FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Are you an introvert?
Are you an introvert?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Curious if other people on here are naturally introverted beings and still on here?
I don't mind being social but do find I tend to clash with people who are very outgoing. Usually those people are the ones that I wish I could meet up with haha.
Guess I am wondering if you feel the same way as myself and how do you tackle this when coming to meet up with new people.
Apologies if I am not coherant, I might have had a drink or two. But figured now is the time to ask others haha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I am naturally introverted and I get intimidated by louder people. That said though if I fancy someone then I can hold my own on a one to one basis, I'd hide in a corner if it was a group setting.
Being a girl I get away with it a bit more, shy girls are "cute". |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I am!
Loads of people on the forums are friends with each other and I’m not *really* friends with anyone. I’m in a lovely group chat with a group of lovely people, all of whom I like and talk to in the group - but don’t have the balls to really speak to them out with the group. If they message me I get all flustered and don’t know how to react 
This whole social anxiety/being introverted (they’re closely related for me) makes me seem really unsociable and pretty unlikeable - I just don’t really talk to people.
I wonder around the forums aimlessly, as I do in real life. I’m rubbish at making friends, I don’t have many friends in real life at the moment and I find it difficult to talk to people.
Meh! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm nearer to introvert but I don't dislike extroverts. Life would be dull without them."
Agreed. I don't dislike... I just tend to find things are more strained with extroverts. Maybe it's perception. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm nearer to introvert but I don't dislike extroverts. Life would be dull without them."
Extroverts encourage me to talk!
When I’m with a group of people I feel very comfortable with I’m fine. Put someone random in that group, I clam up again |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I am!
Loads of people on the forums are friends with each other and I’m not *really* friends with anyone. I’m in a lovely group chat with a group of lovely people, all of whom I like and talk to in the group - but don’t have the balls to really speak to them out with the group. If they message me I get all flustered and don’t know how to react
This whole social anxiety/being introverted (they’re closely related for me) makes me seem really unsociable and pretty unlikeable - I just don’t really talk to people.
I wonder around the forums aimlessly, as I do in real life. I’m rubbish at making friends, I don’t have many friends in real life at the moment and I find it difficult to talk to people.
Meh!"
Aw this sounds a little like how I feel. Feel rubbish at making friends and talking to people. Even after meeting them. Think I am expecting too much of myself all the time. Its kinda nice to hear others feel somewhat the same. x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
but don’t have the balls to really speak to them out with the group. If they message me I get all flustered and don’t know how to react
"
That does surprise me, I had you down as being quote extrovert |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm an introvert. I can do social situations for short periods of time but need lots of silence to recharge. I dread groups and loud places but push myself to go to places that I'd rather not, as I enjoy them when I'm there.
It's just about doing what you can and taking time to recover.
Saff |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am!
Loads of people on the forums are friends with each other and I’m not *really* friends with anyone. I’m in a lovely group chat with a group of lovely people, all of whom I like and talk to in the group - but don’t have the balls to really speak to them out with the group. If they message me I get all flustered and don’t know how to react
This whole social anxiety/being introverted (they’re closely related for me) makes me seem really unsociable and pretty unlikeable - I just don’t really talk to people.
I wonder around the forums aimlessly, as I do in real life. I’m rubbish at making friends, I don’t have many friends in real life at the moment and I find it difficult to talk to people.
Meh!
Aw this sounds a little like how I feel. Feel rubbish at making friends and talking to people. Even after meeting them. Think I am expecting too much of myself all the time. Its kinda nice to hear others feel somewhat the same. x"
It’s rubbish isn’t it  there’s so many people (fab and in the real world!) id love to talk to. And I know it’s as easy as sending a message, but I honestly just can’t bring myself to do it, what to say, how to act etc. I’m quite a ‘loner’ to be honest |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
but don’t have the balls to really speak to them out with the group. If they message me I get all flustered and don’t know how to react
That does surprise me, I had you down as being quote extrovert"
I honestly wish I was. I act pretty confident so I’m glad it seems that way. I’m incredibly shy and awkward and I really hate it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I am an extroverted introvert.
I love love love my outgoing people time, interacting and being social, but need my alone time to recuperate.
It's a guess as to where I'll be on any given day."
Never heard the phrase before but this is definitely me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Crazy, how we can look at people and assume so much. Yet when we get to find out a little more a about them, we have more in common than expected.
I tend to see nice women and literally freeze mentally haha. But they have told me that they feel the same. Just curious how many people on fab are the same. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’d say I’m an introvert but I don’t dislike extroverts. I probably bounce off more outgoing people, they bring me out of my shell more but I would probably feel uncomfortable and out of place at a social gathering with a lot of louder people. I’m not shy however and can hold my own, I’m just not overly social. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm an introvert but i enjoy meeting new people..
The only thing that puts me off that is my social anxiety  "
Tell me about it! I have the guts to put myself out there and go as far as meeting... Then when come to actually being there in the moment ... I am like jelly haha. 1 of my meets ended up my shaking like a fucking leaf purely because I felt so anxious haha
But figure if I don't do it... Then I won't ever. Pushing bounderies and all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm a total extrovert, love socialising, parties, clubs, out with my girls.
I've calmed down as I've aged, but I can still dance til dawn 
But there are times, I really do just need to shut the door on the world & he left totaly alone |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
No I’m not. I can stand up I front of hundreds of people and tell them stuff, answer their questions all that. However, in certain situations I can be quite shy. Go figure  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m an extrovert but I tend to attract introverts. It’s generally an interesting combination. "
Sounds fascinating. They say opposite attract and all that. Does it have that type of spark for you? Obviously I am curious haha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m an extrovert but I tend to attract introverts. It’s generally an interesting combination.
Sounds fascinating. They say opposite attract and all that. Does it have that type of spark for you? Obviously I am curious haha"
I guess I like a challenge. They must like someone who makes a spectacle of herself regularly. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Group settings I tend to find myself "listening" and just being like a fly on the wall ha. Shy girls are "cute" but when a shy guy as well.. we tends to never end up connecting. Would love to xD |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I feel like an introvert but my colleagues and family and friends struggle to see that. Internally I am in introvert, externally I am an extrovert. I don't like social things, I avoid interaction where I can but I can hide it very well. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
aww sounds like you are in it together. Least you have someone to be like that with. Flying solo can be tough. Obviously I am speaking from experience so far haha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Loner as a couple? That is an interesting scenario
We're both pretty much loners but we've been together such a long time we're a unit."
That’s like me and C  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m an introvert but can be extroverted in presentation for my job, as required.
But heck do I need to go recharge after. Some people just so d r a i n i n g ! "
haha those feels |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I’m an introvert but can be extroverted in presentation for my job, as required.
But heck do I need to go recharge after. Some people just so d r a i n i n g !
haha those feels"
Some people just can’t cope without everyone hearing their voice at work, it’s usually the ones with nothing relevant to say too, which just makes it worse!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Loner as a couple? That is an interesting scenario
We're both pretty much loners but we've been together such a long time we're a unit.
That’s like me and C "
Are you like us and don't really fit in anywhere properly? I don't mean that's a bad thing or a sad thing, it's just how we are |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Loner as a couple? That is an interesting scenario
We're both pretty much loners but we've been together such a long time we're a unit.
That’s like me and C
Are you like us and don't really fit in anywhere properly? I don't mean that's a bad thing or a sad thing, it's just how we are "
Yep! Even when we’re out with our group of friends it doesn’t feel *right* |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm a mix, enjoying my own space and company but also loving the energy of a group and sparking it ablaze, building it and enjoying the attention and interaction. As I've matured I've appreciated the peace of not cultivating group fun and needing to be the centre of attention, when I'm spending the majority of my time in large groups of people. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Loner as a couple? That is an interesting scenario
We're both pretty much loners but we've been together such a long time we're a unit.
That’s like me and C
Are you like us and don't really fit in anywhere properly? I don't mean that's a bad thing or a sad thing, it's just how we are
Yep! Even when we’re out with our group of friends it doesn’t feel *right* "
I hear ya |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Loner as a couple? That is an interesting scenario
We're both pretty much loners but we've been together such a long time we're a unit.
That’s like me and C
Are you like us and don't really fit in anywhere properly? I don't mean that's a bad thing or a sad thing, it's just how we are
Yep! Even when we’re out with our group of friends it doesn’t feel *right*
I hear ya"
We’re odd-bods ! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes, I am an introvert. I tend to sit back and observe, and don't say much in conversations I don't know stuff about. I am usually quiet in person, and generally don't initiate conversation with someone I haven't met before. I generally wait for someone to come to me rather than go to them. I even don't really message people on here.
Doesn't work well in my favour, because people prefer confident out going people, and there is an irony to be found in the saying "just be yourself", because when an introvert does that they appear either rude or disinterested |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I am an introvert. Happiest on my own and always have been. Minute friend circle.
I find loud people overwhelming so minimise time i spend with them if i can. Large groups of folk are my idea of hell..
I find meeting new people a chore. It doesn’t excite me, it worries me. I’m amazingly bad at small talk so panic in advance about that which makes everything worse. One of the reasons i rarely meet new folk to be honest.
I like being around outgoing people who know when to be quiet takes the pressure of me but also doesn’t exhaust me being in their company.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I dont like people in general. Nasty things!!!
I'm customer facing and have no choice. Sometimes (like last night) I was like a pinball just felt totally out of control and wanted to hide in the corner or run away. It's hard going sometimes. People believe I'm an extrovert because of the way I "act". I've learned to hide the shy, introverted person i really am.
Physically and emotionally draining |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I can be quite sociable even in large groups but I’m actually introverted. Being with lots of people drains me, being on my own or with one or two others recharges me. "
I get this. Given certain situations, I can deal with groups and lots of people (my job sometimes requires it). Get anxious about it and bit self conscious.
Think you struck a point though, introverted doesn't always mean hiding away like a hermit. Just find it the best way to recharge after situations. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've giggled reading this! You can be quiet and an extrovert ... more often the "loudest" people are actually the quieter ones being extroverts & true extroverts don't have to be! I'm naturally a huge extrovert happy in virtually any social situation though describe myself as an overly gregarious hermit and actually grew up as the shiest person ever! Most extroverts I've met over the years have been tbh ... it's just about confidence |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’m extrovert - not afraid of being out there at for the main. I do however find EXTROVERT extroverts over bearing! Loud, abrupt, self centred, pick a fight types... those I avoid like the plague. Problem is they know they do it too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm an extrovert. But I'm not loud and in your face. I don't see being an extrovert as being a loud person. More that I am comfortable in social situations and naturally friendly. I'm not shy meeting new people
Holly |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I would say introverted. Once I'm comfortable around people and I have familiarised myself with a certain setting, then I do chat away and people have described me as very social, friendly and easy to talk to. But it does take a lot of work to get to that stage as I struggle with anxiety and it's incredibly difficult to get past that first stage.
I worry about when the time comes and me and my partner decide to meet with a man to fulfil our fantasy they won't like me and will think I'm really dull and awkward because I'm so timid |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think I somewhat straddle the two...
I'm very outgoing and like socialising, but I need down time and time alone. "
This is me, I’ve learned to hide the shy side of myself x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Quiet : the power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking" by Susan Cain is an interesting read. go read it.
“Don't think of introversion as something that needs to be cured.” |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
Another very strong introvert here.
A lot of these responses make clear something that's often misunderstood. Introverts generally like people and social interaction. We just find it tiring. So we prefer fewer more meaningful interactions, and like to have a quiet place to escape to.
I have the added problem of some miswiring in my brain that makes it very difficult for me to pick out voices against any background noise. Just listening to someone can be exhausting, and it's so easy to drift into my internal world and stop paying attention.
Add the social anxiety and prosopagnosia, and it's a miracle I can function in public at all. But somehow I do, and it's been worth the effort. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Another very strong introvert here.
A lot of these responses make clear something that's often misunderstood. Introverts generally like people and social interaction. We just find it tiring. So we prefer fewer more meaningful interactions, and like to have a quiet place to escape to.
I have the added problem of some miswiring in my brain that makes it very difficult for me to pick out voices against any background noise. Just listening to someone can be exhausting, and it's so easy to drift into my internal world and stop paying attention.
Add the social anxiety and prosopagnosia, and it's a miracle I can function in public at all. But somehow I do, and it's been worth the effort."
I hear you. You do well to put in the effort. Yeah, introverts usually like the social interaction, is just a matter of how we re-charge. Like a few have said here, alone time re-invigorates more than with groups.
Been nice to read peoples thoughts so far. Cheers. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm not an introvert, but OH finds socialising harder than me.
That said I can easily stand up in front of a few hundred people and talk about what I know, network and work alongside guys mainly all day long due to profession but still find it hard, excruciatingly hard, to walk into that first social meet.
Here too, I often worry what I post will be rubbished and torn to shreds. Or ignored.
So, I guess I'm saying, it truly depends on the circumstances.
Jo
X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm not an introvert, but OH finds socialising harder than me.
That said I can easily stand up in front of a few hundred people and talk about what I know, network and work alongside guys mainly all day long due to profession but still find it hard, excruciatingly hard, to walk into that first social meet.
Here too, I often worry what I post will be rubbished and torn to shreds. Or ignored.
So, I guess I'm saying, it truly depends on the circumstances.
Jo
X "
. I know exactly what you mean |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
