FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Help advice wanted
Help advice wanted
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I just had a strange experience with someone on here. We have been chatting for a while and finally arranged a meet this Saturday. The meet went great we sat and chatted for a while then went into the bed room for a play which was really good then we chatted he told me he really fancied me and wanted to see me on a regular basis and we chatted for ages and planned what we would like to do for future meets. He left my place with a big smile on his face and said he would text me when he got home. I’ve heard nothing sent him messages on here which he has read and still no reply to any of them or any texts. I thought he was a lovely friendly guy.What happened? |
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He could of got caught up in the heat of the moment. Sometimes we all think differently when we have time to reflet.Or maybe he just hasnt gotten round to having time to send a decent message back.
As _iew said, youve messaged him now wait for him to message you back |
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Some people can't get out of the habits they have used to get a result in the past.
Some people talk without thinking when the cock is in control.
Some people change their mind.
Some people mean "when I am ready for a next time" when they say 'regular'.
Some people get home and find they got too much hassel off of their missus to do it again.
Some people have a list to work through and they'll come back to you when they get to the end of it.
Some people log on and just don't have time there and then to reply.
Some people start to think they said the wrong thing.
I could type these all day and still not get the right one for this guy... so the answer is.... we don't know.... only he does. |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
"Sounds like post-coital euphoria.
Or he just changed his mind.
lol  "
Its happened to me. At the time you think its really strange, but then you realised some people just get a bit carried away at the time and then afterwards they think about it and change their mind....
Ive given up trying to analyse why some people do the things they do...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sounds like post-coital euphoria.
Or he just changed his mind.
lol
Its happened to me. At the time you think its really strange, but then you realised some people just get a bit carried away at the time and then afterwards they think about it and change their mind....
Ive given up trying to analyse why some people do the things they do... "
Happened to me too. Some get carried away in the moment, some not very truthful and never intended to meet again anyway. Move on...NEXT!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sounds like post-coital euphoria.
Or he just changed his mind.
lol
Its happened to me. At the time you think its really strange, but then you realised some people just get a bit carried away at the time and then afterwards they think about it and change their mind....
Ive given up trying to analyse why some people do the things they do... "
i should def try that. I have spent so much time trying to understand peoples motives, and the truth us you will never know for sure, you only end up tieing yourself in knots.
Best thing, move on and if he does get back in touch make sure he puts in some work. Happy hunting.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sounds like post-coital euphoria.
Or he just changed his mind.
lol
Its happened to me. At the time you think its really strange, but then you realised some people just get a bit carried away at the time and then afterwards they think about it and change their mind....
Ive given up trying to analyse why some people do the things they do...
i should def try that. I have spent so much time trying to understand peoples motives, and the truth us you will never know for sure, you only end up tieing yourself in knots.
Best thing, move on and if he does get back in touch make sure he puts in some work. Happy hunting. "
Thank you
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just had a strange experience with someone on here. We have been chatting for a while and finally arranged a meet this Saturday. The meet went great we sat and chatted for a while then went into the bed room for a play which was really good then we chatted he told me he really fancied me and wanted to see me on a regular basis and we chatted for ages and planned what we would like to do for future meets. He left my place with a big smile on his face and said he would text me when he got home. I’ve heard nothing sent him messages on here which he has read and still no reply to any of them or any texts. I thought he was a lovely friendly guy.What happened? "
some guys just get off on buttering peoples egos, id say just going off what you have said that the..oh i really like you and want to meet you again thing was just part of a game when really he had no intentions of meeting again
Personally id make no more contact with him as you keep texting and mailing him may also be part of some game hes playing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"maybe he was just looking for a one night stand and did not tell you the truth
+1"
It sounds very much that way from reading what the OP has said. Move on is the only answer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i never take much notice of what men say to me, if they send me a text saying thanks for a nice time, then i send them one back. I never contact them first, and if someone didnt answere my message, then i wouldnt send them anymore. There are lots of men on here to meet, so why worry about just one. The next man you meet might be better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i never take much notice of what men say to me, if they send me a text saying thanks for a nice time, then i send them one back. I never contact them first, and if someone didnt answere my message, then i wouldnt send them anymore. There are lots of men on here to meet, so why worry about just one. The next man you meet might be better. "
Haha i knew women never listen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i never take much notice of what men say to me, if they send me a text saying thanks for a nice time, then i send them one back. I never contact them first, and if someone didnt answere my message, then i wouldnt send them anymore. There are lots of men on here to meet, so why worry about just one. The next man you meet might be better.
Haha i knew women never listen "
Well, i have heard it all before. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just had a strange experience with someone on here. We have been chatting for a while and finally arranged a meet this Saturday. The meet went great we sat and chatted for a while then went into the bed room for a play which was really good then we chatted he told me he really fancied me and wanted to see me on a regular basis and we chatted for ages and planned what we would like to do for future meets. He left my place with a big smile on his face and said he would text me when he got home. I’ve heard nothing sent him messages on here which he has read and still no reply to any of them or any texts. I thought he was a lovely friendly guy.What happened? "
He's emptied his nuts!!
He'll be back in touch when they are full again or his mrs stops giving him some |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just had a strange experience with someone on here. We have been chatting for a while and finally arranged a meet this Saturday. The meet went great we sat and chatted for a while then went into the bed room for a play which was really good then we chatted he told me he really fancied me and wanted to see me on a regular basis and we chatted for ages and planned what we would like to do for future meets. He left my place with a big smile on his face and said he would text me when he got home. I’ve heard nothing sent him messages on here which he has read and still no reply to any of them or any texts. I thought he was a lovely friendly guy.What happened? "
IMO he pretended to be a nice guy, got laid then ran a mile.. happens all the time with single guys ( not tarring them all with the same brush though) just ignore him.. if he contacts you i would tell him he is a child for reading your messages but not replying to them.. not getting in contact when he said he would
and generally exhibiting asshole like behaviour,,,
Im sure there are lots of excuses for it but not being funny, you say your gonna get in contact, you get in contact even if its just to man up and say "actually what i said; i didn't mean and i lead you on, sorry!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just had a strange experience with someone on here. We have been chatting for a while and finally arranged a meet this Saturday. The meet went great we sat and chatted for a while then went into the bed room for a play which was really good then we chatted he told me he really fancied me and wanted to see me on a regular basis and we chatted for ages and planned what we would like to do for future meets. He left my place with a big smile on his face and said he would text me when he got home. I’ve heard nothing sent him messages on here which he has read and still no reply to any of them or any texts. I thought he was a lovely friendly guy.What happened?
IMO he pretended to be a nice guy, got laid then ran a mile.. happens all the time with single guys ( not tarring them all with the same brush though) just ignore him.. if he contacts you i would tell him he is a child for reading your messages but not replying to them.. not getting in contact when he said he would
and generally exhibiting asshole like behaviour,,,
Im sure there are lots of excuses for it but not being funny, you say your gonna get in contact, you get in contact even if its just to man up and say "actually what i said; i didn't mean and i lead you on, sorry!"
"
What did he do wrong?
I'm not being funny but I get annoyed if meets bombard me with messages after we've met...it puts me off meeting again as I think clingy, needy...hmmm...more trouble than I can be bothered with.
Men I meet I hope it won't be a one off, but even after a good meet sometimes there's no further contact. Personally I'm here for NSA, a good time was had by all...what's the problem?
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
"Men empty their ball bags whisper sweet nothings in your ear then once its empty then they go back to everyday life. "
Which is exactly the way I like it.... Im not looking for a boyfriend.
As long as I get what I want out of it as well, jobs a good 'un |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just had a strange experience with someone on here. We have been chatting for a while and finally arranged a meet this Saturday. The meet went great we sat and chatted for a while then went into the bed room for a play which was really good then we chatted he told me he really fancied me and wanted to see me on a regular basis and we chatted for ages and planned what we would like to do for future meets. He left my place with a big smile on his face and said he would text me when he got home. I’ve heard nothing sent him messages on here which he has read and still no reply to any of them or any texts. I thought he was a lovely friendly guy.What happened?
some guys just get off on buttering peoples egos, id say just going off what you have said that the..oh i really like you and want to meet you again thing was just part of a game when really he had no intentions of meeting again
Personally id make no more contact with him as you keep texting and mailing him may also be part of some game hes playing"
YES some say the things you wish to here ...... and thay even get off on it all at the time ... But alot next day moved to the next woman the next sex fiX to play the same game its a ego thing to some ... makes the sex better thay think ... as it makes you feel not one of a number .I have even come across men like this . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I must admit that although I like a little text/ phone contact immediately prior to a meet, I am not a fan of it afterwards, that is what the message system on here is for, so it would put ME off if someone did that...
As for the rest... if he behaves in that fashion, would you trust him anyway, in the future?
I wouldn't, look at it as a learning curve, he probably isn't your type, if he behaves like this, why would You want HIM? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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pandora,
i think your second post on here sounded good. It sounds like your trying to brush it off and move on which is a good thing. Ur right, plenty more fish on here to play with.
However, when i was on here as a single fem, it was to have fun. If i wanted all the other bollocks/bullshit, id be on a dating site.
We are on this site, because its supposed to be for people who behave like adults, and know what they want....for the most of us good ole nsa fun!
I wonder if some guys on here forget they dont have to buy us girls a bacardi breezer to get us into bed?
Im still hoping he was being sincere with what he was telling you at the time.
If it was me in ur shoes, id be feeling a bit deflated too!
Just remember, its not about you!
good luck, and have fun
x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"pandora,
i think your second post on here sounded good. It sounds like your trying to brush it off and move on which is a good thing. Ur right, plenty more fish on here to play with.
However, when i was on here as a single fem, it was to have fun. If i wanted all the other bollocks/bullshit, id be on a dating site.
We are on this site, because its supposed to be for people who behave like adults, and know what they want....for the most of us good ole nsa fun!
I wonder if some guys on here forget they dont have to buy us girls a bacardi breezer to get us into bed?
Im still hoping he was being sincere with what he was telling you at the time.
If it was me in ur shoes, id be feeling a bit deflated too!
Just remember, its not about you!
good luck, and have fun
x"
Thank you for your kind words. I did feel a bit shocked for a while but feel more angry now. Still i have deleted him from my friends list. i have plenty other friends to be going on with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
What did he do wrong?
I'm not being funny but I get annoyed if meets bombard me with messages after we've met...it puts me off meeting again as I think clingy, needy...hmmm...more trouble than I can be bothered with.
Men I meet I hope it won't be a one off, but even after a good meet sometimes there's no further contact. Personally I'm here for NSA, a good time was had by all...what's the problem?
"
The problem is he said he would do something and he didn't... its just f*cking rude... if someone says they will contact me i expect them to do so.. same as if i say i will contact someone i will do so..
Just because this is a site where people can get all manner of different needs fulfilled doesn't give excuse for people to be rude..
If he didn't actually want to meet her again why lead her to think so... i don't care if people don't contact me again.. as long as they don't say they will...
So IMO - Saying he would be in contact with her again at a specific time and not doing it was what he did wrong... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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His loss. Guess someone people get into the moment too much so say things they don't mean. Your a beautiful woman so surely you have no trouble finding a guy for more than just sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"His loss. Guess someone people get into the moment too much so say things they don't mean. Your a beautiful woman so surely you have no trouble finding a guy for more than just sex."
What has he lost?
No disrespect to the Op intended. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"His loss. Guess someone people get into the moment too much so say things they don't mean. Your a beautiful woman so surely you have no trouble finding a guy for more than just sex."
Thank you x |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
Ok so we have the OPs word how things went, no disrespect to the OP, but the guy in question hasnt had his say, maybe he saw it differently, i still dont see what the big deal is, especially as there are two threads about this same guy .....maybe the OP came across as needy in some way? I dont know just playing devils advocate here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok so we have the OPs word how things went, no disrespect to the OP, but the guy in question hasnt had his say, maybe he saw it differently, i still dont see what the big deal is, especially as there are two threads about this same guy .....maybe the OP came across as needy in some way? I dont know just playing devils advocate here "
If it went bad, why say u'll call/text/get in contact in any way?
if it went well why not call...
if it went ok but then you regretted it later, why not just text/mail and say you are sorry but u thought things were good then you realised that they weren't for you!
no excuse not to get in contact if you say you will... and if you dont want to at the time, no excuse for saying you will... |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Ok so we have the OPs word how things went, no disrespect to the OP, but the guy in question hasnt had his say, maybe he saw it differently, i still dont see what the big deal is, especially as there are two threads about this same guy .....maybe the OP came across as needy in some way? I dont know just playing devils advocate here
If it went bad, why say u'll call/text/get in contact in any way?
if it went well why not call...
if it went ok but then you regretted it later, why not just text/mail and say you are sorry but u thought things were good then you realised that they weren't for you!
no excuse not to get in contact if you say you will... and if you dont want to at the time, no excuse for saying you will..."
But how do we know he said he would? Thats my point! Some guys will say owt we all know that, but then again some women do too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok so we have the OPs word how things went, no disrespect to the OP, but the guy in question hasnt had his say, maybe he saw it differently, i still dont see what the big deal is, especially as there are two threads about this same guy .....maybe the OP came across as needy in some way? I dont know just playing devils advocate here
If it went bad, why say u'll call/text/get in contact in any way?
if it went well why not call...
if it went ok but then you regretted it later, why not just text/mail and say you are sorry but u thought things were good then you realised that they weren't for you!
no excuse not to get in contact if you say you will... and if you dont want to at the time, no excuse for saying you will...But how do we know he said he would? Thats my point! Some guys will say owt we all know that, but then again some women do too"
All we can do is go on what the OP said... it seems as if you want to discredit what she is saying, but tbh i take everything here as a hypothetical... as seen on the page... if the story changes then my response would change.. if he didnt say he would get in contact then fine for him not to, but as the OP said he did, then no excuse not to. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Ok so we have the OPs word how things went, no disrespect to the OP, but the guy in question hasnt had his say, maybe he saw it differently, i still dont see what the big deal is, especially as there are two threads about this same guy .....maybe the OP came across as needy in some way? I dont know just playing devils advocate here
If it went bad, why say u'll call/text/get in contact in any way?
if it went well why not call...
if it went ok but then you regretted it later, why not just text/mail and say you are sorry but u thought things were good then you realised that they weren't for you!
no excuse not to get in contact if you say you will... and if you dont want to at the time, no excuse for saying you will...But how do we know he said he would? Thats my point! Some guys will say owt we all know that, but then again some women do too
All we can do is go on what the OP said... it seems as if you want to discredit what she is saying, but tbh i take everything here as a hypothetical... as seen on the page... if the story changes then my response would change.. if he didnt say he would get in contact then fine for him not to, but as the OP said he did, then no excuse not to."
I think its a bit naive to be honest, and im not trying discredit the OP ..like i said i was playing devils advocate...why were you there as well then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
All we can do is go on what the OP said... it seems as if you want to discredit what she is saying, but tbh i take everything here as a hypothetical... as seen on the page... if the story changes then my response would change.. if he didnt say he would get in contact then fine for him not to, but as the OP said he did, then no excuse not to.
I think its a bit naive to be honest, and im not trying discredit the OP ..like i said i was playing devils advocate...why were you there as well then? "
I don't think its naive at all to take what is said on a forum post as what you should answer,,, only the OP and the other person there know what really went down.. but i'm not concerned with what really went on, i'm concerned with answering the question posted for the circumstances described..
and no i wasn't there, sorry if what i said suggested in any way that i was in any way.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmmm...in my opinion some people seem very needy.
I suppose it depends on your expectations. As I said I don't want to be "pestered". There are some people that contact you the second you log on...creepy. Then there are those you meet once and they want to tattoo your name on their scrotum!
I read messages without replying straight away...funny thing, if a beleaguered single bloke had started this thread he'd have been accused of being pushy and/needy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmmm...in my opinion some people seem very needy.
I suppose it depends on your expectations. As I said I don't want to be "pestered". There are some people that contact you the second you log on...creepy. Then there are those you meet once and they want to tattoo your name on their scrotum!
I read messages without replying straight away...funny thing, if a beleaguered single bloke had started this thread he'd have been accused of being pushy and/needy."
Got to agree with a lot of that 2 threads on this now and it looks a bit bunny in the pot ish looking from some angles.
As a bloke we will say anything we can to get out when the post shagging clingy bit starts. Yeh you say nice things cos if you said...Hey babe thanks for the fuck but im not coming back for more you would get scratched or worse.
Not strong on tact but know its best to leave on polite note if you dont want your car bricked as you leave. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have to admit that I can't really see what the guy has done wrong either. In fact I do a similar thing too.
If we have a meet with a single guy and we've had a great time, then after its all finished and we're at the door, shaking hands and cheek kissing goodbye, the usual thing said is 'hey it was great perhaps do it again sometime' and I always say 'yeah we must, had a wonderful time'. I don't actually mean that its a definite repeat meet arrangement. It seems more polite than saying 'no I don't want to see you again because there are too many nice guys and I don't do repeats'.
Of course I have on occasions met guys more than once but I don't expect to be seriously held to account on what I've said on the way out after a good meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have to admit that I can't really see what the guy has done wrong either. In fact I do a similar thing too.
If we have a meet with a single guy and we've had a great time, then after its all finished and we're at the door, shaking hands and cheek kissing goodbye, the usual thing said is 'hey it was great perhaps do it again sometime' and I always say 'yeah we must, had a wonderful time'. I don't actually mean that its a definite repeat meet arrangement. It seems more polite than saying 'no I don't want to see you again because there are too many nice guys and I don't do repeats'.
Of course I have on occasions met guys more than once but I don't expect to be seriously held to account on what I've said on the way out after a good meet "
But do you notice you don't say " ill be in contact at X time" its all general and left open... you havent committed to doing anything.. there is nothing wrong with being nice at the end.. but telling someone you will do something definitively and then not doing it... thats whats wrong with the situation.. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
well like i said... some people will say whatever they need to say to get said leg over, and some people want to hear what they want to hear...
did it work.... yep.....
will they do it again... probably...
person got what they wanted.... result...
if it bugs the OP that they fell for lines, the maybe a change of tack and a change in the process of deciding who they swing with is more the order of the day.....
it may sound harsh... but last time I remember it kinda takes two to tango...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have to admit that I can't really see what the guy has done wrong either. In fact I do a similar thing too.
If we have a meet with a single guy and we've had a great time, then after its all finished and we're at the door, shaking hands and cheek kissing goodbye, the usual thing said is 'hey it was great perhaps do it again sometime' and I always say 'yeah we must, had a wonderful time'. I don't actually mean that its a definite repeat meet arrangement. It seems more polite than saying 'no I don't want to see you again because there are too many nice guys and I don't do repeats'.
Of course I have on occasions met guys more than once but I don't expect to be seriously held to account on what I've said on the way out after a good meet
But do you notice you don't say " ill be in contact at X time" its all general and left open... you havent committed to doing anything.. there is nothing wrong with being nice at the end.. but telling someone you will do something definitively and then not doing it... thats whats wrong with the situation.."
Yeh right nobody ever says i'll meet you at X o clock and doesn't. Wrong maybe, putting up threads about another user not contacting you again worse.
If you want to get out without a scene you say anything we all do to stop hissyfits. Lots of women on here looking for a lot MORE than a casual fuck! Knights of the cock beware you could say.
Me i wasn't there so all i am doing is give a potential possible reason for the guy who hasn't had the opportunity to give his side. |
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By *enithWoman
over a year ago
closer than you think |
I've been in a similar position to the OP .... been told "hey it was great we must do this again" and they have left to go home.
In the time it has taken him to get home I have left him a verification which is proudly displayed on this profile .... what do I get? Nothing, zilch
Yes it used to bother me but I soon learnt the hard way .... some blokes will say anything to get what they want
Then I woke up and smelt the roses lol
Next ........ !!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ps its called fuck n run! Not saying its right not saying its wrong but this isnt a dating site no strings are the norm."
Nothing wrong with a fuck and go, but if that's all you want don't lead people to think you want more...
that's all i'm saying... you wouldn't be happy if you went to a shop that was advertising boot laces and you got there and found that they only sold shoe laces.. why should you be happy if someone says they want to contact you again and they don't ...just because your on a swingers site doesn't excuse rude and misleading behaviour in such a fashion...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ps its called fuck n run! Not saying its right not saying its wrong but this isnt a dating site no strings are the norm.
Nothing wrong with a fuck and go, but if that's all you want don't lead people to think you want more...
that's all i'm saying... you wouldn't be happy if you went to a shop that was advertising boot laces and you got there and found that they only sold shoe laces.. why should you be happy if someone says they want to contact you again and they don't ...just because your on a swingers site doesn't excuse rude and misleading behaviour in such a fashion...
"
If you weren't there you don't know do ya. I wasn't so i dont either. Have you never said one thing and meant another? Should he have said thanks but i won't be back? I would bet less than 10 in 100 ever say there and then on leaving they won't be back! Fuck we don't even do it in restaurants when the food is not what you hoped for and you are paying for that.
Its not a shoe shop, no laces for sale, no guaranteed re-meets. Think on women on here reply to a small percentage of messages sent to guys. So you cant help a guy for thinking its the norm and doing the same. |
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"Ps its called fuck n run! Not saying its right not saying its wrong but this isnt a dating site no strings are the norm.
Nothing wrong with a fuck and go, but if that's all you want don't lead people to think you want more...
that's all i'm saying... you wouldn't be happy if you went to a shop that was advertising boot laces and you got there and found that they only sold shoe laces.. why should you be happy if someone says they want to contact you again and they don't ...just because your on a swingers site doesn't excuse rude and misleading behaviour in such a fashion...
"
It is different though, this is a swingers site for nsa. We dont know what was actually said what we do know is the op has messaged him more than once and text him more than once without reply. One text or one message i can understand, but to send more without recieving any. Maybe he was interested and got put off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ps its called fuck n run! Not saying its right not saying its wrong but this isnt a dating site no strings are the norm.
Nothing wrong with a fuck and go, but if that's all you want don't lead people to think you want more...
that's all i'm saying... you wouldn't be happy if you went to a shop that was advertising boot laces and you got there and found that they only sold shoe laces.. why should you be happy if someone says they want to contact you again and they don't ...just because your on a swingers site doesn't excuse rude and misleading behaviour in such a fashion...
It is different though, this is a swingers site for nsa. We dont know what was actually said what we do know is the op has messaged him more than once and text him more than once without reply. One text or one message i can understand, but to send more without recieving any. Maybe he was interested and got put off"
people look for NSA and repeat meets on here... but its not about what site we are on or not.. its about the fact that someone said they would do something at a specific time and they didn't... people rain all hell on time wasters that dont show for meets... whats the difference? its still rude to say you will do something and not do it! no matter what site your on! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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and before anyone says we dont know what was said.. i will reiterate no we dont know! but we are talking about the post and thats what the post says... so thats what im talking about.. im sure if it hasnt happened to the OP its happened to others ( luckily i havent experienced this yet - all the people who say they will do something have done it - barring one no show in the early days) |
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"Ps its called fuck n run! Not saying its right not saying its wrong but this isnt a dating site no strings are the norm.
Nothing wrong with a fuck and go, but if that's all you want don't lead people to think you want more...
that's all i'm saying... you wouldn't be happy if you went to a shop that was advertising boot laces and you got there and found that they only sold shoe laces.. why should you be happy if someone says they want to contact you again and they don't ...just because your on a swingers site doesn't excuse rude and misleading behaviour in such a fashion...
It is different though, this is a swingers site for nsa. We dont know what was actually said what we do know is the op has messaged him more than once and text him more than once without reply. One text or one message i can understand, but to send more without recieving any. Maybe he was interested and got put off
people look for NSA and repeat meets on here... but its not about what site we are on or not.. its about the fact that someone said they would do something at a specific time and they didn't... people rain all hell on time wasters that dont show for meets... whats the difference? its still rude to say you will do something and not do it! no matter what site your on! "
But it could be equally _iewed as invading someones privacy by constantly messaging them. Noone knows anything but real life gets in the way, have you never said you would ring or speak to someone at a certain time then either forgotten or done it later. Perhaps hewas just going to do it later, but noone knows. Bloody hell next we will be having to sign agreements before we meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ps its called fuck n run! Not saying its right not saying its wrong but this isnt a dating site no strings are the norm.
Nothing wrong with a fuck and go, but if that's all you want don't lead people to think you want more...
that's all i'm saying... you wouldn't be happy if you went to a shop that was advertising boot laces and you got there and found that they only sold shoe laces.. why should you be happy if someone says they want to contact you again and they don't ...just because your on a swingers site doesn't excuse rude and misleading behaviour in such a fashion...
It is different though, this is a swingers site for nsa. We dont know what was actually said what we do know is the op has messaged him more than once and text him more than once without reply. One text or one message i can understand, but to send more without recieving any. Maybe he was interested and got put off
people look for NSA and repeat meets on here... but its not about what site we are on or not.. its about the fact that someone said they would do something at a specific time and they didn't... people rain all hell on time wasters that dont show for meets... whats the difference? its still rude to say you will do something and not do it! no matter what site your on!
But it could be equally _iewed as invading someones privacy by constantly messaging them. Noone knows anything but real life gets in the way, have you never said you would ring or speak to someone at a certain time then either forgotten or done it later. Perhaps hewas just going to do it later, but noone knows. Bloody hell next we will be having to sign agreements before we meet"
I don't say i will do something then not do it... and if i said i would do something and someone messaged me to ask why i hadn't i certainly wouldn't ignore them... but i guess that just because i was bought up with morals and decency. which apparently i'm allowed to forget now that im a swinger...  i doubt very much you could forget to text the person you were just shagging when you get home.. it cant be that far away.. and if you did forget and you got a message and you did infact intend to text or call, you would go " oh shit sorry i forgot im such an idiot" not ignore them... your making out like she is obsessively texting and calling him 24/7 but she said messages,, that could be as little as 2... one to say why didnt you call, the next to say why did you read that and ignore it...
All i can comment on is what is put before me and with the information given and assuming people are within the parameters of normal human behaviour not obsessive psychopaths, the guy was in the wrong.. he shouldn't have said he was gonna do something he had no intention of doing.. which clearly by his lack of contact and ignoring of messages he didn't
Like i said before, nothing wrong with not contacting after a meet, if you didnt say you would after all lots of people looking for nsa,, but if you say u'll contact when you get home.. why not just do it, its the polite and courteous thing to do .. even if its to say i had a good night thanks, but im not sure i want to meet again..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ps its called fuck n run! Not saying its right not saying its wrong but this isnt a dating site no strings are the norm.
Nothing wrong with a fuck and go, but if that's all you want don't lead people to think you want more...
that's all i'm saying... you wouldn't be happy if you went to a shop that was advertising boot laces and you got there and found that they only sold shoe laces.. why should you be happy if someone says they want to contact you again and they don't ...just because your on a swingers site doesn't excuse rude and misleading behaviour in such a fashion...
It is different though, this is a swingers site for nsa. We dont know what was actually said what we do know is the op has messaged him more than once and text him more than once without reply. One text or one message i can understand, but to send more without recieving any. Maybe he was interested and got put off
people look for NSA and repeat meets on here... but its not about what site we are on or not.. its about the fact that someone said they would do something at a specific time and they didn't... people rain all hell on time wasters that dont show for meets... whats the difference? its still rude to say you will do something and not do it! no matter what site your on!
But it could be equally _iewed as invading someones privacy by constantly messaging them. Noone knows anything but real life gets in the way, have you never said you would ring or speak to someone at a certain time then either forgotten or done it later. Perhaps hewas just going to do it later, but noone knows. Bloody hell next we will be having to sign agreements before we meet
I don't say i will do something then not do it... and if i said i would do something and someone messaged me to ask why i hadn't i certainly wouldn't ignore them... but i guess that just because i was bought up with morals and decency. which apparently i'm allowed to forget now that im a swinger... i doubt very much you could forget to text the person you were just shagging when you get home.. it cant be that far away.. and if you did forget and you got a message and you did infact intend to text or call, you would go " oh shit sorry i forgot im such an idiot" not ignore them... your making out like she is obsessively texting and calling him 24/7 but she said messages,, that could be as little as 2... one to say why didnt you call, the next to say why did you read that and ignore it...
All i can comment on is what is put before me and with the information given and assuming people are within the parameters of normal human behaviour not obsessive psychopaths, the guy was in the wrong.. he shouldn't have said he was gonna do something he had no intention of doing.. which clearly by his lack of contact and ignoring of messages he didn't
Like i said before, nothing wrong with not contacting after a meet, if you didnt say you would after all lots of people looking for nsa,, but if you say u'll contact when you get home.. why not just do it, its the polite and courteous thing to do .. even if its to say i had a good night thanks, but im not sure i want to meet again..
"
There are always 2 sides to a story. We have had people put threads up about us which were so biased it was unbelievable. I Wouldn’t be surprised if the guy in question finds this thread came on and said he had received a dozen messages and a dozen texts and panicked that he had got someone stalking him. To put up two thread about someone not calling them rings bells in the first place.
As for morals and decency! Well if you quote morals decency to 90 percent of the general public then swinging wouldn’t be in it. That doesn’t make it wrong though. I can only assume you haven’t come across some of the stalkers there are about on line as you would look at things differently if you had.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
As for morals and decency! Well if you quote morals decency to 90 percent of the general public then swinging wouldn’t be in it. That doesn’t make it wrong though. I can only assume you haven’t come across some of the stalkers there are about on line as you would look at things differently if you had.
"
Before i met my partner when i was on a uk sex site as a single fem, i had a guy who got obsessive and ott but i just reported him and blocked him and he came back with a new pro but i threatened to call the police, reported him again and didnt hear from him again.. but i have heard the stories from other people about how far people will go, but i also hear the stories about people that get into taxis and get taken off to the woods and raped and murdered... doesnt mean that every time i get in a taxi and the guy drives past some woods im sitting there like omg im gonna get murdered... people jump to the wrong conclusions about women getting upset on sites like this.. not everyone is a creepy stalker or a bunny boiler,,, some people just appreciate basic politeness and common courtesy...
HEY! i could be wrong about the OP.. but personally i like to think that not everyone is a psycho stalker... and there were 2 posts in 2 different forums.. one in lounge and one in help and advice.. not everyone reads all the forums.. i know i didnt used to.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmmm...in my opinion some people seem very needy.
I suppose it depends on your expectations. As I said I don't want to be "pestered". There are some people that contact you the second you log on...creepy. Then there are those you meet once and they want to tattoo your name on their scrotum!
I read messages without replying straight away...funny thing, if a beleaguered single bloke had started this thread he'd have been accused of being pushy and/needy.
Got to agree with a lot of that 2 threads on this now and it looks a bit bunny in the pot ish looking from some angles.
As a bloke we will say anything we can to get out when the post shagging clingy bit starts. Yeh you say nice things cos if you said...Hey babe thanks for the fuck but im not coming back for more you would get scratched or worse.
Not strong on tact but know its best to leave on polite note if you dont want your car bricked as you leave."
Lol!
By the way,  to the earlier quote. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
As for morals and decency! Well if you quote morals decency to 90 percent of the general public then swinging wouldn’t be in it. That doesn’t make it wrong though. I can only assume you haven’t come across some of the stalkers there are about on line as you would look at things differently if you had.
Before i met my partner when i was on a uk sex site as a single fem, i had a guy who got obsessive and ott but i just reported him and blocked him and he came back with a new pro but i threatened to call the police, reported him again and didnt hear from him again.. but i have heard the stories from other people about how far people will go, but i also hear the stories about people that get into taxis and get taken off to the woods and raped and murdered... doesnt mean that every time i get in a taxi and the guy drives past some woods im sitting there like omg im gonna get murdered... people jump to the wrong conclusions about women getting upset on sites like this.. not everyone is a creepy stalker or a bunny boiler,,, some people just appreciate basic politeness and common courtesy...
HEY! i could be wrong about the OP.. but personally i like to think that not everyone is a psycho stalker... and there were 2 posts in 2 different forums.. one in lounge and one in help and advice.. not everyone reads all the forums.. i know i didnt used to.. "
And how many people put threads up about not getting called. If you mailed everyone on this site I would bet hundreds had the same today. No not everyone is a stalker far from it only a small percentage.
Common politeness well do you reply to every message you are sent? Do you reply to every text? People don't its life and has little to do with politeness or life would be one endless round or messages because you have to reply to everyone you have met/chatted to or said hello to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
As for morals and decency! Well if you quote morals decency to 90 percent of the general public then swinging wouldn’t be in it. That doesn’t make it wrong though. I can only assume you haven’t come across some of the stalkers there are about on line as you would look at things differently if you had.
Before i met my partner when i was on a uk sex site as a single fem, i had a guy who got obsessive and ott but i just reported him and blocked him and he came back with a new pro but i threatened to call the police, reported him again and didnt hear from him again.. but i have heard the stories from other people about how far people will go, but i also hear the stories about people that get into taxis and get taken off to the woods and raped and murdered... doesnt mean that every time i get in a taxi and the guy drives past some woods im sitting there like omg im gonna get murdered... people jump to the wrong conclusions about women getting upset on sites like this.. not everyone is a creepy stalker or a bunny boiler,,, some people just appreciate basic politeness and common courtesy...
HEY! i could be wrong about the OP.. but personally i like to think that not everyone is a psycho stalker... and there were 2 posts in 2 different forums.. one in lounge and one in help and advice.. not everyone reads all the forums.. i know i didnt used to..
And how many people put threads up about not getting called. If you mailed everyone on this site I would bet hundreds had the same today. No not everyone is a stalker far from it only a small percentage.
Common politeness well do you reply to every message you are sent? Do you reply to every text? People don't its life and has little to do with politeness or life would be one endless round or messages because you have to reply to everyone you have met/chatted to or said hello to. "
I always reply to every message that needs a reply... if someone sends a message saying ok, it doesnt need a reply... but if someone sends one asking a question or introducing themselves or saying im coming over soon then i will reply... but lucky for me i dont get too many messages.. lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe he was TOO polite saying he would call her. A less polite man could have said it was disappointing and he didn't really enjoy it so would never see her again.
I am sure many have met and thought that but i would be willing to bet the numbers saying something truthful would be low.
No message is better than been told some things you might not want to hear. Politeness can be very objective. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
As for morals and decency! Well if you quote morals decency to 90 percent of the general public then swinging wouldn’t be in it. That doesn’t make it wrong though. I can only assume you haven’t come across some of the stalkers there are about on line as you would look at things differently if you had.
Before i met my partner when i was on a uk sex site as a single fem, i had a guy who got obsessive and ott but i just reported him and blocked him and he came back with a new pro but i threatened to call the police, reported him again and didnt hear from him again.. but i have heard the stories from other people about how far people will go, but i also hear the stories about people that get into taxis and get taken off to the woods and raped and murdered... doesnt mean that every time i get in a taxi and the guy drives past some woods im sitting there like omg im gonna get murdered... people jump to the wrong conclusions about women getting upset on sites like this.. not everyone is a creepy stalker or a bunny boiler,,, some people just appreciate basic politeness and common courtesy...
HEY! i could be wrong about the OP.. but personally i like to think that not everyone is a psycho stalker... and there were 2 posts in 2 different forums.. one in lounge and one in help and advice.. not everyone reads all the forums.. i know i didnt used to..
And how many people put threads up about not getting called. If you mailed everyone on this site I would bet hundreds had the same today. No not everyone is a stalker far from it only a small percentage.
Common politeness well do you reply to every message you are sent? Do you reply to every text? People don't its life and has little to do with politeness or life would be one endless round or messages because you have to reply to everyone you have met/chatted to or said hello to.
I always reply to every message that needs a reply... "
Oh so you don't reply to every message? If you deem them not worthy a reply its fine not to then and isn't being rude? That is dual standards plain and simple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe he was TOO polite saying he would call her. A less polite man could have said it was disappointing and he didn't really enjoy it so would never see her again.
I am sure many have met and thought that but i would be willing to bet the numbers saying something truthful would be low.
No message is better than been told some things you might not want to hear. Politeness can be very objective."
There is something in between
Its not about being harsh and saying well actually u had a bucket fanny and i didnt fancy you, of course people are gonna say i had a good meet.. but people dont have to say they will contact you when they get home if they have no intention of doing so..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I always reply to every message that needs a reply...
Oh so you don't reply to every message? If you deem them not worthy a reply its fine not to then and isn't being rude? That is dual standards plain and simple."
No, its not dual standards.. its common practice.. Ok is usually the end of a text conversation... if they wanted continuation they would elaborate or ask another question... there isnt really much you can say to ok...
Your being a little OTT, it just about what is acceptable in a normal functioning society. and saying you will do something and not doing it isnt acceptable. if you did that in your job you would be fired.. why is it so acceptable when your on a swingers site |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe he was TOO polite saying he would call her. A less polite man could have said it was disappointing and he didn't really enjoy it so would never see her again.
I am sure many have met and thought that but i would be willing to bet the numbers saying something truthful would be low.
No message is better than been told some things you might not want to hear. Politeness can be very objective.
There is something in between
Its not about being harsh and saying well actually u had a bucket fanny and i didnt fancy you, of course people are gonna say i had a good meet.. but people dont have to say they will contact you when they get home if they have no intention of doing so..
"
I think you have a vested interest as you clearly don't live in the real world. People say one thing and then change their mind and its NOT a sin its far better to say nothing than say something that would upset another.
And you have absolutely no idea what his intentions were/are on leaving and arriving home and i would go as far as to say its pretentious to make assumptions to say the least. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I always reply to every message that needs a reply...
Oh so you don't reply to every message? If you deem them not worthy a reply its fine not to then and isn't being rude? That is dual standards plain and simple.
No, its not dual standards.. its common practice.. Ok is usually the end of a text conversation... if they wanted continuation they would elaborate or ask another question... there isnt really much you can say to ok...
Your being a little OTT, it just about what is acceptable in a normal functioning society. and saying you will do something and not doing it isnt acceptable. if you did that in your job you would be fired.. why is it so acceptable when your on a swingers site "
So you are rude and don't reply to every message then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I think you have a vested interest as you clearly don't live in the real world. People say one thing and then change their mind and its NOT a sin its far better to say nothing than say something that would upset another.
And you have absolutely no idea what his intentions were/are on leaving and arriving home and i would go as far as to say its pretentious to make assumptions to say the least."
I do live in the real world, that doesnt mean i have to like peoples rudeness... that doesnt make it any more acceptable to say you will do something and not do it... if someone didnt turn up to a meet people would be annoyed. |
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six years ago i met a guy offline he went home and i never heard from him again. i never messaged him. three weeks later he popped up and gave me a reason why he hadnt been in touch. the reason i know the reason was genuine is because six years on im still seeing him. might have been a different story if id bombarded him with messages |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I always reply to every message that needs a reply...
Oh so you don't reply to every message? If you deem them not worthy a reply its fine not to then and isn't being rude? That is dual standards plain and simple.
No, its not dual standards.. its common practice.. Ok is usually the end of a text conversation... if they wanted continuation they would elaborate or ask another question... there isnt really much you can say to ok...
Your being a little OTT, it just about what is acceptable in a normal functioning society. and saying you will do something and not doing it isnt acceptable. if you did that in your job you would be fired.. why is it so acceptable when your on a swingers site
So you are rude and don't reply to every message then? "
Its not rude because i didnt agree to reply to a message that says ok... if i said to someone i would reply to their every message then yeah it would be rude.. but you dont continue the conversation after its over... that would just be stupid.. but you do, do what you say you are going to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I think you have a vested interest as you clearly don't live in the real world. People say one thing and then change their mind and its NOT a sin its far better to say nothing than say something that would upset another.
And you have absolutely no idea what his intentions were/are on leaving and arriving home and i would go as far as to say its pretentious to make assumptions to say the least.
I do live in the real world, that doesnt mean i have to like peoples rudeness... that doesnt make it any more acceptable to say you will do something and not do it... if someone didnt turn up to a meet people would be annoyed."
So you have never ever said you would do one thing and failed to do it in your life?
And this is not about someone turning up to a meet as you said before you can only go on what the OP said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I always reply to every message that needs a reply...
Oh so you don't reply to every message? If you deem them not worthy a reply its fine not to then and isn't being rude? That is dual standards plain and simple.
No, its not dual standards.. its common practice.. Ok is usually the end of a text conversation... if they wanted continuation they would elaborate or ask another question... there isnt really much you can say to ok...
Your being a little OTT, it just about what is acceptable in a normal functioning society. and saying you will do something and not doing it isnt acceptable. if you did that in your job you would be fired.. why is it so acceptable when your on a swingers site
So you are rude and don't reply to every message then?
Its not rude because i didnt agree to reply to a message that says ok... if i said to someone i would reply to their every message then yeah it would be rude.. but you dont continue the conversation after its over... that would just be stupid.. but you do, do what you say you are going to. "
So if someone mails you and says hi how are you today you will be polite and reply? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I think you have a vested interest as you clearly don't live in the real world. People say one thing and then change their mind and its NOT a sin its far better to say nothing than say something that would upset another.
And you have absolutely no idea what his intentions were/are on leaving and arriving home and i would go as far as to say its pretentious to make assumptions to say the least.
I do live in the real world, that doesnt mean i have to like peoples rudeness... that doesnt make it any more acceptable to say you will do something and not do it... if someone didnt turn up to a meet people would be annoyed.
So you have never ever said you would do one thing and failed to do it in your life?
And this is not about someone turning up to a meet as you said before you can only go on what the OP said. "
If i have had to not do something i said i was going to do, like attend a party but i get sick etc i always get in contact and apologise, why because its the polite thing to do. i wouldn't not do what i said i was gonna do then go and ignore the person who i was supposed to do it with or for..
I wasnt saying it was about someone turning up to a meet i was using it as a comparison.. someone said they would turn up to a meet and they didnt... someone said they would get in contact and they didnt... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I always reply to every message that needs a reply...
Oh so you don't reply to every message? If you deem them not worthy a reply its fine not to then and isn't being rude? That is dual standards plain and simple.
No, its not dual standards.. its common practice.. Ok is usually the end of a text conversation... if they wanted continuation they would elaborate or ask another question... there isnt really much you can say to ok...
Your being a little OTT, it just about what is acceptable in a normal functioning society. and saying you will do something and not doing it isnt acceptable. if you did that in your job you would be fired.. why is it so acceptable when your on a swingers site
So you are rude and don't reply to every message then?
Its not rude because i didnt agree to reply to a message that says ok... if i said to someone i would reply to their every message then yeah it would be rude.. but you dont continue the conversation after its over... that would just be stupid.. but you do, do what you say you are going to.
So if someone mails you and says hi how are you today you will be polite and reply?"
Yeah, i always reply,,, yes even to single guys who we arent looking for.. and i say sorry we arent looking for single guys atm but thanks for the message we are good u ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I think you have a vested interest as you clearly don't live in the real world. People say one thing and then change their mind and its NOT a sin its far better to say nothing than say something that would upset another.
And you have absolutely no idea what his intentions were/are on leaving and arriving home and i would go as far as to say its pretentious to make assumptions to say the least.
I do live in the real world, that doesnt mean i have to like peoples rudeness... that doesnt make it any more acceptable to say you will do something and not do it... if someone didnt turn up to a meet people would be annoyed.
So you have never ever said you would do one thing and failed to do it in your life?
And this is not about someone turning up to a meet as you said before you can only go on what the OP said.
If i have had to not do something i said i was going to do, like attend a party but i get sick etc i always get in contact and apologise, why because its the polite thing to do. i wouldn't not do what i said i was gonna do then go and ignore the person who i was supposed to do it with or for..
I wasnt saying it was about someone turning up to a meet i was using it as a comparison.. someone said they would turn up to a meet and they didnt... someone said they would get in contact and they didnt... "
Well when you said you would come to our party and failed to turn up you never apologised or contacted us!
You see its easy to type something here and it not necessarily be factually correct.
You no doubt will argue a point till dawn not because you think a point is right but more to the fact you like to argue and being objective, trying to look at both sides do not come into it. I will leave you to come back with what ever you feel you have to.
You can apologise not for not attending our party on the summit of Everest last month though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe he was TOO polite saying he would call her. A less polite man could have said it was disappointing and he didn't really enjoy it so would never see her again.
I am sure many have met and thought that but i would be willing to bet the numbers saying something truthful would be low.
No message is better than been told some things you might not want to hear. Politeness can be very objective.
There is something in between
Its not about being harsh and saying well actually u had a bucket fanny and i didnt fancy you, of course people are gonna say i had a good meet.. but people dont have to say they will contact you when they get home if they have no intention of doing so.. "
So because he said he would, it's an agreement that they have to meet up regularly? Even if his intentions have changed? I don't think so and I don't think most people here operates that way.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I think you have a vested interest as you clearly don't live in the real world. People say one thing and then change their mind and its NOT a sin its far better to say nothing than say something that would upset another.
And you have absolutely no idea what his intentions were/are on leaving and arriving home and i would go as far as to say its pretentious to make assumptions to say the least.
I do live in the real world, that doesnt mean i have to like peoples rudeness... that doesnt make it any more acceptable to say you will do something and not do it... if someone didnt turn up to a meet people would be annoyed.
So you have never ever said you would do one thing and failed to do it in your life?
And this is not about someone turning up to a meet as you said before you can only go on what the OP said.
If i have had to not do something i said i was going to do, like attend a party but i get sick etc i always get in contact and apologise, why because its the polite thing to do. i wouldn't not do what i said i was gonna do then go and ignore the person who i was supposed to do it with or for..
I wasnt saying it was about someone turning up to a meet i was using it as a comparison.. someone said they would turn up to a meet and they didnt... someone said they would get in contact and they didnt...
Well when you said you would come to our party and failed to turn up you never apologised or contacted us!
You see its easy to type something here and it not necessarily be factually correct.
You no doubt will argue a point till dawn not because you think a point is right but more to the fact you like to argue and being objective, trying to look at both sides do not come into it. I will leave you to come back with what ever you feel you have to.
You can apologise not for not attending our party on the summit of Everest last month though. "
Well i do truely apologise for not attending your party however i was not aware that i had fully agreed to attend your party at the summit of everest... please accept my humblest apologies and i hope this hasnt affected our friendship..
See that wasn't hard...
and just as an fyi.. as much as a like a good debate,, i only debate the points that i actually agree with and think are correct and if i am proven wrong then i will accept that and say so.. im not so up my own arse that i can't accept when im wrong but wanting people to be polite isnt wrong... or is it ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe he was TOO polite saying he would call her. A less polite man could have said it was disappointing and he didn't really enjoy it so would never see her again.
I am sure many have met and thought that but i would be willing to bet the numbers saying something truthful would be low.
No message is better than been told some things you might not want to hear. Politeness can be very objective.
There is something in between
Its not about being harsh and saying well actually u had a bucket fanny and i didnt fancy you, of course people are gonna say i had a good meet.. but people dont have to say they will contact you when they get home if they have no intention of doing so..
So because he said he would, it's an agreement that they have to meet up regularly? Even if his intentions have changed? I don't think so and I don't think most people here operates that way.
"
No, he doesnt have to,, but be polite enough to say so and just not leave people waiting... as i said before...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ps its called fuck n run! Not saying its right not saying its wrong but this isnt a dating site no strings are the norm."
100% agree but why not just say that when you meet, to be honest if i met someone and he told me he really liked me and wanted to meet me again and sat talking about what we would do on abother meet id tell him to bugger iff because thats not what im after, but i cant see why someone would say such things like i'll text you, i want tomeet you again if they dont |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ps its called fuck n run! Not saying its right not saying its wrong but this isnt a dating site no strings are the norm.
100% agree but why not just say that when you meet, to be honest if i met someone and he told me he really liked me and wanted to meet me again and sat talking about what we would do on abother meet id tell him to bugger iff because thats not what im after, but i cant see why someone would say such things like i'll text you, i want tomeet you again if they dont "
Because its a swingers site and thats what people do  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just had a strange experience with someone on here. We have been chatting for a while and finally arranged a meet this Saturday. The meet went great we sat and chatted for a while then went into the bed room for a play which was really good then we chatted he told me he really fancied me and wanted to see me on a regular basis and we chatted for ages and planned what we would like to do for future meets. He left my place with a big smile on his face and said he would text me when he got home. I’ve heard nothing sent him messages on here which he has read and still no reply to any of them or any texts. I thought he was a lovely friendly guy.What happened? "
Sounds to me he's a player, knows exactly what to say and how to say it. But agree with other comments dont text or message him again, if he hasnt replied to any of your messages to be blunt it's because he doesn't want to. Maybe 'reality' hit home or maybe he had a fit of conscience whichever it was theres nothing to have stopped him replaying..apart from himself!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe the OP wanted more of something else and she scared him away."
Have to admit to thinking the same thing.
I always meet socially before a play meet. Met one man who bombarded me with messages before I got back to my office...I work five minutes away.
I didn't reply as I thought he was displaying signs of being pushy. I'd have played with him too but I didn't want him turning up with available dates for a wedding and colour swatches for my bedroom.
Another meet took two years from social to play, work and family got in the way but both of us trust the other in our homes as we didn't take the "i'll talk to you later" comment literally and become clingy.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe the OP wanted more of something else and she scared him away.
Have to admit to thinking the same thing.
I always meet socially before a play meet. Met one man who bombarded me with messages before I got back to my office...I work five minutes away.
I didn't reply as I thought he was displaying signs of being pushy. I'd have played with him too but I didn't want him turning up with available dates for a wedding and colour swatches for my bedroom.
Another meet took two years from social to play, work and family got in the way but both of us trust the other in our homes as we didn't take the "i'll talk to you later" comment literally and become clingy.
"
and this is why people dont learn,,, if you had just text him back and said " look your being pushy and its putting me off" likelyhood is he would have been like " oh sorry i thought from other women and movies and the like that is what women wanted" but if you leave people hanging they have nothing but their minds to work with and hollywood movies...
also, ill talk to you later,,, and ill text you when i get home are two very different sentences...
one is defining an action at a the occurrence of a certain event, i.e getting home,
and the other is saying later.. meaning any time between now and the end of time... later this week, later this year, later this millenium none of those were specified, just later... big difference..
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The problem is he said he would do something and he didn't... its just f*cking rude... if someone says they will contact me i expect them to do so.. same as if i say i will contact someone i will do so..
Just because this is a site where people can get all manner of different needs fulfilled doesn't give excuse for people to be rude..
If he didn't actually want to meet her again why lead her to think so... i don't care if people don't contact me again.. as long as they don't say they will...
So IMO - Saying he would be in contact with her again at a specific time and not doing it was what he did wrong... "
Have you even stopped to think of it from another point of _iew.
Guy has a good night, thinks the woman is pretty chilled and laid back and likes the idea of something fun but uncomplicated.
Gets home and something distracts him… you know life does that sometimes.
Next thing he knows he has multiple messages and texts from the woman he thought was not the clingy type… not one text, texts plural…. not one message, messages plural.
On a personal note, I’d be running for the hills.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
The problem is he said he would do something and he didn't... its just f*cking rude... if someone says they will contact me i expect them to do so.. same as if i say i will contact someone i will do so..
Just because this is a site where people can get all manner of different needs fulfilled doesn't give excuse for people to be rude..
If he didn't actually want to meet her again why lead her to think so... i don't care if people don't contact me again.. as long as they don't say they will...
So IMO - Saying he would be in contact with her again at a specific time and not doing it was what he did wrong...
Have you even stopped to think of it from another point of _iew.
Guy has a good night, thinks the woman is pretty chilled and laid back and likes the idea of something fun but uncomplicated.
Gets home and something distracts him… you know life does that sometimes.
Next thing he knows he has multiple messages and texts from the woman he thought was not the clingy type… not one text, texts plural…. not one message, messages plural.
On a personal note, I’d be running for the hills.
"
I did,, see my post above.. if he isn't interested anymore for whatever reason just text her and say so... don't leave her hanging.. but apparently its ok to leave people hanging because its a swingers site and swingers have no manners... its no wonder "the vanillas" think we are all a bunch of neanderthal orgy goers..
people seem to have lost the basic manners they were taught just because its a swingers site and they are swingers...
and i just don't think its right, Just because you are doing something outside of "the norm" doesn't mean that manners should be forgotten...
No, if she is texting, messaging him, calling him like an obsessive stalker then i wouldnt expect him to want to see her again. but i would expect him to say so... this is how stalking gets out of hand very quickly and the police can;t do anything about it, by people not just saying no at the beginning... if she keeps texting after he has made it clear to her verbally or via a written form of message ( text, email, Letter) then it is harrassment,, if he doesnt make it clear to her he doesnt want contact then its just unreciprocated attention. which according to the law there is nothing wrong with. Morally, no she shouldnt be doing it ( hypothetically speaking here because no1 actually knows if she is people are just assuming because she said messages not message) but he also is responsible for letting her know he doesnt want the attention.. |
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That's assuming:
1 - he said he would.
2 - the context it was said in (if it was said)
3 - it wasn't just a throw-away comment which is being clung onto like a child's toy.
4 - it wasn't a version of 'but don't call me, I'll call you'.
And even if he did say "I'll text you when I'm home" or words to that effect.... big feckin' deal it's only a text. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"
I did,, see my post above.. if he isn't interested anymore for whatever reason just text her and say so... don't leave her hanging.. but apparently its ok to leave people hanging because its a swingers site and swingers have no manners... its no wonder "the vanillas" think we are all a bunch of neanderthal orgy goers.."
Although its not OK to leave people hanging (however clingy they may or may not have appeared), it seems to be considered normal behaviour on here. I hated it the first two or three times its happened to me, but now I have added the layer of rhino skin needed to swing successully on here and learned to leave it and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hahaha ive had this also a canny bit, but not from girls on here, but ones off dating sites who have pulled me into bed at the end of the night after our date.
i just think its their way of justifying what they done on the first night to themselves (as they always claim to never normally do this and usually want to proove that point to you to avoid any guilt)
then afterwards through the week realise they were only kidding themselves and make their excuses and move on!
your always going to get people who dont know what to say or do and just say what ever they think they should say (and you want to hear) in the situation!
this guy obv thought you wanted to see him regular, and probs liked the idea of more of what he had just enjoyed while he was in the moment!
so he just said everything you wanted to hear to make the moment as easy as and good as possible, then when they on they own show their true colours and either realise to themselves its not what they want or just show to you they are full of shit.
people say all sorts of things to make things easier or get out of situations or fufill their own needs. its what they do after that shows you if they mean it or not and obv he shown his true colours here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think OP should just look at it ... like you should on a sex site .. as a fun night good sex and if she got that should be happy move on . See it for what it is and not read more into things that are not there . Learn from it . If the op is after more from a man maybe this is not the best place as to alot its like a sweety shop you take your pick and keep nibbling on nice things on offer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe the OP wanted more of something else and she scared him away.
Have to admit to thinking the same thing.
I always meet socially before a play meet. Met one man who bombarded me with messages before I got back to my office...I work five minutes away.
I didn't reply as I thought he was displaying signs of being pushy. I'd have played with him too but I didn't want him turning up with available dates for a wedding and colour swatches for my bedroom.
Another meet took two years from social to play, work and family got in the way but both of us trust the other in our homes as we didn't take the "i'll talk to you later" comment literally and become clingy.
and this is why people dont learn,,, if you had just text him back and said " look your being pushy and its putting me off" likelyhood is he would have been like " oh sorry i thought from other women and movies and the like that is what women wanted" but if you leave people hanging they have nothing but their minds to work with and hollywood movies...
also, ill talk to you later,,, and ill text you when i get home are two very different sentences...
one is defining an action at a the occurrence of a certain event, i.e getting home,
and the other is saying later.. meaning any time between now and the end of time... later this week, later this year, later this millenium none of those were specified, just later... big difference..
"
We'll have to agree to disagree.
Before I meet even for a coffee I set out what I want expect. Prior to meeting I don't indulge in endless e-mails or texts.
Therefore, I see it as an error of judgement on my part if five minutes after meeting someone they've bombarded me with messages.
I don't see why I should be teaching an adult male over 50 how to act! I don't know on what planet anyone would think several messages in five minutes wouldn't be seen as anything but pushy, clingy and desperately needy.
What I'm looking for is quite clear - it really is all about me and I make no apologies for that. I have no intention of stroking the fragile egos of people who pretend to want nsa but in reality are looking for more.
Some people feel the need to reply to every single message they receive - hmmm - I won't comment on that, I don't. To save time when visible my profile is detailed, and it clearly states I will not enter into any correspondence with people outwith what I'm looking for...and I don't!
If people can't read/chance their luck, that's their look out, not mine.
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