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Adults with Asperger's
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
I work closely with an autism unit who assess adults referees who feel they might be/or have had suggested they might be on the spectrum. It’s a bit of a postcode lottery as to what level or capacity of services there are in different places though to provide these assessments and support. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have aspergers. I was officially diagnosed through the NHS a year ago, although I had a private dx in 2014. What in particular are you wanting to know? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got an inkling I was on the spectrum after reading an article in a Sunday supplement about women with aspergers and how they present differently to men. That was about 12 years ago. It was a 'eureka!' moment.
Getting the diagnosis was a huge relief. I could forgive myself for struggling with so-called ordinary life stuff that everyone else seemed to sail through. I stopped pushing myself too hard to fit in and I've been able to learn my limits and I no longer feel like a failure. It's also helped me realise that a lot of my history of poor mental health was due to autistic burnout, not chronic depression or borderline. It's been very validating to have the dx. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's much easier in my area now to get a referral accepted, but it depends on your gp. If they are aware of autism and how it can be 'masked' by some individuals then getting them to refer you should be fine. Unfortunately, many health care professionals are still woefully uninformed about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been diagnosed as austistic, it was about a year ago and to honest a relief as I knew I didn't think or behave they same way others did and it gave me an explanation.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I work closely with an autism unit who assess adults referees who feel they might be/or have had suggested they might be on the spectrum. It’s a bit of a postcode lottery as to what level or capacity of services there are in different places though to provide these assessments and support. "
Who refers them? Like family/ friends or doctors? Or self referral? |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I work closely with an autism unit who assess adults referees who feel they might be/or have had suggested they might be on the spectrum. It’s a bit of a postcode lottery as to what level or capacity of services there are in different places though to provide these assessments and support.
Who refers them? Like family/ friends or doctors? Or self referral?"
All, this one takes self-referrals, GP referrals or referrals from other professionals or support people which could include friends/family. But is specific to a local area. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I work closely with an autism unit who assess adults referees who feel they might be/or have had suggested they might be on the spectrum. It’s a bit of a postcode lottery as to what level or capacity of services there are in different places though to provide these assessments and support.
Who refers them? Like family/ friends or doctors? Or self referral?"
I was refered by a health care professional. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I got an inkling I was on the spectrum after reading an article in a Sunday supplement about women with aspergers and how they present differently to men. That was about 12 years ago. It was a 'eureka!' moment.
Getting the diagnosis was a huge relief. I could forgive myself for struggling with so-called ordinary life stuff that everyone else seemed to sail through. I stopped pushing myself too hard to fit in and I've been able to learn my limits and I no longer feel like a failure. It's also helped me realise that a lot of my history of poor mental health was due to autistic burnout, not chronic depression or borderline. It's been very validating to have the dx. "
What is a dx?
In answer to your other question, it's nothing in particular I'm wanting to know. I just don't know much about it and I want to learn, if that makes sense.
I know I can Google but real life info is more useful I think. 
I've seen it mentioned on a couple of threads so thought I'd ask. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Was it a struggle to get a diagnosis ? I have anxiety and depression and I think maybe slightly autistic. Explains a lot that men show different signs to women."
Is it that you feel differently to the way men's symptoms are described? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I realised when my kid was being assessed. As others say it's a huge relief to understand why you find things hard. I'm on waiting list for diagnosis.
I'm a lot more compassionate to myself now. I feel violent towards daft parents who moan they don't want their kids to "have a label" when I think how different/less stressed my life could have been if I'd understand this at 18 instead of 42. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've been diagnosed as austistic, it was about a year ago and to honest a relief as I knew I didn't think or behave they same way others did and it gave me an explanation.
"
Who did you ask for the info? As in how did you get diagnosed? |
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It was a long road I always felt different but trying to quantify and describe how was very hard.
I then dated a teacher for a while and they immediately picked up on it. They encouraged me to go to the doctors and not be fobbed off.
I am very lucky to have a very sympathetic health authority who referred me to a centre.
As described above it was very much a Eureka moment but if anything with the diagnosis my symptoms seem to have got worse especially after a massive bad patch in my life. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I was thinking just a few hours ago about doing a thread for neurodiverse fabbers, then I read this. It's a nice coincidence. "
What does neurodiverse mean?
Sorry for all the dumb questions, I don't know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I got an inkling I was on the spectrum after reading an article in a Sunday supplement about women with aspergers and how they present differently to men. That was about 12 years ago. It was a 'eureka!' moment.
Getting the diagnosis was a huge relief. I could forgive myself for struggling with so-called ordinary life stuff that everyone else seemed to sail through. I stopped pushing myself too hard to fit in and I've been able to learn my limits and I no longer feel like a failure. It's also helped me realise that a lot of my history of poor mental health was due to autistic burnout, not chronic depression or borderline. It's been very validating to have the dx.
What is a dx?
In answer to your other question, it's nothing in particular I'm wanting to know. I just don't know much about it and I want to learn, if that makes sense.
I know I can Google but real life info is more useful I think.
I've seen it mentioned on a couple of threads so thought I'd ask. "
Dx = diagnosis |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've been diagnosed as austistic, it was about a year ago and to honest a relief as I knew I didn't think or behave they same way others did and it gave me an explanation.
Who did you ask for the info? As in how did you get diagnosed?"
I had been refed to a mental health team and it was suggested that I go for an assessment. I was shocked but relived. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I work closely with an autism unit who assess adults referees who feel they might be/or have had suggested they might be on the spectrum. It’s a bit of a postcode lottery as to what level or capacity of services there are in different places though to provide these assessments and support.
Who refers them? Like family/ friends or doctors? Or self referral?
All, this one takes self-referrals, GP referrals or referrals from other professionals or support people which could include friends/family. But is specific to a local area."
Thank you. I'm learning. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was thinking just a few hours ago about doing a thread for neurodiverse fabbers, then I read this. It's a nice coincidence.
What does neurodiverse mean?
Sorry for all the dumb questions, I don't know. "
Not neurotypical, which is what 'normal' people are. An autism spectrum condition is classed as a neuro developmental disorder (I hate the word disorder). |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I realised when my kid was being assessed. As others say it's a huge relief to understand why you find things hard. I'm on waiting list for diagnosis.
I'm a lot more compassionate to myself now. I feel violent towards daft parents who moan they don't want their kids to "have a label" when I think how different/less stressed my life could have been if I'd understand this at 18 instead of 42."
Did you realise because of the questions they were asking your child?
Maybe it's not the label as such, but people's reaction to the label. Because they don't understand. Fear of the unknown. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was thinking just a few hours ago about doing a thread for neurodiverse fabbers, then I read this. It's a nice coincidence.
What does neurodiverse mean?
Sorry for all the dumb questions, I don't know.
Not neurotypical, which is what 'normal' people are. An autism spectrum condition is classed as a neuro developmental disorder (I hate the word disorder). "
Me too  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It was a long road I always felt different but trying to quantify and describe how was very hard.
I then dated a teacher for a while and they immediately picked up on it. They encouraged me to go to the doctors and not be fobbed off.
I am very lucky to have a very sympathetic health authority who referred me to a centre.
As described above it was very much a Eureka moment but if anything with the diagnosis my symptoms seem to have got worse especially after a massive bad patch in my life. "
How did you feel different? Can you give any examples? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've been diagnosed as austistic, it was about a year ago and to honest a relief as I knew I didn't think or behave they same way others did and it gave me an explanation.
Who did you ask for the info? As in how did you get diagnosed?
I had been refed to a mental health team and it was suggested that I go for an assessment. I was shocked but relived. "
Why shocked? Because you didn't know much about it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I realised when my kid was being assessed. As others say it's a huge relief to understand why you find things hard. I'm on waiting list for diagnosis.
I'm a lot more compassionate to myself now. I feel violent towards daft parents who moan they don't want their kids to "have a label" when I think how different/less stressed my life could have been if I'd understand this at 18 instead of 42."
Exactly. If I'd been told at 11 I was autistic before the teenage years kicked in I could have been saved a world of pain. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've been diagnosed as austistic, it was about a year ago and to honest a relief as I knew I didn't think or behave they same way others did and it gave me an explanation.
Who did you ask for the info? As in how did you get diagnosed?
I had been refed to a mental health team and it was suggested that I go for an assessment. I was shocked but relived.
Why shocked? Because you didn't know much about it?"
yes and because I didn't understand it. But now it make total sense. |
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"It was a long road I always felt different but trying to quantify and describe how was very hard.
I then dated a teacher for a while and they immediately picked up on it. They encouraged me to go to the doctors and not be fobbed off.
I am very lucky to have a very sympathetic health authority who referred me to a centre.
As described above it was very much a Eureka moment but if anything with the diagnosis my symptoms seem to have got worse especially after a massive bad patch in my life.
How did you feel different? Can you give any examples?"
Socially Awkward with elements of trying to overcompensate.
Routines and tantrums when they were broken. I’m such a pedant.
Frustrations with people for not automatically thinking on my wavelength.
Stuff like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sorry for all the questions.
I'm trying to reply to everyone but can't keep up.  "
Not a problem, I wish more people would ask questions rather make assumptions or judgements. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It was a long road I always felt different but trying to quantify and describe how was very hard.
I then dated a teacher for a while and they immediately picked up on it. They encouraged me to go to the doctors and not be fobbed off.
I am very lucky to have a very sympathetic health authority who referred me to a centre.
As described above it was very much a Eureka moment but if anything with the diagnosis my symptoms seem to have got worse especially after a massive bad patch in my life.
How did you feel different? Can you give any examples?
Socially Awkward with elements of trying to overcompensate.
Routines and tantrums when they were broken. I’m such a pedant.
Frustrations with people for not automatically thinking on my wavelength.
Stuff like that. "
That's exactly the same for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sorry for all the questions.
I'm trying to reply to everyone but can't keep up.
Not a problem, I wish more people would ask questions rather make assumptions or judgements. "
Definitely |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
One of my best friends was recently diagnosed, related to a diagnosis for one of her daughters. It was a chance accident really that while they were assessing her daughter they assessed her. As another women said, it was a EUREKA moment. All the things that made her feel different are now somehow valid.
For me, on the outside looking in, she had always just been “odd”. It’s just her. She cannot make a plan or drives me crazy changing her mind about a plan, often goes awol, struggles in a loud group, gets really really focused on one piece of detail that the rest of us are just not seeing.
She definitely feels more free I think. Free to be who she is without struggling to find a reason.
V x
|
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I work closely with an autism unit who assess adults referees who feel they might be/or have had suggested they might be on the spectrum. It’s a bit of a postcode lottery as to what level or capacity of services there are in different places though to provide these assessments and support.
Who refers them? Like family/ friends or doctors? Or self referral?
All, this one takes self-referrals, GP referrals or referrals from other professionals or support people which could include friends/family. But is specific to a local area.
Thank you. I'm learning. "
All kudos to you and there’s no such thing as a dumb question; how does one know till one asks?
Sometimes an area has a specific autism unit, sometimes it sits within the mental health services and sometimes it’s just one or two specialist staff within general teams depending on how the area is set up. There’s a lack of funding into these and other mental health or similar neurodivergent services sadly, but at the same time there’s an increasing trend for people talking out more and awareness growing of what aspergers, autism and also mental health conditions involve, and the impacts on day to day to life and most importantly the strategies to make things easier for people and those living, working with those diagnosed.
I’ve been working on a design project for some services to be more psychologically informed environments and trauma informed but also more neurodiverse friendly - a really small example is having initial meeting rooms that have lights that can be dimmed rather than glaring fluorescent lights as sensory overload can be difficult, but I digress. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’m just trying to get my youngest son diagnosed after a long fight. It’s been difficult because he has special needs and they don’t want to add another label. There’s no adult diagnostic unit in our area, but luckily because he has mental health issues he can get it done through the psychiatric team. He’s always struggled with his emotions, and change. There are other behaviours but would take so long to list. X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It was a long road I always felt different but trying to quantify and describe how was very hard.
I then dated a teacher for a while and they immediately picked up on it. They encouraged me to go to the doctors and not be fobbed off.
I am very lucky to have a very sympathetic health authority who referred me to a centre.
As described above it was very much a Eureka moment but if anything with the diagnosis my symptoms seem to have got worse especially after a massive bad patch in my life.
How did you feel different? Can you give any examples?
Socially Awkward with elements of trying to overcompensate.
Routines and tantrums when they were broken. I’m such a pedant.
Frustrations with people for not automatically thinking on my wavelength.
Stuff like that. "
Has it got any easier now you know? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sorry for all the questions.
I'm trying to reply to everyone but can't keep up.
Not a problem, I wish more people would ask questions rather make assumptions or judgements. "
Are there different variations/ grades/ don't know what term to use/ of Asperger's?
I'm trying to think how I know what (little) I know about it. Maybe people make assumptions because they know some aspects but not others. |
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"It was a long road I always felt different but trying to quantify and describe how was very hard.
I then dated a teacher for a while and they immediately picked up on it. They encouraged me to go to the doctors and not be fobbed off.
I am very lucky to have a very sympathetic health authority who referred me to a centre.
As described above it was very much a Eureka moment but if anything with the diagnosis my symptoms seem to have got worse especially after a massive bad patch in my life.
How did you feel different? Can you give any examples?
Socially Awkward with elements of trying to overcompensate.
Routines and tantrums when they were broken. I’m such a pedant.
Frustrations with people for not automatically thinking on my wavelength.
Stuff like that.
Has it got any easier now you know?"
Yes and no. I wish I could expand but it’s early days |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"One of my best friends was recently diagnosed, related to a diagnosis for one of her daughters. It was a chance accident really that while they were assessing her daughter they assessed her. As another women said, it was a EUREKA moment. All the things that made her feel different are now somehow valid.
For me, on the outside looking in, she had always just been “odd”. It’s just her. She cannot make a plan or drives me crazy changing her mind about a plan, often goes awol, struggles in a loud group, gets really really focused on one piece of detail that the rest of us are just not seeing.
She definitely feels more free I think. Free to be who she is without struggling to find a reason.
V x
"
Can she see the positives? The focus one seems like it could be a positive. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I work closely with an autism unit who assess adults referees who feel they might be/or have had suggested they might be on the spectrum. It’s a bit of a postcode lottery as to what level or capacity of services there are in different places though to provide these assessments and support.
Who refers them? Like family/ friends or doctors? Or self referral?
All, this one takes self-referrals, GP referrals or referrals from other professionals or support people which could include friends/family. But is specific to a local area.
Thank you. I'm learning.
All kudos to you and there’s no such thing as a dumb question; how does one know till one asks?
Sometimes an area has a specific autism unit, sometimes it sits within the mental health services and sometimes it’s just one or two specialist staff within general teams depending on how the area is set up. There’s a lack of funding into these and other mental health or similar neurodivergent services sadly, but at the same time there’s an increasing trend for people talking out more and awareness growing of what aspergers, autism and also mental health conditions involve, and the impacts on day to day to life and most importantly the strategies to make things easier for people and those living, working with those diagnosed.
I’ve been working on a design project for some services to be more psychologically informed environments and trauma informed but also more neurodiverse friendly - a really small example is having initial meeting rooms that have lights that can be dimmed rather than glaring fluorescent lights as sensory overload can be difficult, but I digress. "
I didn't know what your last paragraph meant but I've read it a few times and it makes sense now.
Pretty much every subject seems to be underfunded.  I don't mean that in a flippant way. Just a general "bleeping crap" way. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m just trying to get my youngest son diagnosed after a long fight. It’s been difficult because he has special needs and they don’t want to add another label. There’s no adult diagnostic unit in our area, but luckily because he has mental health issues he can get it done through the psychiatric team. He’s always struggled with his emotions, and change. There are other behaviours but would take so long to list. X "
Is your other son autistic too? How would diagnosing him help the younger one, if he has special needs anyway? Could you help him with the things you already know? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My neighbour has it he's 50,he can't work and he finds life very hard, but he manages well, lives on his own, drives, I get on with him but I'm his only friend really. "
You're a good egg. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It was a long road I always felt different but trying to quantify and describe how was very hard.
I then dated a teacher for a while and they immediately picked up on it. They encouraged me to go to the doctors and not be fobbed off.
I am very lucky to have a very sympathetic health authority who referred me to a centre.
As described above it was very much a Eureka moment but if anything with the diagnosis my symptoms seem to have got worse especially after a massive bad patch in my life.
How did you feel different? Can you give any examples?
Socially Awkward with elements of trying to overcompensate.
Routines and tantrums when they were broken. I’m such a pedant.
Frustrations with people for not automatically thinking on my wavelength.
Stuff like that.
Has it got any easier now you know?
Yes and no. I wish I could expand but it’s early days "
Sorry if I'm being too personal. |
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"It was a long road I always felt different but trying to quantify and describe how was very hard.
I then dated a teacher for a while and they immediately picked up on it. They encouraged me to go to the doctors and not be fobbed off.
I am very lucky to have a very sympathetic health authority who referred me to a centre.
As described above it was very much a Eureka moment but if anything with the diagnosis my symptoms seem to have got worse especially after a massive bad patch in my life.
How did you feel different? Can you give any examples?
Socially Awkward with elements of trying to overcompensate.
Routines and tantrums when they were broken. I’m such a pedant.
Frustrations with people for not automatically thinking on my wavelength.
Stuff like that.
Has it got any easier now you know?
Yes and no. I wish I could expand but it’s early days
Sorry if I'm being too personal. "
You are not don’t worry. I just struggle to describe it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m just trying to get my youngest son diagnosed after a long fight. It’s been difficult because he has special needs and they don’t want to add another label. There’s no adult diagnostic unit in our area, but luckily because he has mental health issues he can get it done through the psychiatric team. He’s always struggled with his emotions, and change. There are other behaviours but would take so long to list. X
Is your other son autistic too? How would diagnosing him help the younger one, if he has special needs anyway? Could you help him with the things you already know? "
No my eldest isn’t autistic, he has traits as part of his condition anyway. My youngest is aware he’s different, he needs specialist help to cope with some of the behaviours that are on top of his special needs behaviour. I do help him as much as I can, I’m the one that deals with his outbursts and meltdowns but he also needs help to deal with his emotions and the anger that I can’t help with x |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I work closely with an autism unit who assess adults referees who feel they might be/or have had suggested they might be on the spectrum. It’s a bit of a postcode lottery as to what level or capacity of services there are in different places though to provide these assessments and support.
Who refers them? Like family/ friends or doctors? Or self referral?
All, this one takes self-referrals, GP referrals or referrals from other professionals or support people which could include friends/family. But is specific to a local area.
Thank you. I'm learning.
All kudos to you and there’s no such thing as a dumb question; how does one know till one asks?
Sometimes an area has a specific autism unit, sometimes it sits within the mental health services and sometimes it’s just one or two specialist staff within general teams depending on how the area is set up. There’s a lack of funding into these and other mental health or similar neurodivergent services sadly, but at the same time there’s an increasing trend for people talking out more and awareness growing of what aspergers, autism and also mental health conditions involve, and the impacts on day to day to life and most importantly the strategies to make things easier for people and those living, working with those diagnosed.
I’ve been working on a design project for some services to be more psychologically informed environments and trauma informed but also more neurodiverse friendly - a really small example is having initial meeting rooms that have lights that can be dimmed rather than glaring fluorescent lights as sensory overload can be difficult, but I digress.
I didn't know what your last paragraph meant but I've read it a few times and it makes sense now.
Pretty much every subject seems to be underfunded. I don't mean that in a flippant way. Just a general "bleeping crap" way. "
Sorry it was rather jargonistic - PIE (psychologically informed environments) and TIC (trauma informed care) are approaches to working with people that place psychological well-being at the centre of support, and understand the prevalence of complex trauma and early attachment issues and the impact of these on people and are used a lot in homeless work. PIE originated from the UK specifically around homelessness and TIC from the US initially from domestic violence settings. Neurodiverse friendly approaches are ones that consider the differences in environment/approach that neuro-atypical people flourish in that may not impact either way on neuro-typicals. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It was a long road I always felt different but trying to quantify and describe how was very hard.
I then dated a teacher for a while and they immediately picked up on it. They encouraged me to go to the doctors and not be fobbed off.
I am very lucky to have a very sympathetic health authority who referred me to a centre.
As described above it was very much a Eureka moment but if anything with the diagnosis my symptoms seem to have got worse especially after a massive bad patch in my life.
How did you feel different? Can you give any examples?
Socially Awkward with elements of trying to overcompensate.
Routines and tantrums when they were broken. I’m such a pedant.
Frustrations with people for not automatically thinking on my wavelength.
Stuff like that.
Has it got any easier now you know?
Yes and no. I wish I could expand but it’s early days
Sorry if I'm being too personal.
You are not don’t worry. I just struggle to describe it. "
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m just trying to get my youngest son diagnosed after a long fight. It’s been difficult because he has special needs and they don’t want to add another label. There’s no adult diagnostic unit in our area, but luckily because he has mental health issues he can get it done through the psychiatric team. He’s always struggled with his emotions, and change. There are other behaviours but would take so long to list. X
Is your other son autistic too? How would diagnosing him help the younger one, if he has special needs anyway? Could you help him with the things you already know?
No my eldest isn’t autistic, he has traits as part of his condition anyway. My youngest is aware he’s different, he needs specialist help to cope with some of the behaviours that are on top of his special needs behaviour. I do help him as much as I can, I’m the one that deals with his outbursts and meltdowns but he also needs help to deal with his emotions and the anger that I can’t help with x "
Apologies, I knew you'd mentioned it before but couldn't remember the details.
That makes sense. My questions sounded abrupt but I didn't mean it that way. X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I work closely with an autism unit who assess adults referees who feel they might be/or have had suggested they might be on the spectrum. It’s a bit of a postcode lottery as to what level or capacity of services there are in different places though to provide these assessments and support.
Who refers them? Like family/ friends or doctors? Or self referral?
All, this one takes self-referrals, GP referrals or referrals from other professionals or support people which could include friends/family. But is specific to a local area.
Thank you. I'm learning.
All kudos to you and there’s no such thing as a dumb question; how does one know till one asks?
Sometimes an area has a specific autism unit, sometimes it sits within the mental health services and sometimes it’s just one or two specialist staff within general teams depending on how the area is set up. There’s a lack of funding into these and other mental health or similar neurodivergent services sadly, but at the same time there’s an increasing trend for people talking out more and awareness growing of what aspergers, autism and also mental health conditions involve, and the impacts on day to day to life and most importantly the strategies to make things easier for people and those living, working with those diagnosed.
I’ve been working on a design project for some services to be more psychologically informed environments and trauma informed but also more neurodiverse friendly - a really small example is having initial meeting rooms that have lights that can be dimmed rather than glaring fluorescent lights as sensory overload can be difficult, but I digress.
I didn't know what your last paragraph meant but I've read it a few times and it makes sense now.
Pretty much every subject seems to be underfunded. I don't mean that in a flippant way. Just a general "bleeping crap" way.
Sorry it was rather jargonistic - PIE (psychologically informed environments) and TIC (trauma informed care) are approaches to working with people that place psychological well-being at the centre of support, and understand the prevalence of complex trauma and early attachment issues and the impact of these on people and are used a lot in homeless work. PIE originated from the UK specifically around homelessness and TIC from the US initially from domestic violence settings. Neurodiverse friendly approaches are ones that consider the differences in environment/approach that neuro-atypical people flourish in that may not impact either way on neuro-typicals."
Why would the TIC originate from dv settings? In that they need to be handled carefully so they don't feel threatened (again)? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’ve worked with children teens and adults with autism for some years now and I’m waiting for my 17 year old to be ‘tested’ for Aspergers although I know she definitely is! It’s all such a huge spectrum I’ve supported children who you wouldn’t know any different until there was a trigger and teens who have punched scratched and bitten me ! My daughter mainly has the anxiety side of Aspergers and also doesn’t have a great filter which can cause some hilarious moments we all have a good laugh about - with her not at her ! X |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I work closely with an autism unit who assess adults referees who feel they might be/or have had suggested they might be on the spectrum. It’s a bit of a postcode lottery as to what level or capacity of services there are in different places though to provide these assessments and support.
Who refers them? Like family/ friends or doctors? Or self referral?
All, this one takes self-referrals, GP referrals or referrals from other professionals or support people which could include friends/family. But is specific to a local area.
Thank you. I'm learning.
All kudos to you and there’s no such thing as a dumb question; how does one know till one asks?
Sometimes an area has a specific autism unit, sometimes it sits within the mental health services and sometimes it’s just one or two specialist staff within general teams depending on how the area is set up. There’s a lack of funding into these and other mental health or similar neurodivergent services sadly, but at the same time there’s an increasing trend for people talking out more and awareness growing of what aspergers, autism and also mental health conditions involve, and the impacts on day to day to life and most importantly the strategies to make things easier for people and those living, working with those diagnosed.
I’ve been working on a design project for some services to be more psychologically informed environments and trauma informed but also more neurodiverse friendly - a really small example is having initial meeting rooms that have lights that can be dimmed rather than glaring fluorescent lights as sensory overload can be difficult, but I digress.
I didn't know what your last paragraph meant but I've read it a few times and it makes sense now.
Pretty much every subject seems to be underfunded. I don't mean that in a flippant way. Just a general "bleeping crap" way.
Sorry it was rather jargonistic - PIE (psychologically informed environments) and TIC (trauma informed care) are approaches to working with people that place psychological well-being at the centre of support, and understand the prevalence of complex trauma and early attachment issues and the impact of these on people and are used a lot in homeless work. PIE originated from the UK specifically around homelessness and TIC from the US initially from domestic violence settings. Neurodiverse friendly approaches are ones that consider the differences in environment/approach that neuro-atypical people flourish in that may not impact either way on neuro-typicals.
Why would the TIC originate from dv settings? In that they need to be handled carefully so they don't feel threatened (again)? "
It’s just where the research and methodology first started, looking at reasons why people may continue to put themselves into similar unhealthy relationship set ups and getting to root trauma and attachment theory formulations as to why. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sorry for all the questions.
I'm trying to reply to everyone but can't keep up.
Not a problem, I wish more people would ask questions rather make assumptions or judgements.
Are there different variations/ grades/ don't know what term to use/ of Asperger's?
I'm trying to think how I know what (little) I know about it. Maybe people make assumptions because they know some aspects but not others. "
Yes, so it's a spectrum. You can be low down or very high up on it.
So I'm considered high functioning as I can hold down a job, relationships and live independently All be with challenges and difficulties. Where as if you are very high on the spectrum you may not be able to do those things or even be non verbal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve worked with children teens and adults with autism for some years now and I’m waiting for my 17 year old to be ‘tested’ for Aspergers although I know she definitely is! It’s all such a huge spectrum I’ve supported children who you wouldn’t know any different until there was a trigger and teens who have punched scratched and bitten me ! My daughter mainly has the anxiety side of Aspergers and also doesn’t have a great filter which can cause some hilarious moments we all have a good laugh about - with her not at her ! X"
I don't have a filter! It can cause problems for me. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
My hubbys cousin who is mid forties was only diagnosed around 10 years ago when a gf of his recognised some symptoms.
His mum and dad made him live in a caravan at the bottom of their garden from the age of 16 to when he moved out because they were ashamed of him. He wasn't even allowed to go to his only sister's wedding. I've met him, he's a lovely guy, his story is so sad given that his mother is a health visitor. But he has his own place now and a job he enjoys, just not many friends. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve worked with children teens and adults with autism for some years now and I’m waiting for my 17 year old to be ‘tested’ for Aspergers although I know she definitely is! It’s all such a huge spectrum I’ve supported children who you wouldn’t know any different until there was a trigger and teens who have punched scratched and bitten me ! My daughter mainly has the anxiety side of Aspergers and also doesn’t have a great filter which can cause some hilarious moments we all have a good laugh about - with her not at her ! X
I don't have a filter! It can cause problems for me. "
I can imagine it can, hers are mainly funny things at the moment! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve worked with children teens and adults with autism for some years now and I’m waiting for my 17 year old to be ‘tested’ for Aspergers although I know she definitely is! It’s all such a huge spectrum I’ve supported children who you wouldn’t know any different until there was a trigger and teens who have punched scratched and bitten me ! My daughter mainly has the anxiety side of Aspergers and also doesn’t have a great filter which can cause some hilarious moments we all have a good laugh about - with her not at her ! X
I don't have a filter! It can cause problems for me.
I can imagine it can, hers are mainly funny things at the moment! X"
It can be hilarious and people often say "I say what they are thinking", but I say whatever pops into my head. I'm trying to work on it. |
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In recent years a few people (who know a bit about autism) have asked me about my autism or suggested I'm a bit on the scale. Well it's news to me. So I did some reading and it would explain a few of my quirks and difficulties in social situations. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. The way I see it I'm just me, that's how I'm programmed. I do well for myself. Over my life I have learned interact with people. To play the game if you will. I didn't realise how much of the social things come naturally to people. Maybe that why every one else makes it look so easy and don't drop the social clanggers I do. One of the things I never noticed to it was pointed out to me is sometimes I have subtle melt downs when I get overwhelmed. I think I hide them ok but My Girl picks up on them. I know it's a bit hard to diagnose and it really doesn't effect me because I'm just me. So maybe I am a bit, maybe I'm not. The one thing I am more awear of is others on the scale. One because I see so much of the way I am (or the way I've learnt not to be) in them. I just used to think they were odd like me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In recent years a few people (who know a bit about autism) have asked me about my autism or suggested I'm a bit on the scale. Well it's news to me. So I did some reading and it would explain a few of my quirks and difficulties in social situations. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. The way I see it I'm just me, that's how I'm programmed. I do well for myself. Over my life I have learned interact with people. To play the game if you will. I didn't realise how much of the social things come naturally to people. Maybe that why every one else makes it look so easy and don't drop the social clanggers I do. One of the things I never noticed to it was pointed out to me is sometimes I have subtle melt downs when I get overwhelmed. I think I hide them ok but My Girl picks up on them. I know it's a bit hard to diagnose and it really doesn't effect me because I'm just me. So maybe I am a bit, maybe I'm not. The one thing I am more awear of is others on the scale. One because I see so much of the way I am (or the way I've learnt not to be) in them. I just used to think they were odd like me."
Just had a nose at your profile and it’s one of the best bio’s I’ve read on here ! X |
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"In recent years a few people (who know a bit about autism) have asked me about my autism or suggested I'm a bit on the scale. Well it's news to me. So I did some reading and it would explain a few of my quirks and difficulties in social situations. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. The way I see it I'm just me, that's how I'm programmed. I do well for myself. Over my life I have learned interact with people. To play the game if you will. I didn't realise how much of the social things come naturally to people. Maybe that why every one else makes it look so easy and don't drop the social clanggers I do. One of the things I never noticed to it was pointed out to me is sometimes I have subtle melt downs when I get overwhelmed. I think I hide them ok but My Girl picks up on them. I know it's a bit hard to diagnose and it really doesn't effect me because I'm just me. So maybe I am a bit, maybe I'm not. The one thing I am more awear of is others on the scale. One because I see so much of the way I am (or the way I've learnt not to be) in them. I just used to think they were odd like me."
Just looked at this. I hope no one thinks I'm being flippant or dismissive. Just talking about my personal experience. I know some people are higher on the scale and/or have more difficulties resulting from autism. Just saying for me I am, I didn't know and just adapted and followed paths that worked better for me. But I've had difficulties. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m just trying to get my youngest son diagnosed after a long fight. It’s been difficult because he has special needs and they don’t want to add another label. There’s no adult diagnostic unit in our area, but luckily because he has mental health issues he can get it done through the psychiatric team. He’s always struggled with his emotions, and change. There are other behaviours but would take so long to list. X
Is your other son autistic too? How would diagnosing him help the younger one, if he has special needs anyway? Could you help him with the things you already know?
No my eldest isn’t autistic, he has traits as part of his condition anyway. My youngest is aware he’s different, he needs specialist help to cope with some of the behaviours that are on top of his special needs behaviour. I do help him as much as I can, I’m the one that deals with his outbursts and meltdowns but he also needs help to deal with his emotions and the anger that I can’t help with x
Apologies, I knew you'd mentioned it before but couldn't remember the details.
That makes sense. My questions sounded abrupt but I didn't mean it that way. X"
That’s ok, I didn’t take it that way x |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"In recent years a few people (who know a bit about autism) have asked me about my autism or suggested I'm a bit on the scale. Well it's news to me. So I did some reading and it would explain a few of my quirks and difficulties in social situations. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. The way I see it I'm just me, that's how I'm programmed. I do well for myself. Over my life I have learned interact with people. To play the game if you will. I didn't realise how much of the social things come naturally to people. Maybe that why every one else makes it look so easy and don't drop the social clanggers I do. One of the things I never noticed to it was pointed out to me is sometimes I have subtle melt downs when I get overwhelmed. I think I hide them ok but My Girl picks up on them. I know it's a bit hard to diagnose and it really doesn't effect me because I'm just me. So maybe I am a bit, maybe I'm not. The one thing I am more awear of is others on the scale. One because I see so much of the way I am (or the way I've learnt not to be) in them. I just used to think they were odd like me.
Just looked at this. I hope no one thinks I'm being flippant or dismissive. Just talking about my personal experience. I know some people are higher on the scale and/or have more difficulties resulting from autism. Just saying for me I am, I didn't know and just adapted and followed paths that worked better for me. But I've had difficulties."
It didn’t sound at all flippant, it actually was a really useful insight and beautifully accessible. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I was diagnosed in my late teens - referred via GP to my at the time local assessment centre.
I think that most of the time I can pass as neurotypical. Unless people know me quite well or I allow myself to be seen as a different way which is not that often because I find people seem to cast somewhat negative aspersions about you. I'm very academically gifted, I'm just kind of shite at social situations (to really simplify it).
I'm quite particular about certain things, I'm incredibly pedantic and fixate on certain hobbies (what I don't know about Wilde, mythology and Baroque music is not worth knowing) and find it difficult to see the grey area in situations. I find that I often overthink things - if I type a certain thing it can be blunt or whatnot and more often than not it's a reflection of my stream of consciousness. I struggle to understand the nuances of language at certain times - why has this person said this? What exactly is meant by that? There's such a myriad of responses to lift from one sentence where you have no clarification about intended tone etc. In my field of work it serves me well so it's not too bad.
Societal conventions confuse me as well - you're taught/learn to expect certain behaviours and when people deviate from it I find it confusing. I like order and routine - I'm trying to be less particular about those things but it's a work in progress. I like clarity and simplicity - yes means yes and no is no. But life isn't black and white.
Sometimes I feel a bit sad that I am different and I worry my 'quirks' make me unlikeable. And that's when the overthinking steps in and I am all "oh shit, stop being weird" but you can't switch it off.
I'm lucky to have some truly supportive friends who know about this all. When I'm an utter twunt they tell me but they also know when I am having an information overload and just spaffing it all out. And my family are fantastic as well.
I don't really post about it often, I've only found the voice to do so here thanks to the loveliness of a few.
|
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I don't have an official diagnosis yet (but I'm looking into getting one) but I tick about 90% of the boxes for ADHD and high-functioning ASD.
I think the first time somebody brought it to my attention that I had ADHD symptoms was when I was 30, from my boss at the time. He was a 'self made' type guy who had done well despite getting kicked out of school in his early teens. Subsequently I did a lot of research which satisfied me that he was right based on my own experiences. One by one the various bits of the puzzle fell into place. It has actually made my life a lot better understanding why I don't always jive very well with mainstream ways of doing things.
By and large I actually like being the way I am but I just wish I'd known about it sooner. My late teens and 20s were a real struggle with work and relationships, if I knew then what I knew now, I feel like I'd be better qualified and more satisfied in my career. |
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What is interesting is that most of my close friends growing up were also on the spectrum, my ex gf was also autistic... So it seems we Aspies tend to flock together. I guess it's a function of my age that it was never picked up during my time in education - people are way more aware now that it is 'a thing' than they were then. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was diagnosed in my late teens - referred via GP to my at the time local assessment centre.
I think that most of the time I can pass as neurotypical. Unless people know me quite well or I allow myself to be seen as a different way which is not that often because I find people seem to cast somewhat negative aspersions about you. I'm very academically gifted, I'm just kind of shite at social situations (to really simplify it).
I'm quite particular about certain things, I'm incredibly pedantic and fixate on certain hobbies (what I don't know about Wilde, mythology and Baroque music is not worth knowing) and find it difficult to see the grey area in situations. I find that I often overthink things - if I type a certain thing it can be blunt or whatnot and more often than not it's a reflection of my stream of consciousness. I struggle to understand the nuances of language at certain times - why has this person said this? What exactly is meant by that? There's such a myriad of responses to lift from one sentence where you have no clarification about intended tone etc. In my field of work it serves me well so it's not too bad.
Societal conventions confuse me as well - you're taught/learn to expect certain behaviours and when people deviate from it I find it confusing. I like order and routine - I'm trying to be less particular about those things but it's a work in progress. I like clarity and simplicity - yes means yes and no is no. But life isn't black and white.
Sometimes I feel a bit sad that I am different and I worry my 'quirks' make me unlikeable. And that's when the overthinking steps in and I am all "oh shit, stop being weird" but you can't switch it off.
I'm lucky to have some truly supportive friends who know about this all. When I'm an utter twunt they tell me but they also know when I am having an information overload and just spaffing it all out. And my family are fantastic as well.
I don't really post about it often, I've only found the voice to do so here thanks to the loveliness of a few.
"
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’ve worked with children teens and adults with autism for some years now and I’m waiting for my 17 year old to be ‘tested’ for Aspergers although I know she definitely is! It’s all such a huge spectrum I’ve supported children who you wouldn’t know any different until there was a trigger and teens who have punched scratched and bitten me ! My daughter mainly has the anxiety side of Aspergers and also doesn’t have a great filter which can cause some hilarious moments we all have a good laugh about - with her not at her ! X"
Aww |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I work closely with an autism unit who assess adults referees who feel they might be/or have had suggested they might be on the spectrum. It’s a bit of a postcode lottery as to what level or capacity of services there are in different places though to provide these assessments and support.
Who refers them? Like family/ friends or doctors? Or self referral?
All, this one takes self-referrals, GP referrals or referrals from other professionals or support people which could include friends/family. But is specific to a local area.
Thank you. I'm learning.
All kudos to you and there’s no such thing as a dumb question; how does one know till one asks?
Sometimes an area has a specific autism unit, sometimes it sits within the mental health services and sometimes it’s just one or two specialist staff within general teams depending on how the area is set up. There’s a lack of funding into these and other mental health or similar neurodivergent services sadly, but at the same time there’s an increasing trend for people talking out more and awareness growing of what aspergers, autism and also mental health conditions involve, and the impacts on day to day to life and most importantly the strategies to make things easier for people and those living, working with those diagnosed.
I’ve been working on a design project for some services to be more psychologically informed environments and trauma informed but also more neurodiverse friendly - a really small example is having initial meeting rooms that have lights that can be dimmed rather than glaring fluorescent lights as sensory overload can be difficult, but I digress.
I didn't know what your last paragraph meant but I've read it a few times and it makes sense now.
Pretty much every subject seems to be underfunded. I don't mean that in a flippant way. Just a general "bleeping crap" way.
Sorry it was rather jargonistic - PIE (psychologically informed environments) and TIC (trauma informed care) are approaches to working with people that place psychological well-being at the centre of support, and understand the prevalence of complex trauma and early attachment issues and the impact of these on people and are used a lot in homeless work. PIE originated from the UK specifically around homelessness and TIC from the US initially from domestic violence settings. Neurodiverse friendly approaches are ones that consider the differences in environment/approach that neuro-atypical people flourish in that may not impact either way on neuro-typicals.
Why would the TIC originate from dv settings? In that they need to be handled carefully so they don't feel threatened (again)?
It’s just where the research and methodology first started, looking at reasons why people may continue to put themselves into similar unhealthy relationship set ups and getting to root trauma and attachment theory formulations as to why. "
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sorry for all the questions.
I'm trying to reply to everyone but can't keep up.
Not a problem, I wish more people would ask questions rather make assumptions or judgements.
Are there different variations/ grades/ don't know what term to use/ of Asperger's?
I'm trying to think how I know what (little) I know about it. Maybe people make assumptions because they know some aspects but not others.
Yes, so it's a spectrum. You can be low down or very high up on it.
So I'm considered high functioning as I can hold down a job, relationships and live independently All be with challenges and difficulties. Where as if you are very high on the spectrum you may not be able to do those things or even be non verbal. "
I learned something new thank you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My hubbys cousin who is mid forties was only diagnosed around 10 years ago when a gf of his recognised some symptoms.
His mum and dad made him live in a caravan at the bottom of their garden from the age of 16 to when he moved out because they were ashamed of him. He wasn't even allowed to go to his only sister's wedding. I've met him, he's a lovely guy, his story is so sad given that his mother is a health visitor. But he has his own place now and a job he enjoys, just not many friends. "
That's sad. Glad he has a kind of happy ending. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Lots of really interesting stuff on here.
I remember a programme on BBC1 about women being diagnosed as adults:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-sh/women_late_diagnosis_autism
"
That's really interesting thank you. I think I watched it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"In recent years a few people (who know a bit about autism) have asked me about my autism or suggested I'm a bit on the scale. Well it's news to me. So I did some reading and it would explain a few of my quirks and difficulties in social situations. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. The way I see it I'm just me, that's how I'm programmed. I do well for myself. Over my life I have learned interact with people. To play the game if you will. I didn't realise how much of the social things come naturally to people. Maybe that why every one else makes it look so easy and don't drop the social clanggers I do. One of the things I never noticed to it was pointed out to me is sometimes I have subtle melt downs when I get overwhelmed. I think I hide them ok but My Girl picks up on them. I know it's a bit hard to diagnose and it really doesn't effect me because I'm just me. So maybe I am a bit, maybe I'm not. The one thing I am more awear of is others on the scale. One because I see so much of the way I am (or the way I've learnt not to be) in them. I just used to think they were odd like me.
Just looked at this. I hope no one thinks I'm being flippant or dismissive. Just talking about my personal experience. I know some people are higher on the scale and/or have more difficulties resulting from autism. Just saying for me I am, I didn't know and just adapted and followed paths that worked better for me. But I've had difficulties."
Sounds like you're happy either way which is a good thing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I was diagnosed in my late teens - referred via GP to my at the time local assessment centre.
I think that most of the time I can pass as neurotypical. Unless people know me quite well or I allow myself to be seen as a different way which is not that often because I find people seem to cast somewhat negative aspersions about you. I'm very academically gifted, I'm just kind of shite at social situations (to really simplify it).
I'm quite particular about certain things, I'm incredibly pedantic and fixate on certain hobbies (what I don't know about Wilde, mythology and Baroque music is not worth knowing) and find it difficult to see the grey area in situations. I find that I often overthink things - if I type a certain thing it can be blunt or whatnot and more often than not it's a reflection of my stream of consciousness. I struggle to understand the nuances of language at certain times - why has this person said this? What exactly is meant by that? There's such a myriad of responses to lift from one sentence where you have no clarification about intended tone etc. In my field of work it serves me well so it's not too bad.
Societal conventions confuse me as well - you're taught/learn to expect certain behaviours and when people deviate from it I find it confusing. I like order and routine - I'm trying to be less particular about those things but it's a work in progress. I like clarity and simplicity - yes means yes and no is no. But life isn't black and white.
Sometimes I feel a bit sad that I am different and I worry my 'quirks' make me unlikeable. And that's when the overthinking steps in and I am all "oh shit, stop being weird" but you can't switch it off.
I'm lucky to have some truly supportive friends who know about this all. When I'm an utter twunt they tell me but they also know when I am having an information overload and just spaffing it all out. And my family are fantastic as well.
I don't really post about it often, I've only found the voice to do so here thanks to the loveliness of a few.
"
Everyone is different. I think quirky is good. You're lucky to have good friends. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What is interesting is that most of my close friends growing up were also on the spectrum, my ex gf was also autistic... So it seems we Aspies tend to flock together. I guess it's a function of my age that it was never picked up during my time in education - people are way more aware now that it is 'a thing' than they were then. "
I don't remember it from more than a few years ago. Maybe it's only recently been known more about. |
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"In recent years a few people (who know a bit about autism) have asked me about my autism or suggested I'm a bit on the scale. Well it's news to me. So I did some reading and it would explain a few of my quirks and difficulties in social situations. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. The way I see it I'm just me, that's how I'm programmed. I do well for myself. Over my life I have learned interact with people. To play the game if you will. I didn't realise how much of the social things come naturally to people. Maybe that why every one else makes it look so easy and don't drop the social clanggers I do. One of the things I never noticed to it was pointed out to me is sometimes I have subtle melt downs when I get overwhelmed. I think I hide them ok but My Girl picks up on them. I know it's a bit hard to diagnose and it really doesn't effect me because I'm just me. So maybe I am a bit, maybe I'm not. The one thing I am more awear of is others on the scale. One because I see so much of the way I am (or the way I've learnt not to be) in them. I just used to think they were odd like me.
Just looked at this. I hope no one thinks I'm being flippant or dismissive. Just talking about my personal experience. I know some people are higher on the scale and/or have more difficulties resulting from autism. Just saying for me I am, I didn't know and just adapted and followed paths that worked better for me. But I've had difficulties.
Sounds like you're happy either way which is a good thing. "
I am. Sometimes I feel like I'm on a different planet from everyone else. But I've live a good life and managed to be successful despite some of the disadvantages of the way I am. Sometimes the way I am have been an advantage some of the jobs I've had (or at least bringing that element into to the team). I think the key is to first learn to be your own best freind. That's what I did. I used to think I was an awkward weirdo who just didn't get it (or the rest of the world just didn't get it) but I learnt to be ok with that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In recent years a few people (who know a bit about autism) have asked me about my autism or suggested I'm a bit on the scale. Well it's news to me. So I did some reading and it would explain a few of my quirks and difficulties in social situations. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. The way I see it I'm just me, that's how I'm programmed. I do well for myself. Over my life I have learned interact with people. To play the game if you will. I didn't realise how much of the social things come naturally to people. Maybe that why every one else makes it look so easy and don't drop the social clanggers I do. One of the things I never noticed to it was pointed out to me is sometimes I have subtle melt downs when I get overwhelmed. I think I hide them ok but My Girl picks up on them. I know it's a bit hard to diagnose and it really doesn't effect me because I'm just me. So maybe I am a bit, maybe I'm not. The one thing I am more awear of is others on the scale. One because I see so much of the way I am (or the way I've learnt not to be) in them. I just used to think they were odd like me.
Just looked at this. I hope no one thinks I'm being flippant or dismissive. Just talking about my personal experience. I know some people are higher on the scale and/or have more difficulties resulting from autism. Just saying for me I am, I didn't know and just adapted and followed paths that worked better for me. But I've had difficulties.
Sounds like you're happy either way which is a good thing.
I am. Sometimes I feel like I'm on a different planet from everyone else. But I've live a good life and managed to be successful despite some of the disadvantages of the way I am. Sometimes the way I am have been an advantage some of the jobs I've had (or at least bringing that element into to the team). I think the key is to first learn to be your own best freind. That's what I did. I used to think I was an awkward weirdo who just didn't get it (or the rest of the world just didn't get it) but I learnt to be ok with that."
You know I really like this. And similar things that other people have said. There does sound to be positives. |
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"I was diagnosed in my late teens - referred via GP to my at the time local assessment centre.
I think that most of the time I can pass as neurotypical. Unless people know me quite well or I allow myself to be seen as a different way which is not that often because I find people seem to cast somewhat negative aspersions about you. I'm very academically gifted, I'm just kind of shite at social situations (to really simplify it).
I'm quite particular about certain things, I'm incredibly pedantic and fixate on certain hobbies (what I don't know about Wilde, mythology and Baroque music is not worth knowing) and find it difficult to see the grey area in situations. I find that I often overthink things - if I type a certain thing it can be blunt or whatnot and more often than not it's a reflection of my stream of consciousness. I struggle to understand the nuances of language at certain times - why has this person said this? What exactly is meant by that? There's such a myriad of responses to lift from one sentence where you have no clarification about intended tone etc. In my field of work it serves me well so it's not too bad.
Societal conventions confuse me as well - you're taught/learn to expect certain behaviours and when people deviate from it I find it confusing. I like order and routine - I'm trying to be less particular about those things but it's a work in progress. I like clarity and simplicity - yes means yes and no is no. But life isn't black and white.
Sometimes I feel a bit sad that I am different and I worry my 'quirks' make me unlikeable. And that's when the overthinking steps in and I am all "oh shit, stop being weird" but you can't switch it off.
I'm lucky to have some truly supportive friends who know about this all. When I'm an utter twunt they tell me but they also know when I am having an information overload and just spaffing it all out. And my family are fantastic as well.
I don't really post about it often, I've only found the voice to do so here thanks to the loveliness of a few.
"
This really resonates with me. Especially the pedanticness and focused interests.
In all my working like I've had to continuously do exams, I still do at least every two years. I've always struggled with questions. I see ambiguity in a lot of questions where others just see a question. Often leading me to ask for more in depth clarity because there are certain factors relating to the question that have not been stated. I don't like to make assumptions so I need clarity. Or just simply the wording leaves ambiguity in my mind. Yet I must make people so frustrated because everyone seems to understand the question perfectly and jumps to natural assumptions where I see ambiguity. Which used to make me feel such a dummy, why do I just not get things like everyone else? Especially mixed with my dyslexia. And of course at school (especially primary) kids used to call me stupid and a spastic.
As for the focused intrest I feel so bad for the people around me. I in my time must have bored people senseless. I can talk for hours on the things I'm intrested in. Especially when I real off facts and figures. My big things are history (mainly 17th century and cold war) and model railways. But over the years I've also had short term fascinations. When something captures my imagination I have to know all about it. It's only in recent years I come to understand that just becasue I find something fascinating other just don't. I never used to contemplate that people would find what I find interesting. But now I try to tone down my boring the hind leg off people.
I've recently become more awear of how frustrating and difficult I can be to be around with. A lot of it thanks to My Girl. I love the honesty we have and she has allowed me to see (in a nice way) how I am to be with. I am so more aware now when I'm talking people to death with my interests, when I'm having a melt down, when being over pedantic about something and frustrating. Yet she loves me and doesn't try to change me. She has great strategies to deal with when I'm on one. Also now I realise how awesome my mum is and also probably why I never realised there was something wrong with me. As a kid she always supported my interests, took me to museums and listen to me go one about stuff for hours. She still does let me go on for hours and always shows intrest. When in reality I'm probably boring her. She probably always know there was something not normal about me, but she's always made me feel normal and that she's proud of me. She's never made me feel like an alien. But now I understand how annoying, frustrating and dam right difficult I can be and My mum has always taken it in her stride. I am so amazingly lucky to have my awesome mum and My Girl in my life. Sometimes I feel like such a dick or a burden. I don't around them, ever. They help me to know that being me is OK and I'm loved despite being on a slightly different planet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had my son diagnosed at the age of 4/5 as an aspie. With his diagnosis I also realised I had ghostings of Asperger's too. Can understand other peoples Eureka moment, but my family knew I was slightly off tilt on the social interaction scale..so gained a new family nickname at 42 of Aspergic Mick.. you can almost feel the love! |
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"What is interesting is that most of my close friends growing up were also on the spectrum, my ex gf was also autistic... So it seems we Aspies tend to flock together. I guess it's a function of my age that it was never picked up during my time in education - people are way more aware now that it is 'a thing' than they were then.
I don't remember it from more than a few years ago. Maybe it's only recently been known more about. "
I think the difference between now and when I was at school, is that it wasn't looked at as being a 'spectrum' - autism was something you either had, or you didn't. So those with very severe symptoms causing developmental issues or extreme behaviour were obviously given special consideration, but high functioning autistic or attention deficit traits were usually seen as laziness, disruptive behaviour, disobedience or general fecklessness. I don't think the concepts of neurodivergent v neurotypical were fully realised, either.
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"I see ambiguity in a lot of questions where others just see a question. Often leading me to ask for more in depth clarity because there are certain factors relating to the question that have not been stated. I don't like to make assumptions so I need clarity. Or just simply the wording leaves ambiguity in my mind. Yet I must make people so frustrated because everyone seems to understand the question perfectly and jumps to natural assumptions where I see ambiguity. "
Funnily enough I have used this to my advantage in an exam at Uni - wrote a whole essay critiquing rather than answering a question, and got a way better score than I deserved. Tried it a second time (different subject). Barely passed.  |
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