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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you feel you can manage it, go. You’ll have a good time 
And yep, anxiety sucks. Had it for as long as I can remember. My anxiety is sky high at the moment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you feel you can manage it, go. You’ll have a good time
And yep, anxiety sucks. Had it for as long as I can remember. My anxiety is sky high at the moment. "
Need your feet tickled? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you feel you can manage it, go. You’ll have a good time
And yep, anxiety sucks. Had it for as long as I can remember. My anxiety is sky high at the moment.
Need your feet tickled?"
My feet? No  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why get anxious about a bit of charred meat from a greasy grill?
However, find a quiet good pub and order the Sunday roast instead."
It’s the socialising aspect, I’m assuming.
Whenever I have to socialise I always end up having a complete melt down, and have my ‘I’m not going!’ tantrum.
Luckily one of my friends is the exact same, so during our tantrums we’ll phone each other and hype each other up. But if she isn’t there, it sucks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Anxiety is a funny animal, you’ll regret not going at the end of the day and it’s free tasty food and a social.
Take one step at a time, have a shower, put something nice on and relax just moosy on down there! Don’t forget a few drinks on the way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes
I am more confident than I am anxious, but occasionally, it floors me
I have an Olympic Gold in overthinking too
Get your butt to the barbecue
Whatever scenarios you have built in your head won't be evident in reality
A couple of beers and a burger in and you'll be beating yourself up for worrying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, lots of general anxiety but the massive pain is social anxiety.
Take it one step at a time, try not to over think it.
The guys above are completely right!
Feel the fear and do it anyway 
You'll feel like the dogs bollocks for overcoming your anxiety!
Ell |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone suffer from this?
I had 3 anxiety dreams last night, just because I have been invited to a bbq today..I probably won't go and they will be pissed."
Do what's best for you. We end up the only losers when we people please, it sounds like they aren't very understanding or at the least tolerant of your anxiety. You don't need that around you. Is this always with this group of people or is it with groups of people in general? Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can get social anxiety, I empathise with you. Have you looked at Cognitive behavioural therapy? "
Cognitive behavioural therapy has really helped me. I've not long stopped and I still have my bad days but I feel I can cope with alot more now.
I have moments where I see I couldn't have got through things before the therapy but I embrace alot more and can see how far I have come. (I am applying for 2 jobs I would never have looked at).
I also had a PT at the gym who helped so much. He understood my mental state more than indie myself some days. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s hard, but remember everyone feels like this sometimes. At the end of the day no else really notices because honestly they aren’t paying attention to you. We all have our own demons that we are dealing with.
Try to relax, put a smile on, I guarantee you someone there feels exactly the same as you. We are all human x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't suffer from anxiety but I'm not comfortable with some social situations.
The thought of a BBQ sends shivers down my spine for various reasons.
I always ask myself if I really want to go to whatever social event it is.
Sometimes it's not worth the anxiety before I get there.
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I used to suffer badly with it, I found the best thing to do is plough headlong into whatever is making you anxious and just do it rather than hiding from it and ruminating on it. The more you do it the less power the anxiety will have over you. It never goes away completely but becomes background noise that you can push through. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I struggle too. I hope you manage to go. I always feel much better when I manage to push through my anxiety. But if not, you can try again so don't beat yourself up. I don't mind a chat if you ever want to have a talk! |
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"Can you just tell yourself you're only going for 30 min's say and then see how you feel."
This is the issue it's an hour drive so it's not a case of popping in and then if I feel bad making an excuse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can you just tell yourself you're only going for 30 min's say and then see how you feel.
This is the issue it's an hour drive so it's not a case of popping in and then if I feel bad making an excuse"
If you weren't feeling anxious, would you want to go? If you wouldn't really fancy it just don't go. Do something you will enjoy instead.
Do you like driving? I'd go anyway because I like driving. Get some tunes on and maybe stop off on the way back for a brew.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone suffer from this?
I had 3 anxiety dreams last night, just because I have been invited to a bbq today..I probably won't go and they will be pissed.
Do what's best for you. We end up the only losers when we people please, it sounds like they aren't very understanding or at the least tolerant of your anxiety. You don't need that around you. Is this always with this group of people or is it with groups of people in general? Xxx "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A large part of my anxiety has been stressing about what I thought others were thinking.. sometimes I was right.. other times completely wrong. When I looked at the situation in isolation I was much more capable of making a decision based on what I felt.. rather than on an anxious belief that I'd made up.
For a long time I said probably not to everything.. then bit by bit I became more sociable because I felt under no pressure. For me the triggers were my mind, not the event. These days I say yes much more x
Saff |
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"Can you just tell yourself you're only going for 30 min's say and then see how you feel.
This is the issue it's an hour drive so it's not a case of popping in and then if I feel bad making an excuse
If you weren't feeling anxious, would you want to go? If you wouldn't really fancy it just don't go. Do something you will enjoy instead.
Do you like driving? I'd go anyway because I like driving. Get some tunes on and maybe stop off on the way back for a brew.
"
It's an hour drive away so I can't just pop in and only know the host |
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"I struggle too. I hope you manage to go. I always feel much better when I manage to push through my anxiety. But if not, you can try again so don't beat yourself up. I don't mind a chat if you ever want to have a talk! "
Yes I try to.push myself , but this is harder as I only know the host so I have visions of awkward small talk and me saying something odd out of panic and wanting to sink away;) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can you just tell yourself you're only going for 30 min's say and then see how you feel.
This is the issue it's an hour drive so it's not a case of popping in and then if I feel bad making an excuse
If you weren't feeling anxious, would you want to go? If you wouldn't really fancy it just don't go. Do something you will enjoy instead.
Do you like driving? I'd go anyway because I like driving. Get some tunes on and maybe stop off on the way back for a brew.
It's an hour drive away so I can't just pop in and only know the host"
Oh fuck that, I wouldn't bother going!  Do something that makes you smile instead. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you for replying, didnt expect anyone on here to suffer that much as I guess anxiety and taking off your clothes in front of strangers dont usually fo hand in hand  "
There was a thread a few weeks ago by Tea Monkey called Anxiety. I'll bump it. You're not alone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you for replying, didnt expect anyone on here to suffer that much as I guess anxiety and taking off your clothes in front of strangers dont usually fo hand in hand "
Your definatley not alone!
It's been good to see some guys open up about having anxiety too
Whatever decision you make it will be the right one and don't beat yourself up about that choice x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Used to have a lot of anxiety for multiple reasons, best thing to do is just take each action as a complete task, for instance when you are getting ready only think of that as the only task nothing before nothing after, and then traveling from point A to B, just think of it as the only task etc. Also helps to focus on your breathing and closing your eyes counting your breaths very slowly. Hope that helps! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone suffer from this?
I had 3 anxiety dreams last night, just because I have been invited to a bbq today..I probably won't go and they will be pissed."
You seemed ok when we met. I didn’t know you suffered from anxiety. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have social anxiety which doesn't help when arranging socials, but i see that as part of my recovery.. once i am there, I'm fine ...but leading up to it I have cold sweats and panic attacks, and hope the other person cancels! |
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"I can get social anxiety, I empathise with you. Have you looked at Cognitive behavioural therapy?
Cognitive behavioural therapy has really helped me. I've not long stopped and I still have my bad days but I feel I can cope with alot more now.
I have moments where I see I couldn't have got through things before the therapy but I embrace alot more and can see how far I have come. (I am applying for 2 jobs I would never have looked at).
I also had a PT at the gym who helped so much. He understood my mental state more than indie myself some days. "
Good luck going for those jobs |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"I guess anxiety and taking off your clothes in front of strangers dont usually fo hand in hand "
That's the funny thing.
I suffer social anxiety - to the point of sitting on the edge of a bed in a hotel room in London, a few hours before a once-in-a-lifetime event that I really wanted to attend, crying uncontrollably. I felt so much better when I gave myself permission to not go. Of course, I have regretted it ever since.
But going to a club, getting naked in the hot tub, playing in a public room? I'm fine with that. That feels natural. The event that triggered my anxiety the worst had a dress code. One of the royal family was there. It was far out of my experience - I wasn't able to rehearse any of it in my mind, and knew that I didn't know how to behave there. I'd be in unfamiliar clothes, with unfamiliar people, in an unfamiliar place, without any idea of what to do. The rational part of my mind knew that I'd be OK, but I just couldn't get that message to the rest.
The suit I bought for it sat in my wardrobe unused for five years. It finally came out a few weeks ago for a club event. That felt good.
I've had CBT for depression, and it has helped me enormously. In theory I have the tools to apply it to social anxiety now, but triggering events don't come up very often for me (I do my best to avoid them, and am lucky that it's mostly been possible). It hasn't had a real test yet. |
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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
Me!! I tend to get stupidly d*unk to compensate and make a complete of myself!!
Like at our friends wedding last week. I was completely hanging. I dunno why I keep doing it!! Because anxiety is better than it used to be. But it seems to be habit |
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