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By *stella OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
"Not in our experience, they think they are right in how they behave and in everything they do.
A was married to one for 20 years but couldn't get away from him."
Ach, sorry to hear that. But glad things are better now.
It’s an interesting blindspot thing. |
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By *stella OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
"Interesting
Yes , I believe they know but won’t ever admit it "
Uhhuh I wonder about this, do they, don’t they.
We all have narcissistic traits, but the full on rumbiddletwatterygumptitious ones - oooh I wonder if they know and just manipulate with intent or if they’re just oblivious. It’s fascinating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t know, after being married to one for over 22 years I think he was so self absorbed that he wouldn’t have recognised the behaviours. But I’m finally getting my divorce so he’s somebody else’s problem x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You'd hope a diagnosed narcissist would yes.. everyone has some level of narcissism in their personality but many people don't seem to know themselves particularly well.. or if they do, don't want to work on themselves.
Saff |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I'm really not sure tbh, I have 2 siblings who I suspect are one, and the funny thing is they don't understand that they are actually describing themselves when they are slagging off the other, it is so hard to keep my mouth shut when they do it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t know, after being married to one for over 22 years I think he was so self absorbed that he wouldn’t have recognised the behaviours. But I’m finally getting my divorce so he’s somebody else’s problem x "
Congrats on the divorce!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t know, after being married to one for over 22 years I think he was so self absorbed that he wouldn’t have recognised the behaviours. But I’m finally getting my divorce so he’s somebody else’s problem x
Congrats on the divorce! "
Thank s x  |
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"What is wrong with narcissism?"
In my experience a narcissist never ever takes responsibility for their own actions or the consequences of their actions.
Everything including their own toxic behavhour is always someone else's fault.
They are always right, never wrong.
Everyone else is always in the wrong.
The world is against them.
Rinse and repeat.
Horrendous to observe and soul destroying to live with.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is wrong with narcissism?
In my experience a narcissist never ever takes responsibility for their own actions or the consequences of their actions.
Everything including their own toxic behavhour is always someone else's fault.
They are always right, never wrong.
Everyone else is always in the wrong.
The world is against them.
Rinse and repeat.
Horrendous to observe and soul destroying to live with.
"
Is that not Narcissistic Personality Disorder? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What is wrong with narcissism?
In my experience a narcissist never ever takes responsibility for their own actions or the consequences of their actions.
Everything including their own toxic behavhour is always someone else's fault.
They are always right, never wrong.
Everyone else is always in the wrong.
The world is against them.
Rinse and repeat.
Horrendous to observe and soul destroying to live with.
"
Xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not sure they know they are narcissists as such but they are often aware of their own ideas of grandeur. They tend to put it down to an "I don't give a fuck what people think" attitude whilst subconsciously attempting to manipulate the way people think. |
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"Does a narcissist know they’re a narcissist?
"
Don't think so...unlucky for me I got a boss that's one....so passive aggressive as well...have just taken the plunge and reported her ....something tells me I'll be looking for a new job soon  K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As someone who saw through one and refused to play his game - yes, they absolutely do know. They know which buttons to press and when/how and have to be extremely self aware to do so. Mind you, mine still tells me I was completely wrong in everything the entire time we were together (17 months) and still throws his toys out of the pram when he doesn't get his own way. Sadly, it seems others haven't seen through his facade yet. But he's no longer my problem (not my circus, not my monkeys). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think some do they know exactly what they are doing and others are so absorbed in theirselves they don't see how their actions affect others or care. "
They all do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does a narcissist know they’re a narcissist?
"
I don't think they do. I've just recently cut ties with a couple of narcissistic acquaintances. Now I'm the one to blame .....  |
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"Does a narcissist know they’re a narcissist?
I don't think they do. I've just recently cut ties with a couple of narcissistic acquaintances. Now I'm the one to blame ..... "
It really is the only way. I know from experience you can't reason, argue or negotiate with a narcissist.
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By *stella OP Woman
over a year ago
London |
"Does a narcissist know they’re a narcissist?
I don't think they do. I've just recently cut ties with a couple of narcissistic acquaintances. Now I'm the one to blame .....
It really is the only way. I know from experience you can't reason, argue or negotiate with a narcissist.
"
It’s like herding cats! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is wrong with narcissism?
Good question.
A better question is whats right with them?
Also good. "
Narcissists are more likely to be determined and less likely to be put off by failure. Narcissism is is a more of a factor determining success than intelligence. Very few highly successful don't have narcissistic traits. Narcissists are also often very charming and socially successful.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/education-44601198 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does a narcissist know they’re a narcissist?
I don't think they do. I've just recently cut ties with a couple of narcissistic acquaintances. Now I'm the one to blame .....
It really is the only way. I know from experience you can't reason, argue or negotiate with a narcissist.
It’s like herding cats!"
You can argue. Just don't expect to win the argument. |
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"Does a narcissist know they’re a narcissist?
I don't think they do. I've just recently cut ties with a couple of narcissistic acquaintances. Now I'm the one to blame .....
It really is the only way. I know from experience you can't reason, argue or negotiate with a narcissist.
It’s like herding cats!
You can argue. Just don't expect to win the argument. "
Exactly, so pointless and exhausting.
Avoid, avoid, avoid is the only sane thing to do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does a narcissist know they’re a narcissist?
They don't have the self-awareness.
But there is research that says not only do they have self-awareness but they embrace it. "
But they plan, they plan to manipulate, they plan to destroy. They know they're lying, deceiving, controlling, and all of the other stuff.
I was unsure if they truly BELIEVE their own lies etc, making it not their fault if that makes sense, coz in their world this stuff is real.
But ....
My ex admitted that his plan was to make my life so miserable and unbearable I either killed myself or kicked him out so he could play the victim.
Nobody but nobody would say that if it wasn't true or if they were unsure of what they were actually doing, or of the impact of their actions. He fucking knew.
P |
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"Does a narcissist know they’re a narcissist?
They don't have the self-awareness.
But there is research that says not only do they have self-awareness but they embrace it.
But they plan, they plan to manipulate, they plan to destroy. They know they're lying, deceiving, controlling, and all of the other stuff.
I was unsure if they truly BELIEVE their own lies etc, making it not their fault if that makes sense, coz in their world this stuff is real.
But ....
My ex admitted that his plan was to make my life so miserable and unbearable I either killed myself or kicked him out so he could play the victim.
Nobody but nobody would say that if it wasn't true or if they were unsure of what they were actually doing, or of the impact of their actions. He fucking knew.
P"
I agree, I think they do know what they are doing, but they justify it to themselves as everything they do is right, and it's their right to do what they do.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Does a narcissist know they’re a narcissist?
They don't have the self-awareness.
But there is research that says not only do they have self-awareness but they embrace it.
But they plan, they plan to manipulate, they plan to destroy. They know they're lying, deceiving, controlling, and all of the other stuff.
I was unsure if they truly BELIEVE their own lies etc, making it not their fault if that makes sense, coz in their world this stuff is real.
But ....
My ex admitted that his plan was to make my life so miserable and unbearable I either killed myself or kicked him out so he could play the victim.
Nobody but nobody would say that if it wasn't true or if they were unsure of what they were actually doing, or of the impact of their actions. He fucking knew.
P
I agree, I think they do know what they are doing, but they justify it to themselves as everything they do is right, and it's their right to do what they do.
"
Absolutely, up until he admitted that I thought the behaviours were something he didn't necessarily mean to do. Almost like that was him and he thought it was normal behaviour for everyone to behave the way he did, that he couldn't see what he was doing wrong.
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Does a narcissist know they’re a narcissist?
I don't think they do. I've just recently cut ties with a couple of narcissistic acquaintances. Now I'm the one to blame .....
It really is the only way. I know from experience you can't reason, argue or negotiate with a narcissist.
It’s like herding cats!
You can argue. Just don't expect to win the argument.
Exactly, so pointless and exhausting.
Avoid, avoid, avoid is the only sane thing to do."
Just when you think you've got them pinned in a corner they twist something you said and you go all the way down the snake to square one. Like nailing jelly to a wall. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Does a narcissist know they’re a narcissist?
They don't have the self-awareness.
But there is research that says not only do they have self-awareness but they embrace it.
But they plan, they plan to manipulate, they plan to destroy. They know they're lying, deceiving, controlling, and all of the other stuff.
I was unsure if they truly BELIEVE their own lies etc, making it not their fault if that makes sense, coz in their world this stuff is real.
But ....
My ex admitted that his plan was to make my life so miserable and unbearable I either killed myself or kicked him out so he could play the victim.
Nobody but nobody would say that if it wasn't true or if they were unsure of what they were actually doing, or of the impact of their actions. He fucking knew.
P
I agree, I think they do know what they are doing, but they justify it to themselves as everything they do is right, and it's their right to do what they do.
Absolutely, up until he admitted that I thought the behaviours were something he didn't necessarily mean to do. Almost like that was him and he thought it was normal behaviour for everyone to behave the way he did, that he couldn't see what he was doing wrong.
P"
Be careful. We never adnit to being wrong. When we do it's just a cunning manipulation like losing a battle to win the war. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Does a narcissist know they’re a narcissist?
They don't have the self-awareness.
But there is research that says not only do they have self-awareness but they embrace it.
But they plan, they plan to manipulate, they plan to destroy. They know they're lying, deceiving, controlling, and all of the other stuff.
I was unsure if they truly BELIEVE their own lies etc, making it not their fault if that makes sense, coz in their world this stuff is real.
But ....
My ex admitted that his plan was to make my life so miserable and unbearable I either killed myself or kicked him out so he could play the victim.
Nobody but nobody would say that if it wasn't true or if they were unsure of what they were actually doing, or of the impact of their actions. He fucking knew.
P
I agree, I think they do know what they are doing, but they justify it to themselves as everything they do is right, and it's their right to do what they do.
Absolutely, up until he admitted that I thought the behaviours were something he didn't necessarily mean to do. Almost like that was him and he thought it was normal behaviour for everyone to behave the way he did, that he couldn't see what he was doing wrong.
P
Be careful. We never adnit to being wrong. When we do it's just a cunning manipulation like losing a battle to win the war."
Sorry. I meant to say they. They never admit to being wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Does a narcissist know they’re a narcissist?
They don't have the self-awareness.
But there is research that says not only do they have self-awareness but they embrace it.
But they plan, they plan to manipulate, they plan to destroy. They know they're lying, deceiving, controlling, and all of the other stuff.
I was unsure if they truly BELIEVE their own lies etc, making it not their fault if that makes sense, coz in their world this stuff is real.
But ....
My ex admitted that his plan was to make my life so miserable and unbearable I either killed myself or kicked him out so he could play the victim.
Nobody but nobody would say that if it wasn't true or if they were unsure of what they were actually doing, or of the impact of their actions. He fucking knew.
P"
So did mine. His final words to me on the day he left were "you'll never know how much you've hurt me, I'm going to make you wish you'd never been fucking born", he then proceeded to try and do just that for 6 years. Currently he's being nice. Which scares me no end |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Does a narcissist know they’re a narcissist?
They don't have the self-awareness.
But there is research that says not only do they have self-awareness but they embrace it.
But they plan, they plan to manipulate, they plan to destroy. They know they're lying, deceiving, controlling, and all of the other stuff.
I was unsure if they truly BELIEVE their own lies etc, making it not their fault if that makes sense, coz in their world this stuff is real.
But ....
My ex admitted that his plan was to make my life so miserable and unbearable I either killed myself or kicked him out so he could play the victim.
Nobody but nobody would say that if it wasn't true or if they were unsure of what they were actually doing, or of the impact of their actions. He fucking knew.
P
I agree, I think they do know what they are doing, but they justify it to themselves as everything they do is right, and it's their right to do what they do.
Absolutely, up until he admitted that I thought the behaviours were something he didn't necessarily mean to do. Almost like that was him and he thought it was normal behaviour for everyone to behave the way he did, that he couldn't see what he was doing wrong.
P"
What do you mean? You always thought he wasn't doing it on purpose, but then he admitted it *was* on purpose and he was fully aware? |
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Firstly let me say I don't have qualifications or knowledge to diagnose narcissism in anybody.
However we're currently dealing with someone who displays many of the characteristics associated with this. He is not aware because he genuinely believes the fantasy he has constructed around himself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Does a narcissist know they’re a narcissist?
They don't have the self-awareness.
But there is research that says not only do they have self-awareness but they embrace it.
But they plan, they plan to manipulate, they plan to destroy. They know they're lying, deceiving, controlling, and all of the other stuff.
I was unsure if they truly BELIEVE their own lies etc, making it not their fault if that makes sense, coz in their world this stuff is real.
But ....
My ex admitted that his plan was to make my life so miserable and unbearable I either killed myself or kicked him out so he could play the victim.
Nobody but nobody would say that if it wasn't true or if they were unsure of what they were actually doing, or of the impact of their actions. He fucking knew.
P
I agree, I think they do know what they are doing, but they justify it to themselves as everything they do is right, and it's their right to do what they do.
Absolutely, up until he admitted that I thought the behaviours were something he didn't necessarily mean to do. Almost like that was him and he thought it was normal behaviour for everyone to behave the way he did, that he couldn't see what he was doing wrong.
P
What do you mean? You always thought he wasn't doing it on purpose, but then he admitted it *was* on purpose and he was fully aware?"
Pretty much, I didn't think he was consciously making decisions to be evil, but more that it was inbuilt and he couldn't help it or change it. When he admitted his intentions that was when it struck home just how calculated it all was.
P |
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