FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Leave for lust?
Leave for lust?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Not sure if this is in the right place, apologies if not as im a forum newbie. Im looking for advice. Would you all stay married to an on paper perfect partner, get in well, looks amazing, trust worthy etc, but with zero sexual spark? Or would you sacrifice the marriage, kids, big house and generally otherwise perfect life and hurt everyone just in the hope of eventually meeting someone else who you have lots of lust with?
Really keen to find out how people from here, whom i presume are generally quite sexual people, think about this real life conundrum. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would never sacrifice anything if it meant potentially losing the one I love. "
I keep reading this, does this make sense? I know what I mean
I wouldn’t risk fucking about just for some sex. Not a chance. |
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"Not sure if this is in the right place, apologies if not as im a forum newbie. Im looking for advice. Would you all stay married to an on paper perfect partner, get in well, looks amazing, trust worthy etc, but with zero sexual spark? Or would you sacrifice the marriage, kids, big house and generally otherwise perfect life and hurt everyone just in the hope of eventually meeting someone else who you have lots of lust with?
Really keen to find out how people from here, whom i presume are generally quite sexual people, think about this real life conundrum."
It’s all about love. If it’s not there then probably time to say goodbye but it’s easier said than done..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yeah i get that. Rather than fuck about, would you accept you will never be able to really express yourself sexually at home, or cut your losses and seperate? Genuinely tough i think... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not sure if this is in the right place, apologies if not as im a forum newbie. Im looking for advice. Would you all stay married to an on paper perfect partner, get in well, looks amazing, trust worthy etc, but with zero sexual spark? Or would you sacrifice the marriage, kids, big house and generally otherwise perfect life and hurt everyone just in the hope of eventually meeting someone else who you have lots of lust with?
Really keen to find out how people from here, whom i presume are generally quite sexual people, think about this real life conundrum.
It’s all about love. If it’s not there then probably time to say goodbye but it’s easier said than done....."
Platonic love is there in spades... romantic not so much |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah i get that. Rather than fuck about, would you accept you will never be able to really express yourself sexually at home, or cut your losses and seperate? Genuinely tough i think..."
I’d accept never being able to express myself sexually.
Wish my husband was awake so he could reply to this forum post; I have a very low sex drive and he would never cheat, leave me etc because of lack of sex. Communication is everything. I’ve never once thought ‘man I’m so luck my husband didn’t leave me because I have a really low sex drive’. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah i get that. Rather than fuck about, would you accept you will never be able to really express yourself sexually at home, or cut your losses and seperate? Genuinely tough i think..."
Is it something you can discuss at home. Would she be able to turn a blind eye to you needing sex elsewhere if you can keep what you both have with no threats to it all. |
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I had the chance once, an affair with an amazing girl. The sex was awesome - BUT - my daughter was 6 years old at the time and I did not want her to grow up without me being around full time.
I guess its easier if there are no children around. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not sure if this is in the right place, apologies if not as im a forum newbie. Im looking for advice. Would you all stay married to an on paper perfect partner, get in well, looks amazing, trust worthy etc, but with zero sexual spark? Or would you sacrifice the marriage, kids, big house and generally otherwise perfect life and hurt everyone just in the hope of eventually meeting someone else who you have lots of lust with?
Really keen to find out how people from here, whom i presume are generally quite sexual people, think about this real life conundrum."
There so much more to life than sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thinking with your cock never works out as well as you dreamt it would......say you do leave for lust, what happens when that lust has gone? Where do you go from there? To the next then the next? "
Sounds a bit like fab somehow, doesn't it.
Always the search for the next shiny, until it loses all its glitter and discover that superficial isn't all that great after all..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah i get that. Rather than fuck about, would you accept you will never be able to really express yourself sexually at home, or cut your losses and seperate? Genuinely tough i think...
I’d accept never being able to express myself sexually.
Wish my husband was awake so he could reply to this forum post; I have a very low sex drive and he would never cheat, leave me etc because of lack of sex. Communication is everything. I’ve never once thought ‘man I’m so luck my husband didn’t leave me because I have a really low sex drive’. "
I know this isn't my forum so apologies to you OP..but if you have a low sex drive and you with your husband are happy, then why sleep with other men and be here?? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Really appreciate the replies on here. Ive been firmly in the stay camp for a long time and believe sex is great but not worth changing lives over...
However, the older i get the more i notice that the lack of desire (on my part) grows like a cancer in a relationship and it eats into the little intimate moments such as laughing about the sex life, or lying cuddly on couch etc. Without any interest in getting down n dirty, after a while that stuff disappears and thats where the problems lie.
As i said, thanks everyone for input. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah i get that. Rather than fuck about, would you accept you will never be able to really express yourself sexually at home, or cut your losses and seperate? Genuinely tough i think...
I’d accept never being able to express myself sexually.
Wish my husband was awake so he could reply to this forum post; I have a very low sex drive and he would never cheat, leave me etc because of lack of sex. Communication is everything. I’ve never once thought ‘man I’m so luck my husband didn’t leave me because I have a really low sex drive’.
I know this isn't my forum so apologies to you OP..but if you have a low sex drive and you with your husband are happy, then why sleep with other men and be here?? "
It’s all on my profile  |
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"Really appreciate the replies on here. Ive been firmly in the stay camp for a long time and believe sex is great but not worth changing lives over...
However, the older i get the more i notice that the lack of desire (on my part) grows like a cancer in a relationship and it eats into the little intimate moments such as laughing about the sex life, or lying cuddly on couch etc. Without any interest in getting down n dirty, after a while that stuff disappears and thats where the problems lie.
As i said, thanks everyone for input."
Peeks and trough's..... communication I think is the key....if everyday could be like the honeymoon eh.....good luck OP |
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So if you have a sex drive , an appetite for sex if you like , and your partner doesn’t what are you go do ?
Aside from getting some bromide for your tea , I can’t see why anyone would want to stay in a relationship where the lust for their partner has gone . Assuming it was there before , how are you going to feel if the person that once desired you doesn’t any more ?
And for those saying sex isn’t everything , remember it’s the one thing that two people who are in love can do together to cement their love for each other . The glue that keeps things together if you like .
So for the op , I’d suggest a chat with your partner , find out why they no longer want you sexually . If there’s a satisfactory reason , see if they will agree that you can get it elsewhere with their blessing . Failing that , back to the bromide I guess . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So if you have a sex drive , an appetite for sex if you like , and your partner doesn’t what are you go do ?
Aside from getting some bromide for your tea , I can’t see why anyone would want to stay in a relationship where the lust for their partner has gone . Assuming it was there before , how are you going to feel if the person that once desired you doesn’t any more ?
And for those saying sex isn’t everything , remember it’s the one thing that two people who are in love can do together to cement their love for each other . The glue that keeps things together if you like .
So for the op , I’d suggest a chat with your partner , find out why they no longer want you sexually . If there’s a satisfactory reason , see if they will agree that you can get it elsewhere with their blessing . Failing that , back to the bromide I guess ."
Just because someone doesnt desire someone enough to have sex them all the time, doesn't mean they should part and move on.
If you truly love each other then you will stay together, even if you haven't got a sexual relationship.
I have read forums written by men and women about their other half and they basically said they love each other and then said something like this "if I wasn't having sex with my partner I wouldn't be with them, now that makes me think they don't love each other in the first place.. Because if a man and a woman really loved each other then it shouldnt matter if they have sex or not.
I imagine there are many of us who have parents who no longer have sex.. So should they no longer be in a relationship?? |
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"So if you have a sex drive , an appetite for sex if you like , and your partner doesn’t what are you go do ?
Aside from getting some bromide for your tea , I can’t see why anyone would want to stay in a relationship where the lust for their partner has gone . Assuming it was there before , how are you going to feel if the person that once desired you doesn’t any more ?
And for those saying sex isn’t everything , remember it’s the one thing that two people who are in love can do together to cement their love for each other . The glue that keeps things together if you like .
So for the op , I’d suggest a chat with your partner , find out why they no longer want you sexually . If there’s a satisfactory reason , see if they will agree that you can get it elsewhere with their blessing . Failing that , back to the bromide I guess .
Just because someone doesnt desire someone enough to have sex them all the time, doesn't mean they should part and move on.
If you truly love each other then you will stay together, even if you haven't got a sexual relationship.
I have read forums written by men and women about their other half and they basically said they love each other and then said something like this "if I wasn't having sex with my partner I wouldn't be with them, now that makes me think they don't love each other in the first place.. Because if a man and a woman really loved each other then it shouldnt matter if they have sex or not.
I imagine there are many of us who have parents who no longer have sex.. So should they no longer be in a relationship?? "
That’s cool , we all have different opinions .
My opinion is as I’ve said in my post , and many times in other posts .
We may well have parents who have grown old and no longer desire sex . But that’s not what we are talking about here . I’ll say it again , if lust and sexual desire was there , and then for one party it disappears , how is the one who still desires the other going to feel ? Unloved , unwanted and lost is my guess .
To suggest that if you truly love someone that you should stay with someone even if you haven’t got a sexual relationship is naive in my opinion . Why should you ? Even if you feel unloved , unwanted and lost ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So if you have a sex drive , an appetite for sex if you like , and your partner doesn’t what are you go do ?
Aside from getting some bromide for your tea , I can’t see why anyone would want to stay in a relationship where the lust for their partner has gone . Assuming it was there before , how are you going to feel if the person that once desired you doesn’t any more ?
And for those saying sex isn’t everything , remember it’s the one thing that two people who are in love can do together to cement their love for each other . The glue that keeps things together if you like .
So for the op , I’d suggest a chat with your partner , find out why they no longer want you sexually . If there’s a satisfactory reason , see if they will agree that you can get it elsewhere with their blessing . Failing that , back to the bromide I guess .
Just because someone doesnt desire someone enough to have sex them all the time, doesn't mean they should part and move on.
If you truly love each other then you will stay together, even if you haven't got a sexual relationship.
I have read forums written by men and women about their other half and they basically said they love each other and then said something like this "if I wasn't having sex with my partner I wouldn't be with them, now that makes me think they don't love each other in the first place.. Because if a man and a woman really loved each other then it shouldnt matter if they have sex or not.
I imagine there are many of us who have parents who no longer have sex.. So should they no longer be in a relationship?? "
Its a nice but slightly naive view I think. Love involves being desired and all those little touches. Having them denied is still going to be a hard thing to take whether love is there or not. And not feeling like you want to give them to someone you supposedly love is also not an easy thing to fathom. So somewhere along the way, they are not going to be able to maintain that love surely. Being the rejector or the rejected is pretty galling either way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So if you have a sex drive , an appetite for sex if you like , and your partner doesn’t what are you go do ?
Aside from getting some bromide for your tea , I can’t see why anyone would want to stay in a relationship where the lust for their partner has gone . Assuming it was there before , how are you going to feel if the person that once desired you doesn’t any more ?
And for those saying sex isn’t everything , remember it’s the one thing that two people who are in love can do together to cement their love for each other . The glue that keeps things together if you like .
So for the op , I’d suggest a chat with your partner , find out why they no longer want you sexually . If there’s a satisfactory reason , see if they will agree that you can get it elsewhere with their blessing . Failing that , back to the bromide I guess .
Just because someone doesnt desire someone enough to have sex them all the time, doesn't mean they should part and move on.
If you truly love each other then you will stay together, even if you haven't got a sexual relationship.
I have read forums written by men and women about their other half and they basically said they love each other and then said something like this "if I wasn't having sex with my partner I wouldn't be with them, now that makes me think they don't love each other in the first place.. Because if a man and a woman really loved each other then it shouldnt matter if they have sex or not.
I imagine there are many of us who have parents who no longer have sex.. So should they no longer be in a relationship??
That’s cool , we all have different opinions .
My opinion is as I’ve said in my post , and many times in other posts .
We may well have parents who have grown old and no longer desire sex . But that’s not what we are talking about here . I’ll say it again , if lust and sexual desire was there , and then for one party it disappears , how is the one who still desires the other going to feel ? Unloved , unwanted and lost is my guess .
To suggest that if you truly love someone that you should stay with someone even if you haven’t got a sexual relationship is naive in my opinion . Why should you ? Even if you feel unloved , unwanted and lost ? "
I have liked the way you engaged in all of the forums, I saw you in.. But I have to disagree here.
You shouldn't feel unloved, unwanted or lost just because your partner doesn't feel like having sex with you.
There should be much more to a relationship than sex!!
I guess if I asked if you two loved each other, you and all the other couples here would say "Yes"
But how can you call that love, if you would no longer want to be with them for not wanting to have sex with you!?
Sounds more like lust than love.
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"So if you have a sex drive , an appetite for sex if you like , and your partner doesn’t what are you go do ?
Aside from getting some bromide for your tea , I can’t see why anyone would want to stay in a relationship where the lust for their partner has gone . Assuming it was there before , how are you going to feel if the person that once desired you doesn’t any more ?
And for those saying sex isn’t everything , remember it’s the one thing that two people who are in love can do together to cement their love for each other . The glue that keeps things together if you like .
So for the op , I’d suggest a chat with your partner , find out why they no longer want you sexually . If there’s a satisfactory reason , see if they will agree that you can get it elsewhere with their blessing . Failing that , back to the bromide I guess .
Just because someone doesnt desire someone enough to have sex them all the time, doesn't mean they should part and move on.
If you truly love each other then you will stay together, even if you haven't got a sexual relationship.
I have read forums written by men and women about their other half and they basically said they love each other and then said something like this "if I wasn't having sex with my partner I wouldn't be with them, now that makes me think they don't love each other in the first place.. Because if a man and a woman really loved each other then it shouldnt matter if they have sex or not.
I imagine there are many of us who have parents who no longer have sex.. So should they no longer be in a relationship??
That’s cool , we all have different opinions .
My opinion is as I’ve said in my post , and many times in other posts .
We may well have parents who have grown old and no longer desire sex . But that’s not what we are talking about here . I’ll say it again , if lust and sexual desire was there , and then for one party it disappears , how is the one who still desires the other going to feel ? Unloved , unwanted and lost is my guess .
To suggest that if you truly love someone that you should stay with someone even if you haven’t got a sexual relationship is naive in my opinion . Why should you ? Even if you feel unloved , unwanted and lost ?
I have liked the way you engaged in all of the forums, I saw you in.. But I have to disagree here.
You shouldn't feel unloved, unwanted or lost just because your partner doesn't feel like having sex with you.
There should be much more to a relationship than sex!!
I guess if I asked if you two loved each other, you and all the other couples here would say "Yes"
But how can you call that love, if you would no longer want to be with them for not wanting to have sex with you!?
Sounds more like lust than love.
"
For us , lust is an integral part of our love for each other .
We don’t want the lust to die down at all , and it hasn’t so far  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Love is everything. However, if things aren't right in the bedroom, they are unlikely right in the living room either. I don't know your situation but perhaps there needs to be some communication at home. People change over time, life happens. Communication and effort needs to continue on both parts.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So if you have a sex drive , an appetite for sex if you like , and your partner doesn’t what are you go do ?
Aside from getting some bromide for your tea , I can’t see why anyone would want to stay in a relationship where the lust for their partner has gone . Assuming it was there before , how are you going to feel if the person that once desired you doesn’t any more ?
And for those saying sex isn’t everything , remember it’s the one thing that two people who are in love can do together to cement their love for each other . The glue that keeps things together if you like .
So for the op , I’d suggest a chat with your partner , find out why they no longer want you sexually . If there’s a satisfactory reason , see if they will agree that you can get it elsewhere with their blessing . Failing that , back to the bromide I guess .
Just because someone doesnt desire someone enough to have sex them all the time, doesn't mean they should part and move on.
If you truly love each other then you will stay together, even if you haven't got a sexual relationship.
I have read forums written by men and women about their other half and they basically said they love each other and then said something like this "if I wasn't having sex with my partner I wouldn't be with them, now that makes me think they don't love each other in the first place.. Because if a man and a woman really loved each other then it shouldnt matter if they have sex or not.
I imagine there are many of us who have parents who no longer have sex.. So should they no longer be in a relationship??
Its a nice but slightly naive view I think. Love involves being desired and all those little touches. Having them denied is still going to be a hard thing to take whether love is there or not. And not feeling like you want to give them to someone you supposedly love is also not an easy thing to fathom. So somewhere along the way, they are not going to be able to maintain that love surely. Being the rejector or the rejected is pretty galling either way. "
Love desire those touches the thoughts simple things like bringing another a cup of tea to bed, running fingers along anothers spine, just hugging or touching fingers as people share space together sharing happy, sad, whatever life throws at you, and always putting that other first in your life. Isn't that love?
Sex is just a part of that. But it's usually the first part that is removed when love dies, because it's easier to hide inside ourselves shut down and just blank another to express our discontent with the underlying reasons that love dont live there any more...
Love starts in the mind or the heart, take your pick which, it is, that's where it dies too.
When the heart or mind shuts down then the relationship is dead, who wants sex with something that no longer lives inside...
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Personally I think lack of intimacy can erode a relationship over time. I suspect it can leave a person feeling very lonely.
Whether leaving an established relationship in search of that missing spark is a good thing is an unknown until you actually do it. How much of the responsibility lies with you (generic you rather than anyone on this thread) and will therefore lead to a similar situation, might you just end up alone and still without sex? Or maybe you will meet someone on the same sexual wavelength. It's a risk, is it one you're prepared to take? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I think lack of intimacy can erode a relationship over time. I suspect it can leave a person feeling very lonely.
Whether leaving an established relationship in search of that missing spark is a good thing is an unknown until you actually do it. How much of the responsibility lies with you (generic you rather than anyone on this thread) and will therefore lead to a similar situation, might you just end up alone and still without sex? Or maybe you will meet someone on the same sexual wavelength. It's a risk, is it one you're prepared to take?"
Fucking is easy. Intimacy sometimes less easy.
Love can sometimes be the hardest thing of all.....
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"Personally I think lack of intimacy can erode a relationship over time. I suspect it can leave a person feeling very lonely.
Whether leaving an established relationship in search of that missing spark is a good thing is an unknown until you actually do it. How much of the responsibility lies with you (generic you rather than anyone on this thread) and will therefore lead to a similar situation, might you just end up alone and still without sex? Or maybe you will meet someone on the same sexual wavelength. It's a risk, is it one you're prepared to take?
Fucking is easy. Intimacy sometimes less easy.
Love can sometimes be the hardest thing of all.....
"
Proper emotional intimacy is very difficult to achieve. It makes you vulnerable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah i get that. Rather than fuck about, would you accept you will never be able to really express yourself sexually at home, or cut your losses and seperate? Genuinely tough i think..."
I walked away from the dream woman , relationship and life. Our sexual paths started to diverge a good few years back despite our fierce deep love.
I cried when I went online to look at men haha. It still hurts us both but we're happier. If you can retain a friendship with your partner afterwards all the better.
Life is short and I've always felt it's better to live a fulfilling life with respect towards who you are with. Cheating isn't the answer I thought it would be either. People get scared or comfortable and live a half life. I hear it all the time and feel sorry for them.
It takes strength and courage to leave a good life, but it also hinges on what you value more.
Good luck.
I may still mourn my previous life but I'm also ecstatically happy and finally sexually satisfied. |
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The question of whether to stay or leave isn’t really down to how much sex there is, or isn’t. It’s about how that makes you feel.
Someone with a low sex drive might tell you it’s fine to go without sex, what that really means is they’re happy therefore you should stay.
Someone who associates sex with intimacy might say going without makes you feel unloved, which is completely different.
Have you tried couples counselling? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No.
If I loved them I'd work on my relationship.
Cheating just isn't acceptable to me, I wouldn't do it.
If I decided my relationship was over, I'd leave, and then explore other things. |
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You only get one shot at life. I'm not saying don't try and work at things but when all is said and done if it's not working for you then choices have to be made. Family dynamics change, adapt over time maybe in the end all can be happy. I'm not materialistic and would walk away from a house if it meant happiness though I appreciate that walking away from a home isn't easy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a partner of mine stopped being intimate I would assume they are no longer interested in me and get rid of them.
Harsh woman "
I spent 30 years with a nan who wouldn't kiss me. The sex was cold and emotionless, and in the last 15 years it was non existent.
If he had loved me, maybe I could have suffered that, but he didn't.
I'm not prepared to live another 30 years with no intimacy or sex.
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When did things change?
Why did they change?
Have you talked about it or both stuck your heads in the sand?
Would you consider couples councelling?
You might hear things you dont want to hear and you'd both have to be honest with each other.
Depends whether you are prepared to work at what you've got.
Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Every situation is unique - but the best thing I did for myself and my self esteem was to be single after a sexless relationship.
He didn't fancy me and we had no intimacy.
We shared a house and finances and I was scared of being alone.
I'm much poorer now but I have no regrets. |
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By *uxomBloomsWoman
over a year ago
Near Tunbridge Wells |
"Every situation is unique - but the best thing I did for myself and my self esteem was to be single after a sexless relationship.
He didn't fancy me and we had no intimacy.
We shared a house and finances and I was scared of being alone.
I'm much poorer now but I have no regrets."
I agree completely, this was my situation. I think that often when sex disappears from a relationship it's a symptom of a deeper issue.
It took me a long time to regain my sexual confidence and to learn to love my body again. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks everyone for your points of view. I guess the split in here mirrors what is in my own head. Ultimately im in love with someone who for some reason physical intimacy has felt forced on my part yet i love as a friend and share common life goals and kids. Yet deep down i have depressed strong desire for a fulfilling sex life and genuinely more importantly to me, the perks that gives day to day such as mental and physical closeness, wee looks across a group of friends, text messages saying hurry home i need you etc.. sounds like a book, but i would love to experience that in real life and never have. I dont want just sex. I dont want to cheat. I dont want to leave my nice life and hurt my wife who would have sex if i wanted. I just have no desire for her annoyingly. Anyway.... thanks everyone. |
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"Not sure if this is in the right place, apologies if not as im a forum newbie. Im looking for advice. Would you all stay married to an on paper perfect partner, get in well, looks amazing, trust worthy etc, but with zero sexual spark? Or would you sacrifice the marriage, kids, big house and generally otherwise perfect life and hurt everyone just in the hope of eventually meeting someone else who you have lots of lust with?
Really keen to find out how people from here, whom i presume are generally quite sexual people, think about this real life conundrum."
If you value sex above your wife and family GO.
If you value your wife and family above sex STAY.
Why do people think it's complicated. |
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"If a partner of mine stopped being intimate I would assume they are no longer interested in me and get rid of them.
Harsh woman
I spent 30 years with a nan who wouldn't kiss me. The sex was cold and emotionless, and in the last 15 years it was non existent.
If he had loved me, maybe I could have suffered that, but he didn't.
I'm not prepared to live another 30 years with no intimacy or sex.
"
Freud has a lot to answer for  |
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"Thanks everyone for your points of view. I guess the split in here mirrors what is in my own head. Ultimately im in love with someone who for some reason physical intimacy has felt forced on my part yet i love as a friend and share common life goals and kids. Yet deep down i have depressed strong desire for a fulfilling sex life and genuinely more importantly to me, the perks that gives day to day such as mental and physical closeness, wee looks across a group of friends, text messages saying hurry home i need you etc.. sounds like a book, but i would love to experience that in real life and never have. I dont want just sex. I dont want to cheat. I dont want to leave my nice life and hurt my wife who would have sex if i wanted. I just have no desire for her annoyingly. Anyway.... thanks everyone. "
Sorry, I misread your original message, I thought your wife had gone off you, not you didn't want to have sex with her.
If you think leaving her would hurt how, how do you think she feels with the current situation which sounds like you are sexually rejecting her?
Sounds pretty dire all round.
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
I wouldn’t give up on a loving, caring, happy relationship just because of a lack of sex. There are ways around the sex aspect but it’s practically impossible to find someone you desperately love and care about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks everyone for your points of view. I guess the split in here mirrors what is in my own head. Ultimately im in love with someone who for some reason physical intimacy has felt forced on my part yet i love as a friend and share common life goals and kids. Yet deep down i have depressed strong desire for a fulfilling sex life and genuinely more importantly to me, the perks that gives day to day such as mental and physical closeness, wee looks across a group of friends, text messages saying hurry home i need you etc.. sounds like a book, but i would love to experience that in real life and never have. I dont want just sex. I dont want to cheat. I dont want to leave my nice life and hurt my wife who would have sex if i wanted. I just have no desire for her annoyingly. Anyway.... thanks everyone.
Sorry, I misread your original message, I thought your wife had gone off you, not you didn't want to have sex with her.
If you think leaving her would hurt how, how do you think she feels with the current situation which sounds like you are sexually rejecting her?
Sounds pretty dire all round.
"
I couldnt quite work out who had gone off who after reading it through a few times either  |
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