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Bad film descriptions

By *ea monkey OP Man over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

We've all read the blurb on the back of a DVD case and in magazines that sell the films but what if the writer had got the wrong impression of the film?

Describe a famous/favourite film badly as effectively as you can...

Here's one to start;

E.T.

Alien stag party goes wrong when one inadvertent d*unk gets left behind, gets found by some kids and has to call his mates to come and pick him up.

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By *hrisAndKatieCouple over a year ago

stevenage

Space wizards fight over land dispute

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Gone With the Wind

Spoilt bitch fucks two men about.

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By *irth.Minge.FireMan over a year ago

Seen in far off places

Loveable and endearing, unintelligent, rogue from Philadelphia is slightly good in the boxing ring, albeit a tad unorthodox.

With a shot at the big time, gets knocked down a lot / gets back up again, and somehow wins.

"Adrriiaaaan!"

A solid enough plot for around 53 sequels...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Star Wars - family argument goes intergalactic

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Spartacus

Uppity serf throws a huge sulk over a girlfriend.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

James Bond.

Cocky bastard acts like a dick, uses women and makes stupid choices regarding danger.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A weird little fecker gets oppertunities to wear intense expressions, run like the clappers and work opposite petite leading ladies while he stands on steps that are out of shot.

.....any Tom Cruise movie you wish.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Taken - over protective father can't let his daughter run her own life

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman over a year ago
Forum Mod

My Own Little World

"A weird little fecker gets oppertunities to wear intense expressions, run like the clappers and work opposite petite leading ladies while he stands on steps that are out of shot.

.....any Tom Cruise movie you wish."

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By *ea monkey OP Man over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Gone With the Wind

Spoilt bitch fucks two men about."

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By *ea monkey OP Man over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Iron man;

Spoilt womaniser/arms dealer gets locked in a cave and decides to take the Arabic peace process into his own hands.

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By *ea monkey OP Man over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Taken - over protective father can't let his daughter run her own life"

Love this!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Taken - over protective father can't let his daughter run her own life

Love this!"

How about this?

Taken 2 - over protective father didn't learn anything from the first movie

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some bloke finds a dead girl in the forest, delighted with his find he starts kissing her while seven other blokes watch.

Welcome to the world of Snow White.

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Red headed boy spends 8 movies cock blocking his best pal

Harry Potter

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"James Bond.

Cocky bastard acts like a dick, uses women and makes stupid choices regarding danger. "

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By *ea monkey OP Man over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Die Hard;

A police officer, unable to deal with his marriage breakdown at Christmas storms into his wife's place of work, runs around in his underwear, exacerbates a bank robbery and kills a lot of people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Red headed boy spends 8 movies cock blocking his best pal

Harry Potter"

That made me laugh

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

A horrific tale of child neglect

Home Alone

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By *ambsLad2Man over a year ago

Peterborough

Get Carter: he gets got.

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By *ea monkey OP Man over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Some bloke finds a dead girl in the forest, delighted with his find he starts kissing her while seven other blokes watch.

Welcome to the world of Snow White."

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By *ea monkey OP Man over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Red headed boy spends 8 movies cock blocking his best pal

Harry Potter"

Brilliant

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/05/19 11:24:47]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

D*unken businessman tries to get rich in Nazi Germany

Schindler's List

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Rich girl, poor boy distract ship's lookout with disastrous consequences

Titanic

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Dracula - A nocturnal man's love for fast food is taken to new heights

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Nuns, goats, a domineering man and his brattish children sing songs and run away to Switzerland chased by men in leather boots.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Only survivor of plane crash goes mad and talks to football while pretending to be Robinson Crusoe

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Bloke with hairy feet goes looking for a ring with a bunch of weird friends and takes three tedious films to find it.

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By *.nottsbloke..Man over a year ago

the vale

2 short blokes trying to return lost jewelry

Lord of the rings

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Australian wears a kilt and puts on a dodgy Scottish accent to fight the English...

Braveheart

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Disfigured man teaches teenagers that dreams can come true

Nightmare on elm street

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Couple break down on a stormy night and sing songs with bloke in stockings who's trying to create the perfect man.

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By *ream3.14159Man over a year ago

Here & there

One girl's choice between bestiality and necrophilia.

(Twilight)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Big fish, too small a boat.

Jaws

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

America invests millions of dollars rescuing Matt Damon

The Martian, Saving Private Ryan, Interstellar, most Matt Damon films actually...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fast and Furious - grown men fighting over who has the fastest car

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

A bunch of fucktard college kids all get murdered...

Any American horror since 1995

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Dont annoy pikies -

Snatch .

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By *ea monkey OP Man over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Disfigured man teaches teenagers that dreams can come true

Nightmare on elm street"

That made me giggle.

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By *ea monkey OP Man over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"One girl's choice between bestiality and necrophilia.

(Twilight)"

Love it!

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By *ea monkey OP Man over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Fast and Furious - grown men fighting over who has the fastest car"

Isnt that just the actual description?

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Scotsman with French accent is assisted by Spaniard with Scottish accent to keep his head and be "the one" - Highlander

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By *ea monkey OP Man over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Scotsman with French accent is assisted by Spaniard with Scottish accent to keep his head and be "the one" - Highlander"

Again, that's actually the film!

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Robot goes back in time to kill mother of child from the future and gets crushed doing so - Terminator

Robot switches sides and goes back in time to save the child and gets melted down when it has done so - Terminator 2

Robot somehow miraculously appears for a third time despite being melted down and battles a female robot - Terminator 3

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Scotsman with French accent is assisted by Spaniard with Scottish accent to keep his head and be "the one" - Highlander

Again, that's actually the film! "

Fair point

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

In fact I've just realised I've got this thread completely wrong and have just been doing bad descriptions of films rather than creatively misunderstood ones!! D'oh!!

D- for GM

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By *ea monkey OP Man over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"In fact I've just realised I've got this thread completely wrong and have just been doing bad descriptions of films rather than creatively misunderstood ones!! D'oh!!

D- for GM "

It's alright, I've been deeply amused by you getting it wrong

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Realised I've got it wrong too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Cynical Yank avoids the war in Morocco

Casablanca.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Starship Troopers