FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > let's have some top fab tips from successful fab men!
let's have some top fab tips from successful fab men!
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Don't you get a bit sick of reading all the threads from guys whining about no meets and how women are treating them like the lowest of the low unless they are apparently black with a 6 pack ( obviously a very misguided attitude.). How do successful meeters get started on here? And what are your best tips? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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6ft 2
18 stone. Only 6 pack I'll ever have is beers.
I'm just me. Be yourself. Word your message to the profile. Never double message or hassle. Go to a club and be seen. Don't have a cock pic as your profile pic. Never struggled on fab, on this profile or my previous. |
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"6ft 2
18 stone. Only 6 pack I'll ever have is beers.
I'm just me. Be yourself. Word your message to the profile. Never double message or hassle. Go to a club and be seen. Don't have a cock pic as your profile pic. Never struggled on fab, on this profile or my previous."
See I knew the must have a 6 pack to be successful thing was a myth  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My only advice. Don't try and be attractive to everyone in your profile. You'll end up with a mundane watered down generic profile. Don't try and be everything others tell you you should be. If you can't work out how to message a stranger online without help, maybe this isn't for you. |
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My tip would be if you aren't having luck on here, don't start whining how fab women are all rude and up themselves for not answering messages, this attitude will not change things for the better, it will not get you sex!!! Alot of the time it is either because of the sheer volume of messages women get that they only answer messages that fit what they are looking for. You will not be everyone's cup of tea, accept it and find someone that is looking for what you can offer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"6ft 2
18 stone. Only 6 pack I'll ever have is beers.
I'm just me. Be yourself. Word your message to the profile. Never double message or hassle. Go to a club and be seen. Don't have a cock pic as your profile pic. Never struggled on fab, on this profile or my previous.
See I knew the must have a 6 pack to be successful thing was a myth "
I'm proof the dad bod can win.  |
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Be patient
Be thick skinned
Be lucky
Don't take yourself too seriously
Don't whine about lack of messages
Don't blame the actions of others as "timewasters" spoiling it for you
Be positive
Be prepared to put in a lot of work crafting your messages
Be lucky
Perseverance
Oh and be lucky  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't view women as sex vending machines who should be providing you a BJ/shag/orgy when you require it. We are not here to provide a service, go pay for it if that's what you require.
Oh and keep your boner photos off your profile too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't view women as sex vending machines who should be providing you a BJ/shag/orgy when you require it. We are not here to provide a service, go pay for it if that's what you require.
Oh and keep your boner photos off your profile too "
Wss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Remove the fab option of your pictures so if someone really appreciate it she will have to message you to let you know. Therefore she would have made the first contact
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be yourself
Be patient
Rejection is a fact of life so don’t be a dick about it
Go to clubs, talk to people, don’t just sit and leer
Fun is reciprocal ie don’t be a selfish lover
Hope that helps |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"6ft 2
18 stone. Only 6 pack I'll ever have is beers.
I'm just me. Be yourself. Word your message to the profile. Never double message or hassle. Go to a club and be seen. Don't have a cock pic as your profile pic. Never struggled on fab, on this profile or my previous.
See I knew the must have a 6 pack to be successful thing was a myth
I'm proof the dad bod can win. "
I actually find a dad bod attractive lol
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Try and message couples, or cheating wives / wives playing with permission. Purely single women don't seem to understand swinging. Plus are often mad as a bag of badgers. Hence single...
If all that fails "go ugly early". |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
A very simple three point plan that covers all bases - get these right and it won't guarantee a thing of course but it will make your experience of the site better...get them wrong and the likelihood is you'll find it hard going:
Attitude - be positive, accept that you won't be for everyone, be respectful and considerate of others at all times. Never see other users as "competition" or ruining it for you - the only person who can ruin it for you is you.
Approach - Firstly make sure you have an appealing profile and pics that reflect your personality and not what you think others want to hear. Then work out what works best for you, if sending messages "cold" is not working, look at other ways that might, that could be getting involved in the forums or chat rooms, or attending socials and clubs, or any number of other things.
Expectations - set them low, then turn them down another notch - just because this is a "sex site" doesn't mean the streets of Fab are lined with sex.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All the comments saying just be yourself... Clearly being themselves hasn't worked out that well for them if they are on the forum grumbling about not getting a meet   |
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"Try and message couples, or cheating wives / wives playing with permission. Purely single women don't seem to understand swinging. Plus are often mad as a bag of badgers. Hence single...
If all that fails "go ugly early". "
That’s quite some generalisation against single women ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All the comments saying just be yourself... Clearly being themselves hasn't worked out that well for them if they are on the forum grumbling about not getting a meet "
They need the tea theory |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All the comments saying just be yourself... Clearly being themselves hasn't worked out that well for them if they are on the forum grumbling about not getting a meet
They need the tea theory "
Word! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All the comments saying just be yourself... Clearly being themselves hasn't worked out that well for them if they are on the forum grumbling about not getting a meet "
in that case they should accept they're forever destined to fuck their hand. Or a watermelon |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All the comments saying just be yourself... Clearly being themselves hasn't worked out that well for them if they are on the forum grumbling about not getting a meet "
Maybe I should have said “be yourself unless you’re a total bell end”..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Try and message couples, or cheating wives / wives playing with permission. Purely single women don't seem to understand swinging. Plus are often mad as a bag of badgers. Hence single...
If all that fails "go ugly early".
That’s quite some generalisation against single women !"
you should see the generalisations against single men on here. They could have their own forum like the Lounge. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"6ft 2
18 stone. Only 6 pack I'll ever have is beers.
I'm just me. Be yourself. Word your message to the profile. Never double message or hassle. Go to a club and be seen. Don't have a cock pic as your profile pic. Never struggled on fab, on this profile or my previous."
This is a wise man and never ask ' am I that bad" if you're getting no where.
Also pics of nice hands helps, and be funny, not funny peculiar! |
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"All the comments saying just be yourself... Clearly being themselves hasn't worked out that well for them if they are on the forum grumbling about not getting a meet "
Most people will do OK if they show themselves as they are.
Problem is that cultivating an authentic persona takes a bit of work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All the comments saying just be yourself... Clearly being themselves hasn't worked out that well for them if they are on the forum grumbling about not getting a meet
Maybe I should have said “be yourself unless you’re a total bell end”....."
Nah, I'm just in a facetious mood this morning. I knew what you and others saying it meant |
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There are probably people - men and women - who need to work on themselves and whose true selves need work to be attractive.
Problem is, that's a horrifying thing to tell someone in any context, worse here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I use (a word I've had to take out as it apparently isn't allowed according to the Lilly livered forum rules). Works a treat (insert your own innofensive word)
Alternatively, just try and write a decent opening message rather than something generic or 'hi'.
Be prepared for not getting a reply.
I always send a second message (and only a second, never a third) if the first was unread when messaging single females as they get so many they often get missed. This has worked and doesn't look desperate if worded correctly.
Always have face pics in first message. No cock whatsoever. It's on my profile if they want to see it.
Don't punch above your weight unless you like a challenge or rejection. This is fab, you're heavily outnumbered by other men!
Try and be witty and spell correctly. Use the best English language you can.
This is just my opinion, but if you've not much to brag about, don't have it in 95-100% of your pics. I also know cum in pictures doesn't do it for a lot of people, so why bother?
Try and get verified - this is probably most important.
I can probably think of more... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All the comments saying just be yourself... Clearly being themselves hasn't worked out that well for them if they are on the forum grumbling about not getting a meet
Most people will do OK if they show themselves as they are.
Problem is that cultivating an authentic persona takes a bit of work. "
I really wasn't being serious here... obviously I need to dial back the authenticity |
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"All the comments saying just be yourself... Clearly being themselves hasn't worked out that well for them if they are on the forum grumbling about not getting a meet
Most people will do OK if they show themselves as they are.
Problem is that cultivating an authentic persona takes a bit of work.
I really wasn't being serious here... obviously I need to dial back the authenticity "
I saw your comment above after I posted my comment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are probably people - men and women - who need to work on themselves and whose true selves need work to be attractive.
Problem is, that's a horrifying thing to tell someone in any context, worse here. "
I disagree with this. Here's why
This fab swingers, this site isn't split equal.
In the real world this wouldn't be a thing on here it is
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My only advice. Don't try and be attractive to everyone in your profile. You'll end up with a mundane watered down generic profile. Don't try and be everything others tell you you should be. If you can't work out how to message a stranger online without help, maybe this isn't for you. "
I agree with this totally.
Tea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My only advice. Don't try and be attractive to everyone in your profile. You'll end up with a mundane watered down generic profile. Don't try and be everything others tell you you should be. If you can't work out how to message a stranger online without help, maybe this isn't for you.
I agree with this totally.
Tea"
I agree with this also.
My golden rule do not take fab seriously, remember this is suppose to be abit of fun. Not Britain's got talent |
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"There are probably people - men and women - who need to work on themselves and whose true selves need work to be attractive.
Problem is, that's a horrifying thing to tell someone in any context, worse here.
I disagree with this. Here's why
This fab swingers, this site isn't split equal.
In the real world this wouldn't be a thing on here it is
"
No I mean there are some people out there (a small minority) who need therapy or other very serious intervention to be sexually attractive, anywhere, to anyone.
But you don't tell people things like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are probably people - men and women - who need to work on themselves and whose true selves need work to be attractive.
Problem is, that's a horrifying thing to tell someone in any context, worse here.
I disagree with this. Here's why
This fab swingers, this site isn't split equal.
In the real world this wouldn't be a thing on here it is
No I mean there are some people out there (a small minority) who need therapy or other very serious intervention to be sexually attractive, anywhere, to anyone.
But you don't tell people things like that. "
OK I see your point.. True
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"6ft 2
18 stone. Only 6 pack I'll ever have is beers.
I'm just me. Be yourself. Word your message to the profile. Never double message or hassle. Go to a club and be seen. Don't have a cock pic as your profile pic. Never struggled on fab, on this profile or my previous."
All of the above except I’m only 6 foot! Be nice! Be normal think of it like a pub, would you show your knob or ask if she wants a fuck! And omg stop whining!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A phat tonic should complement n' not overpower, work wit tha spirit n' not against dat shit.
I be a phat mixer so I be holla'd at.
Part time fabber, hooked up so can't accommodate yo, but don't let dat put you off! Seekin thang dat leadz ta playtime rather than one off's, although mah playtime is scarce. I be just a aiiight muthafucka, pleasant ta know n' I try ta be a gentleman. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I aint lookin fo' anythang fucked up yo, but I be also not lookin fo' a strang of conquests.
I have had tha snip but still insist on playin safe at all times, I aint playin Russian Roulette wit mah playas!
Face pics can be exchanged once we git chattin but if you need ta peep a gangbangin' grill pic before chatting, I wish you well but I aint fo' you, biatch.
I be normally found on tha outskirtz of Belfast yo, but work do bust me across tha UK n' sometimes further afield. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! So if I do wink you, itz cuz I be likely ta be up in yo' area at some point.
A hood is required before even thankin bout anythang mo' intimate. Well shiiiit, it may be no strings attached but I don't subscribe ta any hole a goal.
Couplez is ghon be considered yo, but only sick considerate one's. If you just need a stunt ding-a-ling / struttin seal ta boost yo' ego's, I be tha wack muthafucka.
If you treat others as you wanna be treated, consider mah playas a equal n' can gotz a cold-ass lil chuckle along tha way, we'll git along fine!
Kool as fuck Fabbing!
Where n' how tha fuck I play:
***Uptown Ireland***
Afta nuff muthafuckin monthz of tryin ta catch peoplez eye, I aint what tha fuck playas is lookin for, so I be no longer lookin fo' local meets, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Message by all means but I won't be actively seekin anythang other than a cold-ass lil chat.
***Glasgow***
I git across once or twice a year so a gangbangin' thugged-out grill ta have dinner wit would be appreciated. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. Playtime aint essential but bein sane n' funk would be a funky-ass bonus. I can travel or accommodate up in a hotel then.
***London***
I'ma hook up playaz dat I have chatted wit whenever I be flyin up in n' up but I be stickin wit mah playaz list only. Well shiiiit, it aint fair ta add freshly smoked up playas on tha list when mah time is scarce. Playas I have verified will take prioritizzle as I already know dem wild-ass muthafuckas.
***Rest of tha UK***
I be bout ta wink if I be local, say hi n' advise me where tha dopest pubs n' clubs is
***Overseas***
Peep if I be near you n' say hi! |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
Send a face pic early in the convo. Most ladies are attracted by a face first, if its a no you haven't spent long talking so shouldn't feel too miffed about wasting your time.
Don't be pushy. If she says no don't send anymore messages, it makes you look needy. Don't ask for 'a chance' either, that's even worse.
Be normal. Don't talk about sex straight away or god forbid she'll think you're a right perv.
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"Don’t be a dick
This. ^
Seconded.
Although based on some responses, it’s also possible to be too ‘nice’."
My experience as a recipient, there's a lot of ways to do rude or horrifying. But nice can also be boring. Cut to the chase. Can I ask you a question? Just ask. I'd love to chat. About what? Polite in real life just reads generic and boring on here. |
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Never send a message after midnight.
Quit drinking ("my fella and I just wondered if you could come over tonight").
Patience will get you nowhere, Focus has rewards.
Post availability in advance via the meets section.
Use Fab as an addition to your life, not the whole of your life.
Ignore virtually all of the advice on the forums (including this)
If possible, accommodate, be truly single, don't smoke, be prepared to jump through hoops and understand that the numbers are not in your favour.
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"Don't you get a bit sick of reading all the threads from guys whining about no meets and how women are treating them like the lowest of the low unless they are apparently black with a 6 pack ( obviously a very misguided attitude.). How do successful meeters get started on here? And what are your best tips?"
Play to your strengths. Have a well written profile that gives off a positive vibe and would get people interested in meeting at least for a social. Tasteful and varied pics are usually appreciated. Use the forums. They're a good medium to begin chatting to people and help to build confidence here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"‘Be yourself!’
What if yourself is a knobhead? "
Then he's successfully making people aware he's a knobhead and giving people the info they need to decide if they want to meet him or not.
Success may not be measured in number of meets, it may also be measured in being true to yourself.
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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be witty charming polite respectful tall handsome dont even need to be slim as long as you can climb stairs without needing a rest halfway . dont think anyone has got more out of fab than I have lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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1) Your first message is crucial. They say first impressions last. As a rule I never say anything I wouldn't say to a person I just met in a bar.
2) Don't even mention sex until she does. Not even inuendo. If she's interested sex will come up soon enough. This includes pictures of a sexual nature.
3) Read her profile. Women are amazing. They give us guys all kinds of clues as to their likes and dislikes. They sometimes give great conversation starters.
4) Concentrate on what she wants. Not what you want. Trust me that if a woman is really attracted to you are going to get what you want whether you like it or not. But it starts by giving not demanding to receive.
5) Listen to her. This pertains to her replies (if you are so lucky) and if you meet her in person. Great convsationalists listen more than they speak.
6) Treat her like a person. (So sad it needs to be said) but manners and respect can get you just as far as a rippling 6 pack and 10 inch knob.
7) Look after yourself. We aren't all Brad Pitt but nothing stops you putting on some nice clothes, applying some personal hygiene, male grooming if it's applicable. Find a decent deodorant and aftershave (but don't bath in it!)
8) Be fun, lighthearted and humorous if you can. Be serious if she mentions her troubles though. If your profile solicits a giggle you're on the right track.
9) Don't expect her to do all the work. You are not the only guy on fab! What I mean by that is don't expect her to do the chasing and be the one always on the losing end of every interaction. Being prepared to pay for drinks etc goes a long way to making you more of a prince and less of a guy looking for a free hooker.
10) Use Gemini Man's green arrow and read every posting he makes. I've never read anything he says that wasn't well thought out, brilliantly articulated and bang on the money. If he wrote a book on how to be successful on fab I'd buy it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh ....
11) If she doesn't reply. Take the rejection on the chin like a man and move on. NEVER send a second message till you get a reply. Begging, demanding, pestering, bullying never got anyone anywhere but blocked.
12) Don't call a woman you don't know babe, sugar, sweetie etc. Wait for her to use a term of endearment like hun before you do. |
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I'm glad I'm not a guy on here it sounds like way to much hard work to even be seen. I know how I flick through my messages. Even if I open them the chances of responding are slim.. I feel your pain guys.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My head spinning with these rules 
Fair play to you sir
"
Maybe not see some of these as rules. Guidelines or things to try. See how it works for you.
I hate the idea of rules as every woman is different. You need to care enough to read the signals coming back.
I really loathe the "How to pick up chicks" approach. I think the friendship that can develop between swingers is the most beautiful aspect of swinging. But that's just me. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I'm glad I'm not a guy on here it sounds like way to much hard work to even be seen. I know how I flick through my messages. Even if I open them the chances of responding are slim.. I feel your pain guys.
"
The thing is though - if anyone (men or women) see it as "work" then it will be
Coming back to my post further up if part of your approach is more laid back with an "if it happens then it's a bonus" attitude, rather than "got to get a meet any meet", then you find how much more pleasurable the site becomes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm glad I'm not a guy on here it sounds like way to much hard work to even be seen. I know how I flick through my messages. Even if I open them the chances of responding are slim.. I feel your pain guys.
"
My view is that a lot of women who go out on meets go to a lot of trouble e.g. shave their legs, put on something nice, arrange a babysitter etc. The least a man can do is invest some time and put in some effort.
I don't see messaging women as hard work. I love the interaction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm glad I'm not a guy on here it sounds like way to much hard work to even be seen. I know how I flick through my messages. Even if I open them the chances of responding are slim.. I feel your pain guys.
The thing is though - if anyone (men or women) see it as "work" then it will be
Coming back to my post further up if part of your approach is more laid back with an "if it happens then it's a bonus" attitude, rather than "got to get a meet any meet", then you find how much more pleasurable the site becomes."
this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm glad I'm not a guy on here it sounds like way to much hard work to even be seen. I know how I flick through my messages. Even if I open them the chances of responding are slim.. I feel your pain guys.
"
It really isn’t that hard, most blokes just make it hard for themselves cause they’re clueless. |
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"I'm glad I'm not a guy on here it sounds like way to much hard work to even be seen. I know how I flick through my messages. Even if I open them the chances of responding are slim.. I feel your pain guys.
The thing is though - if anyone (men or women) see it as "work" then it will be
Coming back to my post further up if part of your approach is more laid back with an "if it happens then it's a bonus" attitude, rather than "got to get a meet any meet", then you find how much more pleasurable the site becomes."
My approach couldn't get more laid back. It's not work for me either. I listen to both sides and for some it gets to them enough to piss them off or make them feel 'bad'..I don't take it personally. I just see it as fab life.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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just act like you would trying to chat someone up at a bar. You wouldn’t talk straight away about sex. If you aren’t comfortable talking to women in a bar, you will fail here also.
When talking to couples, talk to both member of the couple. If you focus on one, you’ll anger the other. Treat women in the couple with respect or the fella will be removing your teeth.
Don’t be surprised if you have games played with you if you can’t behave yourselves. I’ve been known to send guys to travellers sites to meet us. |
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"Be patient
Be thick skinned
Be lucky
Don't take yourself too seriously
Don't whine about lack of messages
Don't blame the actions of others as "timewasters" spoiling it for you
Be positive
Be prepared to put in a lot of work crafting your messages
Be lucky
Perseverance
Oh and be lucky "
This ^ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you measure success?"
As was mentioned earlier if you see yourself as being in competition with other men on the site you have a misguided view.
I would say that while some men have problems soliciting replies from the ladies of fab, some men get a healthy send to reply ratio.
I think what OP is asking is what do thess men do differently?
Unfortunately most of the men who would benefit from this thread wouldn't take the time to browse the forum. It's my hope though that threads like this make life a little more bearable for the ladies. |
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"1) Your first message is crucial. They say first impressions last. As a rule I never say anything I wouldn't say to a person I just met in a bar.
2) Don't even mention sex until she does. Not even inuendo. If she's interested sex will come up soon enough. This includes pictures of a sexual nature.
3) Read her profile. Women are amazing. They give us guys all kinds of clues as to their likes and dislikes. They sometimes give great conversation starters.
4) Concentrate on what she wants. Not what you want. Trust me that if a woman is really attracted to you are going to get what you want whether you like it or not. But it starts by giving not demanding to receive.
5) Listen to her. This pertains to her replies (if you are so lucky) and if you meet her in person. Great convsationalists listen more than they speak.
6) Treat her like a person. (So sad it needs to be said) but manners and respect can get you just as far as a rippling 6 pack and 10 inch knob.
7) Look after yourself. We aren't all Brad Pitt but nothing stops you putting on some nice clothes, applying some personal hygiene, male grooming if it's applicable. Find a decent deodorant and aftershave (but don't bath in it!)
8) Be fun, lighthearted and humorous if you can. Be serious if she mentions her troubles though. If your profile solicits a giggle you're on the right track.
9) Don't expect her to do all the work. You are not the only guy on fab! What I mean by that is don't expect her to do the chasing and be the one always on the losing end of every interaction. Being prepared to pay for drinks etc goes a long way to making you more of a prince and less of a guy looking for a free hooker.
10) Use Gemini Man's green arrow and read every posting he makes. I've never read anything he says that wasn't well thought out, brilliantly articulated and bang on the money. If he wrote a book on how to be successful on fab I'd buy it.
"
Love this ^ |
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"1) Your first message is crucial. They say first impressions last. As a rule I never say anything I wouldn't say to a person I just met in a bar.
2) Don't even mention sex until she does. Not even inuendo. If she's interested sex will come up soon enough. This includes pictures of a sexual nature.
3) Read her profile. Women are amazing. They give us guys all kinds of clues as to their likes and dislikes. They sometimes give great conversation starters.
4) Concentrate on what she wants. Not what you want. Trust me that if a woman is really attracted to you are going to get what you want whether you like it or not. But it starts by giving not demanding to receive.
5) Listen to her. This pertains to her replies (if you are so lucky) and if you meet her in person. Great convsationalists listen more than they speak.
6) Treat her like a person. (So sad it needs to be said) but manners and respect can get you just as far as a rippling 6 pack and 10 inch knob.
7) Look after yourself. We aren't all Brad Pitt but nothing stops you putting on some nice clothes, applying some personal hygiene, male grooming if it's applicable. Find a decent deodorant and aftershave (but don't bath in it!)
8) Be fun, lighthearted and humorous if you can. Be serious if she mentions her troubles though. If your profile solicits a giggle you're on the right track.
9) Don't expect her to do all the work. You are not the only guy on fab! What I mean by that is don't expect her to do the chasing and be the one always on the losing end of every interaction. Being prepared to pay for drinks etc goes a long way to making you more of a prince and less of a guy looking for a free hooker.
10) Use Gemini Man's green arrow and read every posting he makes. I've never read anything he says that wasn't well thought out, brilliantly articulated and bang on the money. If he wrote a book on how to be successful on fab I'd buy it.
"
Great advice. |
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"1) Your first message is crucial. They say first impressions last. As a rule I never say anything I wouldn't say to a person I just met in a bar.
2) Don't even mention sex until she does. Not even inuendo. If she's interested sex will come up soon enough. This includes pictures of a sexual nature.
3) Read her profile. Women are amazing. They give us guys all kinds of clues as to their likes and dislikes. They sometimes give great conversation starters.
4) Concentrate on what she wants. Not what you want. Trust me that if a woman is really attracted to you are going to get what you want whether you like it or not. But it starts by giving not demanding to receive.
5) Listen to her. This pertains to her replies (if you are so lucky) and if you meet her in person. Great convsationalists listen more than they speak.
6) Treat her like a person. (So sad it needs to be said) but manners and respect can get you just as far as a rippling 6 pack and 10 inch knob.
7) Look after yourself. We aren't all Brad Pitt but nothing stops you putting on some nice clothes, applying some personal hygiene, male grooming if it's applicable. Find a decent deodorant and aftershave (but don't bath in it!)
8) Be fun, lighthearted and humorous if you can. Be serious if she mentions her troubles though. If your profile solicits a giggle you're on the right track.
9) Don't expect her to do all the work. You are not the only guy on fab! What I mean by that is don't expect her to do the chasing and be the one always on the losing end of every interaction. Being prepared to pay for drinks etc goes a long way to making you more of a prince and less of a guy looking for a free hooker.
10) Use Gemini Man's green arrow and read every posting he makes. I've never read anything he says that wasn't well thought out, brilliantly articulated and bang on the money. If he wrote a book on how to be successful on fab I'd buy it.
"
11. Don’t boast on your profile about something that’s clearly not quite as you would have us believe! Women’s intuition is incredible and we read between the lines extremely well
12. Just because you think your manhood is your best assets doesn’t mean we will. Several women here prefer articulate and intelligent conversation foremost - sex starts in the brain!
13. Check your pics before you post!! Trashy rooms in the back ground are an instant no no! As are filthy mirrors
14. It’s a swing site - you’re here for whatever reason. Most women will accept that
15. Ours friends only pics are at each discretion. Don’t assume it’s a given you will have access after one message!
16. Often we don’t care how much money you have, what car you drive or how important your job is. If you create the right impression it will be you we are interested in
17. Don’t play us off again your other ‘hotlisters’ we can see by your forum posts if you’re doing so - it’s not fair game! |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"My only advice. Don't try and be attractive to everyone in your profile. You'll end up with a mundane watered down generic profile. Don't try and be everything others tell you you should be. If you can't work out how to message a stranger online without help, maybe this isn't for you. "
Good advice. |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Being successful isn't about meeting a thousand people who don't quite fit the bill just because you can, it's about finding those that do... for all involved
P |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Be patient
Be thick skinned
Be lucky
Don't take yourself too seriously
Don't whine about lack of messages
Don't blame the actions of others as "timewasters" spoiling it for you
Be positive
Be prepared to put in a lot of work crafting your messages
Be lucky
Perseverance
Oh and be lucky "
All the above... |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Being successful isn't about meeting a thousand people who don't quite fit the bill just because you can, it's about finding those that do... for all involved
P"
Being successful isn't always about finding the one person who fits the bill perfectly, as you won't know right away if they do, it's about learning from the ones that might not.
Plus you can make friendships even if you don't match sexually.
You see, success can be measured in soooooo many ways.
P |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"1) Your first message is crucial. They say first impressions last. As a rule I never say anything I wouldn't say to a person I just met in a bar.
2) Don't even mention sex until she does. Not even inuendo. If she's interested sex will come up soon enough. This includes pictures of a sexual nature.
3) Read her profile. Women are amazing. They give us guys all kinds of clues as to their likes and dislikes. They sometimes give great conversation starters.
4) Concentrate on what she wants. Not what you want. Trust me that if a woman is really attracted to you are going to get what you want whether you like it or not. But it starts by giving not demanding to receive.
5) Listen to her. This pertains to her replies (if you are so lucky) and if you meet her in person. Great convsationalists listen more than they speak.
6) Treat her like a person. (So sad it needs to be said) but manners and respect can get you just as far as a rippling 6 pack and 10 inch knob.
7) Look after yourself. We aren't all Brad Pitt but nothing stops you putting on some nice clothes, applying some personal hygiene, male grooming if it's applicable. Find a decent deodorant and aftershave (but don't bath in it!)
8) Be fun, lighthearted and humorous if you can. Be serious if she mentions her troubles though. If your profile solicits a giggle you're on the right track.
9) Don't expect her to do all the work. You are not the only guy on fab! What I mean by that is don't expect her to do the chasing and be the one always on the losing end of every interaction. Being prepared to pay for drinks etc goes a long way to making you more of a prince and less of a guy looking for a free hooker.
10) Use Gemini Man's green arrow and read every posting he makes. I've never read anything he says that wasn't well thought out, brilliantly articulated and bang on the money. If he wrote a book on how to be successful on fab I'd buy it.
11. Don’t boast on your profile about something that’s clearly not quite as you would have us believe! Women’s intuition is incredible and we read between the lines extremely well
12. Just because you think your manhood is your best assets doesn’t mean we will. Several women here prefer articulate and intelligent conversation foremost - sex starts in the brain!
13. Check your pics before you post!! Trashy rooms in the back ground are an instant no no! As are filthy mirrors
14. It’s a swing site - you’re here for whatever reason. Most women will accept that
15. Ours friends only pics are at each discretion. Don’t assume it’s a given you will have access after one message!
16. Often we don’t care how much money you have, what car you drive or how important your job is. If you create the right impression it will be you we are interested in
17. Don’t play us off again your other ‘hotlisters’ we can see by your forum posts if you’re doing so - it’s not fair game! "
the best advice on what women want comes from women themselves. Fab must have one of the greatest databases on what women want. |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Id advise a 'penis sky remote' profile picture.... they'll be flocking
And if you cannot afford Sky television, a Lynx deodorant can should suffice..."
Fuck it, empty toilet roll tube
P |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
"
the best advice on what women want comes from women themselves. Fab must have one of the greatest databases on what women want."
Do you know many women ?...even they dont know what they want most of the time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
the best advice on what women want comes from women themselves. Fab must have one of the greatest databases on what women want.
Do you know many women ?...even they dont know what they want most of the time "
Collectively between my singles profile and couples profile I have met 170 people as either single women or as women in couples.
Ok yes that was a rhetorical question. It is not for women to know what they want it's for men to figure that out for them
I don't believe that if a man followed all the brilliant advice given on fab forums he would still be sending a "Hi" or FAF message accompanied by a dick pic. |
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|
By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
"
the best advice on what women want comes from women themselves. Fab must have one of the greatest databases on what women want.
Do you know many women ?...even they dont know what they want most of the time
Collectively between my singles profile and couples profile I have met 170 people as either single women or as women in couples.
Ok yes that was a rhetorical question. It is not for women to know what they want it's for men to figure that out for them
I don't believe that if a man followed all the brilliant advice given on fab forums he would still be sending a "Hi" or FAF message accompanied by a dick pic."
|
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Truth be told there is no magic formula, and success is a moveable feast
Do what you do, because that way you will meet people of a similar mindset. If you are gregarious and confident, then using that approach will appeal to those that want that. If you are shy and/or reserved, then you will meet people that are looking for that.
For every person/couple looking for a sapophile, there is a person/couple looking for a "quick fix".
Know thyself... And be thyself. Or lie, pretend to be the man that the forums tell you you should be, I love reading status messages about players... |
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"1) Your first message is crucial. They say first impressions last. As a rule I never say anything I wouldn't say to a person I just met in a bar.
2) Don't even mention sex until she does. Not even inuendo. If she's interested sex will come up soon enough. This includes pictures of a sexual nature.
3) Read her profile. Women are amazing. They give us guys all kinds of clues as to their likes and dislikes. They sometimes give great conversation starters.
4) Concentrate on what she wants. Not what you want. Trust me that if a woman is really attracted to you are going to get what you want whether you like it or not. But it starts by giving not demanding to receive.
5) Listen to her. This pertains to her replies (if you are so lucky) and if you meet her in person. Great convsationalists listen more than they speak.
6) Treat her like a person. (So sad it needs to be said) but manners and respect can get you just as far as a rippling 6 pack and 10 inch knob.
7) Look after yourself. We aren't all Brad Pitt but nothing stops you putting on some nice clothes, applying some personal hygiene, male grooming if it's applicable. Find a decent deodorant and aftershave (but don't bath in it!)
8) Be fun, lighthearted and humorous if you can. Be serious if she mentions her troubles though. If your profile solicits a giggle you're on the right track.
9) Don't expect her to do all the work. You are not the only guy on fab! What I mean by that is don't expect her to do the chasing and be the one always on the losing end of every interaction. Being prepared to pay for drinks etc goes a long way to making you more of a prince and less of a guy looking for a free hooker.
10) Use Gemini Man's green arrow and read every posting he makes. I've never read anything he says that wasn't well thought out, brilliantly articulated and bang on the money. If he wrote a book on how to be successful on fab I'd buy it.
11. Don’t boast on your profile about something that’s clearly not quite as you would have us believe! Women’s intuition is incredible and we read between the lines extremely well
12. Just because you think your manhood is your best assets doesn’t mean we will. Several women here prefer articulate and intelligent conversation foremost - sex starts in the brain!
13. Check your pics before you post!! Trashy rooms in the back ground are an instant no no! As are filthy mirrors
14. It’s a swing site - you’re here for whatever reason. Most women will accept that
15. Ours friends only pics are at each discretion. Don’t assume it’s a given you will have access after one message!
16. Often we don’t care how much money you have, what car you drive or how important your job is. If you create the right impression it will be you we are interested in
17. Don’t play us off again your other ‘hotlisters’ we can see by your forum posts if you’re doing so - it’s not fair game!
the best advice on what women want comes from women themselves. Fab must have one of the greatest databases on what women want."
Exactly!!! |
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"Truth be told there is no magic formula, and success is a moveable feast
Know thyself... And be thyself. Or lie,pretend to be the man that the forums tell you you should be, I love reading status messages about players... "
|
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|
By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
I am not sure if I would be classed as successful I leave that for others to decide.My advice to all single guys is go to socials and clubs chat and mingle with people be polite and respectful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My head spinning with these rules
Fair play to you sir
Maybe not see some of these as rules. Guidelines or things to try. See how it works for you.
I hate the idea of rules as every woman is different. You need to care enough to read the signals coming back.
I really loathe the "How to pick up chicks" approach. I think the friendship that can develop between swingers is the most beautiful aspect of swinging. But that's just me."
Tbh these are good guide lines, I'm just not that well behaved. I don't tend chase women on here, always attend clubs and meet people that way. I personally feel nothing beats face to face and reading body language which is a hard thing to translate within words. I don't kiss and tell neither
Your guidelines are a good shout for struggling men on here.
I would like to also add a guideline
Sound happy because positive vibes is infectious |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Someone mentioned not punching too high above your weight. This does have merit but....
Confidence is a huge factor. You are selling yourself and a good sales person believes in their product. Unfortunately confidence comes from success and success requires some degree of confidence. It can be an upward or downward spiral.
At the risk of being misinterpreted it's probably better to err on the side of arrogance than self deprecation. |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My head spinning with these rules
Fair play to you sir
Maybe not see some of these as rules. Guidelines or things to try. See how it works for you.
I hate the idea of rules as every woman is different. You need to care enough to read the signals coming back.
I really loathe the "How to pick up chicks" approach. I think the friendship that can develop between swingers is the most beautiful aspect of swinging. But that's just me.
Tbh these are good guide lines, I'm just not that well behaved. I don't tend chase women on here, always attend clubs and meet people that way. I personally feel nothing beats face to face and reading body language which is a hard thing to translate within words. I don't kiss and tell neither
Your guidelines are a good shout for struggling men on here.
I would like to also add a guideline
Sound happy because positive vibes is infectious "
Absolutely! Not everyone is a comedian but the the whole funeral director approach only appeals to a few
Positivity attracts while bitching about your ex, traffic etc (and I should take my own advice here!) just simply isn't sexy. |
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"Someone mentioned not punching too high above your weight. This does have merit but....
Confidence is a huge factor. You are selling yourself and a good sales person believes in their product. Unfortunately confidence comes from success and success requires some degree of confidence. It can be an upward or downward spiral.
At the risk of being misinterpreted it's probably better to err on the side of arrogance than self deprecation. "
I'd say so, self depreciation I dont think is attractive when looking for fun |
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|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"At the risk of being misinterpreted it's probably better to err on the side of arrogance than self deprecation. "
Yes, too much self deprecation is unattractive and has sadly put me off men in the past. I like people who are happy within themselves and are rocking whoever they might be - I want to be able to relax and feel at ease with someone not feel like I constantly need to reassure them. |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"At the risk of being misinterpreted it's probably better to err on the side of arrogance than self deprecation.
Yes, too much self deprecation is unattractive and has sadly put me off men in the past. I like people who are happy within themselves and are rocking whoever they might be - I want to be able to relax and feel at ease with someone not feel like I constantly need to reassure them."
See, I self deprecate yet I'm confident, so I guess it's a balancing act.
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Lol definitely
I have a feeling I'm not well liked on here as i do tend to mock.. Alot
But
Brings a smile to my face
"
I don't dislike ya.
I like a bit of wordy swordfighting
P |
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|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"At the risk of being misinterpreted it's probably better to err on the side of arrogance than self deprecation.
Yes, too much self deprecation is unattractive and has sadly put me off men in the past. I like people who are happy within themselves and are rocking whoever they might be - I want to be able to relax and feel at ease with someone not feel like I constantly need to reassure them.
See, I self deprecate yet I'm confident, so I guess it's a balancing act.
P"
Yes, it's a fine line between the two and I'm probably a fickle twat because one day it could be funny the next eye roll inducing. I think confidence and self deprecation together is good but not too heavily weighted one side. |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Someone mentioned not punching too high above your weight. This does have merit but....
Confidence is a huge factor. You are selling yourself and a good sales person believes in their product. Unfortunately confidence comes from success and success requires some degree of confidence. It can be an upward or downward spiral.
At the risk of being misinterpreted it's probably better to err on the side of arrogance than self deprecation. "
That might explain a lot. I deliberately took on a self-deprecating persona to put people off when I didn’t want to meet. Five years or so on it’s a hard habit to break. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Lol definitely
I have a feeling I'm not well liked on here as i do tend to mock.. Alot
But
Brings a smile to my face
Smiling is what it's all about..that and great sex  "
Always smiling laughing and joking
Life is too short |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"At the risk of being misinterpreted it's probably better to err on the side of arrogance than self deprecation.
Yes, too much self deprecation is unattractive and has sadly put me off men in the past. I like people who are happy within themselves and are rocking whoever they might be - I want to be able to relax and feel at ease with someone not feel like I constantly need to reassure them.
See, I self deprecate yet I'm confident, so I guess it's a balancing act.
P
Yes, it's a fine line between the two and I'm probably a fickle twat because one day it could be funny the next eye roll inducing. I think confidence and self deprecation together is good but not too heavily weighted one side. "
Then get those pretty lips over here and kiss my wonky chops.
How's that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Lol definitely
I have a feeling I'm not well liked on here as i do tend to mock.. Alot
But
Brings a smile to my face
A challenger
You do realise I'm a sith lord
Darth Trimious they call me
Joking aside love bantering with anyone that can take it
I don't dislike ya.
I like a bit of wordy swordfighting
P"
|
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|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I think confidence and self deprecation together is good but not too heavily weighted one side.
Then get those pretty lips over here and kiss my wonky chops.
How's that? "
 It worked. Gushing for you right now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Be nice
Be yourself
Don't bullshit or bluster
Don't commit unless you know you can
Be respectful - of those you meet AND yourself
Don't be a creep
Always remember, no matter how genuine your intentions, someone will always try to second guess you
Don't bite
Don't answer things you aren't willing to answer honestly
Don't do things you are uncomfortable with
Talk to people when you're not raging horny
Find out and understand boundaries
Address both parties in a couple and respect them both
Don't forget, your security is as important as that of those you're meeting so be cautious and take precautions
Above all else have fun ... the sort of fun that leaves all parties thinking 'that was Fab' at least and wanting more & more of where that came from
There's probably more, but I think that's enough to be going on with |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think confidence and self deprecation together is good but not too heavily weighted one side.
Then get those pretty lips over here and kiss my wonky chops.
How's that?
It worked. Gushing for you right now."
She speaks the foof, whole foof and nothing but the foof
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Lol definitely
I have a feeling I'm not well liked on here as i do tend to mock.. Alot
But
Brings a smile to my face
"
I don't know where you got that idea. I have always enjoyed your posts, particularly where you have defused tensions where discussions have become heated. We need more people like you. |
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"Be nice
Be yourself
Don't bullshit or bluster
Don't commit unless you know you can
Be respectful - of those you meet AND yourself
Don't be a creep
Always remember, no matter how genuine your intentions, someone will always try to second guess you
Don't bite
Don't answer things you aren't willing to answer honestly
Don't do things you are uncomfortable with
Talk to people when you're not raging horny
Find out and understand boundaries
Address both parties in a couple and respect them both
Don't forget, your security is as important as that of those you're meeting so be cautious and take precautions
Above all else have fun ... the sort of fun that leaves all parties thinking 'that was Fab' at least and wanting more & more of where that came from
There's probably more, but I think that's enough to be going on with "
Good advice |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Be nice
Be yourself
Don't bullshit or bluster
Don't commit unless you know you can
Be respectful - of those you meet AND yourself
Don't be a creep
Always remember, no matter how genuine your intentions, someone will always try to second guess you
Don't bite
Don't answer things you aren't willing to answer honestly
Don't do things you are uncomfortable with
Talk to people when you're not raging horny
Find out and understand boundaries
Address both parties in a couple and respect them both
Don't forget, your security is as important as that of those you're meeting so be cautious and take precautions
Above all else have fun ... the sort of fun that leaves all parties thinking 'that was Fab' at least and wanting more & more of where that came from
There's probably more, but I think that's enough to be going on with "
Talk to people when you're not raging horny
this
Desperation. Also not sexy. |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wouldn't want to meet anyone who needs to ask advice of people who largely spend their time chatting on a forum"
Apparently no one had thought of that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wouldn't want to meet anyone who needs to ask advice of people who largely spend their time chatting on a forum
Apparently no one had thought of that! "
You don't think there's some good advice on this thread :'-( |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wouldn't want to meet anyone who needs to ask advice of people who largely spend their time chatting on a forum
Apparently no one had thought of that!
You don't think there's some good advice on this thread :'-("
Oh there's some advice. Not sure I need to meet anyone that needs to be told it. And a lot of it I actually don't agree with. But hey. I'm a minority. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't want to meet anyone who needs to ask advice of people who largely spend their time chatting on a forum
Apparently no one had thought of that!
You don't think there's some good advice on this thread :'-(
Oh there's some advice. Not sure I need to meet anyone that needs to be told it. And a lot of it I actually don't agree with. But hey. I'm a minority."
I am one of those guys who started off sending horrendous messages (much to my embarrassment). I was never rude, I simply didn't understand the position of fab women. I really wish that at that stage I had gone onto the forums and read some of the posts. I'd have got to where I am now far more quickly. |
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Go to socials, dress well. Make an effort with your pictures, limit the dick pics. Stay active, update status regularly, post new pictures regularly, use the forum, change your location around to nearby towns every so often. Don't look desperate/needy play it cool. Give people an insight to your life away fab so they feel they know you a little. Get verified asap even if just by a social, use fab when you're not horny and try to get to know people rather than look for sex as the sex will come later once you make connections. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be nice
Be yourself
Don't bullshit or bluster
Don't commit unless you know you can
Be respectful - of those you meet AND yourself
Don't be a creep
Always remember, no matter how genuine your intentions, someone will always try to second guess you
Don't bite
Don't answer things you aren't willing to answer honestly
Don't do things you are uncomfortable with
Talk to people when you're not raging horny
Find out and understand boundaries
Address both parties in a couple and respect them both
Don't forget, your security is as important as that of those you're meeting so be cautious and take precautions
Above all else have fun ... the sort of fun that leaves all parties thinking 'that was Fab' at least and wanting more & more of where that came from
There's probably more, but I think that's enough to be going on with
Talk to people when you're not raging horny
this
Desperation. Also not sexy."
Pretty much most things have been covered in here. That post above is great. Be yourself meaning don't try to be different things for different people. It will waste your energy and frustrate you.
Desperation/needy - Leave it out! Try to have a more calm/relaxed approach. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is a cool thread for Fab men.
Nice one OP
"Don't throw your toys out the pram if you aren't someone's cup of tea"
Bingo!
Don't throw toys out of the pram full stop. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All the comments saying just be yourself... Clearly being themselves hasn't worked out that well for them if they are on the forum grumbling about not getting a meet "
Be yourself unless you're a dick than its acceptable to be someone else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lol definitely
I have a feeling I'm not well liked on here as i do tend to mock.. Alot
But
Brings a smile to my face
I don't know where you got that idea. I have always enjoyed your posts, particularly where you have defused tensions where discussions have become heated. We need more people like you. "
Agreed.
Generally I think a bit of humour, authenticity and a good balance of confidence and humility go a long way. If you seem genuine and self-aware the interaction becomes much easier. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Main thing is read their profile fully before messaging and send message with some content and content relating to their needs in their profile and how you would fit their requirements.
Don't target everyone make your profile show you have specific interests rather than i will try anything. Good body pics rather than loads of cock pics |
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but really it's not rocket science 