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The Alternative Valentines Thread.
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
**waves**
Expecting to have to struggle past the avalanche of cards that the postie is gonna shove thru me door tomoz - NOT
Unfortunately, my ex did say to watch out for the post, but hoping he's sending me anthrax spores instead - much easier to deal with  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i'll not even get so much as a card, not even from my mum lol
so hi
well you know i'll always keep a kebab warm for you
 "
awww can i have red sauce on it just to get me in the mood lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i'll not even get so much as a card, not even from my mum lol
so hi
well you know i'll always keep a kebab warm for you
"
Not too much chilli sauce on it though.  |
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"i'll not even get so much as a card, not even from my mum lol
so hi
well you know i'll always keep a kebab warm for you
awww can i have red sauce on it just to get me in the mood lol"
you can even have mayo
i'm a gent like that
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"feel the love in the room.... or not so much...
i am so confident of not getting any i have given my postie the day off..... "
I'd rather have a shag than a card...Err thats not an offer by the way. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"
If its blue its dead! Thats my rule of thumb.
so thats the mass murder of those creatures in avatar sorted...... but does it stand up in a court of law??? "
and the smurfs... you have killed the bloody smurfs!!! bastard!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
If its blue its dead! Thats my rule of thumb.
so thats the mass murder of those creatures in avatar sorted...... but does it stand up in a court of law??? "
Forgot about them they weren't dead. I wouldn't fuck one though they were ,massive with tail things!!!!!!  |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
My word, this thread has gone completely downhill since I last looked - was expecting sad and lonely singletons crying in their beer (or Pinot if profffffesssssional) and they've gone off on a blue smurf/avatar/clitty/wingwang tangent
That's swingers for you..... |
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"My word, this thread has gone completely downhill since I last looked - was expecting sad and lonely singletons crying in their beer (or Pinot if profffffesssssional) and they've gone off on a blue smurf/avatar/clitty/wingwang tangent
That's swingers for you..... "
i know.... i very neary spat out my vodka in disgust but if i did i'd have been more disgusted at myself
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"My word, this thread has gone completely downhill since I last looked - was expecting sad and lonely singletons crying in their beer (or Pinot if profffffesssssional) and they've gone off on a blue smurf/avatar/clitty/wingwang tangent
That's swingers for you.....
i know.... i very neary spat out my vodka in disgust but if i did i'd have been more disgusted at myself
"
And I was also brought up to believe spitting was very impolite so would also have been disgusted at the waste of voddy (or indeed any other fluid  ) |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
"arent wis jusht gettang shilly now,oopsh think i had enof slithers off to bed
night night valentines
throws a pillow on the floor for lacey just incase she doesn't quite make it to bed
"
wadda ya mean,im a woman of conviction me,im convinced i need another drinkys |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why not take your voodoo ingestion to the next level.......who's up for a voddy enema?
But if you want to drink it on the way out it's advisable to pass it through a sieve first!!!!  |
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"arent wis jusht gettang shilly now,oopsh think i had enof slithers off to bed
night night valentines
throws a pillow on the floor for lacey just incase she doesn't quite make it to bed
wadda ya mean,im a woman of conviction me,im convinced i need another drinkys "
offers lacey something warm n wet to quench her thirst
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I'll treat mysef to an epic wank ... I might even use lube as its a special occasion  Go on treat yourself  "
Thanks! Just need to go and buy some rope, an orange, some high heels and some stockings and I'll be all set for a good 'ol asphxiwank |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Room at the table for one more? No cards, just a text from someone I had a liaison with 4 years ago, didn't even have his number anymore, has to ask who it was  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"FFS!
Papercuts from all the mail, sugar rush from all the chocs, hayfever from all the flowers, and cramp from reading all my online mail 
yeah right,pull up a pew,large one was it "
If I had vodka in the house, I would have had about half a bottle tonight. |
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ok...time to fess up, i dont do valentines, neither does kev. i see it as a nilla protocol, some bdsmers need collars and a rule book to prove what they are, some married couples seem to treat valentines day the same way...
If you have someone in your life, tell them, no matter what day it is, if you dont ,today is no different...just a day when you can do what you want, be with who you want when you want...
now when's steak and bj day....thats far more my kind of thing |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
jemmima it doesnt matter wether you do valentines or not,youv made so many people happy and smiley tonight,and i suspect a few will be laid awake wondering,so thank you from me,i got one valentine msg and one thank you msg.
made my day xxxxx
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