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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll go first, Mrs Scoots, she promised me a shag but says i'm a useless fat bastard and has gone to bed, how do I block and delete.
lock her in my shed
 "
lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll go first, Mrs Scoots, she promised me a shag but says i'm a useless fat bastard and has gone to bed, how do I block and delete."
You're lucky!
I've tried everything from being nice to pester sex and Mrs Artful still refuses let me hang out the back of her 
I don't know whats wrong with her, well she has got a sniffle that has lasted two days and even came home from work saying she is poorly, oh and she hasn't washed the pots or tidied while she says she's poorly or fed the dogs and done the washing, ironing and the rest of the housework.
To top it all she has just read this over my shoulder as I'm lying/typing in bed and has started to call me choice names and threatened violence upon me!
I don't know what I've done wrong 
Some women don't know how good they have got it!
It's valentines day too and I was going to let her cook me a nice meal and suck my cock (as long as she corked her runny nose so it didn't drip on me) and I would have even scuttled her for a couple of minutes too, but I don't think she deserves it now with her grumpy attitude  |
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"
It's valentines day too and I was going to let her cook me a nice meal and suck my cock (as long as she corked her runny nose so it didn't drip on me) and I would have even scuttled her for a couple of minutes too, but I don't think she deserves it now with her grumpy attitude "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Now she's just got in bed because she's poorly and won't get up to do my breakfast 
She's nothing but selfish at times!!  "
No bloody brekky, do women not know there bloody place in life. Disgusting Art, just like mine, moans all evening just cos I don't help her out round the house as i'm a volunteer internet monitor  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Now she's just got in bed because she's poorly and won't get up to do my breakfast
She's nothing but selfish at times!!
No bloody brekky, do women not know there bloody place in life. Disgusting Art, just like mine, moans all evening just cos I don't help her out round the house as i'm a volunteer internet monitor "
Hey Scoots did you know Moira Stewart is Pat Butchers girl friend , I didnt till a cpl weeks ago . great profile made me lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Phwoar Moira and Pat in a girl on girl show, could you imagine lol (or at least try not to )
Thanks, our profile is just a parody of the profiles we have come across on here lol, hopefully not taken seriously by anyone. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Phwoar Moira and Pat in a girl on girl show, could you imagine lol (or at least try not to )
Thanks, our profile is just a parody of the profiles we have come across on here lol, hopefully not taken seriously by anyone. "
Great profile, pic on the way (hope you don't mind that I am leaning on the wall whilst standing on my head - I'm not as young as I used to be.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Phwoar Moira and Pat in a girl on girl show, could you imagine lol (or at least try not to )
Thanks, our profile is just a parody of the profiles we have come across on here lol, hopefully not taken seriously by anyone.
Great profile, pic on the way (hope you don't mind that I am leaning on the wall whilst standing on my head - I'm not as young as I used to be. "
We have our panel of expert Icelandic "hatsatnd" adjudicators working on it now. They will then write to our legal department (In the Cayman Islands for tax reasons) within 28 days where we shall discover whether the "leaning on the wall" has infringed any international "messaging" laws.
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Just love the profile scoots, I won't be messaging you as I can't do handstands - never could although many a young boy offered to hold my legs while I tried. We did have a giggle when we read it. Thanks for brightening a cloudy day - now we've got to plaster a ceiling - oh what fun on valentine's day! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Phwoar Moira and Pat in a girl on girl show, could you imagine lol (or at least try not to )
Thanks, our profile is just a parody of the profiles we have come across on here lol, hopefully not taken seriously by anyone.
Great profile, pic on the way (hope you don't mind that I am leaning on the wall whilst standing on my head - I'm not as young as I used to be.
We have our panel of expert Icelandic "hatsatnd" adjudicators working on it now. They will then write to our legal department (In the Cayman Islands for tax reasons) within 28 days where we shall discover whether the "leaning on the wall" has infringed any international "messaging" laws.
"
ok, just don't tell Sid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't do the hand stand required in your profile, I was trying so hard too
I had a little mishap that put the end to it all a few moments ago, I was cockling up against the front door to try the hand stand/Rod Hull and Emu bit and for artistic flare was wearing my dressing gown and had the camera on auto pilot to capture several images as proof when half way up on the third attempt the postman violently shoved a poster tube through the letterbox and caught unawares.
Would it be ok if I sent you a photograph of what appears to be Genitalia resembling Marty Feldman/Telly Savalas look-a-likee moneybox with a crumpled poster tube shaped like a cigar poking out of the slot?
P.S. I can only count to 162 so didn't bother with the 163rd word thing and I can't spell "itsaitzybitzyteenyweenyyellowpolkadotbikini".
Yours Professionally, Mr Artfuldogger Esq, Major (ret) Phd, MBE, OBE, FO, VGC (for year) Full T+T.
xxx |
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