not alone hugs
Mrscxxx |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Awwww sending you lots of hugs. Tell us something wonderful about her, something uniquely her (if you’d like). I think what’s often really tough is we don’t really get to talk about people we’ve lost so much.
She was absolutely beautiful and she never ever loved herself, she had the biggest smile and heart of gold, she loved a drink and would always spill her wine and smoke like dot cotton when she had one too many, every special occasion we have a drink on the table, just for her and take it in turns at the end of the night to spill some.
She had a bucket list in her funeral book and I’ve ticked some off and last weekend for her birthday (that was 1st June) I drank cocktails all day, just like she wanted, ok it was meant to be on the beach and I managed it almost so that’s another thing off the list x"
She sounds a lot of fun. Have you dealt with the anger/frustration that losing someone close causes? Anger at them, I mean? Anger at the world (or whatever) for taking them? I sometimes cry the most when I’m angry. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Awwww sending you lots of hugs. Tell us something wonderful about her, something uniquely her (if you’d like). I think what’s often really tough is we don’t really get to talk about people we’ve lost so much.
She was absolutely beautiful and she never ever loved herself, she had the biggest smile and heart of gold, she loved a drink and would always spill her wine and smoke like dot cotton when she had one too many, every special occasion we have a drink on the table, just for her and take it in turns at the end of the night to spill some.
She had a bucket list in her funeral book and I’ve ticked some off and last weekend for her birthday (that was 1st June) I drank cocktails all day, just like she wanted, ok it was meant to be on the beach and I managed it almost so that’s another thing off the list x
She sounds a lot of fun. Have you dealt with the anger/frustration that losing someone close causes? Anger at them, I mean? Anger at the world (or whatever) for taking them? I sometimes cry the most when I’m angry. "
Not really, I’ve never got angry with her as I understood her reasons for not wanting to be here anymore, I get sad that she died thinking she was ugly, I get sad that she never spoke to me about any of the things that she felt like she couldn’t be here anymore for, I sometimes berate myself (if that’s the right word) that I wasn’t a better friend and picked up on all the things and maybe I could have helped her.
I only ever get upset when it’s an anniversary or something that I know we would have had a right giggle over x |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Awwww sending you lots of hugs. Tell us something wonderful about her, something uniquely her (if you’d like). I think what’s often really tough is we don’t really get to talk about people we’ve lost so much.
She was absolutely beautiful and she never ever loved herself, she had the biggest smile and heart of gold, she loved a drink and would always spill her wine and smoke like dot cotton when she had one too many, every special occasion we have a drink on the table, just for her and take it in turns at the end of the night to spill some.
She had a bucket list in her funeral book and I’ve ticked some off and last weekend for her birthday (that was 1st June) I drank cocktails all day, just like she wanted, ok it was meant to be on the beach and I managed it almost so that’s another thing off the list x
She sounds a lot of fun. Have you dealt with the anger/frustration that losing someone close causes? Anger at them, I mean? Anger at the world (or whatever) for taking them? I sometimes cry the most when I’m angry.
Not really, I’ve never got angry with her as I understood her reasons for not wanting to be here anymore, I get sad that she died thinking she was ugly, I get sad that she never spoke to me about any of the things that she felt like she couldn’t be here anymore for, I sometimes berate myself (if that’s the right word) that I wasn’t a better friend and picked up on all the things and maybe I could have helped her.
I only ever get upset when it’s an anniversary or something that I know we would have had a right giggle over x"
People are very, very adept at hiding things, don’t berate yourself - it’s unlikely something she’d want you to do. Use that knowledge now though, start conversations with your nearest and dearest and ask about and talk about the lows people can feel that can take someone to that place of feeling it’s the right step for them.
Sending you love. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don’t berate yourself.
As has been said before, people are great at hiding their plans.
My dad killed himself (20 years ago). With hindsight there were a couple of hints, but hindsight is not much use.
Just think about the good times, I do. It helps a little
Big hugs xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sadly you cannot change what has passed but you can honour her by treasuring your years of memories... Think of the fun times as well as the deeply touching times
The native Americans do not believe in 'death' just a change of worlds. Warm vibes your way OP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven’t personally lost someone that close to me, but I have been through some stuff and currently still healing and on anti d’s, the process can be a long one and obviously you won’t forget them but the pain will disappear , the way I would like to look at it is think of all the good times together , and not on the negative , they would not want you to be sad but to celebrate they’re life , I know this is a site for swinging and everything but if you want to get things off your chest with someone you don’t know don’t hesitate to ask for my kik or something , hugs to you x |
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"Hi all,
I don’t really have anyone else to talk to apart from doughnut but I’m feeling really teary tonight, 2 years ago tomorrow my best friend died and tonight is the last time I spoke to her, around about this time when she was saying goodbye to me (I didn’t know that at the time) and I’m finding it very tough.
I know it gets easier over time and it’s days like today and tomorrow I get really emotional and I never want to burden anyone I know to be ‘that person still harping on about it’, just wanted to write something and get it off my chest if that’s ok?
Much love to you all xx
Danish x"
Its never that easy when you lose loved ones best friends etc their memory will always be with you they would probably want you to live your life to the fullest cos my god it can be a short one my regards to your lose  |
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"Awwww sending you lots of hugs. Tell us something wonderful about her, something uniquely her (if you’d like). I think what’s often really tough is we don’t really get to talk about people we’ve lost so much.
She was absolutely beautiful and she never ever loved herself, she had the biggest smile and heart of gold, she loved a drink and would always spill her wine and smoke like dot cotton when she had one too many, every special occasion we have a drink on the table, just for her and take it in turns at the end of the night to spill some.
She had a bucket list in her funeral book and I’ve ticked some off and last weekend for her birthday (that was 1st June) I drank cocktails all day, just like she wanted, ok it was meant to be on the beach and I managed it almost so that’s another thing off the list x
She sounds a lot of fun. Have you dealt with the anger/frustration that losing someone close causes? Anger at them, I mean? Anger at the world (or whatever) for taking them? I sometimes cry the most when I’m angry.
Not really, I’ve never got angry with her as I understood her reasons for not wanting to be here anymore, I get sad that she died thinking she was ugly, I get sad that she never spoke to me about any of the things that she felt like she couldn’t be here anymore for, I sometimes berate myself (if that’s the right word) that I wasn’t a better friend and picked up on all the things and maybe I could have helped her.
I only ever get upset when it’s an anniversary or something that I know we would have had a right giggle over x
People are very, very adept at hiding things, don’t berate yourself - it’s unlikely something she’d want you to do. Use that knowledge now though, start conversations with your nearest and dearest and ask about and talk about the lows people can feel that can take someone to that place of feeling it’s the right step for them.
Sending you love. X"
I agree with this comment so much. I lost my daughter on June 4th years ago and basically followed much of the advice above. Make your own path but ensure there is both a beginning and an end. Hard to start with but I’m sure you will come out the other side. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
Awwwww, of course it's ok to mention it on here. Fabbers can be really supportive, as this thread shows.
My friend had a stroke about 5 years ago, she was 43 at the time. Another friend phoned me and my heart sank when she said she had some bad news. I don't know how I'd deal with losing any of my besties to be honest with you. It must be really heartbreaking.
Sorry, I know that's no help at all x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Awwwww, of course it's ok to mention it on here. Fabbers can be really supportive, as this thread shows.
My friend had a stroke about 5 years ago, she was 43 at the time. Another friend phoned me and my heart sank when she said she had some bad news. I don't know how I'd deal with losing any of my besties to be honest with you. It must be really heartbreaking.
Sorry, I know that's no help at all x"
strange how a thread on a swingers site can recover your faith in humanity , this is amazing the amount of people responding however they help |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Awwwww, of course it's ok to mention it on here. Fabbers can be really supportive, as this thread shows.
My friend had a stroke about 5 years ago, she was 43 at the time. Another friend phoned me and my heart sank when she said she had some bad news. I don't know how I'd deal with losing any of my besties to be honest with you. It must be really heartbreaking.
Sorry, I know that's no help at all x strange how a thread on a swingers site can recover your faith in humanity , this is amazing the amount of people responding however they help "
And this is why I felt ‘safe’ to post this here.
Thank you all for your comments, I’m feeling a little better, just got to get through tomorrow now xx |
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"Awwwww, of course it's ok to mention it on here. Fabbers can be really supportive, as this thread shows.
My friend had a stroke about 5 years ago, she was 43 at the time. Another friend phoned me and my heart sank when she said she had some bad news. I don't know how I'd deal with losing any of my besties to be honest with you. It must be really heartbreaking.
Sorry, I know that's no help at all x strange how a thread on a swingers site can recover your faith in humanity , this is amazing the amount of people responding however they help "
People on here are just people at the end of the day. Probably a lot more genuine and honest i will say than ‘some’ people you may meet. Good luck with all that you face.
K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is no time limit on grief, no calendar on pain or that sense of loss. Time doesnt always heal, it just creates distance and with time it may become easier to remember the happy times without that stabbing ache in your heart. Yet no matter how much time passes, some days that ache will return, a thought, memory, a comment, something random that you wont realise triggering the past that never quite goes away.
Today, may be such a day, tomorrow I hope you can remember your friend fondly, without the hurt. After all friends, here it gone, always want the best for us.
I hope today you find your peace. x |
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