FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Self confidence and gossip

Self confidence and gossip

By * Lexi x OP Woman over a year ago

stockport

How much do you listen to other people's opinions on here? It's weird because it's such a mix of people who know each other in real life and people who have never actually met.. half of the time it's impossible to work out what's true or someone's opinion.

So when you meet someone do you take them as you find them and work out your own opinion or are you swayed by what others think?

How good are you at keeping your head up when people are passing judgement on your choices and relationships?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had someone on here who used to try and sway my opinions on other people a lot. If they had an issue with someone, they tried to get me involved. And I know they would do the same with other people.

When I wouldn’t cave and was an individual who was more than capable of forming her own opinions, they dropped me very quickly

I’ve had others message me asking ‘oh why are you speaking to so and so’

Mehhhhhhh. Cause I can

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I very much take people as I find them. I take any gossip on here with a big pinch of salt and most of it passes over my head anyway.

I'm fairly private about my choices and relationships on here but wouldn't let other people's opinions influence me

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

"I very much take people as I find them. I take any gossip on here with a big pinch of salt and most of it passes over my head anyway.

I'm fairly private about my choices and relationships on here but wouldn't let other people's opinions influence me"

Are you a hive mind now?

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

The only gossipy people I've encountered have come from the forums, they lose interest when I make it clear I'm not interested in discussing other people. I'm here to enjoy it, not get caught up in what passes for drama on here

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Depends on who says it.

I'll listen to friends, and share bits where appropriate. But stuff coming from strangers doesn't do anything for me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Depends on who says it.

I'll listen to friends, and share bits where appropriate. But stuff coming from strangers doesn't do anything for me. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have absolutely no interest in the opinion of anyone from the forum. I'm perfectly capable of forming my own opinions about people.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I once had a guy I'd not met try to tell me that a guy I had met was bad news. When I basically told him to shove off, he said I was tainted by association, that my interests were fabricated because I'm just an attention seeker, and blocked me.

Six months later I saw his profile looking at mine, so I blocked him.

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

"Depends on who says it.

I'll listen to friends, and share bits where appropriate. But stuff coming from strangers doesn't do anything for me. "

I have a few close friends who I listen to and trust about things. As far as gossip goes? I try not to get involved with it - you're only hearing one particular viewpoint which will be clouded by their own personal views. And fuck some of it can be so spiteful and shitty. I prefer to meet people and make my own decision. Sometimes I don't need to meet them to do so.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Only people I have chatted to and feel I know them better. everything else is just blah, blah......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Seen a fair amount of gossip recently and can't be arsed with it. People have opinions based on their own experiences, which are not necessarily relevant to now or anyone else. That whole 3 sides to every story springs to mind. But some people thrive on it. Those that spread misery I avoid like the plague.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I left school a long time ago, that is where gossip belongs in my opinion, funny we don't here any gossip at all from here though but that's because we aren't interested we have no desire to play childish games, only adult ones.

Jo.Xx

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'll only share positive things about people with people I haven't met, and never unsolicited.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have absolutely no interest in the opinion of anyone from the forum. I'm perfectly capable of forming my own opinions about people. "

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By *uxom redCouple over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I, Red take people here and in real life as they come across to me.

I will listen to gossip but it won't affect how I treat others.

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I can be honest and say I never ever hear any gossip, I am not in with 'The In' crowd, despite being here for 10+ years!)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I had someone on here who used to try and sway my opinions on other people a lot. If they had an issue with someone, they tried to get me involved. And I know they would do the same with other people.

When I wouldn’t cave and was an individual who was more than capable of forming her own opinions, they dropped me very quickly

I’ve had others message me asking ‘oh why are you speaking to so and so’

Mehhhhhhh. Cause I can

It's like politics with some people.. trying to form sides on something nobody else gives a shit about..

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

I’m my own person with my own opinions, i make my own mind up about folk.

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By * Lexi x OP Woman over a year ago

stockport

Everyone is in the same nonjudgmental place then

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The opinion of people I will never meet weighs less than the atomic mass of a hydrogen atom. However the opinions of those I hold dear to me is worth more than all the gold in the world.

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

"Everyone is in the same nonjudgmental place then "

Nah. People make judgements. I do. They are more often than not shared by *my* experiences than others though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am my own person, and like to form my own opinions. Sadly I am too gulable, too nice and wanting to see the best in folk, often gets me blind sided

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I wouldn’t cave and was an individual who was more than capable of forming her own opinions, they dropped me very quickly

I’ve had others message me asking ‘oh why are you speaking to so and so’

Mehhhhhhh. Cause I can

It's like politics with some people.. trying to form sides on something nobody else gives a shit about.. "

I was then someone that they and their group would make digs at. Was fun

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I pay no heed to gossip and endeavour to base my assessments of people on my own experience of them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I wouldn’t cave and was an individual who was more than capable of forming her own opinions, they dropped me very quickly

I’ve had others message me asking ‘oh why are you speaking to so and so’

Mehhhhhhh. Cause I can

It's like politics with some people.. trying to form sides on something nobody else gives a shit about..

I was then someone that they and their group would make digs at. Was fun

Bet it was like yesterday's chip paper.. they move on pretty fast..

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By *an_LexaCouple over a year ago

Sunderland

I’m not in on the gossip either. Suits me, I’m not a game player, I don’t want to be part of that. Got way more interesting stuff to be getting on with.

Lex

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Everyone I have met from here has been just great

I've found them all lovely and decent and fun and warm, not an obvious shithouse amongst them

I'd like to think they got similar vibes off me

---

As for tittle, tattle, I am past both interest and caring

---

Top Tips

Treat people as you wish to be treated yet prepare to be let down once in a while and you won't go far wrong

Be flexible, but don't be willing to have the piss taken out of you

---

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I can be honest and say I never ever hear any gossip, I am not in with 'The In' crowd, despite being here for 10+ years!) "

Mostly the same. I think i scare most of the forum

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By *inkysexpotMan over a year ago

leeds

I have always formed my own opinions on people I meet and not listen to what others have to say about them.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions in life and it's my life to live regardless to what people think

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I can be honest and say I never ever hear any gossip, I am not in with 'The In' crowd, despite being here for 10+ years!)

Mostly the same. I think i scare most of the forum

Possibly..

My friends on here are the sensible voices of reason.. got nobody to gossip with!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I very much take people as I find them. I take any gossip on here with a big pinch of salt and most of it passes over my head anyway.

I'm fairly private about my choices and relationships on here but wouldn't let other people's opinions influence me

Are you a hive mind now?

I've got hive heating if that counts

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I could,nt give a flying fuck what anyone thinks.

never have

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By *ndrew CareyMan over a year ago

Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire

"How much do you listen to other people's opinions on here? It's weird because it's such a mix of people who know each other in real life and people who have never actually met.. half of the time it's impossible to work out what's true or someone's opinion.

So when you meet someone do you take them as you find them and work out your own opinion or are you swayed by what others think?

How good are you at keeping your head up when people are passing judgement on your choices and relationships?"

I take every human being at face value. I've been given information about people here that was inaccurate. So I trust my gut and go with it.

We all have opinions but the only opinions that matter to me are the opinions of people that are important to me.

I'll certainly hear people out but I trust my instincts

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wouldn’t listen to, or trust, anyone on the forums really.

A lot of people here seem to spend hours carefully crafting their online persona to hide some seemingly really shitty real life personalities.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Everyone is in the same nonjudgmental place then "

Or lying to themselves!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wouldn’t listen to, or trust, anyone on the forums really.

A lot of people here seem to spend hours carefully crafting their online persona to hide some seemingly really shitty real life personalities. "

lol,,wow,,you like people

slightly judgemental n very presumptuous me thinks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I know and love you all... check your inboxes

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Everyone is in the same nonjudgmental place then

Or lying to themselves!"

A lot of ppl believe their own lies in here for sure.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know and love you all... check your inboxes

If only I was honoured enough to receive a message from you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know and love you all... check your inboxes

I have no clue about you but you have my love until you lose it...

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"I can be honest and say I never ever hear any gossip, I am not in with 'The In' crowd, despite being here for 10+ years!)

Mostly the same. I think i scare most of the forum

Probably same here, as I never join in on the flirty please love me threads or post for the sake of posting, but hey ho, sometimes it is good to be under the radar

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

"I can be honest and say I never ever hear any gossip, I am not in with 'The In' crowd, despite being here for 10+ years!)

Mostly the same. I think i scare most of the forum

Nah. You? You're like fluffy candy floss recently.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I can be honest and say I never ever hear any gossip, I am not in with 'The In' crowd, despite being here for 10+ years!)

Mostly the same. I think i scare most of the forum

Nah. You? You're like fluffy candy floss recently."

I know right??? I'm mellowing in my old age. Fuck it!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I wouldn’t cave and was an individual who was more than capable of forming her own opinions, they dropped me very quickly

I’ve had others message me asking ‘oh why are you speaking to so and so’

Mehhhhhhh. Cause I can

It's like politics with some people.. trying to form sides on something nobody else gives a shit about.. "

Lol the shit is really not given is it.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wouldn’t listen to, or trust, anyone on the forums really.

A lot of people here seem to spend hours carefully crafting their online persona to hide some seemingly really shitty real life personalities.

lol,,wow,,you like people

slightly judgemental n very presumptuous me thinks

Slightly judgemental? I’d go with very judgemental!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I wouldn’t cave and was an individual who was more than capable of forming her own opinions, they dropped me very quickly

I’ve had others message me asking ‘oh why are you speaking to so and so’

Mehhhhhhh. Cause I can

It's like politics with some people.. trying to form sides on something nobody else gives a shit about..

Lol the shit is really not given is it.....

Too complicated.. I'd need a spreadsheet to keep up with any gossip on here! Unless I've met someone it's lost on me!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I haven't seen many replies about the self confidence side, but for sure it can really affect ppl's self confidence when they are the subject of gossip and I think gossips should think about that and think how they would feel to be on the end of it all (maybe some of them already do, which is worse...)

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By *inkysexpotMan over a year ago

leeds

When I wouldn’t cave and was an individual who was more than capable of forming her own opinions, they dropped me very quickly

I’ve had others message me asking ‘oh why are you speaking to so and so’

Mehhhhhhh. Cause I can

Honestly didn't think that sort of playground crap would be happening on here, guess you really can't get away from it at all can you

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By *r MoriartyMan over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

Gamma male here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't know any gossip on here and don't want to know. I don't walk in those circles it's low vibing and more damaging to the person spilling the words than the poor sod they are gossiping about

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

gossip,,lol,,pmsl,,on here,are ya kidding

now anyone that believes that needs help

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

So when you meet someone do you take them as you find them and work out your own opinion or are you swayed by what others think?

How good are you at keeping your head up when people are passing judgement on your choices and relationships?"

I've always pretty much made my own mind up about people and ignored gossip. It can make you unpopular in certain situations and with certain people.

When I was much younger I would sometimes question myself if people passed judgement on my choices and relationships but I went ahead anyway although it wasn't always in my own best interests.

Gossip is natural, malicious gossip is damaging though

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wouldn’t listen to, or trust, anyone on the forums really.

A lot of people here seem to spend hours carefully crafting their online persona to hide some seemingly really shitty real life personalities. "

I go to way too many group socials to hide anything.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wouldn’t listen to, or trust, anyone on the forums really.

A lot of people here seem to spend hours carefully crafting their online persona to hide some seemingly really shitty real life personalities.

I go to way too many group socials to hide anything. "

This would actually make a fun thread... which forumites have never been met by anyone?!?!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think because I’m a lot older a lot of this drama llama gossip shite passes me by.

I may listen to what they have to say but I’ll always make my own mind up about the person in question.

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

So when you meet someone do you take them as you find them and work out your own opinion or are you swayed by what others think?

How good are you at keeping your head up when people are passing judgement on your choices and relationships?"

I think try as you might, sometimes it's very difficult not to hear gossip.

It's a lot easier to not believe it.

People can say what they like about people. No one forces me to take it as gospel.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wouldn’t listen to, or trust, anyone on the forums really.

A lot of people here seem to spend hours carefully crafting their online persona to hide some seemingly really shitty real life personalities.

I go to way too many group socials to hide anything.

This would actually make a fun thread... which forumites have never been met by anyone?!?!

You should do a thread...

Currently I’d say based on regular forum posters a lot of people appear to have met at socials.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wouldn’t listen to, or trust, anyone on the forums really.

A lot of people here seem to spend hours carefully crafting their online persona to hide some seemingly really shitty real life personalities. "

You’re so perceptive, you’ve seen right through me

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By *uzukiNo1Woman over a year ago

Rhyl

Don't need to listen to gossip........the forum's tell all like a crystal ball......ooooooo

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wouldn’t listen to, or trust, anyone on the forums really.

A lot of people here seem to spend hours carefully crafting their online persona to hide some seemingly really shitty real life personalities.

I go to way too many group socials to hide anything.

This would actually make a fun thread... which forumites have never been met by anyone?!?!

You should do a thread...

Currently I’d say based on regular forum posters a lot of people appear to have met at socials."

Bet there are still some prolific catfishers on here!! I'm going to..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve been on off here for 8 years and not as active now but previously the gossip was rife when I was active. It happens as lots of members are also off line friends. It’s all swinging politics. But jealousy is rife.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wouldn’t listen to, or trust, anyone on the forums really.

A lot of people here seem to spend hours carefully crafting their online persona to hide some seemingly really shitty real life personalities.

I go to way too many group socials to hide anything.

This would actually make a fun thread... which forumites have never been met by anyone?!?!

You should do a thread...

Currently I’d say based on regular forum posters a lot of people appear to have met at socials.

Bet there are still some prolific catfishers on here!! I'm going to..

I’ve never been met

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wouldn’t listen to, or trust, anyone on the forums really.

A lot of people here seem to spend hours carefully crafting their online persona to hide some seemingly really shitty real life personalities.

I go to way too many group socials to hide anything.

This would actually make a fun thread... which forumites have never been met by anyone?!?!

You should do a thread...

Currently I’d say based on regular forum posters a lot of people appear to have met at socials.

Bet there are still some prolific catfishers on here!! I'm going to..

I’ve never been met

You're so open you're clearly real!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Im not fussed about people gossiping about me. If they wanted to know the facts they would message me and ask

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"I wouldn’t listen to, or trust, anyone on the forums really.

A lot of people here seem to spend hours carefully crafting their online persona to hide some seemingly really shitty real life personalities.

I go to way too many group socials to hide anything.

This would actually make a fun thread... which forumites have never been met by anyone?!?!

You should do a thread...

Currently I’d say based on regular forum posters a lot of people appear to have met at socials.

Bet there are still some prolific catfishers on here!! I'm going to..

I've not met anyone from the forums but I'm not a catfish

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wouldn’t listen to, or trust, anyone on the forums really.

A lot of people here seem to spend hours carefully crafting their online persona to hide some seemingly really shitty real life personalities.

I go to way too many group socials to hide anything.

This would actually make a fun thread... which forumites have never been met by anyone?!?!

You should do a thread...

Currently I’d say based on regular forum posters a lot of people appear to have met at socials.

Bet there are still some prolific catfishers on here!! I'm going to..

I’ve never been met

Nor have I

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wouldn’t listen to, or trust, anyone on the forums really.

A lot of people here seem to spend hours carefully crafting their online persona to hide some seemingly really shitty real life personalities.

I go to way too many group socials to hide anything.

This would actually make a fun thread... which forumites have never been met by anyone?!?!

You should do a thread...

Currently I’d say based on regular forum posters a lot of people appear to have met at socials.

Bet there are still some prolific catfishers on here!! I'm going to..

If you do veri trails you can see some are obv fake veri's, even for some regs.... Its a scary world....

(wait, is that gossip or opinion....?

)

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Don't need to listen to gossip........the forum's tell all like a crystal ball......ooooooo

"
thats probably the truest thing. If you want to know whose shagging who or whose fallen out youve only got to read the forums

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I know all your dirty little secrets

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I've been the subject of gossip in the past and it really wasn't the most pleasant experience.

An awful lot of people have said, on previous threads on this subject, just how much they hate gossip, etc, etc, yet have been the ones that pedal it.

Sadly it's part and parcel of things on here, some people just can't help themselves.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wouldn’t listen to, or trust, anyone on the forums really.

A lot of people here seem to spend hours carefully crafting their online persona to hide some seemingly really shitty real life personalities.

I go to way too many group socials to hide anything.

This would actually make a fun thread... which forumites have never been met by anyone?!?!

You should do a thread...

Currently I’d say based on regular forum posters a lot of people appear to have met at socials.

Bet there are still some prolific catfishers on here!! I'm going to..

I’ve never been met

You're so open you're clearly real!

I’d give myself a more exciting back story if I was fake, I’m so boring

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wouldn’t listen to, or trust, anyone on the forums really.

A lot of people here seem to spend hours carefully crafting their online persona to hide some seemingly really shitty real life personalities.

I go to way too many group socials to hide anything.

This would actually make a fun thread... which forumites have never been met by anyone?!?!

You should do a thread...

Currently I’d say based on regular forum posters a lot of people appear to have met at socials.

Bet there are still some prolific catfishers on here!! I'm going to..

I’ve never been met

You're so open you're clearly real!

I’d give myself a more exciting back story if I was fake, I’m so boring

Me too.. I only talk about gin and stretchy pants.. I'm crap.. but now I'm wondering who is really an amazing catfish!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm at the point where I don't give a fuck anymore. I previously took it all to heart.

I've supposedly had 'friends' contacting other friends quizzing them about me. If you want to know...ask! It's very hard to trust people so I do my own thing now

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By *uzukiNo1Woman over a year ago

Rhyl

"Don't need to listen to gossip........the forum's tell all like a crystal ball......ooooooo

thats probably the truest thing. If you want to know whose shagging who or whose fallen out youve only got to read the forums

It's like watching the *news at ten*......and in other news.....what's his name got piles....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why isn’t there a like button on here like Facebook

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't need to listen to gossip........the forum's tell all like a crystal ball......ooooooo

thats probably the truest thing. If you want to know whose shagging who or whose fallen out youve only got to read the forums

It's like watching the *news at ten*......and in other news.....what's his name got piles....

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Im not fussed about people gossiping about me. If they wanted to know the facts they would message me and ask"

Where's the fun in actually getting the truth about something? The gossip is far more juicy!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't need to listen to gossip........the forum's tell all like a crystal ball......ooooooo

thats probably the truest thing. If you want to know whose shagging who or whose fallen out youve only got to read the forums

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