FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Sex Drive
Sex Drive
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
No, not a thread about dogging or my trying to whip up some interest (although, maybe if I got whip...).
Woman's Hour put out a call this morning for women to tell them about their sex drive. They're looking at whether men really do have more of a sex drive than women or whether women's sex drive is underestimated.
Then I saw a banner on a red top with a picture of Ulrika Jonsson only had sex with her husband once in eight years.
My life and this lifestyle experience leads me to think it's actually quite balanced. I've met about the same number of men and women who have lost their mojo, either for a short or long time. A drop in testosterone, changes in hormones, bringing up children or dealing with parents needing more help, along with pressures of work, managing finances, physical and mental health affect all of us.
The issue is that we are sexualised in different ways. Discuss.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
My partners sex drive has increased dramatically recently which I put down to one big reason. I decided to invest in under bed restraints and now I'm so glad that i did. Action has gone from 6 monthly intervals to weekly and sometimes more  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm unable to comment on any disparity in statistics or how accurate they are( I'm always a sceptic of these surveys based on brief questionnaires of a few thousand people), but I think theres one fundamental point we miss.
No, not how often we want sex, but the triggers to desiring it. From my relatively unqualified to comment perspective, men can be aroused far easier and desire sex in many situations, whereas women need far more in the equation to desire it.
I've been stressed, worked long hours and been physically exhausted, but still desired it? So I'm not sure that argument is ever the real reason for it not happening.
I think it's a simple case of the longer you go without, the less phased by abstinence you become.
Best I can do for starters....I'm tired! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"My partners sex drive has increased dramatically recently which I put down to one big reason. I decided to invest in under bed restraints and now I'm so glad that i did. Action has gone from 6 monthly intervals to weekly and sometimes more "
There you go. I think a lot of relationship loss of sex drive is down to familiarity, boredom and poor communication (not that I'm saying that's your situation).
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
" I'm unable to comment on any disparity in statistics or how accurate they are( I'm always a sceptic of these surveys based on brief questionnaires of a few thousand people), but I think theres one fundamental point we miss.
No, not how often we want sex, but the triggers to desiring it. From my relatively unqualified to comment perspective, men can be aroused far easier and desire sex in many situations, whereas women need far more in the equation to desire it.
I've been stressed, worked long hours and been physically exhausted, but still desired it? So I'm not sure that argument is ever the real reason for it not happening.
I think it's a simple case of the longer you go without, the less phased by abstinence you become.
Best I can do for starters....I'm tired!"
I agree about the stimulus and abstinence (I was celibate for 14 years).
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I can be either end of the scale at different points depending on how well I am in myself. I can do abstinence very easily if i don't have a connection to anybody.. but, once I find someone I like, that all changes. I don't think I have a constant drive anymore and it's definately changed as I've got older. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I can be either end of the scale at different points depending on how well I am in myself. I can do abstinence very easily if i don't have a connection to anybody.. but, once I find someone I like, that all changes. I don't think I have a constant drive anymore and it's definately changed as I've got older."
It would be odd if people had no change over their lifetime, especially as you have manage life sometimes.
Having someone you want to fuck certainly gives it all boost, especially in the early days.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My partners sex drive has increased dramatically recently which I put down to one big reason. I decided to invest in under bed restraints and now I'm so glad that i did. Action has gone from 6 monthly intervals to weekly and sometimes more
There you go. I think a lot of relationship loss of sex drive is down to familiarity, boredom and poor communication (not that I'm saying that's your situation).
"
Well she's kinky and I'm not, plus we both struggle with our mental health. I'm just hoping that the current trajectory remains steady. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"My partners sex drive has increased dramatically recently which I put down to one big reason. I decided to invest in under bed restraints and now I'm so glad that i did. Action has gone from 6 monthly intervals to weekly and sometimes more
There you go. I think a lot of relationship loss of sex drive is down to familiarity, boredom and poor communication (not that I'm saying that's your situation).
Well she's kinky and I'm not, plus we both struggle with our mental health. I'm just hoping that the current trajectory remains steady. "
Are you enjoying the kink at all? What's the angle of your trajectory?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No, not a thread about dogging or my trying to whip up some interest (although, maybe if I got whip...).
Woman's Hour put out a call this morning for women to tell them about their sex drive. They're looking at whether men really do have more of a sex drive than women or whether women's sex drive is underestimated.
Then I saw a banner on a red top with a picture of Ulrika Jonsson only had sex with her husband once in eight years.
My life and this lifestyle experience leads me to think it's actually quite balanced. I've met about the same number of men and women who have lost their mojo, either for a short or long time. A drop in testosterone, changes in hormones, bringing up children or dealing with parents needing more help, along with pressures of work, managing finances, physical and mental health affect all of us.
The issue is that we are sexualised in different ways. Discuss.
"
My first question when I heard about Ulrika ... may be 8 years with her husband ... but what about with other men (or women) ... am I bad?
I don't think there's necessarily much of a difference between the sexes ... I just don't think women "brag" or grumble about it as much |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think mojo has a bit to do with self confidence for me. I finished a very messy, troubled relationship at Christmas and it put me right off for a while, I couldn't even be arsed with wanking for a while (which is super strange for me), probably more because I wasn't feeling particularly sexy in myself, plus my work was really demanding and draining at the time....
Life is a box f roses innit. S'all good now though and I'm happy  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'm young, and my sex drive is pretty low whereas I've a friend younger than me who can't get enough of sex  "
Yours might pick up and theirs may drop back. As long as you're enjoying yourself and not playing to a model that you *have* to have as much sex as possible all is good.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My partners sex drive has increased dramatically recently which I put down to one big reason. I decided to invest in under bed restraints and now I'm so glad that i did. Action has gone from 6 monthly intervals to weekly and sometimes more
There you go. I think a lot of relationship loss of sex drive is down to familiarity, boredom and poor communication (not that I'm saying that's your situation).
Well she's kinky and I'm not, plus we both struggle with our mental health. I'm just hoping that the current trajectory remains steady.
Are you enjoying the kink at all? What's the angle of your trajectory? "
Depends on the kink. I'm not a fan of pain, receiving or inflicting, but the bondage is pretty good. The angle is a good 45 degrees  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Mine is much the same as it ever was although through necessity I have learned to switch it off. I think both women and men can have low, high or anywhere in between libidos. Anything I have done to try and influence to increase a partners libido has generally had the opposite effect. I think I have the reverse Midas touch when it comes to sex  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I think mojo has a bit to do with self confidence for me. I finished a very messy, troubled relationship at Christmas and it put me right off for a while, I couldn't even be arsed with wanking for a while (which is super strange for me), probably more because I wasn't feeling particularly sexy in myself, plus my work was really demanding and draining at the time....
Life is a box f roses innit. S'all good now though and I'm happy "
Our mental well-being, recent (and past) experiences, self-confidence and self-esteem all play their part.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"My partners sex drive has increased dramatically recently which I put down to one big reason. I decided to invest in under bed restraints and now I'm so glad that i did. Action has gone from 6 monthly intervals to weekly and sometimes more
There you go. I think a lot of relationship loss of sex drive is down to familiarity, boredom and poor communication (not that I'm saying that's your situation).
Well she's kinky and I'm not, plus we both struggle with our mental health. I'm just hoping that the current trajectory remains steady.
Are you enjoying the kink at all? What's the angle of your trajectory?
Depends on the kink. I'm not a fan of pain, receiving or inflicting, but the bondage is pretty good. The angle is a good 45 degrees "
Long may it continue. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Mine is much the same as it ever was although through necessity I have learned to switch it off. I think both women and men can have low, high or anywhere in between libidos. Anything I have done to try and influence to increase a partners libido has generally had the opposite effect. I think I have the reverse Midas touch when it comes to sex "
Midas didn't have it so good. Touch me and see what happens.
'Learned to switch it off' is interesting. I think I am the same. I have always had a craving for sex but there have been times when I haven't had it, through choice or lack of availability, and times when I *know* I have switched off to communicate anger or unhappiness with someone. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My partners sex drive has increased dramatically recently which I put down to one big reason. I decided to invest in under bed restraints and now I'm so glad that i did. Action has gone from 6 monthly intervals to weekly and sometimes more
There you go. I think a lot of relationship loss of sex drive is down to familiarity, boredom and poor communication (not that I'm saying that's your situation).
Well she's kinky and I'm not, plus we both struggle with our mental health. I'm just hoping that the current trajectory remains steady.
Are you enjoying the kink at all? What's the angle of your trajectory?
Depends on the kink. I'm not a fan of pain, receiving or inflicting, but the bondage is pretty good. The angle is a good 45 degrees
Long may it continue."
Yeah I hope so. The way it's going I might get her involved in fab but I can only be patient. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Mine is much the same as it ever was although through necessity I have learned to switch it off. I think both women and men can have low, high or anywhere in between libidos. Anything I have done to try and influence to increase a partners libido has generally had the opposite effect. I think I have the reverse Midas touch when it comes to sex
Midas didn't have it so good. Touch me and see what happens.
'Learned to switch it off' is interesting. I think I am the same. I have always had a craving for sex but there have been times when I haven't had it, through choice or lack of availability, and times when I *know* I have switched off to communicate anger or unhappiness with someone."
My switching off has been simply so I don’t try to pressurise my partner into sex when they don’t want it and to stop me doing something I might later regret. It can work for quite long periods of time, but ultimately created repressed resentment and frustration for me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
'Learned to switch it off' is interesting. I think I am the same. I have always had a craving for sex but there have been times when I haven't had it, through choice or lack of availability, and times when I *know* I have switched off to communicate anger or unhappiness with someone.
My switching off has been simply so I don’t try to pressurise my partner into sex when they don’t want it and to stop me doing something I might later regret. It can work for quite long periods of time, but ultimately created repressed resentment and frustration for me."
Mis-matched sex drives is more of an issue than people admit to. Resentment and frustration also more common. (Said from my agony aunty perspective.) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Mine is much the same as it ever was although through necessity I have learned to switch it off. I think both women and men can have low, high or anywhere in between libidos. Anything I have done to try and influence to increase a partners libido has generally had the opposite effect. I think I have the reverse Midas touch when it comes to sex
Midas didn't have it so good. Touch me and see what happens.
'Learned to switch it off' is interesting. I think I am the same. I have always had a craving for sex but there have been times when I haven't had it, through choice or lack of availability, and times when I *know* I have switched off to communicate anger or unhappiness with someone.
My switching off has been simply so I don’t try to pressurise my partner into sex when they don’t want it and to stop me doing something I might later regret. It can work for quite long periods of time, but ultimately created repressed resentment and frustration for me."
Yeah I've been there. I have almost completely stopped initiating with my partner just because I couldn't deal with the constant rejection, it was making me I'll. I just have to be patient now and wait until I know she wants to do stuff (she needs at least a bottle and a half of wine lol). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
'Learned to switch it off' is interesting. I think I am the same. I have always had a craving for sex but there have been times when I haven't had it, through choice or lack of availability, and times when I *know* I have switched off to communicate anger or unhappiness with someone.
My switching off has been simply so I don’t try to pressurise my partner into sex when they don’t want it and to stop me doing something I might later regret. It can work for quite long periods of time, but ultimately created repressed resentment and frustration for me.
Mis-matched sex drives is more of an issue than people admit to. Resentment and frustration also more common. (Said from my agony aunty perspective.)"
Yep  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
Yeah I've been there. I have almost completely stopped initiating with my partner just because I couldn't deal with the constant rejection, it was making me I'll. I just have to be patient now and wait until I know she wants to do stuff (she needs at least a bottle and a half of wine lol)."
That is NOT good. You two need to talk more and get to the bottom of whatever is really going on. Wine is not the answer.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I'm not sure men and women do have equal libidos (if that makes sense) but I do think that everyone can fluctuate greatly. I spent a good few months a couple of years ago not finding anyone attractive/not wanking etc.
Recently though I've found the more I have sex, the more I want to have sex and the more I seem to get offers of sex. I'm not sure why the latter part is but it seems to be a loop of confirmation - if I feel like I'm desirable to those I find attractive I feel more confident etc.
I do feel that there's still a negative connotation attached to a woman expressing her sexuality so possibly due to my societal learnings I'm less likely to be so open about it. It's that odd dichotomy which shouldn't be one - wanting lots of hot, great sex but also to be respected and liked. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Yeah I've been there. I have almost completely stopped initiating with my partner just because I couldn't deal with the constant rejection, it was making me I'll. I just have to be patient now and wait until I know she wants to do stuff (she needs at least a bottle and a half of wine lol).
That is NOT good. You two need to talk more and get to the bottom of whatever is really going on. Wine is not the answer.
"
Talking isn’t necessarily either. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Yeah I've been there. I have almost completely stopped initiating with my partner just because I couldn't deal with the constant rejection, it was making me I'll. I just have to be patient now and wait until I know she wants to do stuff (she needs at least a bottle and a half of wine lol).
That is NOT good. You two need to talk more and get to the bottom of whatever is really going on. Wine is not the answer.
"
I know that and so does she, but she's a big girl and she can make her own decisions. It's not like I want her to drink, far from it, but she drinks because of her mental health issues. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'm not sure men and women do have equal libidos (if that makes sense) but I do think that everyone can fluctuate greatly. I spent a good few months a couple of years ago not finding anyone attractive/not wanking etc.
Recently though I've found the more I have sex, the more I want to have sex and the more I seem to get offers of sex. I'm not sure why the latter part is but it seems to be a loop of confirmation - if I feel like I'm desirable to those I find attractive I feel more confident etc.
I do feel that there's still a negative connotation attached to a woman expressing her sexuality so possibly due to my societal learnings I'm less likely to be so open about it. It's that odd dichotomy which shouldn't be one - wanting lots of hot, great sex but also to be respected and liked."
That is exactly what I mean about being sexualised in different ways. It takes a lot to break away from all the lessons we have absorbed and been taught. Even here, where we break into a 'safe space' to be able to express that we are still likely to face some judgement, or find it hard to shake off the ingrained.
The confirmation loop also makes perfect sense. Confidence is sexy, inwardly and outwardly to others. I also say the more I have the more I want (although I've reached the stage where I don't more) but I have changed that slightly. The more good sex I have the more I want. Bad sex makes me want to stop trying as it leaves me frustrated.
Keep enjoying your loopy fun.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I pretty much always want sex. But then again, it's not the only thing I want lots of so I'm not always at it. There's simply not enough time in the day for everything.
"
'Tis true.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think the difference between men and women is probably smaller than the difference between groups within men or groups within women.
But I do know that women have been brought up for years not even expected to enjoy sex, let alone want it  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think women are often shamed for liking sex. If they like sex they're slags, so best to lie there like a sack of spuds and be thought well of.
I also think the contraceptive pill hormones dull the sex drive the same as antidepressants do. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think women are often shamed for liking sex. If they like sex they're slags, so best to lie there like a sack of spuds and be thought well of.
I also think the contraceptive pill hormones dull the sex drive the same as antidepressants do. "
I'd suggest it's more a case of how many partners they have that's likely to get them shamed?
I'm pretty confident we've dragged ourselves into the 21st century when it comes to reasonable people accepting sexual tastes and the fact it should be fun?
I guess you're right about medication. My experience is warmth, sunlight and exercise are great natural aphrodisiac, along with tactile interaction and a healthy build up of flirtation.
None of us really want to perform on demand I think? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think women are often shamed for liking sex. If they like sex they're slags, so best to lie there like a sack of spuds and be thought well of.
I also think the contraceptive pill hormones dull the sex drive the same as antidepressants do.
I'd suggest it's more a case of how many partners they have that's likely to get them shamed?
I'm pretty confident we've dragged ourselves into the 21st century when it comes to reasonable people accepting sexual tastes and the fact it should be fun?
I guess you're right about medication. My experience is warmth, sunlight and exercise are great natural aphrodisiac, along with tactile interaction and a healthy build up of flirtation.
None of us really want to perform on demand I think?"
I agree about sunlight. Summer definitely helps. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My sex drive is high now and has the odd times it’s not. But through most of my active sex life especially my marriage it was non existent and I did my best to avoid it. Lack of desire through abuse and him just being selfish in bed just turned any feelings in that regard off. Thankfully I discovered what I was missing, but agree that life sometimes gets in the way and sex is put on the back burner x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Mines really high if im getting it or chasing it not so much if not thats why i like long all day dedicated sex to clear my system
That sounds a little like flushing the pipes.  "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think many women have high or equal sex drives to men, it's just we don't talk about it or prehaps "control" it better.
I have always had a high sex drive and am very easily turned on ... which is great but also slightly awkward in certain situations!
Do feel a bit like a sex pest but I'm assured by the boyfriend that he has no objections!
Seriously can't imagine only doing it once in 8 years  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
I'd suggest it's more a case of how many partners they have that's likely to get them shamed?
I'm pretty confident we've dragged ourselves into the 21st century when it comes to reasonable people accepting sexual tastes and the fact it should be fun?
"
The number shouldn't matter if the second point is true. I don't feel the confidence you express as there is a lot of rowing back on women's reproductive rights. NI is as bad as Alabama and we have protests outside clinics. This plays into the narrative about shaming women for their sexual appetite. You'll argue that those people aren't reasonable but there are lots of them and they are holding the news cycles.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
None of us really want to perform on demand I think?
I agree about sunlight. Summer definitely helps. "
I like the frisky feeling in spring. It's easier to want to be naked when it's warm. Although working up a sweat in the cold of winter with a shared snuggle for warmth also has its appeal.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I think many women have high or equal sex drives to men, it's just we don't talk about it or prehaps "control" it better.
I have always had a high sex drive and am very easily turned on ... which is great but also slightly awkward in certain situations!
Do feel a bit like a sex pest but I'm assured by the boyfriend that he has no objections!
Seriously can't imagine only doing it once in 8 years "
When I first embarked on all of this I wondered if it was only women with high sex drives that would consider doing this. Then I met a fair few with what I would consider as average or low, along with men with average or low, sex drives. In most interactions you can't discuss your sex drive. Here you can.
It's great that you are compatible with your boyfriend.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Definitely linked to what's happening elsewhere in your life. Though if stressed I find I crave it more, or at least crave my rechargeable friend more!
It's easy to fall off the wagon so to speak.
I also find confidence a massive boost. Coming here has made me feel 100% better about myself, though I'm far from perfect.
If you are happy in your own skin it shows.
Sex has always been a massive part of our lives but yes it peaks and troughs depending on what's going on outside the bedroom. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Definitely linked to what's happening elsewhere in your life. Though if stressed I find I crave it more, or at least crave my rechargeable friend more!
It's easy to fall off the wagon so to speak.
I also find confidence a massive boost. Coming here has made me feel 100% better about myself, though I'm far from perfect.
If you are happy in your own skin it shows.
Sex has always been a massive part of our lives but yes it peaks and troughs depending on what's going on outside the bedroom. "
Does the stress use of the wand mean you don't want sex with your partner when you are stressed?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
my sex drive is zero at the mo,,too knackred ,too stressed,a best friend died recently,,nah not interested,,id rather just work n get on with it.
who knows I,ll probably be a raving nympho in a few weeks |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Definitely linked to what's happening elsewhere in your life. Though if stressed I find I crave it more, or at least crave my rechargeable friend more!
It's easy to fall off the wagon so to speak.
I also find confidence a massive boost. Coming here has made me feel 100% better about myself, though I'm far from perfect.
If you are happy in your own skin it shows.
Sex has always been a massive part of our lives but yes it peaks and troughs depending on what's going on outside the bedroom.
Does the stress use of the wand mean you don't want sex with your partner when you are stressed?
"
Well it just helps when he's not there... I work from home so can nip.off for a sneaky one! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"my sex drive is zero at the mo,,too knackred ,too stressed,a best friend died recently,,nah not interested,,id rather just work n get on with it.
who knows I,ll probably be a raving nympho in a few weeks "
Sorry for your loss. I hope you're back on form soon, but grief has it's timescale.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Definitely linked to what's happening elsewhere in your life. Though if stressed I find I crave it more, or at least crave my rechargeable friend more!
It's easy to fall off the wagon so to speak.
I also find confidence a massive boost. Coming here has made me feel 100% better about myself, though I'm far from perfect.
If you are happy in your own skin it shows.
Sex has always been a massive part of our lives but yes it peaks and troughs depending on what's going on outside the bedroom.
Does the stress use of the wand mean you don't want sex with your partner when you are stressed?
Well it just helps when he's not there... I work from home so can nip.off for a sneaky one!"
I work from home a lot too but never think of sex when I'm working.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Definitely linked to what's happening elsewhere in your life. Though if stressed I find I crave it more, or at least crave my rechargeable friend more!
It's easy to fall off the wagon so to speak.
I also find confidence a massive boost. Coming here has made me feel 100% better about myself, though I'm far from perfect.
If you are happy in your own skin it shows.
Sex has always been a massive part of our lives but yes it peaks and troughs depending on what's going on outside the bedroom.
Does the stress use of the wand mean you don't want sex with your partner when you are stressed?
Well it just helps when he's not there... I work from home so can nip.off for a sneaky one!
I work from home a lot too but never think of sex when I'm working.
"
yea I work from home also,,im too busy working |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think I have a pretty low sex drive all in. It gets battered by stress and all the other daily crap as ever. However, If I find someone that trips the switch, sex with them becomes a bit of a running commentary in my head even if there is no chance of sex at that time or for a while. So yes, I guess it all depends |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I think I have a pretty low sex drive all in. It gets battered by stress and all the other daily crap as ever. However, If I find someone that trips the switch, sex with them becomes a bit of a running commentary in my head even if there is no chance of sex at that time or for a while. So yes, I guess it all depends "
I do wonder if the people who say they have a high sex drive, but aren't getting any, actually just have an absence of sex drive? If they were getting sex then it might just be an average drive. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm hypersexual. 3-5 times a day would be ideal for me. I've been this way for as long as I can remember. Unfortunately I don't get it that often as I don't live with my partner and though he has a very healthy appetite for sex, he prefers the occasional day off
My doc seems to think it's related to my mental health (in have bipolar disorder) and I often get very depressed if I've been a while without sex, or extremely hyper if I've had lots. Regular, good sex helps keep me balanced.
Guys in the past have always thought it to be a great thing at first, but my current partner is the only man I've ever met who can keep up with me as far as how much I want sex.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'm hypersexual. 3-5 times a day would be ideal for me. I've been this way for as long as I can remember. Unfortunately I don't get it that often as I don't live with my partner and though he has a very healthy appetite for sex, he prefers the occasional day off
My doc seems to think it's related to my mental health (in have bipolar disorder) and I often get very depressed if I've been a while without sex, or extremely hyper if I've had lots. Regular, good sex helps keep me balanced.
Guys in the past have always thought it to be a great thing at first, but my current partner is the only man I've ever met who can keep up with me as far as how much I want sex.
"
I have a bipolar friend who experiences the same. It's great you have found someone who can keep you in balance.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm hypersexual. 3-5 times a day would be ideal for me. I've been this way for as long as I can remember. Unfortunately I don't get it that often as I don't live with my partner and though he has a very healthy appetite for sex, he prefers the occasional day off
My doc seems to think it's related to my mental health (in have bipolar disorder) and I often get very depressed if I've been a while without sex, or extremely hyper if I've had lots. Regular, good sex helps keep me balanced.
Guys in the past have always thought it to be a great thing at first, but my current partner is the only man I've ever met who can keep up with me as far as how much I want sex.
I have a bipolar friend who experiences the same. It's great you have found someone who can keep you in balance.
"
It is wonderful! It's a pain he currently lives 2000 miles away! But that's temporary...and he bought be a giant 5ft5 teddy for snuggles and a magic wand for orgasms to help when we're apart |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
When I first embarked on all of this I wondered if it was only women with high sex drives that would consider doing this. Then I met a fair few with what I would consider as average or low, along with men with average or low, sex drives. In most interactions you can't discuss your sex drive. Here you can.
It's great that you are compatible with your boyfriend.
"
It's really interesting meeting people with all their reasons for being on fab it's not just the nymphomaniacs!
Yes have to watch what i discuss with vanilla friends
We are for the most part but he has alot more stress which affects his sex drive... that's where the toys help  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm hypersexual. 3-5 times a day would be ideal for me. I've been this way for as long as I can remember. Unfortunately I don't get it that often as I don't live with my partner and though he has a very healthy appetite for sex, he prefers the occasional day off
My doc seems to think it's related to my mental health (in have bipolar disorder) and I often get very depressed if I've been a while without sex, or extremely hyper if I've had lots. Regular, good sex helps keep me balanced.
Guys in the past have always thought it to be a great thing at first, but my current partner is the only man I've ever met who can keep up with me as far as how much I want sex.
"
That's really interesting, I know my sex drive is related to my mental health.
I have borderline personality disorder, I do use sex to manage my emotions.
I find I feel the same as you if it's been a while without sex (a few days even)
It makes everything very intense and I can feel out of control, controlled by my vagina rather than my mind!
It's something I need to work on.
How do you manage things?
Toys only help so much as I crave that interaction!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I'd suggest it's more a case of how many partners they have that's likely to get them shamed?
I'm pretty confident we've dragged ourselves into the 21st century when it comes to reasonable people accepting sexual tastes and the fact it should be fun?
The number shouldn't matter if the second point is true. I don't feel the confidence you express as there is a lot of rowing back on women's reproductive rights. NI is as bad as Alabama and we have protests outside clinics. This plays into the narrative about shaming women for their sexual appetite. You'll argue that those people aren't reasonable but there are lots of them and they are holding the news cycles.
"
The Alabama story is awful. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
