FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why do good guys always finish last??
Why do good guys always finish last??
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nah mate
I’m the goodest guy I know and I always finish first.
Loudly.
Lots of it.
In the face or tits.
Ahhhhhhhhhh  (cumface)
Finishing before anyone else starts is unfortunate."
Don’t bring your chess skills (or lack of) into this stelly. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Nah mate
I’m the goodest guy I know and I always finish first.
Loudly.
Lots of it.
In the face or tits.
Ahhhhhhhhhh (cumface)
Finishing before anyone else starts is unfortunate.
Don’t bring your chess skills (or lack of) into this stelly."
Ahhhh I’m debating the Sokolsky or the Larsen’s opening for you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In what way might this statement actually play out. I need examples please.
"
most women not all but generally my age group go for the bad boy type over a gentlemen x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In what way might this statement actually play out. I need examples please.
most women not all but generally my age group go for the bad boy type over a gentlemen x"
I disagree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In what way might this statement actually play out. I need examples please.
most women not all but generally my age group go for the bad boy type over a gentlemen x"
So define bad boy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In what way might this statement actually play out. I need examples please.
most women not all but generally my age group go for the bad boy type over a gentlemen x
Oh god that cliché. "
OK well a different one could be a millionaire with the personality of a ironing board or an average working class.. What would you go for |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"In what way might this statement actually play out. I need examples please.
most women not all but generally my age group go for the bad boy type over a gentlemen x"
I have occasionally wondered if there’s sometimes an element of denial when men say it’s because I’m a good guy blah blah, can she simply not fancy you? Not everyone fancies everyone - sometimes it’s nothing to do with being a bad guy over a good guy, sometimes it’s actually an interesting and attractive and compatible (to her) guy versus simply one who is not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In what way might this statement actually play out. I need examples please.
most women not all but generally my age group go for the bad boy type over a gentlemen x
I have occasionally wondered if there’s sometimes an element of denial when men say it’s because I’m a good guy blah blah, can she simply not fancy you? Not everyone fancies everyone - sometimes it’s nothing to do with being a bad guy over a good guy, sometimes it’s actually an interesting and attractive and compatible (to her) guy versus simply one who is not."
It’s like the ‘friendzone’  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know quite a few women who are dating men who treat them like shite.
They don't seem to want a respectable man who would do anything for them.
I sometimes think to my self the worser you are to some people, the better you are treated.  |
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Guys who are doormats finish last. On a number of occasions in conversation to me, women have sneered that their partner "does everything I say". All divorced their partners. So chaps, say no now and again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know quite a few women who are dating men who treat them like shite.
They don't seem to want a respectable man who would do anything for them.
I sometimes think to my self the worser you are to some people, the better you are treated. "
People who are in relationships who are being treated or treating like shite aren't to be envied. Its not a healthy aspiration  |
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"In what way might this statement actually play out. I need examples please.
most women not all but generally my age group go for the bad boy type over a gentlemen x
Oh god that cliché. OK well a different one could be a millionaire with the personality of a ironing board or an average working class.. What would you go for "
I'm an individual who'd make my choices based on specifics. But if it's someone who's bad with a lot of money or good without, I'd go for the good person. Because I'm a person not a cartoon villain to satisfy people who would rather blame others for their own unhappiness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know quite a few women who are dating men who treat them like shite.
They don't seem to want a respectable man who would do anything for them.
I sometimes think to my self the worser you are to some people, the better you are treated.
People who are in relationships who are being treated or treating like shite aren't to be envied. Its not a healthy aspiration "
I don't envy them. I'm just saying it how I see it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nah mate
I’m the goodest guy I know and I always finish first.
Loudly.
Lots of it.
In the face or tits.
Ahhhhhhhhhh (cumface)
Finishing before anyone else starts is unfortunate.
Don’t bring your chess skills (or lack of) into this stelly.
Ahhhh I’m debating the Sokolsky or the Larsen’s opening for you. "
Go on then pour me a double
I like the vodka, I’ve been mistaken for a Russian more than once... it’s the big nose I think |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know quite a few women who are dating men who treat them like shite.
They don't seem to want a respectable man who would do anything for them.
I sometimes think to my self the worser you are to some people, the better you are treated.
People who are in relationships who are being treated or treating like shite aren't to be envied. Its not a healthy aspiration
I don't envy them. I'm just saying it how I see it. "
Well believe me you are seeing it all wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know quite a few women who are dating men who treat them like shite.
They don't seem to want a respectable man who would do anything for them.
I sometimes think to my self the worser you are to some people, the better you are treated. "
They have choices. But sometimes escaping an abusive relationship isn't easy. It also seems you are judging others relationships from outside, and with your own preconceptions.
How can you really know what goes on in anothers life? |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"In what way might this statement actually play out. I need examples please.
most women not all but generally my age group go for the bad boy type over a gentlemen x
I have occasionally wondered if there’s sometimes an element of denial when men say it’s because I’m a good guy blah blah, can she simply not fancy you? Not everyone fancies everyone - sometimes it’s nothing to do with being a bad guy over a good guy, sometimes it’s actually an interesting and attractive and compatible (to her) guy versus simply one who is not."
Watch out, Estella is in sensible mode!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know quite a few women who are dating men who treat them like shite.
They don't seem to want a respectable man who would do anything for them.
I sometimes think to my self the worser you are to some people, the better you are treated.
People who are in relationships who are being treated or treating like shite aren't to be envied. Its not a healthy aspiration
I don't envy them. I'm just saying it how I see it.
Well believe me you are seeing it all wrong. "
Be nice to people and they will walk all over you. Be a cunt to them and you may get some respect.
No that I be nasty to anyone, but I believe this is true to a certain extent. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know quite a few women who are dating men who treat them like shite.
They don't seem to want a respectable man who would do anything for them.
I sometimes think to my self the worser you are to some people, the better you are treated.
They have choices. But sometimes escaping an abusive relationship isn't easy. It also seems you are judging others relationships from outside, and with your own preconceptions.
How can you really know what goes on in anothers life?"
I've seen and heard enough. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think human interaction is complex and chemistry is difficult to define and is different for everyone. Everyone is a combination of good and bad traits. Good guys have bad traits just as bad guys have good traits. Just the balance may be different. Who someone fancies is based on how they experience the chemistry with that other person, the experiences they have when they interact with them and are with them and how it connects to deep seated needs in each individual.
In the main those who are more successful are confident in themselves and have a way of connecting with others needs, those that are less successful haven’t found a way to do that yet.
I’m more successful in being seen as a friend than being desired, however I’m not sure what sort of concept of friendship that is. In the end I have to accept I’m only compatible with a few people. Maybe I’ll find them, maybe I won’t be successful in finding them, but the only person who can do change it is me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe your confusing good with boring"
I don’t necessarily think it’s boring, I think it’s more a case of nice guy but there’s no chemistry. You see it dating shows all the time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I know quite a few women who are dating men who treat them like shite.
They don't seem to want a respectable man who would do anything for them.
I sometimes think to my self the worser you are to some people, the better you are treated.
People who are in relationships who are being treated or treating like shite aren't to be envied. Its not a healthy aspiration
I don't envy them. I'm just saying it how I see it.
Well believe me you are seeing it all wrong.
Be nice to people and they will walk all over you. Be a cunt to them and you may get some respect.
No that I be nasty to anyone, but I believe this is true to a certain extent. "
You may get what you percieve as respect but it wont be true respect, it will be borne of fear or loathing. Much better to just be good? if that means your considered boring I would choose boring over cunt any day of the week personally |
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"I think human interaction is complex and chemistry is difficult to define and is different for everyone. Everyone is a combination of good and bad traits. Good guys have bad traits just as bad guys have good traits. Just the balance may be different. Who someone fancies is based on how they experience the chemistry with that other person, the experiences they have when they interact with them and are with them and how it connects to deep seated needs in each individual.
In the main those who are more successful are confident in themselves and have a way of connecting with others needs, those that are less successful haven’t found a way to do that yet.
I’m more successful in being seen as a friend than being desired, however I’m not sure what sort of concept of friendship that is. In the end I have to accept I’m only compatible with a few people. Maybe I’ll find them, maybe I won’t be successful in finding them, but the only person who can do change it is me."
This is wise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think human interaction is complex and chemistry is difficult to define and is different for everyone. Everyone is a combination of good and bad traits. Good guys have bad traits just as bad guys have good traits. Just the balance may be different. Who someone fancies is based on how they experience the chemistry with that other person, the experiences they have when they interact with them and are with them and how it connects to deep seated needs in each individual.
In the main those who are more successful are confident in themselves and have a way of connecting with others needs, those that are less successful haven’t found a way to do that yet.
I’m more successful in being seen as a friend than being desired, however I’m not sure what sort of concept of friendship that is. In the end I have to accept I’m only compatible with a few people. Maybe I’ll find them, maybe I won’t be successful in finding them, but the only person who can do change it is me.
This is wise. "
Thanks. It was learned through the ups and downs of my life and as learn a bit more each day from each experience with another person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know quite a few women who are dating men who treat them like shite.
They don't seem to want a respectable man who would do anything for them.
I sometimes think to my self the worser you are to some people, the better you are treated.
People who are in relationships who are being treated or treating like shite aren't to be envied. Its not a healthy aspiration
I don't envy them. I'm just saying it how I see it.
Well believe me you are seeing it all wrong.
Be nice to people and they will walk all over you. Be a cunt to them and you may get some respect.
No that I be nasty to anyone, but I believe this is true to a certain extent. "
That’s a very distorted black and white view of successful human relating and is not borne out by research. Co-dependencecan cause unhealthy ways of relating like you describe but healthy human relationships don’t function like that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know quite a few women who are dating men who treat them like shite.
They don't seem to want a respectable man who would do anything for them.
I sometimes think to my self the worser you are to some people, the better you are treated.
People who are in relationships who are being treated or treating like shite aren't to be envied. Its not a healthy aspiration
I don't envy them. I'm just saying it how I see it.
Well believe me you are seeing it all wrong.
Be nice to people and they will walk all over you. Be a cunt to them and you may get some respect.
No that I be nasty to anyone, but I believe this is true to a certain extent.
That’s a very distorted black and white view of successful human relating and is not borne out by research. Co-depends can cause unhealthy ways of relating like you describe but healthy human relationships don’t function like that"
It is a really horrible way to look at human interaction, wrong in so many ways |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women are just as complicated as men, with our own inner thoughts, desires, idiosyncrasies. We don't owe you logic, nor you us. "
So true too. Logic has only small part to play in it
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know quite a few women who are dating men who treat them like shite.
They don't seem to want a respectable man who would do anything for them.
I sometimes think to my self the worser you are to some people, the better you are treated.
People who are in relationships who are being treated or treating like shite aren't to be envied. Its not a healthy aspiration
I don't envy them. I'm just saying it how I see it.
Well believe me you are seeing it all wrong.
Be nice to people and they will walk all over you. Be a cunt to them and you may get some respect.
No that I be nasty to anyone, but I believe this is true to a certain extent.
That’s a very distorted black and white view of successful human relating and is not borne out by research. Co-depends can cause unhealthy ways of relating like you describe but healthy human relationships don’t function like that
It is a really horrible way to look at human interaction, wrong in so many ways "
Sadly sometimes the way we interpret our experiences and the glasses we use to view those experiences leads to a limiting set of beliefs. |
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"I think human interaction is complex and chemistry is difficult to define and is different for everyone. Everyone is a combination of good and bad traits. Good guys have bad traits just as bad guys have good traits. Just the balance may be different. Who someone fancies is based on how they experience the chemistry with that other person, the experiences they have when they interact with them and are with them and how it connects to deep seated needs in each individual.
In the main those who are more successful are confident in themselves and have a way of connecting with others needs, those that are less successful haven’t found a way to do that yet.
I’m more successful in being seen as a friend than being desired, however I’m not sure what sort of concept of friendship that is. In the end I have to accept I’m only compatible with a few people. Maybe I’ll find them, maybe I won’t be successful in finding them, but the only person who can do change it is me."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think there's a bit of good and bad in all of us. If good means appearing nice 100% of the time and in everyone's eyes then I don't think good could exist!
I expect most guys who lose out on a girl to another guy would consider the other guy to be "bad" , simply in order to help themselves feel "good"....
Steve x 
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"Am I right lady's?? "
Women will always say they want someone honest and genuine. But give them a choice and they’ll pick the bad boy every time.
So yes, I’d say good guys will always finish last  |
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"Am I right lady's?? "
No I don’t believe good guys finish last. No more than I believe they finish first.. I believe it’s all about the combination.
You can have a good guy and a woman who takes advantage of that.
You can also have a good guy with a woman who respects that and enjoys his qualities.
You can have a bad guy and a weak or strong minded woman that will obviously make the difference on the effects.
Long and short there’s no such thing as a bad woman or a bad guy or even a good guy and a good woman ONLY GOOD AND BAD COMBINATIONS  |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Am I right lady's??
Women will always say they want someone honest and genuine. But give them a choice and they’ll pick the bad boy every time.
So yes, I’d say good guys will always finish last "
Bit of a generalisation there, most women don't, I'm sure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, simply not true.
I will however say that often on here I've seen the term 'nice' used as a vague term, often as a last refuge of guys trying to convince a lady to sleep with them; "why won't you sleep with me? I'm nice"
Being nice doesn't trump a person's preference, nor, if it's the only thing that you have going for you, is it going to get you anything.
It's perfectly possible to treat a person with respect, behave honourably and well, be kind to puppies, etc, and to also be smart, funny and a whole host of other positive personality traits.
To me, selling yourself as being 'nice' is a bit like selling a car by saying it has wheels; it should go without saying. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Good guys finish last" - the phrase rolled out so often, especially on here to explain a perceived lack of "success" and neatly blame others for that perception to make the user of the phrase feel better about themselves.
Simple fact of the matter is attraction is not a competition, nor is Fab, there are no good guys or bad guys only individuals and each has it within their own hands to make the best of their experience (whether that be of Fab or life in general) that they can.
Be true to yourself, listen to advice given, and find what works for you and whilst there will be instances in life where others may impact your experience, Fab, for the most part, isn't one of them. |
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By *eclanHMan
over a year ago
Liphook |
"No, simply not true.
I will however say that often on here I've seen the term 'nice' used as a vague term, often as a last refuge of guys trying to convince a lady to sleep with them; "why won't you sleep with me? I'm nice"
Being nice doesn't trump a person's preference, nor, if it's the only thing that you have going for you, is it going to get you anything.
It's perfectly possible to treat a person with respect, behave honourably and well, be kind to puppies, etc, and to also be smart, funny and a whole host of other positive personality traits.
To me, selling yourself as being 'nice' is a bit like selling a car by saying it has wheels; it should go without saying. "
Agreed. Nice often turns out to be not nice, especially when rejected. And so-called ‘bad boys’ may have a better grasp of consent and decency. Or am I wrong there? Anyway, it’s the bare fucking minimal, nice. What else do you have to offer than people a decent human being, like most everyone else.
I think |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Good guys finish last" - the phrase rolled out so often, especially on here to explain a perceived lack of "success" and neatly blame others for that perception to make the user of the phrase feel better about themselves.
Simple fact of the matter is attraction is not a competition, nor is Fab, there are no good guys or bad guys only individuals and each has it within their own hands to make the best of their experience (whether that be of Fab or life in general) that they can.
Be true to yourself, listen to advice given, and find what works for you and whilst there will be instances in life where others may impact your experience, Fab, for the most part, isn't one of them."
I try tell men that 
It’s like the whole ‘I’m clean and friendly’ thing. Okay? That should be a given, surely?! You’re not going to get bonus points for showering |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Good guys finish last" - the phrase rolled out so often, especially on here to explain a perceived lack of "success" and neatly blame others for that perception to make the user of the phrase feel better about themselves.
Simple fact of the matter is attraction is not a competition, nor is Fab, there are no good guys or bad guys only individuals and each has it within their own hands to make the best of their experience (whether that be of Fab or life in general) that they can.
Be true to yourself, listen to advice given, and find what works for you and whilst there will be instances in life where others may impact your experience, Fab, for the most part, isn't one of them."
You put that much better than I was about to
Thanks Gem, you might have just saved me some time of the naughty step  |
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It often boils down to this.
Some guys assume that if they're nice, they're owed attention and sex. So they're friendly, but it's fake or there's no substance or personality behind it. Which is shallow and unattractive. So women go for people they find attractive.
If people would just be themselves and realise that we like who we like and no one owes you sex, everyone would be happier. |
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By *eclanHMan
over a year ago
Liphook |
"It often boils down to this.
Some guys assume that if they're nice, they're owed attention and sex. So they're friendly, but it's fake or there's no substance or personality behind it. Which is shallow and unattractive. So women go for people they find attractive.
If people would just be themselves and realise that we like who we like and no one owes you sex, everyone would be happier. "
That’s well put. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd rather someone was a genuinely decent human than 'nice'
Nice can be falsified, nice can be subjective.
Nice guys are awesome, if they're genuinely decent humans and have more than 'nice' going for them
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It often boils down to this.
Some guys assume that if they're nice, they're owed attention and sex. So they're friendly, but it's fake or there's no substance or personality behind it. Which is shallow and unattractive. So women go for people they find attractive.
If people would just be themselves and realise that we like who we like and no one owes you sex, everyone would be happier. "
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"Same as when people say they're genuine. Well Harold Shipman wasn't a fucking hologram, he was a genuine doctor and look how that turned out.
P"
It's the bare minimum, really. Please give me this £100k job, I'm actually a person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In what way might this statement actually play out. I need examples please.
most women not all but generally my age group go for the bad boy type over a gentlemen x"
And how does that equate to coming last? Because you don't get to shag shallow people? If they are your standards you maybe need to raise them! |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"I know quite a few women who are dating men who treat them like shite.
They don't seem to want a respectable man who would do anything for them."
Do you know how the relationship in the first paragraph started? It started like the second.
(OK, that's a gross generalisation and I have no idea how often it's true. But I have seen similar things too many times. Anyway...)
The second paragraph sounds like a desperate man. There's nothing like desperation to make a woman run. A desperate man will present himself as whatever he believes a woman will want, and that is never his true self. If some poor woman is fooled, then sooner or later complacency takes over and the real man comes out.
I consider myself a decent person. I can be kind and generous and intelligent and funny (if you have a matching sense of humour). I can also be forgetful, thoughtless and selfish. Because I'm human. I don't pretend to be something that I'm not. It's working OK for me.
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"Am I right lady's?? "
20 years ago I would have agreed with you. I (Luke) am a quintessential "nice guy". I'm respectful, non-pushy and always try to keep people happy. In my teens and 20s women just didn't seem interested.
Then in my late 30s something happened. I went to swingers clubs as a single man and got lucky every time. I found a swinging partner through an entirely different route and was with her for a year before her life circumstances changed, and then found another afterwards. I learned how to be damn good in the sack. I got lucky on Tinder. I've had an ffm threesome and carried out some big fantasies.
The icing on the cake is meeting Hannah last year who is my soul mate and we are in love. We see eye to eye on many things including sex, and we are now exploring our fantasies together as partners, and I have never been happier.
I'd say now that, as a nice guy, I'm one of luckiest men around. None if that would have happened if I hadn't been so nice. |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"It often boils down to this.
Some guys assume that if they're nice, they're owed attention and sex. So they're friendly, but it's fake or there's no substance or personality behind it. Which is shallow and unattractive. So women go for people they find attractive.
If people would just be themselves and realise that we like who we like and no one owes you sex, everyone would be happier.
"
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