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What's amused you today?
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I've been for my 40+NHS health check today.
My BP is perfect
My cholesterol is the lowest the nurse has ever seen
My lung function tests, I blew off the scale.
But.... I need to lose 4, yes, FOUR stone!
My BMI, puts me at the top end of the extremely obese section on the chart.
I need to shed 4stone to be considered healthy.
Once I stopped laughing, picked myself up off the floor. I thanked the nurse & left.
I'll be chuckling over it for the rest of the day.
So, what's made you laugh today?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I've been for my 40+NHS health check today.
My BP is perfect
My cholesterol is the lowest the nurse has ever seen
My lung function tests, I blew off the scale.
But.... I need to lose 4, yes, FOUR stone!
My BMI, puts me at the top end of the extremely obese section on the chart.
I need to shed 4stone to be considered healthy.
Once I stopped laughing, picked myself up off the floor. I thanked the nurse & left.
I'll be chuckling over it for the rest of the day.
So, what's made you laugh today?
"
4 stone!!! Wtf! I got told 4 too. I would look ridiculous. Could do with losing a couple but 4! Really don’t think they take height into account! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I read a dating profile where the guy was looking for a woman with a self-defecating sense of humour which amused me far more than it probably should have  |
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"
I've been for my 40+NHS health check today.
My BP is perfect
My cholesterol is the lowest the nurse has ever seen
My lung function tests, I blew off the scale.
But.... I need to lose 4, yes, FOUR stone!
My BMI, puts me at the top end of the extremely obese section on the chart.
I need to shed 4stone to be considered healthy.
Once I stopped laughing, picked myself up off the floor. I thanked the nurse & left.
I'll be chuckling over it for the rest of the day.
So, what's made you laugh today?
4 stone!!! Wtf! I got told 4 too. I would look ridiculous. Could do with losing a couple but 4! Really don’t think they take height into account!"
Height is taken into account
It's basically a height/weight ratio
What isn't taken into account is body composition & lifestyle
I have a very high muscle mass, low body fat but it is only based on overall weight
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"
I've been for my 40+NHS health check today.
My BP is perfect
My cholesterol is the lowest the nurse has ever seen
My lung function tests, I blew off the scale.
But.... I need to lose 4, yes, FOUR stone!
My BMI, puts me at the top end of the extremely obese section on the chart.
I need to shed 4stone to be considered healthy.
Once I stopped laughing, picked myself up off the floor. I thanked the nurse & left.
I'll be chuckling over it for the rest of the day.
So, what's made you laugh today?
"
Ridiculous there’d be nothing left! I had the same last year, I think they just need to tell you to do something to justify their existence.
For my part I laughed (and laughed and laughed) when my brand new car packed up yet again!! - if I don’t laugh I’d cry it’s so frustrating  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My dog. I just sat down for lunch, he walks up, drops the biggest fart ever. It stinks and puts me off my food, he eats my sandwich and I swear he was laughing at me. Really devious bugger. Couldn't help but chuckle at his cunning plan. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My dog. I just sat down for lunch, he walks up, drops the biggest fart ever. It stinks and puts me off my food, he eats my sandwich and I swear he was laughing at me. Really devious bugger. Couldn't help but chuckle at his cunning plan."
I taught him well
P |
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"
I've been for my 40+NHS health check today.
My BP is perfect
My cholesterol is the lowest the nurse has ever seen
My lung function tests, I blew off the scale.
But.... I need to lose 4, yes, FOUR stone!
My BMI, puts me at the top end of the extremely obese section on the chart.
I need to shed 4stone to be considered healthy.
Once I stopped laughing, picked myself up off the floor. I thanked the nurse & left.
I'll be chuckling over it for the rest of the day.
So, what's made you laugh today?
"
Its rubbish. My tests where so perfect if they where any more perfect id be in danger of becoming unhealthy. My cholestral was so good he said only with the use of medication would i get it lower. I was considerably more than four stone overweight at the time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I've been for my 40+NHS health check today.
My BP is perfect
My cholesterol is the lowest the nurse has ever seen
My lung function tests, I blew off the scale.
But.... I need to lose 4, yes, FOUR stone!
My BMI, puts me at the top end of the extremely obese section on the chart.
I need to shed 4stone to be considered healthy.
Once I stopped laughing, picked myself up off the floor. I thanked the nurse & left.
I'll be chuckling over it for the rest of the day.
So, what's made you laugh today?
"
that's ridiculous 4 stone? You look healthy and thin to me. What do doctors measure their perfect results on? A size 0 model/athlete that starves themselves? It's ridiculous. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The angry fans expressing their outrage and sense of the injustice at the ending of Game Of Thrones. I mean, I only had a little grumble on the phone to my lovely fab friend about it this morning. No more than five minutes of ranting really. What are these crazy folk like eh?!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I've been for my 40+NHS health check today.
My BP is perfect
My cholesterol is the lowest the nurse has ever seen
My lung function tests, I blew off the scale.
But.... I need to lose 4, yes, FOUR stone!
My BMI, puts me at the top end of the extremely obese section on the chart.
I need to shed 4stone to be considered healthy.
Once I stopped laughing, picked myself up off the floor. I thanked the nurse & left.
I'll be chuckling over it for the rest of the day.
So, what's made you laugh today?
"
This did |
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"
I've been for my 40+NHS health check today.
My BP is perfect
My cholesterol is the lowest the nurse has ever seen
My lung function tests, I blew off the scale.
But.... I need to lose 4, yes, FOUR stone!
My BMI, puts me at the top end of the extremely obese section on the chart.
I need to shed 4stone to be considered healthy.
Once I stopped laughing, picked myself up off the floor. I thanked the nurse & left.
I'll be chuckling over it for the rest of the day.
So, what's made you laugh today?
"
Four stone what utter nonsense,however if you want to give me your boobs I'll take them of you just to help you out of course.
I was told at my health check I was underweight which annoyed me as that was my normal weight for me! She'd probably be more happy now as I have middle aged spread. Pisses me off when they just off a chart. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I've been for my 40+NHS health check today.
My BP is perfect
My cholesterol is the lowest the nurse has ever seen
My lung function tests, I blew off the scale.
But.... I need to lose 4, yes, FOUR stone!
My BMI, puts me at the top end of the extremely obese section on the chart.
I need to shed 4stone to be considered healthy.
Once I stopped laughing, picked myself up off the floor. I thanked the nurse & left.
I'll be chuckling over it for the rest of the day.
So, what's made you laugh today?
"
40+NHS..Is that 40+No Hand Signals.Im glad to hear your petrols ok though ..can ruin a carburettor. |
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"
I've been for my 40+NHS health check today.
My BP is perfect
My cholesterol is the lowest the nurse has ever seen
My lung function tests, I blew off the scale.
But.... I need to lose 4, yes, FOUR stone!
My BMI, puts me at the top end of the extremely obese section on the chart.
I need to shed 4stone to be considered healthy.
BMI charts need ripping up !
Once I stopped laughing, picked myself up off the floor. I thanked the nurse & left.
I'll be chuckling over it for the rest of the day.
So, what's made you laugh today?
"
|
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I'm looking after my parents dogs for them whilst they are away My dad has a house with a pretty big back garden but tells me that one of the dogs will refuse to play out until he gets an extra biscuit to the other dog I thought he was joking but no this morning I opened the door to let them both run in the garden whilst I was going to get ready for work but no they both sprint out of the door then said dog dives back inside whilst the other one is playing with her football and looks for a biscuit I give him one he then dives back outside for a play....well it made me smile and laugh a little. |
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"
I've been for my 40+NHS health check today.
My BP is perfect
My cholesterol is the lowest the nurse has ever seen
My lung function tests, I blew off the scale.
But.... I need to lose 4, yes, FOUR stone!
My BMI, puts me at the top end of the extremely obese section on the chart.
I need to shed 4stone to be considered healthy.
BMI charts need ripping up !
Once I stopped laughing, picked myself up off the floor. I thanked the nurse & left.
I'll be chuckling over it for the rest of the day.
So, what's made you laugh today?
"
It's been a bit dull for me too.
I used to stammer when I was a kid, today's client had a stammer.
When I was talking to him I very, very nearly stammered too. In fact probably did a little bit.
The more you try not to stammer, the worse it gets. Then you think, that he thinks, "is he taking the piss out of me"? And the stammer gets worse.
That made me smile.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A message from a young guy who won't leave me alone. He got so frustrated that I wouldn't meet him, he called me a fat, old, self-obsessed, middle aged fucking sad bitch. He told me he had had a lucky escape. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A man goes for a job interview at a warehouse and asks the manager "so what do you do round here?"
The manager replies "Well on Mondays we sweep up inside and round the back. Then in the afternoon we play cards."
"Oh I dont like cards"
"Well on Tuesdays we clean all the shelves. Then in the afternoon we play darts."
"I don't like darts".
"Well on Wednesdays we do a bit of this and we do a bit of that. Then in the afternoon we get a load of booze and women over from next door and get pissed, it's every man for himself."
"Well I dont drink, and I don't go with strange women."
The manager says "hang about? You don't play cards, you don't like darts, you don't drink and you don't go with loose women. Are you queer?"
"No I'm not queer" he replies.
"Oh, well you won't like Thursdays much either then." |
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hes never been told of by me before
